Dancing with Scissors
by piratequeen0405
Summary: Kagome's niece is left orphaned by a tragic car wreck, leaving Kagome to raise her alone. Or so she thought...help comes from an unexpected source, Sesshoumaru. COMPLETE!
1. Holes in My Heart

_A brief word or two about this fic…it has a contemporary American setting. I have never been to Japan and doubted I could set a story there without sounding like a complete dumbass, so opted for familiarity. The characters will all be somewhat OOC, but I will try to retain the basics. There will be foul language (Kagome's got a potty mouth), drug and alcohol references, and frank discussions and descriptions of sex. If you are too young or any of the aforementioned warnings are worrisome, this is probably not your cup of tea. I hope everyone else will give it a try and enjoy_.

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Kikyou and Inuyasha-Shaped Holes in My Heart

Kagome Higurashi was sitting in front of her sewing machine, trying to finish the binding on her quilt before her sister and brother-in-law went on their date, leaving her to babysit her niece, when she realized her bobbin had run out of thread. "Dammit," she said. Always willing to interpret a random event as a sign to quit early, take a nap, or have a drink, she went down the stairs to the main part of the apartment, just as her sister, Kikyou, was coming out of the steamy bathroom, long, dark hair still damp.

"Kagome, does this dress look okay? It's a little more revealing than I'm used to." The sundress was blue silk, extended to just above the knee, and had a tight and low-cut bodice.

"You look fabulous, _dah_ling. Inuyasha's going to shit his pants when he sees you. It's new. Did you get it in New York?"

"Yeah, he actually picked it out. They should be back from the park any minute. We've got to leave a little early; I need to stop at Drew's and sign some papers. What are you and Rin going to do tonight?" Kikyou started trying on shoes in front of the mirror in her bedroom.

Kagome flopped back on her sister's big bed. "We're going to make stir fry together, then I think she wanted to watch _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang._ That actually works out, because I need to sew some beads on that tapestry, and I can sew and watch at the same time. What movie are you going to see?"

"Inuyasha's been dying to drag me to _Grindhouse. _These black ones, or the blue sandals?"

"Umm…blue. You'll like the movie." Kagome paused, wrinkling her brow in contemplation. "I think. The first part's awesome. I had some feminist issues with the Tarantino contribution; it'll probably drive you crazy."

"Yes, Inuyasha already told me I need to leave my National Organization of Women membership card at home. It'll be fun though; he's kid-in-a-candy-store excited to see it again. You're a peach for babysitting so much lately. I don't what we'd do without you."

"You know I don't mind. I love being with Rin. Besides, what else would I be doing on a Saturday night?"

Kikyou sounded exasperated. "Ah, going on a date, maybe? It's been way over a year since you got laid. How much longer is this self-imposed exile from the y-chromosome going to last?"

"Can I help it if I prefer dildos and imaginary men? Imaginary men don't leave the toilet seat up, hurt your feelings, have morning breath, or cum before you've gotten off."

"You've got to take chances, Kagome. If I had that attitude when Inuyasha and I started dating, he wouldn't have lasted a week." They heard the sounds of footsteps and laughter in the stairway. "Speak of the devil's spawn himself."

A handsome man with long white hair, golden eyes, and a small child riding on his shoulders ducked into the room. "Ladies," he greeted, then saw his wife. "Oooo Kikyou, that dress…how 'bout we skip the movie and bump uglies instead?"

"Tender ears, Inuyasha."

"Mommy, you look pretty!" said the happy, dark-haired little girl.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I feel pretty. How was the park?"

"Daddy pushed me so high on the swing I thought I was gonna barf!"

"That sounds fun," Kikyou said warmly, but raised her eyebrows at her husband.

"How was the dog?" Kagome asked. "He didn't eat anything gross, did he?" Inuyasha had taken Kagome's Wolfhound to the park with them.

"He was great. Such a kid-magnet. Good thing he's so mellow. Alright Rin, time to get down." Inuyasha grabbed the girl by the waist, gave her a little toss, and caught her.

Rin giggled. "Do it again!" Inuyasha threw her up in the air, caught her, and dropped a happily shrieking Rin on the bed next to Kagome. They were joined a moment later by a huge black dog, water dripping from its mouth.

"Eeee! I'm being bombarded!" Kagome squealed, as her dog licked her face. "Oberon, stop!" she laughed.

Inuyasha pulled Kikyou to him and kissed her. "You look good enough to eat," he whispered in her ear.

"Ahh…I'm feeling very edible. But you'll have to wait until after we get home," she whispered back.

Kagome succeeded in fending off her attacker and wiped her face. "Rin Rin are you hungry yet? We can start dinner soon if you are."

"I'm a little hungry. Can we go get ice cream after? "she asked hopefully.

"If you eat well, absolutely."

"What are you having?" Inuyasha asked.

"Shrimp and asparagus stir fry," answered Kagome. "I got the asparagus from the farmers' market this morning."

"Eeewwww. I'm glad I won't be here." Inuyasha had a slight aversion to green food.

"But Daddy, you said asparagus makes your pee smell funny."

"Doesn't mean I want to eat it."

Kikyou fluffed up her black hair and slung her bag over her shoulder. "We should get going." She went to her sister and daughter, sprawled on the bed, kissing them both. "Have fun you two. Rin Baby, don't take advantage of your aunt. Bedtime after the movie. I love you."

"I love you, Mommy."

Inuyasha kissed Kagome on the cheek. "See ya, sis. Love ya."

"Love you too, Yasha," Kagome replied.

Inuyasha picked Rin up. "My own sweet girl. I had fun at the playground with you. I'll see you in the morning. And what do you do if the zombies come?"

"Go for the brains," Rin chanted.

He smooched her loudly on the cheek. "That's my girl."

"Inuyasha!" scolded Kikyou. "You'll give the child nightmares."

"But she needs to be prepared for the onslaught of the living dead," he protested. "I'm being a responsible parent."

"Out, you two!" Kagome herded them down the steps. "Rin dolly, do you want to peel shrimp or wash asparagus? And what music should we listen to?"

"I want to wash, and I think we should listen to…" she thought for a moment, "what were you listening to this morning?"

"Toots and Maytals?" Rin shrugged and nodded. "Alright Funky Kingston, I can get my reggae on again today. For a kid, you have remarkably good taste."

XxXxX

Kagome had just finished working on the tapestry that had been commissioned by a trendy new restaurant and was pouring a glass of wine, when a shrill, terrified scream split the night quiet. She hurried down the hallway into her niece's room.

"Rin, honey. Rin, it's okay. I'm here." Kagome sat on the bed and pulled the crying little girl into her lap.

"Kagome! Something's wrong with Mommy and Daddy!"

"Honey, it's okay. I'm right here. It was just a bad dream," she soothed.

"_No_! Something's wrong!" Rin sobbed hysterically.

Kagome held her niece's shaking body tightly, rocking and stroking her hair, softly chanting "Sssshhhh" until the child quieted.

"There sweetie. Okay? Just a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?"

"It wasn't just a dream! Something happened to Mommy and Daddy! Something bad."

"Okayokay honey, I believe you." Kagome didn't want her to start panicking again. "They'll be home pretty soon. Do you want me to call them?"

"Uh huh," Rin nodded.

"Here, my phone's in my pocket. I'll put it on speaker." They both waited while the ringing went on until Kikyou's voice mail message started. Kagome hung up. "I bet they turned off the phone when they were at the movie and forgot to turn it back on," she said with a confidence she didn't feel. "How would you like to sit on my lap in the living room? You'll be the first thing they see when they walk through the door. Okay? I'll hold you, and you can go back to sleep and wake up as soon as they get home."

"Okay," she sniffed. "Kagome, I'm scared."

"I can tell," Kagome said gently, "but honey, I'm right here. I won't let anything bad happen to you. Which stuffed animal friend do you want?"

"Wonton and Ginger." Rin grabbed her plush pandas as Kagome wrapped her in a light blanket and scooped her up.

"Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything as long as we're up?"

"Drinkawater," Rin yawned.

Half an hour later, Kagome was settled on the couch, Rin sleeping in a nest of pillows next to her. She had tried reading, but couldn't concentrate, so she looked in the box containing her knitting projects. A scarf. Perfect. No counting stitches, no looking at a pattern, just simple knitting she could do in her sleep, while waiting for her sister and brother-in-law to return. She turned down the volume on her phone, so not to wake Rin and noticed the time. Almost midnight. She did a quick calculation. If they saw a 7:00 movie, dinner at 9:30 or 10...not too late. No need to worry. Yet. But she had to be honest, Rin's fear bothered her. The girl had a strange ability to sense people's emotions and was rarely wrong.

After an hour of knitting, Kagome began to worry anew. Always-responsible Kikyou would normally have called by now. Rin's restless sleep was doing nothing to calm her nerves. She dialed her sister's cell again. Still no answer. She tried Inuyasha's phone. No answer. Kagome felt a sinking dread. Suddenly her phone vibrated. Oh thank god, she thought, but the caller ID indicated it was her friend, Kanna. "Hello?"

"Kagome? It's Kanna." She sounded upset.

"Hang on a sec." Kagome got up and went into the next room. "Kanna, what's wrong?"

"Kagome, I'm at work. At the hospital...in the ER. Kagome...oh god...there's been an accident. Kikyou and Inuyasha were brought in a little while ago. Kagome, I'm so sorry. They didn't make it."

"What?" she croaked.

"Kagome, I'm sorry. They're dead."

"What? Are you…are you sure?" Kagome asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, honey I'm so sorry. I want to come over, but I can't leave. We're totally understaffed tonight, and I'm afraid Nurse Ratched'll fire me if I don't finish my shift. You shouldn't be alone. I'm going to call Sango; I'm sure she'll come right over."

"Kanna, are you sure it's not a mistake?" Kagome was doing all she could not to cry.

"I'm positive. God Kagome, I'm so sorry. I'll call Sango now. Is Rin asleep?"

"Oh god, Rin. What am I going to tell her?"

"Honestly I don't know. Some version of the truth? I'm going to go now. I'll call Sango. You'll be alright. We're all going to help you, okay? Bye."

Kagome stood in the dark room, not comprehending the enormity of what she'd just been told. Her twin sister and her best friend. The two most important people in her life were suddenly no longer in it. There was a noise behind her, coming from the doorway. She turned around and saw Rin's shape silhouetted against the dimly lit hallway. Kagome went to her and enfolded the girl in her arms.

"They're not coming home, are they?"

"No sweetie, they're not." Kagome sat on the floor with her niece, and the two cried in each other's arms.

XxXxX

Sango unlocked the door to the second floor apartment shared by Kagome, Kikyou, and Inuyasha with the spare key that was kept under a potted plant. Both Inuyasha and Kagome had an unfortunate habit of either losing or forgetting keys. She went up the stairs and was greeted by Kagome's huge black dog. "Hi Obi," she said, scratching him behind the ears. "Let's go find Kagome."

No one was in the living room, so she went into the next room, Kikyou and Inuyasha's bedroom. Kagome was sitting on the bed, her face buried in a pillow. Rin, arms wrapped around another pillow, was sleeping next to her. Sango quietly walked in and put her hand on Kagome's shoulder. Kagome lifted her head, brown eyes puffy and bloodshot.

"Their pillows smell like them." She got up and clung to her friend.

Sango smiled sadly. "Do you want to go sit and talk?"

"Yeah. I think Rin'll sleep for a while."

The women sat in the living room. Kagome grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. "Do you want a glass of wine or anything?"

"Maybe in a bit. How'd Rin take it?"

"Better than me. Actually she already knew. She woke up screaming, saying something bad happened to them."

"Poor thing. That must have been frightening."

"She really doesn't understand. She knows my parents are dead. But she doesn't get it, death. Shit, she's only four. For that matter I don't understand either. Did Kanna tell you anything?"

"Drunk driver, going the wrong way on the highway. It happened in the tunnels. They didn't have a chance."

"Jesus Christ." Kagome looked stricken. "I feel like it's my parents all over again. Drunk driver…snowstorm. Just insignificant details with the same outcome, except now it's Rin left without a mom and dad." She reached down and petted the dog at her feet. "I just can't believe it. I feel like they'll walk through the door any minute. They'll ask about Rin, how she went to bed, talk about the movie, complain about East End traffic. You know though, at least they died happy. They really were happy. They started talking about having another kid when Kikyou's tour was over." She shook her head. "It's so surreal." She looked at her friend. "Sango, I'm scared. When the reality of this sinks in…I'm just going to lose it." Kagome let out a shaky breath. "But I can't. I have to think of Rin."

"Honey, we will all help you. You have been there for us so many times. We are going to get you through this. You're not alone." She reached over and squeezed Kagome's hand.

Kagome quickly swiped at the tears that had come back. "I'm going to get a glass of wine. Would you like one?"

"Sure, but you stay put. I'll get it. Red or white?"

"White. It's in the fridge." Kagome handed Sango her empty wine glass.

When Sango returned Kagome asked, "How's Miroku? Did he mind you coming over?"

"No, not at all. He'll be by later in the morning. He's in shock. I think he was probably glad to be alone. We all grieve differently."

"What about your grieving? You seem pretty well entrenched in psychotherapist mode. You're not at work you know."

Sango smiled. "I know. I'm trying to be a good friend by not flipping out. I had a long cry when Kanna called. I guess I'm in shock too." They were quiet for a few minutes.

"God, Sango, I don't want to sound selfish, but what am I going to do? Our landlord told us a couple weeks ago he wanted to sell the building, but he would give us an opportunity to buy first. We thought with Kikyou's album about to come out and Yasha's business taking off, we'd be able to finally become homeowners. There's no way I can afford it on my own. Hell, I won't even be able to afford the rent anymore. We're going to have to move. Poor Rin. This is all she knows."

"It'll work out. Kids are stronger than you realize."

"Thank god I got my column finished early this week. How often does that happen? Usually I'm working all night to make deadline." Kagome had a sex-advice column in the local independent weekly newspaper.

"Anything good in your column this week?"

"There's the typical 'my girlfriend cheated on me how do I know if I can trust her' and the ridiculous 'my boyfriend wants to have a three-some with another girl will this make me a lesbian' and the interesting 'my husband likes me to dress up like a librarian and dominate him is this normal.'"

Sango snickered. "And how did you answer?"

"Short version—you don't, no, and yes. Okay maybe not _normal_, but pretty vanilla when it comes to adventures in role playing. Of course I stretch all this sage advice over hundreds of words. Jeez, as big a pain-in-the-ass as the column can be, I think it will be a welcome distraction over the next few weeks."

"Well if you need a break, I don't mind guest writing. No one would have to know." Sango had a secret desire to try her hand at Kagome's column.

"No offense, darling, but you are nowhere near perverted enough. Miroku on the other hand…"

Sango brought out the wine bottle and refilled glasses. Kagome realized something. "Crap, Sango! I forgot about all that funeral stuff. I have no idea what to do. When Mom and Dad died Souta took care of everything." She sighed. "I need to call him. Shit. Goddam, I want a cigarette…more than I have in three years."

"No, you don't. You went through and put all your friends through hell when you quit. Don't go there."

"Yeahyeahyeah, you're right. I still want one." She realized something and struck her forehead with the palm of her hand. "I need to call the Taishous. Fuck. What do I say? 'Hi, it's Kagome, remember me? Sorry for calling so late. I know you hated my sister and disowned Inuyasha, but they're dead now. Thought you'd want to know.'"

"Do you want me to call?"

Kagome looked at Sango gratefully, then shook her head. "No, thanks. It's something I need to do. I don't even know how to get ahold of them; I doubt they're listed in the book. Inuyasha talked to his brother two or three times a year. I should be able to find his cell number in the office."

Kagome found the number she wanted relatively easily. She went back into the living room and curled up on the couch. "It was in a somewhat obvious place. He actually had a folder labeled 'Assholes I Hate'; it was the first place I looked, since he frequently referred to Sesshoumaru with that precise epithet, but it wasn't in there. It was in the folder labeled 'Necessary Evils'. Seems kind of cruel now that Yasha's developing organizational skills, albeit completely warped ones, he's killed." She smiled, then frowned. "Is that totally morbid, to joke around?"

"No, you cope however you need to."

"Should I call them now? Is it worse to call at three a.m. or worse to wait a few more hours?"

"I think you should at least try to leave a message. You need some privacy. I'll go check on Rin."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru Taisho's cell, lying nearby on his nightstand, began to ring at 3:10. He frequently received international calls at odd hours, so he picked it up, but didn't recognize the number. He saw the time, that the number was local, and decided to ignore it. The phone finished ringing as he rolled over. A minute later there was the tone indicating a message had been left. I'll get it at a more reasonable hour, he thought as he fell back to sleep. Two minutes later the phone rang again. Goddam it, same number.

"What is it?" he answered unhappily.

"Um…hello? This is Kagome Higurashi."

"Who?" he demanded.

"Kikyou's sister."

Kikyou. His brother's wife. "Yes. I'm sorry. I was asleep."

"I know. I'm sorry," the tired voice apologized. "Um…Kikyou and Inuyasha were in a car accident a few hours ago. They were killed."

"What? Kagome, I'm sorry, did you say they were killed?"

"Yes. I can't talk now," the voice on the other line started to crack. "I need to cry. I'll call you tomorrow, today I guess. Sorry…" She hung up.

Sesshoumaru hoped it was a joke. He found a number in his contacts list.

"Hello."

"Naraku."

"Sesshoumaru."

"Are you busy? I need some information."

"I'm sitting in front of a motel that charges by the hour, waiting for a councilman to come out with his hooker so I can take their picture. If I can find out what you want by phone, I'm not busy."

"Call your informant with the police. Find out if there's been an accident involving my brother and his wife."

Twelve minutes later Sesshoumaru answered his phone. He hated using Naraku, but the man, though completely morally depraved, had his uses.

"Well?"

"Sorry man. Head-on collision. D.O.A. Drunk driver killed too. Cops said it was a bad one. Highway will be closed 'til noon, maybe later. Hang on…gotta go; they're coming out."

Sesshoumaru sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his temples. He and his brother were not close; in fact they ended up arguing nearly every time they spoke, which wasn't often. But he was his brother. Inuyasha. He shook his head sadly. The news was going to destroy his mother. He knew she wanted to reconcile ever since the child had been born, but his father was too stubborn. He wouldn't take it well either.

Sesshoumaru put on a silk robe and went to the area of the Taisho mansion where his parents' room was located and softly knocked on the door. This would not be easy.

XxXxX

Four hours later he sat in the sunroom. The mid-May morning brought brightness, but it was noticed by no one in the house. The housekeeper walked in and set the breakfast tray on the table. "Sesshoumaru, I've brought your coffee and a beignet. Please tell me if you need anything else."

"No, thank you, Anita. I'm fine. See to my mother the rest of the day."

Sesshoumaru opened his laptop and by-passed _The Wall Street Journal_ and _The New York Times_ in favor of the local paper's website, something he'd never done.

_**INDIE ROCK PRINCESS DEAD IN FIERY CARWRECK**_

_Local musician and member of indie-rock band Arrow, Kikyou Higurashi, 28, was killed in a collision last night with husband Inuyasha Taisho, 29, son of real estate magnate Ken Taisho._ Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes at the amateurish grammar and journalism of the local paper. _The accident occurred at 11:30 pm when an alleged drunk driver, Billy Wayne Houchens, entered Interstate 36 going the wrong way and struck Higurashi head on in the Park Hill Tunnel. They were pronounced dead at 12:30. Houchens was also killed. The wreck and resulting fire have closed Interstate 36 westbound. Arrow is due to release their third album, _Jewel Uncorrupted_, next week and had just been seen Monday night on _The Late Show with David Letterman_. Higurashi and Taisho have one daughter, Rin. Higuarshi is also survived by sister, Kagome. Taisho is survived by father, Ken, mother, Rose, and brother, Sesshoumaru_.

Sesshoumaru closed his laptop and looked up as his father and his father's doctor walked into the sunroom. "How is she?" he asked.

"Resting comfortably. For now." Ken Taisho slowly shook his head. "I should have listened to her years ago. I hope she can forgive me. Now all she's thinking about is the child. Have you heard from that Higurashi woman yet?"

"No. It's early. If I haven't heard from her by noon I'll call."

"I need to talk to Kagura. I'd like her to file a petition right away to get guardianship of the child. Remind me, what is her name?"

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. "Her name is Rin, Father. Do you think that's wise?"

"Getting our hands on that girl is the only way your mother will forgive me for keeping Inuyasha away all these years. And that woman can't raise a child. She's an artist or something for god's sake. Trust me, she'll be happy to be free from the responsibility. If not, I'll just throw a little money at her. Those types are all alike."

Sesshoumaru sighed with disgust. Once again his father was making assumptions that would, no doubt, come to haunt them all. He was certain Kagome Higurashi would not relinquish her niece to them for any amount of money.

&&&

_Forgive the sadness, character death, etc. Sparks, laughter, and love will follow. Thanks for reading. I do not own Inuyasha, nor do I own Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Grindhouse, NOW, Toots and the Maytals, Funky Kingston, The New York Times, or The Wall Street Journal. _


	2. Close Friends, Donuts, and Toys

The man crossing Third Street carrying two large white and green boxes yawned loudly. It was early in the morning, and he had been awake for hours. His hair, pulled back low, was still damp from the shower he had hoped would wake him up and wash off his sadness, and the wrinkled jeans and poorly buttoned oxford shirt completed the look that said, 'I could give a shit about my appearance right now.' He knew the donuts in his arms would be greeted with groans and death threats from his health-and-calorie-conscious wife and friend, but he also was well aware that they would eat several apiece. And fight over the last one.

As he climbed the stairs, navigating around toys, shoes, and bones, he tried to stay cheerful. He had so many memories of this apartment, all connected to Inuyasha. They had been close friends—the two beleaguered, outnumbered men associated with the Kikyou, Kagome, Sango Triumvirate. Miroku sorely missed him already, but what better way to honor him than indulging in one of his favorite foods? A large canine head halted his progress and endangered the successful delivery of the boxes. "Kagome, call your dog!"

"Obi, come!" The head backed off, but continued staring at the source of the greasy, sugary odor.

Miroku entered the kitchen and saw that Rin was awake. He set the boxes on the table and picked the little girl up. She hugged him tightly around the neck. He knew Rin was petite, but she suddenly seemed so tiny and vulnerable. "Hey, sweetie. I brought you some breakfast." Rin sniffed and attempted a smile.

"Miroku! Krispy Kreme?" Kagome exclaimed with annoyance. "I don't know if I should bless you or curse you. Two boxes? Dammit, what are you trying to do to me."

He kissed her cheek. "Kagome, didn't you know," he said with amusement, "donuts consumed within twenty-four hours of receiving really bad news have no calories?"

She kissed him back. "Thanks," she said gratefully, breaking into a grin. "Are there any jellies?"

"Yellow and red."

Kagome made a Homer Simpson-like noise. "Red jelly donuts…the coffee's almost done."

Miroku kissed Rin and put her back on her chair, then embraced his wife. "How are you?"

Sango returned hug. "We're hanging in there. What do you think, Rin, we haven't cried in…oh…half an hour?"

Rin wasn't sure if she should respond. It seemed to her that grown-ups were always asking questions that didn't need an answer. "Can I have a donut?"

"That's why I brought them. Help yourself." Rin opened the top box quickly, hoping to see a high proportion of chocolate to not-chocolate. Kagome put a glass of milk and several napkins in front of the child, then poured coffee for the adults. They all sat, not knowing how to break the silence.

"Rin Rin, what is it? You're not eating."

"Kagome, Mommy didn't like it when I had just donuts for breakfast," Rin said, almost crying.

Kagome's eyes filled with tears, but her voice was steady. "Rin, it's true; donuts are not the most nutritious food out there. But we don't have them that often, and I'll make sure you have a good lunch. Honey, I guarantee, your Mommy is in the Summerland wanting nothing more right now than for you to eat as many donuts as you want." Kagome smiled. Rin smiled back and took a big bite, smearing chocolate all over her nose.

"What's the Summerland again?" Rin asked between bites.

"The Summerland is where your Mommy believed people go after they die. It sounds like a nice place, doesn't it?"

"What did Daddy believe?"

Kagome thought a moment. "Your Daddy didn't believe in anything, so…I guess that means he's everywhere."

Sticky-fingered Rin crawled into Kagome's lap. "That's a nice place too."

Kagome and Sango exchanged glances over the girl's head. Sango gave a melancholy, little nod that seemed to mean, 'she'll be okay.' Kagome let out a shaky breath and asked, "Wanna split one?"

"Lemon jelly?"

"Uh, _red _jelly."

"Jeez! Just eat a whole one, you weirdos. You both could use a little meat on your bones. And pass me a glazed cruller."

Sango passed a box over to her husband. "Why did you bring so many? Two baker's dozen for the four of us?"

"I talked to Kouga already. He and, therefore, Ayame will be by soon. I assume Kanna is coming after her shift. Isaiah and Latrisha will probably come up with the kids. I doubt Jak and Bank will be awake before noon on a Sunday…though it might be the morning they go antiquing."

"Drag queen by night, antiquing by day…could those two be more stereotypical?" Kagome asked, slicing a raspberry filled donut in half. There was a knock on the door. "Miroku, do you mind? And watch out for Lake Oberon on the floor." The drooling dog had been watching Rin intently, knowing she was the messiest eater in the house and of the inevitability some morsel would fall to the floor. Miroku came back into the kitchen, followed by Kagome's downstairs neighbor.

"Kagome, we just saw it on the news. I am so, so sorry." Kagome transferred Rin to Miroku's lap, got up, and hugged her neighbor. "How are you holding up?"

"Well, the shock has settled in, but I think I'm still in denial that it's really happening," Kagome said, eyes watering.

"Isaiah's talking to the kids right now. Is it okay if they come up?"

Kagome took a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose. "Trish, thanks, its fine," she smiled and looked toward Rin. "Honey would you like to see Jordan and Jericho?"

Rin brightened a little. Her downstairs neighbors were more like cousins. "Can we go to the park?"

"Not today, probably, but you three can play in your room."

There was another knock on the door. "Come in!" Kagome yelled. A dark-haired man and a red-headed woman entered. "Hey, Kouga," Kagome greeted.

He wrapped his arms around her. "Kagome, I'm so sorry. I know Inuyasha and I didn't always agree on everything, but I'll miss him. And you know I loved Kikyou."

"Thanks Kouga. I appreciate it." He kept holding her, rubbing her back, oblivious to his girlfriend behind him shooting daggers with her eyes. "You can let go now." Kouga reluctantly released her, then hugged Sango and Rin. Kagome noticed a very pissed-looking Ayame standing still in the corner. None of them particularly liked Kouga's new girlfriend. She was whiny and clingy and jealous. But, after that hug, no fucking wonder, Kagome thought. No wonder she hates me; Kouga was obviously still obsessed. "Ayame, hi. Latrisha, you've met Kouga before; this is his girlfriend, Ayame."

"Good to meet you, honey. Too bad it isn't under better circumstances. Kagome, do you mind if I help myself to some coffee? Ayame, can I get you some too?"

Kagome grinned. "Please, help yourselves. I'll put on another pot in a minute." She mouthed her silent thanks to her neighbor, one of the warmest people she knew. If anyone could thaw out Ayame, Latrisha could.

A few minutes later, a tall man accompanied by two kids with dreadlocks entered, the children looking from Rin to the boxes of donuts with awe and envy. "Momma?" they said simultaneously.

"Go ahead, but don't eat too much; there's a picnic after church today," Latrisha reminded them.

Kagome got out a plate and handed it to Rin. "You can each put two on a plate, then take it to Rin's room and play." She sighed when they left, then embraced the tall man who had just joined them. "Isaiah, thanks for bringing the kids. I might need your help a lot the next few weeks."

"Anytime you want to bring Rin down, go ahead. We love having her."

"Thanks, I'll try not to abuse your hospitality. She's used to having the attention of three adults, you know?" She sniffed loudly and shook her head, trying to clear it. "Isaiah, is your uncle still a funeral director? Can I talk to him?"

"Yeah, do you want him to make the arrangements?"

She nodded. "It would have to be very secular or, at least, non-denominational. And they wanted to be cremated. How does it all work? Who do I need to call? Do I look up crematorium in the Yellow Pages?" Her voice was beginning to crack.

"Honey, calm down. I'll go call him soon. It can be however you want, and he manages everything. Just take care of yourself and Rin."

She slumped into a chair. "Thanks. Uhhgh, I feel like shit. I'm getting that achy, shaky, 'I've been up all night' queasiness."

"Kagome," Sango said gently, "why don't you go take a nap for a couple hours. We can handle Rin."

"Okay, I think I might take you up on your offer." She thought of something. "Shit. Miroku, what do I need to do to get legal custody of Rin. Nobody's going to come knocking on the door and try to take her, are they?"

"It's called guardianship; I'll file the petition tomorrow. And no, no one's going to take her."

"Will it be expensive, because I can't afford much?"

"I'll just charge you court costs. It won't be a big deal; no one will contest it."

There was another sharp knock, and a platinum blonde wearing hospital scrubs came in. "Hey, you all. I just finished my shift." She and Kagome hugged tightly.

"Thanks for the phone call last night, Kanna. I'm glad I got to hear it from a friendly voice."

"You doing okay?"

Kagome nodded weakly, then yawned. "Alright, I'll try to sleep. Not promising anything though. I'm tired, but my mind's still spinning."

"Do you want a Valium?" Sango suggested.

"As much as I would like to spend the next two weeks numb, I'll pass. I don't want to wake up fuzzy, in case Rin needs me. Would someone mind taking the dog for a walk? Just take him to the park and let him chase squirrels. The poop bags are by the leash."

Kagome peeked in on Rin. The kids were playing with blocks together, and she decided not to disturb them. She went up the stairs to her attic room. It was spacious, with a sloping ceiling and a turret, light pouring in from the several dormers. One half of the third floor housed her studio, packed with bolts of fabric, racks of thread and embroidery floss, two cutting tables, an ironing board, a serger, and two other sewing machines. The other half had her clothes and bed, a couch and coffee table, bookcases, and a stereo.

She stripped off her clothes and climbed in bed. On the nightstand was a black and white photograph. She picked it up, studying it like she'd done many times before. It was a photo of nude Inuyasha and Kikyou, when she was near full term carrying Rin.

Her sister had come out of the shower, wiped steam from the mirror, and noticed the veins in her chest and breasts and her nipples had darkened in color. Her skin seemed almost transparent against the lacy, deep blue lines that were her veins. Kikyou dried and asked Kagome to photograph her. Kagome was enchanted with her sister's pregnant body, which even six months earlier had still looked mostly like her own. At that time she was round and ripe and beautiful. Kagome happily grabbed her camera, and they took advantage of the morning sun streaming through Kikyou and Inuyasha's bedroom window.

A short time into the impromptu shoot, Inuyasha came home from errand running and saw them. He had a lump in his throat watching them connect. His two favorite women, one he loved like a sister, one he given his soul. Kagome noticed him and said, 'well hurry up, are you coming or not?' So he took off his shirt. What had begun as an innocent photo session of a happy young couple expecting a baby, turned into something quietly erotic. Soon both of the subjects were naked, twisting limbs around each other. Most of the photos Kagome had given to Kikyou for her and Inuyasha's private enjoyment. The photo at which she was staring was one she had entered in a photography contest sponsored by the city's Council on the Arts. It won the grand prize and earned her five thousand dollars. She was immensely proud of it and kept it on her nightstand, more as a trophy and ego-booster, rather than a memento. The picture was of Kikyou facing forward, with her head turned toward the window. Inuyasha was behind her, his face partially hidden in the side of her neck, his long hair sweeping over their left shoulders. They both had their arms cradling Kikyou's belly.

Kagome had always looked at the photo in appreciation of its composition. Inuyasha had spent that summer and fall working for a landscaper and his whole upper body was deeply tanned. Kikyou avoided sun like a vampire. The contrast of her dark hair, his light hair; her pale skin against his, several shades darker; the contrast of her curves to his lean maleness and the way the morning sun shadowed and highlighted the differences in their bodies, those were the things Kagome normally absorbed, the artistic merits, the elements that made up the picture. At that moment though, Kagome only saw the people captured, forever caught at that precise point in time. For the first time Kagome saw that photo as a picture of the love Kikyou and Inuyasha had for each other. They held Kikyou's swollen belly like the child, the result, culmination of all they felt for one another, was already on the outside, breathing air. They held her belly as though it were a separate entity, but one that was impossible to disconnect from either of them. They were already a family.

She carefully put the picture under a pillow and lay down, as she began to sob. Oh well, she thought, I almost made it an hour before breaking down again.

XxXxX

Kagome was awaken by a small body curling up next to her. She pulled Rin in close. "Hi, honey," she said sleepily. "You okay?"

"I just wanted you."

"Here I am." Kagome noted the time. Eleven a.m. She actually slept a few hours. "Who is still here?"

"Jordie and Jerie had to go to church, but Miroku and Sango and Kanna are still here. Kouga and that girl took Obi for a walk."

"'That girl is named Ayame."

"She doesn't like you."

Kagome sighed, "Yeah, I get the feeling. It's because Kouga and I went out a few times, long ago, before you were even born. She's thinks he still likes me."

"He does, though."

"Hmm. I should tell him to give up. I thought after almost five years, he'd have figured it out." How is it that someone so smart can be so damn clueless, she wondered. Kouga's star in the legal community reached stratospheric heights in just a few years, once he cut his hair and gave up pot, of course. He was recognized as having a bright future in corporate law, on the fast track to make partner at the large firm which employed him. It's not like they even dated that long or seriously. Time to give him the wake-the-fuck-up bitch slap. Thank god she had never let things progress beyond oral sex. If she'd slept with him, he'd probably never get it.

"Why don't you like him?" Rin asked curiously. Kagome was always fairly open and forthcoming, for a grown-up, but her mother frequently told her not to ask such personal questions. Now that Kagome was sharing, Rin felt special and didn't want her to stop.

"I love Kouga as a friend, sweetie, but he's just not my type. When we dated, I was kind of in a bad spot and didn't want a relationship. Later…I don't know…I just knew it wasn't meant to be." She kissed Rin on the head and decided it was time for a change of topic. "Did you have an okay time with Jordan and Jericho?"

"Yeah. They seemed kind of weird at first. They didn't know what to say to me. But it got okay. We built a block tower, and Jordan showed me a dance she learned in kindergarten."

"Oh honey," Kagome began sadly, "you'll probably find the same thing when you go back to school. People have a hard time knowing how to act. I think mostly people just want to do the right thing, but unfortunately the right thing isn't always easy to figure. When my parents died it seemed like everyone was stuck between pretending nothing happened and avoiding me, because they were afraid to mention it, or sometimes they acted like I was broken or sick. But, Rin, it all gets better eventually. I promise."

"When will we stop being so sad?" The scratchy throat and hot eyes were coming back. She buried her face in Kagome's pillow.

Kagome stroked the child's hair and let her cry. "We never _really _stop being sad. Sadness is part of what makes us human. Don't you think it would be worse to lose someone you love and _not _feel sad? And wouldn't it be boring if we were happy all the time?"

Rin actually thought perpetual happiness sounded great.

"We need hard times, so the good times seem that much better. But honey, I know how you feel. I really do. Anytime you want to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Rin lifted her head and entwined arms around her aunt. "Kagome, if something bad happens to you, where will I go?"

She took a deep breath. "Rin, I won't lie to you and say nothing will ever happen to me. But as long as I'm around, I'll take care of you. I love you honey. If something _did _happen, hmm…you'd probably go live with Sango and Miroku."

"Why not Jak and Bank?"

Kagome laughed at the thought of those two raising a kid. "Actually, sweetie, they would probably do an excellent job," she admitted, then remembered something. "You know though, you have a set of grandparents and an uncle. I'm sure they would take care of you if anything happened to me."

"Daddy's mom and dad?"

"Um hmm," Kagome nodded.

"Why haven't I met them yet? Do they live far away?"

"No, honey, they live here. It's all complicated."

Rin hated when grown-ups told her things were complicated and nothing else, as if complication explained anything.

"Your Daddy and his parents used to fight a lot, and a long time ago they had such a big fight that they got all stubborn and wouldn't talk to each other anymore. You know how I always say 'never go to bed angry', well apparently the Taisho's go to bed angry all the time. You'll meet them at the funeral." She started to get up. "Should we get some lunch?"

"Kagome, you don't have any clothes on," she giggled.

"No, sometimes I like to sleep naked." Or all the time, she thought.

"I just brushed my teeth. Nobody even told me to." Rin knew that would impress her.

Kagome pulled on her t-shirt and hugged her niece. "So responsible. Just like your Mommy."

"Except my eyes?" Nearly every grown-up she knew had at one point told her how much she resembled her mother.

"Definitely your Daddy's eyes. At least the color." She brought her face down to Rin's. "Your eyes are a lot more…almond-shaped and tilted. Your Daddy always said his eye shape he got from his mother, and you have Taisho-shaped eyes. Your eyes are just like your uncle's. You'll see when you meet them." Kagome decided it was getting too warm for jeans and took a clean skirt from the top of her laundry basket. She piggy-backed her niece downstairs and into the kitchen.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru's cell rang. Thank god, he thought. It was four in the afternoon, and his father was driving him crazy, going on and on about 'when is that Higurashi woman planning on telling us anything,' and 'those damned, irresponsible artist types' and 'does the woman even know how to use a phone?' "Yes," he answered.

"Umm…hi, this is Kagome."

"Yes, Kagome. Are you and Rin doing okay?"

"We're holding up. Thanks for asking. How are you all?"

He thought of his mother sedated, his father ranting. "We're fine," he lied. "Have you contacted a funeral home?"

"Oh yeah. The funeral is Tuesday morning at ten. The place is Thomas and Sons; it's across the street from the Land of Galilee Baptist Church on South Washington."

Sesshoumaru scribbled the information. South Washington was very urban. He had assumed it would have been out in the nicer suburbs. "They wanted a Christian service?"

"Oh, hell no! Inuyasha would haunt me forever if I did that. He was a devout atheist. I just picked them because I know the owner's nephew. They've been very helpful."

Sesshoumaru groaned inwardly at the thought of what his father would say when he learned where the funeral service would be. He couldn't wait for this all to be over so he could go to his office and get back to work. "Thank you for calling, Kagome. We will see—"

"Wait, there's something else," she interrupted. "Rin has never met you all, and I was thinking…perhaps her parents' funeral isn't the best place for introductions. Can we get together tomorrow, just so Rin can meet you in a more relaxed setting?"

He hadn't even considered the awkwardness of the first meeting. "I think that can be arranged," he said evenly. "Did you have something in mind?"

"How about Memorial Park around, oh, noon? It's within walking distance of our apartment. There's a nice playground, and Rin likes it."

"Fine. We will be there at noon tomorrow." He hung up. His father looked at the name and street written on the paper.

"South Washington! If she thinks I will go downtown and risk getting mugged at my own son's funeral—"

"Father, no one's getting mugged," Sesshoumaru said impatiently. "It's all arranged. She suggested getting together tomorrow, so the child could meet you before the service."

"She probably wants money," Ken Taisho said. "Your mother will be happy to finally meet her granddaughter, though. And where is this going to take place?"

"Memorial Park, at noon."

"Memorial Park? Isn't that where all the car-jackings were last year?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "I'm going to the gym to work out. Don't worry about dinner." He left.

Sesshoumaru admired his father a great deal, or at least, he had at one time. His father had taken a few properties he was able to purchase forty-five years earlier and turned it into a real estate empire, owning large portions of the city. He was well respected, sat on many boards of directors, and had a talent for investing. He was also unreasonable, argumentative, stubborn, and unable to admit when he was wrong. It had only gotten worse since he had been forced into semi-retirement, following a heart attack years before. Sesshoumaru had just finished graduate school and had no intentions of moving back to the place of his birth, but his father needed him to take over the business. Now he worked eighty hours a week and avoided the cantankerous old man when he could. Just a couple days, then things will be back to normal, he told himself.

XxXxX

Kagome put on a New Pornographers CD and flopped on the couch. "That wasn't bad at all. I thought she'd want a story-reading marathon, but she fell asleep fast. I guess it was a big day. Miroku, be a pet and make me a drink."

"What's your poison?" he asked.

Kagome tried to picture what juices and mixers were in the fridge. "If we have cranberry juice and grapefruit juice, make me a Sea Breeze. If there's no grapefruit juice, but pineapple juice, make me a Bay Breeze. If there's grapefruit juice, but no cranberry juice, make me a Greyhound. If there's no cranberry juice and no grapefruit juice…make me a Tanqueray and Tonic."

He tried to remember the pecking order. "What if there's no vodka?"

"We always have vodka."

"Oh, Cabana Boy," Sango called out, before Miroku left the room, "I'll take a gin and tonic. Extra lime!"

The women smiled at each other. "So nice to have good help, isn't it?" Sango giggled.

"And such a cutie! Maybe we should make him serve us in his underwear."

"Do you have any idea how much he'd love that?" she said seriously.

"Sango dear, I hope you appreciate what a darling little pervert of a husband you have."

"If by appreciate, you mean painfully aware…sometimes I don't know if I'm married to a frat boy or a dirty old man."

"Oh, he's definitely more of the old-man-variety pervert."

Miroku brought in the drinks and kissed Sango. "I'm going home. I've got a full day of work, and the cats are probably climbing the walls. See you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll be home before long. Bank and Jak are on their way; I'll hitch a ride with them on the way out."

Miroku hugged Kagome. "I'll file the petition for guardianship tomorrow. Let me know if there's anything else."

"Thanks, you don't know how much your help means," Kagome said, starting to choke up again.

"Kagome, stop that. I'm happy to be useful."

Once he had gone, Kagome looked at Sango gratefully. "Thanks for coming last night and staying all day. I really think I'll be alright."

"You will be," she assured.

"Sango, something's on my mind. I know it's inevitable that Rin and I will have to move. I won't be able to afford a place this big. Hell it's going to be a gigantic cluster fuck trying to find an apartment that will take a dog, so anyway, I'll probably just rent a storage unit for Kikyou and Yasha's stuff, until I have the fortitude to go through it and decide what to keep. But…what should I do with their sex toys?"

Sango gaped at her. "I have no earthly idea. I…never even thought of that."

"The toys were an important part of their life. All that bondage shit, the nipple clamps…the whips… the cock rings…the hand cuffs…the leather…oh and don't forget the strap-on. God, they had some really nice dildos. I plan on confiscating the lube, but all the other stuff…I don't want to throw it away. It just seems kinda sacrilegious, not to mention, hardly any of its biodegradable."

Two men suddenly entered the room. They were both incredibly good looking, one very effeminate. "We let ourselves in," one said. "Did I hear someone say 'really nice dildos'?" asked the other.

Kagome rose and hugged the taller of the two. "Bank, thanks for coming."

"How you holding up hon?" Bank asked.

"I'm doing okay, I think," Kagome said honestly. Kagome embraced the other, more feminine man. "Jak," she said fondly.

"Kags, I'm so sorry. Poor Kikyou. And I can't believe Inuyasha had to go and die before I could convince him he's really gay and in love with me." He saw Sango. "Speaking of straight boys I wish weren't…where's your better half, Sango."

"You just missed him, Jak," she muttered dryly. Sango often thought Jak went too far.

"Damn. Now what's this about dildos?"

"Have a seat."

Bank went to the kitchen and came back with two beers.

"I was just telling Sango my concerns regarding proper disposal of sex toys."

"Ooo Kikyou Higurashi's sex toys. You could probably make assloads of money selling them on eBay," Jak pointed out naughtily.

Kagome scowled. "I will never be that fucking desperate for money. Seriously. They were very personal and intimately connected to them. Think of all the sexual energy in them. I was saying I don't want to just throw them away. It seems impersonal and not very environmentally responsible."

Jak burst into derisive laughter. "Are you fucking joking? Environmentally responsible?"

Kagome took offense. "Dude, don't make fun. There is a burgeoning industry out there making socially-conscious sex toys."

Jak turned merry. "You are _shitting_ me! Like…free-range silicon or something?" He fell to the floor laughing. "You fucking tree-huggers will buy _anything_!"

"I swear Jak, if you wake up Rin I'm gonna toast your ass." Kagome looked at Bank, who merely seemed amused at the antics of his flamboyant boyfriend. "Bank, what should I do? I was thinking about throwing them in the casket before they get cremated, but I'm worried about all the chemicals released into the atmosphere."

Bank looked thoughtful. "If it's any comfort Kagome, the factories down in the slums probably spew out a million times whatever emissions would come out of a few dildos. There are companies though, that you can send used sex toys to; they strip the toys of reusable parts, then send the dangerous stuff to facilities that can handle hazardous waste."

Kagome was perplexed. "I think I might just burn them. I hope the undertaker won't notice when I throw a huge plastic garbage bag in the casket. Which one should I put it in?"

"Kikyou's," all three friends said at once.

"Maybe let Inuyasha have the strap-on," Jak said. "Tell me more about these 'green' sex toys."

"Some are made of Pyrex glass, so they don't have PVCs and shit. And they can be boiled so they're cleaner. I've got one. It's really pretty actually. It doesn't vibrate on its own, so I use it with the Silver Bullet."

"Hmm, it doesn't sound very flexible. Do they make glass butt plugs?"

"Yes, and you can get them with nubs and ridges," Kagome said playfully.

Jak looked shocked. "How is it that I don't know about this?" He glanced sidelong at Bank. "Wanna play credit card online tonight, lover?"

"How did the call to the Taisho's go?" Sango asked Kagome, changing the subject.

"It was okay. We are meeting tomorrow at the park. I thought Rin should really see them before the funeral."

"Good idea." Sango asked the question that had been on the minds of both women. "What do you think Sesshoumaru looks like lately?"

Kagome sighed. "I get kinda puddly just thinking about the possibilities."

"Sesshoumaru…I always forget they were brothers," Bank said.

Jak spoke up. "Wait a minute. Inuyasha had a brother? Please tell me he's gay!"

"Sorry Jak, most certainly not gay. He dates supermodels and trust-fund princesses," Sango informed him.

"Well, what does he look like?" Jak prompted.

"Oh…like Sex on a Silver Platter. You'll fucking die when you see him, Jak. Which will happen at the funeral, so mind your goddam manners." Kagome warned.

"But whaht dooes hee loook liike?" Jak chanted, barely controlling himself.

"You know how Inuyasha had that crazy, gorgeous coloring? Well…okay, I thought Yasha was a doll, but he definitely got the short end of the stick genetically. Sesshoumaru, and I have to admit I haven't seen him since Rin was two weeks old, is taller, broader…"

"Beautiful enough to make you blush, but very male looking," continued Sango.

"His eyes…Yasha's color, but his are more exotic."

Sango and Kagome looked at each other. "Cheekbones," they both sighed, melting.

Jak looked intrigued. "What else?"

Bank took over the narrative. "He's a genius business man. Old man Taisho owns tons of property, but when Sesshoumaru took the reins, he turned it into something else entirely. You know all the development and revitalization going on downtown? Sesshoumaru. And the new sports arena they want to build? Also Sesshoumaru Taisho. He has been on the Top Thirty Under Thirty list put out by the Chamber of Commerce so many times they had to change it to the Top Forty Under Forty a few years ago, when he wasn't in his twenties any longer. He's completely powerful, but behind the scenes. The fucking mayor answers to him." Bank finished his beer. "I think it is time to go home. Sango, did you mention on the phone you'd like a ride?"

"Please. Kagome, call if you need anything. I have a couple clients tomorrow morning, but if you want to meet for lunch, let me know."

"I'm meeting the Taisho's at noon, so no, but I'll let you know how it went. Thanks for everything." They hugged and kissed. Sango left with the two men.

Kagome was alone again. She let the dog out, then got ready for bed. Rin wanted to sleep in her parents' bed, and Kagome thought it'd be best if she slept there too. At least for now.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, neither characters nor plots. I also have no claim to the names Krispy Kreme, Valium, New Pornographers, Tanqueray, eBay, Silver Bullet, or Pyrex. _


	3. Mementos and Musicals

When Rin woke up the next morning, she was confused to find herself alone. She frequently climbed into her parents' bed in the middle of the night, but on waking, her father, who preferred to stay in bed until noon if allowed, was almost always lying next to her. It was her favorite cuddle time. Kikyou was an early riser, meaning she had Inuyasha's attention and affection all to herself. "Daddy?" she called. No answer. "Daddy!" Oberon trotted into the room, leaped on the bed, and licked her face in greeting, all the while wagging vigorously. He lay down next to her with a heavy sigh, and then she remembered. Her sore throat came back, and her eyes were watery. She put her arms around the big dog's neck and sobbed into his fur. Rin heard her aunt come into the room and felt the bed shift as she sat down.

"Hey, honey." Kagome stroked Rin's head. "Poor dog. I already used him as a pillow to cry on this morning. At this rate he'll never dry out." Rin sat up and smiled weakly. Kagome put her arms around her niece. "But that's what Irish Wolfhounds are best at. The first one I had, I cried on him every day for months, but he never seemed to mind."

Rin sniffled. "What was his name?"

"Guinness. He looked a lot like Oberon, but he was old as the hills and very grizzled. That means he had a lot of gray hair."

"Why did you cry so much? Did someone else die?"

Kagome was quiet for a minute, and Rin knew she was remembering old sadness. "No, honey, someone just wanted to die. But she got better." She tilted the girl's face to look at her. "Okay? So if you feel crying, do it. A lot of the time, you feel at least a little bit better after. I know the value of a good crying session."

Rin was well aware of this. Kagome cried all the time. More than any adult she knew. But Kagome cried for many reasons, not just sadness. She cried when she felt sentimental, listened to beautiful music, saw certain things, and was happy. Rin didn't really understand happy crying.

Rin was able, though she didn't comprehend how or why, to sense what other people were feeling. Sometimes she could just tell if they were glad or upset, sometimes she knew if someone was lying. Her mother had been difficult to read; she had almost always projected a feeling of calm control, though Rin knew there was a lot more going on underneath. Her father had been fairly uncomplicated; though he was usually cheerful, lots of things made him angry, and she perceived that there was sadness he pushed down. Kagome, on the other hand, didn't bury anything. She thought her aunt's emotions were like a kaleidoscope. Bright and colorful and always changing. Kagome was quick to rage and sorrow, but she turned happy again easily.

"What would you like for breakfast this morning?" Kagome asked when the girl had finished wiping her eyes. "Or let me rephrase that, what kind of cereal would you like for breakfast?"

"Aren't there more donuts?" Rin asked optimistically.

"There's one, but let's save it for after lunch."

Rin knew which battles to choose and nutrition was not one of them. Her aunt was not as bad a, as her father had liked to say, 'Food Fascist' or 'Nutrition Nazi' as her mother, but Kagome was close. "Cheerios," she said with resignation.

As Rin ate, Kagome poured herself a cup of coffee. "So…sweetie…are you excited to meet your grandparents?"

"Uh huh. What are they like?" She knew her father had living parents, but he never talked about them.

"Honey, I've never met them. I'm sure they are very curious about you though."

"What about my uncle? What's his name again?"

"His name is Sesshoumaru."

"What kinda name is _that_?" Rin went to school with a Nehemiah, an Atticus, a Kieran, a Ramsi, and a Shippou, names she found somewhat strange. But not like this; she wasn't even sure she could pronounce her uncle's name.

"It's an unusual name, but so is Inuyasha. As far as what he's like…I've only met him twice. Once, when your Mommy and Daddy got married, and then when you were a baby, at your Welcoming Ceremony. He looks like…your Daddy's brother." Kagome decided the description of 'Sex on a Silver Platter' would not be suitable.

"My eyes?"

"Your eyes." Kagome nodded with a smile. "Pretty, golden eyes. We are meeting them at the park at noon, so around eleven we'll have lunch and change into nice clothes and brush and braid your hair and make sure your nails are clean and…anyway, I want to make a good impression. So we'll get all ready after lunch. Until then, I've got a couple phone calls to make, but we have a job to do." Kagome took a deep breath, hoping she was doing the right thing. "We have to decide, together, what we want to go into the coffins before they get cremated. What we want them to wear, what favorite things they would want to take with them. Okay? But Rin, if you don't want to, tell me. You don't have to do this if it makes you too sad or uncomfortable."

"I want to help. Are they really going into a fiery furnace?"

"Well, yeah," Kagome admitted. "But it won't hurt."

Rin made a 'duh' face. "They're dead, Kagome. I'm not a baby, you know. I'm almost five."

Kagome had to laugh. "No, dear, you are definitely not a baby. Nor are you almost five. You'll be almost five in five and a half months."

Rin rolled her eyes. Grown-ups did not understand half years at all.

"Alright dolly, let's get dressed."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru Taisho helped his mother out of the car, relieved at the improvement in her wellbeing since yesterday afternoon, when he had related to her his conversation with Kagome. As soon as she had learned there was a meeting with the child scheduled, she had gotten out of bed, opened the curtains, put away the Xanax, and eaten some food. This morning she chatted animatedly, only occasionally weeping over Inuyasha, asking Sesshoumaru questions he was unable to answer. He had no idea, of course, what Rin's favorite foods and colors were, whether she liked horses, which room they should redecorate for her bedroom, or if she had begun Junior Cotillion classes, though he had strong suspicions that, given the girl's young age and the fact that Inuyasha thought etiquette training was as worthless a waste of time as watching paint dry, the response to the last point was a resounding 'no.'

"This Higurashi woman better not be late! Does she not realize what kind of place this is?" Ken Taisho nervously eyed the old men with brown paper bags on the bench and the youths playing basketball.

Sesshoumaru was tired of his father's paranoid irritability; he had been listening to him grouse all morning and was getting a headache. "I'm sure she knows exactly what kind of park this is. They live in the neighborhood."

Memorial Park, full of stately oaks and catalpa trees, was the city's oldest park. It was situated in an old neighborhood, full of dilapidated Victorian houses, which had recently begun to experience a noticeable amount of renovation and revitalization, the first steps to restoring some of its architectural splendor and habitability.

Sesshoumaru kept careful track of the increasing housing values in this neighborhood, since it was the closest to the downtown, where he had devoted much effort toward the development of businesses, nightlife, and culture. Four new high-rise office towers had been constructed; the Arts Center had gotten a new venue, a renovated historic theater; three new four-and-five-star hotels had been built; scores of upscale restaurants, bars, and clubs had opened; dozens of luxury condominiums had gone up; and countless storefronts, many with historic preservation status, had been turned into office space, housing lawyers, doctors, and businesses. There was an excitement about the economic boost downtown, property values were skyrocketing, and he was responsible for all of it. When his father had his heart attack, Sesshoumaru moved back and transformed Taisho, Inc. from a real estate company dealing primarily with office park construction in the suburbs, to the driving force behind rebirth of the downtown business model, improved skyline, and the halt and reversal of urban blight.

But his latest venture was the new sports arena. It would be a huge multi-use facility, accommodating the city's professional basketball team and the university's men's and women's basketball teams, attracting regional and tournament games and championships, stadium concerts, and conventions. It was the culmination of his work. Unfortunately it had a one-hundred-ten million dollar price tag, one that would have to be financed to a large extent by an increase in certain municipal taxes. It was his ill-luck, however, that the local politicians didn't have the balls to approve the tax and instead were passing the responsibility to the voters in the form of a special referendum. The vote would take place early next year, and, much to his continued displeasure, his position lately was as chief lobbyist. Though he had continued working at home via laptop the past two days, he couldn't wait to get back to the office, preferably going straight from the funeral.

"Sesshoumaru," his mother said, "you've met Kagome Higurashi before. What is she like?"

"Mother, it's been over four years, and I barely spoke to her. Inuyasha thought highly of her, though I'll leave you to judge whether that is a recommendation of the woman."

"Your father seems to believe she is just after our money. Did she strike you as that sort?"

"Honestly, no," Sesshoumaru replied. "I doubt very much she is thinking of anything other than the child's best interest."

Ken Taisho heard what his son said and scoffed.

"I'm glad to hear that," Rose Taisho said with relief. "I'm sure if she only has the child in mind, she'll understand how much better off the girl would be living with us. It will be so much easier if she doesn't try to fight us for custody."

Wishful thinking, Sesshoumaru sighed to himself. But, he decided, it's not my business. If his parents wanted the child that was up to them. It had nothing to do with him, and he planned on staying completely out of the disagreeable matter.

"Well, where the devil is she?" complained his father. "It's almost noon."

Sesshoumaru angrily looked at his watch. "Father, if you could postpone your diatribe for nine minutes...it's only eleven fifty-two. She's not late yet."

XxXxX

"Okay Rin Rin. In Daddy's coffin we'll put a picture of you and Mommy, a picture of me and you and Mommy, the coffee mug you painted for him, a bottle of bourbon, a copy of _The Tao of Pooh_, his favorite werewolf mask, and a deck of cards. Mommy will get a picture of you and Daddy, her Swiss Army knife, a copy of _P__rincess Mononoke_, a copy of _Diet for a Small Planet (Twentieth Anniversary Edition)_, her yoga mat, and…that's it."

Rin frowned. "Kah-go-me! You're cheating," the girl accused. "I said Mommy would want her _Fruits Basket_ plushies, and you said—"

"I know what I said, but I can't do it!" Kagome started tearing up. "I can't throw them in! Look at how _cute_ they are!"

"But…how 'bout we pick one?" Rin tried diplomatically.

"One?" Kagome scanned the pile, unable to choose between stuffed cats, rats, dogs, rabbits, the cute human forms, the even cuter human forms in animal costumes, and smiling rice balls. "I can't!" she cried.

"Yuki was Mommy's favorite," prompted Rin.

"But…he's too cute."

"And she said Kyo reminded her of Daddy."

Kagome started to panic. "I can't honey. If Yuki and Kyo go in, Tohru would have to go to keep the peace. And Momiji would want to be included. And Shigure would be lonely. Ican'tIcan'tICAN'T!"

Rin wouldn't budge; Kagome was disturbed at the mercilessness of kids. Then she remembered they were on a timetable. She looked at the time on her cell phone. "Holy shit! It's eleven fifty-three! We have to be there in seven minutes!" She looked at Rin. The girl had messy hair, the crazy cowlick on the top of her head standing straight up, and was wearing a wrinkled orange and white checkered sundress. I could fix her up or be late, Kagome realized. Deciding that Rin's innate cuteness would carry the moment, punctuality was more important. "Let's get to the park!"

Oberon, lying nearby, heard Kagome say 'park.' He calmly got up and went to the hook on which his leash hung, then started to whine and do his little going-for-a-walk dance, widely interpreted to mean 'I'm gonna get a squirrel for sure.'

"Sorry, Obi, not this time," Kagome apologized, as they breezed past him, grabbing the nearest footwear, running down the steps.

"Kagome, did you say the S-word?" Rin asked as they sprinted down the street, pulling on rain boots.

"Me? Never. I said…shirt."

Holy shirt? Rin knew without even trying that Kagome was lying.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru checked the time again. Two minutes after twelve. His father was brewing in self-righteousness.

"Hey! We're here!" a female voice called from behind them. The three Taisho's turned and saw Kagome and Rin running toward them. "I hope we're not too late. We were busy, and I lost track of time." Kagome extended her hand to Ken Taisho. "Hi! You must be Mr. Taisho. We've never met. I'm Kagome." Ken took her hand briefly. "Mrs. Taisho." Kagome originally thought of giving Inuyasha's mother a comforting hug, but she realized she was kind of sweaty from running and half-carrying Rin the three blocks from their apartment. They shook hands. "Sesshoumaru. Hi, it's been awhile," Kagome smiled, still somewhat out of breath.

Sesshoumaru saw that Kagome had changed little in four years. She was tall and slender with a pretty, if unremarkable, face. The only thing different was her hair, which had been short and colored purple on the ends. Now her hair was long and, he noticed, unkempt. In fact everything about her appearance suggested lack of adequate preparation. She was wearing bright yellow rubber boots, paint-splattered cut-offs, and a faded grey t-shirt with black letters that read 'I taught your boyfriend that thing you like.' Obviously a woman of quality, he cynically thought with disgust.

"Rin, come and meet your family," Kagome said gently to the small dark head peeking around her leg. The little girl shyly appeared from behind her aunt. She was an attractive child, with long, uncombed hair and untidy clothes, but she at least seemed clean, Sesshoumaru observed.

Rose Taisho knelt down in front of the girl and took her hands. "You must be Rin Taisho. I'm very pleased to meet you."

Rin looked up at Kagome with a question on her face. "Um, Rin's last name is Higurashi-Taisho. With a hyphen," Kagome said guiltily. She knew she had nothing about which to feel guilty, but the two older people clearly disapproved of Rin's surname. Inuyasha's parents, she noticed, were dressed in simple, expensive-looking, black clothes. His father was tall, white-haired, with a handsome, heavily-lined face. His mother, Kagome thought, was the most fragile creature she'd ever seen. She was small of stature, had black hair, streaked white at the temples, and a face beautiful like a delicate flower. Kagome was suddenly painfully aware of her clothing, flushed sweatiness, and dishevled hair. Good god, someone fucking _kill _me, she prayed. "Rin, this is your grandmother."

"Hi?" Rin had frequently been around adults and generally felt comfortable with them. She was, however, unsure about how to behave around the elderly.

"And this is your grandfather," Kagome continued. Rin thought the old man looked crabby, but she suspected he was a softie underneath. "And this is your uncle, Sesshoumaru."

"Hello, Rin."

Rin looked up at the much taller man. He had long hair like her Daddy's, but her uncle's was even longer. He looked strong, and Rin realized with delight her days of riding around on the shoulders of an adult were actually not over, as previously thought. Kagome gave her piggy-back rides, but refused to let the girl on her shoulders, saying it freaked her to be so top heavy. Then she saw his eyes. They _were _the same as hers. Her face broke into an enormous smile. It was love at first sight.

Kagome watched closely. The child's smitten, she noted. Inuyasha would have been extremely annoyed.

"Rin," her grandmother said, "tell me something about yourself."

"I have a loose tooth. It's my first one." She demonstrated by wiggling one of her middle bottom teeth. "Can you push me on the swing?"

"I haven't pushed a child on a swing in many years, but I think I can remember how with your help," Rose Taisho responded. Rin smiled wide, took her grandparents by their hands, and led them in the direction of the playground, leaving Kagome and Sesshoumaru alone.

Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru out of the corner of her eye. Tailored black linen pants and grey lawn shirt showed off the strength and grace of his broad shoulders, tapering to narrow hips. His silvery white hair extended past mid back, and Kagome wondered if it felt as silky as it looked. She tried to act natural as her glance strayed up to his face. His sinfully gorgeous face. Goddam, he should be illegal, Kagome brooded as she reminded herself not to drool. "So…Rin seems okay. She's a pretty friendly kid. Sorry again for the lateness. I hope you weren't waiting too long. We were going through Kikyou and Inuyasha's stuff, trying to decide what to put in the coffins. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. So many of their prized possessions I really felt I should save for Rin for when she's older. Like their wedding bands, for example. And Inuyasha's favorite baseball cap. And my sister's favorite shoes. Well, okay, truthfully those would be for me…but you get the picture. Anyway we spent the morning reminiscing and laughing and crying, and the time flew way faster than I thought it would." Fuck! I'm babbling, Kagome thought, shut up idiot! "If you want to go through any of it for some keepsakes, let me know. I'm putting it all in a storage shed, but I can give you the key whenever you want."

Sesshoumaru stared at her dispassionately. "Thank you for your consideration. I have no interest, but perhaps my mother would."

"Oh, another thing. The service. I've asked our friend Miroku to deliver the eulogy. I don't know if you remember him; he was at Rin's baby welcoming and the wedding. He's married to Sango." Kagome paused for a hint that he was listening to her. "You met Sango at the wedding…she was the maid of honor." Still nothing. "Anyway," she decided to forge ahead despite Sesshoumaru's lack of response, "the service tomorrow will be short and informal, one reading, one song. But if there is any reading that you all would like included, tell me. I'm having a bitch of a time figuring out the song, but—"

"I'm sure whatever you've picked out will be sufficient. But thank you again for thinking of us."

Silence. Kagome became more and more uncomfortable. Was he deliberately trying to bother her? She wasn't necessarily the type of person who was addicted to the sound of her own voice, but she definitely had a tendency to talk. At this point in time it could be described as a bad habit. "So anyway…isn't this park great? I hope I can find a new place to rent in this neighborhood. I hate fucking moving more than anything…okay maybe not more than looking for a job, but there's no way in hell I can afford the rent on my own. I got pretty spoiled living with two other people the last several years. With my line of work, the financial thing is fairly sporadic, and it was always nice being able to count on Kikyou and Yasha when I was in between jobs. I can always go back to teaching classes at the fabric store if money gets too tight. Or god forfuckingbid go back to doing custom wedding dresses." Kagome! Close your damn mouth! "At least Kikyou already paid next year's tuition at Rin's preschool. That's five thousand dollars I don't have to pull out of my ass." Shut the _hell _up! "But I'm sure we'll get by. I've gotten some choice commissions recently. I just wish art was more lucrative, although the fact that I quit my day job years ago shows I'm doing something right. This summer will be tough, with Rin out of school. There's a day camp at her preschool, but it's only for a few weeks. I guess I just need to reorganize my whole way of doing things. I sure as shit can't set my own hours anymore. But I guess it could be worse. I could have a real job." She finally put the brakes on the runaway train that was her mouth and looked at Sesshoumaru.

He was astounded. No one had said so much that interested him so little in a long time. Probably since the last time he spoke with his brother. He didn't want to say anything for fear of encouraging her to start talking again.

"Should we go over to the playground? I want to make sure Rin isn't too much for your parents to handle. She's pretty energetic."

They walked to the playground in time to see Rin, swinging high, call out "Watch this!" and jump. She landed heavily and didn't move. Rose Taisho shrieked, and she and her husband ran toward the child.

"Oh shit!" Kagome cursed. She and Sesshoumaru started to run. "It's okay! She's not hurt!" she called out.

Sesshoumaru reached the motionless little body first, followed closely by Kagome, then the elder Taishos.

"Rin likes to pretend she's dead. She and Inuyasha did this all the time. It drove my sister up a tree," Kagome explained to the worried adults. "Okay, honey, stop faking. It's only funny to people who are in on the joke." The worry on the Taisho faces turned to anger and disapproval.

Rin sat up, profoundly perplexed. Her aunt never gave her away. "Kagome! You spoiled it!" the girl complained.

Fuck, now everyone's mad at me, and I didn't even do anything, Kagome reflected on the unfairness. "Sweetheart, I know you and Daddy thought playing possum was great fun, but for others it's kinda scary. Why don't you say sorry for shortening your uncle's and grandparents' lives."

Rin realized Kagome was a little mad, and the Taishos were worried and a little mad. "I'm sorry. I'm okay." She decided to test the waters and determine how far a bit of charm would take her. She smiled sweetly and asked, "Will you take me out for ice cream?"

"Ah, Rin you haven't had lunch yet. There will be plenty of opportunities for your grandparents to shower you with your favorite dairy products later. I should get you home and feed you."

Rin couldn't believe this was happening. Kagome thwarted her two times in a row? Was her aunt turning into her mother? "But…Uncle Sesshoumaru hasn't even played with me yet!"

Kagome sensed a hunger-induced temper tantrum right around the corner. "There will be plenty of opportunities for that too. But right now, honey, we need to say goodbye."

"Rin, your aunt is correct," Sesshoumaru cut off his parents' contradiction. He needed to make some phone calls and check email. "I'll play with you another time. We should be going now too."

Kagome sighed gratefully that Sesshoumaru was, at least for now, an ally. "Well, we will see you tomorrow at the service. Thanks for getting together with us."

Farewells were exchanged, and Rin demanded a piggy-back ride home.

"So, honey, what did you think of them?" Kagome asked as she walked down Third Street.

"They want me to like them. But they're sad about Daddy. I think I like them. They said they would take me to swim in the ocean."

Kagome knew Inuyasha's parents owned a condo in Florida. "We'll see. What about Sesshoumaru?"

"I like him. He's a little sad too though."

"He has feelings? Are you sure he's not a robot?" Kagome asked, only half joking.

"That's silly, Kagome. He doesn't even look like a robot."

Kagome laughed. "And what does a robot look like?"

Rin thought for a moment. "Not like _him_," she replied simply.

Kagome had to agree.

XxXxX

Sango and Kagome sat in the living room sipping Cosmopolitans. Rin was asleep. Miroku had gotten the legal ball rolling. Kikyou and Inuyasha's clothes and favorite things had been taken to the funeral home. All was right in the world.

"So…how'd today go?" Drink in her hand notwithstanding, Sango straddled the role of therapist and friend effortlessly. She listened well, gave comfort, and pointed out bullshit in equal measure.

"Good. Really good," Kagome answered. "Isaiah came home early, so Rin went downstairs, and I was able to run with the dog. It's amazing what exercise can do to give perspective. I have barely cried at all since my shower." Kagome set her drink down. "I think the meeting with the Taishos went well. We weren't too late, and Rin was cute as shit. Well, until she pulled the playing dead thing. I still can't believe she did that. Oh, and I couldn't seem to keep from babbling to Sesshoumaru. He probably thinks I'm insane. But it was all good. I know Inuyasha wanted to reconcile with his parents, and they're Rin's family. She has a right to get to know them. The more family she has the better."

"And Sesshoumaru…" Sango hinted. She had seen the man exactly twice in person and still thought he was unrivaled in the looks, presence, and general tastiness department.

Kagome groaned. "Let's just say…he's aging well. He's what thirty two? Still looks like a god. Fuck, Sango. It's not right…he's hotter than the sun, but it's all wasted."

"Huh?" He couldn't possibly be gay, Sango pondered.

"All that male…yummy…dreaminess, wasted. He's got zero personality. There are cadavers with more charisma. Though I can predict with reasonable certainty who'll be on my mind when I masturbate tonight."

"He's probably just guarded. Loss makes people very careful." Sango ignored the masturbation remark. She was all for self-love, but wished Kagome would start dating again.

"Yeahyeah. Loss shmoss. He's as cold and distant as Inuyasha said he is." She sipped her drink. "And I still don't know what song to have Latrisha sing tomorrow. Yasha would want something ironic; Kikyou would want something spiritual. What the hell song is appropriate? It has to be something Trisha already knows or can learn in a few hours."

Sango contemplated Kagome's dilemma. "Ironic, yet spiritual. That's a problem."

"Yeah, no shit." Then it came to her. She sang it as a lullaby to Rin that night. "Sango…you know in _Jesus Christ Superstar_, Mary Magdalen's song _Everything's Alright_?

"It's been ages…remind me."

Kagome, in her beautiful, soprano voice began singing.

_Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to  
Problems that upset you, oh.  
Don't you know  
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.  
And we want you to sleep well tonight.  
Let the world turn without you tonight.  
If we try, we'll get by, so forget all about us tonight. _

_Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you.  
Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.  
Then you'll feel  
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.  
And it's cool, and the ointment's sweet  
For the fire in your head and feet.  
Close your eyes, close your eyes  
And relax, think of nothing tonight_.

The two women looked at each other after Kagome finished. "It's just the Mary Magdalen part. Judas and Jesus have a musical exchange in it, but I always leave that out when I sing it to Rin."

"I think it's perfect," Sango said, eyes teary. "I think they would both approve. Kikyou would love it; it's a beautiful song. And Inuyasha would definitely appreciate the irony. _Jesus Christ Superstar_ at his funeral. Miroku's gonna shit himself laughing when I tell him. Why don't _you_ sing it?"

"I wouldn't be able to make it past the first word without breaking down. Fuck. Tomorrow's gonna be rough."

XxXxX

Ken Taisho was on the phone, with his wife listening in carefully.

"Kagura, did you file the petition for guardianship today?" Rose Taisho sat on pins and needles, only able to hear one end of the conversation. "Is your brother back in jail yet?" He was silent as the woman at the other end replied. "Good. Tell Naraku to dig up as much dirt as he can on Kagome Higurashi. I got the general impression today at the park that she probably has several weaknesses to exploit. The woman's not fit to raise a child. The sooner we can get the poor girl under our roof the better." He hung up.

Rose Taisho was enamored with her granddaughter. She had always wanted a girl in addition to her two sons, but a miscarriage and depression ensured, at least for a time, that was not to be. Now she had her chance though. If she could have Rin come live with them, she could undo all the wrong she had been party to. She could erase all the hurt and betrayal and anger that made up the childhoods of Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. She would have a blank slate to love, and this time she would not let her husband call the shots. She was stronger now. She would make it all up to Inuyasha, all the guilt, all the illness, and raise his daughter with the love she wished she could have given her sons. She didn't want Kagome Higurashi to be a casualty and didn't approve dragging the woman's name through the mud, but if that's what it took, so be it.

&&&

_Thanks for reading. I do not own Inuyasha, neither characters, nor plots. I also have no claim to Cheerios, Xanax, The Tao of Pooh, Swiss Army, Princess Mononoke, Diet for a Small Planet (any edition), Fruits Basket, Jesus Christ Superstar, songs contained within, or the words on a t-shirt I saw last year referring to the reader's preferences and boyfriend's prowess and education._


	4. Bad News For People Who Love Good News

Kagome stifled a yawn as she poured herself some coffee. She tried to do the daily crossword online but, mind clouded from lack of sleep, couldn't concentrate and closed the lid on her laptop. Kikyou and Inuyasha's memorial service was later that morning, and she wished she could crawl into a hole and emerge a few days later, when the people who were least touched by the tragedy will have effortlessly gone back to their lives and forgotten about pitying her. She remembered her parents' funeral—the furtive, sneaking glances, quickly looking away; the side-show, rubber-necking perception of her and her sister's grief on display; the constant self-questioning of whether they were mourning correctly. She wished she could spare Rin all of it, at the same time knowing the little girl wouldn't experience the same. She and Kikyou had been seniors in high school when they lost their parents, on the cusp of the adult world, but not part of it, perhaps not at the peak of mistrust and rebellion, but the rawest angst of the teenage years was still fresh. Rin is only four, she told herself, and will need to be shielded from completely different things.

Kagome shook herself inwardly. She would put on her brave face for Rin. Her niece had no one else. The weight of the shifting responsibility pressed and pulled, suddenly suffocating. She babysat frequently and was almost a minor parent, certainly an occasional temporary one, a role at which she excelled. Kagome loved caring for Rin and was adept at feeding, clothing, bathing, and easing the child into sleep, but she always had the comfort that at the end of the night or the end of the weekend, Rin would go back to being Kikyou and Inuyasha's responsibility. They made the decisions, doled out the discipline, felt the loving burden of parenthood. She prayed she was capable of exchanging roles, becoming the instinctive parent, the confident parent.

Hell, at least it will keep me from staying drunk for the next month, she thought, after contemplating a Bloody Mary breakfast. She'd pulled many crazy stunts in her life, most hand-in-hand with Inuyasha, some she was proud of, some she wished for selective amnesia, but drunk at their memorial service was inexcusable, even for her.

"Kagome…" a sleepy little voice called from down the hall.

"In the kitchen, sweetie." Rin, clutching a plush raccoon, appeared in the doorway, on the verge of tears. "Com'ere honey," Kagome said gently as she reached out and pulled the girl into her lap, reminding herself to be strong, not to cry.

"Kagome," she sniffed, "I don't want to say goodbye today. Can we have the memorial service tomorrow instead?"

Don't cry don't cry. "Rin Rin…it's gotta be today. Talk to me honey."

Tears spilled from golden eyes and fell down round cheeks. "I don't wanna say goodbye. I don't want them to be gone."

"Oh god, honey," to hell with not crying she decided, "neither do I." She rocked the child in her lap as they both softly sobbed. "Rin," Kagome said, after a deep breath, "we will never stop saying goodbye. The only thing that will be different is that each day it will hurt a tiny bit less. I promise I will keep them alive for you. When you turn five, I will tell you what I remember from when Mommy and I turned five. When you go off to college, I will tell stories of what Daddy was like in college. I'll teach you how to drive like Daddy would have, and I'll teach you how to play guitar like Mommy would have." Kagome grabbed a couple tissues and held one in front of Rin's face so she could blow, then blew her own nose. "We are here for each other, okay? I'm just lucky that of all the people in the world to go through this crappy thing with, I have you," Kagome kissed the top of Rin's head and hugged her tightly, "you special, special girl."

Rin hugged back as hard as she could. It seemed like of all the adults in her life, Kagome almost always knew exactly what to say. She suddenly felt better. The swirly grey wisps that had been dancing around Kagome for the past two days no longer seemed to be closing in, and Rin knew that, though her aunt was still sad and anxious, she was calmer. Sitting on her lap, Rin felt protected, almost as much as she had with her father. Inuyasha used to throw her in the air, tossing her straight up higher and higher, sometimes only catching her right above the ground. She loved the delicious scariness of falling, but he always caught her; she never doubted. Despite her aunt's wild, unpredictable side, Rin trusted Kagome nearly that much. "I love you Kagome."

"I love you too, baby."

"I'm not a baby."

"Oh, I know."

"Did you make me a dress last night?"

The night before, as Rin looked on, Kagome had dug through her clothes looking for something to wear. She owned more black dresses than any ten women combined, but most of them were entirely inappropriate, whether backless, tight, practically see-through, short as sin, or beaded, most screamed 'Looking for mindless sex, with or without commitment' not 'Paying loving respect to my sister and brother'. Her grey and dark blue items, while slightly less obvious, were not demure enough in her eyes, and, though Kikyou was sure to have a dozen or more items close to what she pictured, the creepy-factor of wearing her sister's clothes to her own memorial service put them out of bounds. An existing piece would have to be altered.

As Kagome examined the possibilities, Rin thought of something. The girl went downstairs and came back up a few minutes later, reporting that all her dresses were colorful and cute, and if Kagome was going to wear black, could she pleaseprettyplease wear black too. Kagome had taken Rin's measurements for some summer frocks only two weeks earlier and had plenty of yardage of various black fabric. It would mean staying up half the night, but she knew the value of not standing out more than necessary at one's parents' funeral.

"I did, and it should fit fine."

Rin smiled at the prospect of wearing black, something she thought of as a very adult thing to do. "Can I try it on?"

"Breakfast first. Miroku and Sango will be here soon to pick us up, and I at least want to have you fed before then."

As Kagome poured some granola into a bowl, Rin asked, "Will my uncle be there today?"

"Yes, he should be. Why…did you like him?" Kagome teased.

Rin blushed lightly. "He's not like Daddy…but I think he's good. Does he like me?"

Kagome set the bowl on the table in front of her niece and tried to smooth down Rin's cowlick. "To know you is to love, darling. I'm sure even stony Sesshoumaru Taisho is not immune to your charms."

"Whaddaya mean stony?" Rin asked quizzically.

Kagome thought a second. "You know how you said 'he's not like Daddy'? Your dad was mostly cheerful, loud, funny. Daddy's brother isn't any of those things. That's what I mean."

Rin accepted the explanation. "I still think he's good, though."

Kagome watched as Rin ate her cereal and sighed with something as near to contentment as she'd felt in days. She may not be able to be the super-parent Kikyou was, but she would prove to everyone, especially herself, that Rin would survive and thrive under her care.

XxXxX

Thomas and Sons Funeral Home was packed with a sea of mourners, all good friends of Inuyasha and Kikyou. Kagome, wanting to keep the memorial service as private as possible, withheld the information from the published obituary. She had talked to some of Kikyou's band mates, and they were planning to have a show in the near future for fans to attend, but for the time being, she intended to shut out the public at large. The assembly included members of the local music and art scenes, friends of Inuyasha from the cult-movie fan group he founded, and friends of Kikyou from her graduate school years and the numerous organizations where she volunteered.

Sesshoumaru and his parents entered the main room right behind a group dressed up as zombies.

Rose Taisho clutched her son's arm. "Sesshoumaru, are you certain this is the correct location?" she asked, praying they were mistaken and could turn around and leave.

Ken Taisho felt the same, though he wanted to leave regardless if this was the right place or not. "Hn. It looks like a damn freak show."

Sesshoumaru surveyed the crowd. He recognized a few lawyers and a couple local businessmen, but, for the most part, the group of young, arty hipsters, many with visible tattoos and multiple piercings, only served as a gentle reminder that he and his brother inhabited two very different worlds. The zombies and Goths were as subtle a reminder as a slap to the face. Then he saw Kagome Higurashi across the room, greeting and hugging a woman with a Mohawk and a man with dreadlocks. "We're in the right place," he said blandly to his parents. He wondered at first if she was part of the zombies, she looked so pale, with dark circles under her eyes and slightly sunken cheeks. The pair conversing with her said something sympathetic, and she unsuccessfully fought back tears, looking incredibly vulnerable. She was wearing an elegant black silk dress and, coupled with her pallor, looked like Grief Personified. He glanced at his watch, wondering if the service would begin on time and if he would get any work done before his power lunch with the mayor.

"Oh…there she is, the precious, darling child," his mother declared upon spotting the girl standing next to Kagome. Rin suddenly looked up, as if she knew they were watching her. She spied Sesshoumaru and immediately broke into a huge grin. She tugged on Kagome's dress and pointed toward her other family members. Kagome followed Rin's gesture and met Sesshoumaru's gaze. She smiled, excused herself from the couple she with whom she was speaking, dried her eyes, and, holding Rin's hand, threaded her way through the throng to the Taishos, still standing near the door.

"It's good to see you again. I wish it were under better circumstances, but Inuyasha would be happy that you are here."

"Young lady," the elder Taisho said sternly, "what is the meaning of this…this spectacle?"

Kagome saw the zombies nearby and laughed self-consciously. "Oh...the _undead_," she said, trying to make it sound as natural an occurrence as possible. "Yeah. Inuyasha was the driving force behind the local zombie walk. They're just paying tribute to him."

Ken Taisho scoffed, "And you don't find it highly offensive?"

Kagome laughed again, painfully aware of the disapproval in his voice. "Actually Inuyasha would whole-heartedly approve. The Limp and Lurch Down Summit Avenue Annual Zombie Fest was his baby. He said his two main goals in life were to have another kid and to grow Limp and Lurch into North America's largest zombie walk." The Taishos looked at her blankly. "It's this thing…where people dress up as the living dead and have a parade. They take place all over the world. Locally, it goes down Summit. It's the first Saturday in October, and, weather permitting, it's followed by an outdoor screening of a zombie movie. Last year was the fourth year, and it was a huge success." They looked at her with disbelief. "Really, it's okay. Inuyasha would be in costume himself if he weren't already…" Kagome tried to stop the next word from forming, but her mouth clearly had a mind of its own, "…dead." She registered the shock and disgust on their faces before she closed her eyes and wished for a quick and painless death.

Rin chimed in. "The zombie walk is really fun. Last year I got the prize for the cutest zombie. And the year before that I won for the youngest zombie."

All eyes were now fixed on Rin, and Kagome silently thanked the child for perfect timing in deflecting attention from her ill-chosen words and mentally promised to let her niece eat dessert before dinner.

Rose Taisho bent down near her granddaughter. "Rin dear, how are you today?" she asked with concern.

"I'm okay. Kagome made my dress. See?" she asked as she spun around, enjoying the sensation of the skirt fluttering around her. The dress, with its empire waist, cap sleeves, and tulip skirt, was far more complicated than Kagome had originally intended and had taken hours of sewing late last night, but it was worth every minute to see Rin twirling happily.

"Aren't you adorable," Mrs. Taisho sighed, covetously watching the girl.

"It's black," Rin said proudly, coming to a stop, "but I didn't have any black shoes. Kagome said to wear these." Everyone looked at Rin's bubblegum pink clogs as she lifted a foot up. "She said it would be moronic."

"Ironic!" Kagome said quickly and a tad loudly. "The word is ironic, honey," again tittering nervously, feeling the heat of staring, hostile eyes and wondering what it was about these people that made her feel like such a dimwit. "Kids say the cutest shit don't they?" she giggled, immediately cringing at her regrettable diction.

"_Ka_gome! You said the S-word again. Mommy said it makes you sound like a redneck."

Kagome had a talent for obscenity and scatology usually found in sailors or long-haul truckers, and which manifested most often under stress. She bit back the urge to unleash her profane vocabulary in all its glory. Instead she merely slumped her shoulders and ripped apart the lacy handkerchief in her hands.

Sesshoumaru shook his head imperceptibly. For years his brother had referred to Kagome as his best friend, speaking of her warmth, wit, and intelligence. He recalled the first time they met, at Inuyasha's wedding. His parents, of course, had refused to attend; Inuyasha's marriage to Kikyou was the last battle in the war that was the relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Taisho and their younger son, causing them to disinherit him. Sesshoumaru thought his parents were being ridiculous, as marrying a woman with no social standing was hardly worse than anything else Inuyasha had ever pulled, and attended the wedding in spite of, or maybe because of, their objections. His first impression of Kagome Higurashi was of a young, cute, drunk airhead. His impression of her presently was that, even sober, she was an imbecile, and now he could add foul-mouthed to the list of attributes. Inuyasha, on the rare occasions the brothers spoke to each other, offered to set Sesshoumaru and Kagome up on a date. 'She really is an amazing person, dude. She'd thaw your cold ass out' he had said. Sesshoumaru never once considered the proposal; even though he didn't know the girl, she was hardly suitable for someone in his position. Looking at the awkward creature in front of him and remembering her foolish prattle at the park, he realized how correct his initial assessment of her was.

"Hi. You must be Inuyasha's parents."

Kagome turned and saw Sango approaching. Saved again. "Mr. and Mrs. Taisho, this is Sango Mori. She and her husband, Miroku, were close friends of Inuyasha and Kikyou. Sango was their Maid-of-Honor. Sesshoumaru, I don't know if you remember Sango from the wedding."

Sango smiled her comforting, therapist smile as she sympathetically shook their hands. "I am so very sorry for your loss. It is good finally to meet you both. Inuyasha and my husband were very close. Sesshoumaru, it's good to see you again." She put her arm around Kagome and gave her a little squeeze. "You doing okay?" Kagome nodded, feeling like crying again. "Miroku is getting ready to start the eulogy."

She sniffed. "Thanks, Sango. You're a doll. Rin, honey, go with Sango and take a seat in the front. I'll be right there." She turned to the Taishos. "I'd be honored if you were to come and sit with me and Rin. And afterward we are all regrouping at the Brownstone Inn. It's a bed and breakfast owned by a friend. It will be a casual lunch, and you are all certainly most welcome. It's on the corner of Fifth and Chestnut, right by Memorial Park."

"Thank you, Miss Higurashi," Ken Taisho began, "for the invitation, but we plan to leave as soon as the service is finished, and I think we would be more comfortable seated in the back."

Kagome felt mildly insulted. Their refusal to sit with her and Rin stung. It was not as if she particularly desired their company, but she thought the offer to sit as a family, especially for Rin's sake, was a gracious one. "Oh…okay. Well, I'll keep in touch. I know Rin would like to continue to see you. She's rather intrigued with the notion of hearing details of her Daddy's childhood. I'm glad she's getting a chance to finally become acquainted with you. It would make Inuyasha happy to know the bad blood is water under the bridge." She smiled softly and excused herself.

Walking to the front of the room, Kagome looked up and stopped short. There before her was a table, overflowing with all-white floral arrangements—star-gazer lilies, roses, jasmine sprays, and calla lilies. Jak was responsible for the flowers, and he outdid himself; the effect was ethereal. Kagome eyes watered, and she bit her lower lip to keep it from quivering. Surrounded by the white blooms was a large cremation urn that contained their combined ashes, and the black-and-white nude photo she had stared at two days ago. It hit her that all that was left physically of the two beautiful people in the picture was in that bronze vase. The reality of it all crashed down on her so forcefully she felt blindsided and couldn't move. She shook her head slowly and struggled to breathe, swaying with sudden faintness. Rooted to the spot, terrified, she began to break.

"Kagome, let me help you." Firm hands gripped her shoulders, and she looked up to see the identity of her rescuer. Bank.

She wept into his chest as he led her to a chair next to Sango. "They're really gone, Bank. I thought I was okay…I don't think I am," she whispered.

"You're doing great, sweetie. Here, sit."

Kagome, now openly crying, obeyed. Rin crawled onto her lap, and the rest of the room saw the small hand reach around her back, patting and rubbing soothing circles.

Sesshoumaru recognized the man who escorted Kagome to her seat; he was the owner of the inn she mentioned, an estate planner, and the president of the Memorial Park Neighborhood Association, with which Sesshoumaru frequently collaborated regarding revitalization issues. He didn't realize they knew each other, but they appeared close. He felt a twinge of guilt. He wasn't certain if his father had instructed Kagura to file a petition of guardianship yet, but he knew it was planned. It seemed wrong to split Kagome and Rin apart; there was obviously affection and familiarity between the two, and he seriously doubted his parents' ability to effectively care for a four-year-old. He pushed the guilt aside, reminding himself he was not involved and would not be dragged into it. The sooner he made it back to the office, where he could remain blissfully ignorant of the machinations of his family members, the better.

XxXxX

The Brownstone Inn was a located in a huge, immaculately restored Romanesque Revival building. It had eight guest rooms, a ballroom, a large dining room, and spacious grounds. It was the most successful bed and breakfast in the area, catering to the well-heeled traveler, and specializing in events, such as weddings and graduations. Most of the mourners who had been at the memorial service were there, munching on canapés and crab cakes and drinking heavily. The mood was considerably lighter than at the funeral home, all attendees fondling remembering their deceased friends.

"Well, I know Inuyasha never really liked me, but we seemed to have found some common ground over the years, so here's to Inuyasha!" Kouga lifted his beer bottle high in the air. Everyone followed and drank deeply. "To Yahsa!" they agreed.

"The reason he didn't like you was because Kikyou wanted to set us up on a blind date," Kagome reminisced happily. "Don't take it personally. He was a little protective of me back in those days."

"What made him change his mind?" Kouga asked seriously. "I always wondered."

"Do you remember the names he used to call you? That Stinkin' Hippie, Long-Haired Freak, Fuckin' Dead Head, Unbathed-Patchouli-Wearing—"

"Shit, Kagome!" Kouga interrupted. "I get the picture. Thanks for reminding me."

"Well anyway," Kagome continued, ignoring him, "Kikyou and I thought it was extremely hypocritical of him to make fun of you to your face, then smoke your pot. So we told him he had to be nice, or no more Kouga-Weed."

"So that was the catalyst? You threatened to cut him off?"

"Yeah, but by then we weren't going out at all, and I think he was starting to believe you were an okay guy, for a Fuckin' Flower Child," Kagome laughed, then came to her senses. "Shit, where's Rin? She better not have heard a word of this."

"She's outside playing with the other kids," Jak said. "And has anyone ever seen such an angelic child? When she patted your back, Kagome, I thought I was going to lose it. Well it was only a temporary reprieve. Did everyone hear me bawling during the eulogy? Miroku, you should be writing soap operas."

"Soap operas? I didn't think I was that maudlin," Miroku said, ego bruised slightly.

"It was a compliment, dumbass," Jak said dryly.

Kagome burst out laughing. "Jak thinks _All My Children_ and _One Life To Live_ are deserving of Pulitzers."

Jak stood in mock outrage. "Philistines, all of you," he accused, then added sweetly, "Does anyone need anything from the kitchen?" He rolled his eyes at the many requests.

"I'll help, Jak," Kagome said, getting up.

As Kagome opened a bottle of Chardonnay and Jak poured iced tea, he observed gently, "You seem a lot better now."

"I really am. My disintegration during the eulogy was very cathartic. I feel cleansed. Still sad, but manageable."

Jak reached over and gave her hand a light squeeze. "Glad to hear it, sweetie. So…thanks for the warning about Sesshoumaru. You'll be proud to know I didn't even drool. Much."

Kagome laughed gratefully. "God, speaking of drool, I need to go let out Oberon. Would I be missed if I disappeared for a half an hour?"

"I'll cover for you. Why don't you just bring him back here? He can play in the backyard with the kids. Actually Bank and I were waiting for people to leave until we asked you, but how would you and Rin like to spend the night here tonight? You can get out of that apartment…hang out with friends. We'll pick up some sushi and watch _Sound of Music_ or something. You can sleep in the bridal suite. Rin can take a bath in the whirlpool."

Kagome got teary-eyed again. "Jak, that sounds perfect. Thank you," she said embracing him. "I don't deserve you."

"Silly, of course you do," Bank retorted as he walked into the kitchen. "Kagome, if it weren't for you, Jak and I would not be together. I would be a lonely, cynical queer, wondering why I let the best guy in my life get away."

"Hell, Kagome, if it weren't for you, I'd still be giving blow jobs for ten bucks in the men's restroom. Honey, I'd probably be dead if it weren't for you. Now go pick up your dog. Bring his food, your toothbrushes, pajamas, and we'll have a slumber party tonight."

As Kagome walked the four blocks to her apartment, she felt like the luckiest person alive. True, her parents were dead, as were her sister and brother-in-law, but she had incredible friends and the world's sweetest little girl in her life. She even felt happy with the way things were progressing with the Taishos. She had a disturbing track record so far of putting her foot in her mouth around them, but it was because she was a little intimidated and just wanted to get along with them so Rin could have other family in her life. She was sure as they got used to each other, things would be fine.

She let the dog out to urinate and threw some overnight things in a back pack. Filling a plastic bag with dog food and grabbing the leash, she was ready in only a few minutes. The unmistakable sound of Oberon barking a warning spurred her to run downstairs, and she saw a man walking carefully to her door.

"Can you call off your dog?" Kagome quieted Oberon by putting her hand on his back. "Kagome Higurashi?"

"Yes," Kagome said slowly.

The man reached into his jacket and pulled out a fat envelope, stretching to hand it to her, not getting close to the dog. Kagome took it, but before she could ask any questions, he was gone.

She locked the door, leashed the dog, and opened the envelope as she walked down the sidewalk toward Bank and Jak's. She stopped and stared at the first page. **Petition for Appointment of** **Guardianship/Conservatorship for Minor**. But where she was expecting to see her name in the blank for Petitioner, it read Ken and Rose Taisho. The next page was headed **Application for Appointment** **as Guardian/Conservator for Minor**. Again the applicants listed were Ken and Rose Taisho, not her. She glanced down the page. At the bottom it said **Waiver of Notice and Request for Appointment of** **Guardian**. Sesshoumaru's name was signed in neat, elegant script. She turned to the next page. It was a letter written in legalese, which Kagome was able to parse and understood that they wanted her to withdraw her application and petition and add her signature to Sesshoumaru's, waiving her standing as a petitioner. Whatever that meant. The next two pages were signed affidavits, one by Mr. Taisho, one by his wife, both describing why they should be appointed guardians of Rin and the myriad reasons Kagome was unfit. The words _best interest of the child_, _income_, _unsustainable_, _potential drug_ _and/or alcohol abuse_, _mental fitness_, and _thorough psychological evaluation_ leaped off the page and buzzed in her brain. She felt sick, but managed to sprint to the inn.

She burst through the door, shocking the few remaining mourners cum revelers into silence. "Where's Miroku?" she demanded. "Where's Rin?"

Miroku ran into the entry hall from the area of the dining room. "Kagome, what's wrong? Rin's in the backyard."

Kagome unclipped the leash. "HOLYFUCKINGSHIT!" She took a deep breath. "Someone take the dog to play outside. Miroku," she started to cry. "I need help."

She was led into the dining room and forced into a chair as Miroku pried the contents of the envelope from Kagome's fist. He perused the contents of the pages with increasing agitation. This was an unexpected development.

"Kagome," he began evenly, "the Taishos are asking for guardianship of Rin. It's okay."

"WHAT! How is this okay?"

What a nightmare, Miroku thought. "It's unforeseen, but not the end of the world. There will be hearings, probably experts appointed by the court, but the judge will determine what is in the child's best interest, and, though money isn't nothing, continuity, familiarity, stability count for more."

"Jesus Jumping Christ! Whaddaya mean? Of course money is everything! Judges here are elected! The Taishos have more money than fucking god. They _own_ all the judges!"

"Kagome," Miroku said, "I know lots of people think that, but the system works pretty well, most of the time."

"_Pretty_ well? _Most_ of the time? It's not good enough! Can we check to see which judges received campaign contributions from the Taishos?"

Miroku hung his head. She would be a problematic client at best. "You don't shoot at the king, unless you know you can kill. Judges typically don't look favorably on petitioners whose first move is to accuse them of partiality and wrongdoing. Let the system work. In my experience nine times out of ten the judge will rule in favor of the petitioner who can provide the most stability."

"Oh god, I'm gonna puke," Kagome moaned. "I can't lose Rin. We need each other. The Taishos…holy shit…they can't…fuck." She started crying frantically again.

Sango handed Kagome a tissue. "Honey, it's okay. I've dealt with tons of custody and dependency actions. No judge would take Rin away from you." She glanced at her husband for support, but he was strangely noncommittal.

"Kagome, I wish I could give you a one hundred percent guarantee, but I would be malpracticing to do so. Nothing is guaranteed. But you've got a good case. The problem is the other side's lawyer. This will be expensive."

Kagome looked up. "Motherfucker. I don't have money Miroku. I can't pay anything." Her hysteria was slowly being replaced by despondency.

"I won't charge anything more than I need to. But Kagome, I need to tell you, their lawyer, Kagura Hideoshi, is a piece of work."

"Please elaborate."

"I know we work in an adversarial system, but most lawyers try to get along. Kagura, I mostly know her by reputation, doesn't really abide by that philosophy. Hers is more a scorched-earth, take-no-prisoners ethos."

"Shit," was all she could say.

"Kagome, just mind your Ps and Qs. They will use any excuse to call Child Protective Services on you. And honestly the last thing you want is CPS social weirdoes swooping down, pronouncing moral judgment. Do NOT put one toe out of line. I mean it. Do not call the Taishos. Make NO attempt to contact them."

Kagome just sobbed into her tissue while simultaneously ripping it to shreds. "What should I do for now?"

"Just continue to care for Rin, do _not_ call them, and trust me. It'll be okay. And don't call me four or five or six times a day, asking how the case is going. The legal wheels turn slowly. Throw away your John Grisham novels. Things are usually slow and boring. Most days nothing will happen; I will call you when it does. I had a nightmare client recently who called constantly. He drove me crazy. He literally once called to see what was happening, and nothing was, of course, so the man told me what color his underwear was. I will call you if you need to know anything."

Kagome straightened, annoyed. "Well I don't wear underwear normally, so you needn't worry yourself about me bothering you in that respect, but Miroku, if you think that I'm just going to let this roll by, you're wrong."

Miroku filed the underwear comment away for future use; his alarms bells were ringing loudly in his ears. If Kagome were anyone other than a close friend in dire straits, he would decline to get involved, but Sango would never forgive him; hell he wouldn't forgive himself. "I understand. I will represent you, Kagome, but let _me_ represent you. Just be patient."

"Wait a second," Jak interjected, "don't Inuyasha and Kikyou have some money that Kagome could use to help pay her legal fees? I mean shit, Kikyou was a rock star for godsake."

"Any money from that estate would not be accessible until the guardianship issues are worked out," Miroku replied wearily.

"They didn't have anything anyway," Kagome said in resignation. "Arrow was signed to an independent label. They were critical darlings, but their albums didn't make the kind of money you'd associate with 'rock stars'. All their real income came from touring, which they didn't do that much of, because Kikyou didn't want to leave Rin for weeks on end. All the money they made went to pay off student loans and equipment loans, then once those were done, all their money went into the production of their latest album. It was expensive as shit to make because they produced most of it themselves, and they were planning on recouping the cost touring this summer. Well, we all know that's not going to happen. Inuyasha's business, music promotion, has no assets. It was all contacts he'd made over the years. Nothing one could put a price tag to. Basically when they died, they'd broke even." She felt beyond tired. Rin was visible through the rear window, swinging happily, dog at her feet keeping watch.

"Fuck, the whole time the past two days…well, things weren't perfect, but I thought there was common ground. I'm so goddamn stupid. I fucking asked them to sit with us; I invited them over here. The entire time they were planning this BULLSHIT."

"Kagome," Miroku said, "don't blame yourself. It's what they want you to do. I can tell by the envelope, they had it delivered by special bailiff. They didn't need to. These affidavits, it's all meant to intimidate you; it's over the top. They want you to sign the waiver. They want you to just cave."

She was suddenly angry. "Well, fuck that noise," she said. "If it's a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get." Jak and Bank grinned at each other. "They just don't know what kind of enemy they've taken on." She blew her nose and stood up. "I'll sign that paper when hell freezes over."

Rin and Oberon walked into the dining room. The little girl noticed the tension, but especially apparent was the near absence of grey around her aunt. Now it was almost all red. "Kagome, are you okay?" she asked cautiously.

Kagome tousled the child's hair and said, "Honey, I'm more okay than I've been in a while. The more important question is, how are _you_?"

"I'm okay. Jak said we could stay here and take a bath with lots of bubbles."

"If that's what you'd like, I'm all for it."

"I'd love a group bubble bath," Miroku enthused, back to his lecherous self. Sango elbowed him in the ribs.

"Oh come on Sango, you're such a party pooper!" Jak protested.

Rin and Kagome giggled and looked at each other conspiratorially and giggled. "He said 'poop'."

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, neither plots nor characters. Nor am I affiliated with the Sound of Music, All My Children, One Life to Live, or the Modest Mouse album entitled Good News for People Who Love Bad News. Thanks for reading! _


	5. Kagome Behaving Badly

Sesshoumaru Taisho looked out the window of his corner office at what was arguably the best view in the city. As he listened to the voice on the phone, he surveyed the cityscape as a parent looks with pride at offspring. "No. Withdraw the offer. That property is over-valued as it is, and paying that much will only serve to increase the attractiveness of the old newspaper warehouse site to other speculators. The warehouse is the crown jewel in my plan, but I don't want to have to shell out a dime over the current asking price. If Easton catches on how desirable it is to us, he'll take advantage; he's been waiting to bring Taisho, Inc. to its knees since I was a child, and I'll be damned if that will happen under my watch. We'll make the offer to Easton after Everett's financing falls through...yes, of course it will; I've made it clear to his investors what the consequences would be…no, just sit on your hands and let me make the decision." Sesshoumaru ended the call to the head of his commercial property division, smirking with the knowledge that his family's main rival would be instrumental in his complete ownership of the most potentially lucrative stretch of downtown. A morning well spent.

He played the chess game of real estate acquisition perfectly, exercising the patience of a lethal predator when necessary. Always aware of increases and declines in property values, trending markets, rezoning issues, and the backroom political decisions that influenced everything, Sesshoumaru had the reputation of a shrewd, ruthless businessman whose investments and achievements were so thoroughly shaping the urban landscape to his advantage, that many half-joked that he could see into the future. He was a genius at what he did, possessing a perfect sense of timing, but also had at his disposal such means and wealth that he could afford to affect change for his sole benefit. His father had thought he was a fool to focus on urban holdings when so much of Taisho, Inc. was tied to success in the suburbs, but Sesshoumaru saw a blank canvas begging to be remade. The two had had many arguments, but over time the old man admitted not only was his son correct, he also had an unmatched ability to generate income.

"Mr. Taisho," his secretary's voice came through the intercom, "your father's on line one. Councilman Rice rescheduled your eleven o'clock appointment to three, and I need your signature on the Martin document before I can fax it. The coffee maker broke this morning so I'm going across the street for a latte, can I get you anything?"

"Yes, Carol, a large coffee and check the specials at Lagniappe; I'm working through lunch today. Thank you." He picked up the phone for what seemed the thousandth time that morning. "Father."

"Sesshoumaru, did the Tyler deal go through yet?"

"I want to wait until they work out their problems with the carpenters union. The last thing we need is picket lines outside that hotel construction site. The editorial board of the paper is still on the fence regarding which side to support in the referendum, and the negative publicity in alienating organized labor is something we can't afford."

"Dammit. I was hoping that would be finished by now."

Sesshoumaru sighed; his father's impatience was grating and unrealistic. "Just let me handle it."

"Your mother and I are meeting Kagura at Arabesque tonight to discuss the guardianship proceedings. We need you to attend."

"No. I told you to keep me out of it," he said firmly.

"Sesshoumaru, be reasonable. Kagura said it involves you as well."

He was getting angry. "Well it shouldn't involve me. I thought that was the reason for signing the waiver, to show I had no interest in asserting a claim on the child."

"Kagura plans on requesting that the judge order a home study by the Cabinet for Families, and all those who reside at the house would be interviewed. She said you are vital proof that ours is the more stable home."

"And how is that? I'm rarely there, and I've already told you it has nothing to do with me."

"I know, but Kagura said the judge will want you included. Do it for your mother, at least. You know how important this is to her. Can you live with the responsibility if that Higurashi woman ends up with the child? Your mother would be crushed."

Ah, there it is…the inevitable guilt trip, he thought. "What time?" he asked in resignation.

"Eight. Now what is the status with Easton's warehouse? If that slides through our fingers…"

Twenty minutes later Sesshoumaru finally got off the phone with his father. The old man was supposed to be in semi-retirement, working only on select suburban properties, but he couldn't resist meddling. Sesshoumaru kept him informed, but refused to let his father have any part in the decision-making process, as he had learned years ago his father tended to railroad rather than collaborate, and the two were incapable of working together. And now he was being forced into this unpleasant custody matter. It was true though, what his father said; his mother would be crushed. Her interest in the child neared obsession. She had a parade of interior designers through the house, consulting on the redecoration of a bedroom, and had already looked into riding lessons. At least it distracted her from her previous hobby, a preoccupation with altering his unmarried state. He worried what would happen if his mother's Dream of Rin was not actualized, but he truthfully still couldn't imagine a little girl living in their cold, empty, silent house.

There was a soft knock on his door, and his secretary entered. She set the coffee on his desk and waited while he read and signed some papers. "I'll get these out right away. The specials weren't up yet, and oh, I brought you this," she said with a knowing smile, handing him a newspaper.

"Thank you, Carol. That will be all." It was _The Missing Link_, the local alternative weekly newspaper, containing his one guilty pleasure. He appreciated having his needs anticipated, but hated the idea that he was becoming predictable. Still, now that his eleven o'clock was cancelled, he could indulge in his usual Thursday pastime a bit early. He supposed that his reading of the sex-advice column that ran in the paper was incongruous for someone of his standing, but no one need be made aware. Reading the column and workouts at Kamae Kendo Club were the only two things he did purely for enjoyment. He paged through to the back, and there, nestled in the ads for strip clubs, models and escorts, and singles' classifieds, was the object of his search.

_**Scarlet Letter'd: Advice from the Soapbox of the Damned**_

_Dear Scarlet, I've been with my girlfriend for about two months, and everything's great. She's sweet, fun, smart, and she loves giving blowjobs. But I guess that's the problem. She sucks me three or four times a day, I cum in her mouth, and she swallows, but never asks for anything in return. She never asks for me to go down on her, and she never asks for intercourse. She kind of hinted that her previous boyfriend treated her like dirt, so I'm worried that maybe she has low self-esteem and doesn't feel deserving or something. Or maybe she just really likes the taste of my cock. What should I do? Signed Lucky Bastard _

_Dear Bastard, Your sweet, fun, smart girlfriend can't keep your dick out of her mouth…I'm not really seeing the problem here. Perhaps you are using this space to brag, albeit under a pseudonym, to a large audience about your current enviable situation. Or perhaps you are a genuinely nice guy who is concerned about his girlfriend's feelings. I have a smidge of doubt, you see, because of the wording in your letter. She never "asks" for cunnilingus or sexual intercourse…do you ask for the fellatio you receive, or does she drop to her knees spontaneously? I'm thinking she just does it and therefore, so should you. Perhaps she's too shy to ask, perhaps she's hoping you'll get a clue and give her some action instead of writing to an advice columnist about it. If you truly suspect she feels inadequate, __**tell**__ her how sweet, fun, smart you think she is. Tell her just how sexy and great and giving she is. Then turn that pole-smoking lady love around (I presume you're familiar with the number sixty-nine) and get your mouth down there! While sixty-nine is not my favorite sexual position (not even in my top ten), I think it is the obvious solution to your dilemma. _

_Dear Scarlet, I am having a little problem with my fiancé. A long time ago, like six months ago, before we got engaged, he cheated on me. I caught them in our bed and forgave him and everything and it's all fine now. But recently he said he wants to have a threesome with another girl before we get married, and then he said he can marry me without feeling like he's missed out on something. I told him no, that it felt too much like cheating to me. He got all mad at me and there was a big fight. I'm worried that if I don't give him a threesome before the wedding, he might just go pick up two girls in a bar or something. He's hinted that's what he'd do. Should I just do what he wants because I love him and that's what people who are in love do? Signed, Bride-to-Be _

_Dear Bride, Are you fucking kidding me? Your "problem" is about as "little" as your fiancé's huge ego. As I have mentioned many times in this column, I am a huge advocate of three-ways. They are fun as hell, but work if, and only if, all three participants are all on the same page. You, my dear, are simply not on board, and it doesn't seem that your heart will ever be in it. Maybe not Never, but honey, six months is not that long ago, and it is perfectly natural that at this point you are having trust issues. Instead of asking yourself if you should just give him what he wants, you __**should**__ be asking yourself whether you really want to marry this manipulative asshole. He should be happy with what he is gaining in marrying you, not focusing on what he's giving up. And by the way yes, a person in love does things for the other, but people who are in love are also respectful of the feelings of their partners. Your boyfriend should have taken your "no" as the end of the story, at least until he has a proven track record and your trust is restored. But he didn't. He fought about it. I say drop the immature loser like the sack of shit he is. Then go pick up two guys in a bar and have a hot ménage a trois to celebrate avoidance of making the worst mistake of your life._

Sesshoumaru smiled to himself as he finished. The column dispensed common-sense advice with a straightforward, naughty humor that made it one of the most popular features in the newspaper. Those who wrote in asked about fetishes, positions, diseases, relationships, and devices, among other things. Some were complete freaks that made him wonder about the condition of humanity, but the advice was rarely mean spirited and was usually spot-on. Today's column was satisfying, but pretty tame. Two weeks ago it was dedicated to having sex in public without getting caught. He laughed out loud several times, but fortunately he was working late and the office was empty, so there were no witnesses A few weeks before that she addressed the importance of communication in the health of a relationship, whether a fifty-year marriage or a one night stand. He wondered who 'Scarlet' was. He dated when he could fit it into his packed schedule, which wasn't often. A never-ending supply of attractive women was at his beck and call, and he had been through many of them, but none captured his attention for longer than a few dinners and a quick fuck. Some were slightly stupid, many were preoccupied with flattering him, all were profoundly uninteresting. Too bad 'Scarlet' wasn't real; she seemed like the perfect woman to him.

XxXxX

Kagome flopped down on the overstuffed sofa in Sango's office. She looked around at the comfortable, peaceful surroundings, sun streaming through the window, African violets blooming, watercolors on the walls and almost fell asleep. The second movement of the New World Symphony on the CD player wasn't helping. "God Sango, I am so damn tired. I didn't get to bed until four, then Rin woke me up at six, because she was so excited about the last day of school and spending the night at Shippou's that she couldn't sleep."

Sango noted the dark bags under Kagome's eyes. "Can you take a nap today? You look like something out of a Tim Burton movie. What were you doing until four?"

Kagome yawned. "Putting the finishing touches on that tapestry commissioned by Arabesque. I brought it over and helped hang it after I dropped off Rin at preschool. It looks awesome. And I got paid!"

Sango smiled. "Congratulations! Rin is spending the night out?"

"Yeah. I'm freaking. She's spent the night at Jericho and Jordan's before, but since that's right downstairs, it was different. She said she really wants to though." Kagome's eyes began to tear. "I miss her already. I took some pictures at the school. She and Shippou were so cute. I swear they're like a butter and white sugar sandwich, they're so sweet. But she'll be fine. I've only met one of Shippou's dads, Jason, but he's great. Rin's gone to their house after school before; she's very comfortable with them. And they know they can call me if she wants to come home."

"I told you kids are resilient. She's described Shippou to me; he sounds like a good kid. I'm sure she'll be fine. Rin has pretty good instincts." Sango poured a cup of coffee. "Kagome, I need to tell you something."

"I'm all ears."

"We made a decision last night. Miroku's practice is going well. I've got all the clients I could want. Our student loans are almost paid off, and the house renovation is almost finished." She took a deep breath. "At the end of the summer, I'm going off the pill."

Kagome stared at Sango in disbelief, then broke into happy tears. "Sango, honey, you two will be the best parents!" She sprang up and threw her arms around her friend.

"Kagome did you hear me? End of the summer? Nothing to celebrate yet."

"Okay, okay," she said wiping her eyes. "It's still great news though. And…I'm not losing my drinking buddy until fall."

"Ooh, I have an idea," Sango was suddenly excited. "Since you don't have Rin tonight, let's go to Arabesque for dinner. Miroku has a Restaurant Association gift card a client gave to him for Christmas that's going to expire soon, and I'm dying to see that tapestry. Miroku just settled a big case last night, so he'll be in the mood for an evening out."

"Damn girl, what a good idea!" she blurted. "Leon, the owner, said I should come by for dinner on the house any time. I'll go for a run with the dog…take a shower…take a nap. You don't know how much I need a night on the town. All this shit with the Taishos has been dragging me down. Miroku said the preliminary hearing, which is next Wednesday, will be no big deal, but I'm shitting bricks about going to court. For obvious reasons. The last time I was at a courthouse was about the worst time of my life. Or the beginning of the worst time of my life."

Sango didn't want to change the subject unless Kagome desired it. "Do you want to talk?" she asked carefully.

Kagome was thoughtful. "Maybe not yet. I'm okay for now. It's not exactly the hearing next week as much as what comes after. The interviews, being judged. I'll probably need to talk your ear off in a couple weeks."

"What have you told Rin?"

"Not much. She knows I'm tense about something not related to Kikyou and Yasha dying and not related to moving, but I didn't want to worry her about having to live with the Taishos at least until after next week's hearing. I hate keeping her in the dark, but I don't want her to get scared. She's got enough shit to deal with, and she certainly doesn't need to be put in the middle."

"I think that's probably wise. How's the apartment hunt."

"The biggest fucking pain in the ass," Kagome said, rubbing her temples. "I knew it would be hard with a dog, but goddam, I've got a good credit rating, I provide my tax returns, which clearly show I am an income earner, but the way I've been treated, you'd think I'm a leper. I can't find fucking anything in this neighborhood. That was my ideal, for continuity's sake, but now…I don't know. God knows what it's going to do for my chances of keeping Rin. How is a home study interview supposed to go if I don't have a home? I still just can't believe those people. There is no way in the seventh plane of hell that Inuyasha or Kikyou would have wanted her to go live with them."

"I know," Sango said sympathetically. She searched for a change of subject. "Oh, I haven't had a chance to mention this, I've read a bunch of reviews of _Jewel Uncorrupted_. They've been highly laudatory. _Rolling Stone_, _Blender_, _Spin_, _All Songs Considered_, altpress, emusic have all heaped praise."

"Isn't it great!" she squealed. "The Onion's A.V. Club gave it an A plus plus. They've never done that before."

"I knew back when we were roommates freshman year that Kikyou would make her imprint on the world. Of course we all thought she'd end child exploitation or something. I know she'll be missed at the domestic violence center and the CASA program. Your sister's really was a life cut too short."

"Thanks Sango," Kagome replied seriously. "I needed that. To be reminded that Kikyou had goals other than the band, especially with all the attention the album's had. She certainly was an idealist, but she knew how to accomplish things. I wish more people knew that about her." Kagome stood up. "I should go home. I need to do dishes, and I can't wait to run. I've had to shuffle my way of doing things so much the past ten days…rearranging around Rin's sleeping and eating and getting her to school on time. Which, by the way, I've done with ninety percent success. Not quite as good as Kikyou, who was NEVER late, but way better than Inuyasha's record. And I started doing Pilates after lunch. I like the day girl. Her name's Shannon; she showed me some new exercises for my sciatica."

"I'm happy about the Pilates, but do yourself a favor and quit comparing yourself to Kikyou. She was an overachiever. Her standards were superhuman."

"I know. I quit consciously comparing myself to my sister ages ago. It's the unconsciously that gets me." She kissed Sango on the cheek and made her way to the door. "I'll call Arabesque, what time?"

"Let's do seven. Kind of early, but I have a couple clients tomorrow, so I can't have a late night."

"Pick me up?"

Sango nodded.

"See you at six forty-five."

XxXxX

When Miroku and Sango arrived to pick Kagome up, she was in a thoroughly rotten mood, the result of two telephone calls she'd received earlier that day. The first was from an old friend who tended bar at the neighborhood dive. He told her there was a guy poking around, asking the regulars about her, how often she frequented the establishment, how much she drank, and did she ever pick up guys and leave with them. The second call was from Bank to say that at a neighborhood association meeting the previous night, some of the area landlords told him there were rumors that Kagome Higurashi was a bad risk and not to rent to her. He didn't have any more information, but it was enough to send her into paroxysms of fury. She stormed around the apartment in a frenzy, trying not to throw things, and, deciding to vent her anger in a constructive way, scoured the sinks and tub. Afterward her emotions were not running quite so hot, but the scrubbing gave her a sore elbow and when she tried to nap, sleep proved impossible.

"Kagome, what's up?" Sango asked. Kagome was dressed in a close-fitting, short burgundy dress that showed off her willowy, slender build and long legs, but also unfortunately showed off her glassy, bloodshot eyes complete with puffy, black circles. "You look worse than you did after lunch. Didn't you take a nap?"

She shook her head. "Oh my life is just going to hell in a handbag. Miroku, the Taishos are the reason I can't find an apartment. I just found out they've been fucking trashing my name. Can you stop them? My lease runs out in a week. My landlord's a sweetheart and said I could stay until an extra week, but he's anxious to put the building on the market. I need to move, and no one will rent to me, because of those ASSholes!"

"Alright calm down. What exactly do you know?" Miroku had been impressed the past week with Kagome's level-headedness in dealing with all the stress of the upcoming hearing and possibility of losing Rin. He suddenly realized how much anxiety roiled beneath the surface.

"Aaron from The Church Pew called and said the past couple nights some guy has been coming around digging up dirt about me. And then Bank said that he heard I was a bad renter. I'm so fucking mad, I could—"

"Kagome, relax. Flipping your wig will solve nothing."

Kagome hated to be told to relax. "Alright Mr. Lawyerman. What are you going to do about it?"

Miroku sighed. He hated clients sometimes. "Truthfully there's not much I can do. We have no proof that they've done anything. Interfering with your right to housing is actionable, and I'm sure it's in violation of fair housing laws, but without proof, I just don't think there's more I can do than write a nasty letter. I have a strong suspicion who it is—"

"Well…" Kagome interrupted. "Tell me!"

"Their lawyer, Kagura, has a brother named Naraku. He's an exlawyer. He was disbarred for doing about every illegal, unethical thing a lawyer can do—"

"You mean practice law?" Sango said snarkily.

"Very funny," Miroku retorted dryly. "I'll choose to ignore that. As I was saying he no longer can practice, so he makes his living doing the unethical, sleazy things that lawyers can't get away with. He's like a private investigator-attack dog. He's in and out of jail constantly, and I can almost guarantee that if he is currently on the outside, he's your guy. Unfortunately he covers his bases very well, and I'd be surprised if we could tie him to the Taishos, even if we were able to somehow track down that he is the source of these rumors. But for now I can write a letter to a landlord or two and see if we can work something out."

Kagome was temporarily placated. "Thanks, Miroku. I just want them to play fair. I can fight them on an equal playing field, but if they pull this SHIT! Sorrysorry, I'll stay calm. I just want to go have a nice dinner, get drunk, and forget all about the Taishos."

"So…are you wearing underwear?" Miroku asked slyly as he opened the car door for her.

Kagome winked at Sango, then said throatily, "I'll never tell."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru left his office building and walked the two blocks to the restaurant. Arabesque had opened four months ago, and the continued popularity seemed to indicate it was not a flash in the pan, as so many trendy eateries proved to be. The excellent Vietnamese Fusion menu and superb wine list had made it a favorite of the critics on opening, and the fact that it was packed most nights meant it was one more on the list of downtown success stories for which he could take credit; the owner was a man named Leon Phan, but Sesshoumaru was his silent partner, providing most of the start-up capital. He walked up just as his father handed car keys to the valet.

"Sesshoumaru," his mother said, "I'm so glad you decided to meet us."

"It's against my better judgment," he said. "Where's Kagura?" Kagura Hideoshi was intelligent and attractive, but she was also mean and vain and had an annoying attitude of possessiveness about him. This dinner had better go quickly, he thought. He wanted to go home and read the closing financial figures before catching up on some much needed sleep.

Kagura's sports car screeched to a halt next to them. She got out and sneered, "Don't scratch it," at the valet before pasting on a saccharine smile. "Sesshoumaru, I'm so happy to see you understand how much we all need your participation and cooperation in gaining guardianship of your dear little niece. You'll be pleased to know, I've gotten some information and things are going well. And it will give us an opportunity to spend more time together." Then she added so only he could hear, "I've missed you."

He looked blankly at her, not wanting to give her any ideas. His mother and Mrs. Hideoshi played bridge and tennis together, and they had been trying to get him and Kagura together for several years. They had gone out once, two years before. He had agreed to it hoping his mother would get off his back and leave him alone, but it only served to embolden all three women. As he held the door open for Kagura and his parents, he saw the new tapestry that Leon had commissioned for the entrance to Arabesque. It was a five feet long and three feet wide, loosely woven depiction of a highly stylized tree, with a twisted, knotted trunk and snaky curving branches. The colors were rich, striking jewel tones, with deep red, blue, and an amazing, vibrant purple dominating. Bronze metallic thread was woven in like filigree throughout, twining and curling in the branches and the lacy leaves. The whole thing was scattered with small bronze beads, adding to the shimmering, otherworldly quality.

"My goodness, is that new?" asked his mother. "I've never seen such an exquisite piece. Sesshoumaru do you know anything about this?"

"Only that Leon had commissioned it last month, local artist, and he seemed to think he was getting it for a steal, though he didn't tell me how much he paid."

The host approached them with menus and a wine list. "Good evening, Mr. Taisho. Would you like the table you had last time?"

"Could we sit in the front?" his mother asked quickly. "I'd like to have a view of this wall hanging."

After they were seated and drinks were ordered, Kagura broke the silence. "Mrs. Taisho, how is the redecorating coming along? Did you choose a designer yet?"

"I narrowed the possibilities, but I'm afraid I am unaware of what Rin likes. There are horse themes, fairy themes, princess themes. I just don't want to choose incorrectly." She was quiet a moment. "I can't take my eyes off the tapestry. I wonder if the artist would do something similar, but more…whimsical, appropriate for a child's room. Sesshoumaru, could you find out the artist's contact information?"

Their server brought drinks, and Sesshoumaru asked him to send for the owner.

"Kagura, tell us truthfully. What are the chances of us losing?" Ken Taisho inquired.

"Zero," Kagura said flatly. "Once I finish with her, the aunt will be convinced she's the last person on earth who should have access to a child, much less raise one. She'll be begging you to take her."

Sesshoumaru scowled. He wanted even less to do with the whole business.

"Kagura, is there a way to win guardianship without resorting to mudslinging?" Ken asked after noticing the expressions of distaste on the faces of his wife and son.

The lawyer smiled patronizingly. "Mr. Taisho. You hired me to represent you in this legal matter to the best of my ability. I am an aggressive, zealous advocate. I will do anything and everything to win. Most of my clients _want_ to win, and I thought you do as well."

"We do, but…"

"Mr. Taisho, so glad to see you dining here tonight. I was told that you wanted to see me." The owner of the restaurant addressed Sesshoumaru, then looked at the others seated at the table. "And this must be your family. And your girlfriend?"

Kagura looked crestfallen when Sesshoumaru corrected the assumption, making the necessary introductions. "My mother was wondering about the wall hanging near the entrance."

"Ah yes, incredible isn't it. I can't believe she didn't ask twice as much for it. We just hung it this morning, but I plan on getting a picture of it on the website right away. As luck would have it, the artist is actually dining here tonight."

"Oh really? I'd love to meet her," Rose exclaimed.

"She's right over there. Kagome Higurashi is her name. That beautiful, long-limbed woman in the maroon dress."

There was a shocked silence, then Sesshoumaru observed, "What an interesting coincidence."

XxXxX

"Ooo, I wish I'd gotten that. It looks wonderful," Sango said to Kagome about her Lemongrass Salmon, which had just been served.

"What'd you get again?" Kagome asked.

"Vegetarian crepes, filled with tofu and shiitake."

"Wanna go halfsies?"

Sango nodded enthusiastically as Miroku finished off the bottle of Pinot Grigio and ordered another. "I should quick call Rin. I want to catch her before they go to bed." Kagome fished her cell from her bag and scrolled. "Hi, it's Kagome. I'm just calling to check on Rin…good…oh that's great...can I talk to her? Hi honey, you okay? Having fun? Well, I'll see you in the morning…sugar cereal, huh? Have fun, and be good…bye." Kagome hung up and smiled sadly. "She seems good, but wasn't too interested in talking. I can't believe I'm going to be home alone tonight. Just me and the dog."

"Got any big plans?" Miroku asked.

"_Blood Diamond_ came in the mail courtesy of Netflix today. I might watch that and then imagine myself in the middle of a Leonardo and Djimon Hounsou sandwich when I go to bed. Ooo I can get out my special dildo."

Miroku snorted into his napkin, but it was Sango who spoke. "Kagome, I thought _all_ your dildos were special."

She smiled wickedly. "I try not to play favorites, but some are more well-suited for certain purposes."

They chatted as they ate, enjoying their meal, and all three were pleased to be out with each other. After their plates were cleared, Kagome looked toward her tapestry hanging not far away and froze at the sight that met her. Miroku and Sango noted her paralysis, then saw the Taishos. Kagome turned back to stare at the glass in front of her, upper lip twitching, and Miroku could have sworn he saw flames leaping from her eyes. He quickly motioned to their server to bring the check. "Kagome, as your Counsel I strongly advise you to walk right past them without a word. We'll leave soon; don't do anything stupid."

"Who is that woman?"

"Kagura Hideoshi," he responded quietly.

Kagome nodded, not betraying the ire that came with the certain knowledge that they were talking about her. "I'm going to use the restroom." Grabbing her bag, she stood and walked briskly away.

Miroku looked at his wife with alarm. "Well go with her!"

Sango hurried after Kagome and, gripping her arm, said, "I think I saw a sign for the bathroom in this direction," steering her the other way.

"Of course, thanks," Kagome replied through gritted teeth.

Upon entering the small ladies room, Kagome hurried into the only stall, mind spinning. There were two rolls of toilet paper. The full one she gently slid one under the side of the stall and gave a little kick, praying Sango didn't see it rolling away. The other she took out of the holder and held behind her back. She flushed and exited the stall, careful to shield the toilet paper from Sango's eagle eye. Sango went into the stall, and Kagome placed the toilet paper roll in the wall-mounted box that was the motion sensing hand dryer. It started the dryer running, and because there was an object in front of the motion detector, it didn't stop.

"Kagome did you use all the TP? Do you have any tissues in your purse; I didn't grab mine."

"Hang on a second, Sango, I can't hear you with this noisy dryer," Kagome said as she slipped through the door.

She went back into the dining room and plotted how she could make her way to the Taisho's table without Miroku seeing her. She saw a red-headed, voluptuous server whom she had seen that morning. "Hey, do you think you could do me an insanely big favor," Kagome asked the woman, putting on her friendliest face.

"What do you need, ma'am?"

"See that cute guy over there with the green shirt and dark hair?" The red head nodded. "Do you think you could go over there and stop right in front of his table, then drop a pen or something and bend over to pick it up and straighten really slowly, maybe wiggling a little?" The woman looked at her suspiciously at first, but grinned and agreed. As Kagome made the short trip to the table at which sat four people she could easily tear limb from limb, she briefly thought 'I'm goin' to hell', but recovered quickly from her pang of guilt.

The Taishos and Kagura saw the barrage that was Kagome in full righteous anger mode right before she swooped down on them. "So," she began, "you people are something else. Did you really think for a single second that Rin would be better off with you? I knew Inuyasha for ten years. I was his best friend for godssake. I know about the mental hatchet job you did on him growing up. Do you really think I'd let that sweet child go live in your nest of vipers? I think you must be crazier than he even said you were."

"Young lady, you will watch what you say to me," Mr. Taisho said.

"No, YOU shut up and listen. How big an idiot do you think I am? What would you say when Rin wakes up in the middle of the night, crying, and says 'I miss my Mommy'? I would say 'I miss her too honey'. What can you say? 'Well, Rin we actually hated her, and for no good reason'. And when she grows up and asks questions about what her mother was like? I can tell her all about Kikyou; we were twins for fuck sake. What would you say? 'Well we never even bothered to get to know her'. You really think you can do a better job raising her? Two old people? I'll be fucked if I let her go live with you and be raised by a goddam nanny."

"Miss Higurashi—"

"It's Ms. Higurashi, for your information, and, by the way, call off your shit-eating goon _now_. You wanna play dirty? You don't know who you're messing with. I can play dirty too." She paused and took note of the shock on all their faces. She zeroed in on Sesshoumaru. "Wanted to stay out of it, didn't you? Well you're buried in the thick of now, asshole. You want dirty? I think I read the results of an early poll about the referendum on your precious arena recently. Fifty-two percent approval, wasn't it? Not too cushy a lead, is it? What will happen to that lead if people start hearing about you wanting to rip a little girl away from the only family she knows? You may not realize the affection this city has for my sister and her band. The new album is being praised to the ceiling. It is putting this town on the map musically. What will happen to the poll numbers when the residents learn that your family hated one of its favorite daughters? You conceited, elitist fucks—" She was silenced by a large hand clamping down on her mouth.

"My…client has nothing else to say. Goodnight," Miroku growled, not even bothering to conceal his anger. He frog marched Kagome out of the restaurant, Sango bringing up the rear.

Sesshoumaru sighed in disgust. He didn't know if he was more appalled by Kagome's behavior, by his parents thinking they could actually provide a good home for a four-year-old, or by the fact that he was now firmly mired in the middle of the whole disagreeable affair.

&&&

_Thanks for reading and thanks for any and all reviews; they are highly appreciated. I do not own Inuyasha, neither characters, nor plots. I also am not affiliated with Rolling Stone, Blender, Spin, All Songs Considered, altpress, emusic, The Onion, Court Appointed Special Advocates, Pilates, Blood Diamond, or Netflix._


	6. Dealing with the Aftermath

Kagome, haphazardly clutching two coffees and a bag of pastries, rode the elevator to Miroku's office, trying not to focus on the events of the previous evening, specifically the tense car ride back to her apartment.

Miroku, who traditionally had played the straight man to Inuyasha's manic, loud, crassness, yelled at her. He never yelled. Kagome had still been riding her high of telling the Taishos to piss off and was initially angry with him, first for interrupting her self-righteous tirade, and second for daring to berate her for her stupidity. Sango did all she could to keep things from getting out of hand and them from getting into a car accident, but in the short time it took to get Kagome home, the confrontation had degenerated into exchanged screams of "Fuck you!" and the ultimate retort "No, fuck YOU!" After Kagome slammed the door behind her and properly greeted the dog, reality hit hard. Miroku had instructed her not to say anything, to just walk away, but instead she trapped Sango in the bathroom, exploited Miroku's known weakness for the female posterior, and shouted at the Taishos. With foul language. In public. She spent the rest of the night fretting about her rash behavior and ensuing possible consequences.

Time to make amends and repair damage done, she thought as she stepped off the elevator and put on her most charming smile, winking at Miroku's secretary as she breezed into his office. He looked up from his computer and sneered at her.

"Miroku? I'msosorry," the apology blurted out as she slid the coffee toward him and pulled a large pastry from the bag. She was so not above bribery. "Would you believe it was my evil twin?"

He sighed in resignation. "Kagome…you _are_ the evil twin. Is that a Napoleon?" he asked about the puffy, layered confection.

"A _strawberry_ Napoleon. Does this mean you'll forgive me?" she asked sheepishly.

"Well I haven't filed a motion to withdraw as counsel yet, if that answers your question."

She sat down carefully, taking note of the word 'yet'. "I just kinda snapped…in a calculated, premeditated way. How badly did I fuck up?"

"Nothing irreparable. I hope. You didn't do yourself any favors, that's certain. Don't be surprised if you get served with a restraining order or even an emergency protective order; I wouldn't put that past Kagura."

Kagome was shocked. "What! A fucking restraining order? Those are for criminals. All I did was raise my voice in a restaurant!"

"I doubt a judge would grant one, though that doesn't mean Kagura can't try. That's how she works. Her clients have deep enough pockets that she will keep filing motions, even over-the-top, borderline frivolous ones to make you spend money that you don't have paying me to go to court to fight them. It takes forever, you go broke, and eventually they win because you can't afford the cost and emotions to stay with it."

Kagome rubbed her temples. "And here I thought if I'd lose it would be because they'd drag in a bunch up of unrelated bullshit about me." She looked at him sadly. "Miroku, I'm sorry."

"I know, but I'm only charging you court costs so far. I can't afford a long, drawn-out legal battle anymore than you can. I still think you can win guardianship; this isn't about you and the Taishos. It's about stability for Rin. We need right now to concentrate on finding you two a place to live."

Kagome nodded, just before the guilty, anxious tears came. Miroku handed her the tissue box, then got up to comfort her. "Okay?" he asked.

She sniffed affirmatively and stood. "I love you, Miroku. You're such a good friend." They held each other for a minute.

"I know," he said softly. "Try anything like that again, though, and you'll be shopping for a new lawyer."

She felt his hand straying lower down her back, closer to her curvy backside. Should I just let him, she wondered, I _was_ a total bitch last night…nah. "Hey you letch! Get that paw up where it belongs." The hand moved back to her shoulder. "It's your kryptonite, you know."

He let her go. "What can I say? I'm an ass man."

Kagome smiled widely, sure in the knowledge that things were alright between them. "Yeah, just remember whose ass you're married to. Speaking of Sango, has she forgiven me for that toilet paper-hand dryer stunt?"

"I think actually she was impressed that you thought it up so quickly. How did you slip past me? I was watching the dining room like a hawk."

Kagome avoided eye contact and changed the subject. "So…at this time next year you two might have a bun in the oven." She giggled at his lopsided grin. "Are you blushing? So _cute_," she squealed, pinching his cheek. "I wish Inuyasha was here. Do you remember how excited he was when Kikyou got pregnant? They were going to start trying for another at the end of the year. You both could have…" Voice cracking, she covered her face with her hands.

"Sshh," he whispered, putting his arm around her trembling shoulders. "Don't start crying again."

"Sorry. I just…" She blew her nose. "I should go. I've got an appointment to look at an apartment before I pick up Rin, and I would love to run with the dog first."

"Yeah, I've got court soon. It'll be okay. Trust me Kagome. And stay away from the Taishos. Understand?"

"Understood."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru had spent the past two hours on the internet, reading blogs, articles, and message boards all related to indie music and Arrow. He had no idea his late sister-in-law's band was so highly regarded. Never having heard them before, he was more than a little curious. Apparently Kagome had not been exaggerating their popularity; all the articles spoke of Kikyou's song writing skills, incredible live performances, and mourned her death as a great blow to independent music in general, but most particularly to the local scene. He studied a photo of her taken earlier that year at the South by Southwest Music Festival. The sisters looked incredibly alike, even for twins, but Kikyou projected an air of calm seriousness that he doubted Kagome was capable of. He wondered what the serene, talented woman in the picture ever saw in his uncouth younger brother.

Then he received an email from the Chamber of Commerce lobbyist with whom he had been collaborating on the wording of the special referendum for the arena funding. The City Council was not supposed to vote on the precise wording for another two weeks, but an assistant to one council member leaked an advance sample. _Shall the Municipality be authorized to impose a tax at the rate of ½% upon all citizens on employment income for the purposes of the financing the construction of a privately-owned multi-use facility_.

"Fuck," he said under his breath. The one-sided wording was the worst possible news they could receive. The inclusion of 'impose', 'tax', 'privately-owned' was a death blow to the future of the arena. As soon as the ballot question was made available to the public, the numbers supporting the project would immediately plummet. He had fought tooth and nail for the more innocuous sounding words 'permission to collect', 'increasing financial support', 'fee', 'one half one percent', and 'augmentation of public benefit', plainly to no effect.

He immediately typed a response. _This wording is completely unacceptable. Go to the Ballot Committee, or whatever that cabal is calling themselves currently, and discover the weakest links—their pet neighborhood issues, skeletons in the closets, I don't care. I cannot stress enough the importance this not see the light of day_. There was more going on than taxpayer advocacy. The owners of the current arena and surrounding restaurants and hotels were the most vocal opposition, but he thought the investment opportunities in the new development he had presented to them had been more than generous. The headache that had begun the night before suddenly reappeared full force.

Next he checked the local paper's website, which contained a new Op-Ed piece questioning the feasibility of the adequacy of the arena funding in the changing market and inquiring into the profits stood to be made by individuals like himself, only adding to his consternation. He felt the situation slipping beyond his control, and it made him furious. The veiled threats Kagome Higurashi made now seemed dark and ominous, and he cursed his father and Kagura for creating this new dilemma of going after a child who, in his opinion, would be better off with her aunt.

His own childhood, while lacking in no material possession or opportunity, was hardly a model of a nurturing, loving environment. The arguments and harsh words of years gone by had faded, only to be replaced with an uncomfortable silence, a conscious ignoring of asking for and granting forgiveness. He heard someone enter and, turning, saw his mother.

"Sesshoumaru, you're up early," Rose Taisho said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Do you mind if I join you?"

He closed his laptop. "Please, sit down."

"You were largely silent last night. I'd like to know your thoughts on this custody matter."

Sesshoumaru felt he could no longer hold his tongue, but also wanted to avoid a confrontation, one too many years in the making. "My thoughts were that I wanted to stay out of it. Apparently that's not an option anymore." He sighed. "A four-year-old, Mother. Is it best she come here?" he asked gently. "Can't you be like normal grandparents and just see the child every weekend?"

Rose Taisho reached and took his hand firmly. Their eyes met, and so much that had gone unsaid was communicated between them. "I want to try. When you and Inuyasha were small…I was sick so often, and your father worked too much. It's different now; I'm so much stronger. I want to raise a child the way I couldn't before, the _right_ way. I want to make it right. For Inuyasha."

He admitted his mother's depression was no longer a shroud covering them, and his father had ceased trying to control every aspect of all their lives, but he was unconvinced. The three of them lived together and did care for each other, but their unease shadowed constantly, an uneasiness that was a fact of life, a fourth inhabitant of the house. He tried reason. "Mother…how many charities are you involved with? Bridge, tennis, philanthropic luncheons. And Father still works thirty hours a week and has shareholder and board meetings fifteen times a month. I'm hardly ever here. How can we possibly integrate a child into our household?"

The truth made Rose Taisho's eyes fill with tears. "I'm certain between the three of us, we can manage. We can all stand to cut back on responsibilities and be at home more."

"But that's just it. If we were forced, we could make do, for Rin's sake. We are not being forced. This is a burden—"

"Do NOT call the child a burden," she reacted angrily.

"I'm sorry for the choice of words. But Mother, in the best interests of the girl, we should be working with Kagome Higurashi, not forcing her out of the picture. She knows Rin better than any of us and obviously cares for her. I know Father thinks the woman unfit, and I'll admit that she's unconventional, but…Mother I'm sorry. I don't want you to cry." She was beginning to sob.

"I know, I know," she said through tears. "I just…Inuyasha…I know I wasn't the best mother." She looked at him sadly. "I want to have a chance to do the right thing."

"Perhaps," he said slowly, "the right thing—"

"Good. I'm glad you two are up already." Grabbing a coffee cup, Ken Taisho sat with his wife and son. "Sesshoumaru after you left Arabesque, I instructed Kagura to make a settlement offer. Let's see how much it will take to buy this Higurashi woman off and make her go away. The last thing we want is for the arena project to be jeopardized. Kagura said she would take out an emergency protective order this morning—"

"Is that necessary? Those are for domestic violence situations," Rose asked with concern.

"I agree it seems extreme, but Kagura insisted. She also said Naraku has made it almost impossible for her to get a lease on an apartment and he's dug up some interesting information about her."

Sesshoumaru had heard enough. "Father, this is ridiculous. I cannot afford Kagura to antagonize her right now. The City Council is not cooperating, and there was another negative editorial in the paper today. Call Kagura and tell her a restraining order is absurd, and she should just wait on offering money. I don't know why you think Kagome Higurashi can be bought off. All you'll accomplish is insulting her." He paused, taking in the expression of surprise on his father's face. "Look," he continued angrily, "I wanted to remain uninvolved, but now I have no choice. You need to face the fact that it is possible that Kagome will win guardianship of the girl. If you want any relationship with Rin at all, the aunt is the pathway, but all you have done thus far is provoke the woman's hostility."

Ken Taisho hated being challenged. "Well, it's a little late to make nice now, isn't it?" he asked harshly. "I'm going to the office. Rose, the work on the guest house will be finished today. Get the landscapers out to fix the ruined lawn as soon as possible." He exited, but left a heavy tension hanging behind.

"It's time I left too, Mother," Sesshoumaru said, finishing his coffee.

Like father like son, Rose thought, running away from problems with family to bury themselves in work. She felt very alone. "Sesshoumaru, please wait a minute," she pleaded. "I need this child. She is my last link to Inuyasha. I failed him so miserably…with her I can make it up." Sesshoumaru saw strength and determination beneath the familiar sadness and vulnerability. "Please, I trust you. Fix this…mess."

He smiled gently at her. "I'll do what I can."

As his car sped down the drive, he glanced at the nearly finished guest house. A tree had fallen on it earlier that year during an unusually intense spring storm, crushing the roof, and the resulting water damage required an extensive renovation. The workers had done an amazing job, adding modern updates, an extra bedroom, and a solarium. Rather ironic, he contemplated, as they rarely had guests staying and the place would probably remain empty. A sudden idea, a solution to all their problems, flashed in his mind. No, he decided, banishing the thought. That would never work.

XxXxX

Rin and Kagome, curled up together on the couch, dog at their feet, were nearly done with the stack of story books next to them. Rin had been extra clingy since Kagome picked her up from Shippou's, shadowing her constantly and insisting on "helping" cut fabric, making the task all but impossible. Kagome almost lost her temper the third time Rin pulled on the slick, temperamental satin, but her own day was going so terribly she decided an afternoon of reading and cuddling would hopefully put her in a better mood. They had gone through all the books about a badger named Frances, Kagome's own favorite called _The Quiltmaker's Gift_, a book of goddess stories, and _Flower Fairies of the Spring_. "Alright honey, what's next, _There's a Nightmare in My Closet_ or _Green Eggs and Ham_?"

"Umm…can we watch a movie instead?" Rin asked hopefully. "And you can make popcorn."

Kagome shook her head. "How about after dinner. Jak's coming over any minute, and I don't want to put a movie on if we have to turn it off right away."

Rin suddenly perked up. Bank and Jak always brought her toys and candy sent from Japan by Bank's grandmother. "Why's Jak coming over?" Rin couldn't keep the eager curiosity from her voice.

"He tore his kimono and needs it mended before tomorrow night," she responded. Jak dressed up as a geisha on Saturday Drag Night at the local gay dance club, The Back Door. His alter ego, Onesan, had been the most popular attraction for almost a year, though his suggestive, flirtatious performance was anything but traditional. "What do you want to watch later?"

"_Kiki's Delivery Service_. Can you read more?" She picked up a book and handed it to Kagome.

"There used to be a nightmare in my closet," she began.

"Oh gawd, I was a total nightmare when I was in the closet," Jak proclaimed as he sauntered into the living room. "I let myself in. How are my two favorite girls? Hey Oberon, watch it," he said, defensively petting the giant head that was barreling into his crotch.

"Jak!" Rin bounded toward him like an excited puppy. "What did you bring me?"

He pulled something from his pocket. "Pure gold, deary. Japanese Kit Kat, it's soy sauce flavored."

Rin looked horrified, hoping he was joking. Jak's sense of humor had a mean streak nastier than her father's and Kagome's combined.

He laughed at the terror. "You aren't still holding that wasabi-flavored pocky incident against me? Honey, I've tried it, delicious; I promise."

Rin searched the packaging for evidence of a hoax as she unwrapped the candy. Finding none, she bravely took a bite. Her face lit up. "It tastes like pancakes!"

"Pancakes?" Kagome asked suspiciously. "Gimme some." Rin broke her off a chunk. "Dang, maple syrup. Who knew? Let's put the rest away until after dinner though."

Rin's expression of shocked disgust, as if Kagome had suggested flushing it down the toilet, almost made the two adults crack up. "Kah-gome," she whined, "that's a long time away."

"Rin Rin, remember what I said about whining.? It makes me want to break things," she said. "You can have the rest of that piece, then put the remainder in the kitchen. I'm going upstairs with Jak for a few minutes. We'll be right back."

"Thanks for fixing this rip. I wouldn't trust anyone else with such a delicate operation," Jak said as they walked up the steps to Kagome's work space.

Kagome examined the torn silk sleeve. "What the fuck did you do to this Jak? It's shredded."

He sighed. "I wish I could say it happened because of something interesting involving a spreader bar and strappado bondage, but alas nothing so fun. It got caught on a doorknob. Please tell me you can fix it, Kags. You're my miracle worker."

"This whole section will need to be replaced, but I should have enough of this silk left from when I made it originally. You're just lucky you didn't rip the embroidered area. There's no way in hell I'd have that ready by tomorrow. It'll take me…four hours? Is eighty bucks okay?"

He nodded gratefully. "You're a doll and a lifesaver." He kissed her cheek affectionately. "How you doing, honey?"

"Shitty, Jak, shitty. I accidentally yelled at the Taishos last night. Don't ask," she warned, noting his slack-jawed, scandalized face. "But my biggest problem is finding an apartment. I spent the whole fucking day looking at classified ads, making phone calls. I'm screwed, Jak. I won't _even_ get into the dog thing. The only apartments I can afford are two-bedrooms, which would be fine since there are only two of us, but I _need_ a three-bedroom. I have got to have a separate space for my fabric and machines. I can't afford the additional rent of a studio. Not to mention, lately the main time I get work done is after Rin goes to bed. I can't leave at night to go to a different studio. And all those two bedrooms I can afford…the landlords want first month, last month, security, and pet deposit. I have that much in the bank, but it would basically mean no money for groceries or gas until I get paid in two weeks from gallery sales. I talked to Eri, and she said it'll be a good-sized check, but…I'm scared, Jak," she confessed, breaking into tears.

He gathered weeping Kagome into his arms. "Whatever we can do to help, just ask."

"I know. It's just so hard. Kikyou was such a strong, steady presence. I feel like she's still with me, spiritually. Inuyasha…I miss him. So much," she cried. "His absence is physically painful. It _hurts_. I feel as though part of me has been cut off and I'll never get over it. Like he was the one who was my twin."

Jak just stroked her hair and let her cry. "Sweetie, you know how I felt about Inuyasha. As obnoxious and infuriating as he could be, he was one of the best people I ever knew. But you will get through this. How's Rin?"

"Kids are amazing. She gets sad, she cries, she gets over it. A little trooper. I wish I had her strength. So like her mother…" Kagome extricated herself. "Speaking of Rin, let's go back down. She can tell I'm upset and hasn't left me alone all day. She knows something's wrong, but I just think it's unfair to lay too much on her. Especially about the Taishos. She's asked about them, when she can see them again. It's all I can do to not tell her they are from _fucking_ hell. The shit that went on between Inuyasha and his parents is the past, and I always took everything he said with a grain of salt, but now I think they _are_ as bad as he said. And Sesshoumaru…I have no idea what to make of him. Inuyasha and his brother barely related to each other, but he always said that Sesshoumaru was a reasonable person. The insane thing…he had always wanted to set us up on a date."

"Oh the mind reels! You know I love Bank like the sun and the moon, but mmm girl—"

"Kagome!" Rin's voice rang out from below.

"Duty calls," Kagome smiled. "Thanks for the cry; after today, I needed it."

"Anything I can do," Jak said. "I just wish I could make it go away."

"I know. But short of handing me the winning lottery ticket, I'm at a loss. Pretty much the only thing I've got going for me is Rin, and even that may change."

"Now don't talk like that Kagome. Rin's not going anywhere." They walked down to the main part of the apartment. "I'll pick the kimono up on my way to The Door tomorrow, around six."

"That early? I didn't think you did anything on the weekends before the sun went down," Kagome teased.

He pushed her playfully. "I'm a queer, not a vampire. But yeah, the first show starts at nine. Do you have any idea how long it takes me to transform into Onesan? The makeup alone takes over an hour."

Rin overheard this. She knew Jak did something involving dressing up like a woman, but she had always been fuzzy on the details. "You wear makeup? Can I see?"

Jak thought about the atmosphere of The Back Door. It was dark, the exception being the flashing lights on the dance floor, loud, and populated mainly with individuals who, by necessity had to act straight to the outside world. When among their own, they tended to unleash with abandon. Leather, public intimacy, and extreme drunkenness were par for the course. Then there was the inevitable bachelorette party, often behaving more lewdly than the drunkest, horniest homos. He had heard groups of young women liked frequenting gay bars because the music was great and they didn't have to worry about fending off unwanted sexual advances, but he didn't believe it until he witnessed the phenomenon himself. From his experience though, he thought another reason was the exploration of their own desires. He couldn't count the number of times he saw a bride-to-be making out with a lesbian on the dance floor. "No, Rin, the place where I dance isn't for kids." She pouted. "I'll give you a private performance some day, how about that?"

Rin brightened. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart. Now I'm off. Love you two." He left, and Rin felt special.

XxXxX

Rin, operating on a small sleep deficit because of the previous night's sleepover, went to bed earlier than normal, and the repair of the kimono did not take as long as originally feared. It was only ten when Kagome made herself a drink and sat down at her computer to work on her column. She logged in and looked at her first email.

_Dear Scarlet, My friends have all told me my girlfriend is cheating on me. She comes home late after partying with her friends, but I can't help but think they are just jealous because they are total losers and I have a hot GF—_

"Clueless." NEXT

_Dear Scarlet, I am a gay man. My boyfriend has recently been having long weekends out of town with his ex-wife and their kids. She left him because she found out about us, but he still keeps me a secret (job-related issues) and doesn't—_

"Beyond clueless." NEXT

_Dear Scarlet, I need help and I don't know where else to turn. I've been dating this guy for a while and at first it was great. He's intelligent and funny and really good looking. A few months ago he expressed a desire for me to tie him to the bed and spank him_. Finally, Kagome thought, something I can sink my teeth into. _I was more than happy to indulge him, but lately I've been left unsatisfied. He wants me to be rougher and rougher to him and insult him and make him do demeaning things. At first it was fun and kinky, but I'm afraid of hurting him and it's not really in my nature to want to belittle someone. I really don't find it sexy at all. What makes it worse though, is he only wants to get tied up and paddled and pegged. He's not interested in fulfilling my needs in bed. I can't remember the last time we had intercourse and whenever I suggest plain old vanilla sex, he suddenly has a headache. The only time he gets an erection anymore is if I call him a lowly little worm while he's licking my sweaty, dirty feet. And yes, he prefers my feet that way. I've tried talking about it with him, but in the end he makes me feel guilty and unsupportive and prudish. I don't want to break it off because we have a good relationship otherwise and I don't think I'll ever find anyone as attractive as he is. What should I do? Signed, Dreaming of the Missionary Position_

Kagome squeezed her eyes tightly shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh, the humanity." She began typing her response.

_Dear Missionary, First do NOT feel guilty. If you have indeed indulged your partner's kinks like you described, you are neither unsupportive nor prudish. I know of no prudes who will don a strap-on for a rousing session of Bend Over Boyfriend. The two of you seem to have an interesting power dynamic at work. He is obviously turned on by submission, but is going after it in an aggressive and, frankly, asshole-ish way. You have just as much right to a satisfying sex life as he does, and you need to tell him that. You don't necessarily need to quit playing his way entirely, but maybe you two can integrate your desire for "normal" sex into it. Next time try __**demanding**__ he give you what you want. "And when you're done with my feet, you will fuck me senseless, you lowly worm!" If he is into submission it might do the trick. If he can't get it up in the hopes of accommodating your wants or won't even try, there is some underlying, troubling selfishness at work, which will undoubtedly rear its head in some other ugly way in the future. Unless he acknowledges your right to good sex, in whichever way pleases you, it may be time to end it, Missionary. I understand that you don't want to break up, and I will take your word for it when you assert your relationship is good. But your dissatisfaction will not suddenly disappear; it will breed resentment, a happiness killer if ever there was one. Not to mention his behavior and attitude is likely the tip of the Me Me Me Iceberg. As far as attractiveness…yes, tastiness is a good quality in a partner, but I would put it behind respectful, caring, and considerate._

She went on to the next entry.

_Dear Scarlet, My boyfriend had really long hair that I loved. It was his best feature, silky and golden blonde and sexy. He started a few weeks ago saying that he wanted to get it cut, that he was ready for a change. I told him he better not and that I would break up with him if he did. Well, he got it cut. Not super short, but it is no way as long as it used to be, and I just don't think he's as sexy any more. But the reason I'm so mad, is that I told him it would be over if he cut it, but he did anyway. I feel like he thinks his hair is more important than my feelings. What should I do? Signed, Wants Hairy BF Back _

As Kagome cracked her knuckles and pondered how to gracefully respond "You are failing at life; grow the fuck up!" her cell rang. The number seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it. "Hello?"

"Kagome, this is Sesshoumaru. I apologize for calling this late, but I assumed you'd be up, and we need to talk."

She held the phone away from her face and looked at it in disbelief. "Sesshoumaru…_who_? Because this can't possibly be Sesshoumaru Taisho, who should know that he's quite literally the last person on Earth I'd like to speak to."

"Kagome—"

"Listen jerk, I promised Miroku I wasn't going to talk to any of you. So if there's something you need to communicate, have your bitch-on-wheels lawyer call him."

"Kagura is my parents' lawyer, not mine," he said with forced calm. "I'd like to talk to you about finding a way out of this mess, without involving the attorneys."

She laughed sharply. "Do you think I'm fucking stupid? Why should I listen to a thing you have to say? Do you realize how impossibly difficult your family has made my life? I can't find an affordable place to fucking live, thanks to that thug of yours—"

"Kagome, I understand you're upset. You have every right to be, but I've been thinking about this all day, and you need to at least hear my offer."

"You cannot be serious! Are you trying to bribe me? Didn't you hear anything I said last night? There is no way in Hades I'm going to hand Rin over to be raised by you megalomaniacal asshats."

She heard the voice on the other end becoming more exasperated. "It's _not_ an offer of money. I think I know how we can work this out to benefit all of us. Will you please just meet with me?"

Kagome paused, thinking. "Alright, but I swear if you try anything…"

"Could you come over to my office tomorrow morning?"

"Are you kidding? Hell. No. Neutral territory. I'll meet you at Memorial Park, same spot."

"Is nine tomorrow morning acceptable?" Kagome could hear he was fighting not to lose his temper and smirked.

"No, I'm working late tonight, and something tells me I need to be firing on all cylinders when I deal with you. After lunch, noon or one."

"I'll see you at one. Don't be late." He hung up.

She fought the urge to call Miroku. This was definitely a new development, and she felt he should be told, but she knew what he would say. He would tell her that she was to, under no circumstances, go to the park at one tomorrow. But she was dying of curiosity to hear his offer.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, neither characters nor plots. Also no claim to South By Southwest, The Quiltmaker's Gift, the Frances the Badger series, Flower Fairies of the Spring, There's a Nightmare in My Closet, Green Eggs and Ham, Kiki's Delivery Service, Kit Kat, or Pocky. Thanks for reading!_


	7. An Offer She Couldn't Refuse

Sesshoumaru left his office at twenty before one the next afternoon in a foul mood. He had spent the majority of the morning on the phone, preventing him from doing any real work, he had no opportunity to eat lunch, and now he had to take time to meet with the one person who had dared speak to him with blatant disrespect in over a decade. Other than Inuyasha, of course. No one could get under his skin like his brother, though he had to admit that over the last several years, he could tell Inuyasha was becoming less resentful, more mature and responsible. He had even lent money to his brother two years prior, against his own better judgment, but Inuyasha made every payment on time. Despite the fact that they had not been in frequent contact and were never close, he still was having difficulties thinking about his brother in the past tense. Inuyasha had always been a fact of life; an annoyance to be sure, but they _were_ family.

He arrived at his destination a few minutes before one and walked down the main path which encircled the park. She'd better be punctual, he grumbled to himself, lamenting the time spent away from the office. Unfortunately Kagome Higurashi did not seem like the type to allow herself to be bullied, and he, convinced of the merits of his solution, hoped she was prepared to be reasonable and quickly accept his offer. He had too much going on at work to be absent longer than an hour. Sesshoumaru saw her; Kagome, dressed in a dark green, flowing sundress, almost blended into the grassy background. She was seated on a bench blowing bubbles for Rin, who giggled as she jumped and spun, popping bubbles.

"Do a big one!" the girl sang out. Kagome blew slowly, and the resulting bubble floated lazily away, followed by the mesmerized girl.

As Sesshoumaru watched them, he realized how little experience he had with children. His secretary occasionally brought her two young sons to the office, but they typically were more interested in riding the elevator than in interacting with him. His niece was a pretty little thing, he thought, her hair dark and shiny against her colorful tie-dyed T-shirt. Rin clapped her hands together, mercilessly destroying the thing she was so enamored with only moments before, then turned and noticed him.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru!" she squealed and skipped up the path to him.

"Hello, Rin. I wasn't expecting to see you. Shall we go join your aunt?" They walked to Kagome, who was putting the cap on the jar of bubble soap. "Rin, Kagome and I have some things to talk about. Can you go play somewhere else?"

Rin looked crestfallen. Kagome was furious. "Rin Rin," she said with pointed cheer, "first, show your uncle the loose tooth. I'm sure he'd like to see it."

Rin perked back up and opened her mouth, wiggling a bottom tooth. "Sthee, ith's weallwy loosth. Thisth top one'sth loosth too."

"I see," Sesshoumaru observed, "it's barely hanging on."

She stopped wiggling. "Kagome wants me to just pull it out. She keeps trying to trick me to eat an apple."

Kagome rumpled the girl's hair. "But you're too smart for me, aren't you?" She glared at Sesshoumaru. "Just hang on a minute." She took Rin's hand and led her several yards away, knelt down, and whispered in the child's ear. Rin studied him for a moment, then whispered back. Kagome kissed the pink little cheek, sending Rin racing to the playground. She stomped back to Sesshoumaru. "Would it kill you to be nice to her?" she stormed. "To fake a little interest? I know she's just a kid, and you're the All Mighty Sesshoumaru Taisho, but _shit_…"

He sighed heavily, hating to have his rudeness called out by the irritating woman in front of him. "What was that all about?" he asked impatiently.

Kagome narrowed her eyes. "Let's just call her my bomb sniffing dog. Or, if you prefer, my bullshit detector." He waited wearily for an explanation. "Rin kinda has this thing where she can tell what people's moods are. Some are easier for her to get a feel for than others, but she's pretty damn good at spotting duplicity. We called it her Spider Sense, though it really wasn't anything like that. More like…Deanna Troi, but without the boobs." He looked at her blankly. "_Next Generation_?" His expression didn't change. "Ohnevermind. Anyway…she said she didn't think you were lying, so I guess I'll hear you out." She crossed her arms in front and stared with a mixture of curiosity and hostility.

Sesshoumaru had never heard of anything so absurd, added total flake to his litany of complaints about Kagome's personality, and briefly considered just walking away. "Shall we?" he forced himself to ask, indicating the bench. As she sat, the long slit in her skirt parted the fabric, showing a great deal of leg. He saw they were incredibly long, toned and, always appreciative of gorgeous examples of this particular piece of anatomy, wondered how that physical attribute had escaped his notice until now. Probably because her attitude and general demeanor are so repellent, he decided. "Kagome, I believe I know of a way to end this ridiculous guardianship battle. This proposal would benefit all parties, secure our respective objectives, integrate common goals, and in the long term result in mutual—"

"Enough with the business-speak," she curtly interrupted. "Get to the point."

He seethed in anger. Apparently Kagome took a page from Inuyasha's book of How to Make Sesshoumaru Want to Kill Something. "You want to keep Rin, and you need a place to live. My parents want to have access to their granddaughter."

"I know this already, Sesshoumaru. But I'm not the one who started the fucking legal crap. I would never have denied your family access to Rin."

"Could you please refrain from interrupting until I've finished," he fumed. She made a zipping motion across her lips. "We have a guest house on our property. If you and Rin were to take up residence there, I feel this mess could be resolved. My mother would be able to help raise the child; your current housing troubles would be over."

She looked at him incredulously, mouth hanging open. "Yeah…" she said slowly, nodding, "because we all get along so well together. And you said logically, 'Let's be neighbors!'" She stood. "Are you fucking _insane_?"

She was singularly irritating. "Do you always curse so frequently, or am I uniquely privileged in exposure to your vulgarity?"

Kagome smiled, a wide, naughty-child of a smile. "Oh Sesshoumaru, you have _no_ idea of the depths to which my language can sink." She suddenly felt like flirting, an activity she enjoyed but hadn't done in almost two years, and was struck anew by his beautiful, masculine physique. "Or the filthiness of my mouth," she whispered throatily.

Sesshoumaru scowled. Something had palpably changed—she was taunting him—and he didn't like it. He stood, towering over her. "Can we stick to the topic at hand? I didn't come here to have my valuable time wasted. Just think about my idea. You'll have a free place to live."

"Oh yeah, just what I wanted to do today…become obligated to you people."

"It's not like that. The house is vacant; we wouldn't be put out. My mother can have Rin nearby, and my father can stop paying Kagura four hundred dollars an hour to get his hopes unrealistically high. You'd be the one doing us a favor. And I know for a fact that Inuyasha wanted to reestablish a relationship with my parents and let them get to know Rin."

"True…" Kagome conceded, "he did want that very much. But you realize, of course, it would mean fuck all to him if he knew you were trying to take his kid away from me."

"You're going to have to move anyway; why not into our guest house," he reasoned, "save some money until you're financially on your feet, and have help with childcare?"

Kagome was quiet a moment. "How do I know you aren't going to try to get Rin away from me at a later date? The thing I've got in my favor is continuity and stability. If we move onto your property, Rin establishes relationships with you all…I've got no more trump card."

"I give you my word; no one will try to gain guardianship of Rin."

"And would you and you parents be willing to sign that waiver?"

"I'll remind you," he said evenly. "I've already signed. As for my parents, I think I can convince them."

She looked at him dubiously. "What exactly _is_ in it for you?"

"This has been an unwelcome distraction for the family and my mother's been through enough with Inuyasha's death, but…I want your word that you won't speak or blog negatively about my family."

"Ahh…the arena. So that threat hit home, did it? So nice to see your priorities," Kagome said sarcastically. "Have you told your parents about this offer of good will?"

"Not yet," he admitted.

"And what makes you think they'll go for it?"

He sighed, not exactly sure of the veracity of his forthcoming response. "My father is the one calling the shots, but I think if I can convince my mother, it will work. He only wants her to be happy. Unfortunately he thinks he knows better than anyone how to do that and is often incorrect in his assumptions."

Kagome smiled softly. "Yeah, Inuyasha said that a lot. He also said your dad is the most stubborn person on the face of the Earth, which, coming from him, who could hold his own in pigheadedness, is quite a statement."

"Look at me!" shouted Rin, playing on the monkey bars, drawing the two adults' attention toward the playground.

Sesshoumaru looked at his watch. "I need to get back to work."

Kagome grabbed his arm. "Can you stay another few minutes? The past week she's been able to cross the big monkey bars in one go, and she's pretty proud. It would make her day if you witnessed it and gave her props."

"I can spare five minutes," he said, eyes on the cute, happy girl.

"Thanks. And I'll think about your offer. I'll call you."

XxXxX

"Kagome do you think that's a good idea?" Sango asked her friend. "Living next to people you can't stand?"

They were sipping Chardonnay on Sango and Miroku's back patio, the latter homeowner out for ice cream with Rin. "I don't see I have much choice," Kagome replied.

They had all just finished eating dinner together, Rin said she saw her uncle in the park, and Kagome, busted, decided it was as good a time as any to disclose her conversation with Sesshoumaru. Miroku was not nearly as angry as she thought he'd be; he calmly expressed his doubts about the wisdom of the plan and confusion that she was actually considering it, then decided the best option was to leave with Rin, hoping his wife could talk sense into their friend.

"I'm desperate."

Sango was concerned; desperation was not something to which Kagome, always creative in her approach to problems, would readily admit. "How desperate?"

"Desperate. As shit. Looking at ads for apartments, making phone calls have been practically a full-time job, and I've come up empty. In fact when I got home from the park today I found two messages on my voice mail saying the apartments I looked at yesterday are no longer available. I have to move soon, barely started packing, and I don't even have a place to go. So yeah, desperate. As fucking shit."

"But Kagome…you love this neighborhood, the diversity, the cast of characters. You'll hate the homogeny of the west end of town. Come on Kagome, The Country Club Set, Ladies Who Lunch? You'll be miserable. I'm worried it will crush your spirit."

Kagome glowered. "Do you really regard my spirit so dismissively? I can handle whatever the Idle Rich decide to throw my way. The Ladies Who Lunch won't know what hit 'em."

Sango had to smile. "I take it back. No offense intended."

"But my spirit is a big reason why I'm seriously considering this. I can barely get any work done now that Rin's home from preschool. She starts summer camp soon, and that will help, but it only lasts for a few weeks. The only time I can work is at night, consequently I don't get any sleep. And you _know_ how I like my sleep. On top of that I've got to start rehearsing with Arrow soon. I can't keep burning the candle on both ends much longer," she admitted morosely, shaking her head. "If we move into the Taisho's guest house, I'll have help with Rin, won't have to worry about the housing situation, and the guardianship headache…_migraine_ will go away. If the place is big enough, I might even be able to finally get my loom out of the University's Art Department. Lately I've been worried I won't be able to weave again until Rin is in kindergarten."

"I guess put that way I can see your point. I just wish there was some magic…_thing_ I could do to make it all better."

"There's not, but I've overcome worse than this."

"You have, haven't you," Sango said softly. They were silent for a few minutes, reflective.

"Is Miroku pissed at me?"

"I don't think so. He doesn't do angry all that well. Probably more relieved…he said you were a terrible client and if you were anyone else, he'd have gotten out already," Sango giggled.

"Hey, don't sound so amused!" Kagome protested.

"I think he was honestly worried about your friendship. About this living arrangement, of course he's not upset. Just apprehensive, as I am," Sango said gently.

"Well, stop fretting. I'll deal. And if it sucks, I can move again, but I'd be able to take my time finding a different place."

Sango refilled their glasses. "What do you think they're like, the Taishos?"

"Inuyasha said his family was beyond fucked up. Knowing him and his ability to exaggerate, I tended to give them the benefit of the doubt, but now…hell, who knows? Probably typically wealthy. More money than taste. More money than sense."

"You know you're stereotyping," Sango chided. "So…living next to the god that is Sesshoumaru…maybe you can end your sexual drought."

Kagome scoffed. "I wouldn't go near him for all the tea in China; he's so stoic, I doubt he has a heartbeat. The man must eat Botox for breakfast or bathe in it or something," she said, writing off her earlier urges to flirt, "though I swear he was checking out my legs today. Guys are SO predictable. And, by the way, it's chosen celibacy, not a drought. I do not need a witness to my orgasms," she added dryly. "Besides, my imaginary version of Sesshoumaru is by far more preferable to the flesh and blood one."

"Oh, and what's he like?" Sango teased.

"Mmm, Imaginary Sesshoumaru is naked and has a personality," she smirked.

"He just may surprise you, you know," Sango laughed. "Think of the possibilities, Kagome…Non-Battery-Powered Sex."

"Never happen," Kagome said, ignoring her friend's clear implication that she needed to get laid.

XxXxX

As Kagome drove through Redgrave Hill, the city's most affluent of the older neighborhoods, an increasingly excited Rin could barely sit still. Kagome, not wanting to disappoint the girl if things didn't work out, tried to keep her in the dark about the possibility of moving onto the Taisho's property, and so merely described their trip as a visit. It was sufficient fuel; Rin spent the morning babbling about her Uncle Sesshoumaru, asking what was the house like, how long would they stay, how often would they go back.

Now they both marveled at the beautiful houses and winding, tree-lined roads and boulevards. "Honey, chill. You're distracting me." She looked at the scrap of paper with the scribbled address again. "Arborview Drive. This is it," she said, turning onto another curvy street, drawing them further into the maze-like neighborhood. "Thank god for Google Maps. Let's see…14639 Arborview. Here it is." Kagome drove up the long entrance to the Taisho mansion, truly impressed by the grounds. There was a tall wrought iron fence circling the property, which seemed to cover at least a few acres, but the thing that struck Kagome was the size and variety of trees. Horse chestnuts and tulip trees were flowering; ginkgos and oaks towered.

"Damn," Kagome said under her breath, as they went past a group of trees and the house became visible. It was magnificent. A huge ivy-covered Tudor Revival, the asymmetrical mansion was mostly brick, but many of the higher gables were comprised of exposed half-timber framing and stucco. Groups of multi-paned windows were everywhere, the main part of the house in fact seeming to be almost entirely made of glass. It was crowned by an impossibly steep grey slate roof, shining copper gutters and downspouts accentuating the angled lines, with eaves extending down close to the ground in some areas and incredibly tall, narrow chimneys.

"Kagome," Rin whispered, "it looks like a house from a storybook." She snapped out of her enchantment. "Letmeout! LetmeoutletmeOUT!" she screeched, bouncing against the restraints of her safety seat belts. Kagome slid open the door of her minivan and swore the girl was vibrating with scarcely contained enthusiasm.

"Rin Rin, look at me. Look at me!" she commanded. "You _need_ to settle down. We are guests here; mind your manners." Rin nodded solemnly as her aunt unbuckled her. Freedom won, she ran and twirled, arms outspread, to the front door, looking to all the world like a child tornado.

"KAHgome! You're too slow!"

Kagome rolled her eyes and followed quickly. So much for minding one's manners; Rin's attention span was notoriously short when she was excited. She approached the heavy, dark wood door, raised and dropped the knocker. After a moment the door was opened by Rose Taisho.

"Uhh, I hope you knew we were coming," Kagome sputtered, expecting to see Sesshoumaru. She thought Inuyasha's mother, wearing a prim black dress, the most elegant person she'd ever laid eyes on.

"Of course, welcome to our home," Rose greeted warmly. Sesshoumaru appeared behind his mother.

"Kagome, Rin, thank you for coming," he said. "I hope you found the place without difficulty."

"All good," Kagome replied. "I've had a few clients in this neighborhood over the years." Her discomfit with the situation was rapidly fading.

"Rin," Rose said, bending down, "Sesshoumaru wants to show your auntie something out back. How would you like to come have cookies and milk with me?"

Rin looked up at Kagome, hope writ plain on her face. Kagome smiled indulgently and nodded, then watched the two disappear, leaving her alone with Sesshoumaru. She noted his dark linen pants and cobalt silk shirt. They _must_ be tailored, she reflected, observing the effortless way his clothes fit his tall, broad frame. She shook her head to clear it. "Rin's beside herself. I didn't tell her much, but she could barely sleep last night after I mentioned we'd be paying a visit today."

"Let's go around this way to the back, and I'll show you the guest house," he said, shutting the door behind him.

They walked together down the stone path that encompassed the house, and she ooed appreciatively at the beautiful oakleaf hydrangeas growing in the shade. Sesshoumaru glanced at Kagome's denim-clad legs as she walked in front of him and thought that perhaps they were even longer and shapelier than he surmised the day before. Her whole body was long and slender, willowy and graceful, with lovely, curvy hips providing a feminine contrast to her lithe, athletic build. He mentally kicked himself; apparently it had been too long since he had gotten out of the office.

They walked around the outside of the mansion, then Kagome stopped short when she saw the guest house. It was Tudor like the main residence, but looked like a quaint English cottage, complete with red roses climbing up a trellis. Sesshoumaru pushed the door open, and they entered. Kagome tried to act nonchalantly as she saw the spacious entryroom, but, as they progressed, the kitchen was her undoing. It was a dream come true. The huge windows, granite countertops, and stainless Viking Professional Series Range and Designer Refrigerator called to her like a lover. A lover she could never afford in a million years.

"Jesus Cartwheeling Christ! Are you people fucking made of money? This is the best kitchen I've ever seen!" She ran her hands along the cool granite, sighing in bliss.

"Do you speak this way around Rin?" he frowned.

"Not on purpose," Kagome answered playfully. "Show me more!"

There were two large bedrooms facing each other across the hallway, an enormous bathroom with a steam shower and luxurious whirlpool tub that made Kagome want to throw off her clothes, and a third bedroom that would work perfectly for her studio. Sesshoumaru gestured to a door. "That leads to the attic. The ceiling is too steeply pitched to make it very practical, but it can be used for storage or a playroom." They turned a corner and entered the newly finished solarium. Kagome's jaw dropped; she was speechless as she imagined how perfectly her loom would fit and envisioned herself weaving on sunny mornings and starry nights.

"I'll take it!" she screamed, jumping up and down, hugging him. "Oh, sorry," she apologized, seeing his scandalized expression. "It's just so perfect. I couldn't dream up anything more perfect. Rin's gonna go crazy! I'm going crazy! It's so…perfect!" She hugged him again, then ran back down the hall into the heavenly kitchen.

Sesshoumaru followed slowly, taken aback by Kagome's vivacious display. She was half lying on the counter, cheek pressed against the smooth surface, caressing with her hands. "You're not very inhibited are you?" he commented.

She straightened, a devilish look in her eyes. "Nah. I'm not known for my restraint. Oh my GOD! Is that a built-in wine refrigerator?"

Sesshoumaru interrupted her delirious examination of the appliances. "We'll order furniture tomorrow—"

"I've got my own furniture, so don't worry about it. With all the change Rin's been through, keeping her own bed and stuff will at least be _something_ constant." Kagome realized a matter had been neglected. "Oh, I should tell you…I've got a dog."

Sesshoumaru frowned; this was not good news. "That's a problem. My father will have a hard enough time accepting this arrangement. He doesn't like animals." He briefly recalled his childhood obsession with getting a dog and his father's steadfast refusal. It was one of the few times he and Inuyasha called a truce and joined forces, in the hopes that they would end up with a canine companion. They had even worked out a program of taking turns sleeping with the wished-for dog, but their dreams never came to fruition. Ken Taisho's stubborn dislike outlasted Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's combined effort.

"Sorry, dog's a deal breaker. Oberon is family; where we go, he goes." She paused. "Where is your dad anyway? Does he know about this yet?"

"My father is golfing, and no, I felt it best he remain unaware until I knew your answer."

"Delaying the inevitable?" she teased lightly. "That doesn't sound like you?"

His eyes narrowed at her familiar tone. "Just think of it as strategic planning. The painters will be here later in the week. Do you have any specific colors you want or don't want?"

"Oh I'll paint. I love painting, and that way I can pick out colors myself."

"Kagome, you don't need—"

"I know I don't need to; I _want_ to. We can come over during the day, I'll paint, and Rin can have a chance to get used to you. Say, that reminds me. I need to be clear about this. I'll need help. We are going to have to coordinate schedules and work together. I'm used to having downstairs neighbors who helped a lot, not to mention all the friends I have within shouting distance. I know you are busy, but I'm not gonna do it all myself."

Sesshoumaru bit back a retort. Her bossiness was wearing his patience thin. "We will work it out."

"Another thing… Rin's a great kid, and for whatever reason she thinks you're the bee's knees. I won't let her be ignored by you, especially living this close now. It would really hurt her feelings. So like it or not, you're due for a crash course on childrearing."

As if I don't already have enough to deal with, he thought, then remembered he had a lot to do at the office. "I've got to go to work. Are we done?"

"You work on a Sunday? Just like Inuyasha always said," she remarked, shaking her head.

"And what exactly did my brother always say?" he asked in spite of himself.

"That you don't have a life outside work," she replied.

There was a sudden voice in his ear. _Shit Sesshoumaru, you work more than Dad. If you don't learn to relax and get a life outside work, you'll end up having a heart attack like him too_. "Mind your own business, Kagome." They walked out into the morning sunshine. "How many keys do you want?"

"Oh, let's see…I'll need three for myself. I've got a tendency to lose keys," she confided. "And I'd like to give one to Sango…in case. So four."

"There's no boyfriend?"

"Nope. I don't date. Shall we go tell Rin?" she asked brightly.

He wondered about the no dating statement. He had always been under the impression from conversations with his brother that Kagome had an active sex life. Banishing the thought, he reminded himself he didn't care about the details of this woman's personal habits. She was an irritant, and the further he could distance himself from her, the better.

XxXxX

_I do not own Inuyasha, nor do I claim ownership of any Marvel abilities, Star Trek characters, Botox, Google Maps,or Viking appliances. Reviews, as always, are encouraged and appreciated._


	8. Paint, A Visit, and A GapToothed Smile

"Can I really have whatever color I want for my new bedroom?" Rin asked with hushed awe, as she scanned the paint color samples at the hardware store. They had stopped there on their way home from visiting the Taishos, intending to purchase paint and supplies, so Kagome could start as soon as possible.

"Yeah, honey," Kagome replied. "As long as it's not too headache inducing. Nothing that reminds me of fake cheese or Pepto Bismol." She knelt down and looked in Rin's eyes. "Colors, my dear, are the palette of life. By evoking a mood or triggering a memory, they can influence the way you feel. For example, something cheerful and happy, like bright yellow, would be good for the kitchen, and something mellow would be nice for the bathroom, like muted teal," she explained, envisioning herself relaxing in the huge tub, candlelight flickering peacefully off the freshly painted walls. "Anyway you're going to have to see this every day, so choose wisely. Don't pick anything you're likely to be sick of in a few weeks."

"What's teal again?" Rin thought she knew, but liked to cover her bases.

Kagome stood and went to the swatches. "Blue green...green blue." She pulled out an example and showed her niece. "Like this." She glanced at the names of the slightly differing shades. "Lilypad. Cool Mountain. Reflecting Pool. Wishing Well. Who names these things?" She plucked the narrow strips of stiff paper from the rack with abandon, accumulating several dozen in under a minute. "Cherry On Top. Queen of Hearts," she recited the titles on the red swatch. "Superhero? _Swashbuckler_?" Switching to yellow she read, "Copper Reflection. Gold Coin." She continued, then mentally tried to predict the names. Over-Ripe Banana...Bright Mustard, she guessed. "Summer Squash. Bright Mustard! Damn, I'm good at this!"

Kagome perused the samples, her fascination with the names frequently distracting her from the stated goal of choosing room colors. After twenty minutes of silence—interrupted occasionally by snorts punctuated with "Pfft...Dry Martini. Swaying Pines. Crushed Silence. What the hell kind of color is that?" and "Pang of Loneliness? What_ever_. Cracked Porcelain. Anatomy of Gray? Good god!"—she selected Bright Mustard for the kitchen; Shadowed Meadow for the bath; a soft, neutral Waterfall Mist for her studio; and a lovely, grayish mauve called Cobweb Rose for her bedroom. The living room color, a toss-up between gentle earth-tones Empty Nest and Cocoa Crumb, would be a last-minute decision.

"Rin Rin," she said, waking up from her color-fueled reverie, "wha'd'ya come up with?"

Rin, standing quietly, held up a sample of off-whites. "The top one," she answered, uncharacteristically shy.

Kagome took the proffered card and read, "Silver Moon. Are you sure?" she asked with concern. "It's kinda boring, isn't it?"

"It's the color of Daddy's hair," Rin said softly.

Kagome's breath caught in her throat. It was. The exact color of Inuyasha's hair. Suddenly the loss of Inuyasha, who was as much a part of her as Kikyou, hit her like a deluge of Midnight Thunderstorm and Melancholy Shower combined. Her eyesight clouded with tears as she sank to the floor, gathered the child into her arms, and quietly let loose her grief.

Rin, conscious of the public exposure, didn't let her aunt sob her usual five to ten minute interval. "Kagome, I'm sorry," Rin apologized in a frantic whisper. "I didn't mean to make you sad. I'll let you pull out my tooth if you want."

Kagome sniffed loudly after briefly squeezing the girl tight. "Honey, you didn't make me sad. You are the one thing that always makes me happy, with or without teeth. Besides," she said, wiping her eyes, "I haven't cried in a couple days; I was due for a good one." She stood again, more composed. "I love you, you beautiful, sensitive, observant thing." Empty Nest was no longer in consideration, based on name alone. "Let's buy some paint."

XxXxX

Kagome took a deep breath of tired accomplishment as she surveyed Kikyou and Inuyasha's now empty room. She had just finished packing their clothes and toiletries to be brought to the storage unit, and it hadn't taken her all that long, despite getting sidelined by looking at their erotica for an extended period and trying to decide whether she should pack it or add it to her own collection, filling in some missing areas. Her sister and brother-in-law had been heavily into bondage and dominance and submission play, more than she had ever been, even before the thing she and her close friends referred to as The Incident, which, six years, earlier had so thoroughly changed her life. "Do I have time before Rin comes back to pack Inuyasha's office," she wondered aloud. Her cell began to ring and vibrate just as she pulled it from her pocket to check the hour. It was Sesshoumaru.

"Hello?" She was unsure if it was safe to trust him; in fact the idea that he was suddenly an ally was slightly off-putting.

"Kagome, I've been at a meeting in your neighborhood and thought I'd drop off the keys to the guest house, if you're available."

"Yeah, I'm here. Come on over."

"Your address?"

"Oh. 1011 South Third. There's a For Sale sign in the yard. The entrance is on the left."

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

Kagome hoped Rin, at the park with the downstairs neighbors, would return soon. She'd be devastated to learn she missed her uncle.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru arrived at the house, a large, elegant example of the Victorian architecture typical of that found in the neighborhood, though this was in much better condition than many. The owner must be someone other than one of the numerous absentee landlords who had allowed the historic neighborhood to fall into squalor for so many years, he thought. He went around the side to find Kagome, dressed in baggy shorts and a tank top, long legs crossed, waiting on the step and watching a huge black dog as it chased a squirrel around the back of the building.

Kagome saw him and rose. "Hi. I need to warn you...my dog is well-behaved and super friendly, but _really_ doesn't like strangers, especially of the male persuasion. Feels like he needs to guard me until he satisfies himself that I'm not being threatened," she explained. "He won't attack or anything, but he might bare his teeth and growl."

Sesshoumaru said nothing, his face its usual mask of impassivity.

"Oberon, come!" she yelled.

The Wolfhound came bounding back and stopped next to Kagome. The shoulders almost came up to her waist, he observed, further emphasizing her waifishness. Sesshoumaru stretched his hand out, and the dog approached tentatively, sniffing with care, then wagged vigorously, like he had just been reunited with his long-lost best friend.

"Huh. I'll be dipped in shit," Kagome said in disbelief. "That's a first. He never warms so quickly to strangers. You must smell like Inuyasha."

"I do not smell like Inuyasha," he frowned.

"Jeez, I didn't mean it as an insult," she retorted, rolling her eyes. "Just that you two are brothers. You're similar genetically, so it would make sense that you smell at least a bit alike." She watched as Oberon leaned against Sesshoumaru, nudging his hand until it scratched behind his ears, all the while wagging violently. "The dog and Inuyasha were great friends. I sprained my ankle last year, so for the better part of a month Yasha was the one to take him running. They were inseparable until I was back on my feet. Inuyasha liked to say he was half dog...not sure what the other half was."

Sesshoumaru looked into the trusting, brown canine eyes, which closed in ecstasy as the scratching continued. "Does he know any tricks?"

Kagome laughed. "Does clearing a coffee table with one wag of the tail count? How about being able to reach things on the top of the refrigerator? He's a Wolfhound, not a Border Collie. His main goal in life is to find the most comfortable spot on the couch, not to prove that he's smarter than an honor student." She smiled softly as she watched them. "He knows basic commands, Sit and Lie Down. And one of the first things I taught him was Drop It; he has a disturbing fondness for road kill."

The petting immediately ceased. "Lovely," Sesshoumaru said with mild disgust. The dog continued to nudge him.

"He really likes you. Maybe you were some kind of dog spirit god thingy in a past life," Kagome teased.

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed, pulling keys from his pocket and handing them to her. "I need to get back to my office."

She accepted the keys and asked, "Can you come up for a minute? I have something to give you."

He sighed impatiently. "I really should be go—"

"Oh come on, Workaholic," she interrupted, twining her arm around his and steering him through the open door, to be followed by the dog.

Sesshoumaru scowled, but allowed himself to be led up the stairs, attributing his compliance to unfamiliarity with such stubborn, playful insistence and her soft, feminine form so near to him. Upon entering the apartment, she let him go, and he was surprised to see the place was large, tidy, and comfortable. He hadn't known what to expect, never having given a great deal of thought to Inuyasha's home life, but this certainly was not it. There was a plethora of art–paintings, charcoal sketches, photographs, ceramics–adorning the walls and nearly every horizontal surface, making him feel he had just walked into a very cozy gallery.

"Quite a collection," he commented, appreciatively examining a nude ink drawing, the graceful, reclining figure apparently blindfolded. The initials kh were in the bottom right corner. "Did you do this?"

Kagome noticed the object to which his attention was directed. "Yeah, it's Kikyou. I gave it to Inuyasha for his birthday a few years ago."

"You have some wonderful pieces."

"Thanks. One of the benefits of knowing artists is the vibrant barter and trade system. Comes in handy since few of us have much disposable income. I may not have a 401K, but I've got killer art. It's in here."

He followed her into a room at the end of the corridor. The walls were covered in horror movie posters and monster masks. There was a computer on a desk, a file cabinet, and a bookcase full of titles such as _The Complete Night of the Living Dead Filmbook _and _Ray Harryhausen: An Animated Life_. This room, clearly belonging to Inuyasha, was much more like what he expected.

"Yasha's office. He had a love of all things creepy, but his true passion was zombies."

"I've always found that odd," Sesshoumaru said. "He was afraid of all that when we were kids."

A sudden memory filled his thoughts. They were perhaps aged eleven and eight and had persuaded the housekeeper to let them watch _A Nightmare on Elm Street _on cable one evening when their parents were out. Inuyasha woke up screaming that night, terrified. Sesshoumaru remembered his father's tired rebuke of "Get back in bed; you're not a baby anymore" and "That's what you get for watching that garbage." A minute later his bedroom door opened a crack, and a sniffling Inuyasha whispered, "Hey, 'shoumaru? Are you awake? Can I sleep in here?" He pretended to be asleep, knowing that he should offer comfort to his younger brother, but he was angry with Inuyasha for letting out the secret that they had watched something they shouldn't have and that now the housekeeper would be reprimanded and the cable cut off. He felt Inuyasha curl up at the foot of his bed and was silent, but after a minute, handed his brother the extra pillow.

"Well, I guess he made peace with his demons, because he lived for this shit," she said, bringing him back to the present. "This room is next on my packing agenda. A lot of it is worth money; he's got a bunch of first edition comics, and the autographed Harryhausen memorabilia will be especially valuable some day, but I'll leave it for Rin to decide what to do with it when she's older."

She handed him two large shoe boxes. "There's a bunch of Mother's Day and Father's Day and birthday cards. I'm sure there's old pictures of Rin and letters too. They all came back marked Return To Sender, but he kept them. I'd like your parents to have them, and I figured it'd be easier for them to accept coming from you and not me."

He was impressed by her thoughtfulness. "You're being awfully considerate to people you were just cursing out a few days ago."

She smiled. "Yeah, well we're going to be neighbors now, and I prefer harmony to strife. But more than that, it's honoring Inuyasha's wishes. He was my best friend and an amazing guy," she sighed wistfully. "He didn't throw them away for a reason. I'd like to forget about the past couple of weeks, hell the past seven years. At least for Rin's sake. You're her family."

"Thank you," he said honestly.

"You're welcome," she replied, almost feeling, but for his impenetrable expression, they could be having a moment. "Out of curiosity, how'd your dad handle the news that we'll soon be taking up residence on his property?"

"We have his approval," Sesshoumaru replied, somewhat glossing the truth.

His father had been livid, turned beet red, then, in typical form, self-righteously walked away. He returned a few minutes later and curtly informed his wife and son that they were responsible for telling Kagura. When Sesshoumaru informed Kagura that her services would no longer be required, she ranted and raved, stopping short of prostrating herself in supplication, and only left after obtaining a guarantee that he would at the very least take her out to dinner to soothe her battered feelings. He cursed his father for further complicating his already busy schedule. Kagura's fawning attention irritated him to no end, and she was hardly his ideal dinner companion.

"Well thanks for bringing the keys. I'll start painting tomorrow and should finish by the end of the week...if I can get some damn help from my lazy-ass friend Jak. I also need to finish packing Kikyou and Inuyasha's stuff and get it to the storage shed...hopefully this weekend, then start moving our things next week. Holy Shit!" she exclaimed, rubbing her temples. "Not sure when I'm gonna fit sleeping into all this. Rin starts summer camp at her preschool next week, so that will help–"

As if on cue, they heard the door open and quick footsteps on the stairs.

"Kagome," Latrisha shouted from the door, "Rin's back; are you there?"

"Yeah honey, I'm here. Thanks for taking her!" Kagome called back.

Moments later Rin, dirty and sweaty, appeared in the doorway, shocked delight writ large and clear on her face, as though she had walked in on Kagome taking tea with Santa and the Easter Bunny.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru!" she squeaked and ran toward them.

Kagome intercepted the filthy little body before it came in contact with Sesshoumaru's immaculate beige pants and white linen shirt. "Looks like someone had fun at the playground," she said, spinning the child around and redirecting her through the door. "Go wash your hands and change your clothes quick, then you can show Sesshoumaru you-know-what." Rin ran away obediently. "Her tooth finally came out this morning," she whispered. "I hope you can stay another couple minutes, just so she doesn't feel like you're avoiding her. Oh...why don't you take this too." She picked up a framed photo from the desk and laid it on top of the shoe boxes.

It was a picture of him and his brother; both dressed in dark suits, the latter looking like a half-drunk, happy fool. After a moment he registered the scene; it was Inuyasha's wedding. The other photographs on the desk were of Kikyou and Rin, Kikyou and Kagome, and his parents. "Did he really have this on his desk?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah, I know you two could barely stand talking to each other, but he did love you as a brother. Don't get me wrong," she added quickly, noting his skeptical expression. "He thought you were an uptight asshole with a pitiful social life. He hadn't had a very high opinion of the 'air-head, socialite bimbos' you dated." Kagome saw his face turn from disbelief to anger and knew she was treading dangerously. "But he did respect you a great deal. And he was especially grateful that you didn't shun him like your parents did."

"Hn," he responded neutrally. It was apparent that Kagome knew more about him than he of her, and that fact annoyed him. He was used to being at an advantage with everyone he came in contact and loathed the teasing familiarity Kagome radiated, both on general principle and in practice.

Rin rushed in, wearing a hastily thrown on sundress and grinning from ear to ear. "Notice anything different about me?" she asked eagerly.

Sesshoumaru set the boxes on the desk and crouched down. He made a great show to examine her up and down, even taking her hands and turning them over, until he finally looked her full in the face. He had to admit, she was a precious girl, and he loved seeing Taisho eyes, both the shape and color, in the tiny, female face. "Why Rin, you seem to be missing something."

"You noticed! I KNEW you would!" She threw her arms around his neck, and he caught her. It shocked him briefly to realize he had probably never held a child before, and the vulnerable smallness of her surprised him, as did the strength of the grip around his neck. They were interrupted by the sounds of someone breaking into tears.

"Oh don't mind me," Kagome choked out. "You two just look so...adorable." She rushed out, sobbing.

Sesshoumaru let Rin go and stood, somewhat concerned.

"Don't worry, Uncle Sesshoumaru," Rin assured him, rolling her eyes. "She does that all the time. It's her happy cry. I can tell when she's really, really sad. Can you stay for lunch?"

He smiled softly. "Not today, Rin. I have got return to work. But soon, I promise, and often."

XxXxX

Kagome had edged and applied the first coat of paint in both bedrooms, impressed by Rin's ability to entertain herself while simultaneously not making a mess. She knew it couldn't last; once the attention span had reached its limit, paint would fly. Rin was helping Kagome clean the brushes and rollers in the kitchen sink, when they heard a soft knock at the front door.

"Come in," Kagome called over her shoulder.

Rose Taisho, dressed in a navy tennis dress, entered slowly, and Kagome was amazed that, even so attired, the older woman looked like she had just stepped off the pages of _Town and Country._

"Ms. Higurashi, Rin, good afternoon. Do you have everything you need?"

"We're good, thanks," Kagome answered, grabbing Rin around the waist to prevent her from running away before the paint could be washed from her hands. Once clean, Rin was set free and went straight to her grandmother to show off the new hole in her smile.

"My goodness, how sweet. Hmmm...maybe not. It makes you look mischievous," Rose teased gently.

"Wanna see what the tooth fairy left me?" She dug in her pocket and pulled out an object that she proudly displayed on her palm.

"What a beautiful bead," Rose observed with surprise.

"My friend, Shippou, got money from the tooth fairy, but I like my bead. Kagome said once all my baby teeth are gone I'll have enough beads to make a bracelet."

"Such a clever tooth fairy you have, darling." She smoothed the girl's hair and straightened. "Rin, one of my favorite things to do is to care for my roses. Some of my flowers have won awards. Will you let me show you some of them?"

Rin glanced at Kagome, who smiled and made shooing motions with her paint splattered hand, and then nodded vigorously.

"Go through the door and follow the path; it will take you straight to them. I need a word with your auntie. I'll be right behind you."

Rin skipped out of the house happily; she was getting sick of being careful around the paint.

"Ms. Higurashi," Rose Taisho began, "I'd like to thank you for the contents of the boxes you gave us. It is a treasure beyond price. I've only been able to arrange them in chronological order and read the first few thus far, but I'm ever so grateful for your generosity."

"Start, please, by calling me Kagome. And all I did was set them aside and give them to Sesshoumaru. But you're welcome."

"Ms. Hig–Kagome, may I ask you something?"

"Certainly," she answered, disconcerted by the woman's contrite, curious tone.

Rose Taisho heaved a sigh. "I have regrets too numerous to count regarding both my sons' childhoods. We were, at times, not the happiest of families, and I fear Inuyasha often suffered the most."

Kagome merely nodded. This was not news to her. Inuyasha hadn't spoken of his upbringing frequently, but she knew a profoundly unhealthy household when one was being described.

"I just need to know...was he happy? As an adult, married to your sister, was he happy?"

The older woman's eyes filled with tears, though, strangely, Kagome's stayed dry. "He missed all of you, and the troubles between you bothered him a lot, but he loved you, and yes, he was very happy."

"Thank you," Rose Taisho said, wiping her eyes quickly. "Your words are a gift. I do mean that. I loved Inuyasha, but I failed him. In more ways than one. I, we...both Ken and I hope to make amends. It is late in coming, but no less heartfelt. I'm just glad that he found happiness with your sister. And you. I know you two were close."

She went to follow Rin, leaving Kagome bewildered at the level of angst in the woman's honest admission.

XxXxX

Kagome handed Sango a glass of wine and sprawled on the couch next to her as dulcet tones of Yo Yo Ma playing Bach wound peacefully around Kagome's living room, the cello caressing them like an ardent lover. The music soothed, aiding their blissful relaxation after a busy day.

"I found my ideal career," Kagome said languidly, eyes closed.

Sango smiled dreamily. "Better than professional restaurant patron?" It was what Kagome had always said was her true calling.

"Well...no." Kagome perked up slightly. "I want to be the person that names paint colors."

Sango snorted, then laughed. "As Inuyasha said, so many times, you are the Queen of Random."

"It'd be so great. Put my Art and English backgrounds to good use...better than anything I'm doing now. I just don't remember that being on the list of possible majors the many, many times I studied said list in college."

"I don't know how one gets that gig, though I have to say, artist and journalist are two hats you wear well."

"_Journalist_? I give advice about sex. Not exactly journalism."

Sango poked Kagome with her elbow. "Don't sell yourself short. Not many people could write that column. And what exactly brought about this color-naming epiphany?"

"Rin and I were shopping for paint yesterday, and I swear I can do just as good. I had a tiny breakdown in the middle of the paint section, but," she waved a hand dismissively, "Sango, the names...the possibilities are endless. Pair an adjective–Wilting, Scarred, Muted, Softened, Electrified–with almost any noun–Leaf, Lake, Dream, Ambivalence–you're good to go. It could be a fucking board game it's so formulaic."

Sango just shook her head; her friend had always loved the sound of words and the dexterous way they played on her tongue. "Fragrant Garden. Wrinkled Paper. Silent Pond."

"Exactly! Isn't it fun!" Though Kagome reluctantly came to the conclusion that perhaps she was not so uniquely gifted. "Bridal Veil."

"Blushing Virgin," Sango giggled.

"Ooo, I like that. Fiery Temptress."

"Stolen Kiss."

"Fresh Hickey."

This nearly caused Sango to spit her wine out. "Throbbing Vein," she added, after recovering.

"Oh honey, you're turning me on. Rosy Peak."

"Damp Flesh."

"Silken Thigh."

"What color is that?"

"I don't know...it's on the same card as Damp Flesh."

"Turgid Member," Sango offered, causing Kagome to giggle wickedly.

"Passionate Entry," she moaned.

"Waves of Pleasure," Sango panted, voice deep and throaty.

Kagome smiled broadly. "Cum Stain." They both broke into peals of laughter. "Shit, we can't wake Rin," she sobered.

"How is it going at the Taishos?" Sango asked, finding a subject that would cause less noise.

"Great. I made a ton of progress today, the edging and first coats are done in both bedrooms and living room and hallways, and Jak's helping me tomorrow. He's bringing the Broadway cast recordings of _Avenue Q _and _Wicked_, so I'll be in musical heaven." Kagome paused to sip her wine. "Mrs. Taisho actually hung out with us a little today. She was really good with Rin, who was cute as fuck, but completely hell-bent on focusing attention on her tooth. I swear that kid has never smiled that much in her life. I worry she's doing permanent damage to her face."

"It does transform her into some impish Inuyasha-child."

"Doesn't it? One wouldn't think a single tooth could matter that much."

"She is a combination of both her parents, and I can't help but think that, as Rin is growing, she's adding quite a lot of her father to her personality."

"Totally. His sarcasm is beginning to bud in her, but more than anything her love of the thrill, whether it is hanging on the monkey bars upside down or going down the big slide at the playground head first, she is channeling Inuyasha. Like father, like daughter daredevils. God help me." Kagome shook her head to clear it. "But seriously...Mrs. Taisho. I kinda like her. I think she's really lonely, and she seems so sincere. I found out she was a concert pianist when she was young. I can't wait to learn more and fill in some blanks."

"Interesting. And Sesshoumaru?" Sango prodded firmly.

"Sessbot? Didn't see him at all today. I get the feeling that he works nonstop."

"_Sessbot_? I know you think he's reserved...but robotic?"

"Maybe robotic is a bit harsh. He's rigid for sure, but I get the feeling that there's a lot under the surface with him." Kagome reflected on seeing him hug Rin and her own ensuing emotions.

"Any potential dating material there?" Sango asked, nearly desperate to see Kagome have sex and a possible relationship with something other than an inanimate object.

"Hell No! He hates me, and besides, we inhabit very different worlds."

Not for much longer, Sango thought, finishing her wine. "I need to push off. I've got a full day of clients tomorrow."

"Cool, I've got to get my column off by midnight tonight or my editor will have my head. I hate deadlines."

"You love them and you know it," Sango said, kissing Kagome affectionately.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, neither characters nor plots. Nor do I claim Pepto Bismol, The Complete Night of the Living Dead Filmbook, Ray Harryhausen: An Animated Life, Nightmare on Elm Street, Town and Country magazine, Avenue Q, or Wicked. Thank you so much for reading!_


	9. Sesshoumaru's Bad Day, Improved

Kagome dumped the last bucket of dirty water into the sink and watched it whirl down the drain, her heart heavy with melancholy. This apartment had been home, her oasis the past six years, and, while she was excited about her new living situation and thrilled that moving was over, vacating it was proving difficult to accept.

For the past week and a half, she had been busier than ever before, forcing her to push down her sadness at leaving the place behind, but now the job was done, and she allowed herself to simply feel blue. The hard work paid off though; there was a real possibility she may get to actually sleep more than four hours that night.

She had finished painting the Taisho's guest house, brought Kikyou and Inuyasha's possessions to the storage unit, and packed up and moved her and Rin's belongings. Rin had started her preschool summer camp that week, so Kagome even had time to get the majority of the unpacking done as well. That morning, with the help of Bank and Jak and their truck, the last of the furniture–their beds and dressers, table, bookcases, and sofa–had been moved, and she and Rin would spend their first night sleeping under the new roof. She had yet to get her loom, but that could wait until the weekend.

In the time she had spent painting and unpacking at the guest house, she had seen neither Sesshoumaru nor Mr. Taisho. She knew they both were busy people, but had hoped Rin could break the ice with Mr. Taisho before they moved in. Mrs. Taisho was around somewhat more frequently, though she also was gone a lot. Kagome planned to put her foot down about having help with Rin; she needed to get back to work and would start band practice soon, not to mention finding time to run and work out.

She had met the housekeeper, Anita, and, once Kagome reassured her that she planned on cleaning the guest house and washing her and Rin's clothes herself, they instantly liked each other, even working out a laundry schedule to more easily share the use of the washer and dryer. The dog had accompanied her once the painting was finished and seemed overjoyed to have a huge yard in which to stretch his legs and new squirrels to terrorize.

It was all going fairly smoothly, more than she had dared to hope. She glanced around the clean, empty rooms and, bucket and mop in hand, left the apartment for the last time, trying not to cry. Sesshoumaru would be there any minute.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru parked in front of Kagome's apartment, breathing a sigh of relief at getting out of the office for an hour. Kagome had asked him to go with her to pick up Rin from her preschool, so he could see where it was located and meet the teachers, since he would be taking some responsibility for transportation to and from school. This was the only day he had any free time in the afternoon, but as it turned out, the break was entirely welcome, even if he had to spend it with an obnoxious, foul-mouthed woman.

His morning had been one of frustration. His secretary was on vacation all week, and the hopelessly incompetent replacement sent by the temp agency had left crying after he had berated her for putting a client on hold and forgetting about him, despite the fact that the man's name led the list of important callers who were to be put through immediately. His corporate counsel later told him the workplace harassment lawsuit brought by a gold-digging former employee didn't settle after days of mediation. Then after lunch, a small fire on a lower floor necessitated the evacuation of the building, costing him an hour in which he had planned to return emails.

To top it off, Kagura had stopped by, demanding to know why he hadn't returned her calls to make a date for the dinner she felt she was owed. He feared he would have to physically remove her from the building, but knew she would probably take it as a sign of encouragement. At least it was Thursday, the day the new Scarlet Letter'd would appear among the pages of _The Missing Link_, and he had an enjoyable read to anticipate.

He walked to the side of the building and saw Kagome sitting on the step, looking forlorn.

"Hi," she greeted him, brightening a little. "I'm really gonna miss this place and the neighborhood. Home, sweet home and all that. But...time to move along. Ready?"

His response was a patiently raised eyebrow, as she dug keys from a yellow back pack.

"It's the dark blue minivan parked a few doors down."

"Minivan?" he said with distaste. He hadn't been in anything other than luxury and performance automobiles in years. "I'll drive."

"You can't. You don't have a booster seat in your car, and Rin needs one."

"Take the one in your car and put it in mine," he said reasonably.

"Can't. It's integrated...built into the seat. Why the reluctance?" She squinted at him, then smiled knowingly. "Never ridden in a minivan before, have you?"

He said nothing, but his slight sneer bespoke annoyance.

"A _virgin_," she said with delight, taking his arm and leading him toward the sidewalk. "And I get to be your first. Don't worry; I'll be gentle. I promise," she whispered flirtatiously. "And anything you may have heard about men who are exposed to the inside of a minivan experiencing irreversible testicular shrinkage is a myth. Or at least an exaggeration."

He sighed wearily; the day was _not_ improving.

As they walked down the street he saw a blue van, the whole back end plastered with bumper stickers, making it look like a crazy quilt of band names, political slogans, and social commentary. **F The President**, **Choice NOW!**, **The Misfits**, **Why Choose the Lesser Evil–Vote Cthulhu**, **I Don't Mind Straight People, As Long As They Act Gay In Public**, **Metallica**, **Nice Marmot—LebowskiFest .com, ** **I Support Public Radio** were a few he read as they approached. He always believed bumper stickers to be a rather vulgar and common display, usually indicating poor taste and lack of refinement, and couldn't imagine he had to ride in the vehicle in front of him. Then he saw **If You're Going To Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair And Give Me A Reach Around **and balked. There is no way in Hell I am getting any closer to that automobile, he almost said aloud.

"What?" Kagome asked, noticing he stopped. "Ohquitbeingsuckafuckingbaby. You're like a teenager who doesn't want to be seen in public with his parents. I 've got a canvas grocery bag inside if you want to put it over your head. Or I can drop you off a few blocks away, and you can pretend we didn't come together."

"Kagome," he said, suddenly willing himself back at work, "you are incredibly irritating."

"I try," she answered, unlocking the doors with a remote; the cheery indicator 'beep' seemed to mock his extreme discomfort.

When she started the ignition, loud accordion music assaulted him. Kagome quickly turned it down to a tolerable level. "Sorry," she apologized, "I've been so busy lately...sleep is the first casualty, and blasting Zydeco—this is Beau Jocque—has been quite helpful in keeping me awake until I can consume sufficient caffeine.

"I'm really not a huge fan of this particular mode of transportation," she continued as she drove toward Rin's school. "It's slow and loud, but it's just so damn practical. My dog doesn't fit very well in anything else, and I used to do art shows. I could load up all my shit in here, set up my tent, then sleep in the back. Saw a lot of action back there too. You wouldn't think the art show circuit would be such a meat market. Sorry...is that too much information?" she asked upon seeing his horrified expression.

He merely glowered at her, wishing it had the same effect on her as it did on everyone else, namely cringing in dread. Unfortunately for his current situation, trapped in a minivan with her, she was undeterred.

"I really should mention something."

He closed his eyes, wondering if the woman ever stopped talking.

"Rin has a best friend named Shippou. Super cute and sweet, but he's a little shit. A born trickster, if I've ever met one." A car suddenly pulled out in front of them, causing Kagome to slam on the brakes. She laid on the horn and yelled, "ASSHOLE! Learn how to drive! Some people...anyway...he and Inuyasha had a special relationship. Shippou decided on their first meeting, his role in life was to tease Inuyasha. It started out innocently enough—Shippou called him Butt-Head or something. A normal adult would have just ignored him or taken him aside and told him that was an unacceptable way to speak to anyone, and he would have lost interest quickly, but, as we know, Inuyasha was far from normal. He completely overreacted, giving Shippou a reason to continue. Name calling turned to accusations of stinkiness and stupidity, degenerating to practical jokes. In reality they were really fond of each other. Shippou worships the ground I walk on, by the way. But the reason I am bringing it up...Shippou may try to spark a similar relationship with you. If he does anything particularly insulting or whatever, just try not to kill him."

Sesshoumaru shook his head slowly. "My mother has expressed interest in Rin attending Fairfield Academy this fall," he said, changing the subject. "Has she mentioned anything to you?"

"No, she hasn't, but you may as well tell her No Fucking Way. Kikyou did tons of research finding a preschool program and decided Haven Montessori was the best fit, and I plan to honor her wishes. She and Inuyasha would shit at the thought of their kid going to that white bread institution of entitlement and conformity."

"Kagome, you have no idea what you're talking about. Inuyasha and I both attended a few years at Fairfield Elementary. It is an excellent school," he said icily.

"Yeah, and Inuyasha got kicked out for behavior problems," she snapped back. "Rin's doing just fine where she's at; I have no reason to switch schools. "She looked at him curiously. "You said you were there a few years. Did you get kicked out too?" she teased.

"No," he replied, his patience nearing its end. "I was sent to Cushing Hall."

"Where's that? I don't recognize the name."

"Connecticut. It's a boarding school."

"Really? How old were you when you went?"

"Ten."

"_Ten_? That seems so young to be away from home."

He was taken aback by the concern in her voice. "I came back for holidays and summers."

"Did you come back here for high school?"

"No, I went to Flint River School, an all-boys preparatory academy in Massachusetts."

Kagome was silent as she digested this information. "So were you around when Inuyasha got expelled and threatened with military school and ran away from home?"

"No, sadly I missed that dramatic misadventure," he said cynically. "I was a freshman at Harvard that year. But even when I visited, things were never easy."

"I can imagine. Inuyasha didn't like to talk about growing up, but he did confide that he was a problem child and your parents had no idea how to deal with handle him."

They turned into a quiet, tree-lined drive that led to a small parking lot next to an attractive two-story house. "This is it." She parked, and they got out. "They're probably in the back where the playground is. Rin really is thriving here. It's a great school, and the teachers are wonderful. She said yesterday she wished she could go to school all summer."

"What do they do here in the summer?"

"Montessori classroom work until lunch, then fun stuff, like science projects and water play, in the afternoon."

An explanation of Montessori classroom work would have to wait; Rin, sitting atop the jungle gym with a red-headed boy, saw them approach and screamed, "Uncle Sesshoumaru!" She jumped down from the jungle gym, ran to Sesshoumaru, and threw herself at him.

He easily grabbed the petite, raven-haired ball of energy hurtling at him, tossing her in the air and catching her, their faces inches apart. Rin was in heaven; the electric fear of being airborne followed by strong arms about her was a favorite combination of excitement and security. She kissed him quickly, inexpertly on his cheek, giggling all the while. Sesshoumaru was bemused at the pure joy sparkling in the child's eyes. No one had ever given him such a reception, such an enthusiastic, unguarded greeting. He was a powerful man, far more used to seeing respect, if not outright trepidation, upon entering a room, and the girl's innocent exuberance made him feel quite like someone else.

"Hello, Rin," he said with affection.

She smiled wide, the void of her missing tooth possessing a life of its own. "Come meet my friends! And my teachers!"

He put her down, and she took his hand and pulled him toward the playground, which was abuzz with two dozen cavorting children. Rin glanced over her shoulder at Kagome, who looked like she had just been handed a basket of kittens and puppies, and sternly mouthed the words, "No Crying," at her.

XxXxX

Kagome had just finished putting dinner plates in the shiny, new dishwasher, when Rin asked if they could go visit her grandparents and uncle.

"Honey, I don't want to wear out our welcome too quickly. We will figure out a rhythm together, but I don't want to make a habit of dropping in unannounced." Rin looked disappointed, and Kagome felt horrible. "Okay…I have something I need to talk to them about anyway."

They walked around the huge Taisho mansion and knocked on the front door. Mrs. Taisho opened it and declared warmly, "Rin, Kagome, what a pleasant surprise! Do you have everything you need back there?"

"Yes, it's all great! Rin wanted to say Hi, and I need to compare our schedules a little, so I am able to figure out when I can work. Are Mr. Taisho and Sesshoumaru in?"

Rose Taisho smiled carefully. "My husband just got in, but Sesshoumaru usually doesn't get home before eight or nine."

"Ohhkaayyy…well that may have to change. As I told him when he first proposed this little arrangement, I'll need help with Rin. I lost my support staff moving out here, and I can't do all the childcare myself."

Rose was apprehensive; neither her husband nor her son liked to be told what to do or when to do it. "My husband is in his study," she said evenly. "It's this way."

As they walked through corridors, Kagome snuck peaks into the rooms they passed, marveling at the furniture and art. She had been in the residences of the super-wealthy many times doing commission jobs, and, though there were exceptions, most of the interiors looked like they had been designed to show the inhabitants' wealth in the most ostentatious manner. Rooms filled with cold, expensive furnishings were more like untouchable museums than living areas in which people actually sat and talked to each other. She could often take one look at a given room and know who the designer was based on the ratio of Louis XIV to Queen Anne antiques or the amount of the trendiest colors and fabrics. The worst was the perfectly color-coordinated room, where art was purchased because it matched the divan, not because it was beautiful or interesting or appealing for any reason other than its ability to not clash. The further they got into the house, the more Kagome was impressed by the overall style and taste. There were the usual suspects—priceless antiques, handmade Persian rugs, Waterford crystal—but they were displayed to highlight the pieces themselves, not merely as acquisitions. However what caught and held Kagome's attention were the numerous foreign pieces. African masks carved from ebony, Chinese hand-painted silk screens, Japanese raku tea bowls were among the treasures.

"Mrs. Taisho, your house is gorgeous."

"Thank you, Kagome, and please call me Rose. Art collection is one of my hobbies, especially with our travels. Sesshoumaru tells me you have some interesting pieces, and I don't believe I've mentioned to you yet how remarkable I found the tapestry at Arabesque. I would love to collaborate with you on a series of commissions at some point."

Kagome was touched. "I'd be honored to work with you."

"Here we are. Ken, darling," she announced as she led Kagome and Rin into a large, well-appointed, oak-paneled room, "look who has come for a visit."

Ken Taisho glanced up from his computer monitor and, on spotting Kagome, narrowed his eyes, though his expression softened slightly when Rin shyly waved at him. "Hello, young lady. How was your school today?"

"Good! We made baking soda volcanoes in the parking lot. My friend Shippou told Miss Maryanne that he ate it and pretended to puke. He's really good at fake puke."

"Charming," he said, sarcasm dripping.

Holy like father, like son, Kagome thought.

"Rin a good school is very important," Mr. Taisho went on. "We know of a superior school, that I'm sure you'd do quite well at."

Kagome noticed Rin's slightly panic-stricken look; she knew Rin loved it at Haven, especially because Shippou would be there next year and the downstairs neighbor boy, Jericho, would be starting as well. "Rin's school is very highly regarded, and she is excelling there," she said firmly.

At that moment, Sesshoumaru entered the room, tension in the air immediately apparent.

"Sesshoumaru, dear," Rose said with surprise, "you're home early."

"Yes, I had a hellacious day. The office is utter chaos with Carol on vacation, and I felt I'd be more productive finishing things up here. Hello, Rin," he said, smoothing the now-smiling girl's stubborn cowlick down without success.

Ken Taisho didn't miss a beat. "Don't you think that now that the child has access to the best that money can buy, she should have it?"

"No, I don't," Kagome said flatly. "An inflated price tag does not automatically mean quality."

Sesshoumaru and Rose looked at each other. The elder Taisho was not used to being challenged, especially by a non-family member.

"Sesshoumaru," Rose said quickly, in an attempt to ease the hostility, "visited Rin's school today. How did you find it, dear?"

"Quite amazing. Rin and her teachers gave me a tour. The Montessori program is very interesting. The method of instruction promotes independence, and they take a sensorial approach to the introduction of mathematics. It was rather intriguing seeing what four-year olds can accomplish."

Ken Taisho scowled at his son. Rose thought perhaps this was the best time to change the topic of discussion. "Kagome, did you say that you wanted to try to arrange our schedules."

"Yeah," she replied, pulling a piece of paper from her pocket. "I've got the next two weeks drawn out as a calendar. If you all could write down your obligations and working hours so I can figure out when I can count on help with Rin, I'd appreciate it. I've added all your names to the list of people acceptable to pick her up from school, and at the bottom I've written her social security number and other info; Sesshoumaru mentioned earlier that you'd want to add her to your Country Club membership. And you'll need booster seats for the cars. I recommend one for each. Switching from car to car gets old fast."

Ken stared at the neatly line page with animosity. How dare this girl come in here and demand an account of his time? "I'll fill it in when my more important work is done. You are dismissed."

Kagome's upper lip curled and her nostrils flared.

Rose sought to insulate the child from the confrontation brewing. "Rin, let's go see if Anita has any dessert."

Rin was being suffocated by the ill-feelings in the room and couldn't get away fast enough.

Sesshoumaru couldn't recall when he had been this amused.

Once Rin had left the room, Kagome slammed her palms down on the desk. "Listen up, Old Man. I'm not the goddam nanny. You don't dismiss me. If we want to make this work, you will treat me as an equal partner in Rin's upbringing."

Ken Taisho locked eyes with her and slowly stood. He had started as a young man and, overcoming poverty and racism, built a fortune from nothing. He was not about to be stared down by this disagreeable girl.

Kagome looked into the compelling amber eyes of the older alpha male and felt her pulse race. Don't back down don't back down, she mentally prodded herself, knowing that she needed to stand her ground to make it clear she was not a doormat. She didn't blink.

"Fine," he said, seeing Sesshoumaru watching in the doorway, a highly entertained expression on his face. "I'm certain we can all be reasonable for the sake of the child, Miss…Higurashi."

Kagome was relieved; she hated conflict, but knew when it was necessary. "I'll just go…check on Rin." Courage abruptly gone, she spun around quickly, almost bumping into Sesshoumaru, squeaked an apology, and sped out of the room, hoping the kitchen was not difficult to locate.

"And you thought this was a good idea?" Ken said dryly. "Insufferably stubborn woman."

"So then, you are the pot, and the kettle just scampered away. Have you met your match finally, Father?" Sesshoumaru asked, still smirking.

"Hn. Worse than your brother."

XxXxX

Rin and Kagome watched from the cobbled path as Oberon raced across the vast open expanse of the lawn for an evening romp, when the girl noticed brief flashes of light flickering, scattered everywhere. "Fireflies!" she squealed. "Can I go chase them?"

"Sure, honey." She saw Sesshoumaru relaxing with a newspaper and a glass of wine on the patio nearby. "I'm going to join your uncle over there. Don't make too much noise, okay?" Rin frolicked as she ran through the dampening grass, her course taking on a random quality as she followed the luminescent insects. "Mind if I join you?" Kagome asked, as she sat on a teak patio chair. "I'd like to say I'm sorry for how I acted this afternoon. I've been working my tail to the bone lately, and exhaustion makes me peevish. I promise I don't plan on making your life a living hell or anything."

He regarded her silently a moment then asked, "Would you care for a glass of wine?"

"I'd love one, thanks," she smiled.

He went to the bar and returned with an empty glass and a bottle of white. "_The Missing Link_?" Kagome read as he poured. "I was expecting _The Wall Street Journal_, not that."

She had interrupted him just as he was preparing to settle down with Scarlet Letter'd. "I read the editorials and letters to see what popular opinion says about the arena," he lied.

"So is your dad going to kick me out?"

"No. In fact I think you impressed him."

"What?" Kagome asked in disbelief.

"My father is not a bad person, just very used to getting his own way. You've shattered all his preconceptions of you; he was unprepared to discover you are not after his money, irresponsible, or a wimp. Though I must add he has not yet met your beast nor seen your car."

"Hmm…he'll come around. I can be charming if I need to be," she asserted playfully. She felt again like flirting and internally kicked sense into herself. "So what do you think of your niece?"

He watched as the girl and the dog chased each other, shadows deepening across the lawn, and remembered holding her small hand that afternoon as she led him around her classroom. "She's rather…adorable."

"Isn't she the best. You don't even know her yet. She is a thief of hearts, that tiny thing." She closed her eyes and sipped her wine, enjoying the cool, dryness. "The tiredness is catching up to me. I'd love to try out that tub, but I'm afraid I'll fall asleep." She saw Sesshoumaru was watching her intently. "Thank you. For arranging this. I thought you were crazy when you first suggested it. You really saved my ass…and I'm grateful."

"You're welcome, Kagome."

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it. This time of year is the best. Not super hot and buggy yet. Do you spend a lot of time out here?"

"When I can. I'm not home all that often, though I understand that may be changing. You won't need to do it all alone, you know."

She smiled at him gratefully. "Rin Rin come on over and say good night!" she called out.

Rin, wearing a summer nightgown with a slightly grass-stained hem, skipped up to Sesshoumaru, stood on tip toes, and kissed him. "Nightnight."

"Good night, Rin," he said gently.

Kagome finished her drink. "Thanks again. For everything." She took Rin's hand and walked to the guest house, briefly stopping to whistle for the dog.

Sesshoumaru watched as they walked away, then quickly turned to the back pages of the newspaper.

_Scarlet Letter'd: Advice from the Soapbox of the Damned_

_Dear Scarlet, I am a regular reader of your column and enjoy it immensely. However I must call you out for your overuse of commas. An example is found in the response recently to Hairy Back in which you wrote: _Perhaps, Hairy, your boyfriend feels you think his hair length is more important than his thoughts, opinions, desires, and him as a whole person._ The comma between _desires_ and _and_ is redundant and unnecessary. Signed, Punctuation Freak_

_Dear Freak, I searched your letter (thank you for the lovely, handwritten letter by the way; the vast majority of my correspondence is via email) for some hidden question of a sexual nature. I parsed each word, read between the lines, used a magnifying glass, and even held it up to a candle to see if some message had been penned in invisible ink. On finding no evidence of the words dildo or bondage or rimming or ice cubes, I have no choice but to conclude the thrust of your letter is to take umbrage with my use of…__**The Oxford Comma!?**__ I'm not sure if I'm turned on or appalled. For those you who have forgotten Basic Grammar, the Oxford comma aka serial comma aka Harvard comma is the comma that comes after the second-to-the-last item in a list, before the _and_ or _or_. It is not often used in Great Britain, but is still considered standard usage here, though the poor little dear is beginning to fall out of favor with journalists. In fact when I first started writing this column, I threatened my editor with emasculation should I ever find one missing. Some do believe the Oxford comma is not necessary. There are certain circumstances when I definitely see their point. Take, for example, this sentence:_ My favorite sexual positions, in no particular order, are Doggy, Lotus and Seventh Posture. _It is quite clear this is a list of three, though I still find myself compelled to write_ Doggy, Lotus, and Seventh Posture. _But there are other occasions when the Oxford comma prevents or, at least, reduces ambiguity. Consider this:_ While on vacation, George and Dick plan to eat, drink, screw and meet the other tourists. _Are the President and Veep taking a holiday to enjoy cuisine, imbibe, make love, and socialize? Or are they vacationing on Orgy Island? One could argue that because of word order, it is obvious. George and Dick would meet the other tourists before engaging in sexual relations with them. Anyone who makes this point has attended far more polite orgies than I have. Others may say that because there is no_ and _before the word _screw_, the meaning is clear. I say it is hardly clear. At least no clearer than_ eat, drink, screw, and meet the other tourists_. Another example of an ambiguity resulting from lack of an Oxford comma is:_ I would like to dedicate this column to the Pope, my fuckbuddy and my editor. _No my dear Freak, the Pontiff and I are not friends with benefits, nor does he check my column—facts that are not at all clear based on that example. I'll admit that the addition of an Oxford comma does not remove all ambiguity_. I would like to dedicate this column to the Pope, my fuckbuddy, and my editor _could still be seen as a list of two people--my editor and someone, who bears the name or title, the Pope, with whom I am engaging in casual sex. But the only way to be certain would be to write this:_ I would like to dedicate this column to the Pope, to my fuckbuddy, and to my editor. _I believe that sentence is redundant, awkward, and wordy, with or without the second comma._

_Dear Scarlet, I have a problem that is so embarrassing I am totally blushing as a type. I have a boyfriend, and a few weeks ago we started having sex. My problem is…queefing. The fact that my spellchecker does not recognize this word makes me even more embarrassed. My boyfriend is getting annoyed because he says it's no biggie, but I'm so humiliated I have to stop when it I do it. I'm not super experienced, but this never happened with my other boyfriend. What should I do? Signed, Not the Noises I Want to Be Making_

_Dear Noises, Ahhh the queef. Such a lovely, onomatopoetic word, is it not? Also known as vaginal flatulence, pussy fart, vart, snatchulence, or, more crassly, cunt fart, the queef is the sound made when air which has made its way into the vagina is expelled during sex. It also can happen during exercise. It is perfectly natural; certainly not a reason for putting the brakes on otherwise satisfying intercourse. If I were your boyfriend, I'd be getting annoyed too. What to do…change positions? Put in ear plugs? Look around innocently and ask who tooted? Noises, what you need to do is relax. Sex is a physical act involving human bodies in all their naked glory. Sweat, smells, body fluids, and, yes Noises, noises are par for the course. Some guys are actually turned on by queefing; maybe your BF is one._

Sesshoumaru finished his wine, turned off the lights, and went into the house, wondering for the two-hundredth time the identity of this woman.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Also I have no claim to National Organization of Women, The Misfits, Metallica, LebowskiFest, Beau Jocque, Waterford crystal, or The Wall Street Journal. _


	10. Brothers and Sisters

Rin crept into Kagome's room, sniffing and clutching a plush white tiger tightly to her chest. "Kagome?" she called, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "Kagome?"

Her aunt lifted her head up, blinking to focus. "Rin?" she asked sleepily.

"Can I get in bed with you?"

"Of course, baby. Come on in." She reached out, and Rin quickly crossed the room and climbed onto the big bed. "Oberon, shove over." She drew her niece into her arms. "Did you get lonely?"

Rin hid her face in Kagome's chest as her hair was stroked. "I miss Mommy and Daddy," she choked out.

"Me too, honey. Me too." She sighed sadly. "Let it out. It's okay." As sobs shook the little body, Kagome rubbed and petted, quietly encouraging. When Rin finally looked up and attempted a smile, Kagome asked, "Better?"

"A little. I just want them."

"I know." Kagome kissed the child's forehead. "It does get better, sweetie. It never goes away, but it gets better. I promise." Feeling comforted, Rin snuggled deeper into her aunt's arms. "You've been through a lot this past month. Not just your Mom and Dad; you've met new family, we've moved, regular school's out. That's a lot of change. And you've been great. I'm very proud of you."

They were both startled by the alarm clock loudly blaring. Kagome reached over and turned it off, then discretely slid the large box of sex toys on the floor under her bed.

"And so it begins. Our new normal." They got up. "You alright, hon?" Kagome inquired gently, as she threw her robe around her nakedness, dodging the whip-like tail of the big black dog who was stretching his way to the door.

The girl nodded and asked, "Are you going to take me to school today?"

"Yep. And I think your uncle will be picking you up. I need to double check with him."

Over the weekend, Kagome had finished unpacking and decorated the living room, dining area, kitchen, bathroom, and the bedrooms; the only thing left was the setting up of her studio and the making of curtains. Rin had spent some time at the main house, getting to know her grandparents, giving Kagome an opportunity to run and catch up on email. They had all taken lunch together on Sunday, and though the atmosphere was painfully tense at times, Rin's perkiness lightened the mood considerably, and Kagome knew with time relations with the Taishos would improve. The schedules had been coordinated, and she felt she finally had something resembling order imposed on the chaos.

"My Uncle?" Rin chirped, brightening.

Kagome tousled the girl's hair affectionately. "Go get dressed while I take care of the dog."

Twenty minutes later, dog let out and fed and coffee made, Kagome was singing along to Neko Case as she took the eggs from the refrigerator.

_Hey pretty baby get high with me,  
We can go to my sisters if we say we'll watch the baby  
The look on your face yanks my neck on the chain  
And I would do anything  
To see you again_

A knock at the front door interrupted her. "Dolly, get the door would you, please?"

Rin, seated at the island counter of the eat-in kitchen, slid off the tall barstool and padded to the door as the dog trotted up to investigate. "Obi, _mooove_," she said, pushing the canine obstruction out of the way, and opened the door. "Uncle Sesshoumaru!" she screamed with delight.

Sesshoumaru was welcomed by two black-haired heads competing for his attention and the intense aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

"Oberon!" Kagome commanded. "Off!" The dog obediently went back to his food bowl to finish eating.

As Rin pulled him through the small dining area and into the kitchen, Sesshoumaru was impressed at how quickly Kagome had unpacked, giving the cottage a comfortable, lived-in feel. He spotted her, cracking eggs and wearing a threadbare flannel robe printed with images of dogs playing poker and dogs playing pool. It was easily the tackiest, most hideously ugly article of clothing he'd ever seen.

"Good morning…for a Monday," she greeted, stifling a yawn. "What?" she asked after noticing his expression of disapproval.

His face quickly became a blank mask again. "Your robe," he replied.

She grinned enthusiastically. "Isn't it great! When I saw this at the fabric store five years ago, I bought every yard they had. I made bathrobes for a bunch of friends for Christmas that year. Unfortunately mine is on its last legs. Should have tossed it ages ago, but I just can't bear to part with it. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?"

The fact that she had actually sewn the offensive item and was wearing it, not only by choice, but in spite of the obviously tattered condition made it even more distasteful. "I'm on my way to work. I just stopped in to drop this off." He pulled a folded piece of paper from an interior pocket of his dark, tailored suit.

"Ohcomeon. It's not even seven-thirty; you can spare fifteen minutes." She poured him a cup of steaming coffee. "It's from _Ruby's_," she tempted. Ruby's was a local micro roastery, famed for its high-quality, shade-grown beans and worshipped by area coffee lovers.

"Please," Rin entreated, climbing back onto her perch. She looked at him with puppy dog eyes and a pretty, pouting mouth.

"Ooo she's pulling out The Look. Almost no one can resist The Look," Kagome commented.

Rin didn't waver, silently praying her uncle wouldn't join her mother on the very short list of people invulnerable to her pitiable expression. He acquiesced, taking the cup and feeling slightly railroaded, but Rin, with her hopeful, sad eyes, was impossible to tell No.

"Milk or sugar?"

"Black," he answered flatly, though he had to admit, after sipping the rich, satiny brew, Kagome made excellent coffee.

She resumed breakfast preparation, whisking eggs and dropping butter into a skillet on the stove. "Thanks for bringing the finished schedule over; I assume that's it." Sesshoumaru said nothing to contradict her so she continued. "Can you still pick up Rin from school today?"

"I can."

"Did you get a booster seat for your car?"

"I did."

"I recommend putting a folded up towel underneath it to protect the leather. But really…just kiss the present state of your car interior goodbye. Sticky fingers, dirty little shoes, melted crayons. Kids can spontaneously generate mess from absolutely no raw materials."

"Hey!" protested Rin. "Don't believe her Uncle Sesshoumaru. My Daddy said I'm clean compared to Shippou."

Sesshoumaru made a mental note to have Rin wash her hands and remove her shoes before entering his car and to never allow the red-headed boy anywhere near it.

"Well, I really appreciate it," Kagome said gratefully. "I've got an appointment downtown this afternoon, and I don't know if it will be finished in time to get to Haven by four-fifteen. I hope it doesn't inconvenience you too much."

"I've shuffled my schedule around so I can finish this afternoon's work here."

She smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Kagome," Rin said, "I still like Kagome Eggs, but can you make me Daddy Eggs sometime?"

"Sure honey. Next time I go to the grocery, I'll get what we need."

"Kagome Eggs? Daddy Eggs?" Sesshoumaru asked in spite of himself.

Kagome tipped the contents of the bowl into the frying pan and got a wooden spoon. "Kagome Eggs are scrambled eggs, fried in butter. Inuyasha Eggs, or Daddy Eggs, he made with a side of bacon or sausage or ham…or some combination of the three…and are fried in the fat from the bacon or sausage."

"Inuyasha cooked?" Sesshoumaru was dubious.

"Yeah, the three of us rotated cooking and cleaning duties. When it was Inuyasha's turn he almost always grilled. Don't know what it is about men and open flame and meat. Thousands of years of evolution haven't removed that basic caveman instinct. I can't tell you how many memories I have of him standing over the grill with an umbrella in the rain." She tilted the pan, scraping and turning with the spoon.

"Kagome, do you think Mommy will be sad if I don't want to have Mommy Eggs again?" Rin was suddenly worried.

"No honey. I don't think Mommy even liked eating Mommy Eggs that much." She put the food on a plate and served it to RIn. "When Kikyou made eggs," Kagome explained to Sesshoumaru, "it was with a rather vile egg substitute. She didn't eat meat."

"My brother married a vegetarian?" he asked, even more doubtfully.

Kagome snickered at his incredulity. "A vegetarian with strong vegan tendencies. Really, Kikyou was an excellent cook. She could work miracles with tofu."

"Inyasha ate tofu?" He was uncertain if he could believe her; Inuyasha had been a zealous carnivore as long as he could remember.

"Yeah, kicking and screaming at first, but Kikyou gave bean curd its due respect as a unique ingredient; she never tried to pass it off as fake meat. I don't think Inuyasha ever _liked_ it. He gleefully slapped a steak on the grill next to Kikyou's tempeh kebabs, but he forced it down without too much complaint when it was her turn to cook. There were notable exceptions, of course." Kagome recalled with a shudder some nearly inedible recipes.

Sesshoumaru wondered how he could possibly reconcile his previous image of his brother, a lazy, irresponsible fast food addict, with the cleaning, cooking, tofu-eating one Kagome described.

Kagome sensed some skepticism. "Inuyasha as an adult was a different person than the one you probably have embedded in your mind. He was still Inuyasha at his core, pretty much a wild kid in a man's body, but he grew up a lot, especially when Rin came along. And he was an incredibly loyal, protective friend."

Rin listened to the brief conversation about her parents with interest. She heard stories of her mother and Kagome's girlhoods often, but still had problems imagining her father, whom she had never thought of as anything other than perfect in every way, as a child and was eager to hear more about this unknown part of his life from these new family members.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru, can you tell me a story about my Daddy when he was little?"

He considered this for a moment; as boys, he and Inuyasha fought constantly. "Rin, your grandmother would be a much better source for that information."

"She said we are gonna decorate my new bedroom today after school. I'll have two new bedrooms," she said proudly. "Will I help her paint?"

He almost laughed at the thought of his mother painting. "Actually Rin, your grandmother has invited her decorator to consult this afternoon. You'll be looking at pictures and sample books."

This was a bit disappointing and reinforced in Rin's mind her conclusion that life next door was very different from all her prior experience.

"And now I must be going," he announced, rising. "Rin, I'll see you at your school. Kagome, thank you for the coffee."

Kagome looked on with amusement as Rin squirmed in excitement at the prospect of being picked up by her new-found object of adoration.

XxXxX

Sango tidied her desk, rearranging stacks of paper and photos of her cats, while she waited for her husband to pick her up for an early lunch. Beginning when they started dating seriously, Sango and Miroku always made a point of keeping an hour free one day a week so they could have lunch together. The first week of the month they went to a new or long-neglected place; the last week was spent eating carry-out naked in Sango's office, upon a thick quilt spread on the floor, blinds drawn and door locked. Their preferred day was Wednesday, but Miroku's court schedule necessitated a Monday luncheon on this particular week.

There was a short knock, and Kagome's face appeared in the open door.

"Hey! I was in the neighborhood with a few minutes to spare," Kagome greeted her friend. "The receptionist said you didn't have any clients right now."

"Nope! Miroku should be here soon, but in the meantime I want to hear all about your new place."

"It rules," Kagome squealed as she reclined on Sango's couch. "Our old place was pretty big; this one is at least that big, with an insane bathroom and the world's best kitchen. It almost makes me want to briefly break my vow of celibacy so I can have some hot guy fuck me raw on the kitchen counter."

"Kagome, you're such a romantic," she said dreamily, batting her eyelashes. "But seriously, what's stopping you?" Sango asked, point blank. "This no dating policy has gone on a long time. Long enough. I respect your reasons," she continued, lifting her hand to stop an interruption. "I understand that Doctor Tit Fuck sent your self-confidence into hiding, but that was over a year and a half ago. I think you are using feminism and the I Don't Need A Man To Be Happy line as an excuse to avoid your fears of rejection. I think you're afraid to take chances, and the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can get over it and date again. Kagome," she said more gently, "you like men. You like sex with men. Don't let life and a possible great relationship pass you by. Come out from your safety net."

A rather livid-looking Kagome stood quickly, crossing her arms over her B-Cup On A Good Day chest. "Are you quite finished?" she demanded, shooting daggers with her eyes.

Sango bit back a smile. "The floor is all yours."

"You," she growled through clenched teeth, "are dead wrong. I'm afraid of jack shit. Certainly not…pfft…_men_. I could give rat's ass that Hojo The Hooter Lover rejected me. I choose to stay single because…men are needy and time consuming, and I've got enough going on in my life right now. And I do NOT have body image issues, so don't even go there."

"Okayokay, down girl," Sango laughed. "You're awful cute when you're willfully in denial."

"Whatever! Now stop trying to pimp me, Slick Sango Slayer-Mama," she snorted, unable to assign Sango a pimp name with a straight face.

"I'll stop!" Sango giggled. "Just never call me that in my husband's presence." Mentally however, Sango was plotting, promising herself that she would force Kagome to go on at least one date before the year was over. "So…how's Sesshoumaru?"

"Gawd! You don't stop, do you?" Kagome said, sitting and sinking back down. "I haven't seen that much of Sesshoumaru…more his parents, though we all spent some time together yesterday. Damn but that family took all the fun out of dysfunctional. I can tell there is caring, but I've never seen as much passive-aggressive cold-shouldering. They just tiptoe around each other, not communicating. Rose seems to be putting forth an effort, but Old Man Taisho…he's so curmudgeonly, he's practically a caricature. He'll be my special project. You see, I've decided I'm the Self-Appointed Taisho Family Repair Kit."

"Oh?" Sango's curiosity was piqued.

"Well, we are neighbors, and I can't stand to live next to such bullshit, but it's more for Rin's sake. They _are_ her family. I could tell, after coming from our open, no secrets, no holds barred household, the level of bitter silence confused the shit out of her. Poor thing. She's just not used to adults acting like that. They really need a huge lesson on how to relax. The tension in that house is thick and suffocating. And _I_ am their savior," Kagome concluded with satisfaction.

"Such the mother hen, you are," Sango mocked. "If it were anyone but you, I'd say stay out of it, but I learned long ago of your stubbornness…and your ability to fix things."

Kagome was quiet a moment. "Seriously though, I do find myself liking them. I wish Inuyasha was still alive to see his daughter staring at his brother with near rapture on her face. It'd fucking kill him." She sat up. "But their house is amazing. And the guest house is perfect for us. Hey," she said, sitting up, "can you and Miroku come over for dinner this weekend? You can see the place. Rin would love to show off her new bedroom."

"We'd love to. I've got Ultimate practice on Saturday, but it's early. When are you going to come and see a game? The team is really good this year; we should make regionals again." Sango was the captain of a local co-ed Ultimate Frisbee team.

Kagome sighed. "I know. Maybe in a couple weeks we can get a big group together for a picnic and watch you. Bank and Jak have so many wedding receptions in the summer; I'll check and see if they have any free time coming up. I've just been so busy lately. It should calm down soon though. I'm behind on a couple projects, but not that bad. Fuck…I've got a deadline for the column pinching my ass, and I haven't even started it yet. Looks like another late night. I actually got seven hours of sleep in last night."

"Say, that reminds me…what the hell is seventh posture?"

"Kikyou introduced me to it. It was one of the few sex positions she could tolerate in the last months of pregnancy. She said Inuyasha could hit her sweet spot and not put pressure on her bladder. I have to say it's pretty intense. The receiver has to be kind of flexible, but you're in good shape. Come here," she said, sliding down and lying on her side. "It's easier to show than tell." Sango climbed on the sofa with her. "Okay you're the guy…or the girl sporting a strap-on. Straddle my bottom leg…now pick my top leg up and put it on your opposite shoulder." They giggled together, limbs twisting. "God, I'm glad I wore capris instead of a skirt today. So now you," she continued, grasping Sango's hips and bringing her close, "as the penetrator would thrust away."

"My god. What good thing did I do to deserve this?" a voice from the doorway moaned. "Where's a camera when you need one."

Sango, blushing hotly, jumped off Kagome, who in turn got up and straightened her shirt, trying not to laugh.

"You don't need to stop!" Miroku objected frantically.

"I've gotta bail—band practice. I'll leave you two love birds be," Kagome said, pinching his cheeks and smooching him loudly on the mouth. "I hope you were taking notes," she winked, then left them alone.

Sango stood behind and wrapped her arms around her husband's chest, planting a trail of wet kisses up his neck. "Do you want to skip lunch?" she purred.

He turned and ground the hard, prominent bulge in his pants against her. "Sango, dear, I'm not currently fit to be seen in public," he whispered in her ear.

"Mmm…let's do something about that."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru finished his phone calls and packed up his laptop in preparation for leaving work early. It was a quarter before four, and he hadn't left the office before six for as long as he could remember. Since taking control of day to day operations of Taisho, Inc. he ran the company like a well-oiled machine, completely involved in every aspect of real property, both commercial and industrial, investment, and contracts. He was often accused of micro-managing, and he admitted he should cut back on the eighty-hour work week he currently maintained, but his routine of work and meetings, gym and dojo was deeply ingrained. Perhaps however, he thought, leaving early was not such a bad thing; his secretary, managers, and supervisors were all entirely competent, and he knew the company would survive more frequent absences. And though he was changing his schedule in order to play babysitter, the idea did not bother him as much as he imagined it would.

His cell rang as he handed a stack of papers to his secretary on his way out. It was Kagome. "Yes," he answered.

"Sesshoumaru? It's Kagome. Have you left your office yet?"

"I was just on my way out."

"Ohthankgod, I didn't miss you. I'll meet you in the lobby." She hung up.

"What an irritating woman," he said to no one, pocketing his phone.

He saw her as soon as he stepped off the elevator. She was waiting nearby, carrying a small artist's portfolio and wearing a clingy, sleeveless ivory dress which showed off her subtle, slender curves and incredibly long legs. Quite an improvement over her appearance that morning, he reflected rakishly.

"I'm so glad I caught you!" she pounced. "Can I hitch a ride back to Arborview with you and Rin? My appointment didn't take as long as I thought it would, but I just missed a bus and thought I could ride with you."

An arched brow rose imperiously. "Bus?"

She rolled her eyes. "Public transportation? It's kinda like a car…but bigger…rectangular. It's usually filled with people who all look like they wish they were somewhere else. Ring any bells?"

"I know what a bus is, Kagome," he scowled, hating her derisive tone. "Why don't you have your car?"

"Because driving and parking downtown make me want to do terrible things to people. I don't know what it is about this town…the per capita of lousy drivers is uncommonly high. Sometimes driving down here is unavoidable, but I take the bus whenever possible." She slung her portfolio over a shoulder and looped her free arm through his. "Which way?" she smiled up at him as they exited the building.

He looked down into her big, brown, teasing eyes. "Left. And don't start to think of me as your taxi."

"Of course not, silly!" she exclaimed. "You have to _pay_ a cabbie."

Deep brown eyes and soft body pressing against his be damned, he thought. She was as big a nuisance as his brother.

As they walked toward the parking garage, Kagome chatted amiably about Rin's excitement for him picking her up and how she wished Inuyasha could see them together. He used the keyless entry to unlock the doors, flashing the brake lights on a dark silver car.

"I hope she's not disappointed to see me with—ohmygod," she gasped. "OH MY GOD! Is that your CAR?" she screamed. "Oh my god! A BMW M6! I love this car! Is it a 2006 or 2007?"

"'07. You know cars?" he asked with surprise.

"I'm not an expert or anything. But I've been drooling over this car since BMW unveiled it a few years ago. Zero to sixty in four seconds! Ten cylinder engine! One hundred fifty five miles per hour! What's not to love? Other than fuel economy of course, but you can't be green all the time!" She slowly walked around the automobile with nothing short of ecstasy on her face. "Eee! I've never been this close to one before. It's the most beautiful car I've ever seen," she said, finally calming. She looked at him closely. "Funny…I always assumed you drove a Hummer." She couldn't help but laugh at his murderous expression. "Kidding! Kidding…don't hurt me!"

"I've changed my mind," he said dryly. "Find your own ride home."

"No! No. I'm sorry. I'll be good." Kagome had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "It really is a gorgeous car. OH! Can I drive? PLEASE! Pleaseletmedrive!"

"No. And for pity's sake, stop screaming."

"_Please_! Pleasepleaseplease. I drive a fucking mini-van for godsake. _Please_," she begged.

"No."

"Please…I'm a good driver, I swear."

"_No_," he said sharply. "Don't ask me again."

"Okay, fine," she grumbled, accepting defeat. "I'll be content just to ride in one." They got in, tossing laptop and portfolio in the back. "That car seat looks utterly incongruous back there. I can't believe you're going to let a four-year old in here."

"I didn't realize I had any options," he muttered.

"I guess not. I'll give Rin the spiel about how she can't treat this car like she does mine."

As they pulled out of the garage, Kagome pulled down her visor and peered in the mirror. "Damn I look good in here. The black leather is heavenly."

He glanced at her, lightly tanned skin luminous against the dark interior and silently agreed. Rimsky-Korsakov's _Scheherazade _floated from the sound system, violin sweetly enchanting, and she relaxed against the supple Merino leather with a soft moan.

"Ah…Rimsky-Korsakov. Of the Russian Five, I think he's my favorite." She sighed with bliss, fully enjoying the posh seats and state-of-the-art sound system.

A smile threatened his impassive expression. "Fast cars and classical music. You are full of surprises."

"Mmm, my father was a high school music teacher, so my sister and I grew up with it. My dad insisted on piano lessons starting at age five, and he wouldn't let us quit unless we found another instrument as a replacement."

"And did you?" Sesshoumaru asked. He would have preferred to quietly listen to music, but she apparently was persisting in conversation.

"Yeah, but much to his disappointment it wasn't a brass or a woodwind. He was the director of the marching band and wanted us to participate. Of course, we didn't cooperate. Your mom told me she was a concert pianist. You must have had a lot of music around too. Did she ever give you lessons?"

Sesshoumaru thought about his mother's gifted playing. When her depression waned and she got out of bed, she would sit and play for hours, he and Inuyasha on the floor by her feet, watching as she worked the pedals, enjoying her presence back in their lives. But the flashes of her vibrancy were few and far between; usually the house was filled by empty silence, interrupted by angry shouts. "She was my first teacher. I continued with lessons in boarding and preparatory school."

Kagome peeked discretely at his hand resting on the gear shifter of the manual transmission. The elegant shape and strong-looking, long fingers proved too great a temptation. She reached over and laid her own hand over his, trying not to stroke the smooth skin. He glared at her, startled. "Sorry," she spit out, quickly pulling back. "You have beautiful hands."

The intimacy of the touch and comment mildly shocked him. No previous girlfriend or lover had ever said such a thing to him before, and he felt like he'd been missing out on something.

She watched the confusion playing on his face and inwardly kicked herself for her impulsiveness. "And such looong fingers. I bet you can play a mean Liszt or Rachmaninov," she said to diffuse the tension.

"Hn. I don't play much anymore."

"Me neither. I haven't had access to a piano in years. My sister still played; one of her band mates had one. Oh, I've been meaning to mention this…next month there will be a show at the Offramp. A bunch of local bands are going to play…sort of a tribute to Inuyasha and Kikyou. It'll be Arrow's swan song, with me taking Kikyou's place. You should try to come."

"I didn't realize you played guitar."

"Yeah, guitar was the piano replacer. Actually Drew Nash, Dave Baker, and I were the founding members of the band. I used to work at the Radical Rye, that sandwich shop on Summitt," she explained. "I always would sing during my shift, and Drew was one of the regulars. One day he said he was forming a band with his friend and asked if I wanted to sing. I think he really just wanted to get in my pants, but I recognized that he and Dave had talent, so I kinda took over. I quickly changed what was originally conceived of as a heavy metal cover band with a miserable name, into alt-rock, all original songs. Kikyou took my place right after we recorded the first demo."

He couldn't help but be curious. "Why did you quit?"

"Oh…personal reasons. I'll tell you about it someday."

"And what was the first name?"

She snorted. "Nocturnal Emission. Guys can be so fucking single-minded. The whole band thing now though is a bit depressing. Arrow _should_ be just getting back from playing Bonnaroo this past weekend. Instead they're in mourning. Fortunately they all have side projects they've been involved with for the past few years, so they have other things. Kikyou felt like she was missing Rin's childhood and slowed things down a lot. This latest album was supposed to mark their reentry into the scene." She smiled sadly. "Sorry, am I boring you?"

Sesshoumaru realized he was in fact somewhat interested and hoped she'd continue. It wasn't often he conversed with anyone on matters not involving the business and financial world. "Not at all. I'm simply impressed you were able to speak for so long and only use one obscenity."

She laughed loudly. "Damn! And Inuyasha said you had no sense of humor."

"And now you're taking your sister's place?" he prompted.

"Yeah. I'm totally shitting bricks over it. Even when I played regularly I was never as good at guitar as she was. Her real strength though was in song writing. Drew and Kikyou shared song writing and lead guitar duties and were an amazing team. She was a brilliant lyricist and could kick out guitar riffs with the best of them. She pretty much excelled at everything she did."

"That's what Inuyasha said about her. That she was perfect."

"Yeah…actually more of a perfection_ist_. She could be quite a control freak. Let me put that another way—freak is such a pejorative. My sister was very…careful," Kagome said thoughtfully. "She was smart and talented and did everything extremely well, which is a good thing, because she was petrified of failure. A lot of people thought she was stand-offish. She wasn't, just very guarded, didn't let herself open up too easily. She really was warm and funny and giving, but only her closest friends knew the real Kikyou. Honestly, as perfect as she was, I kind of felt sorry for her sometimes."

"Really? Wasn't she happy?"

"Happy? I think she was very happy. But she also had impossibly high standards and was incredibly hard on herself. I gave myself permission to fuck up a long time ago, and with it came self-forgiveness. Kikyou was still struggling with that. I think it would be miserable to be perfect all the time."

Sesshoumaru pondered what she said. "Kagome, may I ask you something?"

"Fire away."

"What in the world did your sister see in my brother? Was it a case of opposites attracting?"

Kagome smiled softly. "No, it wasn't like that. I think their bond was acceptance. They never tried to change each other. After growing up with your parents asking him constantly 'why can't you be more like your brother?' Inuyasha really appreciated someone who liked him for who he was, just as he was. And the fact that the person who was so accepting was also perfect, just made it…I don't know…magical for him. I think every day he was amazed that she wanted him.

"Inuyasha had some serious confidence issues, all buried under mountains brashness and bravado. He told me once that after he was diagnosed with dyslexia and sent to that high school that specialized in learning disabilities, he finally felt that he wasn't alone in the world. All the times that he was told he was smart but lazy and worthless ended up a self-fulfilling prophecy. He quit trying, got in trouble. When he went to that school, suddenly he was with kids with attention problems and hyperactivity, and he felt for the first time he wasn't the world's biggest fuck-up. That there were other kids like him, who were getting along in life okay. Too bad he wasn't diagnosed earlier. It would have prevented a lot of heartache."

Sesshoumaru digested all this. He was already in college when he learned of his brother's learning disability, but had never thought about how it had affected him. "You still haven't answered my question, Kagome. Why did your sister like him?"

"For the same reason. He never asked anything from her; loved her as she was…all her perfections and imperfections together. She placed serious burdens on herself, and a lot of people expected the sun and the moon from her. And I can't tell you how many guys in high school tried to get Ice Princess Kikyou drunk and take advantage of her. Even some of our friends were constantly after her to let her hair down. And she did sometimes, but it had to be on her own terms and under specific circumstances. So when she met Inuyasha who just let her be, she knew he was special. That's not to say they didn't tell each other to lighten up or grow up, sometimes several times a day, but they were both strong in the knowledge that if the lightening and the growing didn't happen, the love wouldn't change."

He pulled into the drive of Rin's school and parked. Rin was standing by the door, bubbly and waving. They walked up to the building together, Sesshoumaru with the flickers of seeing his brother in a new light.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Or anything else. _


	11. Baby Books and Traffic Jams

Sesshoumaru drove around the side of the house and pulled into the garage. His mother's Mercedes and father's Lexus were both therein, leading him to the conclusion that they didn't have any meetings or charity dinners that evening. There was a time in his life, long ago, when his favorite thing was to have both his parents home, even if it meant sharing their attention with Inuyasha. Lately though, living with his father had been nearly intolerable. The elder Taisho saw Kagome's presence and her unsightly automobile as a daily reminder of his will thwarted, and Sesshoumaru knew the very idea was a perpetual insult, under his skin, itching constantly. It was a further testament to the man's intractability that he continued with his ill humor—Kagome had been quiet, polite, and friendly around his parents. Perhaps that was the explanation, he reflected. His father was annoyed at being deprived a concrete, rational reason to hate the woman.

Now home, the promise of solitude was welcome. His day at the office had begun later than it typically did; he had taken Rin to school that morning, and she had convinced him to stay so she could read to him. The books were short, all centered on the phonics of several three-and four-letter, short vowel sound words, with titles like The Hat and Ben. There was an important conference call that morning, but Rin's melodious, childish voice kept him nearly an hour. Once at work the never ending stream of appointments and calls, all featuring various levels of incompetence and irritation, continuously interrupted his attempts at his usual Thursday reading of Scarlet Letter'd, making the time drag and his head ache. He had spent an hour at the dojo after work, successfully clearing his mind, and now he had no desire but to retreat to his bedroom suite, cocktail and _The Missing Link_ in hand.

On his way to the drawing room, he was met by Kagome, looking disheveled and lost, in the corridor.

"Hi…I…you…your mom said I could…letmyselfin," she stammered. "I just came by to get Rin. She came over after dinner with her baby book, and now it's almost eight and she should really be getting ready for bed."

Sesshoumaru studied her and, despite the awkward guiltiness she exuded, saw Kagome had a warm vitality he suddenly found engaging. "I heard voices coming from the direction of my mother's sitting room. It's down this hall, to the right, but instead of going to the kitchen, continue past my father's study."

She smiled gratefully. "Thanks. No offense, but your house is obnoxiously large." She noticed the paper under his arm. "_The Missing Link_. Oh yeah…you read it for the _editorials_. Is that like how some men read _Playboy_ for the articles?" she teased. "I'm on to you, Sesshoumaru," she whispered, closing the distance between them and coyly looking up at him through long eyelashes. "I know the real reason you pick up _The Missing Link_."

He paled inwardly, trying his best to maintain composure. "Oh? And why is that?"

"I bet you are addicted to the Sudoku Challenge." The Sudoku Challenge was located next to the crossword, featuring three Sudoku puzzles, of increasing difficulty, with a time limit, under which half the general population should be able to solve each. "I can just see you with your stop watch, making sure you're above the average."

Sighing he replied, "You've found me out."

She brushed past him and made her way toward the library. "Later," she called, smiling over her shoulder.

He walked to the bar in the drawing room, took a lowball glass from the cabinet, and poured himself three fingers of Jameson Gold Reserve. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the complex oak and vanilla aromas of the whiskey, and walked to his rooms, distracted by the thought that he no longer found Kagome's flirtatious familiarity quite so abhorrent.

Twenty minutes later, showered and wearing his favorite silk pajama pants, Sesshoumaru settled into the leather couch in his study. He sipped the amber liquid and let it swirl around his tongue, immediately relaxing. Scarlet beckoned, but he forced himself to do all three Sudoku challenges first, completing them in a fraction of the allotted time. Finally gratification, long delayed.

_**Scarlet Letter'd: Advice from the Soapbox of the Damned**_

_Dear Scarlet, I'm a forty year old woman, married for nineteen years to a wonderful man. My problem is that I have never had an orgasm during sex with him. I've faked it for our entire marriage. I don't necessarily feel guilty, but he recently got a prescription for Viagra, and I thought since we will be having sex more now, I want to start climaxing during it. But how do I tell him after this long and not hurt his feelings? I play with myself regularly and know what I like. How do I get him to do those things? Signed, Forty Year Old Faker _

_Dear Faker, Hmmm…a toughie. As regular readers know already, one of my mantras is Honesty—with oneself, with one's partners. In this case however, I'm not sure it is the best course. I think hurt feelings are almost unavoidable. At least finding out, after years of thinking otherwise, that my partner was unsatisfied would definitely throw me off my game. Of course, you have every right to a satisfying sex life, and I'm happy you've decided to include your husband in this goal, but the dilemma is achieving it and keeping your marriage intact. My first advice is to stop faking. Tonight. After several times of no "orgasms", tell your husband that you are having "a bit of difficulty climaxing and let's try something new". __**Now **__is the time for honesty. Tell him what you want, the things that feel good and where. Another mantra of mine is __**Women—You Are Responsible For Your Own Orgasms!**__ Men don't have girl parts. They find them a mystery. You have to give him feedback—and not of the false moaning and screaming variety. Try experimenting with positions…and you may want to hold off on masturbation for a while, or at a minimum try to drastically vary your self-love routine. You may be a victim of your success—you can please yourself so perfectly, with such precision, that the comparatively fumbling attempts of your husband prove futile. At least you know what gets you off! You are ahead of too many women in that regard. Communication is key…this could ultimately strengthen your marriage. Good Luck! _

_Dear Scarlet, Will you please give a few pointers about blowjob etiquette? I've been dating this girl for a few months. Last night she was giving me head, and I shot my wad in her mouth. It felt great, so you can imagine I was shocked when she started spitting and yelling at me. I mean she was super-pissed. Like wants to break up with me pissed. She said I should have warned her. I'm pretty sure I didn't read any rules anywhere about this. I apologized, but also made the mistake of saying that I didn't see what the big deal was. Did I violate some huge No-No? If yes, I'd like to know so I don't do it again to some other girl in the future. Signed, Ignorant About Blowjob Manners_

_Dear Ignorant, Did you violate some unwritten rule of blowjob propriety? My opinion hardly matters, simply because your girlfriend, or perhaps ex-girlfriend, believes you did in fact do just that. And while apologies are wonderful, you did yourself no favors by belittling her concerns, which is what your comment about failing to understand the magnitude of being force-fed semen accomplished. In general warnings are good things; certainly they clear up any ambiguity. Usually when I give head, the receiver offers somewhat of a progress report, typically ending with what could be interpreted as a warning. "Ohhhh fuuuck yeah. Ohhh yeeeaahhh liike that… God like thaaat. Don't stop. For the love of god dooonn't stop. I'm gonna cuuum. Fuuuuck…I'm gonna cum." Thus I am prepared for the hot load as it hits the back of my throat and is gleefully swallowed. Yes, I do swallow and enjoy it immensely. However not all people do, and there is nothing wrong with them. Maybe your girlfriend is one of those. Or maybe she'd never done it before. It really doesn't matter. If you value your relationship with this person, apologize profusely, assert you had no intention of upsetting her, and for godsake don't say anything stupid. If you don't really care whether or not she ends it (I'll go on the record to say that her indignation was a mild overreaction and a break-up would be completely over the top), apologize anyway. And now for Scarlet's Oral Sex Good Behavior Guide. 1. Bathing and Grooming are important. Unless you know for certain your partner is into a very hairy bush or extreme pungency, err on the side of hygiene. I'm not saying douche and shave yourself bald, but a shower and a trim go a long way, for both men and women. 2. Be responsive. No one wants to suck or eat someone who just lies there. You can talk about likes and dislikes before the blessed event occurs, with specific instructions, or rely on positive feedback. Either way, odds are you are not in bed with a mind reader. He/she will not know if something is good or not unless you tell him/her. 3. Be considerate. You are not entitled to something your lover has no interest in performing. Do not grab the hair or ears and ram your dick down his/her throat, unless of course he/she is totally turned on by it, then bang away. A simple "I'm gonna cum" should be sufficient warning of impending orgasm, giving the fellator an opportunity to turn the blowjob into a handjob, or at least not be shocked by a sudden mouthful of semen. Also, though often mind-blowing, oral sex resulting in orgasm is not an obligation. Comments like "My old boyfriend swallowed all the time" or "My old girlfriend's tongue didn't get tired" will likely lead to few repeat encounters. Many view cunnilingus and fellatio as foreplay; if your partner resides in that camp, take what you can get and be grateful. 4. Return the Favor. This shouldn't need any explanation. And now a few words to the licker/eater/sucker: Oral sex is pleasurable like few things in life; always strive to become better at it. This starts with listening for cues and continues with trying new things, for example swallowing and, for the more adventuresome, adding a toy and/or anal play. Take note: This is a brief list on courtesy and consideration, not an instruction manual. I've given countless pointers on fellatio and cunnilingus in this column over the years and will doubtless take up the issues again in the future, but the scope of this letter dealt with etiquette._

Sesshoumaru tried to remember the details of his last sexual engagement and failed. I need to go on a date, he realized. It's been so long, even Kagome Higurashi is appealing.

XxXxX

Kagome found the library with little difficulty, though tearing herself away from Sesshoumaru, standing in the corridor in his shirt-sleeves, jacket and tie slung over one arm, had been conducted with great haste and consternation; he had been clearly ready to unwind, and she found his casual strength beyond sexy. Upon entering the room she saw Rin was seated on a large sofa, Mr. and Mrs. Taisho on either side of her, looking positively delighted with the book on her lap. Kikyou had kept Rin's baby book, a chronicle of her first three years, updated with the care of an archivist. Each entry was well documented, rich with detail, and interjected with her subtle humor. The girl looked up as Kagome stood awkwardly in the doorway, hating to interrupt the tender scene.

"Kagome!" she smiled. "Did you know my first word was Da Da? Did you know I liked to pull Daddy's hair when I was a baby?"

Kagome had a vision of Inuyasha and infant Rin sleeping on the couch together, the baby clutching handfuls of white hair, and she had to concentrate to keep from crying. "Yeah, honey, I know all kinds of stuff about you. Like when you were a baby and cutting teeth, your favorite thing to chew was the knuckle on your Daddy's thumb. There's gotta be pictures of it somewhere. But right now it's time to get you off to bed."

The three people on the sofa all looked disappointed, and Kagome felt horrible, but knew adequate sleep was crucial for Rin's good temperament. "Awww," Rin protested.

"Surely the child can be up a while longer," Ken resisted. "She clearly would rather stay here."

"Sad but true," Kagome said, steeling herself in the face of opposition. "Rin tends toward moodiness if she doesn't get enough sleep the night before."

Ken stood. "Now I really don't believe you. This child is a perfect angel."

"The reason," Kagome growled softly, "she is so agreeable is because I make certain she gets a lot of sleep."

"Perhaps Kagome is correct, darling," Rose said nervously. "Remember how the boys would act when they were tired."

Rin put her book on the coffee table and kissed her grandmother goodnight, but was disturbed to see her grandfather and Kagome staring at each other with narrowed eyes.

"The neighbors have told me you take that behemoth of a dog running with you. They're concerned he's vicious."

"My dog is a sweetheart. Tell the neighbors they have nothing to worry about."

"That's all fine until he gets off leash and bites someone," he retorted.

"It would never happen," Kagome said in what she hoped was reassuring tones. "Come visit us and see for yourself. The dog doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body." Kagome wanted to reduce the tension, but hated to back down.

Rin piped up, "Obi really is a good dog, grandfather." Then she yawned, loud and long.

He looked down indulgently and patted her head. "Alright young one. Goodnight."

Kagome sighed with relief. "You can keep the baby book until you're done looking at it. Kikyou packed it full of information." She noticed a rectangular board with rows of little holes next to the book and picked it up. "What a gorgeous cribbage board." It was handmade from rosewood with maple inlay, copper and pewter pegs, and brass hinges. She opened the lid, revealing two decks of playing cards housed within.

"You play?" Ken asked with feigned disinterest. He had learned to play cribbage in the navy and taught his wife and later his children, but only Inuyasha shared his level of passion for the game. It was one of the things he regretted most upon learning of his younger son's death—that they would never again have a chance to play together. Inuyasha was the only person who could beat him with any consistency, and while he hated to lose, he loved a challenge.

Kagome nodded. "Inuyasha taught me; we actually played a lot. I kinda miss it, but I'm not that good. I've always had terrible luck with cards. Would you be up for a game sometime?"

Ken looked at Kagome like a predator might regard fresh prey. "Perhaps," he replied without bothering to hide his eager deviousness.

Rin felt the mood in the room had changed. She wasn't sure exactly what had happened; at first she thought it was her fake yawn, but something about that card game made her grandfather seem not so angry with Kagome. There had been a brief flash of sadness, but it was followed by excitement, a feeling she hadn't before then sensed from him.

XxXxX

_I wanna live  
with a cinnamon girl  
I could be happy  
the rest of my life  
With a cinnamon girl._

Neil Young sang as Kagome set a plate of steaming, buttered buckwheat and blueberry pancakes in front of Rin. The girl greedily tipped the jug of maple syrup, watching the liquid slowly ooze around the empty spaces.

"Hey! You're not teaching them to swim, you know," Kagome said, gently removing the container. "Too much sweet stuff isn't good for you."

There was a knock at the door, causing Rin squirm in her chair. "It's my Uncle!"

"Come in," Kagome yelled before her niece had a chance to get off her stool. "Eat," she commanded.

Sesshoumaru walked into the kitchen and was handed a cup of coffee, which he accepted with a combination of annoyance and gratitude. "My mother asked me to bring this. It's Inuyasha's photo album, volume one."

Kagome took it, shooting Rin a look that clearly said 'after breakfast'. "Thanks! I've never seen a picture of little Inuyasha." She began to rinse the pancake batter bowl, forcing herself to wait for Rin to finish eating before opening up the photo album. "So you can still pick up Rin, right?" she asked.

"Yes, I've got an arena meeting at noon, and I should have enough time to fit in a workout at the gym before four."

"I plan to run as soon as your mom takes Rin to school, then do Pilates this afternoon. I might bus and catch a ride back with you. Which gym do you go to?"

"I thought I told you—"

"Yeahyeah, you're not my taxi," she interrupted. "I promise I won't make a peep. You won't even know I'm there."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru knew Kagome was incapable of remaining unobtrusive, especially within the confines of an automobile. "I belong to the Downtown Athletic Club."

"Ooo the DAC. I heard the facilities are incredible. What are the membership dues there? Like three grand or something?"

"Actually it's closer to eight," he corrected.

Kagome's jaw dropped. "Eight fu—" she stopped herself, mid-expletive, mindful of Rin's presence, "freaking thousand dollars! That's," she closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose, doing math, "that's six hundred and sixty some bucks a month!"

Sesshoumaru didn't really understand the Unequal Distribution of Wealth cat he was about to let out of the bag. "The fees and dues at my parents' country club are over sixty thousand annually."

Kagome was shocked and horrified. "You are fu—" she took a deep breath. "You have got to be joking! That's more than what I made the past two years combined. You are aware there is a problem with global poverty and hunger, aren't you? That even in this city there are homeless families and kids go to bed without dinner. Think of how many people's lives could be improved by the amount of money that your parents' pay to golf and play tennis!" she yelled, still incredulous. "Oh…I get it. That thing that's so hard to put a price on…not having to associate with the rabble. We poor folk can never really understand the importance of only being with people exactly ourselves."

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to be shocked, this time by Kagome's anger and rudeness. "How dare you," he said, trying to control his temper. "Do you have any idea how much money my family donates each year to charity? How many social programs we've sponsored over the past thirty years? Not that I need to justify myself or my family to you, but we have greatly increased the quality of living for this community."

"Is this the part where you tell me how much you paid in taxes last year?" she snidely spat out, then wished she could take back. "Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry." She quickly walked to him and laid a hand on his arm. "Please don't go. That was completely uncalled for. You three have been incredibly generous to me and Rin. I apologize."

They suddenly both noticed Rin, who looked about to cry. She hated it when people fought, especially those she cared about.

Kagome enfolded the girl in her arms. "Honey, I'm sorry. I'm didn't mean to upset you. I'll play nice from now on, okay?" She looked again at Sesshoumaru. "I am very sorry for what I said. Sometimes I forget to turn on the filter between my brain and my mouth. Inequality of income is one of the things that get me on my soapbox. Sorry you were in the line of fire."

The hope and fear in Rin's eyes convinced him to accept her apology. "It's alright. Komrade Kagome," he added with a hint of levity.

"You called me Komrade," Kagome gasped with delight. "You did it again! I knew you had a sense of humor!"

Rin, happy peace was restored, smiled and hugged Kagome back, snuggling her face in her aunt's chest.

"Hey! Are you wiping your mouth on me?"

Rin giggled as she sat back down and resumed eating.

"Perhaps now that your…robe is covered in syrup, you can throw it away," Sesshoumaru said.

Kagome laughed. "Are you two plotting the demise of my robe behind my back?"

"Its ugliness is frightening," he scowled.

"Whatever! It's the coolest thing I own," then continued laughing at his dubious, though amused, expression.

"Can I be done eating?" Rin mumbled through a mouthful of food.

"Yeah, you're good." Kagome, pushing the plate away, slid the photo album in between them and opened it. "Don't touch, okay honey." The first page had a picture of newborn Inuyasha in the arms of his mother, sitting up in a hospital bed. "Oohhh…widdle biddy Yasha. Look at all that white hair!"

"That's my Daddy?" Rin was amazed. "And Grandmother is so pretty!"

Sesshoumaru finished his coffee and was about to make a quick exit, when he was startled by a scream. Kagome and Rin were looking at a picture on the next page. It was of him, three-years old, holding his week-old baby brother, Welcome Home sign in the background.

"OH MY GOD! Look at how CUUUTE!" Kagome looked from the photo to him and back to the photo. "I'veneverseenanythingsodamncuteinallmylivingdays." The next picture showed Sesshoumaru petting the hair of the sleeping newborn. "Eeeee! Oh cute little you! Oh my god, you were such a biscuit! Look at your cheeks. I just want to PINCH them. Look at your pretty wavy hair. OH MY GOD! I could just EAT you!"

He hurried to the door before Kagome could attack, but she was faster than he realized. She threw herself in front of the door, blocking his progress, staring at him in adoration.

"Please don't go," she squeaked. "You're too cute to leave."

"Kagome, I know what I looked like as a child. Thank you for the coffee, but I need to go to work. Now."

He guided her, only marginally cooperative, out of the way and left the cottage, screams about his and Inuyasha's cuteness floating through the open windows and following him all the way to the garage.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru sat in the bistro of his athletic club, reading _The New Yorker_ and drinking a San Pellegrino while waiting for Kagome. Seated at the table next to him were two beefy, blond men in their mid-twenties, making crude remarks about the women passing by. He tried to concentrate on the magazine, ignoring the pair who clearly hadn't realized they were no longer in a fraternity house.

"Check it out…at the information desk," one of them said. "How'd you like to tap that ass?"

"That Asian chick? Dude, you've got the Yellow Fever bad."

Sesshoumaru looked through the decorative glass wall and was completely unsurprised to see Kagome walking toward him. She was dressed in a black, sleeveless yoga top and a breezy, grey wrap-around skirt and carrying a rolled up mat. She moved with a willowy grace that was enchanting.

"She's coming over here," the first meathead said, getting up and intercepting Kagome. "Hey babe, you're new here. At least I've never seen you before, and trust me I wouldn't forget a pretty face like yours. How would you like to join me and my buddy over there for a drink? I live just around the corner."

Kagome looked the man up and down, a highly entertained and patronizing expression on her face, as though she had just been propositioned by a twelve-year old. "Sorry," she said gently, trying not to laugh, "I'm not really into white guys right now."

Clever girl, Sesshoumaru thought. He rose and left with her.

"Damn, I didn't know they'll let any cretin in here. I thought places this expensive had standards."

"No, unfortunately the standard is ability to pay the dues. I'm sorry for that," he apologized.

"Oh, don't worry about it," she laughed. "He wasn't the first Asian fetishist to hit on me." They waited at the corner for the light to turn. "Tomorrow evening I'm having Sango and Miroku over for dinner. I'd love it if you were able to come."

"I don't think I have any plans, but I'll have to look at my calendar." He couldn't decide if he wanted make up an excuse or not.

"I hope you can. I'm cooking Indian, and I think you'd like my friends. Anyway…they are coming over at seven. We'll eat at half past, and hopefully I can get Rin in bed by nine. She can't stand the thought of missing anything, so I'm not expecting her to be very biddable. Oh, the unfairness of bedtimes!"

They entered the parking garage, and Sesshoumaru unlocked the car.

"Can I drive?" Kagome asked hopefully.

"No."

"Plea—"

"_No_."

As they made their way through traffic and Smetana's Ma vlast played on the sound system, Kagome teased, "Your mom told me she has lots of stories about you and Inuyasha as babies. I don't think she could find a more receptive audience than me and Rin."

"Wonderful," he said dryly.

"We finished looking at the photos. I swear you and Yasha were cute as fucking shit. Especially the one of you two taking a bath together. I've already scanned it and made it my computer's desktop background."

He closed his eyes and wished for death, then changed his mind and wished for Kagome's death.

"Just kidding. I haven't made it my desktop…yet."

He turned toward the entrance to the expressway.

"Don't go this way," Kagome warned.

"The traffic on Pickens is backed up because of construction; this way is faster," he explained.

"Seriously, don't go this way. It won't be any faster. Go down Pike, and I'll direct you through the neighborhoods."

He drove up the onramp. "It will be fine. I drive this all the time."

Two minutes later, traffic came to a standstill. Kagome drummed her fingertips on the door handle and hummed, while Sesshoumaru fumed silently. She decided the quiet was tiresome. "So anyway…I like your mom. What does she do all day?"

"She has many charitable functions and obligations. At the country club she plays tennis, and she has several groups with whom she plays bridge." He paused a moment. "How did your parents die?"

"Car accident in the middle of a blizzard," she replied softly. "Kikyou and I turned eighteen a week later, so when we graduated from high school, we sold the house and moved here for college."

"Where did you grow up?" He found himself slightly surprised at wanting to know more about her.

"Small town a few hours away; we referred to it as Snoresville and couldn't get out fast enough. I keep in touch with a bunch of people, but never went back."

"You said your father taught high school music. What did your mother do?"

"They both taught. My mother was an English teacher. And Driver Education instructor of all things. It was hard making and keeping friends when your mom handed out detention like other kids' moms handed out cookies."

"I can imagine."

They slowly passed a billboard advertising the upcoming _Transformers_ movie. "Are you excited about _Transformers_? Inuyasha was totally pumped for it—said he never missed an episode of the animated series. I'll have to see it in his honor. Wanna see it with me?"

"I never watched it. My dorm room at boarding school didn't have a television."

She looked at him quizzically. "Wow. So you kinda grew up in a pop culture vacuum. You were like a…_lab rat_ or something. You were like a bubble boy!"

He sighed with irritation. "I was nothing like a lab rat or a bubble boy. I had a perfectly normal childhood."

"Yeah right. Maybe compared to a kid raised by wolves or dingoes or something, but living apart from one's family, starting at the age of ten, is not the typical American experience."

The flow of traffic started, but stopped again thirty seconds later.

Kagome fished her cell out of her bag. "I'll just call Rin's school and tell them we're stuck on the expressway. It's no big deal; Inuyasha was late picking Rin up at least half the time."

Sesshoumaru groaned at the idea of establishing a reputation for irresponsibility like Inuyasha's.

She turned to him, her smile honest and glittering. "You know, Sesshoumaru, I never would have expected you to be such good company in a traffic jam."

Though Kagome was entirely irksome, he found himself concurring. "Hn." The woman was loud, emotional, and painfully direct, but he admitted, she was intelligent, open, and undeniably physically attractive.


	12. Dinner Party

As Sesshoumaru walked to the guest house for dinner, the exotic aromas of garlic and ginger, cardamom and cumin grew stronger, instantly transporting him to the Chandni Chowk Bazaar he visited when in Delhi on a business trip two years earlier. It always amazed him how closely one's sense of smell was tied to memory. The scent of Arpege, his mother's favored perfume, always brought up visions of her wearing chiffon and pearls, kissing him goodbye before she and his father left for a New Year's Eve gala the year he was eight. And the smell of mothballs, reminding him of packing a long-stored suitcase before being sent to boarding school, never failed to sicken him.

His knock produced a shriek from Kagome, followed by a hastily thrown open door. Rin rushed forward and attached herself to his leg, while the Wolfhound nudged his hand until the backs of ears were adequately scratched.

Kagome swooped in for the rescue. "Off!" she commanded. Oberon, good dog that he was, retreated back to the huge knuckle bone with which he had been busy, and Kagome tapped Rin on the head. "You too. Off."

Rin didn't relinquish the leg, but instead looked up at him and grinned, revealing a fat lip and a new gap in her front teeth.

"Look at you," Sesshoumaru observed. "Another tooth gone."

"Obi and me were playing, and we bumped heads. My tooth came out and my mouth bleeded a lot, but I hardly cried at all."

Kagome smiled. "_Very_ brave. Actually she's lucky she didn't swallow it. Between the lip and the tooth, blood…everywhere," she shuddered. "Too bad it isn't closer to Halloween; you could go as a hockey player. Now let the man in!"

Rin reluctantly extricated herself, and Sesshoumaru handed Kagome a bottle of wine.

She examined it gratefully, saying, "Ooo, Cakebread Cellars Cabernet. We'll have this with dinner; it's way better than what I was planning to serve." She stood on tiptoes and lightly kissed his cheek. "Thank you! Welcome! I'm so glad you could come."

"So am I," he stated after a moment's hesitation. Having the reputation as the most eligible bachelor in the city, he was used to the fawning, hanging attention of women. The sheer number of gold diggers and their complete shameless obviousness disgusted him, but the honesty in Kagome's warm brown eyes was different. "My parents send their thanks for the offer, but they have a prior engagement."

"Yeah, your mom stopped by this afternoon. Another time, I hope. Is it really seven?" she asked with alarm, coming to her senses.

"Nearly," he answered.

"Miroku and Sango make a religious practice of punctuality," she said, untying the long white apron from around her waist, showing a great deal of shapely leg under a short skirt. "I need to change. Be right back. Rin, entertain our guest."

She sprinted down the hallway, and Rin took her uncle's hand and led him to the coffee table in the living room.

"Wanna see my pictures?"

There was a rainbow of colored pencils scattered around a vast expanse of drawings. Most of them depicted three figures, two dark haired and one light, all with smiling suns and flowers surrounding.

"This one and this one is me and Mommy and Daddy. This one is me and Grandmother and Grandfather. This one and this one is me and Kagome and you," she explained, presenting several of them one at a time. The last two portrayed the smaller of the two black-headed figures with visible holes in a smile.

He was almost at a loss for words. "Rin, they are lovely. And so are you."

The child blushed prettily. "Thank you," she said, politely as her mother had taught. "Kagome was nervous today about dinner. She wants you to like us. I told her you already do, but she said you think she's annoying." She studied him and smiled, convinced of her initial perceptions. "Kagome's a good cook. She likes spicy stuff, but today she promised not to make it too hot. Dal is my favorite. It looks like throw-up, but it's yummy."

Kagome breezed back into the room, clad in a rose-colored dress covered with intricate silver embroidery that stopped above her knees and clung invitingly. "Fastest clothing change ever." She observed the pictures that held their attention. "Rin is quite the budding little artist. Her use of color tells a wonderful story."

Sesshoumaru smoothed the cowlick that refused to be tamed. "Cute _and_ talented. Perhaps I could take one or two of them to your grandparents. I'm sure they'd be happy to see."

Rin picked out a few pictures and handed them over. "Do you want one too," she asked shyly.

"I'd love one, thank you." He crouched down next to the girl as she sorted through her drawings, enchanted by the innocent sweetness in eyes so like his own.

Kagome watched them. Sesshoumaru projected a calm strength and confidence that she was sure Rin sensed and found reassuring, but he also seemed genuinely taken with her. She sighed wistfully and fought tears, knowing how easily Rin was embarrassed by her happy crying. There was a well-timed knock at the door. "That'll be Miroku and Sango."

She let them in, hugs and kisses exchanged, dog petted.

"Happy housewarming, dear," Miroku said affectionately, giving her a bottle with a large red bow tied around the neck. "For you."

"Ooo _bubbly_," she purred, recognizing the gold Krug label. "But Miroku, don't you remember what happened the last time I drank champagne?"

He snickered. "I remember what happened the last time you drank an entire bottle of champagne _by yourself_…I was hoping you'd share this."

"Me? Share?" she asked innocently, batting her eyes.

"Kagome, it smells divine! And this place looks wonderful!" Sango exclaimed, marveling at the open floor plan of the living and dining areas and kitchen. "I can't believe you've only been living here a little over a week. We had boxes everywhere a month after we'd moved."

"Yeah…with as much chaos as I tend to surround myself, I needed at least one thing to be finished and a source of serenity. How about a tour?"

"Sango! Miroku!" Rin screamed, running at them. "Come see my bedroom!" She grabbed their hands and pulled.

Kagome realized something. "Wait a second, tiger. Sesshoumaru, you remember Sango I'm sure, but I don't think you've ever been introduced to her husband, Miroku Takeda."

"Inuyasha spoke of you as a good friend; it's nice to meet you." The two men shook hands.

"Good to meet you as well," Miroku replied. "I saw you at their wedding and their funeral, and of course the restaurant," shooting Kagome a mildly accusatory glare, "but we'd not been introduced. I'm glad I'll have someone to converse with about something other than shoes."

Sango looked down at the strappy Mary Jane-style clogs on Kagome's feet. "New shoes! Baby, those are _gross_, they're so tasty. Dansko?"

"Yeah, aren't they hotness. Sensible _and_ stylish."

"See what I mean," Miroku sighed. "I bet between the two of them there are at least five hundred shoes, four hundred fifty of which are black."

Sango and Kagome looked at him with pity. "One can never have too many black shoes," they retorted simultaneously.

"Come on!" Rin whined. Shoes typically interested her as much as they did Miroku.

"Wanna see the damage?" Kagome playfully asked Sesshoumaru. "I don't think you've witnessed what I did to your guest house."

Rin and Kagome led their visitors through bedrooms, studio, bathroom, and sunroom, to appreciative comments about the displayed art and general lived-in feel. Sesshoumaru was taken aback that a building which had been so lifeless was now vibrant and welcoming. Kagome's eclectic taste in décor and furnishings, reflecting her artistic background, impressed him, and he wondered why his mother paid her decorator tens of thousands of dollars to do what Kagome had apparently achieved so effortlessly.

"Kagome," Sango enthused as they entered the kitchen, "it looks fabulous! And this is like your dream kitchen. I'm so happy everything worked out."

"Me too," she said, smiling at Sesshoumaru. "Well, I've got a couple more things I need to do, but everything is timed to be ready at seven thirty." She put the champagne in the wine refrigerator and took out a different bottle. "Would anyone like a glass of Chardonnay?" She took out stemware and began to pour.

"I'll pass, since I'm driving," Miroku said before she poured a fourth, then knelt in front of Rin. "Rin Rin, what happened to your face?"

The girl smiled proudly, showing off empty spaces.

"Kagome, your niece seems to have some kind of…mysterious tooth-losing disease."

Rin giggled. "You're silly, Miroku. Come see the new toys my grandfather got me! You come too!" she ordered, looking at Sesshoumaru.

The men smiled indulgently at the child and followed in obedience, leaving Kagome and Sango alone.

"What should I do to help?" Sango inquired.

"Um…keep me company? I've got everything prepped; I just need to get the green beans going." She took a skillet from the hanging pot rack and spooned ghee into it and turned the heat on the stove.

"So how you holding up, honey?" Sango knew Kagome probably was due for a long talk.

She sighed. "I'm okay. Single parenting has not shredded my sanity, though the real test will come on Monday; Rin is done with her preschool summer program, so no more long break in the middle of the day. I may need to get sloppy drunk at this point next week."

Sango giggled wickedly. "I think that can be arranged. We can go dancing at that new club downtown. I bet Jak would even stay sober and drive for the promise of seeing you cut loose."

"God that sounds like heaven. It's been ages since I let my hair down." She adjusted the heat and took a sip of wine. "The Taishos have been great though. Rin's bedroom in their house will be ready in a couple days, so we'll probably do a test run of her sleeping over there. I'm sure she'll be fine; she totally trusts them." She paused a moment, thinking. "Mr. Taisho especially. He still can't stand me, but he's incredible with Rin. Taught her to tie her shoes the other day. Something I've been trying for months!"

"'Wow! That's great…not the can't standing you part, but I'm glad Rin is adjusting to her new life."

"Yeah," Kagome laughed, "her grandparents are determined to spoil the living shit out of her. Child's never been on so many shopping sprees in her life. Toys…clothes. I'll have to say something."

"Keep in mind they've got four years of presents to make up for," Sango reminded her gently.

Kagome threw mustard seeds and minced garlic into the melted ghee, swirling the pan to the sounds of sizzling and popping. "Sango, I need to mention something as long as we're alone. I looked at some emails for the column last night, and one of them is from a horny virginity pledger. He wants to get up his girlfriend-of-two-month's skirt so bad, he's thinking of asking her to marry him."

"Two months isn't very long to make a life commitment. How do plan to respond?" Sango asked.

"I have no fucking idea," she replied tiredly. "That's the problem. You can imagine what I think of virginity pledges. It's not necessarily that I'm against them…okay, I _am_. They're just so…Sex Negative. God knows there are ass loads of people out there having sex when they really shouldn't be. Denial, dishonesty, being completely emotionally unequipped to deal with the consequences. But putting virginity on a pedestal of purity, by extension reinforces the idea that sex, especially sex outside marriage, is dirty and wrong. More than all that though, this email is very genuine. He's honestly asking me for advice about a weighty issue. I don't want to belittle him by coming across as snarky or irreverent."

"You, snarky? Irreverent?" Sango actually knew how seriously Kagome took her column, but couldn't resist teasing. "And here I thought you were ready for another barrage of hate mail from the Religious Right."

"Yeah…good times. I'm due for another death threat." Her voice oozed cynicism, and Sango regretted making light of the subject.

"Kagome, you'll do fine. I know what I'd tell a client in that situation. If you'd like me to proof your response before it goes to print, I'd be happy to."

Kagome dumped green beans from a colander into the skillet, stirred, and covered it with a lid. "Thanks. I just wish I had more confidence giving advice about marriage. What the hell do I know about wedded bliss? I used to go through boyfriends like toothbrushes—new one every three months."

"Kagome, you're open-minded enough to wrap yourself around the concept of a long term relationship," she said. "And your advice to gay men proves you don't need personal experience in order to have insight into the human condition. Miroku and I probably wouldn't be together had it not been for your meddling. And I know Jak and Bank say the same thing. Now when are you going to let me play matchmaker for you to return the favor?"

Kagome's scowl, turned into a naughty grin. "I'd let you set me up with your cute, little brother." Sango's brother had just finished his freshman year of college.

"Kohaku?" Sango couldn't keep the horror from her face. "Don't even think about it! You'd eat him alive."

"Not eat, just…chew on him a little. I'd follow the campsite rule."

Sango, unconvinced, frowned. "Leave him in better shape than you found him? I doubt that."

"You're so sweet and overprotective," she cooed, as she carefully pulled a large, enameled cast iron pot from the oven. Sango helped her spoon the rich, reddish sauce and meat into a serving dish.

"Looks incredible. Is it lamb?" The mouth-watering smells made Sango realize how hungry she was, having skipped lunch after Ultimate practice.

"Yep. Rogan Josh. Don't worry; it's nowhere near as fiery as the Vindaloo I made the last time. Basmati rice with peas, lentils with spinach, and beets with onions are all on the stove with the beans. Totally digging the six-burner stovetop, by the way." She sprinkled garam masala on the food, then quickly hugged her friend. "I'm so glad you could come! Let's get the others."

XxXxX

"Cheers!" Four champagne flutes chimed brightly, as a new beginning was toasted.

"And I owe it all to you," she thanked Sesshoumaru, bubbles tickling her nose.

The dinner had gone off well; all the preparation Kagome had put into planning, grinding spices, and chopping seemingly endless onions to the pain of stinging eyes was appreciated, and appropriate compliments were paid. She beamed when Sesshoumaru told her it was the best Indian cuisine he'd had since his visit there, and Miroku and Sango, frequent beneficiaries of Kagome's cooking, told her she'd outdone herself. Conversation flowed smoothly, though whenever the subject matter turned to the arena or local politics or anything that held little interest for a four-year-old, Rin redirected the attention to herself. Not that any of them, all fond of the child, minded that much. Kagome was pleased, but not surprised, that Miroku and Sesshoumaru seemed to have developed a rapport. Miroku was an incredibly easy person to talk to, as was Sango, and Kagome decided that perhaps it was only around her that Sesshoumaru seemed so bored and irritated.

Rin fussed when she was told it was time for bed, but a full-on temper tantrum was avoided by Sesshoumaru's quick intervention. He would read a book and tuck her in, _if_ she cooperated. Rin happily agreed. While she was being put to bed, the others did dishes, and when finished, they all sat on the patio to enjoy champagne.

"So Kagome, how goes band practice?" Miroku asked. He had only seen Kagome in Arrow once before she quit, back in the band's infancy, and looked forward to her upcoming performance.

"It's been great! It took a bit for the guitar thing to come back to me, but it's like riding a bike, and the guys have been really patient. They decided not to do any of the new songs, so we've been concentrating on all the stuff I mostly already know. And Drew and I have been working on some new vocal harmonies, so all good. How's life in the legal lane?"

Miroku groaned. "I go to court on Tuesday for the worst divorce in history. These people take out restraining orders against each other every other week. My client's wife saw him with another woman at _her_ Starbucks, so she called 911 and wanted to have him arrested for stalking her. When the police didn't haul him away in handcuffs, she went to the courthouse and filed a domestic violence order."

Kagome was shocked. "Poor guy. Hell hath no fury…"

"I actually hate my client and have no sympathy for him. I'm convinced he's hiding assets, but he's sure his accountant covered his ass during deposition." Miroku shook his head in disgust.

"Why don't you just get out of the case?" Sango asked, rolling her eyes. Her husband's stories of work ceased to amuse long ago and now only angered her that he brought stress home with him.

"Because he pays his bills, darling," he replied cynically. "And if I fired every client I didn't like, I wouldn't be practicing. At least there aren't any minor children in this particular case. Those are the worst."

"Aww poor widdle ambulance chaser," Kagome teased, "are those mean people making you miserable?"

Miroku couldn't keep from laughing. "Let me tell you about the couple that came in for a consult yesterday; you'll enjoy this Kagome."

She squirmed in anticipation. Miroku always had great stories about stupidity and poor judgment, and Kagome reveled in Schadenfreude. "Lay it on me."

"They found a girl on the internet and invited her over from a threesome. Apparently they hit it off, because she stayed for the better part of a month. When she moved out, the woman noticed that most of her jewelry was missing. They were able to track the sexy little thief down and wrote her a letter saying that if she returned the pilfered items, they wouldn't call the cops. This couple, however, has a rather prominent place in the community and had no intention of contacting law enforcement, fearing exposure. Unfortunately for them, their bluff was called. She informed them that not only would she be keeping the jewels, they would, for the foreseeable future, be sending her cash."

Kagome rubbed her hands together with wicked glee. "Ooo trouble…what'd you advise?"

"They want to keep the matter private, but even if they file a civil suit it'll be in the public record. And I have a feeling this girl won't go away; she'll up the ante as long as they continue to play along. Basically life as they know it is over. They can have their personal lives and reputations in the open or be under the thumb of an extortionist. My advice was to go to police." He thought for moment. "I wonder what Scarlet would say."

"She would say, 'Haven't I told you people not to trust everyone you meet on the internet and don't you know there are discreet professionals for those in your position?'" Kagome said without thinking, then realized her faux pas. "Not that I read that column or anything," she said quickly.

Miroku was dumbfounded. "What do you mean you don't read Scarlet Letter'd? I could almost see you writing it."

"A trashy sex advice column?" Kagome objected, a little too strenuously, she feared. "Read about a bunch of clueless people and their problems? I've got less important things to do." Kagome stole a glance at Sango, who was trying not to laugh. Her friend and her editor were the only people aware of Kagome's alter ego. "I only read _The Link_ for the editorials," she said, winking at Sesshoumaru. She was too busy trying to cover her tracks to notice his vaguely guilty expression.

The conversation turned to the arena project and the city's professional basketball team. Sango and Kagome listened quietly for a few minutes before rolling their eyes at each other, scooting chairs closer together, and gossiping about friends, family, and acquaintances.

"So do you think Kouga will ask her to move in with him, or do you think he's still waiting for you to come around?"

Kagome buried her face in her hands. "Surely he's still not holding out hope. That was years ago for fucksake."

"Poor Kouga. I wish he'd come to his senses. Such a great guy, and Ayame isn't that bad…I think if he would commit to her, she'd get over her weird possessive insecurities."

"God I hope so. Sometimes I feel like she'd kill me if she could get away with it. I mean goddam, I could count on one hand the number of times we were naked together," she said dismissively.

The women realized the men had become silent and were now listening.

"Sooo…what book did Rin have you read," Kagome asked Sesshoumaru, rapidly changing the subject.

"She didn't want me to read to her. She requested a story about Inuyasha's childhood."

"And…" Kagome prompted, eager to know more.

"I told her about his seventh birthday, when he crashed his new bike into the gate at the end of the drive and ended up with twelve stitches. Many of Inuyasha's birthdays were marked by a trip to the emergency room. Bicycle, skate board, baseball…chemistry set."

The buoyant laughter had a trace of melancholy.

"He was a wild man, wasn't he? God I miss him." Kagome wiped at her eyes. "My partner in crime."

"You two definitely brought out the worst in each other," Sango said.

"_Best_ in each other," Kagome corrected indignantly.

"Oh really," Sango said dubiously. "Like when we all went to Six Flags, and you two decided tripping sounded fun?"

Kagome cringed at the memory. "Not one of our brightest moments. I thought I was going to die five fucking thousand times that day." She looked carefully at Sesshoumaru. She wanted them to be friends and hoped he didn't seem too appalled, but his expression was unreadable. "For future reference, roller coasters and hallucinogens aren't a good combination. Unless of course you're Inuyasha; he had a ball. I screamed so much I couldn't talk the next day. I think Kikyou really actually hated us for a little while."

"And who could blame her?" Miroku scoffed. "I wouldn't want to be stuck babysitting you idiots."

"We were little shits back then weren't we? Poor Kikyou. She was a saint."

Miroku got up. "And on that note, I think it's time to say thank you and goodbye. It's after ten, and I've got a trial to prepare for tomorrow."

After farewell handshakes and embraces, Kagome awkwardly realized she and Sesshoumaru were now alone, and she was about to excuse herself when he surprised her by asking if she'd like another glass of wine.

"I'd love one," she responded, wondering if perhaps Rin was right in saying that he didn't hate her. If he did, he would have said goodnight, not offered her another drink, she rationalized. "Though I'll warn you, that champagne went right to my head. If I say something stupid or insulting, just ignore me."

Sesshoumaru handed her a glass of wine and sat. "I like your friends. Miroku is very different than what I had imagined. I must have assumed that Inuyasha's friends were like him."

"They're good people. Yasha and Miroku lived together in the dorm freshman year. They were close. Sango and Kikyou were dorm mates too. The five of us did everything together."

"Didn't you feel like a fifth wheel around them?"

"Nah. Kikyou and I had always been together, and Inuyasha and I were two peas in pod. And sometimes I had a boyfriend too. Just not the past oh…year or two."

He quirked an elegant brow questioningly.

"I'm experimenting with a prolonged period of partial celibacy." She refused to elaborate.

He looked at her intently. "And what happened the last time you drank champagne?"

She blushed, remembering. "We were at a friend's art opening. It was in one of those galleries downtown that are located on the first floor of a high rise office tower. Okay…champagne makes me sleepy. I had gone to the restroom and on the way back I sat down in one of those shoe shine chairs to make a phone call. Well, I fell asleep and when I woke up the fucking place was dark and deserted and locked up."

He watched her, detached as usual, but with mild curiosity. "What did you do?"

"Panicked, of course. I set off the building's alarm trying to escape, and my dumb ass was almost arrested for breaking and entering."

"Do you often find yourself in situations of that nature?"

"Uhh…yeah. Trouble and I are close friends." She bit her lip in embarrassment, but couldn't keep quiet. "It was hard growing up sometimes, with a near-perfect sister, being in her shadow. But that all changed when we were thirteen."

He waited for her to continue.

"My sister and I were supposed to go to sleep-away camp that summer, but I broke my arm falling out of a tree. So Kikyou went, and I was left home."

"That doesn't sound like a positive development," he commented dryly.

"No, but sometimes destiny works in mysterious ways," she chanted eerily. "My father directed a marching band camp in the summer, and my mother worked for the Department of Motor Vehicles doing the driving part of the license examination. I was actually grounded the whole summer—"

"Is that related to falling out of the tree?" he interrupted.

"Yeah…we were trying to sneak out of the house to see _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ at midnight," she admitted reluctantly. "Sneaking out, late at night, to see an R-rated movie. My parents were not charmed. Kikyou and I had an agreement that we'd always cover for each other, no matter what, so I told them I was going by myself. Anyway…my parents didn't trust me to stay home alone, all day, every day; they thought I'd have my friends come over or something," she explained, "so I had to go over to my mom's younger brother's house while they were at work. Her brother, Souta, was only twenty-one, and just as cool as shit. He was a total gear head, spent the whole day working on cars in his garage. He was a devoted Audiphile, but dabbled in other German automobiles, BMW and Porsche mostly, but would occasionally tinker with Mercedes and VWs."

"That explains your reaction to my car."

"Yeah. His love of all cars Deutsche rubbed off on me. Anyway, he had a constant parade of other car boys in and out of the garage. They all had girlfriends, most of them bored, having been dragged along, and they thought Souta's little niece was just _too_ fucking cute. So they kinda took me under the collective wing and introduced me to all sorts stuff. New music mostly. It was 1992…Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, for example. Then Souta decided I was being corrupted by that 'sissy college music' as he called it. So he schooled me in what was, in his opinion, the only music that mattered, old school punk and classic heavy metal. Led Zeppelin, The Stooges, and lots and lots of Black Sabbath."

She paused while Sesshoumaru refilled their glasses, amazed that he hadn't told her to shut up yet.

After he sat back down and didn't bring up anything else, she continued. "That summer was so significant for me. Life changing, really." She stopped and reflected, sipping wine. "There was a music zine a few years ago that had an article about Arrow, and in it Kikyou was portrayed as the embodiment of an angel and I was her polar opposite. Total bad seed. But it wasn't like that at all. We did the same things, especially as kids. But I had spent the first thirteen years of my life feeling like Fate had pinned a Kick Me sign to my back. For example, when we were young and went to the playground and there was a mud puddle, _I_ was the one to accidentally step in it. If we were both trying to help my mom with the housework, _I_ was the one who broke Gandma's antique Japanese teapot while dusting, got the drapes hopelessly stuck in the vacuum, and overfed the whole aquarium full of tropical fish."

"If you were both trying to sneak out, you were the one to fall out of a tree?" The pattern was clear.

"Precisely," she smiled. "Anyway…so that summer while Kikyou was away at camp, I listened to music with my cool Uncle Souta, got my ears double pierced, learned how to change the oil in a car, learned how to swear effectively, smoked my first cigarette, and kissed my first boy. He was the fourteen year-old brother of Souta's girlfriend. I was allowed access to shit that, only the year before, had been completely forbidden. Kikyou, on the other hand, came home from camp with a serious case of poison ivy and was positively green with envy at my experiences. I felt for the first time that I wasn't doomed. And that was all it took, a different attitude. My luck changed. I didn't completely stop fucking up necessarily, but I no longer felt it was predestined."

Sesshoumaru contemplated what she'd told him. "Sounds similar to what you told me about Inuyasha's experience when his dyslexia was recognized and he went to the Frazier School."

"Very much, I guess. You know though, the more I think about it, that summer was the beginning of a lot of my bad habits. Boy kissing, cig smoking, cursing."

"You smoke?" he asked with disgust.

"Used to. I quit over four years ago. The hardest thing I've ever done. Literally. I had to stop drinking for four months, and I obsessively played paddle ball; I had to keep my hands busy."

"Paddle ball?"

"You know, that toy…wooden paddle with the bouncy ball attached by an elastic string." She thought she saw a flit of recognition. "I ended up really good at it."

"So you quit one filthy habit…when are you going to clean up your language?" he taunted.

"Oh, does my potty mouth hurt your ears," she teased back. "I've been really good around your parents, and you must have noticed I keep myself in check around Rin. I let an occasional Shit slip sometimes, but I've never let an F-bomb go in front of her."

"You came pretty close the other day," he reminded her.

"Close doesn't count," she defended herself.

The wine was gone. Sesshoumaru stood and offered her a hand up. She accepted it and couldn't help but let the touch linger. His skin was warm, palms slightly calloused, fingers strong. Her pulse raced, and she suddenly felt like she was playing with fire.

"The evening was lovely, Kagome. Thank you."

She blinked to clear her head; his attractiveness was beguiling. I've consumed way too much alcohol, she decided. "You're welcome. Goodnight, Sesshoumaru." She reluctantly freed her hand and turned to walk back to the guest house.

He watched her go, slender and graceful, followed by a huge, black, dog-shaped shadow.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Nor can I lay claim to Arpege, Cakebread Cellars, Krug, Starbucks, Six Flags, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Audi, BMW, Porsche, Mercedes, Volkswagen, Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Led Zeppelin, The Stooges, or Black Sabbath. Thank you for reading; reviews, as always, are appreciated. _


	13. A New Bedroom and House Taisho

Rin was in her new room in the Taisho mansion, helping the housekeeper, Anita, put purple dragonfly sheets on the canopied bed. Her bedroom, twice as big as her old one on Third Street, was decorated to look like an enchanted forest, complete with murals of trees, woodland animals, and fairies. It had two closets, one full of her new toys, and its own bathroom. But her favorite thing about it was the play treehouse. When her grandmother asked her if she would like an actual treehouse in her new bedroom, Rin thought it was a joke. She could barely contain her excitement when the room was finished, and the treehouse was even better than she imagined it would be. It was made of real wood, reached up to the twelve-foot ceiling, had a ladder and a climbing rope, and was draped with gauzy, green silk voile, matching the canopy that floated around her bed.

Rin would sleep there for the first time that night and was a little nervous. She had spent the night away from home before, with her former downstairs neighbors and at Shippou's, but had always been in a sleeping bag next to her friend, not all alone. Kagome reassured her that it was fine if she needed her in the middle of the night; she was only a phone call and a two-minute walk away.

"There you go, sweetie," Anita said, piling up pillows. She was quite charmed by this littlest Taisho and, despite evidence in the distinctive eyes, could hardly believe that the open, friendly child shared genes with her employers. She had worked for the Taishos for over twenty years, cooking and cleaning six days a week and knew them well. They were decent people, treating her with fairness and generosity, but she had never met such a screwed up family. Aloof and resentful with each other at times, sometimes smothering, they were never completely comfortable around one another. Anita was genuinely fond of the family and wished them the best, and she wondered if the honest little girl and her aunt would help finally sort them out.

Sesshoumaru quietly strode into his mother's newly finished attempt at winning Rin over. He knew she paid a team of muralists and carpenters a fortune to have the room ready as soon as possible and was pleased they decided to go with the Magical Forest theme over the Pink Princess theme, but couldn't help but notice that Rin's bedroom in the guest house had the child's personality written boldly on it; this room, while attractive, looked self-consciously pulled from the pages of a designer's portfolio. "Is it true what I've heard?" he asked, announcing his presence. "We're to have a new inhabitant in the house tonight?"

Rin launched herself at him. "Uncle Sesshoumaru!" He set his briefcase down quickly enough to catch her.

"Hello Anita. How was your day, Rin?"

"Good," she nodded. "See my new room? It's so fancy! I'm gonna sleep here tonight."

Mrs. Taisho rushed in, dressed in a navy Chanel skirt suit and fiddling with an earring. "Sesshoumaru, I'm so glad you're home. Will you walk Rin back to the guest house? I'm running late for a library board meeting. Anita, thank you, the room looks wonderful; I'll see you tomorrow morning." She kissed Rin on the cheek. "Darling, I'll be home in plenty of time to tuck you into bed."

Her son and granddaughter walked with her as far as the garage, said their goodbyes, then continued to the guest house, Rin chattering animatedly about her pillows and electric toothbrush.

Upon entering they were met with the delicious smell of roasting vegetables and thyme, and Sesshoumaru wondered with greedy curiosity what was in the oven.

Suddenly Rin was silent, her face frozen with alarm. "Kagome's sad," she said and ran into her aunt's bedroom.

Kagome was sitting in bed next to a sleeping Oberon, laptop resting on her thighs, sobbing into a handkerchief. Rin climbed up and hugged her.

Kagome set the computer aside and drew the child into her lap. "Hi honey, I'm okay." She smiled through tears. "I was catching up on some _Shippuuden_ episodes I missed when we were moving. I just finished the one when Gaara dies."

Rin hugged her hard. "Gaara dies?" she whispered with concern.

"Yeah. I already knew about it from the manga, and Chiyo-sama brings him back to life, but it was still sad." She sniffed loudly.

Rin loosened her hold and looked over her shoulder at Sesshoumaru, standing in the doorway. "Gaara is Kagome's third favorite _Naruto_ character," she explained.

"Aaagghhh! Sesshoumaru…I didn't know you were standing there!" Kagome shrieked. She tried to laugh as nonchalantly as possible, while desperately stuffing plush Gaara and Kakashi under the blankets.

His single eyebrow, raised in amusement, made her squirm uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a twelve-year-old boy." He had read just a few days ago in the business section about the continued popularity of Japanese manga and anime and its economic impact in North America in various areas of pop culture and the internet; the title Rin mentioned was one of the examples in the article.

"For your information," Kagome said, "anime and manga have appeal that reaches far beyond the adolescent male demographic. Most of it is well done, some exceptionally so. Anime is the reason I hardly watch any normal television at all."

"Hn." He was obviously unconvinced and still highly entertained.

"Seriously. There are some that are simply outstanding. Intricate plots…characters developed with amazing depth."

He said nothing in response, stooping to retrieve a fallen object from the wood floor. "Interesting." The plush figure had long black hair and light purple eyes with no pupils.

"Give me Chibi Neji _now_." She hoped the imperiousness of her glare reached Sesshoumaru-like gravity.

"What's wrong with her eyes?"

"_His_. Not a damn thing. Now gimme."

He handed over the doll to its indignant owner, but couldn't resist needling. "So does this mean you are involved in cons and fanfiction as well?"

Kagome's mouth gaped; he was not completely ignorant on the subject. "Fanfiction?" she asked shrilly. "I'd never do anything that geeky."

Rin had heard enough. Her father had frequently taunted Kagome about something called fanficiton and her writing of it a long time ago. "But Kag—"

Kagome, feeling like she was being attacked on two fronts, covered the girl's mouth as quickly and gently as possible to prevent her from saying anything else. "Rin, honey," she said, "there's a new Ben and Jerry's flavor in the freezer. Why don't you go try it out?" Time to divide and conquer.

"Isn't it almost dinner time?" she asked suspiciously. Normally Kagome subscribed to her mother's belief that the spoilage of appetite was to be avoided at all costs.

"Oh…go ahead. A little won't hurt."

Rin wouldn't argue with that. She ran out of the room, leaving Kagome self-consciously sitting on her bed as Sesshoumaru leaned against the door jamb and observed her, eyebrow still quirked.

She couldn't take the silence and his mocking gaze and reverted to her usual behavior of When in Doubt, Talk. "Sooo…yeah. I watch a lot of anime. You should give it a try, before you go making fun of me. Ooo, there's one that I bet you'd like. The setting is an incredibly complex, well-imagined world, about two brothers, with a beautiful musical leitmotif…I know you'd enjoy it."

Rin stomped into the room, wearing an expression of irritation far more like Sesshoumaru's than anything Kagome could hope to muster. "Kagome! Chubby Hubby is NOT a new flavor! You're a liar pants. And I know you write fanfiction too."

Kagome buried her face in her hands. "Okay, fine, you've busted me," she grumbled, raising her now bright-red face. "I wrote fanfiction obsessively my junior year of college." She sighed with resignation, not meaning to include that adverb. The admission, once begun, blossomed into a full-blown confession. "Obsessively _is_ the operative word. It started out innocently enough…but kinda took over my life. It was so bad I stopped sleeping and bathing and…going to class. If it weren't for Kikyou I probably would have ended up on academic probation or flunked out."

"Did Mommy pretend she was you?" Rin liked the idea of her mother saving Kagome and had a vision of them trading places with each other.

"No sweetie, your Mommy would never have done something unethical like that. Not that I didn't beg her. She cyber-nannied me…installed filtering software on my computer, but instead of blocking out porn, she did it so I couldn't access anything remotely related to fanfiction. Your mom could be a real buzzkill sometimes. But she saved me. I was extremely grateful, once I stopped throwing temper tantrums and went through withdrawal."

Rin wasn't exactly sure what it was that her mother had done, but it seemed good.

Sesshoumaru shook his head with condescension.

"Hey! Don't judge. It's true I went a little overboard, but at my peak, I was pretty good. I played exclusively in the Buffyverse, all AU, mostly Spike and Angel slash, but they weren't my OTP or anything. To paraphrase Frank Booth from _Blue Velvet_ 'I'll 'ship anything that moves!' I put Buffy and Drusilla together…Buffy and Faith…Buffy and Giles. Buffy was always the sub. Those were primarily PWP one-shots. My favorite was a multi-chapter darkfic set in a dungeon featuring Spike and Angel doing lots of tasty noncon things to each other. They pretty much alternated playing the seme…equal opportunity and all…and occasionally Wesley would make an appearance and get tortured. I had a reputation for having no squicks at all, but I'm not sure it was all that deserved. The worst flames I got were for the time I wrote Angel with an addiction to Cordelia's menstrual blood, obtained straight from the source."

Sesshoumaru's patronizing disbelief morphed into revulsion. Though she was speaking English, he understood only a small portion of her monologue and was moderately grateful that most of it was incomprehensible to him; the woman had just taken a giant step backward in his estimation.

Kagome, if she even noticed his disgust, was not fazed. "So I don't read it or anything anymore. Though I'm a little tempted to come out of my forced retirement and dance around the world of _Naruto_ fanfic. Neji Hyuga and Itachi Uchiha would be perfect residents of my dungeon." She chuckled wickedly.

Rin understood even less of Kagome's fanfiction tale than her uncle did. She also knew he didn't like the conversation. A change of subject was necessary. "Do you want to stay for dinner with us?" Rin asked hopefully.

"You're welcome to stay." Kagome added. "I've got ratatouille in the oven. There's a movie with the same name coming out in a few days, and I thought Rin would appreciate it more if she knew what the title referenced."

Sesshoumaru looked into the hopeful, golden eyes and, hating to disappoint his niece, briefly considered changing his plans, but he had been looking forward to going to the dojo all day. "Not today, Rin. I'm just stopping by to drop something off for your grandfather, but I'll look in on you when I come back."

She seemed placated for the moment and asked, "Will you read to me tonight?"

"I think I may be home too late for that, but I'll come in and kiss you goodnight."

Rin smiled. "Even if I'm asleep?"

"I promise."

After he left, Rin asked, "Can I still have ice cream now?"

Kagome snorted, but rubbed the child's head affectionately. "No way, you little traitor. After dinner."

XxXxX

"Good night, young lady," Ken Taisho told Rin as she kissed his cheek.

"Good night, Grandfather," the girl replied. "Night night, Kagome."

Kagome knelt down and hugged Rin tightly. "Good night, dear one. I'll see you in the morning." She stood and wiped at teary eyes. "And remem—"

"Don't worry, Kagome," Mrs. Taisho interrupted gently. "Rin will be fine, but if there's a problem, we promise to call you." Kagome had given them her cell number at least four times that evening and was visibly anxious about Rin's first night in the mansion.

Kagome took a deep breath. "Thanks." She knew she was overreacting, that once Rin was comfortable sleeping next door, she could begin to do something with her stagnant social life, but the feeling of being left behind was unshakeable. "I'm just being silly." She watched Rin and her grandmother walk out of Mrs. Taisho's well-apportioned sitting room hand-in-hand, leaving her alone with Mr. Taisho.

He looked at her with a bored expression, slightly curled upper lip indicating annoyance, reminding her very much of Sesshoumaru's face earlier that day when she was babbling about fanfiction, right before she offended him.

"So…nice weather we've had so far this summer. With July around the corner though, I'm sure it won't last." She groaned at her lame attempt at conversation.

"Hn."

The typical male Taisho noncommittal response. "Rin seems happy here," Kagome said. "Inuyasha would be glad. Though I have to say…you really don't need to buy her any more toys. She would much rather you just play with her with the ones she already has."

Mr. Taisho narrowed his eyes at hearing the name of his younger son, and past regrets stabbed at his efforts to repress. The mini-lecture about child-rearing didn't help, though recalling his sons' childhoods, he knew she was correct. He had to admit, he was curious about this young woman standing awkwardly next to him. She possessed insight into the last years of Inuyasha's life, years that, due to his stubbornness, were lost to him and his wife. "Cribbage?" he asked.

Kagome recognized a disguised olive branch when one was offered. She had meant to spend the night working on designs, but this suddenly seemed far more important. "I'd love to."

She followed him into the neighboring library, a huge room with shelves of books lining nearly every bit of wall. They sat on a pair of leather armchairs with a round, low table between them, and Mr. Taisho took a deck of cards from the interior of the cribbage board. They silently cut to determine the first deal; it went to Kagome. She shuffled, expertly her opponent noted, and dealt six cards to each.

As they studied the hands dealt, Ken said, "You mentioned earlier that Inuyasha taught you this game. I hadn't realized he still played."

Kagome turned her gaze from her cards to her best friend's father, seated across from her. Inuyasha had spoken of his father with a mixture of sadness, hostility, and love. She knew they had a complicated relationship and wished to know more, but wouldn't pry. "Yeah. He had incredible luck at cards, didn't he? More often than not I found myself salting his crib."

Mr. Taisho laid down two cards, well aware that he was probably doing the same thing for Kagome. "Yes, he was uncommonly lucky at cards," he agreed dryly, remembering Inuyasha's trademark reaction to a good hand. "Did he still do that despicable, gloating gesture with his arm?"

"The celebratory fist pump? Yeah, every time," she laughed. She laid down two cards and waited for Mr. Taisho to cut. "He always said some of his favorite memories were playing cards with you late at night, and how you'd lose track of time and suddenly smell breakfast being prepared. He said whenever he'd smell bacon and pancakes, he'd think of sitting with you, playing cards together."

A look of incredible sadness and longing flickered on the older man's face. It was brief, but Kagome was sure she'd seen it. "Thank you, Miss Higurashi."

He cut, and Kagome turned up the Jack of Hearts. "Nobs!" she called happily, moving her peg forward one. "And it's Ms. Higurashi."

He exhaled sharply, but Kagome could tell he was fighting a smile.

The game was close, with the participants talking little beyond the counting required for the game, though they seemed perfectly relaxed with each other. In the end Ken won, but only because he had first count. "Two out of three?" Kagome challenged playfully.

Ken stared at her a moment. It was rare that anyone spoke to him in such a manner, but he didn't find her familiarity as insulting as he would have expected.

"Several years ago, my physician forced…lifestyle changes on me," he said with a slight sneer. "One of the few pleasures I have left is a single glass of red wine in the evening. Can I interest you in a Bordeaux?"

Kagome hoped her surprised smile didn't come across as over-eager. "Yes, please. And thank you."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru arrived back home exhausted, but at peace. He attended the regular practice session at the Kendo dojo and stayed through the advanced practice. Matsumoto Sensei had been extremely demanding, and now he looked forward to a shower and a good night's sleep.

He grabbed himself a bourbon and branch on the way up to his rooms, but did a double take as he passed the library. His father and Kagome were bent over a table, apparently playing cards. The woman's cheery laughter tinkled, answered by his father's deep chuckle. It was a sound he hadn't heard in years.

XxXxX

Kagome and Rose Taisho were seated together on a bench at a neighborhood park keeping watchful eyes on Rin, who had just sped off to the playground. It was Friday afternoon, and Kagome was basking in the sun, trying to control her excitement at the prospect of going out drinking and dancing with her friends later that night. Rin's first and second nights under the Taisho roof had gone smoothly, and the idea of letting out some of the stress of the past month thrilled her.

"Oh you don't know how young that darling girl makes me feel," Mrs. Taisho sighed.

"Reliving your childhood?" Kagome asked.

"Reliving my twenties, more correctly. Really belatedly living them at all. I was rather absent through most of my sons' early years," she confided. "I'm not certain how much Inuyasha told you of his youth and our family, but often it was hardly ideal."

Kagome listened patiently. Where Mr. Taisho was reticent, Mrs. Taisho seemed dying to confide in someone.

"You were close to Inuyasha, and now because of Rin, you are almost a member of the family. I don't aim to make excuses for my behavior, but I feel some explanation is necessary."

"Mrs. Taisho, you owe me nothing, but I'll gladly hear anything you wish to share."

The older woman picked apart a fraying hem of her silk shirt. "I grew up in Seattle, second generation, a somewhat coddled, very pressured musical prodigy. When I was twenty, I toured and had a series of concerts here. After a performance, I received two dozen red roses in my hotel room from a gentleman who asked in the attached note if I could possibly meet him." She paused, smiling in remembrance. "Ken Taisho was a handsome, charming, older man. It wasn't as if I had a miserable existence that I was anxious to escape. It wasn't like that at all. Simply…the romance…he swept me off my feet. We were engaged within three days and married a month later. I suddenly moved away from my family, into a strange city, abandoning everything I had known. Ken was wonderful at first, but he was incredibly driven to succeed and worked fourteen hours a day. The loneliness was nearly intolerable, but I became pregnant within the first year and had something to look toward."

"Sesshoumaru?"

Rose Taisho nodded wistfully. "He was the perfect child. Easy birth, easy baby. I don't know if I've ever been so happy. Just me and my precious infant…all loneliness gone. Inuyasha couldn't have been more different." She took a tissue from her purse. "Sesshoumaru was two when I became pregnant. He was so excited to be a big brother. Oh, Kagome, if you could have seen him then…he was simply an angel. Well, in my thirty-third week I developed high blood pressure and assorted nasty conditions and was hospitalized on strict bed rest. Toxemia they called it back then; now I believe the preferred term is pre-eclampsia. It was horrible being separated from Sesshoumaru. Ken brought him to visit every day, and I knew he tried to be brave, but my poor, little boy was scared."

She dabbed at her eyes, then noticed Kagome also was tearing up and fished another tissue from her purse. Kagome took it gratefully.

"I became very ill, and the doctors decided the baby's lungs were developed enough, so I was induced. After enduring long hours of miserable labor, I ended up with a Caesarean Section. Inuyasha was a small, sick, high-strung baby…and I loved him to pieces. He _needed_ me. He had terrible colic, crying for hours, frequently all night long. The sleepless nights put a strain on the family, and the jealousy that was completely normal for Sesshoumaru to feel was exacerbated by his own and his father's tired crankiness. Both of them are frightfully bearish when not getting enough sleep," she smiled.

Kagome smiled back. "Must be genetic. Rin's like that too."

"We adjusted and some order emerged from the chaos," she continued. "It helped a lot when Inuyasha started crying less. The light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps? And then…I don't know the reason…the rug was pulled out from under me. At the time, had I known what postpartum depression was, I would have sought out help. All I knew was I felt like a failure. I had no energy, no appetite. I couldn't care for the children. Ken still worked long hours and didn't realize the extent of the problem. When the boys were two and five, I became pregnant again and thought I would be fine. The depression disappeared, and I got my life back. The relationship between the brothers wasn't very good—Inuyasha was an extreme pest, and Sesshoumaru had no tolerance for his brother, but I began to intervene when they fought, easing some of the tension between the two and teaching them how to get along." She paused. "Then I miscarried."

Kagome put her hand on the older woman's shaking ones. "I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible."

Mrs. Taisho wiped at tears that flowed down her beautiful, disconsolate face. "Losing the baby was bad. The depression afterward was worse. I couldn't get out of bed for days on end. The boys would fight, Ken would come home furious to find things broken or the umpteenth nanny quit, and I couldn't do anything about it. The guilt was terrible, but it just made me withdraw even more. Depression, once one starts sinking, is a difficult hole to dig out of."

"That's putting it mildly," Kagome, possessing plenty of personal experience, said softly.

"After years of unhappiness, Ken thought perhaps it would be easier for me if I had fewer things to worry about. Things being the children. Inuyasha was bright, but did terribly in school—acted out, wouldn't sit still, got in fights."

"He told me about that a little," Kagome commented. "Too bad his dyslexia hadn't been caught sooner."

"Yes…so much pain would have been avoided. Well, as I said, Ken decided to lighten the load on my nerves. Inuyasha was too young, only seven, and really no one would have accepted him, so Ken instead sent Sesshoumaru to boarding school."

"That's a bit drastic, isn't it?" Kagome asked, somewhat shocked.

Rose smiled ruefully. "He thought he was doing the right thing. I knew he was mistaken, but in those years I had no self-confidence and was incapable of questioning his decisions. My husband, you see, is of the variety of men who fully support patriarchy. His word is law. Or at least was back then. Sesshoumaru, of course, didn't want to go…thought he was being punished for Inuyasha's behavior. But he was a very responsible child, and he thought if he left, I would get better."

Kagome looked stricken. "Poor little guy." Her own tears began to drip.

"I felt horribly guilty about it. He left, and I _didn't_ get better. Worse actually. I was thirty-one years old…wasted my musical talents to become a mother, a career at which I'd failed abjectly. When Inuyasha was twelve, I hit rock bottom. My husband, like I suspect many men, is very good at ignoring things that he doesn't understand, but there comes a point when denial is impossible. I finally was treated by a very patient psychologist, and after a year and a half I was myself again. Unfortunately the damage to my family was done. Sesshoumaru was excelling at a prestigious preparatory academy, and though he came home for summers and holidays, he had grown apart from us and had no intention of returning. Inuyasha was completely out of control. He was always in trouble and had absolutely no respect for anyone, which angered his father like nothing else."

"I bet," Kagome said. "The patriarchal types don't care much for back talk from the kids."

Rose shuddered. "They had epic battles. The diagnosis of Inuyasha's learning disability calmed things a bit…he stopped misbehaving for the most part and performed well in school, but by then he had no intentions of doing anything his father suggested. When he changed his major from business to political science, Ken took it as a personal insult. His marriage to your sister, despite our pleas to wait, was the last straw. Ken forbade any communication, and I believe you know the rest."

Kagome did indeed know the rest, she'd been a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on for years. "It hurt him a lot. But the worst was Mr. Taisho's heart attack. Sesshoumaru called to tell him _three days_ after it happened. And when he went to the hospital, he wasn't on the list of relatives and was refused entrance. Why?"

"My husband is a proud, stubborn man. He really believed he and Inuyasha would reunite one day, but he couldn't stand to think his estranged son would see him in his moment of weakness. Foolish, isn't it?"

Kagome thought about Inuyasha's worry and grief when his father had his heart attack. Kikyou was pregnant, and he thought his relationship with his parents would finally be fixed. Instead it worsened. "Ah…yeah."

"Now, of course, we would change almost everything of the past fifteen years, but alas…our only option is regret. And a promise to do better by Rin. To pour into her the love I should have given my sons."

Kagome blew her nose. "Inuyasha knew you loved him. He was full of regret as well."

Mrs. Taisho's sighed cathartically. "So now you know the sad story of my fractured family. I'm not trying to excuse how we treated each other; I just hope you understand a little. And perhaps understand why we tried to get guardianship of Rin. There was nothing personal against you, only a misguided desire to ameliorate the wrongs of the past. Kagome, I'm truly sorry for putting you through all that, and thank you, for giving us a chance."

Instead of answering, Kagome put her arms around the other woman, and they embraced tightly. All they have left is to forgive each other, Kagome thought sadly.

"Now I just need to focus on getting Sesshoumaru settled down," Rose said, lightening the mood. "He's got a date a tonight… lovely young woman, a financial planner, daughter of one of the women with whom I play bridge."

"I was wondering if he had a life outside his office," Kagome remarked.

"Not much of one," she said with disdain. "Hopefully that will change soon. I've been trying to get him together with Kagura for years now, but he never seems to appreciate my efforts. I wish he weren't so stubborn; they would make a lovely couple."

Kagome hadn't paid much attention to Kagura the night she had her meltdown at the restaurant—her wrath had been directed elsewhere. But she remembered Kagura was beautiful and glamorous and fit into the world the Taishos inhabited perfectly. The feeling of outsider status was quickly banished when she reminded herself that she would be out with her friends later that night.

"Shall we see if Rin is ready to go? I've got a nail appointment in half an hour." They stood. "Kagome, thank you again. You've been a good listener. I can see why Inuyasha loved you so much. I'm glad he had you."

Kagome blinked back tears. It was a wonderful thing to hear. "You're welcome."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru and his date made their way through the pressing throng. He would have preferred a place less loud and crowded, but his date wanted to go clubbing, and this was the city's newest, trendiest offering. As they approached the bar, he saw a woman wearing a short, backless black dress, showing off the graceful curve of her spine and her incredible, toned, long legs. She turned abruptly, almost dumping her drink on him.

"Shit! Sorry!" She looked up. "Damn, what a coincidence!"

Naturally it was Kagome.

_I do not own Inuyasha, nor can I claim Chanel, any Ben and Jerry's flavors, Naruto or any of its characters, Blue Velvet or its characters, nor any created by Joss Whedon. Thank you so much for reading. _


	14. A Night Out And An Unexpected Request

"Kagome, why am I not surprised to see you here?" Sesshoumaru asked with amusement, not expecting an answer.

She laughed. "Finally a night on the town. Normally I avoid these types of clubs like the clap. Packed with wanna-be hipsters, over-priced drinks, obnoxious drunk men everywhere…but the Friday night DJ here is fucking amazing, and I've been itching to get my dance on. He should be starting pretty soon."

Sesshoumaru glanced around and had to agree with Kagome's assessment of the club and its patrons. "Kagome, this is Bethany Faircloth. Beth, this is Rin's aunt, Kagome Higurashi."

They shook hands briefly. The woman next to Sesshoumaru was blonde, beautiful, and wearing a tight, red dress with a plunging neckline that emphasized her voluptuous curves; Sesshoumaru was casually attired in deep charcoal, looking his usual drop-dead sexy self. Kagome felt scrawny and dull. "So anyway," she said quickly, snapping out of self-pity mode, "I hope you like the DJ. Anthony Matthews is his name. He and Inuyasha tended bar together ages ago; they were pretty good friends. He'll be spinning at that tribute show I told you about."

"What type of music?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Ooo a fabulous variety," she enthused. "Vintage soul, funk, and R and B. Lots of Motown. Reggae and dancehall. Afrobeat and Latin. His vinyl collection is extensive. He went to Brazil last year and came back with some killer music." She smiled in an effort to not babble. "Well I should rejoin my group. I'm here with Miroku and Sango and some other friends. We've got the big corner booth by the dance floor, if you'd like to come by at some point and say Hi."

"Perhaps we will," he responded warmly, causing his date's possessive instinct to flare. She was out with Gorgeous Money and had no plans of sharing.

Kagome disappeared into the crowd, and Sesshoumaru escorted Bethany to the bar. He was dismayed when she, having consumed the majority of the bottle of wine at the restaurant, requested a Long Island Iced Tea. The last thing he wanted was a drunk on his hands. She was a daughter of friends of the family, and he asked her out in an attempt to jump start his lacking personal life and remove a certain inappropriate distraction from his mind, though by this point his attraction to the woman was rapidly waning. Dinner conversation had alternated between her sycophantic praise of him and her prying questions about his investments. She had recently received her certification in financial planning and was employed by her father's investment services firm, and Sesshoumaru, sensing that she was trolling for a new high profile client, had no interest in divulging this information.

She steered him to a small unoccupied table far from the booth Kagome mentioned, though he noticed there was a video screen nearby that was apparently a feed of the dance floor. "Your niece's aunt seems…interesting," the date said, her tone implying 'interesting' was a negative quality. "I heard from my mother that your family is letting her live on your property. That's so _generous_ of you to give her a decent place to live, though I know it's all for the poor child's sake. But aren't you worried she'll take advantage of you?"

He had no idea what she was insinuating. "Advantage how?"

"Oh you know. How does one make a living as an artist, anyway? She _is_ freeloading, isn't she?"

"I invited, and she accepted. She's doing my family a favor." Sesshoumaru didn't know if he was defending Kagome or his offer to her.

Obviously not getting any traction defaming a potential rival, she asked, "Did you hear who's getting divorced?"

Sesshoumaru sighed. Gossip disgusted him. "_No_. I typically avoid other people's private lives as a topic of conversation."

His barbed point was lost on her. "The Tylers," she said scandalously. "Sidney caught Louise in bed with the pool man." He closed his eyes, but his date was not dissuaded. "Don't you just think it's hilarious, especially with how Louise was so smug last year when my parents were briefly separated?"

His attention wandered as she prattled on about the latest rumors from the country club, frustrating him. The whole point in going out with this buxom blonde, a member of his social circle from a well-connected family, was to stop his mother's nagging about his bachelor status and keep him from thinking about Kagome, but Bethany's inane chatter grated, and he no longer even had any desire to sleep with her.

Suddenly an image of Kagome appeared on the video screen, dancing with Sango and one of her male friends. Her slow, fluid movements were graceful and sultry, hips circling in time to the pulsing base line. She dripped sensuality and eroticism, but with a raw layer of vulnerability, which only served to increase her appeal. He had already admitted to himself she was more attractive than he had originally judged, but watching her body move, he realized how tempting she truly was. Too bad it would never happen. She had made it clear to him she was uninterested in a relationship or even a sexual fling, and besides, though he no longer considered her personality quite so irritating, she was far below his social stature.

"Sesshoumaru?" Bethany prodded, reclaiming his attention.

"Yes?"

"I asked you if you thought it was a good idea that they relaxed the standards of membership at the country club. I rather liked the policy of approval by two thirds of the voting members. Now that it's only one third, I'm afraid they'll be forced to let almost anyone in."

"Bethany, I honestly have no opinion. I only have a token membership there."

"Oh," she said, deflated. She primarily knew Sesshoumaru by reputation; their mothers played bridge together. When he called and asked her to dinner, she thought a gift had been dropped in her lap. A very rich, sexy gift. She knew he wasn't big on small talk, but currently it seemed he was more captivated by the video screen near the table than by anything she had to say. She leaned forward, hoping he'd notice her substantial cleavage. "Do you want another drink? I'm almost empty."

Sesshoumaru saw that indeed her potent beverage was nearly empty and grimaced. Apparently inebriated would be joining vapid and exhibitionist on her current catalogue of attributes. "I'm fine," he replied, indicating his still more than half full Guinness.

"I'm going to use the powder room and stop by the bar. Be right back." She smiled saccharinely.

Sesshoumaru was relieved to have a respite. He saw Kagome was still dancing, the music now much more lively, but her movements were no less sexy. He kicked himself mentally, tore his eyes from the video screen, and looked out the window. On the sill was a copy of _The Missing Link_. The usual Thursday distribution had been delayed by a day due to contract disagreements and a brief workers' strike, and, having been at meetings and on the phone literally all day, he hadn't had a chance to read. A copy was waiting in his car, but he picked up the one next to him and turned to the back, unable to delay gratification.

_Dear Scarlet, I'm a twenty year-old male. When I was in high school, my girlfriend and I made a promise to each other that we would remain virgins until we got married. We graduated, very much in love (or so I thought) and went to different colleges, determined to stay faithful until we graduated and could get married. However she met someone else in her first semester and broke our pledge and our engagement. That was almost two years ago, and I've moved past her and my hurt feelings. I now have a new girlfriend. We've been going out for a little over two months, and I love her like I've loved no one else. She's beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and understanding. My girlfriend is not a virgin, but she's only had sex once before and respects my belief that True Love Waits. But when we are together, we're both finding it harder and harder to not move beyond light petting and kissing. I love her and I know she's the one I want to give my life to and my first time to, and I want to ask her to marry me. I'm getting conflicting advice though. My pastor and my family support my decision, but think we should wait to marry until after graduation. I can't stand the thought of waiting that long to make love to the woman I adore, and honestly I don't think I can handle it. My friends don't get it at all. They think we're crazy for getting frustrated for "no reason". They are really good guys, who just don't understand my beliefs, but the pressure is getting to me. I doubt I can wait two more years, but I think I'll be disappointed in myself if I give in, and that's to say nothing about my family. I'm thinking about asking her to elope. I'd like your opinion. I actually have never read your column, but my roommate is one of your fans, and he said you are the person to ask. Signed, Waiting Is Hard_

"_Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah." __ Dear Hard, Sorry to pull out_ The Princess Bride _on you, but I agonized over my response to your email for days and need a little silliness before I begin. Since you are unfamiliar with this column and in the interest of full disclosure, let me state that I suspect that we may have vastly differing thoughts about sex. You see, I don't believe Sex Outside Marriage is immoral. Nor are Sex With Someone You Don't Love, Sex With A Member Of The Same Gender, Sex With More Than One Person At The Same Time, or Sex With Someone Whose Name You Don't Know (I'm probably a tad more tolerant than the average bear, but there you have it). Sex, both the urge to procreate and the desire to give and receive pleasure, is a primal, biological need. The lust you feel for your girlfriend is normal and natural, but I am not going to attempt to talk you out of your virginity pledge; it is obviously important to you, and I would do you a disservice by not recognizing that fact. I simply don't understand them. Forgive the rather crude, automotive analogy, but you wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive first, right? They certainly are fine for horny high school students who may not be ready for the pressures and responsibility that come with intercourse, and the original pledge you took with your old girlfriend served you both well. My worry though now is that the pledge itself is becoming more important than your ability to fully enjoy life as an adult. There are no easy answers on this one; you will need to do some serious soul searching and have a long talk with your girlfriend. And by the way…shouldn't you be talking with_ _**her **__and not your pastor and family about this? What if she doesn't want to marry you? This matter would become a moot point, or at least the equation would be altered significantly. _

_As long as I'm yammering, I'll share my thoughts on virginity. I don't believe virginity is synonymous with purity or that it is a precious gift an individual gives his or her first partner. I am the same person now as I was when I was in possession of an intact hymen, and I didn't think of my first time as a gift a give to someone else, as much as an event I wanted to micromanage and make as enjoyable as possible. I suppose this is the part where I share the story of Scarlet Loses The Big V (shudder). I was seventeen, just finished junior year of high school, and my sister, who is close in age to me, had sex for the first time. We were slightly competitive, and I figured 'if she can do it…so can I', but I didn't want it to be with just anybody. I had a close guy friend at the time, also a virgin, who couldn't stand the thought of starting senior year never having had sex, so we made a pact that we would be each other's first at some point during that summer. I wasn't expecting fireworks or anything, but I'd read enough bodice-ripping paperbacks by then to know that it's supposed to only hurt briefly. Bullshit. It hurt, not necessarily like breaking an arm, but not fun. Then I bled for the entire next day and couldn't sit down comfortably. So I'm glad I hadn't set My First Time up as something that was supposed to be incredibly special…I'd have been sorely disappointed. That's not to say I would change a single thing about it! I wouldn't. My friend, though I really only liked him as a friend, was cute and nice, and we trusted and respected each other. The experience was clumsy and mildly embarrassing (who knew condoms were so complicated?!), but then, getting back to the automotive analogy, so was my first time behind the wheel of a car. It just got better, more fun, and now I am an excellent driver…if you know what I mean. But I'd like to stress that was __**my**__ experience, __**my**__ values system. Each person is unique, needing different things. It may be time, Hard, to reassess __**your**__ needs. Is your virginity pledge still as important to you as it was when you made it? If it is, you will find the inner strength to persevere. Hell, you made it this long, what's another year or two? If you determine it is no longer so important, there is nothing wrong with you, though ask and answer yourself honestly, Will I feel guilty afterward? If Yes, perhaps it's worth it to continue on the present course. And for heaven's sake don't worry about disappointing your family. It's none of their business. The issue about whether or not to have sex with your girlfriend is one between the two of you, not your friends, not your family, not an advice columnist. _

_Now to the marriage portion of my response. I feel a bit awkward bringing it up, because I've never been married; in fact my longest relationship lasted six to eight months (the exact time frame is fuzzy), with the average duration between three to four months. My fear is that perhaps just over two months is not a long enough time to know for sure that this person is whom you should be marrying. When I am in the initial stages of a relationship, I want to be with the other nonstop, to eat him and drink him and breathe him. But it changes. In the cases of Real Love, it evolves into something special, something that lasts. In most of my relationships that never happened. The honeymoon phase evolved into You're A Great Guy, But Not The One. When the feeling was mutual, we parted on good terms. On the sad, few occasions when boyfriend and I were not on the same page…tears and angst, but he/I got over it. I'm afraid that two months is just not long enough to know someone inside and out. It doesn't mean the love isn't there, but have you even had a real fight yet? I would want to know if, during an argument, my possible future spouse is open to communication or shuts down or gets mean or can't compromise. Do you know yet how she is with money? Of all the committed couples I know, they fight most frequently about money. These are important considerations, and I'm not sure you have all the information you need. All those concerns aside, I can't stress highly enough, Sex Is Not A Valid Reason To Get Married! Don't get hitched because you're horny; there is far too much on the line. Ask yourself, Is this face the last thing I want to see when I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I wake? Is this person so special that I want to grow old with her? If you can unequivocally answer Absolutely, then take your time and enjoy each other. But don't ask this woman to marry you because you want to get in between her legs. I know you have a complicated situation, and I hope I helped. The decisions to be made are important, potentially life-changing. I wish more people approached their sex lives with your seriousness. Best of luck to you!_

Sesshoumaru finished reading and thoughtfully set the newspaper down. He was thirty two; the same age his father had been when he married his mother, who had been the same age as the young man in the column. They hadn't known each other long when they wed, and he wondered if they would have stayed together had they waited. His parents were much happier now than when he was young, something for which he was grateful, but he knew about his mother's many regrets concerning her years of depression, and he suspected she, having given up a promising career, regretted getting married in the first place. He had always assumed that he would marry one day; of course that would mean he'd have to meet someone who was capable of holding his attention past a few dates. The idea of having someone and growing old with her made him realize he had never felt even remotely that close to another before, and for the first time in his life he felt that he was lacking something important.

Realizing his companion had been absent for fifteen minutes, he scanned the crowd. He had no problem picking her out, standing near a gaggle of young women, all giggling and blushing and sneaking covert glances his way. Bethany returned to the table, drink in hand.

"Sorry," she apologized, sitting heavily. "I hope you didn't get too lonely. I had to say hello to some of my old sorority sisters. I'd like to introduce you to them; they're dying to meet you." She motioned eagerly to the young women to join them, then noticed _The Missing Link_ on the table. "I guess you did get bored, if you resorted to picking up _that_ rag," she said derisively. "My mother is one of the people who tried to get that awful advice column removed last year. I can't believe they print such filth. They claim it's one of the most popular features, but _I_ certainly don't know anyone who reads it."

Until that point, Sesshoumaru hadn't made up his mind whether he was going to give Bethany another chance. After all she may have just been nervous around him at first and deserved the benefit of the doubt, but a combination of her statement and the horde of chattering women that descended upon them convinced him that the date couldn't be over soon enough and he'd be happy to never see her again.

He nodded politely as introductions were made; a few of the women he recognized from social and charitable functions or the country club, some giving condolences about his brother's death. Around the time the conversation turned to the upcoming nuptials of one of them, his eyes wandered back up to the video screen. Kagome was still dancing, this time with a blonde woman. There was a large, visibly intoxicated man apparently bothering them. He tried to pull Kagome close, but she, annoyed furrow creasing her brow, kept evading him. Finally he caught hold of her upper arm, causing her to stumble against him as he ran a hand down the curve of her hip to her shapely ass. She reacted angrily, stepping on his foot and shoving him, mouthing what Sesshoumaru recognized to be "Fuck you". The brute careened backward, letting go, but leered at the women as they spun around and walked off the dance floor, disappearing from the screen. Spitfire can take care of herself, he smirked, before being asked by one of the women what he was looking at.

XxXxX

Kagome and Kanna, scowling, rejoined their friends and flopped in chairs at the wedge-shaped table. "Drunk fuckers can sure suck the fun out of life," Kagome grumbled.

"Loser," Kanna agreed.

Sango reached out and took her friend's hand. "You okay?" she asked Kagome with concern.

Kagome gave a reassuring squeeze and picked up her beverage. "I'm fine. I needed to take a break anyway."

Kouga reached over and rubbed her shoulder. "If you want, I can beat him up for you."

"If I wanted someone beat up, I'd ask Sango," she said, belittling his machismo.

"Hey!" Sango protested. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kagome and Jak looked at each other and burst out in peals of laughter at her confusion.

"Only that you've got a bit of a temper, dear," Miroku said in an effort to silence them.

Sango huffed. "I only bite when provoked."

Kagome shrugged off Kouga's hand and peaked around him at Ayame, who appeared profoundly unhappy. "Ayayme, how's school going?"

"It's busy," the redhead answered, trying to keep the venom from her voice. She actually was starting to like Kagome and appreciated her efforts at keeping Kouga at bay, but her boyfriend's obsession with the woman was beginning to depress her. "I've got two classes this summer on top of my internship with City Park Service, but I should have my horticulture degree finished in December."

"That's fabulous," Jak purred. "Once you're done I think the back lot of the Brownstone needs a complete overhaul. We'll be your first client. Maybe something along the lines of a traditional English garden. Roses and whatnot."

"I was thinking more like Japanese simplicity," Bank countered, "with…maybe a koi pond."

Jak snorted. "Fish? You can take care of it." Jak and Bank had been running the Brownstone Inn together for three years, Jak doing the cooking, floral arranging, and light housework, and Bank taking care of the business end, on top of his estate planning practice.

"Ooo that's reminds me," Kagome said. "I want to get a group together for a picnic at the park when Sango has an Ultimate game. Is there any Saturday afternoon coming up that you two have free?"

Bank thought for a moment. "We've been booked every weekend since April, but I believe we have a random weekend free in August."

"Does that work for you, Sango? Are the games still going on that late in the summer?"

"It'll be playoffs and finals, but I'm pretty confident the team will make it at least into the semis." Sango smiled playfully at Miroku. "Then you know what."

Jak bounced in his chair. "Secrets! Tell me! Whatwhatwhat?"

Kagome threw an ice cube at him. "Sit still, you idiot," she scolded, then explained, "Baby-making time."

This was not the juicy gossip Jak was craving. "Breeders," he muttered.

"So business is good?" Kouga asked Bank. "I was wondering if the price of gas and airfare was affecting the bed and breakfast niche economy."

"Well, our clientele is relatively affluent and able to absorb some increase in prices," Bank explained. "Most of our business in the spring and summer is weddings, and I've found people's spending on that event isn't influenced much by the economy. Lately though…since that article in _The Pink Triangle_, rating us as a top gay-friendly establishment, we've had almost as many commitment ceremonies as weddings."

"Pfft," Jak scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm beginning to hate my own kind. The hetero folk who are tuned into their gaydar are perfectly willingly to accept my superiority in all matters pertaining to style. _They _appreciate me. I swear _Queer Eye for the Straight Guy_ has done more harm than good. Now every man who bats for the other team that walks through the door thinks he's qualified to pass judgment on my decorating skills. One recently, dressed in Bermudas and Crocs with _socks_ I might add, had the audacity to ask why there was so much antique furniture. The building is over one hundred years old for fucksake," he sneered. "Then he criticized the window sheers in the bridal suite! Was he expecting a leather bar? I mean, Kagome help me out, describe my taste in furnishing." He looked at her pointedly.

"Impeccable," she allowed, nodding.

"Thank you," he replied with smug satisfaction.

The Slickers' "Johnny Too Bad" played over the speakers.

"Oh Kagome this brings me back," Kouga sighed. "Do you remember when we watched that outdoor screening of _The Harder They Come_ at Reggae Fest that time? And what we did afterward?"

Kagome groaned and felt sorry for Ayame, who had to put up with his obtuse recollection. She and Kouga had dated for a few weeks years ago. He was gentle with her at a time in her life when she needed a soft touch, something for which Kagome would always be grateful, but she knew early on that he was far more into her than she was ready for and ended it quickly. She thought he was a genuinely good guy and hated to hurt him, but better that than have him really hurt after stringing him along. The date he mentioned was the tipping point; they had gotten ridiculously stoned and watched the sun come up, talking the whole night. It was then that Kagome realized she needed to break up with him. Grinning weakly, she took note of Ayame's crestfallen reaction. She finished her cocktail and stood. "I'm dry. Be right back."

She sidled up to the busy bar, waiting to get the bartender's attention. It was packed, and she had a suspicion she'd be standing there for a bit. A moment later, a tall, well-built man with long, white hair joined her. "Oh hi!" she greeted. "Having fun?"

He looked down at her with his usual unreadable expression. "Hn. You?"

"Marvelous," she gushed. "It's been ages since I've been shit-faced, and I have a halfway decent start. Gonna be hating life tomorrow though; I'm supposed to take Rin and Shippou to a matinee of _Ratatouille_," she said. "You're welcome to come along."

"Uh…I think I have work to do," he hedged.

"Oh come on!" she said, nudging him with her elbow. "You don't think two sugar-crazed kids and a hung-over aunt sound like ideal company?"

His mouth turned to an almost smile. "Not especially, no," he responded, without meaning it.

"Me neither," Kagome snickered, "but I'm committed. It'll be okay…Rin and Shippou are good kids, and I've got lots of prescription loot in the medicine cabinet. I just need to make sure I can drive." She hoped she wasn't portraying herself as a drug abuser, but her mouth wouldn't stop.

"I heard you accompanied my mother and Rin to the park this afternoon. How was it?"

Kagome reflected on the conversation she had had with Sesshoumaru's mother earlier that day. She was seized with a sudden urge to gather ten-year-old, brave little Sesshoumaru under her wing and hug him and whisper comforting reassurances. "It was fine," she answered dreamily and laid a sympathetic hand on his arm.

He saw that she was now looking at him with an expression that would under normal circumstances be directed at a puppy with a hurt paw and was confused. What in the world had they talked about?

Hey," the bartender interrupted. "That guy down there wants to buy you a drink."

Kagome looked down the length of the bar to find the dance-floor molester staring at her. "Tell him Hell No…and I'll have a Crown Royal and Diet when you get a chance."

"Perrier…and you can put both drinks on my tab," Sesshoumaru said.

"Thanks," Kagome said, "but you don't have to."

Instead of responding he asked, "Who is that man?"

"Just some ham-handed fucktard who won't leave me alone. Don't know why I always attract the drunks." She paused a moment. "Would you do me a favor? Can we act like we're together for a minute, just to get him off my tail?"

Sesshoumaru was briefly taken aback by the request, then his eyes narrowed predatorily. He put a hand to the back of her neck, fingers lightly tangling in the black, silken mass of her hair, slipping through to feel the warmth radiating from her skin. When she didn't protest, he brushed the hair from the side of her neck over her shoulder and laid his palm against the smooth, bare skin of her back. He followed the valley of her spine with feathery strokes, tracing the graceful line. The pressure of his fingers increased as he explored the firmly muscled flesh, pliant and responsive to his touch, until his hand settled into the lumbar curve of her back, resting just above the gentle swell of her beautiful backside.

Sesshoumaru looked in the mirror behind the bar. Kagome's eyes were closed, lashes dark in contrast with the faint flush on her cheeks, full lips parted slightly. He smirked, realizing he had finally discovered a way to quiet her. Shrinking the space between them, he leaned down and inhaled the scent of her perfume, a delicate blend of sandalwood and citrus that he couldn't place. "Is this what you had in mind, Kagome?" he whispered, voice laced with slow seduction.

"Hmm," she moaned indistinctly, apparently mesmerized.

He got closer, his cheek barely touching the heat of her neck and the throbbing vein underneath. She tilted her head almost imperceptibly, but he took it as permission to continue. Unable to resist, he gently nibbled the edge of her ear, taking care to avoid her piercings.

It was too much for Kagome, and she woke out of her trance. "Aahh," she trilled and turned her head quickly. Their faces were inches apart, amber eyes staring at her in amusement. "I…uuhhh…um…I think," she faltered, then gulped audibly. "I think he got the picture." She shook her head to clear it and backed away. "Thanks…for pretending. Gotta go."

Sesshoumaru straightened as he watched her scurry away, without her drink, he noted.

A tall, dark-haired man filled the void she left. "Sesshoumaru."

"Naraku."

"Who the hell is that chick? My mother told me you were going out with Bethany Faircloth tonight."

"I am out with Bethany. The woman is Kagome Higurashi."

"She's the one I was trashing and digging up dirt on?" Naraku asked, amazed. "Damn, wish I'd known. That's a tight, little box I wouldn't mind loosening up."

Sesshoumaru bit back a snarl. "Leave her alone; you have no business with her any longer."

"No problem," he said. "Sounds like you've got more than you can handle though. I'll give you the heads up, since I'm such a nice guy." He laughed at his own joke. "My sister is meeting me; should be here any minute. When she found out you were with Beth tonight, she lost it."

"Dammit," Sesshoumaru swore. His date was doing Goldschlager shots with her friends, and he had a naughty desire to pursue Kagome. The literal last development he would have wished for was an angry Kagura to make an appearance. "Thanks for the warning," he muttered. "I've wanted to leave for some time. Now I have an excuse."

XxXxX

Kagome, white as a sheet, rushed to the table and zeroed in on Sango. "Bathroom. Now." She looked at Kanna and Ayame. "You too."

Once inside the safety of the ladies' room, she sat on a chair by the sink and put her head between her knees. The other women were right behind and peered at each other with worry.

"Kagome?" Sango asked. "Is it that drunk dude? Did he bother you?"

Instead of answering she chanted, "I'm not attracted to Sesshoumaru Taisho. I'm not attracted to Sesshoumaru Taisho. I'm not attracted to Sesshoumaru Taisho."

"Interesting affirmation," Sango observed dryly. "Now spit it out. What happened?"

Kagome raised her head a little, but kept her gaze fixed on the floor. "I went to the bar…Sesshoumaru was there." She put her head back down.

"Kagome…" Sango was getting impatient.

Sitting up, she heaved a sigh. "That drunk guy was there, and I asked Sesshoumaru to pretend he was with me."

"And…" Kanna prompted.

"And…he put his hand on my back."

Sango rolled her eyes. "Is that it?"

Kagome thought about the deft fingers teasing her skin, the delicious warmth of his breath on her neck, his rich voice, his indolent mouth. She hastily kicked it all away and swore she would avoid him at all costs and act like nothing had happened when forced to be in his presence. "That's it."

"You're pathetic," Sango said. "See what happens when you take yourself out of commission for so long. You fall apart over nothing."

She stood, stared at her reflection in the mirror, and said forcefully, "I am not attracted to Sesshoumaru Taisho." Throwing her shoulders back, she marched out of the restroom, leaving her bewildered friends in her wake.

When she returned to the table, Miroku indicated a fresh drink in front of the chair she'd been occupying. "Sesshoumaru brought your drink over. He told us to tell you he would see you tomorrow and he'd check his schedule about going to the movie with the kids."

Kagome groaned as she sank down, burying her face in her forearms resting on the table. "I'm fucked."

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Nor can I claim Guinness, The Princess Bride, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Crocs, The Slickers or any of their songs, The Harder They Come, Ratatouille, Crown Royal, Diet Coke, Perrier, or Goldschlager. _


	15. Waking Kikyou and Inuyasha

"Are you sure about the food?" Rin asked as Kagome escorted her to the big house. Mrs. Taisho was holding an informal brunch for her bridge club and, eager to show off her precious granddaughter to her friends, she requested Rin's presence. The girl liked the idea of combining the words Breakfast and Lunch, but when Kagome informed her of what Anita was preparing that morning, she began to have doubts. In her world Strawberry and Peach Stuffed French Toast did not belong on a plate with Crab Cakes and Grilled Asparagus with Prosciutto.

"You'll be fine, dolly," Kagome reassured. "Just try a little bit of everything. Your grandmother won't make you eat anything you don't like."

"Will Grandfather and Uncle Sesshoumaru be there?" Rin was with her grandmother more than her other newly acquired family members, but she liked them all. She and her grandmother had tea parties together every day, and her grandfather was teaching her to play Crazy Eights and Go Fish. Her uncle had been busy with work as he usually was, but he came by when he could to ask how she was doing, and the attention pleased her enormously.

"Doubt it. I think your grandfather is golfing, and knowing your uncle he is probably working. Though I hope he hasn't left yet; I have a favor to ask."

It had been three weeks since the night at the club. The first week Kagome avoided Sesshoumaru as much as possible and didn't even trust herself to look at him when he stopped in to check on Rin, afraid of her reaction to his presence after her near implosion at the bar. But she needn't have worried. He was at the office more than ever, and when he came to say hello to Rin, he seemed perfectly at ease, leaving Kagome to conclude that the seductive hand at her back and mouth at her neck meant nothing to him, and they quickly got back into their previous rhythm with each other, the beginning of a cooperative, cautious friendship between two very different people.

They entered the smaller, less formal of the Taisho's two dining rooms to find Sesshoumaru saying goodbye to his mother.

Rin ran and hugged him around the leg, smiling up sweetly. "See what Kagome did to my hair?" Kagome had dressed Rin in a pretty flowered sundress and attempted to put the child's unruly hair into an updo.

"Lovely," Sesshoumaru commented, "you look like a princess."

"Looks like she's ready for the prom," Kagome snorted, adjusting a hair pin. "I'm glad I caught you. You're still going to the benefit concert tonight, right?"

"Need a ride?" he asked dryly.

Kagome grinned wide. "Either you're very perceptive or I'm very predictable. Pick me up at eight?"

He looked at her and sighed wearily. For several days after they had seen each other at the club, Kagome acted even more flustered than usual around him, something from which he took a perverse enjoyment, but continuing the flirtation was beneath him. She was an attractive woman who lived on his family's property, nothing more. He interpreted the fact that she had gone back to thinking of him as her personal chauffer as another sign that things between them had returned to normal.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm so happy you're here!" came a saccharine, overly enthusiastic voice behind them.

They turned to see a group of a dozen or so women enter, Kagura and her mother among them. Mrs. Taisho introduced them to Kagome, who in turn greeted the well-dressed, primarily older women politely.

Kagura all but ignored everyone except Sesshoumaru. "You owe me a dinner, and I will not let you escape before we set up a date," she said, slinking up to his side and glaring at Kagome.

Sesshoumaru resisted the rude urge to tell her No and decided to just get the dread event over and placate the irritating woman. "Next Friday?"

"Perfect!" Kagura squealed. "And I'll accept nothing but the most expensive place in town."

"Like a gas station?" Rin chimed in, remembering Kagome's rant the day before when filling up her gas tank. All the adults laughed and quipped about the innocent wisdom of children, though Kagura's was feigned, and she forced back a sneer at having Sesshoumaru's attention stolen by the cherubic interloper.

"Kagura," Kagome began thoughtfully, "You knew Inuyasha right? Tonight at the Offramp there's a benefit concert, kind of a celebration of his and Kikyou's lives; you should try to come. It'll be really fun…all the hipsters will be there. I'm even dragging Mr. Workaholic here out. And I'll be on stage, most likely making a complete fool of myself…don't see that all the time."

"I was under the impression it was a daily occurrence," Sesshoumaru observed.

Kagome burst into delighted laughter. "There it is again! Your sense of humor!" She stood on tiptoe next to him and whispered loudly into his ear, "Hang in there little guy! Help is on the way!"

"See, you're proving my point," he smiled softly at her antics, staring into Kagome's merry brown eyes.

All the other women in the room gaped at the friendly, teasing tone Kagome took with Sesshoumaru, but were utterly shocked when he responded with amusement instead of the expected hostility. The ladies who played bridge thought of their hostess' son as the ultimate catch for one of their daughters, but always regarded him as reserved, if not unapproachable. Mrs. Taisho was also surprised at her son's reaction, but was pleased that Rin seemed to be having a positive effect on him as well as her husband.

Kagura seethed in jealousy; this woman was clearly her rival, and she would like nothing better than to witness Sesshoumaru as Kagome acted an idiot in public. "Wouldn't miss it for the world," she said silkily, clutching his arm like she was marking territory.

"I wanna go!" Rin pouted, pulling out The Look and hoping it would work on her aunt this time.

"Honey, we've been through this twice." She knelt in front of her niece and looked into the childish, female version of the gold eyes that were just on hers. "It's an adult thing. Not gonna happen," she said. Kagome leaned forward, smooched Rin's cheek, and stood. "I'm going to run with the dog before it gets any hotter, then hopefully work for a few hours before I start getting ready for tonight. Nice to meet all of you!"

Sesshoumaru extricated himself from Kagura's vise-like grip. "And I need to leave for work."

Kagura watched the object of her desire follow the Other Woman out of the room. The wheels of her mind were already spinning with plans of capturing Sesshoumaru once and for all, starting with the defamation of the aunt.

XxXxX

At a few minutes before eight, Sesshoumaru walked toward the guest house, and as he approached, the shrill sound of an upset Rin assaulted his hearing. Kagome opened the door after he knocked, then Rin dove at him and attached herself to his leg.

"Sorry, I'm not quite ready," she apologized with exasperation. "Rin doesn't want to stay behind." She petted the dark, little head and met Sesshoumaru's gaze, whispering, "It's her bedtime; she's overtired."

"I wanna go too." Rin sniffed. "It's not fair. They're _my_ Mommy and Daddy."

Kagome looked stricken. "Honey, I'm sorry. It's just not a place for kids."

Sesshoumaru reached and picked Rin up, holding her so their eyes were level. "Rin, your aunt is right. Highly inappropriate for children." Her hopeful expression fell, and the disappointment that replaced it ate at him. "I'll make it up to you," he said. "I know I've been working a lot. We'll do something together soon."

She perked up a little. "Will you go to the park and listen to the hungry dance music with me and Kagome?"

Kagome giggled at the girl's confusion. "Hungarian, honey. The Orchestra is performing all twenty one of Brahms' Hungarian Dances at an outdoor concert at Pioneer Park next Saturday evening," she explained to Sesshoumaru. "We'd love your company."

"_Please_."

The puppy dog eyes and pouting rosebud mouth would have proved impossible to resist, but he was already inclined to accept the invitation. "That sounds wonderful." Rin wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, screeching with joy.

"Let the man breath, kitten. I'll be ready soon."

Rin showed her uncle a picture book until Kagome called, "Come here a second! I need shoe help!" Sesshoumaru followed Rin into Kagome's room, floor almost completely covered with clothes. "I'm not normally a slob like this…just had a hard time deciding what to wear. Which shoes?" She had on one high wedge heel and one sporty slip-on. "The Skechers, right? Cute and comfortable over sexy and painful. I thought so too."

Sesshoumaru and Rin merely looked at each other; neither had expressed an opinion.

"Do these jeans make me look fat?" she asked, turning in front of a floor mirror, critically examining her ass.

Rin, familiar with her aunt's ritual of multitudinous clothing changes followed by the inevitable query 'do I look fat?' or 'does this make my butt look big?' simply rolled her eyes.

"Fat?" Sesshoumaru scoffed with disbelief, trying not to think about how incredibly sexy she was. Kagome was dressed in a skimpy teal halter and dark denim, which accentuated her long legs, slender waist, and curvy hips. "You cannot look fat if you're not."

Kagome's expression was one of patronizing pity. "The ridiculous absurdity of that statement proves how little you really know," she said, shaking her head. "Okay Rin Rin, time to brush teeth. Be right back."

They exited, leaving Sesshoumaru alone in Kagome's messy room. He noticed several bookcases lining the wall opposite her bed and stepped over the piles of discarded clothing and shoes to peruse the titles. Kagome had a large collection of classic literature, contemporary novels, feminist anthologies, mythology, art history, and fine art books. Then he saw she had an entire bookcase housing volumes of erotica and several sex manuals, with a whole shelf devoted to more versions of the illustrated Kama Sutra than he could have believed existed.

"I see you found my porn," Kagome whispered wickedly.

He was startled by her sudden reappearance at his side.

"I suppose I should do something about this soon. Rin won't _not _notice it for too much longer. It's not like I'm ashamed or anything…sex is normal and natural, even in its deviant, less vanilla forms, but…I've got some seriously intense bondage stuff that I inherited from Kikyou and Inuyasha, and it can even make _my_ head spin. I certainly don't want a little kid getting her hands on it. I've already had to hide my copy of the _Pop-Up Kama Sutra_, since that's what I figured she would gravitate toward first." Kagome wished, in vain, to shut up. "And there's the _Ken and Barbie Kama Sutra_. And the _Strap-On Kama Sutra_…and I have one that's wooden artist manikins posed in the sexual positions. And one that's all amputees. And…" She faltered, seeing his shock at her collection and run-away mouth. "Rin's just getting her stuffed animal friend. We can go now." Blushing furiously, she zipped away before he could respond.

They walked Rin to the big house and deposited her into the loving arms of her grandparents, then made their way to the garage, Sesshoumaru preoccupied with an unsettled feeling that he couldn't put his finger on. After he steadfastly refused her repeated pleas to drive, they went through the quiet neighborhood streets, warm wind blowing in through open windows. Kagome was quiet, but fidgety. She peered in the mirror at her hair, applied lipstick twice, peeked into the glovebox, chewed loudly on Altoids, and drummed her nails against the car door.

Sesshoumaru, though grateful she had turned off her motor-mouth babbling, found her behavior annoying. When she took out her lipstick again, he asked point blank, "What in Hades is wrong with you?"

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly. "I'm just so fucking nervous. I haven't been onstage in years."

"You realize, your fussing is only winding you tighter."

"I know. But…there's gonna be a shitload of people there, and I really don't want to mess up."

He searched for a change of subject. "You mentioned this was a benefit concert. Which charity is the recipient?"

She smiled her thanks, recognizing his efforts to put her mind elsewhere. "Court Appointed Special Advocates. They're volunteers who go to court on behalf of abused and neglected children. It was Kikyou's true calling in life…helping kids. She had a master's degree in social work and volunteered a lot for CASA and women's shelters. This is on top of touring and recording and taking care of Rin. I wish you had gotten to know her; she was such an amazing, giving person. That's another thing I'm worried about…this show is really a party to remember them. We wanted to avoid all the angst of the funeral, but I'm afraid I'll lose it when people start telling stories."

Sensing she was tensing up again, he endeavored to keep her talking and at ease. "Your sister's band…what type of music?"

"Arrow is kind of hard to pin down. They fit under the amorphous umbrella of indie rock, or alternate rock if you prefer, but had a unique sound, mostly because the two creative forces, Drew and Kikyou, were so damn different. Drew, I think I mentioned, is a total metal head. Kikyou was a crunchy granola type and listened to the singer-songwriter genre…that alt folk, Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris ethos. But Drew and Kikyou worked wonderfully together…he kept her from getting too hippy trippy, and she made sure he didn't push the band into heavy metal self-parody territory. They were occasionally likened to Evanescence or Flyleaf because of the female singer and driving guitar, but Drew did a lot of singing too, and really they didn't have the post-Grunge thing going on that much, and Arrow was way less produced and theatrical. Imagine if Joni Mitchell and Ozzy Osbourne had a love child—something like that. I think you'll be impressed." She thought a moment and groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "Except that it will be me instead of Kikyou up there. Oh god…I'm making myself crazy. Say something to distract me."

"You have a rather substantial collection of erotica," he commented, hoping he wouldn't regret the new direction of the conversation.

"Yeah, what can I say…I'm an unrepentant, hedonistic pervert," she laughed.

They stopped at a red light, and he looked at her, brow quirked rakishly. "A celibate hedonist? Interesting concept."

"It's not like I've forsworn _all_ orgasms, just the ones that involve other people." She realized with mortification that she was talking about masturbation in front of Sesshoumaru, and his taunting eyes made her squirm. "Sorry. I'm used to being pretty open with my friends about all matters sexual. Sango's more reserved, but Miroku and Jak are as debauched as I am. Almost. And of course Kikyou and Inuyasha and I lived together…not any secrets in our house. You probably didn't know that your brother and my sister were really into bondage and dominance and submission play."

His tolerant amusement disappeared. "Actually that is information I would have been content _never_ knowing."

"Oh god, don't be such a prude," Kagome chided. "Their sexuality was part of who they were, and there's nothing wrong with the fact that your brother liked to be tied up and spanked. I used to wonder if it had anything to do with his childhood, but I don't think he was a true submissive. They weren't into humiliation and had a very equalitarian relationship outside the bedroom. I think he just really liked rough, kinky sex and being controlled by his wife. Especially if it involved dressing him up in crotchless leather pants."

Sesshoumaru adjusted the rearview mirror and fiddled with the volume, trying to pretend he hadn't heard this in an effort to keep it from sticking in his mind, but the damage was done. "Thank you, Kagome," he said, voice drenched with sarcasm. "I really needed that visual."

"Aw. And here I left the eyebleach at home," she needled. "Now that I think about it though, I'm not sure it works on mental images."

Sesshoumaru decided he preferred her awkward and embarrassed to brazen and impertinent, and he considered pulling over, throwing her in the backseat, and silencing her with the method that had proved so effective at the bar a few weeks earlier. That or locking her in the trunk. It was a decision he didn't need to make; they had arrived at their destination.

The Offramp was a large music venue in a seedy part of the city, and it was currently swarming with people. They walked in through a side door, avoiding the long line at the front, but once inside, Kagome froze.

"Oh fuck. What am I doing? I can't do this." Panic started edging her voice.

Sesshoumaru took her arm and guided her through the crowd. The place was already packed, but he saw her friends standing close to the stage and steered Kagome, pale and numb, toward them.

Sango noted with alarm the deer-in-the-headlights expression on Kagome's face and reached for her hand. "How are you?" she asked, squeezing gently.

"Shitting bricks," Kagome moaned. "I've got no right to be here. What was I thinking? I don't have Kikyou's talent! I'm going to totally screw up."

Sango, knowing when best to take the direct approach, slapped her lightly on the cheek. "Get a grip on yourself. You'll do fine if you don't let your nervousness psych yourself out."

Kagome stared at her. "You fucking hit me."

"Not hard, big baby." Sango frowned. "Now relax. You are here to have fun and remember Kikyou and Inuyasha."

"Yeah, Kagome," Jak said naughtily. "It's not always about _you_."

Kagome looked hurt. "Why is everybody picking on me?" she demanded.

Bank leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'll be nice, sweetie. You look really cute tonight."

"For a girl," Jak said under his breath.

Kagome kissed Bank back. "My hero," she gushed, batting her eyelashes. "Now someone buy me a shot. I need liquid courage."

Kouga eagerly scrambled over. "I'll go to the bar. What do you want? Jagermeister?"

"Do I look like a goddam frat boy?" she asked, horrified. "Get me a tequila shot…not the cheap stuff. And a beer. Simpatico."

XxXxX

The night went on, and Sesshoumaru noticed Kagome became more relaxed as she danced and talked with her friends. She was obviously at ease in her world, and he appreciated her attempts to include him in the conversation and introduce him to her numerous acquaintances. He found Miroku and Sango as pleasant company as he had at Kagome's dinner party and enjoyed conversing with Bank and Kouga about the arena and local sports, as well as making small talk with Jak, who was primarily more interested in dancing with the women. Often members of his social circle were preoccupied with impressing him in furtherance their own business and personal interests, leading him to avoid their company in general. It was refreshing to talk with people who didn't want something from him and weren't concerned with his family's money.

There were several acts performing that night, and in between each set various members of the local rock scene told narratives and anecdotes about Kikyou and Inuyasha and their support and encouragement. Sesshoumaru knew Inuyasha had started a business doing concert promotion and had brought some exciting acts into town, but he had no idea his brother was so instrumental in the nurturing of the area's music and had so many friends. As the alcohol consumption increased, the stories became more humorous and ribald, and Sesshoumaru began to feel the first pangs regret over not getting to know Inuyasha better as an adult.

"Well everyone knows that I had the biggest crush on Inuyasha," Jak said. "But it's probably a good thing he wasn't gay, as much as I hate to admit it. I think he would have tired me out."

Bank snorted. "Too bad…I would have shared you and everything."

"I mean he was just so like a puppy. Cute and funny and fun, but high maintenance. Great to look at and, in Inuyasha's case, lust over, though ultimately you are glad he belongs to someone else."

"He did have a super-human energy level at times," Miroku reminisced, "but when he was serious, one couldn't ask for a better friend. To Inuyasha!" he toasted.

"I need a drink!" Kagome announced as she walked toward where the men were standing, looking sweaty and flushed from dancing. "Who haven't I mooched from yet?"

"I suppose it's my turn," Sesshoumaru volunteered and walked with her to the bar.

"I should probably stick with beer…Blue Moon," she said to the bartender. "I really appreciate the ride and everything. Are you having an okay time?" she asked Sesshoumaru.

"Tolerable," he answered, though the tone of his voice suggested that was an understatement. "Your friends are good company."

"Yeah. Aren't they great? It's good to be out with them, and I'm beginning to get used to not having Yasha around. A little." She smiled at him with an honesty he rarely saw in other people. "I'm glad you came."

"So am I. Inuyasha was lucky to have you in his life."

Kagome instantly teared up. "That's the kindest thing anyone's ever said to me." She laid her hand on his arm. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru. For everything."

"You're welcome, Kagome." He looked down at her pretty, heart-shaped face was seized by an inexplicable desire to kiss her sad, brown eyes, making him wonder if he was still capable of thinking of her as just the girl next door.

They were joined by a large, long-haired, heavily tattooed man. "Hey, babe. How you doing? We're up next."

Kagome hugged him tightly. "I feel like puking. Drew, this is Sesshoumaru Taisho, Inuyasha's brother. Sesshoumaru, this is Drew Nash, Kikyou's bandmate."

The two men shook hands.

"Wow, good to meet you, man. Glad you could come. Your brother was a close friend, and we all really miss him." He looked at Kagome. "Don't be nervous. You sounded great in practice. It'll be just like the old days. Except now we have roadies to do set up and soundchecks."

Kagome didn't look any more reassured. "Yeah, but in the old days I wasn't performing in my sister's shadow."

"Jesus, Kagome! Give yourself some credit. I wouldn't have suggested this if I didn't think you could handle it." He patted her head. "Now chill out and get backstage."

Kagome looked like she had been handed a death sentence. "Uuggghh. Here goes nothing. Do me a favor, okay?"

"What is it?" he asked with curiousity.

"If I suck, will you go pull a fire alarm? Or something similar that would clear the building?" She was dead serious.

He handed her the beer, turned her around, and gave her a gentle push. "You'll be okay, Kagome," he said with a calm he didn't feel; her nervousness had worn off on him.

A moment later an arm wrapped around his possessively. "There you are," Kagura's voice purred in his ear. "Now you have someone to enjoy the show with."

XxXxX

The noise level and electric tension in the building increased when the start of the main act became imminent. A gloating Kagura and an unhappy Sesshoumaru joined Kagome's friends as the lights dimmed.

"Kagome seemed scared shitless, Sango," Jak said loudly. "I've known her for more than three years and I've never seen her like that. I mean I know she can sing the hell out of a show tune, but…will she be okay?"

Kagura heard Jak's question and could barely contain her giddiness at her competition for Sesshoumaru's attention taken out of the running without her having to lift a finger.

Sango was apprehensive. Years before she had seen Kagome at her lowest low, and though this was nothing compared to that, she hadn't seen Kagome so close to falling apart in ages. "I know what you mean." Sango shook her head, unwilling to consider the fallout if the worst happened. "Kagome is a good guitar player and a great singer. If she can get ahold of herself, she'll—"

Her voice was drowned out by the cheering crowd as Arrow took the stage, anticipation buzzing. The opening chords of the first song reverberated, and overhead stage lights flashed on, illuminating Kagome wearing a look of confidence and excitement.

Sango heaved a sigh of relief. "Girl's got her game face on. She'll be fine!"

Though the type of music was nothing that he would normally choose to listen to, Sesshoumaru had to admit he was impressed. The band worked perfectly together, and he couldn't believe Kagome had only been practicing with them for less than two months. But he was most taken by her singing. Her guitar playing was skillfull; her voice, strong and passionate, amazed him. The first song blended seamlessly into the second, and Drew took over as lead singer, with Kagome weaving mesmerizing vocal harmonies, adding depth and a complex feminine warmth to Drew's masculine voice and the heavy, pulsing guitar. The first two songs finished to enthusiastic chants from the crowd.

Kagome picked up her beer. "Everybody having fun?" The response was deafening. "I want to thank Anthony and Hidey Hole and Slither and Ten Yard Line for opening up for us. And thank you, everyone here, for showing up to celebrate Kikyou and Inuyasha, taken way before they…we were ready. My sister would be completely embarrassed by this, but we need to drink to them both. To Kikyou and Inuyasha!" She drank deeply, then paused, steadying. "A lot of people have asked about Rin. I want to tell you all she is doing remarkably well under the circumstances, and a huge reason is because of Inuyasha's family. They've been wonderful and generous, and I'm beyond grateful." She zeroed in on Sesshoumaru and winked. She strummed a few chords and stopped. "For those you who don't know, my name is Kagome."

The crowd roared, hearing the familiar riffs of the next song. Sango leaned over and shouted an explanation at Sesshoumaru. "This was Arrow's biggest hit from their first album." Kagura fumed at seeing Kagome's obvious competence, if not excellence, and Sesshoumaru's recognition and appreciation of her talent, feeling like she'd been the victim of a bait and switch scam. The band played nonstop for two hours, Sango occasionally providing commentary for Sesshoumaru about which album a particular song was on and other trivia.

Arrow finished a set, and Drew said, "Didn't you co-write that one, Kagome?"

"Yeah, one of our early, fumbling attempts." Kagome laughed remembering. "We did okay back then."

"Only our oldest fans know that this entirely too fucking modest chick was one of the founding members," Dave, the bass player, said. The audience cheered its approval.

"You only brought me on board 'cause you thought I was hot," Kagome countered dismissively.

"And do you remember what you told me? When I tried to get you in bed?"

Kagome expression of innocence was incongruous with her response. "What? That I only fuck drummers?"

Drew howled with the crowd's uproarious laughter. "Yeah, but goddam if you didn't set us straight. You were a bossy little shit back then. You'll be happy to know that Kikyou kept alive the tradition of the Higurashi-Centered Universe."

"That's my girl! Gotta love her!"

"And I did," Drew said, more seriously, setting down his drink. "I know everyone has been sharing stories of Kikyou and Inuyasha tonight. Those two were the most grounded, loving couple I've ever met. I could go on and on about Kikyou, but I won't 'cause I don't want to cry like a girl. Kikyou and I were night and day, but we balanced each other musically and I don't think I'll write songs like I did when we collaborated ever again."

They bantered a while longer, sharing stories, then played several more songs. When they finished Kagome switched guitars, picking up an amplified acoustic.

"Thanks everyone again for coming tonight." She waited for the noise level to go down. "I wanna close the show with a cover, but first I'll tell the story of when Inuyasha and Kikyou met." She met Sango's gaze and gave her melancholy grin. "It was first semester of freshman year. I don't know if it's still like this, but back then if you had to add or drop a class past the fourth week of school, they made you go down to the Bursar's Office and fill out some form…kind of inflicting a little extra punishment on the clueless dumbasses who couldn't make up their minds in a timely fashion. So anyway…I needed to do an add/drop and I was in line next to this really cute guy with long light hair and the most amazing eyes I'd ever seen. We got to talking and found out we were both in the same boat, so we poured through the list of classes together and I convinced him to take Folklore 101 with me."

Drew erupted into derisive laughter. "Folklore?"

"Hey, shut up," Kagome retorted. "It was a good class. So Inuyasha and I started studying at the Union and going to parties, and after a couple weeks, he asked me out. I was a philosophy major at the time…at the height of my Goth phase and he was just not angsty enough for me. 'But,' I told him, 'I've got an identical twin sister.' And he was all 'Yeah right, twin sister.' Well…Angelo's Pizza Place had an open mike night every Thursday called Sing For Your Supper, where if you sang a song or two, you'd get half off an entree. Being musically inclined, perpetually broke college kids, Kikyou and I were there like clockwork. I told Inuyasha to come, and he walked in right as Kikyou started. I watched as their eyes met across the room and something sparked between them. Not sure if there's such a thing as love at first sight, but they really connected." Kagome sniffed and wiped tears that dripped down her cheeks. "So I'd like to finish with the song Kikyou performed that night…kind of my love letter to them. It's called _The Ocean_ and it's by singer songwriter Dar Williams." She started playing, then halted and breathed deeply. "And I'll apologize in advance if I have a breakdown before I finish."

_When I went to your town on the wide open shore,_

_Oh I must confess, I was drawn, I was drawn to the ocean,_

_I thought it spoke to me, it said, "Look at us,_

_We're not churches, not schools, not skating ponds, swimming pools,_

_And we have lost people, haven't we though?"_

_Oh, that's what the ocean can know of a body,_

_And that's when I came back to town, this town is a song about you._

_You don't know who lucky you are, you don't know who much I adore you,_

_You are the welcoming back from the ocean._

_I went back to the ocean today,_

_With my books and my papers I went to the rocks by the ocean,_

_But the weather changed quickly, oh the ocean said,_

"_What are you trying to find, I don't care, I'm not kind,_

_I've bludgeoned your sailors, I've spat out their keepsakes,_

_Oh it's ashes to ashes, but always the ocean,"_

_But the ocean can't come to this town, this town is a song about you._

_You don't know how lucky you are, you don't know how much I adore you,_

_You are the welcoming back from the ocean._

_And the ones that can know you so well are the ones that can swallow you whole._

_I have a good and I have an evil, I thought the ocean, the ocean thought nothing,_

_You are the welcoming back from the ocean._

_I didn't go back today,_

_I wanted to show you that I was more land than water,_

_I went to pick flowers. I brought them to you,_

_Look at me, look at them, with their salt up the stem,_

_But you frowned when I smiled and I tried to arrange them,_

_You said, "Let me tell you the song of this town,"_

_You said, "Everything closes at five. After that, well, you just got the bars,_

_You don't know how precious you are, walking around with your little shoes dangling,_

_I am the one who lives with the ocean,_

_It's where we came from, you know, and sometimes I just want to go back._

_After a day, we drink 'til we're drowning, walk to the ocean, wade in with our workboots,_

_Wade in our workboots, try to finish the job._

_You don't know how precious you are, I am the one who lives with the ocean._

_You don't know how I am the one. You don't know how I am the one."_

At the end of the song, her face threatened to break, but Kagome managed to keep herself under control. She rejoined her friends, feeling somewhat hollowed out, but greatly relieved.

"Hey! How'd I do?" She took the handkerchief that Sango had ready for her and blew her nose. "I didn't fuck up the lyrics at least."

Jak grabbed her into a crushing hug. "Girlfriend! You rocked. I think you should join Arrow permanently."

"Thanks, but no," Kagome declared with finality. "I've already done the rock star thing. Okay maybe we were more like starving musicians back then, but it's just not my lifestyle anymore. And I've got Rin to think about."

"Aw, come on," Jak protested. "Kikyou did both."

"Yeah, but I'm not Kikyou," she replied, looking at Sango in silent communication.

Sango put her arm around Kagome's shoulders. "Come on. I'll buy you a beer."

They slowly made their way to the bar, progress interrupted by well-wishers offering compliments and congratulations. As they waited to get the bartender's attention, Sango said, "I'm proud of you. When you took the stage you seemed completely relaxed. What happened?"

Kagome blinked back the tears that hovered. "Dave saw how scared I was and reminded me of a _Strange Brew_ reference Inuyasha liked to pull out. 'Brakes are out. No point in steering now.' And Drew said, 'Take off! You steer this thing!' And somehow, magically, all my panic disappeared."

Sango laughed. "Oh the random wisdom of Inuyasha! Still profound, beyond the grave." They got their drinks and made their way back to the group, dragging feet and enjoying a semi-private moment. "Well you sounded great…better than ever. Now that you've crossed this hurdle, maybe you are ready to start dating. Sesshoumaru couldn't keep his eyes off you," Sango hinted without a trace of subtlety.

Kagome glared at her. "What. Ever. He is obviously with Kagura. She was draped all over him."

Sango recalled Sesshoumaru's expression of distaste at the fawning woman who had been hanging on him. "I think it was fairly one-sided. I _think_ he would have preferred _you_ adorning his arm."

"Pfft. If and when I start dating again I'll chose someone who's NOT emotionally constipated. Besides…I bug the piss out of him. I'm certain he's completely uninterested in me that way."

Sango was unconvinced; her husband's behavior made her an expert on the lusty, lascivious gaze, and she knew it when she saw it. Plotting silently, she saw Sesshoumaru approach them and felt an irresistible urge to play match-maker. "I'll see you in a minute…need to use the bathroom."

Kagome rolled her eyes; Sango's convenient departure was not lost on her. "Hi!" she greeted when Sesshoumaru intercepted her. "So…what did you think of Arrow?"

He observed her with a new fascination. "Impressive. Kagome, your singing voice is exceptionally beautiful."

She was a tad stunned by his statement and more than a little disconcerted by the heat in his eyes as they traveled over her body. She felt her face grow red, pondering Sango's observations and quickly kicking them away. "Thanks! Your good opinion means a lot to me."

He raised a hand and brushed a clinging lock of hair from her forehead. "I meant what I said. You are lovely."

Kagome swallowed an Eeep! banishing the seductive gesture. He was resisting her efforts to keep the mood light and nonsensual. "I…ahh…I thought I saw Kagura with you. Is she still here?"

"No. She was developing a headache, and I walked her to her car."

"That was nice of you…though I guess it's typical boyfriend behavior. I need to…um…go see how Sango is doing. Let me know whenever you are ready to leave," she said awkwardly, trying to stay as nonchalant as possible.

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome walk away, the boyfriend comment mildly upsetting him. With her long legs and slim curves and trusting face she had ceased to be a mere distraction; he wanted her. But the foremost question now was—should he deny himself or actively pursue her?

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Also lay no claim to Brahms, Skechers, The Pop-Up Kama Sutra, any Mattel toys, Altoids, CASA, Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris, Evanescence, Flyleaf, Joni Mitchell, Ozzy Osbourne, Jagermeister, Simpatico, Blue Moon, Dar Williams or any of her songs, or Strange Brew. Thank you for reading! _


	16. Brahms, Three Words, and Friendship

_A/N Just need to paraphrase the disclaimer at the beginning of the first chapter—this fic has mature themes and is intended for adults. Thanks._

_&&&_

_Dear Scarlet, Two weeks ago my boyfriend and I started having sex. The intercourse is great, and I give him head, but he refuses to do the same for me. He says he thinks it's sick and can't understand why anyone would want his face down there. Lesbians give him the creeps more than child molesters. My first boyfriend went down on me and seemed to like it. I feel like I'm being unreasonable in expecting this, but it was sooo nice. What should I do? Signed, Missing Tongue On My Snatch_

_Dear Snatch, Break up with him. Now_. NEXT

_Dear Scarlet, My boyfriend masturbates to a lot of adult sites on the web and has recently been fixated on ass-then-mouth pornography. There is one particular video where the guy fucks the girl in her ass, and then he takes her thong, shoves it up her butt, fucks her some more, then takes the thong out and gags her with it. My boyfriend thinks it's really sexy and has been pressuring me to recreate this or at least suck him after anal. I don't think this is sexy at all, in fact I think it's really, REALLY gross. Can you please tell me something about germs or whatever, so I have an excuse for when I tell him no? Signed, I Have My Limits_

Kagome closed her eyes and tried to find her happy place. Why are people so clueless and spineless, she wondered. Rin, humming to herself and playing on the living room floor with DUPLO bricks, was the picture of childish sweetness. The combination of that scene and the words on her laptop screen made her eyes burn and her head scream.

_Dear Limits, I will in no way issue a blanket condemnation of porn; it has its place in a free society, and I don't condone censorship in any way. But your boyfriend has become a victim of Too Much Of A Good Thing. Just as a diet of nothing but sweet stuff leads to poor health and dental problems, a steady diet of porn leads to unrealistic expectations—both in how real people look and how real people behave. The smut industry is a competitive one, and like other media, it needs to constantly up the ante in order to stay relevant and meet the demands of an increasingly desensitized audience. Once upon a time plain old anal was hard core…then it became double penetration, then triple, then triple double and somewhere along the line that was not titillating enough and ATM was cutting edge. Now it's fairly commonplace, though I must admit the addition of the thong is a clever twist. Your boyfriend is obviously very turned on by the taboo kinkiness and has developed a fantasy centered around the idea; for some the dirtier the act, the more aroused they become. _

_Now on to the question portion of your email. We all know what that hole is for, and there will of course be some risk of _e. coli _bacteria and intestinal parasites, however any blood-born viruses, such as hepatitis A, that you may already have—you can't reinfect yourself. And likewise if you don't have it, this act won't spontaneously create it. I've discussed the safety of rimming in previous columns (perhaps you could refer to the online archives of this column), though that is slightly different because one person's mouth is on __**another**__ person's ass. Honestly, anal-then-vaginal sex is more risky for you from a health standpoint. I'd like to ask you though, Limits, what is wrong with simply telling your boyfriend that you don't find this sexy and are completely uninterested? You shouldn't need an "excuse". Tell him No Means No, or if you prefer, No Means Hell No, Now Quit Fucking Asking Me. If he respects you as a person and a partner, that __**should**__ be enough. I feel there is room for compromise here however. He can fuck your ass using a condom, then remove it and you can blow him. If he is unable to tweak his filth fantasy to accommodate your ick factor, you may want to reevaluate his attitude of objectification toward women in general and you specifically, especially considering the Gag Me With A Thong aspect of his favored wank material. There are of course people who get off on humiliation in a dom/sub context—when done with safety precautions ATM could be an interesting, enjoyable option in their bag of tricks, but in the real world, I suspect there are few gay men and fewer women willing to perform this particular act with the abandon of a porn star; I know of none. Perhaps, Limits, all your boyfriend needs is a reminder that the porn actresses he watches are getting paid to do what they do; that may deflate his kinky, forbidden bubble._

_I realize that there some rabble-rousing readers out there who are contemplating a double standard in the advice in this week's column. Why, they will ask, should the first letter writer break up with her boyfriend for his unwillingness and the boyfriend of the second letter writer just have to deal with her unwillingness? Well…don't go there. I always encourage my readers to open themselves up to their partners' kinks and fantasies, and I also stress that respect in a relationship is paramount. I feel I've not violated these tenets in my advice. I would not want a partner who is obsessed with the idea of me eating my own shit (even if microscopic), and I would be equally uninterested in a partner who has an obvious loathing of my sexual organs_. NEXT

_Dear Scarlet, I have boyfriend problems. I'm a twenty-four year-old woman dating a successful, gorgeous man, who is unfortunately completely hung up on his ex. They didn't go out for that long, and it was years ago, but it is obvious that he still loves her. They maintained their friendship, and when we are out together, we see this woman a lot. To her credit, she doesn't do anything to encourage him and always seems uncomfortable when he touches her or talks about when they dated, but he just doesn't get it. I hate this. I don't want to have his past relationship hanging over us. He treats me well and I love him, but I just can't stand the thought that he would drop me in a second to get back together with her. My mother and sisters think I'm insane for thinking about breaking up with him, that I might not ever find anyone as good as he is, and that if I stick with him, someday he'll recognize my faithfulness and love me even more for it. I am totally confused. Should I end it, or just be happy with what I can get? Signed, Tired Of Being In The Shadow_

Kagome sighed sadly. Dear Ayame, she composed in her head.

"My Uncle's here," Rin announced with calm certainty. A moment later there was a knock at the door, and Kagome shut her laptop lid, happy with the start she'd gotten on her column. She watched with a grin as Oberon and Rin competed for Sesshoumaru's attention, Rin well-aware that the dog outweighed her by over one hundred pounds and his wagging tail, though wielded unconsciously, was a deadly weapon. "See the new clothes Kagome made me," she said, twirling in circles. She was wearing a colorful, tiered skirt, ivory peasant blouse, and lacy black shawl.

Kagome stood and stretched. "Rin and I were listening to the music we're going to hear tonight, and I was telling her about the Romantic Period and the interest in national folk songs, and she decided she needed a wardrobe addition. Fortunately I had all kinds of clothes left over from my Stevie Nicks phase and just scavenged the fabric. She looks like she's going to a Rainbow Gathering," Kagome conceded, "but I tried my best."

Rin stopped spinning and careened dizzily, giggling like a drunk. Sesshoumaru caught her before she fell into the dog. "You remind me of your father. When we were children he loved to spin around until he fell down." Sesshoumaru didn't add that he sometimes joined his brother and the two would lie together on the lawn as the world tilted and lurched, slowly returning to normal.

"Ah, the beginning of his life-long love of thrill rides. You may not know this, but the reason Inuyasha and Kikyou honeymooned in Japan was so he could ride the Steel Dragon 2000 when it opened. At the time it was the world's tallest roller coaster." Kagome handed Sesshoumaru a basket and picked up a folded quilt.

"An amusement park? Not very romantic." They bid the dog goodbye and left the guesthouse, Rin clutching Sesshoumaru's free hand.

"Maybe not, but the Sakakibara Onsen he took her to afterward more than made up for it," Kagome snorted.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, thinking that apparently his brother was capable of redeeming himself; the Sakakibara Onsen was one of the best in Japan.

"What's in the basket?" Rin asked casually, hoping the answer was some sort of dessert.

Kagome knew exactly what she was fishing for. "A bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of sparkling grape juice, three unbreakable wine glasses, and a corkscrew." She saw the annoyance on Rin's face and decided to let the girl off the hook. "_And_ some chocolate-covered strawberries."

"Yay!" she sang, skipping ahead of them.

Sesshoumaru watched her go and laughed softly. "Has a sweet tooth, does she?"

"Yeah, most kids do." She slyly took in his appearance as they followed Rin to the garage. His tailored tan pants emphasized his strong, male leanness and the crisp white shirt made his long hair take on a silvery sheen. Kagome mentally took a fast, cold shower. "Sooo…you had a date with Kagura last night. Did you get lucky," she asked with a suggestive note to her voice, elbowing him playfully.

He looked down at her with distaste. "None of your business, Kagome." His dinner with Kagura had been most unpleasant. At the beginning of the evening he had actually considered sleeping with her, this despite the fact that she would take it as a sign she should start picking out the bridal stationery. He wanted to rid his mind of Kagome, attributing his growing attraction to her to his months' long lack of a sex partner, but Kagura's petty meanness, sense of entitlement, and non-existent sense of humor only made him realize whose company he would rather be in. It disturbed him to know that his attraction apparently went beyond the physical, though it bothered him even more that Kagome thought he and Kagura were lovers.

She slowed and laid a hand on his arm. "Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry. I promise I will do everything in my power to avoid teasing you, asking inappropriate questions, sticking my foot in my mouth, and acting like an idiot tonight. But I'll ask for your forgiveness in advance…it's inevitable that I revert to default mode at some point."

"Don't worry, Kagome," he said. "I wouldn't dream of putting your true personality on a leash."

"Hurry UP!" Rin yelled, impatiently waiting by the car.

"Ooo can I drive? Pleaseletmedrive! Pleeeeease! Just say yes, you know want to," she pleaded, eyes wide and sparkling.

"No." There was a trace of amusement in the stern reply; Kagome's wink told him she noticed it too.

XxXxX

The trio made their way with the other concert-goers to the vast expanse of lawn in front of the amphitheater of Volunteer Park. It was an old park with tall oaks, situated on a high elevation, sporting a breathtaking view of the city's downtown, skyline backlit by the lazy setting sun. It was a common romantic destination for first dates and anniversaries. A couple walking next to them commented on Rin's cuteness and mentioned that she was a perfect combination of her parents. Rin briefly looked confused, then danced in front of her aunt and uncle, excited about the prospect of being out with her two most favorite people. As they scouted a spot to lay the blanket, a boy with red hair barreled into Rin, knocking her to the ground.

"Shippou!" she squealed. "You're here too?" The two children rolled around giggling.

"Hey, Jason!" Kagome greeted, as Shippou's dad rushed up. "I wasn't expecting to see you here!"

Jason, relieved his enthusiastic son would do no lasting harm, said, "Kagome, Sesshoumaru, good to see you. My sister plays second violin in the orchestra. Shippou needs to go directly to the playground and burn off some steam if I'm going to last through the entire performance. Can Rin come with us? I'll make sure she's back before too long."

"Oh she'd love it!" Kagome exclaimed. "We'll be around here somewhere."

Rin scampered off with her friend and his father, and Kagome spread the blanket out on the lush grass. "Shippou's other dad, Alec, is a pilot and is out of town a lot. It's kinda this running joke I have with Jason that his other half doesn't exist, because I've never met him. Rin says he's really funny…always has candy in his pocket."

Sesshoumaru examined the large quilt as Kagome straightened it. A riot of warm oranges and reds, the scene looked like an impressionist painting of a forest in autumn, but on closer inspection, he realized it was made up of hundreds and hundreds of small squares and wondered how many hours went into its creation. "This is lovely. Did you make it?" he asked as they sat.

"Thanks, yeah. I made it in high school…my first watercolor quilt, and it took me close to a year. Usually a person's first attempt is smaller and simpler, but I went a little overboard. Kinda famous for biting off more than I can chew," she confessed. "It just about killed me in college."

"What did you get your degree in?" he asked, wanting to know more about her.

Kagome laughed self-consciously. "After sampling about ten different majors, I ended up with a BFA and a minor in English."

"Why not music? You obviously have talent."

She blushed lightly at the compliment. "Music…music for me has just always been around. In our house it was part of the fabric of daily life," she explained. "It would have been like majoring in eating or breathing." She took out the wine bottle and corkscrew. "I gravitated toward the arts, but also wanted something more academic. When I started I was focused on photography, but second semester freshman year I took a textile class and was hooked. I'm a very tactile person by nature…I like to touch things. I had done a lot of sewing in high school and loved making clothes, so when I started weaving I knew fiber art was my true calling." She poured a glass of white wine and offered it to Sesshoumaru. He took it, and his silence encouraged her to continue. "I'm really lucky to be able to make a living off my passion. In the beginning I did a lot of art fairs, which paid the bills and got me exposure. I started making custom wedding dresses to supplement my income and occasionally taught classes, but now I'm fortunate to be able to do only commission and gallery work."

She finished her soliloquy and looked at him. He regarded her with interest, and she became cognizant of the situation—the two of them, stretched out, lounging on the quilt-covered ground, sharing a bottle of wine—and got the feeling, long-dormant, that she was out on a date and anxiously hoped Rin would get back soon and diffuse the intimacy. He was undeniably attractive, but she was still firmly in No Dating Mode and was unprepared to venture beyond. Not to mention, she reminded herself harshly, he would never like you that way. They quieted, watching the sun as it lowered further, and the Orchestra started, the opening strains of Brahms first Hungarian Dance floating through the summer evening warmth to settle on them languidly.

"Tell me more about these custom wedding gowns," he said after a few minutes. "You mentioned them before, but in a decidedly negative tone."

"Yeah, totally negative. Lucrative financially…not worth the headache and wanting to kill people." His curious expression demanded an elaboration. "I was at an art fair and the Goth chick-jewelry artist in the booth next to me was recently engaged," Kagome explained. She liked my work, and we got to talking, and I told her I would make her dream wedding dress—black tulle with velvet underbust corset and fishnet sleeves. I thought it would be fun, but it turned out that she was the first in a long line of Bridezillas."

"Bridezilla?" He'd never heard the term before, but could reasonably extrapolate the meaning based on the two root words.

"In a nutshell, when a perfectly normal, or even a creative, black-wearing, left-leaning non-conformist, woman goes completely apeshit in the planning of her wedding. She obsesses about every detail, micromanaging to the point that everyone around her thinks she has become a monster, ready to demolish Tokyo, or whatever doomed city, in order to make _her_ _day_ perfect. Custom wedding dresses pay big money because Bridezillas have no concept of frugality or rationality, but seriously…I wanted to fucking pull my hair out when I dealt with them…and their surrogates, Bridesmaidzillas."

Sesshoumaru laughed. "I can see why you aren't eager to pursue that line of work again."

Kagome soaked up the sound; though fleeting, it was deep and steady, and she instantly recognized it in his father's chuckle, reveling in his superior Cribbage hand, and Inuyasha's unguarded, honest glee. She had no idea laughter was genetic.

They continued to listen in comfortable silence, Kagome content in their slowly progressing friendship and Sesshoumaru contemplating the consequences of acting on his impulse to seduce her.

"Ahh memories," Kagome sighed as the fifth Hungarian Dance began. "Kikyou and I played this for four hands junior year of high school…took first place in the state music competition. I don't know if it was a twin thing or what, but we played better together than we did solo."

"Which part did you play?"

"Primo. I suck at pedalling, so Kikyou was Secondo." She paused, sipping wine. "What about you? You said you kept up with lessons…were you any good?" she asked, a peevish smile on her unguarded face.

"I was accepted into The Juilliard School," he answered simply.

She whistled. "Juilliard? Damn…they only accept the best of the _best_." Clearing impressed, her glance strayed down to his large, well-shaped hands, and she remembered being overcome by an urge to touch. Then she remembered something else. Eyes narrowing in confusion she said, "Wait a minute…I thought you said you went to Harvard."

"I did. My father disapproved of music as a career and insisted I study business."

Kagome was taken aback. "That's…not very supportive," she faltered. "Shit! Juilliard is the most selective, prestigious conservatory in the country."

"He was only thinking of my future. And he was correct, of course. I had a responsibility to make the most of my opportunities and not waste all the investment in my education." He recalled the crushing weight of not wanting to disappoint his father. "Inuyasha was teetering on the edge of expulsion, and my family didn't need any more strife."

Kagome studied him, somewhat incredulous at his story and dysfunctional family. "Always the dutiful son," she commented dryly. "What did your mother think? I mean, your father's disapproval of Juilliard must have stung, especially considering her marriage to him is what cut her own musical career short."

Sesshoumaru was thoughtful for a moment. He remembered how proud she was when he told her he'd been admitted to Juilliard and wondered if she had ever secretly wished he had defied his father. "I never asked her."

"So…this explains a lot." Kagome nodded sagely, as though she'd just had a revelation. "The reason you and Inuyasha couldn't stand each other. He stood up to your father and followed his own path. You're resentful that he did what he wanted and you did what you were told."

He looked at her coldly. "Don't be ridiculous. I wasn't resentful of my brother. He was an ungrateful, irresponsible miscreant, and—"

"I think, on some deep, unknown level," she interrupted, laying a hand on his arm, "you're a little jealous that he lived his life the way _he_ chose. You know, when Inuyasha recognized that he was jealous of you, for being such a perfect son when he was such a fuck-up, he let go of a lot of old hostilities and started to respect you…even like you, despite your differences. Perhaps if you understand your past resentments, you'll end up being impressed with _him_."

Sesshoumaru wished that murder was socially acceptable. He didn't know if he found her words or her patient, understanding attitude more irritating. "Thank you for your dime-store psychoanalysis, Doctor Kagome," he sneered. His scornful sarcasm made her flinch and she removed her hand.

"I'm not trying to make fun or anything," she defended herself, feeling guilt that she had scratched a wound that may not be ready to be exposed. "I'm merely stating that if you open up to your past regrets, you may—"

"I have no regrets," he said forcefully. "I graduated summa cum laude from Harvard and got an MBA from MIT Sloan. I took over my father's corporation and expanded it, transforming this city into an unparalleled success story; I'm at the height of my career."

She was unfazed. "Yeah, and what do you have besides money and a corner office to show for it?" she asked softly.

"If you are trying to imply that I'm unhappy, Kagome, _don't_."

"Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry." She shook her head, hating the direction their conversation had taken. "I meant no offense. Can we go back to gently picking on each other?"

He appreciated her conciliatory overture and placed her hand back on his arm. "You're a more exasperating pestilence than even my brother."

"Sooo Mr. Smarty-Pants…Juilliard, Harvard, _and_ MIT. You're like some kind of pathological overachiever or something," she taunted. The strain had dissipated, to the relief of both of them, but it evaporated completely when Rin, flushed from playing, bounded back into their midst.

"I'm thirsty," she announced, flopping down in between the two adults. "May I please have something to drink?"

Kagome sat up and smiled at the courteous manners. "I see your grandmother has been a good influence on you." She took out the sparkling grape juice from the cooler inside the basket and poured Rin a glass. Rin's eyes grew wide and happy when she noticed it was a grown-up wine glass just like the ones her uncle and aunt had.

"I was told you spent the afternoon with your grandparents," Sesshoumaru said. "What did you do together?"

"Me and grandfather played cards. He's teaching me some Japanese words too."

"Really?" Kagome asked, lying back down. "I wanna hear!"

"Namae wa Rin desu. Watashi wa go-sai desu."

"Cuuute!" Kagome squeaked. "What's it mean?"

"My name is Rin. I am five years old. I can count to ten too…except I keep getting stuck on nine."

"Well," Kagome prompted, "lay it on me." She decided not to remind Rin that she was still only four.

She took a deep breath and concentrated. "Ichi, ni, san, yon, go, roku, nana, hachi…I can't remember," she scowled.

"Kyuu," Sesshoumaru helped.

Rin grinned. "Kyuu!" she sang. "Then juu. That's ten."

"I wanna learn Japanese!" Kagome laughed, grabbing Rin and tickling her. "You are so cute it slays me. What else did you do at the big house?"

Rin giggled and squirmed to escape from Kagome's hands, seeking refuge in her uncle's arms. "Grandmother told me a story about my Daddy. How he got his name." Both Kagome and Sesshoumaru were interested; neither had heard this before. "Before Daddy was born Grandmother was sick and in the hospital. She was afraid she was gonna die and something bad would happen to her baby. She dreamed that there was a big dark forest and she was lost in it and she heard a baby crying and a little boy's voice calling 'Mama'. Then a demon that looked like a big white dog came and even though he was kinda scary, she knew she should trust him and followed him and he showed her the way out. So when Daddy was born and the doctor asked what his name would be, Grandmother said 'Inuyasha'. Grandfather thought it was a dumb name, but he was just happy that Grandmother was okay so he said the name was Inuyasha too. She said it means dog spirit."

"Awww…that's so sweet," Kagome sniffed, barely able to suppress her tears. "I don't think Inuyasha ever knew that."

"Kagome," Rin scolded, irritation apparent, "no crying!" The girl turned to her uncle, who had a much better handle on his emotions. "What does your name mean?"

Sesshoumaru regarded the petite girl, again surprised at the trust and affection on her pretty little face and the warmth it made him feel. "Sesshoumaru is an old Taisho family name; the exact meaning has been a matter of contentious discussion, but all the translations have rather destructive, violent connotations."

"What? Like…I Eat Kittens or something?" Kagome teased, obviously recovered from her attack of sentimentality.

Kagome wore a friendly expression similar to Rin's, though with none of the child's innocence, and he felt contentment in their company. "Something like that."

"Can we have those strawberries now?" Rin yawned.

As darkness descended, shadows lengthened and enveloped them, and the lively music continued to dance around the park. "I think someone might fall asleep in the car on the way home," Kagome whispered.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru carried Rin, limp like a ragdoll, into the bathroom while Kagome let the dog out and fed him. He woke and assisted the zombie-like girl in brushing her teeth, then guided her into a nightgown and tucked her into bed.

"Rub my back," she demanded sleepily, rolling over onto her front. He complied, feeling the tininess of his niece, her vulnerability, her potential. Soon her breathing was deep and slow, and he stood. The shifting bed woke her enough to mumble, "I love you, Uncle Sesshoumaru."

He tried to think of the last time anyone had said those three words to him and failed. And the last time he had been the speaker was equally gone and forgotten. "I love you too, Rin." He turned and saw Kagome hurry out of the doorway. He found her in the kitchen wiping at her eyes.

"I'm reminded of some Decemberists lyrics," she said, taking some limes out of the refrigerator. "'Some had crawled their way into your heart, to rend your ventricles apart.' She did that to me the moment she was born—marked her ownership of my heart and soul. I've never been the same since. I get the impression it just happened to you." Their eyes locked. "Thank you," Kagome said seriously, "for loving her back. She needs it."

So do I, he admitted to himself. "She's hard not to love," he replied neutrally.

"I was just about to make myself a gin and tonic; can I interest you in one?"

Sesshoumaru was much more a whiskey drinker, but gin did sound refreshing on the warm evening. "Yes, thank you."

"Goody!" she exclaimed. "Now I have an excuse to pull out the top shelf booze." She took a bottle of Bombay Sapphire from the freezer. While she mixed drinks they chatted about the laudatory reviews of Arrow's last performance, the popularity of bootlegged videos of it on You Tube, and the fledgling internet campaign to recruit Kagome to join Arrow. "I'm hoping it will just die a quiet death," Kagome declared as they walked outside to sit on the patio, dog plodding behind. "The other night was a ball, but it's just not what I want to do."

"Why did you quit originally?" he asked. "You mentioned you'd tell me one day."

Fear and doubt briefly clouded her face, but she attempted a smile. "I guess if we are going to be spending time together, I should tell you." She took a deep breath and shakily let it go. "My friends and I refer to it as The Incident, but a more accurate label would be My Lost Year…it's kinda more than one specific thing. It's a long, not very pretty story; are you sure you're that interested?"

"I have all night, but you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," he answered, recognizing her apprehension and trying to set her at ease.

More relaxed, Kagome still nervously played with a coaster. "Let me start at the beginning. The year 2000 was a really good year for me. Kikyou and I had gotten a bunch of college credits in high school, had packed schedules, and took summer classes, so we were able to graduate that spring, after only three years, saving us an assload of money. Arrow had formed that March, and we started getting a lot of gigs, garnering a devoted local fan base, and began work on a demo. Most important, I landed a contract with a fabric and fiber wholesaler, which was huge. They make you jump through all sorts of hoops to prove you are a legitimate business, but it meant that I could get materials at cost and do art as an occupation, actually making money, instead of having to pay retail prices, limiting me to being a small-scale hobbyist." She sighed wistfully, remembering. "Kikyou and Inuyasha got married that summer. And I _finally_ got Sango and Miroku together…not that either of them made it easy. I was happy; my closest friends were happy. I felt like I was leading a charmed, perfect life." She leaned back and looked up into the inky night sky, lit by the glowing moon. "Late that year I started seeing some guy at shows. He was clean-cut and preppy-looking…not my type, and I didn't really notice him too much until he started turning up at the sandwich shop I worked at. He asked me to go to a New Year's Eve party with him, and I wasn't doing anything so I decided 'what the hell'." She finished her drink.

"There's gin and tonic water in the bar behind us," Sesshoumaru offered, so she wouldn't have to walk back to the guest house.

"Thanks." Kagome quickly made herself another beverage, careful not to make it too strong. Her history and copious amounts of alcohol were never a smart combination. "So I ended up back at this guy's place. Now, I'm into getting tied up as much as the next girl, or at least I used to be. I was never as into it as my sister and Inuyasha, but I'm pretty sexually adventurous and open-minded so when he started to get rough and pulled out a blindfold, my alarm bells stayed silent and I thought 'so this Ken Doll is a kinkster—who knew?' and just played along. Until he brought me into his bedroom and I peeked through the blindfold. I kid you not, he had hand cuffs pre-attached to his bed posts, a spanking horse, and a St. Andrew's Cross. Basically it was Kikyou and Inuyasha's ideal playground, but I've never been that submissive in bed and totally got the creeps. When he started calling me a bad girl in need of punishment for taking off the blindfold, my alarm bells suddenly were enough to deafen me, so I said 'fuck this shit', grabbed my shirt, and couldn't get out of there fast enough."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed with concern. "That sounds frightening."

"Oh it gets better," she said ruefully. "So I thought that it was done, but this guy…his name is Mason…totally ruined that name for me, turned into a full-blown stalker. He was everywhere. For two weeks I saw him at work, in the neighborhood, at bars. I called the cops, but they couldn't do anything because it's not against the law to be in a public place. He wasn't calling me or harassing me; he was just _there_. I started getting crazy-paranoid, afraid to leave my apartment, afraid to go to sleep. Kikyou and Inuyasha were really worried, and one day when Inuyasha was checking up on me at work, he saw Mason and threatened him. The cops were called—isn't that lovely? This guy was making my life a living hell, and Yasha was the one almost arrested. Anyway, he disappeared for a week, and I thought the nightmare was over." She picked up a beverage napkin and began shredding it. "Then one night, late January, I had to close, and my co-worker who was supposed to walk me home, got sick half-way through her shift. I didn't want to be a burden and thought I'd be fine, so I just went home." She was silent a moment. "Mason followed me into my apartment and beat the living shit out of me. I don't remember very much. Kikyou was overcome by a feeling that something was wrong, so she called Inuyasha and asked him to check on me. He tended bar a few blocks from where I lived. He found me and called EMS. I was unconscious, bloody and bruised, with a concussion, two broken ribs, and a ruptured spleen."

Her face was an unreadable mask, the first time Sesshoumaru had seen her anything other than transparent.

"I almost died."

Sesshoumaru took the destroyed cocktail napkin from her hands and gave her a new one, gaining an appreciative half-smile.

"I was in the hospital and rehabilitative therapy for a month. The trial came quickly, end of April. I, of course, had to testify. It was awful," she shuddered. "Like going through it all over again. The defense tried to bring in my sexual history, an attempt to portray us as lovers who were into violent sex, and it just happened to get out of hand. Thank every fucking god above and below, the judge didn't allow it. Mason Harrison was convicted of Second Degree Assault and sentenced to five to ten."

The ripping of the napkin increased. "Somehow I doubt this is the end of the story," Sesshoumaru observed gently.

Kagome shook her head. "Everyone told me that testifying would give me closure…that it would be cathartic and empowering. Really…it was terrifying, having to face him. When it was all over, I felt no closure, no sense that some chapter had closed and life could go on. I just felt scared and alone. The year before, the world was at my feet—I was confident and happy and ready for anything. At the end of the trial, I didn't even recognize myself. I was…immobilized. Petrified. I knew my assailant was behind bars, but I still saw him everywhere. I was too afraid to sleep. Had no appetite. I couldn't even do art. Everyone I knew had their normal lives; Kikyou was a raging success in the band, and she and Inuyasha were talking about having a baby…I was adrift with no purpose, no reason to breathe air. My close friends knew something was wrong, but I had no words to express how I felt or the help I needed. _Now_ I know I was kicking Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with a vengeance, but then…all I knew was nothing."

Sesshoumaru handed her a stack of napkins and waited patiently for her to continue.

"In September, after months of not working, not existing, I couldn't take it anymore." She heaved a sigh. "Kikyou had the sensation again that something was bad with me and after repeated phone calls unanswered, she called Inuyasha at work. He barged into my apartment and wrestled the knife away from me before I could hurt myself, but he got cut in the process. The next-door neighbors heard the Jerry Springer-style screaming and called the cops. I don't know how Inuyasha lied to make them think it was a simple domestic disagreement or misunderstanding to keep them from hauling me off to the psych ward, but he managed. He and Kikyou packed up all my stuff and moved me into the top floor of their apartment and for days wouldn't leave me alone. But eventually they had to go back to work. Inuyasha, knowing my soft spot for animals, found an Irish Wolfhound on a rescue website and adopted him and gave him to me, saying the dog needed me and now I had something to live for. He was so damn smart," she laughed lightly, reaching down and petting Oberon. "That poor dog, sorely neglected and dying for attention…for the first two weeks we just laid on the couch together, needing each other. He kept me from even thinking about suicide again, and I got over the hump. So Inuyasha saved my life twice…three times." She brushed all the napkin debris into a neat, large pile. "And slowly I achieved normal again…aided by fabulously supportive friends and several hundred hours on my therapist's couch."

"Kagome," he began, unsure of how to respond, "I'm sorry such a thing happened to you. I had no idea you had such a traumatic event in your past."

"I'm better now. I can't say I don't wish it never happened, but it's part of who I am, and I treat each day as a gift and try my best to live life exuberantly, without doubt, without shame. It's made me a stronger person. I tend not to take shit from anybody, and I never let my emotions stay bottled up."

"I noticed," Sesshoumaru said, voice absent sarcasm.

She rose and tossed the visible evidence of her anxiety into the trash can. The scraping of a chair was heard, and she felt Sesshoumaru's presence behind her. Turning, she searched his face, praying not to find disapproval or worse, pity. As usual his expression was serious and calm, and she had no idea what he was thinking. "I'm sorry to lay all this on—"

"Kagome," he interrupted, "thank you for confiding. I hope you know you can trust me."

She nodded gratefully, biting her lip to avoid being overcome by emotions and quickly wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. She felt him hesitate only a moment, then strong arms encircled her, and she felt protected. "It's nice to have people to trust. Thank you, Sesshoumaru, for listening. I can tell you'll be a close friend."

The woman he held, body slender and soft, radiated an enigmatic combination of strength and vulnerability, joy and sadness. Her curves and tightly toned muscles were committed to memory, as were the scent of her perfume, now faint, and the satin luster of her hair, glossy in the moonlight. Reluctantly he let her go when she pulled away.

"I suppose we should go bed now." With horror she became aware of her vague wording. "I…I uhh mean," she stammered, "separately. Go to bed _separately_. Of course…'cause you don't want to…uhh…_sleep_ with me." She tittered self-consciously, blushing bright red. "I mean…have you ever heard anything so absurd?" His amused, lascivious gaze indicated many things other than absurdity. "Okay then," she said, grabbing the two empty glasses, "I'mgoingtobed. My bed. Alone." She spun and almost tripped over the dog at her feet. "Goodnight!" she called over her shoulder.

She disappeared inside the guest house. This is apparently no longer a circumstance of mere seduction, he thought, realizing that she would not simply fall into his bed. But in truth he, wanting only to hold her again, was the one who had been captivated.

&&&

_First, many thanks to ladybattousai for help with the Japanese words and phrases in this chapter; your assistance was greatly appreciated. _

_I do not own Inuyasha. Also have nothing to do with DUPLO, Stevie Nicks, Rainbow Gathering, Steel Dragon 2000, Sakakibara Onsen, Brahms or any of his Hungarian Dances, The Juilliard School, Harvard, MIT Sloane, The Decemberists or any of their songs, Bombay Sapphire Gin, You Tube, Ken, or Jerry Springer. Thank you for reading—as always I am truly grateful for all comments._


	17. Beauty Parlor, Kouga, and Halloween

Sesshoumaru strode into the drawing room to pour himself a Scotch on the rocks. After a busy, stress-filled day at work, a long commute due to construction and traffic, and the blistering heat of August finally bearing down after a relatively mild summer, his goal was to unwind and cool off with a stiff drink before grabbing a bite and answering email. He tossed a few ice cubes into a lowball glass, the satisfying melody holding the promise of a brief respite from the petty machinations of city council politics, when he heard a shy, hesitant voice behind him.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru, will you play with me?"

He turned to see Rin standing in the door of the drawing room, shuffling her feet and carrying a purple hatbox.

Rin tried to capture the perfect combination of loneliness and hope to be convincing, not wanting to pull out The Look if it was unnecessary. She had used it one time too many on Kagome recently and was told about something called Acquired Immunity. "Kagome is busy making dinner, and Grandmother is leaving for a meeting, and Grandfather is on the phone."

Though not exactly how he had anticipated spending the next half an hour, Rin's presence would certainly be an effective means of escape from the demands of the office. "I'm not busy right now," he said patiently. "What is the game, and what should I do?"

A happy, wide grin split the child's face. "You just have to sit on the floor," she said, taking his hand and pulling him to the leather chaise longue, all shyness gone. Once he was safely in place with her kneeling above and behind him, she told him the title, "It's called Beauty Parlor."

Sesshoumaru spun around. "Beauty Parlor?" he asked apprehensively, noticing the hatbox, lid now off, contained a colorful assortment of hair clips and ribbons, a brush, and cosmetics.

Rin took his head in her small hands and gently, but firmly, turned him to face front once more. "Me and Daddy played all the time. He said it was his favorite game," she reassured, taking the brush and immediately getting to work on her uncle's silvery white hair. She was glad she was beginning to be able to think of her father without feeling too much sadness. "Except after this one time, he would only play when Mommy and Kagome were gonna be gone for more than an hour."

"Oh?" Sesshoumaru asked, resigned to his fate. "And why is that?"

"He let me put a whole bunch of make-up on him, but then Mommy and Kagome came home faster than he thought they would. They said he was super cute and laughed really hard. Mommy even started rolling on the floor, and Kagome started to cry…but that's no biggie…she cries all the time," Rin said dismissively. "Daddy acted mad, even though he really wasn't _that_ mad, 'cause they were being too silly, so Mommy held him down while Kagome got her camera and took some pictures. Then Daddy and Mommy started kissing, and he picked her up like a fireman does and carried her into their room. Daddy said something about it being Mommy's turn. I asked Kagome 'turn for what?' She said it was grown-up stuff and took me out for ice cream."

Sesshoumaru smiled softly, picturing the intimate scene she described, thoughtful that his brother had enjoyed a loving home in later life.

Rin put the brush down and said, "Now I'm gonna shampoo you. First the water." She made the swooshing sounds one would expect emanating from a spray hose and lightly raked her fingers downward through his hair. "Next is the shampoo." Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and sighed. The brushing felt good; the girl's deft hands massaging his scalp, rubbing in circles and spirals was heavenly.

Rin took note of the calm that he exuded as his accumulated tension eased and was pleased; he reacted just as her father had. After several minutes, her fingers started getting tired. "Now rinse." Again she made water spraying sounds and ran her palms steadily along his head. "And now time for the styling."

Sesshoumaru had no idea what she was doing and how it made him look, but the gentle pulling and combing was bliss. He was at her mercy, helpless against the tiny fingers and the much needed relaxation they brought. He was somewhat disappointed when she announced, "Done!" Rin got down and stood in front of him, inspecting her grooming. She added a monarch butterfly barrette and, smiling, gave him a mirror.

Sesshoumaru looked first in the mirror, then at the girl, who was anxious for his good opinion. He had at least a dozen bright saffron-colored hair bands, bows, and clips haphazardously adorning his hair, sticking out at all angles and defying known laws of physics. "Interesting," was his cautious response.

It satisfied Rin. "Orangey-gold is my favorite color," she grinned. "It's the color of me and you and Daddy's and Grandfather's eyes."

Sesshoumaru had to admit, the hair accessories brought out the layered amber hues perfectly. He realized the incongruous inanity of his reaction and inwardly kicked himself for letting the child get away with murder, resisting the urge to reach up and start yanking the offending objects from his person before he could fully contemplate the degree of ridiculousness she had achieved.

Rin knew he didn't like it, but shrewdly recognized his weakness to her charms. "Can I put some make-up on you now?" she asked in her most innocent voice.

"No." His answer was unequivocal, but she remained undeterred.

"Pleeeeease," she entreated, summoning The Look.

The combination of the plaintive longing in her voice and the puppy dog eyes and pouting mouth killed his resolve to deny her. "Just a little." He really was not pleased with the situation.

Rin reached into the box and grabbed a soft pencil in her second favorite color. She used to call it purpley-red, but liked Kagome's names for it—magenta, fuchsia—better. She sat in her uncle's lap, giddy that he was still playing along with her. "Close your eyes," she sang. She started by covering each of his lids, careful to fill in all the gaps completely. "Open!" He complied, and she was pleased with the effect of the two colors when combined. Once finished with his eyes, she moved to the side of his face, drawing a tapering line along his cheekbone. She sat back a little and tilted her head, narrowing her eyes, much like she had seen her aunt do while deliberating details of her art work. The line, she decided, was nice, and instead of smudging it to blend, she traced a second, right underneath the first. Now the real challenge—to recreate the dual stripes on the other side.

Sesshoumaru watched indulgently as his niece wrinkled her nose in concentration, doing god-knows-what to his face. He was aware that she was manipulating him with her childish sweetness and he was allowing himself to be played, but it didn't matter. There were very few people in whom he placed his trust; that the tiny girl in his arms now shared such closeness made him realize how much his life had changed.

Though the symmetry was not perfect, Rin was reasonably satisfied. She knew better than to ask about lipstick, but determined her masterpiece was not finished. She recalled an Indian fairy tale her teacher at Montessori school had read and was inspired; it was a story about a boy who was born with a moon-marked forehead. She chose a deep blue eye pencil with a fine point and, after a teasing rebuke of his Crabby Face, tentatively drew a large crescent on his brow.

"Rin Rin, dinner in ten min—" Kagome appeared in the doorway and froze, mouth gaping in disbelief. Sesshoumaru could do nothing but watch, mortified, as her expression turned from incredulity to amused horror. A wicked snort escaped before she slapped her hand over her mouth and quickly turned, almost falling in her haste to flee from the scene.

Sesshoumaru was disgusted. "Is she going to get her camera?" he asked, wishing for invisibility or, at the very least, Kagome to be suddenly stricken blind.

"Nah," Rin answered. "She's probably just gonna call Sango." He hung his head in shame. "You don't need to be embarrassed Uncle Sesshoumaru. You look really pretty."

XxXxX

Kagome delivered a large, non-fat, iced latte and vegan bran muffin to Sango and flopped on the couch in her office. "It's hot as balls out there. Fucking August."

"Shit, Kagome!" Sango exclaimed. "What happened to your face?"

Kagome tenderly touched her fat lip with her tongue. "I walked in on Rin playing Beauty Parlor with Sesshoumaru."

"And what…he hit you?" Sango asked brusquely, failing to see the connection.

Kagome sipped her cool beverage. "No, he came over this morning to give something to Rin, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. So hard that I had blood dripping down my chin."

"Poor man," Sango laughed. "I've seen the pictures of Inuyasha; I know what she's capable of."

"God Sango," Kagome sighed, emoting. "I've never seen anything so fucking precious as Rin connecting with her uncle, establishing a relationship like she had with Yasha. Killing me. But in a good way."

Sango sobered. "Is it getting any easier?" she asked gently.

"Yeah. I hardly cry at all anymore. Not that I don't miss them constantly, but it doesn't physically hurt as much. Knowing that the Taishos are taking to Rin helps a lot. And she to them…the girl just soaks it up. Total love sponge. That she's happy removes a huge angsty, tragic aspect from the…angst and tragedy."

Sango was relieved, knowing that Kagome would tell her if she wasn't coping. "So things are going well?"

"All good…so far. The Taishos' look of outright hostility has turned into cautious ambiguity into tolerant acceptance. And Sesshoumaru…I've started thinking of him as a real, albeit sinfully hot, friend."

"What do you think he's like in bed?" Sango asked slyly.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kagome growled. "I feel like I can't even have a normal conversation without you—"

"Like you haven't wondered," Sango interrupted, challenging.

Kagome's attempt at a derisive sneer failed miserably, punctuated by a short laugh. "Past experience has taught that self-absorbed men usually make lousy lovers, but I'll freely admit I was all wrong about him. He's got a high opinion of himself, but he's also complex and interesting, and I think he notices and cares way more than he lets on." She played with the lid of her beverage. "Yep. That whole I'm So Above You Unwashed Masses vibe is an act."

Sango decided to carefully push. "So are you ready to date again yet? It's been way over a year and a half since Dr. Hojo."

"Again with the pimpage!" Kagome scowled, but couldn't help but smile. "Soon…I promise."

"Good. Kagome, I wouldn't rush you into anything you aren't ready for, but I truly think you'll be fine. I'm so happy in my life. A healthy, committed, monogamous, long term relationship…I want you to have it too." She tore apart her muffin. "How about Ses—"

"Don't start!" The scowl came back tenfold. "He doesn't like me that way. Besides…he's my brother-in-law's brother. It'd be like incest or something."

"That's the worst excuse yet. Nothing like incest." Sango had seen the way Sesshoumaru had been watching Kagome and, knowing that her friend would not be unreceptive to overtures, began plotting, wondering what she could get away with.

Kagome narrowed her eyes; she had known Sango for ten years and could tell when she was up to something. "Are we still on for an Ultimate Frisbee picnic on Saturday?" she inquired, changing the subject. "You all don't really play in this heat do you?"

"We are totally on for Saturday. I talked to Bank today, and they are coming; Jak is already planning a four course meal. And yes we play…just drink lots of water and take a few extra breaks. Heat stroke is for wusses."

Kagome laughed. "And you, dear, are anything but a wuss." She started on her muffin.

"Hey, did you hear?" Sango inquired, newly animated. "Ayame broke up with Kouga."

Kagome almost spit out her food. "No. Fucking. Way. HOLYSHIT!"

"Yep," Sango nodded. "Kouga called Miroku last night freaking. She was the one who wrote that letter to Scarlet."

"Noooo. Nonono," Kagome groaned, pressing her palms against her forehead. "I was so afraid it was her. The resemblance in the details was just uncanny. Shit. Poor Kouga. Poor Ayame." She sat up. "God I feel so responsible. Please tell me the advice was okay."

Sango smiled softly. "You said, to summarize, 'I can't read his mind, so I don't know how he really feels about you, but you need to do what is right for you.' Not bad advice, Kagome," Sango said. "Don't blame yourself. Kouga brought this on by not letting go. I'm just surprised Ayame was able to go through with it. She must have been pretty unhappy."

Kagome only felt marginally better. "Crap. I wrote, 'I would rather be alone than with someone who didn't have his whole heart in it. I would rather be alone than with a partner who wanted someone else.' What if I was wrong? What if I just broke up a good couple? Crap." The advice she dispensed suddenly took on a very personal, very heavy weight. Her cell phone rang. She fished it out of her pocket and looked at the icon identifying the caller. A picture of Cling Wrap. Kouga. "Goddam coincidences."

XxXxX

"Kouga, come in. How are you?" Kagome asked after greeting the unshaven, forlorn-looking man with a long hug. Kouga had asked if he could come over to talk; Kagome, after easily extracting a promise that he wouldn't hit on her, agreed.

"Surviving," he muttered, following her into the cool, climate-controlled air of the guest house. "Where's little Rin?" He reached out to the dog hovering protectively at Kagome's side.

"She's spending the night at the big house with her grandparents. I figured you'd like some privacy." She steered him into the living room, pushed him down to sit on the sofa, and fetched two beers from the refrigerator. "Now," she said, sitting and handing him a beer, "you said you wanted to talk. I'm listening."

"Kagome…I'm confused."

She came close to choking on her beer. "Okay! Captain Obvious! Or is it Oblivious?" Kagome noticed his dejected appearance and became serious. "Kouga, you've been hung up on me for five years now, despite the fact that I've done absolutely nothing to encourage this devotion. I've known for a long time that you're confused…or delusional. Talk to me."

He looked at her sheepishly. "Can I kiss you?"

"_WHAT_!" she screamed in horror. "You swore you weren't going to do this. Kouga, I love you as a friend. You helped me through some major roughness, but right now I want to fucking punch you."

"God, don't!" he recoiled. "I'm not hitting on you. I just need to do an experiment."

"How about you explain what the hell you're shoveling first."

"Kagome," he began after a minute of thinking, "I have always considered you my soul mate, my woman." He raised his hand to silence her protest and quickly said, "That is until Ayame dumped me. I miss her, Kagome. It took losing her to make me realize it, and I can't believe I was such an idiot before, but I love her. I really do. I held out hope that you'd want a relationship with me for two years after we broke up…two miserable years. It's nothing compared to the last two days since she left." He sighed raggedly. "And now things are totally fucked. What should I do? I want her back."

She heard the honesty in his voice and laid a comforting hand over his. "Talk to her. Tell her all this…only leave out the part about me. Tell her you love her and you're a stupid retread for taking her for granted and you're a pathetic loser without her and you're sorry and things will change. Then give her some time. Breaking up with you felt counter-intuitive to her, and she's probably still feeling emotionally vulnerable. Let her know gently she's safe with you. That she can trust you. Then start dating again slowly, with you showing her at every step that she's the one you want to be with. Give her reasons to believe you. But no smothering. No suffocation. Let her meet you half-way."

Kouga looked relieved. He was given a strategy, a plan. "Thanks, Kags. Like always, you give the best advice. Unlike that bitch, Scarlet."

Kagome laughed. "'That bitch, Scarlet' is whom you should be thanking for forcing your stupid ass to get a clue."

They finished their beers, and Kagome walked him to his car, the evening air sticky and heavy from the high humidity.

"Kagome, thank you. I'm glad we've managed to stay friends through the years."

"Me too," she smiled.

"Can I still have a kiss?" Kouga asked quietly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Just as an experiment."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "What the hell. Go ahead." Apparently the heat is affecting my judgment, she thought.

Kouga leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, hesitantly at first, then with increasing boldness. He slipped an arm tightly around her waist and deepened the kiss. Kagome responded cautiously, twining her fingers in his hair, but taking care to keep tongues out of the picture.

Kouga pulled back and smiled widely, relief softening the look of distress he'd worn earlier. "I'll always have a soft spot for you, Kagome," he whispered. "But now I really know; Ayame is the one I want."

Kagome sighed, relieved. Kouga had smoldering, sexy eyes and was a fabulous kisser, but there was just no spark between them. "Glad to hear it. Now go get 'er, you big, bad wolf," she teased, playfully pinching his cheek. "Just remember what I said. Take it slow, with respect."

Kagome walked back to the welcoming, cool interior of the guest house, unaware of tall figure standing serenely at his bedroom window, watching with a frown on his face.

XxXxX

"Did she go down alright for you?" Kagome asked Sesshoumaru as he walked into the guest house living room. "I told her she wasn't allowed to take advantage of your status as Bedtime Noob, but I was still afraid she'd try to con a bunch of extra stories out of you." Rin had requested that her Uncle read to her that night. Kagome stayed nearby, hand-stitching narrow silver piping on a custom table runner and placemat set, patiently waiting to see if Rin needed reminding of proper bedtime protocol.

"She was very good," Sesshoumaru answered, not caring for the label of Noob. "I'm not letting the child treat me as a doormat, you know."

Kagome had a mental flash of two white-haired men, faces colorfully marked, each with the same gleeful child in his lap. Her comical expression and slow nod clearly articulated, 'You just go ahead and believe that, sucker'. "Would you like to stay for a drink? I know it's Friday night, but you don't look like you have plans." She had noticed his usual effortless, elegant appearance, but the casual, untucked, tailored linen shirt suggested that he wasn't on his way out for a night on the town.

"I'd like that; thank you." Though disappointed that she was apparently romantically involved with Kouga, whom he knew by reputation as a talented corporate lawyer, he enjoyed her company and had hoped she would invite him to stay.

"Grey Goose gimlet okay?" She set aside her sewing, careful to not displace the pins that held the intricate design in place. Sesshoumaru followed her into the kitchen, stopping briefly to pet the dog who rolled on his back in hopeful anticipation of a belly rub. Kagome looked behind and giggled. "Ah…his porn star pose. That dog has not a single shred of dignity. Except for when he runs; then his grace takes my breath away." She took out two glasses, Rose's Lime Juice, and vodka and ice from the freezer. "I was digging in the storage shed today…looking for my paddle ball of all things. I ended up spending two hours poking around and reminiscing and crying. I never found my paddle ball, but I did bring back a couple videos. Do you want to watch one with me?"

"A video? Of what?"

"Well," she began, handing him a drink, "you mentioned the other day that you wished your family had gotten to know Kikyou, so I thought you might like this one that Bank made on Halloween five years ago. Usually Kikyou was pretty aloof and stayed away from the center of attention, leaving the spotlight to my and Inuyasha's lunacy, but Bank wouldn't let her fade into the background and managed to capture the warmth of her personality." She thought he seemed interested, in his typical, unreadable Sesshoumaru way. "Bank had gotten a new video camera and fancied himself a documentarian; he took it everywhere. Meeting Jak, who told him he looked like a tourist, killed his movie-making ambitions, but I can't wait for the trip down memory lane." They went back into the living room, and Kagome put a disk into the DVD player. "Now I have to tell you," she said solemnly, "I'm really trusting you to show you this; it shows Inuyasha and I in a most unflattering light. We were both super stoned and acted like complete morons."

"Morons? Nothing I haven't seen before," he observed, mocking lightly.

She beamed and sat next to him, hitting PLAY.

_Kikyou, hugely pregnant and wearing a long, skimpy, earth-toned dress and headdress made of twisting vines and autumn leaves, sat on the sofa and smiled at the camera. "My name is Kikyou Higurashi. It is the night of Halloween 2002, and I am now costumed, courtesy of my wonderful sister, as Gaia." _PAUSE

"Because I could sew, I usually made Halloween costumes for all my friends," Kagome explained. "Have you ever seen anyone so beautiful though? She exemplified the quiet, voluptuous sensuality of pregnancy. That's why I dressed her as Mother Earth." Sesshoumaru had to acknowledge the woman onscreen, with her clear, fair skin and black, cascading corkscrews of curled hair was incredibly lovely. PLAY

"_Tell me something about yourself," came Bank's voice from off-screen._

"_Well, as one can see, I'm going to be giving birth soon. My…our first. In fact my due date is tomorrow, but the midwife told me she'd be surprised if I went before next week. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, but…don't tell Inuyasha…I'm secretly hoping for a girl. The Taisho line needs some female blood." She nodded sagely._

"_Can I still videotape the birth?"_

"_Yes, but no crotch shots," she said, matter-of-fact, "and I reserve the right to view it first and destroy all copies should I chose."_

"_Agreed," laughed Bank._

"_I'm so ready." She smiled shyly, rubbing the vast curve of her belly in a loving, protective gesture. "I feel like I've been pregnant my whole life. Longest nine months ever…but more than just wanting it OUT…I want to see this thing that has alternately made me feel like a woman capable of anything—I mean I'm growing another, living person for goddessake—and also made me so scared I can't breathe. And I can't wait to see Inuyasha hold his baby for the first time. He's going to be such a loving father." She sighed heavily. "And respirating normally again will be welcome."_

"_Any names?" Bank asked._

"_Not telling," she said coyly. "Inuyasha made a big list of baby names, but I had to cross more than half of them out on general principle. I'll put up with a lot, but naming a baby after a horror movie villain crosses a line." There was the loud sound of feet on stomping down stairs. "Well, if it isn't Cheech and Chong," Kikyou said. _PAUSE

"When Kikyou found out she was pregnant, she told Inuyasha that once the baby was born, no more getting high. I said I'd stop when he had to stop, so we pooled our pin money and bought a half pound of weed and smoked it all over the following eight months. That night was the last of the stash." She snuck a glance at Sesshoumaru hoping that he didn't look too judgmental. He was staring at her blankly.

"And do you plan on providing a running commentary through the whole thing?"

Kagome nudged him in her typical familiar way. "Of course, silly. You'll enjoy it more if I provide some context." PLAY

A_ door in back of Kikyou opened. Inuyasha and Kagome, enveloped in a cloud of bluish smoke, spilled out, laughing at each other. Kagome had short hair, colored purple, and Inuyasha was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that read 'Dyslexics of the World, Untie!' They punched and shushed each other, straightened and walked calmly to sit on either side of Kikyou, looked at each other, and then burst into snorts of incapacitating laughter. _PAUSE

Kagome stared at the image on the screen, and her eyes filled with tears. "God, I forgot about my hair…dye job gone wrong. I really miss them," she said softly. PLAY

_Kikyou closed her eyes and slowly shook her head, as the two people on either side of her held their sides and gasped for air. "Yes, it's true; I'm bringing a child into this household."_

_Inuyasha came to his senses and leaned over, smooching her on the cheek. "Hey Bank!" he greeted lazily. "Why aren't you dressed up?"_

"_I am. I'm a film student." The camera spun around to capture the person holding it. Bank raised a brow rakishly and went back to filming the trio on the couch._

"_Lame," was the verdict of all three._

_Kagome, now suddenly serious, turned her focus to her sister's head and adjusted the crown of leaves. "This is holding up better than I thought it would. I was afraid it would just crumble apart, but all good." She stared at Kikyou, entranced. "You're so pretty, Kikyou. I wish I looked like you."_

"_Good god," Kikyou scoffed. "We're twins. You two are pathetic. I almost wish I was staying home to hand out candy instead of just leaving it on the front step."_

_Kagome and Inuyasha snapped to attention. "Candy?" they chanted simultaneously. They looked at each other with narrowed eyes, challenging. The race to the kitchen and the large bag of Halloween candy was on, with Kagome the victor; she raced across the room, bag of candy hugged to her chest, and ran off-screen, Inuyasha close on her heels. Shrieks and screamed complaints were heard._

"_Any bets on how long it takes Child Protective Services to come knocking on our door?" she asked, wry grin on her face._

"_Nah," Bank said. "You two will be good parents."_

"_I know," she nodded, composed and confident. "Inuyasha has been so sweet. Last weekend was the worst yet, sleep wise. I couldn't get comfortable lying down, and when I did I had to get up right away to use the bathroom…hardly any rest. He let me sleep in and brought me breakfast in bed." She paused. "Do you realize what that means?"_

"_Mmm…tell me."_

"_He got up early and made Smart Bacon and an egg substitute omelet."_

"_Inuyasha made something without meat? Damn." Bank's voice sounded impressed._

"_Sometimes I love that man so much it hurts." Inuyasha's curse-inflected shouts became louder. "And other times I want to kill him dead."_

_Suddenly Inuyasha, now holding the candy and with Kagome riding on his back, ran into the room. "Get off me, you stupid slut!"_

_Kagome was pulling his hair with one hand and reaching for the candy with the other. "I'm. Not. Stupid!"_

_Kikyou buried her face in her hands for a moment. "Will you two please have pity on the poor, pregnant woman and KNOCK IT OFF!" Thoroughly chastised and rendered speechless, they sat down quickly. "Now, I've got to be in court tomorrow for CASA stuff at eight in the morning. Why don't you two get ready so we can go to this party," she said._

_Inuyasha kissed her. "Sorry, babe. We'll behave." His wife answered with a look of skeptical, but indulgent, annoyance._

"_Inuyasha, your costume is in the spare bedroom. And you have to wear _all_ of it," Kagome ordered._

_He left after glaring at Kagome, and Kikyou asked quietly, "What is it? You've been very secretive."_

_A devious grin bloomed on Kagome's face. "Sensitive New Age Guy."_

_Kikyou laughed with shocked delight. "A SNAG? Oh god, you _are _cruel!"_

"_Aw FUCK!" Inuyasha thundered off-screen. "Kagome, you bitch!" He stormed into the room with a pair of khaki pants. "Pleated pants? Birkenstock sandals? No way in hell am I wearing this shit!"_

_Kagome stood and marched up to him. "I had to go to three separate thrift stores to find all these items in your size," she said harshly, but then softened her tone. "Yash, I guarantee that if you put all that on and stay in character you'll win the best costume prize. It's only for one night."_

_Inuyasha was distressed. "I'm gonna look like a total douche."_

"_That's the point," Kagome urged. "You'll look completely opposite how you usually do. Come on…$100 cash prize and bragging rights. You know you want to," she pressured._

_He remained unconvinced._

"_Inuyasha," Kikyou called, voice laced with seduction and a Come Hither expression on her face. He glumly sat next to her, and she whispered in his ear. _

_A wicked grin curled his mouth and spread into his hot, amber eyes. "You promise?" Kikyou's only answer was a slightly arched brow. He sped away, and Kagome took his spot._

"_Don't forget to put on the socks!" she called over her shoulder. "They have little rainbow colored peace signs all over them."_

"_Damn," Bank said, "I had no idea you were such a sadist, Kagome."_

"_It'll be good for him." Kagome nodded, then looked at her sister. "What did you promise?"_

"_I told him he could tie me up after the party." _PAUSE

"I know I told you that Kikyou was the dominant one sexually, but they did some role reversal too. For someone who was as in control as Kikyou was, being blindfolded or tied up or both, while scary, was a total turn-on, a huge exercise in trust, really breaking down a lot of barriers. She said it was incredibly erotic…once she got over herself. Inuyasha said the first time they traded places, she was only wearing a blindfold and she still said the safeword a dozen times. His tolerance says a lot."

Sesshoumaru grimaced slightly. "I'm really fine with not knowing the details of my brother's sex life, Kagome."

"Suit yourself," she shrugged. PLAY

_There was another angry shout off-screen. "He must have seen the t-shirt," Kagome smirked. "Sango and Miroku are going to be here any minute; I should go get ready." _

_Inuyasha entered the room again, glowering. He was wearing sandals with socks, pleated pants, and a shirt that read 'The Goddess is Alive and Magic is Afoot'. Kagome went and circled him slowly. "One more thing." She tucked his shirt in. _

"_Are you done, you evil cow?"_

"_Inuyasha, be nice," Kikyou warned._

_Kagome kissed his cheek. "You're a good sport. I swear you'll win."_

"_I better, or you'll pay for this." He smiled and kissed her back. "Why couldn't you dress me up as something easy? Like Johnny Cash or someone?"_

_Kagome shook her head in patronizing disbelief. "The Man in Black? You're not worthy." She went upstairs to her room, and Inuyasha sat back down resting his head on Kikyou's abdomen._

"_At least someone here isn't out to get me," he said. "Hey baby, in there; it's your Dad. You'll be on my side, won't you?" Kikyou ran her fingers through his hair, smiling peacefully. _

_They heard a knock and people on the stairs. Miroku and Sango appeared, both dressed in tight, black clothes, sporting sunglasses, and carrying automatic weapons._

"_Let me guess," Bank said. "George W. and Laura Bush?"_

"_Neo and Trinity," Miroku replied. He saw Inuyasha and winced. "Dude…did you lose a bet?"_

"_No," Inuyasha replied gruffly, standing and helping Kikyou struggle to her feet. "Just Kagome nonviolently busting my balls."_

_Miroku looked down and cocked his head. "Nice socks," he observed. "And you're almost out of candy downstairs."_

"_I'll fill it up on the way out." Kikyou greeted Sango and Miroku with hugs and kisses. _

"_Darling, you look gorgeous! Kagome outdid herself," Sango proclaimed. "I'd bet money you'll win best costume." _

_Inuyasha sighed in resignation. _

"_Hey everybody! You all look great!" Kagome gushed as she came back downstairs. She was dressed as a Christmas elf, in a short, red dress, trimmed in white fake fur, with a matching hat, but she also had a red forked tail coming out from under her dress, red horns sprouting from her forehead, fishnet hose, and tall, high-heeled, black leather boots. "Kikyou, can I still borrow your leather riding crop for the night? Or do you think it will be too intimidating? I really wanna get laid tonight."_

"_Oh, I don't think you'll have any problems there. And the addition of a riding crop will only add to your…mystique," Miroku said lasciviously, earning a swift elbow to the ribs from Sango. "What exactly are you, my dear?"_

"_Satan's Little Helper," Kagome said._ PAUSE

"I've always had this weird fascination with the similarities between the words Satan and Santa." She looked at Sesshoumaru and could tell there was amusement simmering beneath the haughty disdain. She had a sudden urge to tickle him and had to remind herself that he was not his brother. PLAY

"_I see you pulled out the Tie Me Up And Fuck Me Boots," Kikyou commented._

"_I figured they don't have sensible shoes in hell." Kagome said, preening. "I'm hoping Sean will be there tonight."_

"_That guy?" Sango asked. "I thought you said his idea of the foreplay was to say 'let's go to bed.'"_

"_Yeah," Kagome allowed, "but his voice is sooo sexy." She turned to Inuyasha. "And you best not interfere—no more chasing off potential hook-ups"_

_Inuyasha scoffed, "God, Kagome, what's happening to you? If you mean that guy you were talking to at the Church Pew the other night, he was a total bottom feeder. These one-night-stands…you're lowering the bar with every skuzzy, greasy dirt ball—"_

"_Hey!" she interrupted. "If you are referring to my Catch And Release Policy…I know you're only trying to protect me, Yasha," she reassured, hugging him, "but I'm fine. It's not like I'm hanging out in front of the methadone clinic."_

"_Thank god for small mercies," he responded, trading concerned glances with Sango._

"_Ugh. I need to pee again," Kikyou said. "Can we go after that?"_

"_I just talked to Kouga. He's on his way." _

"_Not the hippy!" Inuyasha groaned. "Thank fucking god you dumped that patchouli-soaked flower child."_

"_I didn't dump him," Kagome protested. "I…set him down gently. If you'd get to know him you'd probably like each other."_

"_Feh."_

_Kikyou came back from the bathroom a moment before Kouga, dressed in black and carrying a guitar, walked in. "Ooo Kouga," all three women and Bank cooed. _

"_I'm so glad you're coming with us. You make a great Johnny Cash!" Kagome hugged him affectionately._

_Inuyasha looked at his clothes and shook his head. "Fuck it. Let's go." _PAUSE

"My drink is dry. Want another?" Kagome asked, noting that his glass was also empty.

They walked into the kitchen together.

"Kouga and I went out briefly, earlier that summer," Kagome explained. "After the assault and ensuing depression, I was understandably petrified to date again. Kouga and Miroku were taking a BAR/BRI course together, and Kikyou knew him from volunteer work, so they set us up. To say I was gun-shy is a total understatement, and Kouga was patient and gentle with me." She smiled softly, remembering her terror the first time they were alone together. "I had to end it after a few weeks. He was convinced we were soul mates, and after being stalked, I couldn't handle a guy who was way more into me than I was him. But he's finally moved on…after five years. I even let him kiss me last night, so he could realize he was cured of his obsession."

Sesshoumaru decided not to question his happiness at hearing this news. "Obsession? Why?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Because of my bright personality and sparkling wit, of course," Kagome said. "And I give really good head," she added, voice low and sultry, before turning to take the vodka from the freezer.

An inopportune vibration from the cell phone in his pocket took Sesshoumaru's attention before he had a chance to process this information. "Dammit," he cursed, looking at the number. "Kagome, I need to leave and return this in my study. It's my financial advisor calling about an overseas investment opportunity. Can we finish another time?"

"Oh…yeah." She was visibly disappointed. "Can you still go to Sango's Ultimate game with us tomorrow? It'll be fun, I promise!"

"I look forward to it," he replied.

Kagome saw him out, trying not to analyze her feelings beyond friendship.

&&&

_Sorry for the crazy-long lengths of these chapters; I try to keep them under 5000 words, but fail repeatedly. I do not own Inuyasha. Also unaffiliated with Frisbee, Cling Wrap, Grey Goose, Rose's Lime, Cheech and Chong, Smart Bacon, CASA, Birkenstock, any referenced t-shirt slogans, any Matrix characters, and BAR/BRI. Thank you all so much for reading. _


	18. Adventures in Babysitting

"Sorry we're late," Kouga announced as he and Ayame approached the large group of friends who were gathered at the side of a crowded playing field. "Wow, that's quite a spread," he said appreciatively, eyeing the vast expanse of food set out on two adjoining picnic tables. "Where should I put this?"

Jak saw what Kouga was carrying and shot him a condescending sneer. "Watermelon? The lazy person's contribution to a picnic," he scoffed. "I bet you didn't even bring a knife. Kouga, here I thought you were going to replace Inuyasha in my heart as Object of Unrequited Lust, but you've just taken a nose dive in my estimation. Quick! Take off your clothes to redeem yourself!"

"Hey!" Miroku protested. "I thought I was your new love interest." He and Jak waggled eyebrows at each other with exaggerated comic sexuality.

"Jak was always attracted to your brother," Kagome told Sesshoumaru with a naughty smile, "and when he found out Inuyasha let Kikyou do him with a strap-on, it turned into a big, fat, obsessive crush."

Sesshoumaru sighed patiently, knowing she took perverse pleasure taunting him with bits of information he considered highly inappropriate.

"Hi Kagome, Sesshoumaru," Ayame greeted, simmering with excitement. "Where's Bank?"

"He went with Rin to get some water for Kagome's beast," Miroku responded. "What took you so long anyway? They're taking a break, but Sango's team is only one point from winning. It'll be over any time."

"We were a little busy." Kouga nudged Ayame. "Show them." Ayame held out her left hand, adorned with an obscenely large diamond.

"Girl," Kanna purred, "that thing is blinding."

"Is that band platinum?" Jak lifted her hand and inspected the ring, nodding his approval. "I'll plan your wedding. I'm envisioning…spring, outdoors, bouquets of irises."

As most of the group offered congratulations and admired the rock on Ayame's finger, Kagome drew Kouga aside. "So much for taking things slow," she scolded with an elbow nudge.

"I got a little caught up in the moment," he said.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked with concern.

He grinned. "No doubts."

Kagome couldn't keep from smiling in return. "Congratulations." They embraced warmly, and she said in a low voice, "And there's nothing wrong with long engagements."

Cheers erupted as the two Ultimate teams took the field and resumed play, and the group refocused the collective attention on the game.

"Damn, Miroku," Kagome commented, watching Sango, who had taken off her sweaty t-shirt and was now clad in nothing more than a sports bra and running shorts. She gracefully jumped and caught the flying disc in mid-air and threw it to a teammate, then ran down the field toward the other team's end zone. "Sango's the smex."

"Isn't she, though," he replied hotly. "How about you ditch this celibacy nonsense and have a three-some with me and the wife?"

Kagome snorted. "As tempted as I am…after a lull of going on two years, group sex with close friends just seems a little drastic."

"Come on, Kagome," Miroku teased, "you were always the person who jumped into the deep end of the pool."

"I think in this case I'll be standing in the shallow end, slowly getting my feet wet," she said, pouring herself an iced tea, "but more on that later. I only want to say it once, and Sango needs to hear it more than anyone."

All present were curious about the hint Kagome had dropped, but were distracted by the huge dog that was barreling into their midst, followed by Bank, piggybacking a delighted Rin.

"Obi!" Kagome called, crouching down with her arms out. He ran right past her to come to a stop in front of Sesshoumaru, panting heavily. "What the—" Kagome stood and stared. "What'd you do to my dog?"

Sesshoumaru scratched the top of the canine head and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"That." Kagome gesticulated vaguely. "He's never, _ever_ walked past me to greet someone else. Do you have…gravy in your pocket or something?"

"Gravy in my pocket?" he echoed incredulously.

"You must have done something for him to bypass me." She held her hand out to the dog, who responded by leaning against Sesshoumaru, obviously not interested in abandoning the petting he was receiving. Rin, once again on the ground, came skipping up and hugged Sesshoumaru's other leg, smiling up with joy. "First the dog…now the kid. I'm feeling very unloved," she pouted.

Kagome's self-pity was interrupted by the action on the field. Sango, at one end of the field, dove to make a catch for the score, resulting in the end of the game. After congratulations and condolences were exchanged by the two teams, Sango jogged up, flushed, sweaty, and grass stained. She threw her arms around her husband, laughing at his mock indignation at being assaulted while she was in such a filthy state.

"You like it and you know it," she giggled, groping his ass in perfect imitation of his own trademark move.

"Get a room, you two," Jak said. "You know how jealous I get."

"Aw," Kagome taunted in a baby voice, "does Jaky have a Straight-Boy Fetish?"

"You know it," he responded, blowing her a kiss.

Sango grabbed a water bottle and, after dumping half of it on her head, took a drink. "That's it," she said, catching her breath. "We're in the finals; it's over for now. Right now I'm just thankful it isn't quite as hot as it's been the past week."

"No kidding." Kagome agreed, looking at the food containers floating in ice water. "Half this stuff never would have survived that ninety eight degree shit of two days ago." She remembered with a start that Rin was back and smiled guiltily at the stern looks on the faces of the girl and her uncle. "Let's eat?" she offered, hoping to placate them.

Once Sango had cooled down a bit and washed as best she could, Kouga and Ayame shared their news, and the group felt it had leave to descend on the crudités platter, pita, baba ganoush and hummus, grilled vegetable sandwiches, roasted garlic potato salad, and pecan-crusted brie with gusto. Someone had even managed to procure a sharp knife to cut into the ubiquitous watermelon. Once everyone had declared themselves nearly stuffed, Kagome presented dessert, a delectable lemon curd and raspberry trifle.

"Alright everybody, I've got a little announcement." Kagome said, waiting for her friends' attention. "Due to some not-so-gentle pressure from a certain person whose initials are…Sango Mori," she trained her accusatory glare good-naturedly at Sango, "I have come to a decision." She took a deep breath. "I'm ready to date again."

Jak hooted with laughter. "Kagome Higurashi's Protected Wetlands are now open for Public Drilling! Who's your first victim, Kags?"

Kagome hoped the withering gaze directed at Jak would silence any other snarky comments. "Derrick Abersold, if you must know. He called me today and asked me out for dinner. He's a nice…non-threatening guy, and I decided not to say No."

"Derrick…he took over the zombie walk," Miroku said, nodding. "Isn't he kind of young for you?"

"He's twenty. Not that young."

Jak did a quick mathematical calculation. "Tadpoling, Kagome?" he needled.

"What?" she snarled.

"Half Your Age Plus Seven Rule. You're twenty-eight. Fourteen plus seven. Twenty-one is the lowest you can go without robbing the cradle. Are you going to start trolling at high school parking lots next?"

Kagome chewed her lip. "Shut the fu—" she stopped herself in time. "Just be quiet. I'd thought you be happy for me."

Sango put her arm around Kagome in encouragement and leveled a glare at Jak. "We _are_ happy for you, honey. I know this is a big step, but you're ready." Sango was pleased that Kagome was moving on and completely understood her desire to ease back into things, but she nevertheless stole a look at Sesshoumaru to gauge his reaction. He certainly was difficult to read; she honestly couldn't tell if he was displeased or not, but Sango did notice that Rin was peering at him curiously.

"I don't want to make a huge deal out of it; it's been a while, but shouldn't be hard to pick up where I left off...like falling off a bike, right?"

"Kagome," Miroku laughed, "I think the expression is 'like riding a bike', though in your case, falling seems so oddly apt."

"Whatever." Kagome waved her hand dismissively. "I need to call Planned Parenthood on Monday and make an appointment to get back on the pill and stock up on condoms."

"Well, I for one am happy you are getting your social life back," Bank said. "This shunning men thing was getting ridiculous."

"It's just dinner with one of Inuyasha's acolytes," Kagome said lightly. She looked at Sesshoumaru. "So…I know your parents are going out of town all next week. Can you babysit on Thursday night?"

"What time?" he asked with feigned disinterest, trying not to betray his jealousy.

"I'm not a baby," Rin retorted, wishing she understood better the disappointed frustration she sensed floating around her uncle.

XxXxX

Kagome breezed into the living room where Sesshoumaru was sitting with Rin, surrounded by the day's art projects. "So how do I look? This hemline is so short I actually had to put on underwe—" She flushed with embarrassment. "Let's pretend I didn't say that."

Sesshoumaru hoped his extreme displeasure did not reach his face. Kagome was wearing an aqua-colored, spaghetti-strap, silk mini dress that seems like it was designed solely to be taken off, and he couldn't stand the fact that she, looking like the dictionary definition of the word Sexy, was going on a date with someone other than him. The situation was unacceptable. "Kagome," he began in what he hoped was an innocent-sounding voice, scarcely able to believe the level to which he was about to stoop, "have you gained weight?"

Kagome froze in alarm. "_Oh my god_! DoIlookfat?" she worried, scandalized.

"No, no, of course not," he contradicted, too quickly for her comfort. "Forget I said anything."

She spun and fled back into her bedroom. Sesshoumaru tried to avoid Rin's penetrating gaze. He didn't buy into the mind reading ability Kagome had mentioned, but the girl did seem astonishingly perceptive.

Rin studied him, gradually becoming aware of something of which she only had the vaguest comprehension. _He liked her_. "Uncle Sesshoumaru," she asked slyly, utterly failing in her attempt to act as if the question she was about to ask was purely casual and meant nothing, "do you think Kagome's pretty?"

He was spared from answering by the entrance of the subject of inquiry. Kagome was now dressed in a long, flowing skirt and loose, three-quarter sleeve top. Still stunning, but more modestly covered, the clothes were far less likely to induce the urge to throw her down and strip her naked than previous article had him confronting only minutes earlier.

"I've got to go," she said, fumbling in her bag for keys. "I won't be out too late, but will you let Oberon out in an hour or two? And Rin really needs a bath tonight; she got dirty at the playground today. I was able to wash off the surface layer, but the stubborn filth usually requires a good soak. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Kagome, I'll remind you I've put the child to bed several times already."

"Yeah, but your mother or I was always in shouting distance." She looked intently at Rin. "You. Be good." Kagome leaned down and kissed the smooth forehead tenderly. "Thanks a lot for babysitting," she said, turning her attention again to Sesshoumaru. "You've got my number; don't hesitate to call if she's too much to handle."

Sesshoumaru raised his brow in an elegant, irritated gesture. He ran a successful corporation, owned most of the city's prime downtown real estate, and had a black belt in Kendo. The implication that he was out of his league rankled. "We'll be fine," he muttered dryly.

"Jeez, I wasn't trying to insult you!" She bent down and gave Rin another kiss, then straightened a little and kissed Sesshoumaru on his cheek in her most sisterly, affectionate way.

After she left, Rin smiled, "Will you play a game with me?"

"What game," he asked hesitantly, still feeling the feathery weightlessness of Kagome's lips brushing against his skin.

Rin climbed down from the sofa, saying, "Be right back." She returned from her room a moment later with a battered, colorful box. "Candy Land!" She set it on the coffee table. "Sango gave my Mommy this when I was a baby. My friend, Shippou, has it too, but it's the Dora the Explorer one." She took out the board. "What color do you want to be?"

"Red," he replied, relieved; he could deal with a board game.

"You can't be red. I'm always red," Rin said with exasperation, as if he should already know this.

"Blue."

Rin put the pieces at the starting point. "You just take the top card and go to the next square with that color. There's special cards too. You'll see."

The game, which had started with such cheer went downhill precipitously. Rin drew a red card, allowing her to move forward only one space. Sesshoumaru drew an orange, sending him over the Rainbow Trail.

"That was lucky," he said, unaware that when Kagome, Kikyou, and Inuyasha played with the girl, they always stacked the deck to let Rin win in a landslide. "I just skipped about a third of the course."

Rin scowled her disapproval. She hadn't lost a game of Candy Land played against an adult since before she could remember. She drew the next card—a purple, moving her up one. Sesshoumaru drew a double green and moved up ten squares. Rin's next card was a yellow, again sending her forward one. Play proceeded in that fashion, with Sesshoumaru frequently drawing double colors and Rin inching forward, as her confusion turned to anger. Just as it seemed as though Sesshoumaru would win within the next few turns, he drew a red and got stuck in the Molasses Swamp. Rin heaved a grateful sigh; she would have a chance to catch up to him. Sesshoumaru, for his part, could tell his niece was getting frustrated at how slowly she was advancing, but had no idea the size of the maelstrom that was threatening.

Rin drew a card with a lollipop on it. "Princess Lolly!" she squealed. She skipped forward several dozen spaces; all was not lost. Sesshoumaru was still stuck, and she was making swift progress. Rin drew a double green, putting her directly behind him. Sesshoumaru's next card was a red, providing the necessary means to move out of the swamp, but then disaster struck. Rin drew a card with a Candy Cane. Her face fell. Her lower lip quivered. Her eyes filled with tears. "Mr. Mint," she whispered, like a death sentence. She looked at Sesshoumaru, who was patiently waiting for her to move her red gingerbread-shaped token to the Peppermint Forest at the bottom of the board, and couldn't understand why her uncle didn't say she was immune from moving backwards like her parents and Kagome always did. Sesshoumaru drew a double purple. He won.

"Again," Rin demanded, face torn between disbelief and anger.

Sesshoumaru knew the child was on the verge of a meltdown, but felt powerless. She wanted to win; however despite the shared desire for that outcome, the chances were only fifty-fifty. He acquiesced, reluctantly shuffling the stack of tattered cards and moving the game pieces back to the beginning. "Rin, it's only a game. The important thing is for us to have fun. It doesn't really matter who wins."

Rin gave him a look of such repulsed, insolent annoyance that he swore the girl was channeling Inuyasha from beyond the grave. "Again," she growled.

Sesshoumaru, as the winner of the previous game, took the top card. It was a snowflake, even more worn than the rest of the deck. Rin looked on in horror. Queen Frostine was _her_ card.

"NOOO!" she shouted. "That's MY card. I'm going first." She tried to pull it out of his hand.

"Rin," he scolded, trying not to sound too harsh, "we have to follow the rules."

Rin answered by screaming, "You're cheating! Give it to me!"

His determination to act like a detached adult was crumbling in the face of the ferocious, unfair anger. He knew that it would be a bad idea to let her have her way after such obnoxious behavior, but he had never seen the girl act in that manner and didn't know the best way to diffuse the Rin-Bomb, teetering on the edge of explosion. "I'm not cheating," he said reasonably. "Now calm down or we will have to put it away. I won't play with you if you insist on throwing a tantrum like a spoiled, little two-year old."

It was the exact wrong thing to say. "I'm NOT A BABY!" Rin picked up the stack of cards and threw them as hard as she could, then threw the game pieces and the board itself. Oberon, lying nearby, retreated in order to avoid becoming collateral damage, tail between his legs. She stopped and suddenly became cognizant of Sesshoumaru's stern condemnation and the truth of his words. Bursting into tears, she retreated into the safety of her bedroom, empty of the visible evidence of her deplorable conduct and an adult whom she would have given anything to not disappoint.

Sesshoumaru waited a few minutes, giving the girl an opportunity to get the hottest, most immediate part of her temper out, then went into the room. Rin was curled up in a ball on her bed, face buried, hiccupping the end of her sobs. He sat next to her and laid a hand on a shaking shoulder.

Rin lifted her head, dangerously close to crying anew. "I'm sorry," she apologized, voice barely audible.

Sesshoumaru tilted her chin and saw terror in the wide, amber eyes. He picked her up and held her small body close against him.

"I'm sorry. Please don't go away. I'll be good. I promise," she said frantically, hiding her face in his chest.

"Rin," he gentled, "I'm not going anywhere." He stroked the untidy dark hair until she looked up at him, trusting that he wouldn't reject her, that the damage wasn't permanent. Smiling, he asked with amusement, "Now what was that all about? I think you scared the dog."

Rin sniffed. "I guess I don't like to lose at Candy Land."

He laughed quietly. "I guess not. Why don't we go back into the living room. I'll help you pick up the mess you made, and then you can have your bath."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru scanned Kagome's liquor bottles without a hint of remorse, praying she was fond of whiskey; he was in dire need of a stiff drink. Rin was finally asleep, hopefully to remain that way, and though he brought his laptop to do research for his upcoming trip, he decided he would skip work and go directly to indulging in Scarlet Letter'd.

The rest of the evening had gone much better than Candy Land; Rin had gotten over the shame of her behavior and cheered up considerably, but the process of bathing the girl had nonetheless left him exhausted. It had begun with his apparent inability to get the water temperature just right and continued with Rin pouring half a bottle of foam bath into the water, which he realized, too late, was expensive and probably Kagome's. The bubbles went above the girl's head, even when she was standing, and slopped over the side of the tub and puddled on the floor in a way that seemed to mockingly punctuate his incompetence.

He learned several valuable lessons in the course of the hour that Rin played in the water. First, one should never trust a four-year old under any circumstances, but especially not to use the correct amount of bath product. Second, one should insist the child in question sit on the toilet before climbing into the tub, even if said child claims the lack of need. Third, related to the second point, when naked and wet, children are slipperier than one could possibly imagine. Fourth, make certain one sets aside a towel for the drying of the child before attempting to soak up the bubbles and water threatening to flood the room. He managed somehow to dry his niece and get her into bed, but not before the entire bathroom floor was damp, populated by lumpy, water-logged towels that resembled sad, beached whales.

He knew he should do something about the towels before Kagome returned, but after Rin coaxed what he suspected was an unprecedented number of books from him and kept calling him back into her room for a drink of water…for an extra kiss…to tell him she loved him…to kiss her stuffed animals… to tuck her in better, he only wanted to relax for a few minutes.

He sat on the sofa and poured a drink, then petted the dog next to him, who seemed as grateful as he that peace had perhaps finally descended, and turned to the back of _The Missing Link_.

_**Scarlet Letter'd: Advice from the Soapbox of the Damned**_

_Dear Scarlet, Why do young women dislike nice guys? I'm smart, interesting, funny, and good-looking, but I can't find anyone to go out with me. When I go out with a young woman I treat her like a princess—open doors for her, pay the bills, lavishly compliment her hair and clothes (even if she doesn't look that great), and politely behave like a gentleman, but I rarely get second dates. The only women who seem willing to give me a try are totally desperate, either fat or old, and beneath my consideration. I see all around me examples of women preferring the "bad boy" type over guys like me. Why do women want to be treated like shit? I'm tempted to act like an asshole, because it will probably get me laid. Signed, Why Are Women So Ignorant_

_Dear Ignorant, Perhaps the reason you aren't getting any second dates is because you are whiny, insincere, and boring. That "bad boy" you see all the girls swooning over may in fact be pleasant to be around, as well as being dangerously sexy. I will argue, contrary to your central thesis, that women do __**not**__ like to be treated badly. Nor do we like to be put on pedestals. I, for one, find a potential partner who will treat me like an equal an attractive one. I can open my own damn door and prefer to split bills or at least take turns paying. Also I can sniff out bullshit like a bloodhound—if a guy showered me with remarks about my lovely appearance, I'd think he was gay or up to something. It is true, some women are turned on by the rebel or the loner archetype ; also true, unfortunately, is the fact that some women have no backbone and can't stand up to a jerk (whether or not they __**like**__ the behavior is debatable). However I think the majority of women like guys who are nice and polite, without being a yawn-inducing sycophant, and actually interesting (not merely believing they are)…though I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a touch of mysterious and menacing sensuality only sweetens the deal. If you are considering acting "like an asshole", something you purport is so antithetical to your real personality, in order to get some, maybe __**you**__ are the one who is desperate. _

He was interrupted from his fantasizing about how he could learn the identity of Scarlet by the sounds of Kagome coming home. The dog heard the van first and went, tail wagging, to the door, which opened after a moment. Kagome entered and petted and cooed at the dog, asking "Were you a good boy? Who's a good boy?" She noticed Sesshoumaru on the sofa, drink in hand.

"Hey! How'd it go?" She saw the Candy Land box on the coffee table. "Candy Land? She hasn't wanted to play that in a long—" Realization slapped her. "Oh god. Ohmy_god_. You don't know the Candy Land Rules. Is she still alive?" Kagome didn't wait for an answer. "I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea she'd pull that out. We haven't played it in ages."

"We…survived," Sesshoumaru responded neutrally.

"Shit," Kagome said, tossing her bag on the kitchen counter and grabbing a glass and two ice cubes. "Rin is an amazingly great kid…really just a fucking fabulous, wonderful, loving child." She flopped on the couch next to Sesshoumaru and splashed some of the Bushmills 16-Year Old Single Malt into her glass. "But I suppose we all have our downfall, and for Rin it is Candy Land. We started playing it with her when she was almost three…thought it would be a great first game—minimal counting, good introduction to colors, teach fair play, all that. Which would have been fine, had it not been for Queen Frostine." She inhaled the aroma of the liquor and took a sip. "Really that card is just too powerful to belong in a game for young children. The person who draws it practically has a lock on victory. But for Rin, that the Arctic Trollop looked all pretty and princessy and happy was just too alluring. She starting throwing fits when someone else drew it; started putting the card under her pillow at night. Then she started freaking if she didn't win. Normally Kikyou was a fairly strict disciplinarian and would never abide that kind of shit, but when she tried taking Queen Frostine out of deck, Rin lost it. We decided she was kind of obsessed and cutting her off cold turkey would do more harm than good, so we just humored her when we couldn't avoid playing, figuring that when she was older and a little less crazy about it, we could stop fixing the game. Really Candy Land is the only game she's ever done anything other than totally be a good sport. Am I to assume, based on the fact that you've got my good Irish whiskey out, that she's still got some hang-ups?" Kagome asked, a little smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

Now that the situation was behind him, Sesshoumaru was able to see the humor in it. Almost. "She threw a rather large fit, but seemed to understand the gravity as soon as she was finished and was suitably remonstrative. And afraid I'd leave her."

The smile disappeared. "Poor thing. I imagine the death of her parents has left some lingering fear of abandonment. Kids this age are still trying to find their place in a big, sometimes scary world that doesn't always play fair; tantrums are par for the course, and with Rin, they are fortunately few and far between. Sorry that happened. How did the rest of the night go? Did she get a bath in?"

"Uh…" Sesshoumaru scratched the back of his head and wouldn't meet her eyes.

Kagome looked at him suspiciously; she had never seen him hedge like that before. She got up and disappeared into the bathroom, returning a few minutes later. "What the hell happened? Every towel I own is soaked. And half my L'Occitane is gone." She was obviously irritated and sat back down heavily. "That was a gift from Inuyasha. Do you know how fucking expensive that stuff is?"

"Kagome, I'll replace it. I had no idea Rin would put so much in."

"Rin did it? She knows my stuff is off limits…sneaky little shit. Hers is the Burt's Bees." Kagome poured them another drink. "What time did she go to sleep?"

"About half an hour ago." Kagome noted the time was ten thirty and gaped at him incredulously. "She kept needing things," he said in his defense.

Kagome laughed. "That kid excels at filibustering, and she seems to have run _all_ over you. She's good though," she said reassuringly patting his arm. "I know how tempting it is to give her everything she wants, how fun it is to make her happy. I'm still working on that with your father. You just gotta show her you're not a pushover. She'll be disappointed at first, but she'll get over it. Kids may think they like to be in control, but they need the security of knowing who's really in charge. Firm but loving."

He wanted to contradict her belief that he was in need of parenting advice, but knew she was correct. "How was your date?" he asked, changing the subject.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Epic Fail. He said, and I quote, 'Kagome, you've always been like a big sister to me, and Inuyasha said you were a good person to talk to. I need advice about my girlfriend.' I felt _really_ fucking special." She sipped her beverage. "It's just as well. I don't think I'm ready to date yet after all."

"Why not? And why did you stop in the first place?" While not disappointed that her evening out had gone poorly, he didn't want her to close that door yet.

Kagome was silent, then sighed raggedly. "I've got trust issues. Related not so much to the stalking and assault, but more to the depression afterward. I don't have a problem with other people; it's trusting myself that I find impossible sometimes." She banished the sadness from her face. "Now, tell me something about yourself. Whenever we are together, I do all the talking. It's your turn."

He stared into her open, pretty face, and detected a hint of coquettishness. "What do you wish to know, Kagome?" he asked matching her mildly flirtatious tone.

"Well, I already know you are intelligent and reserved and work too much…what do you do for fun?"

"I actually enjoy my work a great deal, but apart from that, I play racquetball when I can fit it into my schedule and practice at the Kamae Kendo Club three times a week."

"Kendo? Interesting. How long have you been doing that?" She seemed impressed.

"I started when I was a junior at Harvard, so twelve years. It was difficult at first; I had been a fencer for years, and though both are sword fighting arts, the techniques are quite different, and it took me a while to unlearn moves that had become instinctual."

"Fencing?" she said, surprised. "Oh yeah! I keep forgetting that you went to an East Coast prep school." Kicking off her sandals, she got more comfortable, scooting a little closer. "Okay. What was the last movie you saw on the big screen? Mine was _The Simpsons Movie_."

He searched his memory. "Probably the last movie I saw was _Hero_, when I was in Japan for business several years ago."

"So you must be pretty fluent to see a movie in the language."

He smiled softly, happy with their growing rapport. "It's not the most dialogue-heavy movie. I know enough to get by."

Kagome squirmed with excitement. "How do you say…'your place or mine, hot stuff?' in Japanese?"

"That wasn't covered in my Japanese for Business classes," he frowned, wishing he knew.

"Huh…seems pretty essential to me," she giggled. "What's your favorite type of food?"

Back to neutral territory. "Toss-up between Korean and Thai."

"Ooo, you like spicy!" Kagome enthused at the discovery. "What was the last book you read? Mine was _Deathly Hallows_. Isn't this fun!"

He had to admit, he was enjoying her company very much. "_The World Is Flat_, by Thomas Friedman."

Kagome curled her lip in mild distaste. "A non-fiction book about globalization. Nowhere near as fun as _Hero_ in Japanese. That reminds me…I'm the moving force behind a film appreciation group that I need to get rolling again. It understandably got put on hiatus in May. Anyway…what's your favorite sex position?" She smacked her forehead. "I swore I wasn't going to do that to you anymore. Sorry," she apologized. "I need to keep reminding myself that you're not Inuyasha…or Miroku or Jak. I guess I just miss him, but I'm glad we are becoming friends. And I'm trying to be more aware of your Puritanical sensibilities."

"Puritanical, I am?" he asked with a wicked glint in his eye, sorely tempted to show her exactly where his sensibilities lay.

"Eeek! Teasing!" she laughed, moving away. "Goddam, time to stop drinking. I've got to take Rin to the dentist tomorrow morning. School starts back up next week, and I want get all the practical stuff squared away before that. Do you mind if we coordinate schedules soon?"

He became serious again. "My parents will be back on Saturday, and we can do it then. I need to tell you though, I'm going out of the country soon for two weeks."

"Oh?" she said, sobering quickly. "Where are you going?"

"Singapore. I have an investment opportunity to look into. The family's real estate and domestic financial holdings are extensive, but I feel we need to diversify into international markets. I'm already involved in Tokyo and India, now Singapore. If it pans out, I'll have to go minimally one more time. And that means I'll be twice as busy at the office when I'm stateside. I'll help as much as I can, but I'm afraid you won't be able to rely as heavily on me for help. At least for the next two months."

Kagome felt inexplicably sad. "Rin will miss you. So will I. We will miss you."

He watched her, as emotions flickered across her lovely features, pooling in her deep brown eyes. "I'll miss you too. Both of you."

They finished their drinks, and she saw him to the door.

"If you have any Post Traumatic Stress from Candy Land and Bath Time, Sango is an excellent therapist. She'd be happy to help." Kagome returned to her gentle, teasing familiarity.

He recalled Sango's interest in Kagome's dating life and her quiet attention directed at him when Kagome made her announcement at the picnic and had an idea. Sesshoumaru got a wonderful, awful idea. "Goodnight, Kagome." He walked back to the manor confidently, plotting.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Also no claim to Adventures in Babysitting, Planned Parenthood, Candy Land or any of its characters, Dora the Explorer, Bushmills, L'Occitane, Burt's Bees, The Simpsons Movie, Hero, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century, or any Dr. Seuss lines . Thank you for reading! _


	19. Advice, Healing, and Help With Dishes

Sango stirred her coffee and paged through copious notes, trying to organize before her next appointment. She had just gotten off the phone with Kagome, who was in the waiting room of Rin's dentist and feeling especially chatty. After hearing that her date was more interested in her as a female source of advice, Sango was expecting to get an earful of boo-hooing, but instead Kagome only wanted to talk about Sesshoumaru. Of course she stubbornly ignored Sango's statement that she was obviously crushing on him, insisting that they were only friends. It made Sango wish she could reach through the phone and throttle her.

Her office line beeped and the receptionist announced, "Ms. Mori, you're ten o'clock is here." The appointment, a consultation, was a last minute addition, and she hoped it wouldn't take too long. "Fair warning…he's really, _really_ attractive."

A moment later Sango looked up to see a tall, white-haired, really, _really_ attractive man enter. "Sesshoumaru? Why are…are you my ten o'clock?" He was the last person she would expect to see in her office. "What are you doing here?"

Sesshoumaru approached and replied, voice cool and direct, "I want to talk to you, and I thought this would be the easiest way to avoid Kagome finding out."

She startled with confusion and suspicion, and, trying to keep from blushing like a school girl at his compelling presence and the way he filled the small room, busily shuffled papers. "Oh?" She motioned for him to take a seat. "And what is it that you wish to say that precludes Kagome?"

"I want to know what happened to her. This reluctance to date…why? She told me about the assault and PTSD. I know that has something to do with it, but I also know she had an active sex life for at least a few years afterward, and so there must be something else."

"Why do you want to know?" She needed to hear that his interest was real and not just her imagination.

They locked eyes. "I'll be frank. I enjoy her company and find her attractive. I want to learn the rest of her history, and she is remarkably reticent on the subject for one who is so otherwise willing to share personal details."

Sango steeled herself, refusing to be intimidated. "I hate the No Men thing as much as anyone, but I also understand the reasoning behind it and am extremely protective of her. How do I know that you aren't just going to use her?"

He quirked a brow knowingly. "Let's be honest, Sango. That wall with which she surrounds herself is begging to be breeched. If I wanted to merely seduce her I'd have done so already. My intentions are entirely honorable."

Sango felt she was about to become included in a conspiracy and happily pushed away any initial misgivings. "I'll help you…but you realize Kagome will have my head if she finds out. I need your word that this stays between us."

"You have it."

After Sango had gotten him a cup of coffee, she sat back down and sighed, praying she was doing the right thing. "As long as I've known Kagome, she's always fearlessly embraced her sexuality," she began. "Even the first few years of college, when most of us were train wrecks waiting to happen, Kagome had an honest, healthy attitude about sex." Sango paused and thoughtfully sipped her coffee. "I don't know how much she told you about the criminal trial. The defense wanted to paint a scenario that they were involved in a relationship consisting of consensual rough sex and that the events of that night were just an accident. They interviewed a bunch of her past partners and dug up all kinds of dirt, and Kagome was terrified they would find pictures of Kikyou, who was a part of the local BDSM scene at the time, and try to say they were pictures of her. During the period it took for the trial court to review the motion _in_ _limine_—listen to me…can you tell I'm married to a lawyer?—during that time, she went to pieces. The idea that they would take such a vital, vibrant part of her and twist it and lie about it and use it to possibly excuse someone who practically killed her…had her scared beyond belief."

"Justifiably," Sesshoumaru said, feeling his anger rise.

"Fortunately the trial judge determined that such evidence, even though she wasn't the victim of sexual assault, would fall under the Rape Shield Statutes and ruled it inadmissible. Afterward…I still feel guilty that I didn't see the signs more clearly. I was thoroughly distracted by grad school and wedding planning, and though we all knew something was wrong, Kagome could fake Cheerful expertly." Sango shook her head sadly, recounting Kagome's slide into rock bottom. "Kikyou knew a therapist, a gay, ex-priest heavily into bondage, and he helped Kagome work through a lot of the feelings of doubt and shame that the trial had imprinted on her…feelings that weren't part of her psyche before. Nine months or so later she had clawed her way out of depression and, after a few hesitant baby-steps, embarked on a long series of one-night-stands and experimentation and very short, very intense relationships that both parties knew would burn out after a week or two. Inuyasha and I were at first worried she was engaging in risky, self-destructive behavior, but Kikyou—the woman just knew her sister so well—recognized the truth. Kagome was reclaiming herself, her sexuality, but on her terms. She purposely chose for partners people who would never offer any kind of commitment, short term or long term. By not having to take any chances emotionally or spiritually, by not getting too close, she was protecting herself. Eventually Kikyou convinced us that Kagome knew what she was doing—taking back control of her life in a way she could manage at the time…and she was right. Kagome certainly wasn't lying to herself about shallowness of her relationships, and she was a condom fanatic."

Sango watched Sesshoumaru's reaction for a moment, checking that he wasn't taking it too negatively. Once satisfied, she continued. "This went on for a few years, and Kagome began to feel like she was ready for something deeper. She was doing an art fair and met a cardiologist…wealthy, successful, attractive, polite. In short he was the man mothers envision when fantasizing about sons-in-law, the exact opposite of the guys she had been with. He wined her and dined her, but things never progressed beyond hand-holding and the making out stage. Kagome thought he was being chivalrous, but the reason was much less romantic. Dr. Hojo was a boob man. He had a…tit-fucking fetish. One night he confessed that, though he really liked her as a person, her body didn't turn him on. But, he offered, he would pay for her to get breast implants…said he knew a plastic surgeon who owed him a favor."

Sesshoumaru, who had long been of the opinion that Kagome's legs were incomparable, looked at Sango with disbelief. "And what happened?"

"You know what she looks like. She's gorgeous the way she is, and besides that, with her slender build a huge rack would look ridiculous. Kagome's not the type to modify her body to please a man, so she declined and never saw him again. I would have killed the jerk, but Kagome just said she was glad he was finally honest with her, and besides that, she's very non-judgmental about other people's kinks. Unfortunately though, the whole thing left her pretty shaken. She liked him enough and wasn't necessarily _that_ upset about his rejection, but it still hurt and all the fears about sliding back into depression returned. 'What will happen when I get dumped by someone I really care about?' was her reasoning." Sango laughed softly. "Back when we were freshmen, Kagome and Kikyou joked that they were the President and CEO of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. She never saw her chest size as a negative quality, but suddenly it was, bringing up a lot of insecurities about her sexuality from the trial. She decided that dating wasn't worth the fuss and potential heart ache, so she swore off men forever and began amassing her very impressive dildo collection." If Kagome ever finds out about this, she thought, I'll need to enroll in the witness protection program.

"So that's the reason? She's afraid to trust someone?"

"I think it's more complicated than that. She's not afraid of rejection; she's afraid of her reaction to rejection. She's terrified of ever feeling again like she did after the trial. I really can't blame her, but I do think she's ready to move on, and she's just using the not needing a man thing as an excuse to avoid taking a chance on herself. Kagome's the most self-aware person I know, except on this issue. She's so deeply in denial…she's convinced herself that she has no interest in you beyond friendship."

Amber eyes narrowed at the implication. "And how do you know that is not in fact the extent of her interest?"

"I'm not stupid," Sango smirked.

He felt slightly more at ease. "So what do you suggest?"

"I hope you're patient."

"Not especially." In the world of real estate acquisition he excelled at waiting, knowing preternaturally the perfect moment to strike. In his personal life however, he was unaccustomed to having his wants and needs unfulfilled. "I'm leaving the country on Sunday for two weeks."

"You'll want to wait until you get back," Sango advised. "I know she's attracted to you, and if you tried to get her in bed I doubt she'd put up much of a fight, but then while you were away she'd come up with five hundred reasons why it was a mistake and should never happen again. No…she'll need immediate and frequent reinforcement to force her to get outside of her head. Take your time and tread gently; she'll come around."

Though not the worst news he'd ever heard, Sesshoumaru wasn't pleased. He was a man of action and disliked the idea of keeping the status quo for the better part of two months.

XxXxX

As he sped toward the Taisho mansion, Sesshoumaru pondered Sango's words and advice. He still had trouble fathoming a healthy, heterosexual adult male who deemed Kagome unsexy, but then he had always been more captivated by long, shapely legs, and Kagome's were perfect according to his criteria. The new details of her history didn't really change his picture of her; rather than feel pity, he judged her an interesting, alluring challenge. If the trip abroad wasn't so important, he would have actually considered postponing it. He turned into the driveway and saw Kagome walking the path to the guest house, clumsily juggling three grocery bags and keys.

He parked the car near her and grabbed a bag, just before it fell to the ground. "You can make more the one trip, you know," he said, his tone absent condemnation, but rich with the teasing she so often directed at him.

She laughed her thanks. "My hero!" Once they were in and bags deposited on the kitchen counter, Oberon, splitting his time between the two of them, received his greeting. "I thought it would be nice if Rin and I and you and your parents could all have dinner together tomorrow evening…before you have to leave. I've already talked to your mom and she said they don't already have plans. _Please_ tell me you can come! I would have cleared it with you first, but I was running around all day and my cell phone lost power. I'm making Italian," she added, hoping it would convince him.

"That would be…very nice," he said with a small smile. Having dinner with Kagome and Rin sounded like the ideal way to spend his last evening at home. Even the addition of his parents to the party didn't detract from the anticipated pleasantness. His father had been complaining much less in recent weeks and was positively giddy at the prospect of Sesshoumaru's trip and the opportunity to diversify their investments; they were both of the opinion that the corporation was too heavily reliant on real property.

Relief softened and gladdened her features. "Oh Yay!" she squealed, squeezing his arm. "Will you tell your mom we'll have appetizers at five thirty and sit down for dinner at six? I hope that's not too early…with school starting I need to get Rin used to being asleep by eight. She's turned into quite the little night owl this summer…up past nine if I let her."

"That will work fine," Sesshoumaru nodded, recalling his schedule. "I should be done packing by then. International travel always has so many more issues to take into consideration."

"Is your flight early?" she asked.

"Very. I arranged for a car and driver to arrive at quarter to five."

Kagome winced. "Four forty-five? That's the most painful thing I've ever heard." She shuddered, banishing the notion of waking up at a time that she frequently was just going to bed. "Oh, I need to warn you about something. I told Rin that you were taking a trip and would be gone for a little while, and she didn't handle it well…that fear of abandonment I mentioned. I showed her on a globe where you were going and reassured her that you were coming back, and she calmed down a lot, but expect more than the garden variety clinginess." She began to unpack groceries.

"As long as the clinginess is not accompanied by another tantrum, I think I'll survive." He watched her as she took out at least a dozen Republic of Tea of canisters, including several varieties of green, black, decaffeinated, and herbal teas.

"It was on sale," she commented, noting his dubious countenance. "Would you like to stay for a cup of tea? As you can see, I've got plenty."

He hated to decline the invitation. "I would, but I need to get to work. In addition to the details of the trip, preparation includes ensuring that things function smoothly here while I'm gone. Our latest luxury hotel is scheduled to open in half a year, but problems keep cropping up." He made no move to leave. "You must be getting along well with my father. He's stopped referring to you as 'that Higurashi woman'," he said pointedly.

Kagome grinned. "Every time I bring Rin over to spend the night, we end up playing cribbage for at least two hours. I like your dad, despite all his best efforts to the contrary. It's like there's a Crabby Old Man Award out there that he's dying to win. But we have fun; he's really quite cuddly beneath that sardonic façade…and he's told me a few funny stories about Yasha that I never knew. Stuff from when you two were really young."

Sesshoumaru smirked, wondering what his father's reaction would be at hearing the word 'cuddly' applied to him, then became serious. "I should thank you, Kagome. My family has a tendency to indulge in unhealthy levels of silence, melodrama, and guilt. You've helped my parents come to a great deal of peace regarding my brother's death."

She was touched, and the familiar lump in her throat rose instantly. "I think where ever he is, Inuyasha's thankful too," she said, voice quavering.

He nodded, still somewhat uncomfortable with her raw displays of emotion. "I should go. There are several loose ends that I must see to before the business day is over. Five thirty, you said?"

"Fifty thirty," she answered.

He moved his car into the garage and entered the house, to find his parents in the kitchen. His mother was sitting in his father's lap, arms around his neck, and they were laughing together—the whole scene was an unprecedented occurrence. Thankfully he excelled at unflappability and didn't flinch.

"Sesshoumaru, darling," his mother said warmly, not moving an inch. "Have you spoken with Kagome? She's—"

"Yes, Mother," Sesshoumaru interrupted, tickled by his father's attempt at pretending he hadn't been caught acting like a teenager. "She'd like us there at five thirty."

Mr. Taisho rose abruptly, depositing his disappointed wife on the floor and nonchalantly said, "Sesshoumaru, I'd like to go over a few things about the contract disputes before you leave. Come to my study in an hour." He tried to ignore his son's obvious amusement. "That dog had better behave himself. You know I don't like animals. We'll walk over to Kagome's house together tomorrow, but now I've got to return some phone calls."

Rose Taisho watched them leave. Still running away, but without the deliberate tension. _Kagome's_ house. Not the _guest_ house. The label did not escape her, and she was truly, completely happy for the first time that she could remember. The dark cloud of Inuyasha's death had lifted enough that she could breathe, made possible by the changes in her husband and son and the child next door. And she knew she had Kagome to thank for all of it.

XxXxX

At five thirty sharp Rin, beaming beatifically, opened the door to the three Taishos, who were bearing a bottle of Chianti Classico and a bouquet of Asiatic and Oriental lilies. "Hi!" she sang. "Is that for me?" Her eyes were bright and wide at the sight of the colorful flowers.

Rose looked down permissively at her granddaughter. "Not the most polite greeting I've ever received, but it will do." She knelt down to the girl's level. "These, dear, are for you and Kagome as a token of our appreciation for the dinner tonight. Now, you should invite us in."

"Why?" Rin asked, somewhat confused at the formality. "Are you vampires or something?"

Kagome swooped in, snickering guiltily. "Ahh…Inuyasha's fascination with monster movies…the gift that keeps on giving. Please, come in." Kagome accepted the flowers and bottle with gratitude, commenting that the wine would be lovely with the first course, to be served shortly. Rin ushered the guests into the living room and related her trip to the dentist the day before, glowing about the verdict of no cavities. After a few minutes Kagome returned, first with four glasses and the now-opened bottle, and a minute later with a tray of bruschetta.

"I helped Kagome make the bread," Rin said, daintily lifting a piece, careful not to spill any of the tomato topping. "I put the slices on a pan and rubbed them with garlic and brushed oil on them."

"My good little girl," Kagome said. She watched nervously as the dog trotted over and slowly approached Mr. Taisho. A newcomer in the house, even one with apparent permission, was to be treated with caution. Mr. Taisho eyed the large, black beast with distaste; dogs, in his opinion, were best enjoyed by others. Certainly not by him, indoors, around food. As if on cue, Oberon wagged a few times, nudged Sesshoumaru affectionately, then went back to Kagome and stood loyally at her side. Kagome scratched behind his ears proudly; he had passed the test and would be allowed to remain a member of the dinner party, albeit one not actually allowed to eat or imbibe.

Kagome socialized and answered Mrs. Taisho's questions about her art for a few minutes, then went back into the kitchen to take the Stuffed Eggplant from the oven and sprinkle it with grated Pecorino, aglow at hearing Rin politely ask Sesshoumaru if she could sit next to him at dinner.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru pulled the covers back so Rin could climb into bed. As the evening wore on and bedtime approached, his niece's anxious sadness overtook her normally cheerful disposition, and now she was literally dragging her feet. "Rin," he said firmly, heeding Kagome's advice to not be a doormat, "it's late, and you need to get into bed." She complied, but with teary puppy dog eyes that he knew were not contrived and tugged on his instinct to offer comfort.

She lay down and sought refuge in her pillow. Her voice was muffled, "I'm afraid you won't come back."

"Don't say such foolish things." He pulled the child into his lap. "Is it because of your parents?"

She nodded, not daring to look at him.

"Rin," he commanded gently, prompting her to raise her face. "I will be back; I promise. But while I'm gone, I'll send you emails about my trip and your aunt can read them to you."

Rin was still sad, and she remembered Kagome's strict admonition that she may not urge him to stay. "But you're gonna miss my first day of school."

He smoothed her hair away from her face. "I'll tell Kagome to take lots of pictures, and we can look at them together when I return. And this year I will spend as much time in your classroom as I can."

This brightened her up a little. The children who were lucky enough to have parents or other caregivers with flexible schedules to allow them to help in the classroom were looked on with envy. She snuggled in his arms, and, though she hated for him to go, he made her feel safe and his reassuring words her gave her confidence that he would be back, just like he said. She crawled off his lap and lay back down. After he covered her and tucked her in, she yawned and asked, "Will you stay here until I fall asleep? I'll try not to take long."

Sesshoumaru understood what Kagome had said about consistency in not capitulating to the girl's whims, but he decided this time he could make an exception. "Would you like me to read to you?"

"No, just sit next to me," Rin mumbled, already fast approaching sleep.

XxXxX

"Well," Kagome announced, returning to the living room with a fresh bottle of wine, after clearing the table of dessert plates and the leftover cannoli, "hopefully bedtime goes okay. I have a feeling Rin's going to have him wrapped around her finger without even trying."

Mr. Taisho and Kagome sat, while Mrs. Taisho examined a woven wall hanging. "This is lovely," she commented. Moving on to a series of framed black and white photographs of pregnant Kikyou, she nodded at the composition appreciatively, then turned and asked, "Kagome, I hope I'm not being too forward, but do you have any photo albums with pictures of Inuyasha? I understand if you have that kind of thing in storage, but Ken and I would be very grateful if you would share whatever you have available."

Kagome stood and went to a bookcase. "The bulk of it is in storage…I was a very prolific photographer once upon a time. I made sure not to pack up the things Rin would want easy access to, though." She pulled out a thick book; the front and back covers were hand-hammered copper and had red silk bindings. "Their wedding album. I commissioned the metal from an artist friend and bound it myself. The silk was leftover from Kikyou's dress. She wanted a unique wedding and decided the color red was more fitting than white, along with a female…me…Best Man. Really the whole event was unusual. They didn't have much money and decided the little they did would be better spent on a nice honeymoon, so we skipped the caterer and had a pot-luck instead." She sat back down and was a little surprised at the rather shocked expressions of the Taishos; she had always assumed Sesshoumaru had told them the wedding of their younger son was on a shoestring budget and flew in the face of tradition.

She opened the book, and the first picture was of Kikyou, her face delicate against the sun filtering through the window in the background, looking over her shoulder at Sango, who was apparently zipping the dress. Kagome gasped sharply at the image of her dead sister. When she photographed Kikyou, someone who looked so like her, she always tried to capture an angle that she herself couldn't easily see in a mirror—a profile, a downward cast of the eyes, a view from behind. Her sister's calm strength and presence never failed to move her; she was an ideal subject. The facing photo was Kikyou and Sango, arms linked and looking askance at each other, appearing to the rest of the world that they shared a private joke, and Kagome felt her breath catch at remembrance of their carefree younger days.

"Your sister was beautiful," Rose said. "Where ever did she find such an exquisite dress?" Kikyou was wearing a scarlet silk strapless dress, with an asymmetric drop waist and full, gathered skirt and copper beads sewn in intricate patterns over the bodice. The same beads were threaded into her hair, making it sparkle in the sunlight.

"I made it…my first wedding gown," Kagome explained, shaking her head wearily. "I was in way over my head, but managed somehow at the last minute to pull it off. I was up the whole night before beading the damn thing. Kikyou had wanted a much simpler sheath dress, but I insisted on fancy, and she was prepared to kill me if I hadn't finished it."

Rose recovered after a moment and closed her open mouth; she had known Kagome was talented, but the style and craftsmanship of the dress was truly impressive. "My dear…artist, photographer, couturier…Sesshoumaru tells me you are gifted with a lovely singing voice, and this evening we've discovered you know your way around a kitchen. Is there anything you don't do well?"

Kagome, never really having considered herself anything much more than average, blushed from the praise and attention. "Uh…I can't manage my personal life very well."

Mr. Taisho snorted, "I can't comment on your personal life, but I'll add shrewd card player to my wife's litany of your accomplishments." This remark caused Kagome to redden even more deeply; he won almost every time they played, but she liked to think she posed a challenge to him.

The next photos were taken in the room where Inuyasha was getting ready; the whiskey bottles, ashtrays, and a large bong visible in the background were clear evidence that the scene was markedly different than the one taking place in the bridal dressing room. The first was Inuyasha and Miroku raising shot glasses in a toast, followed by several of Inuyasha and Kagome, arms around each other, laughing and crying.

"He looks very happy," Mrs. Taisho observed with a melancholy smile.

"Yeah, he knew what he wanted." Kagome had to choose her words carefully, knowing that they viewed their son's marriage to her sister as the worst mistake of his life, or at least they had at the time. "He missed you that day."

The following pages were of the casual ceremony and reception, held outdoors at a private garden. Inuyasha and Kikyou staring at each other in adoration, exchanging rings, kissing to make it official. Inuyasha and Kikyou—arms curled—sipping champagne, cutting cake, playfully shoving it in one another's face. Inuyasha and Kikyou dancing, holding hands as they watched the sun set, more kissing. Kagome turned the page, entranced with the memories, and was dragged back to the present moment by both Taishos bursting into laughter. The photo that had their attention was the two brothers, seated together. Inuyasha had his arm around Sesshoumaru and was wearing what could only be described as a shit-eating grin; Sesshoumaru was glaring daggers at his younger sibling, obviously displeased with the close proximity.

"How many times have we seen that, darling?" Mrs. Taisho giggled, momentarily forgetting her poise and reserve. She explained, "I couldn't tell you the number of pictures we have that are variations on that theme—Inuyasha acting a fool and Sesshoumaru wishing he was an only child. The trend began with Inuyasha's first birthday. He was strapped in a highchair, throwing cake, while Sesshoumaru patiently sat next to him, praying we would look away so he could perpetrate some sort of violence. It continued with each birthday and holiday. Always the distinct personalities of both brothers in stark contrast."

Kagome smiled gleefully, then turned the page and instantly teared up, her humor at seeing the relationship of the Taisho brothers, so perfectly displayed, replaced by a beautiful sadness. In front of her was a picture of Inuyasha and Kikyou, about to embark on their honeymoon, waving goodbye to their guests. To her it looked like a final farewell, and she struggled to keep her emotions in check.

"Kagome, thank you for showing us this," Ken said, closing the book and taking her hand. "Knowing our son was happy has made his death more bearable. And thank you for bringing Rin into our lives."

"You're very welcome," she replied earnestly, glad she could help bring some needed healing to her best friend's family.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru, satisfied that Rin would stay asleep, entered Kagome's living room to find both women embracing and tearfully laughing. His father looked at them with tender tolerance, rather than with the expected disdain, leaving him with the feeling he had walked into an alternate dimension. "Pity I never learned the lyrics for Kumbaya," he said dryly.

Rose wiped her eyes. "Sesshoumaru, I assume you've gotten that precious child off to Neverland. We were just reminiscing." She reached for her husband's hand. "Darling, we should be going back. Kagome, thank you for a delightful dinner and most pleasant evening. We hope to do it again soon."

Kagome accepted their thanks and watched as the couple bade Sesshoumaru goodnight and wished him a productive business trip and left, Ken's arm curled affectionately around his wife's waist.

"Do you think they're gonna go get busy?" Kagome asked rakishly.

Sesshoumaru frowned. His parents' sex life was an even less appealing topic of conversation than that of his brother, though seeing them together, so happy, gave him a contentment he had longed for as a child.

"Sorry," she cooed, teasing, "couldn't resist." The empty wine glasses and dishes in the sink refused to be ignored. "Time to clean up."

"Would you like some help," he offered, not ready to leave her warmth and honesty…and beautiful, perfect body.

She gaped, surprised. "Do you even know _how_ to do dishes?"

"Hmm…I think I remember that there's water and soap involved," he deadpanned. "I'm a quick study."

Kagome's laughter sparkled as he followed her into the kitchen. As the sink filled with hot water, she handed him a towel. "Any objections to opera?" Upon hearing none, the Vivaldi they had listened to during dinner was exchanged for a collection of Verdi and Puccini arias. Sesshoumaru uncorked the half-empty bottle of Sangiovese and refilled their glasses, watching her gracefully move around the kitchen and wondering how bad the fallout would be if he ignored Sango's suggestion of waiting and simply bent Kagome over the countertop and lifted her skirt. "What?" she asked, puzzled. "You're staring at me."

"Nothing."

They stood next to each other, washing stemware, knives, and pots and pans, comfortable silence interspersed with Kagome grilling him about the details of his upcoming trip and other travels.

"I've never been out of the country," she pouted, suddenly feeling unworldly and boring and was reminded that despite their new friendship, Sesshoumaru's life was very different from hers.

"Where would you like to go? If you could choose one place, what would it be?"

Kagome smiled; he was engaging her in conversation. "Umm…anywhere? Right now, listening to this music and drinking this wine, probably somewhere in Italy. Florence or Venice. What about you? Where you would go, purely for pleasure?"

Venice with you, he thought. "I would like to visit the Great Wall or the pyramids of Giza."

She was impressed, expecting something more glamorous. "Ooo exotic…I like the way you think, Sesshoumaru." She turned away abruptly; he was staring at her again.

"What are your plans for the next two weeks?" He sensed she was becoming shy and, remembering his conversation with Sango, hoped to keep their interaction casual and flowing.

"Well, Rin will start school, so I'll be volunteering at Haven, and I have a commission project to finish. And thank fucking god for that—it means getting paid. After that I've got a gallery show to prepare for. It's at the new place on Summit, the Franklin Gallery. A great opportunity, but I'm gonna be busy as shit…I have a few completed quilts and tapestries and several more that are near done, but none of them are showstoppers, so I've got assloads of new pieces in front of me. All good…I'll sleep sometime in November."

"I've not seen much of your work apart from what you've got displayed here at home. Will you show me another time…soon?"

His interest surprised her. She knew Mrs. Taisho was a collector and potential patron, but didn't realize he valued art. "I'd like that. I'll dig out my portfolio when you get back."

The dishes were clean and put away, the wine bottle empty. He could make a move or excuse himself.

She made the decision for him. "I hope you have a safe trip. It's not too late yet, so I think I might try to get a little work in on my column. Sometimes I do my best writing when I've been drinking." She felt her stomach lurch over her choice of words; apparently she was getting too complacent around him. "Did I say writing?" she tittered self-consciously. "I meant sewing. _Sewing_. A column…on a quilt."

He didn't understand why she was suddenly so flustered, but the brush-off was plain. "Goodnight, Kagome."

She walked him to the door and paused. Part of her wanted him to stay, but a larger, louder part told her she was playing with fire. Safety, as always, tipped the balance. "Goodnight. Have a good trip. See you when you get back." She hugged him quickly, trying to avoid awkwardness; they had developed an easy rhythm with each other, and she hated to see it go. He thanked her for the lovely evening and exited, leaving her to contemplate how much simpler it is to be close friends with a gorgeous man when he is married to your sister.

XxXxX

September had brought cooler temperatures, but Kagome still was drenched in sweat when she returned from her morning run with the dog. Rin had been back in school for almost two weeks, she felt like she worked nonstop, and taking a hot shower was the only thing on her agenda, the only thing that would make her feel human again after getting less than four hours sleep the night before. She turned on the water and critically examined her eyebrows, deciding tweezing could wait until tomorrow. Her plans at cleansing however were derailed when she tested the water; it wasn't even lukewarm. Something wasn't right.

She turned off the faucet and trudged down the steps to the small basement. "Holy shit!" she screamed at the sight that greeted her. Steaming water was pouring from the water heater, rapidly flooding the basement. She quickly tip-toed through the half-inch deep lake on the floor to the pipes, following them to find the water main. Once it was shut off, she ran upstairs and found her cell phone, anxious that Mrs. Taisho, currently at her riding lesson, wouldn't answer.

"Kagome?" Mrs. Taisho's voice at the other end sounded concerned. Kagome sighed with relief and explained that the water heater had sprung a major leak. After receiving assurances that Mr. Taisho would be notified to take care of the problem as soon as possible and that she was welcome to go into the main house to use a shower, Kagome grabbed some clean clothes and a towel and crossed the path to the Taisho mansion.

Kagome had been in the big house more times than she could count, but never alone. Anita, Mrs. Taisho had informed her, was currently out picking up dry cleaning and going to the grocery, and Kagome couldn't help but feel like a trespasser. She knew all the bedrooms were upstairs, but wasn't sure which one to take a shower in. Rin's had only a half-bath, and the idea of using the Taisho's bathroom seemed like a violation of privacy to her. She crept up the staircase and wandered down the hall, away from Rin's and the Taisho's bedrooms, thinking the guest rooms would be located in a different area. She opened a random door at the end of the corridor and hesitantly entered.

She found herself in a spacious, elegant suite, made bright by large leaded-glass windows. There was a leather sofa and matching arm chair, a glass-topped coffee table, and a cherry desk, all pieces in a style much more contemporary than the furnishings in the rest of the house. This was obviously not a guest room. She stepped up to the built-in bookcases and perused the many titles. The subject matter was a curious mixture of various schools of philosophy, history in general and Asian history specifically, and several different disciplines of martial arts. Kagome realized she was in Sesshoumaru's study, but couldn't force herself to leave. She had assumed his reading material would be boring books on business and finance, and, amazed at the unexpected diversity, wanted to know more. She moved over to the McIntosh stereo system and the largest collection of classical music CDs she'd ever seen, spanning centuries, with everything from Gregorian chants to Gorecki.

The urge to keep snooping was irresistible, and the large desk called to her Pick Me! The drawers housed the usual denizens—pens, calculator, stamps, files. She sat in the big comfy chair and saw that one of Rin's drawings of the girl and her uncle had been framed and was sitting on the desk next to a cypress bonsai in a shallow terra cotta container. "But where does he keep his porn," she whispered naughtily, opening the long middle drawer. In it was a picture of him and Inuyasha at the latter's high school graduation, both exhibiting the facial expressions so accurately described by Mrs. Taisho. There was also a picture of his parents, a picture of Rin, and a newspaper clipping of the accident that killed her sister and his brother. Closing it slowly, she lost the creepy fun of doing something forbidden, but couldn't quite pin down this new feeling that had taken its place.

She went into the neighboring room, Sesshoumaru's bedroom, the furniture therein of a similar contemporary design. The view through the wide windows showed the manicured lawn and gardens, and the guest house was also visible, leading her to wonder which window this was when she looked up from outside. She lay down on the king-sized bed and sighed. They had been in daily contact via the internet for the nearly two weeks he had been gone; each email began with a short, friendly message to Rin, followed by a lengthy one addressed to her, chronicling the non-business portions of his trip. His colorful representation of Singapore was vivid, using rich, imaginative language that made it seem like she was there and several times had her laughing out loud. She thought it interesting that a man who was such a minimal conversationalist wrote with such eloquence.

Then she understood what the earlier feeling was. She missed him. Not in the hot, raw way that she missed Inuyasha and Kikyou and her parents; not in the Gimme A Hug way she missed Rin when she was at school. She missed him quietly, calmly. Remembering the reason she was at the big house in the first place—to take a shower—she got up. Why not here? she decided. He's not coming home for a few more days; he'll never even know. She retrieved her clean clothes and towel from the study and went into the adjacent bathroom.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru paid the cab driver and entered his house, temper barely held in check. He had to cut his trip short a few days because a dispute over construction estimates was threatening the arena project yet again, and, though his underlings were competent, he really only trusted himself to strong arm the city council and straighten things out. That he had to leave suddenly, before matters in Singapore were completely finished, rankled. The flight back, marked by long delays, crowded airports, and crying babies, only made his mood worse, but his luggage being lost somewhere along the way seemed symbolic of the nightmarish last eighteen hours. And instead of taking a much needed nap, he only had enough time to change clothes before going to the office to prevent the implosion that was about to happen.

He walked into his bedroom and, hearing the shower, stopped short. The door was ajar so he pushed it open wider and looked into the steamy room. On the floor lay running shoes, shorts, tank top, and sports bra, next to a neat pile of folded clothes, and then he heard singing.

_You won't admit you love me and so  
How am I ever to know  
You only tell me  
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

Kagome, he realized, was taking a shower in his bathroom, and, though this left him extremely confused, his mood improved dramatically.

_A million times I ask you and then  
I ask you over again  
You only answer  
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

The water turned off, and a moment later the glass door opened and Kagome stepped out. She was wrapped in a pink Hello Kitty towel, her dark, wet hair clinging to face and shoulders. She kept singing as she looked in the cabinet under his sink and sniffed the contents of a bottle of body lotion.

_If you can't make your mind up  
We'll never get started  
And I don't want to wind up  
Being parted, brokenhearted  
So if you really love me, say "yes"  
But if you don't dear, confess,  
And please don't tell me  
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

Sesshoumaru watched as she put a foot on the edge of his sink and applied lotion to a long, toned leg. He was quite sure he'd never seen anything so incredibly sexy in all his life. She repeated the song while she did her other leg and arms, and he continued watching, feeling not a single second of guilt. It was _his_ bathroom, and after all the irritation he had recently been put through, he felt the universe owed him something. Even her voice was lush and sensual, and the lyrics of the song did not go unnoticed.

_He stepped into the room and put his hands on her hips. She jumped at the unexpected touch and spun around, eyes wide with shocked surprise. He placed a finger on her full, red lips to silence a protest, then traced along the edge of her jaw, stopping to brush the damp hair from her flushed skin. His hand continued down her slender throat, stroking and feeling her pulse race beneath his deft fingers. She leaned into him and twined her arms around his neck, neither caring that his clothes were getting wet. He drew her closer and covered her mouth with his own, just as he felt the towel fall to the floor and—_

"AAARGGGHHHH! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Kagome had wiped the fog from the mirror and saw him standing in the doorway. "GREAT SUFFERING GODS, YOU SCARED THE LIVING, BLEEDING FUCK OUT OF ME! ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME?"

Dammit she can ruin things, he thought. "You kiss Rin with that mouth?" was all he managed to get out before she started screaming again.

"JESUS BRICK-SHITTING CHRIST! WHAT THE IN THE BLESSED FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I'll remind you, I live here," he answered gruffly. "Please, for the love of god, stop screeching."

She calmed down a fraction. "Shit! Fuck! I thought you weren't supposed to be back until Sunday."

"There is an emergency at work that needs my attention." Even angry and exercising her foul mouth, she's undeniably attractive, he ruminated, wondering if the situation could be salvaged.

"The water heater burst," Kagome explained, then remembered she was clad only in a towel and saw that he had a rather large bulge in his pants; the ire returned instantly. Her eyes narrowed and her upper lip curled. "You…_PERVERT_!" she snarled. "HOW LONG were you FUCKING standing there?" She snatched up her clothes and ran out, blushing red and scowling murderously at him.

He closed his eyes, hoping he had time for a cold shower.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, nor can I lay claim to Republic of Tea, any locations in Peter Pan, McIntosh audio equipment, or the song Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps (or the original Spanish Quizas, Quizas, Quizas). Thank you all so much for reading this ridiculously long chapter. _


	20. Apologies and a Sick Little Girl

Sesshoumaru had just finished exchanging a series of emails with his legal department when he heard a muffled sound at his study door. "Come in," he said, expecting his mother; she was the only one who knocked so softly.

To his surprise, Kagome entered and marched up to his desk, eyes downcast. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she blurted out. "My yelling was rude and out of line. I acted like you were barging in on me in my home, when in truth, I was trespassing and you had every right to be there. The only excuse I can offer is that I'm completely and utterly overtired, and my brain wasn't functioning at its highest capacity." She looked up shyly. "Forgive me?"

He walked around the desk to stand next to her. "I'll accept your apology if you accept mine. I should have left you be." She was genuinely contrite, but he couldn't resist needling. "So you sing in the shower. What other secrets are you keeping?"

Oh…I pen a sex column, am incongruously petrified of intimacy, and hardly ever wear underwear, she thought. "If I told you, they wouldn't be secrets anymore." Her tone more than matched his teasing. "Can we start over, pretending I didn't totally yell at you like some kind of potty-mouthed lunatic?" she asked, grateful that they were resuming the rapport that had developed over the course of the summer. "Sesshoumaru, welcome home. I'm glad you're back. So sorry your trip had to be cut short. I hope the emergency isn't too terrible."

"Kagome, thank you. It's good to be home. The emergency has already been dealt with."

She smiled widely. "And you got to spend some time with Rin before your mom put her to bed?"

"Yes," he nodded. "She gave me the highlights of her first two weeks at school, complete with a list of who cried on the first day…other than you…told me all about her new teacher and what was packed in her lunch box. She was disappointed that I'll be busy all weekend, but I promised her that if I am able to finish catching up, I would drive her to school on Monday."

"Oh! Rin would _love_ that. She really missed you a lot." Kagome chewed on her lip self-consciously. "I missed you too." Their eyes met, and though he said nothing, she knew he meant it as well. "So…you've got quite an impressive assortment of classical music. You wouldn't mind if I came in someday and picked out of few CDs to burn? I'll put them right back; you'd never even know I was here."

Sesshoumaru raised a brow in amusement. "Oh? The last time you came in here unattended you ended up naked."

Kagome blushed and laughed lightly. "I thought we agreed to pretend that never happened."

"I don't recall agreeing to anything." The flush on her cheeks deepened, and he regretted the amount of work he had to do. "Are you still as busy as you indicated in your emails?"

"I finished my commission, a wall quilt for a family dentistry…kicked ass by the way, very sweet little whimsical tooth fairy thing. But yeah, I'm fucked. I started the pieces for my show at the end of next month and average about three hours sleep a night. It's overwhelming when I stop and think about it. So I try not to stop. Thank fucking god for caffeine."

"Haven't you asked for help with Rin?"

Kagome shook her head quickly. "Oh don't misunderstand! Your parents have been great. I just have a ton of pieces that I had to start from scratch. It's like this every time I have a show. The only difference is now I'm not nursing a chronic hangover." She pinched herself in a preemptive strike against blabber mode; lack of sleep completely turned off her already unreliable filter. "I need to get back to my studio…got a long night of cutting in front of me. I just came over to kiss Rin and apologize."

Their eyes met, silently acknowledging that they wanted to stay in each other's company and catch up, but work came first.

She turned to leave, then spun around as inspiration struck. "Hey! On Monday when you come to get Rin, come a half an hour early and have breakfast with us…or at least coffee." After two weeks apart she wanted to part with the reassurance that their friendship was certain and they would not merely be seeing each other in passing.

"I'd like that," he said as he watched her back away, smiling. He winced when she clumsily almost ran into the door jamb on her way out and went back to his desk, work a distraction from dwelling on how much more at home he felt with Kagome and Rin next door.

XxXxX

When Sesshoumaru came to the guest house to pick up Rin for school, Kagome's dog, patiently waiting in front of the door to be let back in, rose and greeted with him sleepily. "Did Kagome forget about you?" he asked as he scratched behind floppy ears, wondering at what point he started talking to animals out loud. He knocked briefly and entered, with just enough time to set down his laptop before he had to catch the brightly colored torpedo flying at him.

Rin screamed with delight as she was swooped up. She kissed him on the cheek. "See my pretty dress?" Sesshoumaru nodded appreciatively at the red and yellow sundress that brought out the child's coloring. "Kagome's acting kinda weird," she whispered in his ear.

He looked past the small dark head into the kitchen and saw Kagome flitting around, apparently making coffee, emptying the dishwasher, watering her windowsill herb garden simultaneously. She was dressed in the same jeans and tank top she had been wearing the day before and was singing along to The Clash, which played in the background. She grinned when she saw him walk toward her, carrying Rin.

"Good morning!" she announced. "Ohyouletthedogin! Thanks! Sorry Obi. Ihaven'tstartedbreakfastyet. Any requests?"

Sesshoumaru frowned at the run-on sentences and deep circles under her eyes, made even darker by her pale skin. "Just coffee is fine. Kagome…are you okay? You look like an end stage tuberculosis patient. How much sleep have you gotten?"

"I haven't been to bed yet," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I'm on a roll and didn't want to break my stride."

"Is that wise?" he asked dubiously.

"I'm _fine_. Just a little manic. I was cutting fabric all night. It was strips and squares with the rotary cutter…stuff I can do on auto pilot." She poured two cups of coffee. "Rin Rin, would you like French Toast for breakfast?"

Rin had woken up with a sore throat and nothing sounded very good to eat, but she kept her mouth shut, not wanting to jeopardize her uncle taking her to school. Kagome was not usually an alarmist when it came to sniffles, but Rin was unsure of her sore throat policy and was unwilling to take a chance. "Can I have cold cereal instead?" Sesshoumaru deposited her on a tall stool at the counter, as Kagome got a bowl and cereal from the cupboard. "Uncle Sesshoumaru, can you stay at my school for a little while? I can show you Cards and Counters and read to you."

Sesshoumaru had cleared his early morning schedule so he wouldn't have to rush out as soon as he dropped her off. "I can only stay for an hour this morning, but I am trying to set aside some time to have lunch with you one day this week."

Rin beamed at her good fortune. Inuyasha had been a favorite among both children and teachers at Haven Montessori, and though she couldn't exactly picture her uncle engaging Shippou in the relentless teasing the boy had so often enjoyed with her father, she was sure that she would be able extract some valuable playground time from him. Kagome set a bowl of Cheerios in front of her and put the milk in the pantry and the cereal box in the refrigerator. Rin and Sesshoumaru exchanged glances. His critical expression reminded her so much of her father's goofy mocking of Kagome that she almost spit her mouthful of food out with joy. She managed to swallow, then burst into riotous giggles. It was contagious; Sesshoumaru laughed as well.

"What?" Kagome asked in confusion. When she realized what she had done, she smiled sheepishly and corrected her mistake. "Maybe I shouldn't wait until this afternoon to take a nap. Too bad I've consumed three pots of coffee since midnight."

XxXxX

Kagome surveyed her studio with satisfaction. She had been working for over twelve hours straight and now had four wall quilts designed, fabric cut, and pieces organized into boxes and trays. The watercolor quilts were of the same forest scene, each with different color combinations depicting the four seasons. She finished sweeping the scraps into a pile and sighed heavily. It was almost lunch time, but she was so tired, sleep was the priority. "Oberon?" The dog raised his head, hopeful it was now time for a run. "Wanna take a nap?" Not exactly the word he wanted to hear, but he followed Kagome into her room anyway. She was about to undress when her cell phone rang. It was Rin's school.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kagome, this is Angela at Haven. Rin is complaining of a sore throat and headache."

"Oh, poor baby. Is she there?"

"Yes, one moment."

"Kagome?" Rin's voice sounded small. "I don't feel good."

"Hey hon. Do you want me to come get you?" Kagome could hear the girl beginning to sob. "Sweetie, I'll be there as soon as I can. You sit tight."

"Okay," Rin said, sniffling.

Kagome hung up and sank numbly onto the bed. Sick-Rin had always been her sister's territory. Calm, accomplished Kikyou, who already had good instincts when it came to her daughter, possessed a preternatural gift at comforting the sick child. Kagome, and even Inuyasha, had tended to steer clear until the worst was over—fever broken, tummy less upset, nose not congested. She had no experience dealing with anyone else's illness and suddenly, for the first time since the car accident that took her sister and brother-in-law, Kagome felt completely helpless. "What would Kikyou do?" she asked the dog. He wagged, stretched, and lay down, resigned to not getting any exercise for the time being. "Well she wouldn't panic, so neither will I," she said with a confidence she didn't feel. Kagome had been the loving aunt in their time of grief and managed to morph into competent parent over the course of the summer, taking care of the day to day minutia, setting limits, wiping tears. Now she felt like her love and competence were truly being tested.

XxXxX

Sitting on the edge of Rin's bed and hovering like a guardian angel, Kagome smoothed sweat-damp black tendrils from the girl's fiery forehead and looked at the Kit-Cat clock on the wall. It was after five, she noted, relieved. Sesshoumaru should be getting home any minute.

"Kagome," Rin mumbled, stirring out of fitful dreams.

"Right here, honey." Kagome had been sitting vigilant next to her niece for the past two hours. She had picked Rin up from school and, after learning that three children were absent that day because of strep throat, drove straight to the pediatrician. In the time it had taken to get to the doctor, the long wait for an opening, and then the short wait for the results of the rapid strep test, Rin had gone from moaning and complaining to miserable and listless. And Kagome's anxiety level grew as Rin's condition worsened. She phoned in the prescription to the pharmacy, but, only wanting to get Rin home and in bed, called Sesshoumaru and asked him to pick up the antibiotics on his way back from the office.

"I want Mommy."

Kagome scooted down on the bed and put her arm around the tiny, fevered body. "I know." She was reminded of the all times after her parents died, through sickness and boyfriend problems, that she longed for her mother's straightforward, no nonsense reassurance and advice. At those times she realized how much alike her mother and sister had been—both quiet and strong, confident and solid to her spontaneity and fire. "She's still here with us though, as long as we remember her, she'll always be near." Kagome gathered her motherless niece closer and held her tightly, wishing she could shield her from present and future pain, telling herself to stay strong and not cry. "When you are feeling a little better, I'll tell you a story about when we were girls."

The dog on the floor perked up his ears, followed by the sound of the front door opening. A moment later Sesshoumaru walked into the room, looking to Kagome like a savior in tailored super 140s wool.

"How is she?" he asked and handed Kagome the bag from the pharmacy.

"The ibuprofen brought her fever down some; it's only one hundred one now. She still is burning up though."

Sesshoumaru sat on the other side of the bed while Kagome got up and read the dosage information on the bottle of amoxicillin. "I finally got the rest of my luggage back from the airport today," he said, stroking Rin's hair, alarmed at the heat radiating from her. "In one of the suitcases I have a present for you." Rin smiled weakly and didn't open her eyes, causing Sesshoumaru to frown with concern. She seemed like a completely different child compared to the normally vibrant, energetic one he knew.

"Okay, sweetie," Kagome said, "you're going to have to sit up a little." Sesshoumaru helped her raised her head, and Kagome put the small plastic measuring cup to her lips. Rin drank a little, but grimaced at the sweet, medicinal taste. "All of it, hon." Once emptied, Kagome gave her a drink of ice water.

"It hurts to swallow," she whimpered.

Kagome tucked her in and kissed a flushed cheek. "You go back to sleep. At this time tomorrow you'll feel a lot better."

Once satisfied Rin was sleeping again and wouldn't need anything, the two adults looked at each other, wordlessly communicating their common distress. They went into the kitchen.

"Thanks for picking up the prescription and getting the yogurt," Kagome said as she put the items in the refrigerator, trying to stay in control of her emotions. "She doesn't have any appetite right now, but I know when she wakes up she'll be starving…though the sore throat will make it difficult to eat. Thank god I've got some juice pops in the freezer."

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome go through the motions. He knew by the crease in her brow that she was tense, but the uncharacteristic slump in her shoulders and slow, distracted movements as she tidied the counter told him that she hadn't napped yet that day.

"How are _you_?"

"I'm fine," she answered with forced perkiness.

"Don't lie, Kagome. You look like shit."

She scowled at his bluntness and looked at her reflection on the side of the stainless steel toaster. Even in the fuzzy image she could tell her cheeks were sunken, eyes red and puffy. "Running on fumes. I feel like I've entered some Bizarro World were the norm is Rin is sick and I am not allowed to sleep."

"Kagome, go lie down. You aren't doing either of you any favors by exhausting yourself; it will just make you more vulnerable to getting sick."

"I don't think I can sleep until her temperature is closer to normal." She rubbed her lower back tiredly. "Seeing her like that…I've always felt protective of her, but this illness is different. It's wakened some deeply buried mother bear instinct I didn't know I possessed. I think my sister acquired it automatically when she gave birth. I'm still learning what it all means—to be have someone so dependent on you is a scary feeling. And humbling." Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know what my problem is," she said as she wiped angrily at her eyes. "It's just strep, but I feel like I would willingly die to make her feel better."

Sesshoumaru gently pulled her against him and let her cry for a minute. "We all feel that way about her, Kagome. You aren't alone in this." He was glad to be able to offer some solace, but hated the unaccustomed feeling of inadequacy he was experiencing.

She nodded and yawned. "Thanks. I know, but she's my responsibility," she said stepping back. "And don't worry about me. I won't get sick; I can't afford to. Doctor bills are exactly what I don't need right now."

"Don't you have health insurance?" he asked, mildly irritated at her stubbornness and missing her in his arms.

"God no! Do you know how high the premiums are for women of childbearing age? One of the joys of self-employment, other the love/hate relationship with my boss, is insurance plans, even without the maternity rider, are pretty much unaffordable. I go to Planned Parenthood once a year for a well-woman visit and keep my fingers crossed that I stay healthy."

Her words did nothing to decrease his unease over situation; he knew she would scoff at him, but he thought that she needed to be taken care of as much as Rin. "I need to return some emails and I have a meeting tonight. I'll stop by later to see if you need anything."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"And don't hesitate to call."

"I won't. I should get back to Rin. Thanks," she smiled. "For everything."

Kagome grabbed her laptop on her way back to Rin's room, deciding that she would take a break from work. She had some designing to do for the next phase of preparation for her show, but the light in the bedroom wasn't very good and a head start on her column was never a bad thing. Once satisfied that Rin was sleeping peacefully, she settled herself on the edge of her bed and opened her inbox.

_Dear Scarlet, I am the only man who works in a small office—all my coworkers are women. A couple months ago this MILF in the office next to mine came in during lunch, got to her knees, and gave me head. A few days later the same thing happened, but with a different chick. Then the first one came back with the receptionist and we had a three-some in the break room. First I screwed the secretary while she ate out the MILF, and then they played with each other's boobs while I got hard again. Then they took turns sucking my cock. Did I mention all these ladies are super hot? Now it happens at least once a week. My problem is: the only woman left in the office who I haven't fucked yet is my boss. Should I be worried about my job? Would it be worse to fuck her too or tell her that it isn't appropriate? Signed, Banging in the Break Room_

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Loser." Typically she could spot a fake letter a mile off, but this one was so obvious it practically jumped up and down screaming Unemployed Masturbator at her. NEXT

_Dear Scarlet, I am a woman in my early forties. My husband and I divorced amicably a few years ago, and now I have a girlfriend—a much younger woman in her twenties. She is the first woman I've been with, and I'm her second. She is wonderful, smart, and we have a lot of fun together. Unfortunately we do not see eye to eye about sex. I have tried several times to bring toys into the picture, not like a giant ten-inch dildo or anything, just some harmless egg vibrators or an angled g-spot stimulator. She says my desire to be penetrated means I'm not really over my ex and I'm not really a lesbian. I won't lie and say I never fantasize about cocks, but I really like this person and the sex we have. I just would love to expand her horizons. I'm worried though about freaking her out—she's never been with a man and has never inserted anything vaginally larger than a couple fingers or a tampon. Is she right when she says that I'm really het at heart and going through a post-divorce dyke phase? Are there some girl-on-girl rules that I'm breaking? Am I doing it wrong? Signed, Toy Lover_

_Dear Lover, there is no wrong way to have sex. The right way is whatever feels good, which is too individualized and personal to conform to a set of rules. Not all lesbians use dildoes; not all gay men like anal intercourse. Perhaps your girlfriend is intimidated by the differences in your ages and your sexual history and hopes to even the playing field by manipulating you into thinking you are in denial and, unlike her, lacking in lez cred. Perhaps her first lover, who likely taught your gal everything she knows, was phallus-phobic, so obsessed with gender politics that penetrative sex had no place in her world view. I don't know. And neither will you unless you talk about it. Before the clothes come off and the toys come out. Let her know that you enjoy sex with her and be open with all the things that turn you on, including penetration by something with more girth than fingers—and that doesn't mean it has to be a cock. Once upon a time there was a tragic misconception that women were capable of two different kinds of orgasms, clitoral and vaginal, and that of the two, the vaginal, obtained by heterosexual intercourse, was the superior. Fortunately the marvelous clitoris was eventually given its due, but consequently the vulva and vagina lost ground. I think it is high time we stop focusing on the separate parts that make up the glorious thing that is the human female sex anatomy. The clit is more than just the bit under the hood; it is a vast, beautiful network of nerve endings and erectile tissue, and there is nothing antifeminist or purely heterosexual about wanting to pleasure the entirety._

_Dear Scarlet, I am a straight guy with a gay brother. When he came out of the closet officially, my and parents and I were fine (we'd always known), but the extended family have not been as accepting and have more or less shunned us. With Thanksgiving a couple months away—_

"Kagome?" Rin moaned.

"Here I am," Kagome said, closing her computer and laying it on the floor.

"Is my uncle still here?"

"He had to go, but he'll be back to check on you."

Rin nodded sleepily. "Don't leave me, okay?"

"Never." Kagome knew it was time she had more ibuprofen to avoid a spike in her fever and that she was probably thirsty. "Let's try to go the bathroom," she said gently, picking up the sick child. Brought back to her reality of mothering, she felt a twinge of guilt for indulging in the brief respite that was her column. She could only hope that Rin would more or less sleep soundly through the night and she would be able to get a little drawing done, then seek some rest herself.

XxXxX

The sounds of childish and musical laughter were the first things Sesshoumaru noticed as he walked toward Rin's room, so different from the tense, worried silence of the day before. But it was the sight of his niece sitting up in bed wearing a huge grin, munching on popcorn that told him that she was feeling better. Kagome was next to her, and they were looking at something on her laptop together. He had spoken with Kagome several times that day, and she had reported cheerfully that Rin's condition was much improved, but it was still nice for him to have visual evidence. "How's my girl?"

Rin squealed with excitement at seeing him. "I'm good! Come and see this funny one!"

Kagome turned the computer so he could see the screen. It showed a sad looking kitten, with a caption underneath. "I made you a cookie…but I eated it," he read aloud.

Rin collapsed into a fit of hysterical and, in his opinion, unwarranted giggles. Sesshoumaru, needing an interpretation of the madness, quirked a brow at Kagome.

"We've been looking at lolcats for the past hour," she said in explanation. "Prolonged exposure brings out the silly in her."

"So she seems back to her usual self," he commented. And so, he noticed was Kagome, who had regained some color in her face and her air of confidence.

"Late this morning, after her third dose of the antibiotics, she became noticeably better. Isn't it amazing how quickly kids bounce back from illness? We cuddled and read and told stories all day, then my mind stopped working so I resorted to first AMVs, now lolcats."

"AMVs?"

"Anime music videos…it's when people take anime clips and edit them together and set the whole thing to music."

"People actually spend their time doing that?" He couldn't imagine a less worthwhile pursuit.

"Don't judge," she chided. "Some are _eh_, some are really cool. We alternated Rin's love of the magical girl transformation videos with me getting my yaoi bishie fix on." She winked at him. "Just had to keep it Rin-safe."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Do you want to see one?" Rin asked enthusiastically.

"NO!" Kagome screamed in mock horror. "If I see another Sailor Moon or Tokyo Mew Mew video my brain will bleed. You can show your uncle some Nanoha or Kaito Jeanne vids the next time he babysits you."

Rin started to pout, then saw Sesshoumaru held something behind his back. "What's in your hand?"

He gave her a smiling plush panda. "It's Jing Jing, one of the mascots for the Olympics next year. I picked it up when I was stuck at an airport, but next time I go I'll bring you back a toy from Singapore. I had to leave so unexpectedly, I didn't get a chance to go shopping."

"I love it!" She jumped up and hugged him around the waist, Kagome rescuing the bowl of popcorn before it spilled. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Ahh…a boy, I think." Sesshoumaru still was getting used to thinking like a parent and preparing himself for the inevitable questions Rin seemed to enjoy asking, though his instincts in making up plausible answers were improving.

"Let the man go, Rin Rin," Kagome said.

Rin looked up, but didn't loosen her grip. "Will you take me to school tomorrow?"

"Can you go back already?" he asked, surprised. He found it hard to believe, given how sick she had been the day before.

"She's been on antibiotics for twenty-four hours, so she's not contagious anymore. And she's obviously feeling better." Kagome grabbed Rin and try to pull her off, but she clung tightly, shrieking joyously. "Sorry," she said to Sesshoumaru. "She's a little keyed up. I'll teach you a trick of the trade." She moved her hands to Rin's armpits, instantly causing the girl to let go. "When in doubt, tickle."

Rin shot a dark glance at her aunt, but in truth she was happy. Happier than she had been since her parents had died. The warm, cozy security and love circulating in the room approximated the feelings she had when she was with her mother and father, and she almost felt like she was a normal girl, with her experience of a normal family again.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru sat in the sunroom, savoring his cup of coffee and leisurely reading the _New York Times_ online before heading into work for a few hours. His parents were out of town, leaving him free from his father's questions about the arena project and his mother's none too subtle suggestions about dating the daughters of her country club friends, to bask in the solitude of a quiet Saturday morning. It was something he was able to enjoy infrequently, especially lately. Between putting out fires with the unions and the city Council and cementing contacts for the second phase of his oversees business, he had been at the office fifteen hours a day, dividing his remaining time between sleep, Kendo, and Rin. He regretted he was not able to spend more time with Kagome as well, but she was working as much as he was, and they traded child care duties.

And Rin was hardly a burden. She was an exuberant handful, but a cute, good-natured one. That his sweet, sensitive niece was his brother's offspring no longer gave him pause. Hidden not very deeply in the child were all the things he had simultaneously love and hated about Inuyasha for the past three decades. She had his unique sense of humor and utter lack of fear and the infuriating combination of naiveté and experience. She was thoroughly Inuyasha's child. Somehow the aspects of his brother's personality that drove him crazy growing up, in Rin were charming and only further endeared her to him, and he felt himself gradually coming to a calm acceptance and understanding of their shared childhood and lives as brothers.

The chime of the front doorbell brought him back to the present—confusing, as he wasn't expecting any callers at eight on a Saturday morning. He went to investigate and found Rin, looking worried. "Rin, what's wrong?"

"Something's wrong with Kagome," she said, lower lip quivering. "I went to wake her up, but she keeps going back to sleep."

Sesshoumaru sighed with relief. "Rin, Kagome has been working late every night and not sleeping enough. She's probably just finally being forced to catch up on some rest."

Rin shook her head, wondering why adults had such a hard time believing kids and had to try to rationalize everything. "I _know_ she's been tired, but this is different. She's hot, and I can tell she hurts…all over, really, really bad. Please come with me." She paused for dramatic effect. "I'm scared."

They went into the guest house, but halfway down the hall, Rin remembered something. "Can you wait for a minute?" she asked, suddenly unsure of herself for bringing Sesshoumaru.

"What is it?" He was confused by her hesitance after almost running the distance between the two houses.

Rin took a deep breath, hoping Kagome wouldn't be angry with her. "Kagome doesn't sleep with any clothes on. I need to check if she's still covered up." When her parents were alive and they all lived together, at least partial nudity was commonplace at home, but she didn't think her uncle was quite ready for that level of exposure.

Sesshoumaru held back a smile at Rin's protectiveness and her desire to preserve her aunt's modesty. "Call me when she's decent."

A moment later Rin shouted, "It's okay! There's a blanket on her!"

Inside the dimly lit room, he was able to perceive that the large lump on the bed was Kagome curled up in a fetal position, her messy black hair barely showing from under the quilt. Next to her was Oberon, who wagged upon seeing him, but didn't get up. Her other guardian angel was sitting on a pillow, petting her head.

"Kagome," Rin begged, "wake up. Please."

The lump groaned and moved slightly. "Ohhh…my throat," Kagome whispered. "I think I'm dying."

Rin bent down and hugged her. "It's okay, Kagome. Uncle Sesshoumaru is here now. He'll take care of you."

Kagome weakly lifted her head and squinted through the darkness. Sesshoumaru was indeed standing next to her bed, dressed casually in khakis and an oxford blue shirt, looking like the Greek God of Silver-Haired Sex. She could only imagine what she looked like. "Shit," she muttered, burying her face in the sheets, trying to escape the injustice.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. Nor do I have any claim to The Clash, Kit-Cat Klock, DC fictional planets, Planned Parenthood, lolcats, Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew Mew, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne, Jing Jing, the IOC, or the New York Times. Thank you for reading! _


	21. In Sickness

Sesshoumaru had every intention of going into work that morning. The office on the weekend was nearly empty and offered a chance at relative peace—few people there, no one asking anything of him, an opportunity to work without distractions and finish some lingering projects—and he had planned to take advantage of it. Instead he found himself being drawn, like it or not, into the situation at the guest house.

Rin was sitting on Kagome's big bed, trying to soothe a large, blanket-covered lump. He sat and noticed the lump shivered uncontrollably. "Kagome, look at me." He switched on the lamp on the bedside table.

"Nooo! The light, it _buurrnnns_."

He brushed her hair away from her forehead and was alarmed at how hot and damp her skin was. "Good god, you're on fire." He gently tilted her chin up; her face was flushed, not the pretty blush when she was embarrassed, but a vivid, dangerous red, and her eyes were fever-bright. "Kagome, you've gotten Rin's illness. You need to be seen by a doctor."

Kagome closed her eyes and groaned, shuddering involuntarily. "Cold."

Sesshoumaru's expression darkened; she seemed much worse than Rin had when she was at her sickest. "What's the name of your physician?"

"Dr. Rita…I don't even remember her last name. It doesn't matter; Planned Parenthood is closed on weekends." She fumbled for Rin's hand resting on her shoulder. "Hi, honey. You need your medicine, don't you?" She tried to sit up, but collapsed before she made much progress.

"You lie back and rest. I'll take care of Rin."

She nodded weakly, hating that she was so incapacitated, but grateful that she had someone she could trust to give Rin the correct dose of the foul-tasting antibiotic; the girl could be most uncooperative. "It's in the frig."

Sesshoumaru and Rin went into the kitchen, and she, knowing her uncle was concerned about Kagome's condition, took the antibiotic without the usual complaint and demands for bribery. "Kagome's really sick, isn't she?" She was worried too and especially troubled by the fact that Kagome had gotten sick because of her.

Sesshoumaru watched Rin's face, fear and confusion at play on her precious, childish features, and he recognized her need for reassurance in the wake of her parents' deaths. He knelt down and let her crawl into his arms, wrapping her own slim ones tightly around his neck. "It must be hard for you to see her like that after she's done such a good job taking care of you."

Rin nodded solemnly. "Will she be okay?"

"I promise she will be fine. Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No," she said, then added quickly, "It's not Kagome's fault.

"I know," he said. He thought for a moment about his dilemma. Kagome needed to see a doctor and was in no shape to take care of herself, but there was the issue of Rin. His plans of going to work had already been abandoned, and with his parents out of town his options were limited. "How would you like to spend the morning with Anita while I take Kagome to a doctor?"

"Why can't I come with?" she asked anxiously. "Kagome might need me."

He laughed softly; apparently Kagome wasn't the only one with a latent mother bear instinct. "Rin," he said with resolve, "I promise nothing bad will happen to your aunt, but I don't know how long we will have to wait around and I know you'd have a better time here with Anita."

His calm strength and confidence went far in mollifying her, but she remained unconvinced and leveled a dubious stare at him.

The gold eyes were a perfect mirror of his father and Inuyasha's stubbornness; he needed to think creatively. "You may even be able to persuade her to make cookies."

This perked Rin up considerably. "For breakfast?" she asked, giddy at the thought of something so illegal.

He laughed, more loudly this time, at her extreme cuteness, the temptation to conspire with her pushed away by responsibility and the sure knowledge that Kagome would disapprove when, not if, she found out. "After breakfast."

In Rin's eyes the question was a technicality, so the negative answer didn't matter. Anita spoiled her more than all her blood relatives combined; she could have cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then she remembered Kagome, sick and alone, and had a guilt-ridden panic attack. "What about Kagome? Are you sure you can make her better?"

"I am. First I need to get her to a doctor. Fortunately I have a friend whom I can call to help us."

He brought Rin to the mansion and turned her over to the housekeeper, who was delighted to have the company of the littlest Taisho.

XxXxX

Kagome hovered in the space between sleep and wakefulness like a miserable, broken bird. She was in too much pain to give herself comfortably over to the abyss, but she was far too tired and sick to achieve full consciousness. In her false-dream state she was a child again with Kikyou sitting by her side, Inuyasha incongruously nearby, his fingers cool and smooth against her fiery brow, telling her she needed to see a doctor. She knew it was wrong—they were dead—and tried to push the image away, tried to be rational. The players were replaced by Rin and Sesshoumaru, which made more sense, but when she opened her eyes, she was alone again. Easier to keep eyes closed and not fight. If only she wasn't so cold, she may even be able to stop shivering and get some rest.

A voice interrupted her efforts at oblivion, pulling her into awareness.

"Kagome." A hand, lightly shaking her shoulder, joined the voice. "Wake up."

The persistent voice and jarring were enough. She opened an eye groggily and saw Sesshoumaru sitting next to her, looking gorgeous, and she felt as if she was stuck on a loop of déjà vu. "Uughhhh…I feel like death." Painful reality had returned full force. "Every muscle and joint in my body hurts."

"Kagome, you need to get up and get dressed. No, don't go back to sleep," he prodded, gently shaking her again when her eyes began to droop. "I'm taking you to see a doctor." He went to her closet and pulled out a casual dress he'd seen her wearing recently. "Kagome." She'd fallen back to sleep. "If you can't stay awake, I'll be forced to dress you; I know you're not wearing anything." He hoped the passive threat would be sufficient to rouse her, though he readily confessed to himself the idea had naughty appeal.

In her delirium, Kagome thought Sesshoumaru's strong, sure hands touching her aching body sounded like bliss, but that bit of her that screamed Sexy Equals Scary was loud enough to force her to move. She slowly sat up, clutching blankets around her to guard against the cold and took the dress he held out, grimacing at the pain that had spread through her limbs. "Now what's this about a doctor? I hate doctors," she said, repressing memories of white coats, hospital beds, and choking fear.

"My racquetball partner is an MD, but he's teeing off in an hour, so we need to hurry."

She shook head, then winced at the pain and subsequent waves of nausea. "I can't afford—"

"I'll take care of it. Get dressed."

Kagome was not fond of being told what to do, though his expression, one of sympathy, diffused her mulish urge to resist him. "_Privacy_?" She groaned at the way talking made her throat hurt.

He half-smiled at her attempt at cheek, still concerned about how sick she seemed, but happy that she wasn't ridiculously refusing his offer of assistance. "I'll be waiting in the living room."

Kagome put on the dress and started shivering as soon as she got out of bed, so she threw on her robe. "I'll be right there," she croaked, hoping he could hear her. "I've _got_ to use the bathroom." The foul taste in her mouth made brushing teeth almost as necessary as urination. She opened the medicine cabinet to get the toothpaste, saw a brown plastic bottle, and smiled. "Mmm…_narcotics_." In Kagome's world, drugs were reserved for occasional recreational use, though she made exceptions for cases of major, ugly hang-overs and certain amounts of pain that no one should be forced to shoulder, such as the high ankle sprain she had suffered the year before and the body aches she was currently experiencing.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru looked at his watch for the fifth time in five minutes, wondering what was taking Kagome so long. He had a reputation for being chronically on-time and hated to spoil it. His physician friend was taking time out of his morning to do him this favor, and though he was too important a person to be refused, it would be rude to make the man wait. He thought for a moment that perhaps Kagome had fallen back to sleep, but she came shuffling toward him before he went to investigate.

"Please tell me you're not wearing that thing." Between her slippers, hideous robe, messy hair, and baggy eyes, her look said I Give Up, but time constraints didn't permit him any chance of convincing her to do something about her attire.

She adjusted the robe and hugged her arms tightly around herself and tried to glare at him, but only managed to look more pathetic. "I'm cold." She went to the refrigerator and poured herself a small glass of grapefruit juice, then took the vodka out of the freezer, splashed some in, and drank it in one swallow.

"I'm not sure that's what you need."

"I'm positive that it is not only unnecessary, it's downright stupid." She scowled; the combined flavors of the tart juice and mint instantly made her regret the decision to brush her teeth. "But right now I don't give a rat's fucking ass. I hate doctors and just want to hurt a little less."

Kagome tended to the neglected dog's breakfast with promises that she'd make it all up to him, and they left. Due to light traffic and a sleeping Kagome, the drive was mercifully uneventful, and they arrived quickly. He opened the car door and helped her out, then noticed she was wearing a peculiar, lop-sided grin.

"Ah. That's better," she said, satisfied like the proverbial canary-swallowing cat. "I think the drugs are starting to kick in."

"Drugs?" he asked ominously.

"I had some Percocet at home. It expired last month, so I took two…just in case."

This can't be good, he thought, but was distracted by Kagome hanging on him. She leaned her head on his arm and as she stumbled along squeezed his bicep as though she was assessing a piece of choice fruit.

"You work out, don't you?" she cooed, with what seemed like an inept attempt at flirtation, and she reminded him of a drunk hooker.

"Come on." He ushered her inside the medical complex and, after looking on the directory for the office number of his friend's dermatology clinic, steered Kagome into an available elevator. He pushed the button for the tenth floor, but before he could stop her, she began pushing all the other buttons.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

She giggled innocently. "I always wanted to do that."

The elevator climbed painfully one floor at a time, and each time it stopped and the doors opened to an empty vestibule, he felt like he was being mocked. Kagome, humming and swaying unsteadily against him from the constant stops and starts, seemed ignorant of the fact that he wanted to throttle her.

Finally, inside the posh office, they were greeted by a tall, good-looking blond man wearing a golf shirt.

"Aaron, thank you for meeting us. I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Sesshoumaru," the doctor replied, "it's always good to see you outside the athletic club. I just got here a few minutes ago. Whom do we have here?" He noticed Kagome's appearance and tried to hide his amusement at seeing one of the most powerful men in the city accompanied by someone who looked like an escaped mental patient.

"This is my niece's aunt, Kagome Higurashi. Kagome, this is Doctor Hertz."

"Hurts?" She clutched Sesshoumaru's arm tightly. "That's a shitty name for a doctor."

The blond man laughed lightly. "Bad name, good guy. Let's go into an examination room."

Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru, her big brown eyes pleading, full of fear. "Will you come with me?"

He nodded, somewhat confused at her reluctance to go alone, unable to deny her and the trust she was showing in him. They followed into a room, and Kagome was helped onto an exam table.

"So you're Kikyou Higurashi's sister. Very sorry about your loss," the doctor murmured as he took her pulse. "I was at Arrow's last concert. I must say you are quite a talented singer. Given any thought to joining the band?"

Kagome panicked expression softened. "Oh…I'm just _okay_," she said, incapable of stopping the wide grin that blossomed on her face. The good doctor's bedside manner was apparently winning her over.

"I'm told you may have contracted strep from your niece. Sore throat?"

"Sore everything," she confided, leaning in closer to him.

Doctor Hertz looked at her with studied compassion. "Poor girl. Tell me about it. How do you feel? Sometimes these childhood illnesses can really do a number on adults."

Kagome finally had the sympathetic ear she'd wanted. "I feel like stepped-on shit. Every joint and muscle in my body aches. Like I got hit by a train," she whined. Once the sharing had begun, she wasn't about to stop. "My head feels like it's gonna split in half. I'm really cold, then really hot, then really, _really_ cold. I can barely stand on my own and walking makes my mind spin and my stomach flop over. My throat feels like I spent last night eating sandpaper and broken glass. I'm tired as fuck. And the Percocet is only helping a little." She finished her litany with a little pout that she hoped wasn't over the top.

"Percocet…good stuff."

"Breakfast of champions!" Kagome chirped. "That and the Greyhound. I'd have done a wake and bake, but I didn't think my throat could handle it."

"I see," he said, highly amused. Usually in his experience, patients were unwilling to confess such details, but this woman's frankness was charming in an illicit, humorous way, and if she happened to look like a fugitive from an asylum, at least she was a very _cute_ fugitive.

"Just kidding about that last part," Kagome blurted, certain, despite her pharmaceutical-induced haze, she could feel the waves of disapproval coming from across the room where Sesshoumaru was seated.

The doctor put a digital thermometer in her mouth. "Normally my nurse or physician assistant does this part, but I think I remember from med school how these things work," he said with an easy, reassuring humor. "I'm not entirely incompetent." After a series of beeps, he looked at the reading. "Damn," he said, suddenly becoming more serious. "104.3 No wonder you feel so bad. This is a very high fever."

Kagome shot an awkward I Told You So look at Sesshoumaru and decided she had a shiny new savior…not quite as drop-dead gorgeous, but far less serious. The exam continued, heart and lungs listened to, cervical lymph nodes palpitated, small talk made.

"Let's have a look at your throat."

Kagome opened her mouth wide, trying to be as cooperative as she had asked Rin to be a few days earlier, hoping her breath didn't smell too strongly of vodka.

"Red with nasty spots. Most likely strep," he pronounced, "but I need to swab your throat and do an RADT to be sure. Not allergic to penicillin, are you?" He took a long cotton swab and brushed the back of her throat, causing her to gag and choke.

"Shit," she said after recovering. "That damn gag reflex. I guess it's been way too long since I gave head."

The doctor peered over his shoulder at Sesshoumaru, who merely rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Am I to assume that's the drugs talking?"

"Actually, no. She's not known for delicacy of language."

"Kagome, you become more interesting every moment," he laughed. "You two go sit in the waiting room where it's more comfortable. The rapid strep test will only take a few minutes."

When Aaron returned, the pair was seated on an overstuffed sofa, Kagome fast asleep with her head resting in Sesshoumaru's lap. He sat down next to them and handed Sesshoumaru a small piece of paper. "The test was positive. Get this scrip filled and start her on the antibiotics right away and make sure she finishes the whole course. She'll probably just sleep the rest of the day, but in the meantime, I'm worried about her fever."

"You indicated it was high."

"Dangerously. Give her ibuprofen…up to 800 milligrams every four hours. It will help with the pain too. Avoid any more Percocet; that stuff is highly addictive. Cold compresses will help. I know she says she's cold, but it will feel good on her forehead. And lots of fluids. Dehydration with a temp this high is a serious issue."

"When will she start feeling better?" Sesshoumaru was trying to plan his schedule and juggle work with caring for Kagome and Rin in his mind, though he was secretly, for reasons he preferred not to analyze, glad he would be playing nursemaid for the near future.

"Probably sometime tomorrow, but if she starts getting a rash, call me." He saw the relief, just visible under Sesshoumaru's stoic features. If he hadn't had so much experience playing competitive sports with him, it probably would have gone unnoticed. "So are you two…" His voice trailed off, implication clear.

"No."

"Well then, you wouldn't mind if I asked her out. Normally I'd never dream of it, but she's not a regular patient, and she's cute as—" He cut himself off. The white-haired man seated next to him was glowering, clearly displeased. Past experience with Sesshoumaru's competitive nature was unnecessary for an accurate reading of this particular, proprietary look. "Never mind. But I'll just say that she's still contagious for twenty-four hours after the antibiotics are started and if you come down with a fever or a sore throat in the next few days, call your regular doctor for an appointment."

"Have the bill sent to my office." Sesshoumaru gently grasped Kagome's shoulders and began to ease her upright.

"Can't a girl get any fucking sleep around here," she mumbled.

"Precious," Aaron said. He found her incoherent vulgarity inexplicably endearing. "I won't send you a bill. Let's just consider us even after all you did to get me on the board of directors for the arts foundation. Are we still on for a racquetball on Wednesday?"

"Looking forward to it."

He watched them leave. Though not close friends, he knew Sesshoumaru fairly well from athletics and society functions. The younger Taisho was often seen with the most attractive, accomplished women in town, though never with the same one for more than a handful of instances. Sesshoumaru twined a supportive arm around the waist of the waifish beauty, and the doctor knew there was something between the two of them; the verdict was out on if either yet realized it.

XxXxX

"This one next." Rin handed her uncle yet another book and settled back into his arms. "It's one of my Mommy's favorites," she whispered, so not to rouse the slumbering, feverish mass that she affectionately dubbed Snorlaxagome.

Sesshoumaru opened the book and turned to the first page of the story. It was a watercolor of a night-time scene—child abed, woman seated nearby, black cat watching a dark, star-filled sky outside the open window. It was a tranquil, intimate picture, one that conjured select, treasured moments of his own childhood; he drew Rin closer and began to read. "I took the silver singing needles to make a blanket for your bed. Rest your head, close your eyes. I'll knit you dreams and lullabies."

Sesshoumaru paused, interrupted as Snorlaxagome shifted and moaned, waiting to see if she would quiet again.

"I think she's waking up for real this time," Rin said.

Kagome turned over and blinked bleary eyes at the people next to her on the bed. "Hey, you two," she croaked. "What time is it? How long have I been asleep?"

Rin climbed off Sesshoumaru's lap and lay down next to her aunt, putting a small hand on her forehead. She had taken so much comfort from Kagome's hand upon her brow when she had been the sick one; Rin wanted to do the same and hoped she was doing it correctly.

"It's six in the evening," Sesshoumaru said. He smiled softly as his sweet little niece imitated the mothering gesture. "How do you feel?"

"God awful." She looked around and took in her surroundings. Dog sprawled on the edge of her bed, inelegantly showing off tummy and genitals, was to be expected. A nightstand with neatly organized pill bottles, thermometer, and ice water…less than normal. Sesshoumaru, sitting on the bed next to her, long legs out-stretched, was unprecedented.

He saw surprise and confusion flash briefly in her eyes. "Rin didn't want to leave your side," he said in explanation, though truthfully he also felt much better being able to watch her sleep, occasionally touching her face to reassure himself that she wasn't getting any hotter, helping Rin press a cold cloth to her head without waking her.

Kagome smoothed Rin's hair and kissed her cheek. "You are just like both your parents, sweetie. Always looking out for me," she said, blinking away tears. "What would I do without you?" She looked up at Sesshoumaru. "You too. Thanks…a lot. I hope this babysitting and caregiving isn't totally screwing your life up."

"I've been able to get a few things done via email. And it has forced me to delegate authority, something I've been told many times I need to do."

She reached out and squeezed his hand in appreciation, tucking away the knowledge that she would need to thank him more thoroughly when she felt whole again, and turned back to Rin. "I think I was dreaming of your grandmother's dog demon."

"Really?" Rin squirmed with excitement; she loved hearing about other people's dreams.

"I dreamt that I was floating, and it was kinda fun and peaceful. I didn't have any control over where I was going, but it didn't matter. Then…I don't know…it got dark, and I started falling, faster and faster. Really scary. Suddenly I was caught. I found myself encompassed by something warm and fluffy, but it was strong too. So I felt safe and opened my eyes and I saw white fur wrapped all around me. And it was soft like a cloud, but firm, like the bottom would never drop out."

"Why do you think it was grandmother's dog demon?" Rin asked.

"Because I knew I should trust it, just like your grandmother said about her dream. And it kinda smelled like a dog."

"Ewww, Kah-gome," Rin whined. It all sounded like a wonderful dream, but the end bit ruined it for her. "Oberon stinks!"

The dog heard Rin squeal his name and, taking it as an invitation, went to nuzzle her face. The adults watched, laughing, as her protests quickly became giggles, which only made the dog lick her with increased enthusiasm.

"Alright Obi," Kagome said to intervene when she thought they'd both had enough. "Off!" He lay back down, resting his black head on Rin's legs in what could only be read as a claim of superiority. "You don't smell bad, do you?" Kagome reached down to pet him, but the pain that flared from simple movement made her wince and reminded all of them that she was still very ill.

Sesshoumaru brushed back dark tendrils of hair plastered against her face, distressed that her skin seemed so hot again. "Kagome, you should have some more ibuprofen. It's been six hours, and Aaron said your fever was too high. And you need to drink some water."

Kagome took his hand before he could pull it away and pressed the cool, smooth fingers tightly against the murderous pain in her forehead. "Feels nice," she said. She smiled weakly up at him. She had expected to see a stern disciplinarian, irritated at the interruption in what she knew was a busy schedule, but instead she only found worry and compassion. "Can I use the bathroom first? Then I'll be a good patient and cooperate." She reluctantly released his hand and sat up, an accomplishment that she didn't anticipate would leave her feeling so drained. "Ugh…I'm ready to go back to sleep and I'm not even out of bed yet. _Shoot_. Rin honey, I forgot all about your afternoon dosage of medicine."

"Uncle Sesshoumaru gave it to me. And he fixed me lunch and dinner and we fed Obi together."

Kagome sighed and rested her hand on his arm. "Thanks. Again. For everything. I'm going to owe you a huge payback after this. I don't know what I would have done without your help. Especially taking care of Rin."

"Just concentrate on getting better."

Rin watched the two adults connecting and again felt that she was part of a family. The first time they were all laughing and happy together, and though this time was under much different circumstances, she still was surrounded by warmth and assurance that the people she loved loved her back, loved her together. "Can I sleep in here with you tonight?"

"Sure, sweetie, but I'm not sure how much good I'll be at reading to you. I think all this talking has put my sore throat at the limit."

"That's okay." Rin hugged Kagome, then looked up at her uncle, positive of one thing—she didn't want him to leave them. "You can sleep here too."

"Rin, you're bed is way too small for an adult of normal height, never mind someone as tall as your uncle."

Rin summoned her most dramatic Well Duh expression; her aunt could be so blind to the obvious solution sometimes. "He can sleep here with us. I slept with Mommy and Daddy all the time and this bed is as big as theirs was."

Kagome was afraid to hazard a glance at Sesshoumaru. His presence next to her was certainly comforting, but the thought of the three of them cuddling together, while she had to admit was enjoyable, was not reality, and pretending was not a game she wanted to play. She decided to toss out the logic card instead of trying to explain adult notions of inappropriateness to an innocent, hopeful little girl. "Rin, Sesshoumaru can't sleep here," she said lightly. "There's too much sickness in this room, and we don't want him to get sick too, now do we?"

Rin thought this was ridiculous. First, in her child's mind, she couldn't imagine him ever getting sick; he would never be weak and bed-ridden like she and Kagome were. Second, Rin's logic was more than capable of keeping up with Kagome's reasonable explanation. "But Kagome, he's been in here all day taking care of you. What difference would sleeping here make?"

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said, lifting her face so she'd look at him. "I've got my own room, with my own bed." He put a finger to her quivering lip to prevent a tearful outburst. "But we can compromise. I'll help you get ready for bed and stay here until you're asleep, and I'll come back first thing in the morning."

Rin didn't think that sounded like much of a compromise and, though satisfied with the arrangement, decided she would see if she could still bargain. "Will you make me breakfast?"

"Perhaps."

Kagome sighed with relief that Sesshoumaru was getting so good at dealing with Rin's personality and that the potential sticky situation was avoided. She rose to go to the bathroom, but the room lurched as soon as she was on her feet. Sesshoumaru was at her side in an instant, solid and warm, keeping her from falling. She buried her face in the white hair at his shoulder and waited for the dizziness to pass.

"Thanks. I guess I got up too fast."

"Don't overexert yourself. Let me help." He picked her up and carried her down the hall.

Kagome was too tired and weak to protest, and his arms made her feel protected and weightless. "Thanks for working your magic with Rin. I don't think I could have handled a tantrum right now. Don't know what's gotten into that kid."

Their eyes locked; they knew very well what was going on with the girl. She was trying to recreate her family. Kagome suddenly was flooded by melancholy—loss of her parents, loss of Kikyou and Inuyasha, her orphaned niece who was grasping onto her substitute parents with both hands.

Her face couldn't conceal anything. Sesshoumaru set her down in front of the bathroom door and held her. "She'll be okay."

"I know," Kagome whispered.

Sesshoumaru helped her straighten, making sure she was steady on her feet. "Just need to find my land legs." She stepped away from him and shivered. "Shit, I'm cold." Suddenly she became aware of what she was wearing—a gauzy, white negligee that made her look like the heroine on the cover of a romance novel. "This…isn't what I put on this morning." She froze and wished she could die, rather than hear his response.

He knew he could torture her with a few carefully chosen fibs, but let her off the hook; it would be more gratifying if she were feeling better and could fight back. "Anita helped you get changed and into bed when we got back from the doctor while I gave Rin lunch. You were pretty out of it." He had no doubt that further opportunities to tease her would be forthcoming.

Kagome tittered self-consciously. "She couldn't have pulled out my fleece PJs? I'm practically nak—" She closed her eyes and fled into the safety of the bathroom. "Be out in a minute," she called from the other side of the door.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru." Rin was standing next to him holding Kagome's ugly robe. "She forgot this."

"You are a little protector, aren't you?"

Rin nodded. "It's nice to have someone to protect."

He tossed her up in the air and soaked in the sound of her delight. He couldn't agree more.

_I do not own Inuyasha. Nor do I have any claim to Planned Parenthood, Percocet, any Pokemon characters, or the book From Lullaby to Lullaby by Adele Geras. Thank you for reading! _


	22. And In Health

_Weightless and blind, Kagome was floating again, utterly at peace. She vaguely became aware that she had no pain, no worries…only the sensation of being suspended in a dark, peaceful void, and time and space were of no consequence. Suddenly something soft and alive gently brushed her cheek. She turned toward the warm fluff, recognizing it from her earlier dream…and felt safe. It twined in her hair and massaged her scalp, moved over her skin and ran down the length of her body, caressing like a lover. Another part stroked her jaw and neck, continuing down to linger at the top of her chest. It slid over her shoulder and slipped under the strap of her negligee, pushing it down her arm. She felt the cool air touch her flesh just before the fur began running up her leg, under the sheer fabric. While one part went lower and lower, snaking between her breasts, down the flatness of her belly, the other end crept higher and higher, easing her legs apart. She moaned at the light touch which was so tortuously setting her body on fire with_—

"Kagome, can you wake up a little?"

Kagome shot up and gasped. She was pulled from a shadowy world of slow, sensual pleasure and thrust into shocked confusion, bright with morning light and Rin standing next to her bed. "Hey honey," she said as calmly as she was able with her heart hammering and chest heaving. She felt the familiar flush of sexual excitement and realized her skimpy nightgown was significantly askew. She yanked the straps back up quickly and looked past the child to the doorway to make sure Sesshoumaru wasn't also standing there. "You woke me up from a dream."

"What was it about?"

_That I need to get fucking laid_. "I think you're grandmother's dog demon has a naughty side. What's up?"

"Uncle Sesshoumaru is making me eggs and toast, and he wanted me to see if you want some too and to tell you that you need to wake up and take your pill."

Kagome moved to the side of the bed and threw on her robe, noticing the late hour on her bedroom clock. "You two are so good to me…letting me sleep in." She took a pill out of the brown bottle and several ibuprofen.

"He said you should stay in bed," Rin scolded.

"I know, but I've been in bed for going on twenty-four hours. Time to get up. At least for a bit." Her head, though not threatening to explode, was still spinning at the smallest movement. "And the chance of seeing your uncle being domestic is worth the small possibility of a setback."

She took Rin's hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze, and then they went into kitchen.

Sesshoumaru was standing at the stove, adjusting the flame under a sauté pan. He looked up and frowned at her. "Kagome, you were very sick yesterday. What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm going to ignore your domineering tone of voice," she said cheerfully. "Rin told me you're cooking, and I wanted to make sure you aren't going to burn down my kitchen."

"Nonsense." He crossed the room and put a hand to her forehead, relieved that, though she still felt warm, the angry, immediate heat had dissipated and her color had become closer to normal. "How do you feel this morning?"

Kagome made the conscious choice not to be irritated by his hovering protectiveness and instead allowed herself to close her eyes and lean against him, enjoying his strength and warmth. "Like I have been defenestrated—which is a step up from yesterday when I felt like I got thrown out a window…then beaten with a stick. I just want to be vertical for a few minutes."

He guided her onto a tall barstool next to Rin. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. "Just juice, please. I really don't have my appetite back, and even if I did, I don't think my throat can handle solids yet."

He set a glass of grapefruit juice in front of her. "I hope you aren't expecting me to add vodka to this."

She playfully stuck her tongue out and took the pills. "Thanks. Soo…you seem to know how to work the stove and toaster," she said as he continued with Rin's breakfast. "I guess I assumed the typical bachelor's kitchen incompetence combined with having a housekeeper left you particularly hopeless in food preparation."

"I lived alone for several years," he said, giving her a pointed look while spooning scrambled eggs onto a plate. "I know how to feed myself."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, curiosity and the urge to challenge him prickling at her. "What can you make?"

He smiled to himself, happy that Kagome seemed back to her healthy, pestering personality. "Eggs and toast," he replied. He spread butter on some toast, added it to the plate, and slid it in front of Rin.

"Besides eggs and toast."

"I'm remarkably adept at making rice that either has the consistency of watery gravel or is scorched on the bottom." He joined them at the counter and absorbed the warm sound of Kagome's laugh.

"It can be tricky. I'll teach you the secret to perfect rice one of these days."

Rin was thrilled the three of them were together, but scowled at the orange marmalade next to the salt and pepper shakers. "May I have the strawberry jam? Please?" Her grandmother had been giving her lessons on etiquette and proper social graces, and though she knew Kagome wouldn't care that she remember the intricacies of posture and table settings, she at least knew the importance of politeness.

Sesshoumaru held back an indulgent laugh; Rin's courteous words did not match her sour expression and tone of voice. "That's all I could find."

Kagome got up, went to the refrigerator, and took out a jam jar. She heaped piles of it on Rin's toast, just as she knew her niece liked. Then she tousled Sesshoumaur's hair before returning to her seat. "It's okay. Male Refrigerator Blindness is nothing to be ashamed of."

Sesshoumaru's serious façade was almost cracked.

"What's that?" Rin asked between bites.

"When a man loses the ability to visually recognize objects in a refrigerator. Closely related to Male Reluctance to Load the Dishwasher," she said, indicating the sink full of dishes, "Male Fear of Touching the Vacuum, and Male Inability to Ask for Directions."

"Very funny," he said sarcastically. "Is it like Female Funhouse Mirror Syndrome? Or perhaps Female Need to Interrupt Comfortable Silence?"

"I love your sense of humor," Kagome said honestly, but with a heavy dollop of impudence.

"Glad to know you're feeling better."

She was seized by the desire to ruffle his hair again, but thought better of it. Sesshoumaru, she had learned, was able to handle small doses of teasing, and she suspected she was pushing his limit. "Glad to know you're glad."

Rin was glad too.

XxXxX

Kagome was woken from a dreamless sleep by a weight suddenly crushing her legs, immobilizing them. She panicked briefly, but then saw it was only the dog, half-lying on her and panting heavily.

"Sorry," Sesshoumaru apologized. "I was hoping he wouldn't wake you."

Rin crawled on the bed. "We played with Obi outside. Uncle Sesshoumaru is teaching him how to fetch."

Kagome snorted. "Good luck with that. Dog doesn't have a retrieving bone in his body."

"How are you feeling?"

"Almost human again." She struggled against the dog's weight to sit up, then looked at Sesshoumaru and gave him her sweetest smile. "There are a few extra pillows on the top shelf of the closet. Be a dear and get them for me. Please." She batted her eyelashes for good measure.

He disappeared inside the closet.

"You may have to use a chair—that shelf is pretty high," she called out.

He emerged with two pillows. "Unnecessary."

"Damn. Tall men are so handy."

He helped her adjust the pillows so she could sit up comfortably. "Do you need anything else?"

Kagome looked around the room mischievously. "Well, since you asked…my ice melted. Can you get me some fresh ice water? And my cell phone. It's in the black bag by the door, and don't go digging around in it." She ignored his as-if-I'd-care eye roll. "Sango doesn't know that I got sick, and I need to complain to her about how close I came to dying. And can you give me my laptop? It's on the trunk. I should at least try to clear out my inbox. And can you plug it in? The outlet's behind the dresser."

He stared at her a moment; one more request would have sent him out, leaving her to fend for herself. He bent over to plug in her computer, and Kagome craned her neck to get a better view.

_Nice ass_.

When he came back with the water and phone, she tried to put on a straight face. "Something's wrong with the A/C. Can you try to plug it into the outlet by the bookcase?"

The ill-repressed grin made him suspect that she was up to something, but he had no idea she was creating another opportunity to ogle his backside. Rin shared his confusion; Kagome's computer was working perfectly well.

"Anything else before I get to work?" He was almost afraid to ask.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru said he would stay here and watch three AMVs with me if I let him work afterwards. I'm gonna draw some pictures for Grandmother and Grandfather and stay out of his hair. I promised." Rin crossed her heart to demonstrate her earnestness.

Kagome patted her head and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I'd love some hot tea…if you're still offering. Maybe an oolong? I've got several varieties in a cabinet."

He sighed. "I just gave you ice water."

"They both feel good on my throat."

While Sesshoumaru was happy to help her get comfortable, he couldn't help but feel that she was enjoying this a little too much.

Rin looked at her and suddenly Kagome made sense. She was reacting to being somewhat reliant on him by teasing, and Rin recalled something her father said frequently. _Why can't you damn independent women just admit when you need help instead of busting my balls?_ She never knew what balls he was talking about, but the situation was familiar. She followed her uncle into the kitchen to test his reaction.

Kagome decided it was as good a time as any to finish her column. Her illness had ruined her work-Rin-sleep balance, and if she thought about how far behind she was getting in preparation for her art show, she knew an anxiety attack would be forthcoming. But if she was forced to be bedridden for the time being, she reasoned, she could try to be somewhat productive.

_Dear Scarlet, I'm a gay man in my early thirties. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for nine months. The non-sexual part of the relationship is very satisfying. We have several common passions and similar interests. The problem is the sex life. He doesn't like to be penetrated anally, which I respect, but, well, the problem is that he is horrible at blowjobs. And he's not interested in improving. I can tell he's just going through the motions, getting it over with, which is a total boner killer. In fact I get the feeling that he'd be fine with us just being happy celibates who grow old together (he's more or less said as much). I'm not fine with this. If I were fifty maybe, but I feel I've got lots of good sex to experience before loss of libido sets in. My question is: how shallow and stupid would I be to break up with a great guy because I want to orgasm from stimulation other than porn? Am I selfish? Should I tell him I love him, but if he wants to stay with me, he should be able to deal with the fact that I may seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere? Signed, Cockblocked by My Own Boyfriend _

_Dear Cockblocked, My primary, good-relationship-preserving instinct compels me to say, "You need to talk with your BF. Tell him how important a decent sex life is to you and that you are unsatisfied and suggest perhaps he should seek medical/psychological help because, though many people have a rock-bottom libido, he may be suffering from some undiagnosed ailment." But honestly…I think he is the selfish one. He wants to have his cuddly, safe relationship and eat the no-sex cake too. Unfortunately for his scenario, he picked the wrong guy. Don't feel bad/like an asshole—it is in no way unreasonable to want a partner who can give and receive in bed…or at least fake it convincingly. If you do bring up fucking other people though, be sure it comes across not as a hollow threat, but as the only way you can see yourself staying happily with him. But I'd like to ask you, Cockblocked, wouldn't you rather have the person with whom you are having mind-blowing orgasms also be the same person with whom you go to the movies, eat breakfast, and shop for furniture? If your relationship with your boyfriend is so wonderful that keeping your sexuality separate from your life with him is worth the potentially troubling disconnect, then stay and try to work it out. But something tells me that you two aren't necessarily meant to be, and unless your passions and interests are collecting Nazi paraphernalia and pulling the legs off insects or something equally off-putting, you both should have no problem finding more suitable partners. And by the way, fifty isn't old. _

Kagome heard Sesshoumaru coming into her room and quickly minimized the window. He had a ceramic teapot and was followed by Rin, who was carrying a cup and looking at her suspiciously.

"What are you hiding?" she said, voice full of child-sized indignation.

"Nothing," Kagome squeaked. "You forgot the honey."

"You didn't tell me you wanted honey."

"Can I have some honey? Please."

Sesshoumaru, eager to get to work, poured her a cup of tea and, rather than argue, went to the kitchen again.

Rin stared at Kagome. The girl learned, during her time in the kitchen watching Sesshoumaru make tea, that he wasn't mad at Kagome, in fact he seemed a tiny bit amused and she knew he still liked her, even more than before. Unfortunately Kagome, in Rin's judgment, was not being cooperative, and this annoyed her greatly. "You're not being nice."

Rin's stern fierceness reminded her so much of her mother, she felt like she was a teenager again, getting busted for having cigarettes in her purse. "He secretly likes it," Kagome said lamely in her defense.

Her niece wasn't so sure that that was still the case.

Sesshoumaru returned with the jar of honey. "We'll be in the living room if you need anything."

"Hey, before you get back to work, can you bring me some yogurt? Maybe with a little granola and a few berries? My appetite's coming back."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Her repeated demands, sweet and fun at first, were beginning to wear on him.

"Because I can," she responded, avoiding looking at Rin. "You don't want me to get a yeast infection, now do you? Don't worry, I'll cook you dinner or something to make up for all the servitude."

"You have a pretty high opinion of your culinary skills," he said dryly.

"Thanks!" Kagome watched them leave, wondering why Rin was angry with her and what she was up to.

XxXxX

Kagome hit STOP just as Flora, Fauna, Merryweather were enchanting the kingdom, safe to sleep until the curse placed on the spindle-pricked beauty could be broken by true love's first kiss. "I think she finally lost the fight." They had been watching Rin, curled up in Sesshoumaru's lap, struggling to stay awake for the past half hour. She had rallied during the musical number when Aurora sang "Once Upon A Dream" and danced with the forest animals, but the heavy weight of her tired eyes became too much to bear when the hypnotized princess walked through the castle to her doom. "I'm glad I had her brush her teeth before we started the movie."

Sesshoumaru adjusted the blanket around the child; he had thought he had finally become used to Rin's size, how she so perfectly fit in his lap and the delicacy of her sleep-softened features, but watching her slumber in his arms, he realized his heart would never be completely immune from the beautiful pang, the perfect ache that comes from loving a child. "I hate to move her. She looks so peaceful."

"Don't worry about waking her. She's out." Kagome lifted one of Rin's arms and let it drop like a floppy anvil to demonstrate. "I think you could hang her upside down and she would stay asleep."

Sesshoumaru nodded. "I'll be back." He stood and carried Rin to bed, leaving Kagome alone on the couch to think about what she wanted to happen next.

All afternoon she continued to feel better, even getting a little work in, all done under Sesshoumaru's watchful eye and strict admonitions not to become overtired. Later he left and brought them back Chinese takeout from an upscale place that Kagome rarely felt she could afford. They spread her Seasons watercolor quilt on the living room floor and had a picnic, the rain outside keeping them indoors, and smiled at each other as Rin tried to learn to use chopsticks. Kagome watched with a lump in her throat as Sesshoumaru's capable, graceful hands covered the girl's tiny ones, patiently correcting, repositioning until she became confident, insistent upon shunning a fork and copying them.

And now the magic was over; she didn't need to be taken care of and Rin was asleep. Her ill-timed bout with strep, which had monopolized his entire weekend, was for all intents and purposes finished, and she knew she should let him go and try to salvage the remainder of the Sunday evening, but she selfishly wanted him to stay. Because of their demanding work schedules, they hadn't spent much time together without Rin or without Kagome being completely worthless since he had returned from his trip, and she missed the way they had been beginning to connect as friends. She got up, setting the embroidery she had been working on while watching Sleeping Beauty aside, and opened a bottle of wine.

"So I see you must be feeling better," Sesshoumaru said when he returned from Rin's room. "Are you sure you wouldn't be better served by drinking tea instead of wine?"

Kagome grinned, taking note of the lightness and teasing in the timbre of his voice. It was welcome after the scolding she had received when he caught her trying to take several heavy bolts of fabric down from a shelf in her studio, and she was sure he extracted a certain pleasure in seeing her trying to defend herself in light of the unreasonable requests she had made, starting with ice water and continuing with numerous electrical failings and pillows needing fluffed. "I drank at least a gallon of tea today. A little glass of wine won't hurt anything. Can I interest you in one? I know you have sacrificed a lot looking after us and probably need to get back…" she faltered awkwardly, hating to hear his inevitable goodbye.

"I'd love a glass of wine." Their eyes locked for a brief moment before Kagome turned and poured a second, happy glass of zinfandel. She didn't know he wanted an invitation to stay as much as she wanted an excuse to offer one. They sat on the couch, this time absent a little girl who managed to focus all attention on her and now they were alone together…without the child who linked them. Kagome floundered for a painful second before Sesshoumaru, always detached and collected said, "I'm glad you are on the mend. The drugs seem to have worked."

"Yeah. Thank god for antibiotics." She smiled guiltily. "Sorry about all the demands and…silliness earlier today. I guess I thought feeling better gave me permission to be a brat."

"So I don't need to call an electrician tomorrow?"

Her face reddened, and she quickly picked up her embroidery to avoid his penetrating amber eyes. "Ah…no. That was my celibate, sick person version of a booty call."

"Should I be offended?"

"Please don't be. I'm really quite harmless." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, wishing he was easier to read. "I hope Rin let you get some work done."

"She was much less high maintenance than her aunt." He paused as she nudged him with her elbow. "I actually had a relatively productive afternoon. We came to an arrangement that I'd work for an hour, then take a break and watch one of those ridiculous anime things with her. She entertains herself independently rather well."

"Yeah, that's my sister's influence."

"She's a charming child, though I've seen shades of Inuyasha in her too."

Kagome smirked at the inference. "Oh, she's definitely _both_ her parents' progeny." She sipped her wine. "Hey, would you like to see the video of when she was born? I found it the other day when I was digging around in the storage unit. I've never watched it, and I've been meaning to put it on. Bank was there with his camera, and he said he planned to edit it to half an hour or so. There's nothing bloody…other than a newborn. They come out kinda messy. But I'll warn you now; the likelihood is strong that I'll need a good cry before it's over. Just ignore me."

Sesshoumaru's time spent with Rin had piqued his curiosity about his brother. She talked about him—his likes and dislikes, quirky habits—frequently and with adoration, and the prospect of another glimpse into Inuyasha's adult life, one he had known so little about, despite their close blood relation, grabbed him. He wanted to know more, to continue to discover the complex man his brother grew into. And seeing his niece come into the world only made it better. "You're a little difficult to ignore."

Kagome opened a shoe box and took out a disc labeled RIN'S BIRTH DAY—KAGOME'S COPY. She put it in the DVD, sat back down, and hit PLAY.

_The camera focused on a small, well-kept house with a sign in front that read OPEN HANDS BIRTH CENTER_. PAUSE

"Kikyou really wanted a homebirth, but insurance wouldn't cover it, so she went on a quest and interviewed three dozen OBs and midwives and visited every hospital and birth center in the region. Inuyasha thought she'd lost her mind. She picked Open Hands because it seemed like the most low-tech, low intervention option, and their transfer rate was small. Which was fine with me. I'm not a fan of hospitals." PLAY

_The door of the house opened, and Inuyasha stepped out. _

"_Any baby yet?" Bank asked._

"_Nope. It'll be awhile." _

"_Give me an update."_

"_Let's go sit down. Good thing it hasn't gotten too cold yet." They walked around the back to a flower garden, setting sun visible in the background, and sat on a bench. "She felt some contractions last night when we went to bed, so of course we were both way too excited to get much sleep. It was kinda nice just lying there together though, talking and…stuff." Inuyasha blushed and turned his gaze from the camera._

"_Sorry, the idea of sex with a pregnant woman makes me nauseous."_

_Inuyasha scowled. "The idea of sex with any woman makes you nauseous. Anyway, so things picked up this morning when we went for a walk, but still no big deal...she could talk during contractions and said it wasn't bad. I made her breakfast, and she was joking around with Kagome, coming up with goofy baby names and shit. Kagome had some errands to run, and Kikyou told her to go do them and come back soon. So I'm left alone with her and what happens five minutes later? Her fucking water broke and all hell came undone. All the sudden the contractions started coming faster and she was in pain a lot more than she had been, and of course dumbass Kagome forgot her cell phone." _PAUSE

"I was Kikyou's doula; I took classes and got certified and everything. I promised I would be there for her when she needed me—"

"What's a doula?"

"Labor assistant."

"You mean the person who chants push and counts to ten?"

"Nothing like that actually," she said flatly. PLAY

"_Kikyou was starting to freak because it hurt so much, and I forgot everything we learned in childbirth classes. I've never felt so scared and worthless in my life. Kikyou is normally so chill, and here she is losing it and I can't do a damn thing to help her. Kagome got back a half hour later and thank fucking god for that. She's the one who knows all the different things to try for coping with labor. She swooped in and got Kikyou breathing and calmed down, then she drove us here. Juliette, the midwife, listened to the heartbeat and said everything sounded great. That was around one this afternoon. What time is it now? I don't even have a clue."_

"_Four o'clock."_

"_Damn. She's been at the really hard stuff for a couple hours." He leaned back and stretched a little. "Doing great though. The way she is connected with Kagome is beautiful. I'm so glad she's here to support her. I don't know if it's those classes she took or that weird twin thing they do sometimes, but it's like Kagome knows exactly what's coming next and what Kikyou needs."_

"_So what are _you_ doing? Watching football?"_

_Inuyasha frowned. "I'm not some insensitive jerk-off."_

"_No TV in the room?" _

"_Nope." He laughed. "I wouldn't be watching it anyway; the games on TV today suck. Thank god we'll be home tomorrow night for the Oakland game." They both laughed, though somewhat tinged by what could be interpreted as guilt for being born male. "But seriously…I should get back to the birthing room."_

_The scene switched to a candle-lit, comfortable room with a big bed, rocking chair, and sofa. Enya was heard coming from the CD player on the dresser. The only things that made it look different from a normal bedroom were a huge ball and an odd contraption that looked like a U-shaped stool. Kikyou and Kagome were standing by a large window, the former resting her head on the latter's shoulder, breathing deeply together. Kikyou's long hair was tied back in a low ponytail, and she was wearing a red silk robe; Kagome, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, still had the faint purple in her hair from Halloween._

"_Look at them," Inuyasha said softly. "I can't tell you how many times I saw them like that when Kagome was going through her troubles. I'd wake up in an empty bed and would find Kikyou curled up with Kagome on her bed, stroking her hair, whispering in her ear. And now Kagome's the one giving comfort. Goddam, I love those two crazy, stubborn, amazing Higurashi chicks so fucking much."_

Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome, the tears in her eyes just beginning to spill out and roll down her cheeks. "Kagome, are you okay?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm good," she said, voice quavering.

_Kikyou lifted her head from her sister's shoulder and sighed. "That one was rough. I'm so tired," she said weakly. "I can't do this, Kagome." She shook her head. "It's too much."_

_Kagome put her arm around Kikyou's waist and started walking with her. "You _are _doing this, honey. You can. You are. You're doing great. This is the worst and you're getting through it fabulously. You're strong…you're _perfect_. And you're going to be holding your baby soon."_

_Kikyou looked up and saw the men in the doorway. "Inuyasha…I need you."_

_He rushed to her side, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hurts."_

"_I know."_

"_I feel like when I ride a rollercoaster with you. I'm so freaked out, but I can't get off. And this is a really long, pain-filled rollercoaster."_

_Inuyasha laughed gently. "I'm here, babe. I'm here."_

_Kagome walked toward the camera. "Hey Bank."_

"_How is she holding up?"_

"_She's so strong. I couldn't do it." She handed Inuyasha a glass of water from a nearby table, and he helped Kikyou drink. "I don't feel her physical pain, but I feel her confusion, her panic. And dude, it's fucking intense. I'm so proud of her. I don't think I can ever do what she's doing." She turned and looked at her sister and brother-in-law as he rubbed her lower back and she breathed. "Look at them," Kagome echoed Inuyasha's earlier statement. "Such different personalities…night and day in a lot of ways, but they balance each other. Like Yin and Yang embodied in two people. Two people bringing something totally new into the insanity that is this world. What a beautiful, stupid, necessary thing." _

_The camera focused on the couple. Kikyou had her eyes tightly closed, face contorted in pain. Inuyasha rubbed light, small circles on her lower back. _

_Kikyou thrashed her head from side to side harshly. "I need something else!" _

_Kagome zipped into action and led her sister to the large ball. "Let's try the birthing ball again." She breathed with her until the contraction was over. "Do you want to sit on it?" _

"_Kneel." _

_They got on the floor, and Kagome draped her sister over the ball and showed Inuyasha where to rub her lower back, the specific place, the pressure needed. She went on the other side of the ball and grasped Kikyou's hands. "Just relax for now. You're doing great. Squeeze my hands when you feel a contraction."_

_Kikyou melted into the ball briefly, then tensed and arched her back. _

"_Now." She nodded to Inuyasha. "Kikyou, breathe."_

_Inuyasha rubbed as Kagome chanted encouragements. After a minute they all relaxed again, and Kikyou looked over her shoulder at her husband. "Rub harder, okay? As hard as you can. It helps." _

_The video cut to a side view of Kikyou sitting on the U-shaped chair, legs wide apart, looking much calmer. Inuyasha, seated on the sofa, was directly behind her, supporting her weight with his body. Sitting on the floor was a red-headed woman in front of Kikyou and Kagome next to her. _PAUSE

Kagome laughed and wiped away tears. "Kikyou totally had Bank edit out the part where she puked. And the part where she was convinced she was going to die and begged Inuyasha and me to get married for the sake of the baby. My sister was always so in control…for something to be happening to her body that she had absolutely no way of controlling had her pretty flipped out. And I guess she didn't want any visible evidence. That woman is the midwife, and, if I'm not mistaken, Rin should be making an appearance soon. Kikyou's second stage was only twenty minutes or so." PLAY

_The camera focused on Kikyou and Inuyasha. _

"_I feel another one," she said, hands tightly gripping the sides of the chair._

"_Okay, honey," Juliette said, "breathe your baby down. Great pushing, great breathing. That's it…just like that."_

_Kikyou continued to push, breathing deeply, face intense with the effort. Inuyasha whispered in her ear, his hands covering hers. After a minute she relaxed again, looking triumphant._

"_I like this better. I finally feel like I'm doing something." _

_Inuyasha helped her recline a bit, resting on him, and he held a damp cloth to her flushed face._

"_You're doing wonderfully. Just rest in between," the midwife said._

_Kikyou turned and kissed Inuyasha. "We still haven't agreed on any names."_

_He grinned. "Well, I guess that means it's Pinhead if it's a boy and Freddy if it's a girl."_

_She laughed. "You persist in this fantasy that I'd let you name a child after a horror movie villain."_

"_C'mon! He…or she would be the coolest kid on the playground. You know you wanna." He hugged her closer to him. "How you feel?" he asked gently._

"_Getting tired, but good." She sighed and relaxed deeper into his arms._

"_Pushing is hard, tiring work," the midwife said, "You're doing great."_

_Kikyou nodded. "Another one."_

_Inuyasha pushed her so she was sitting up again, holding her around the chest. Kikyou breathed deeply and slowly, eyes shut tight. This pattern continued for several more contractions. _

"_I see the head," the midwife announced. "Kikyou, slow down. Just keep the deep breathing and don't bear down." A minute later she said, "The head's out!"_

_The angle of the camera didn't show much of what was going on below Kikyou's waist. "Oh my god!" Kagome exclaimed from off-camera. "Tons of black hair."_

"_Figures," Inuyasha said, kissing his wife's sweaty brow._

"_Here's a shoulder…and the rest!" The midwife lifted a small, pink, bloody body with a full head of black hair and placed it into Kikyou's waiting arms. The baby opened wide and, after a long moment of silence, let loose a sound, sort of a strangled howl of protest that brought tears to the new parents' eyes. The midwife quickly covered the baby with a soft towel, rubbing lightly, and wiped the tiny, angry face._

_Kikyou sighed shakily and smiled at Inuyasha. "Look at what we made."_

"_Nah…it was all you, babe," he said, voice cracking with emotion. "Should we look?"_

_Kikyou lifted the towel and peeked. She and Inuyasha looked at each, smiling, then at Kagome. "Girl," they said together. _

_Kagome squealed and burst into tears._

_Kikyou eased her robe open so that she and the baby were touching bare skin against bare skin. She stared at her screaming infant and lightly stroked a round, red cheek, mesmerized. "Rin. Her name is Rin."_

_Inuyasha nodded. "I can live with that."_

"_Let's get you into bed and that baby sucking," Juliette said. "What time is it? Anyone?"_

"_Five thirty-three," Bank said._

_Inuyasha helped Kikyou walk the short distance to the bed, as Kagome turned the blankets down. Once Kikyou was lying back on a mountain of pillows, Inuyasha and Kagome, who had just gotten a hold of herself, embraced._

"_Hey Daddy," Kagome managed to say before she started crying anew._

_The midwife put a knit hat on Rin and helped guide her mouth onto a nipple. "Nice latch-on. See the tip of her little tongue? And the way her jaw is working as she sucks? Look for that every time. I'll be here to help, but so far she's nursing like a pro."_

_The camera cut out and refocused on Kikyou lying down, now-swaddled baby attached to a breast and the midwife massaging her abdomen. _PAUSE

"He cut out the part where she delivered the placenta and cut the cord. And the part where she looked in between her legs with a mirror. I told her not to…but would she listen? I thought she was going to pass out. Sooo not pretty. I'm talking Axe Wound. Right now the midwife is getting her uterus to shrink and firm up. Fortunately it all went well. Normal amount of blood loss, _and_ she had an intact perineum." She looked at Sesshoumaru, who seemed a little pale, and decided not to explain, remembering the two men in the birth room, their ashen skin tone and profound discomfort with the confrontation of the less cuddly aspects of childbirth. "They weighed and measured her. Juliette had this cool sling-scale thingy so Rin and Kikyou never had to be separated. Eight pounds, four ounces. Nineteen inches." PLAY

"_Inuyasha?" Kikyou said. "She's fallen asleep. Come hold your baby."_

_Inuyasha, sitting on the bed next to his wife, hesitantly held out his large, calloused hands. They carefully transferred their precious bundle from one set of arms to another, mindful of the vulnerable head and neck. Inuyasha looked distinctly terrified, then after a minute gained confidence and cradled her close. He sniffed loudly, face hidden by his long hair, fallen over a shoulder. The camera zeroed in on Rin's face. She woke with a grimace, but blinked her eyes open and looked at him instead of crying. "I'll be damned…Taisho eyes. Hi, Rin." He loosened the tight blanket, freeing her arms, making her look like less of a pod. He picked up a hand and examined the tiny fingers. "I'm your Daddy. We've been waiting a long time to meet you. I'm gonna love you forever." He kissed the hand and tucked her arm back into the blanket and adjusted the cap to cover her head better. "Oi, Kagome. Your arms are empty."_

_Kagome stepped forward and sat on the edge of the bed. She blew her nose and took the baby. "She looks like both of you. She's perfect." Kagome lost the battle with her keeping her emotions in check and didn't bother to hold back tears. "Look!" she gasped with delight. "She already knows how to yawn. I think she's falling back to sleep. I think she likes me."_

"_Of course she likes you, idiot," Inuyasha said. "You're the best."_

_There was a soft knock at the door, and Miroku and Sango entered, carrying champagne bottles. Congratulations were offered, sleeping baby-bundle was passed, toasts were made. Rin back safe in her father's arms, the midwife helped Kikyou to the bathroom to take a shower, and Bank announced he needed to step out and make some phone calls. The screen went blank briefly, then came back into focus. It was the dark backyard, and Kagome was looking at the moon and smoking a cigarette. The camera was to the back of her and no one else was there._

"Hmm. Look at me smoking. I don't remember this part. I guess I didn't know Bank was there."

_Inuyasha stepped into the garden. "You disappeared."_

_She looked at him. "Just indulging in my disgusting habit. I've got less than two months before I quit, so…here I am."_

_Inuyasha stood next to Kagome. "Did you see Miroku when he held Rin? I think he'd get Sango knocked up tonight if she'd let him."_

"_Yeah," Kagome laughed. "Sango is more career oriented. Or at least she wants them both to be out of grad school and law school."_

"_She's smart. They can wait a few years." Inuyasha put his arm around her. "How are you?" he asked seriously._

_Kagome looked away. "Fucked up. Fucked up."_

"_Talk to me."_

_She heaved a sigh. "Pay no attention. Please. I'm just tired and emotional and feeling sorry for myself."_

"_I realized that. Talk to me."_

_Kagome took a long drag on her cigarette and shook her head. "What you said before. My arms will _always_ be empty. I'll never have what you two have. I'm broken."_

"_Kagome." He tightened his grip. "You're not broken; you never were. You're healing from something shitty, but you were never broken."_

"_Sometimes I feel like I'm paralyzed. I'm strong enough not to go back, but too afraid to move forward. Mostly it's enough; I'm satisfied. But times like tonight…I feel like I want a normal relationship, but I'll never be able to have one. I'm just such a fucking chicken shit. I'm scared of life."_

"_You're not. You live constantly, one step at a time, little by little. Kagome, you've survived shit I can't fathom." He grasped her chin and forced her to look at him. "You're the bravest person I know."_

_She buried her face in the hair at his shoulder, and he held her tightly._

"_Now…I want to get back to my wife and kid, but I'm not going to leave you alone. You are as important to me as they are. Buck up, be a happy camper. You've got a niece to coo over, and I need to call my brother. I'm hoping Mom and Dad will finally come visit."_

"_I love you."_

_He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too."_

_She crushed her cigarette out and threw it in a nearby trash can, and they walked away._

"_Kagome," Bank's voice said, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just thought you looked pretty and started filming you. I'll make sure that little exchange is only on your copy." The screen went blank._

Kagome stared at the screen, stricken. She covered her face with her hands, and Sesshoumaru pulled into his lap and let her cry.

"I miss them."

"I know."

Kagome gradually stopped sobbing, but neither of them moved. She continued to lean against him, head on his shoulder, face pressed into the side of his neck; he continued to stroke her hair.

"So…everything is going back to normal tomorrow." Her voice sounded sad. "Back to the office. Back to the studio. I've got so much to do, I don't know when I'm going to sleep."

"Lack of sleep is probably what got you sick. You need to take care of yourself or this will happen again," he said rationally, praying she wouldn't try to sit up. "My parents are coming back tomorrow, and I'm certain they'll want to spend as much time with Rin as they can. You'll have plenty of time to work without killing yourself."

"I don't know how I'm going to ever thank you for all you've done this weekend." She shifted her position, aware of the intimate contact, the places their bodies were touching. She ignored the potential implications and complications and simply took comfort in his presence and enjoyed his fingers lightly combing through her hair. "I know it really messed up your work and god knows what else. I hope you didn't have a date or something that you had to cancel."

"I got enough done today that tomorrow will be entirely manageable. I'm just glad I was here to help. I missed a Kendo workout, but other than that, I most likely would have just wanted to spend time with Rin. And you."

Kagome raised her head and looked into his deep golden eyes. "Sesshoumaru, I need you to know something. I miss your brother incredibly. Painfully. Like he's some kind of phantom limb or something. But I need you to know, I'm not trying to recreate him in you. I like you for who you are. I'm happy we're friends." She laid her head back on his shoulder.

"Me too," he said honestly. "And I'm glad my brother had you in his life. It was nice to see him so happy." He was silent a moment, content to hold her as long as she was willing to be held. "I have to leave the country again soon."

"When?" she asked quietly.

"In a week."

"For how long?"

"At least two weeks. Maybe three."

"That's a long time." She half sat up, looking distressed. "You're going to miss the zombie walk. I was really looking forward to dressing you up and putting fake blood all over you."

He laughed. "I don't think so."

She laughed with him. "I'll have to settle for Halloween. You'll make a perfect Kimimaro with your hair color."

His laughter ceased; she seemed seriously intent on dressing him up. "No."

"Aw come on. There's hardly any make-up involved, just a little red eyeliner, and the clothes are just black pants and a loose shirt…that keeps slipping down. It'll give you a chance to show off your manly pecs and shoulders." She was teasing him again.

"No."

"Ooo…okay then, Sephiroth," she said, even more excited. "No make-up, just lots of black leather and an absurdly long sword."

"Kagome, you don't seem to understand. People in my position don't dress up on Halloween."

"What_ever_! You'll change your mind when I show you a picture of him and you realize how perfect—"

"_No_. Now stop."

The intimate spell was broken. Kagome got up and stretched.

"I suppose I should get to bed."

"I should get home too. I need to be at the office early."

"Thanks again for all you've done for me and Rin. And thanks for taking me to the doctor. I was pretty out of it. All I remember was that he was a hottie. I didn't do anything embarrassing, did I?"

He recalled her drug and blow job comments. "You? Of course not."

She looked at him suspiciously as they walked to the door. "Obi, come." She let the dog out. "Thanks for staying with me. I'm glad I didn't have to cry alone. Sorry I got your shirt wet."

"Thank you for sharing the video with me. Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Good night." She gave him a hug and quick kiss on the cheek.

He wasn't sure precisely what it was about that moment, but it was then that he realized that he had fallen in love.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own Walt Disney's Sleeping Beauty or any characters from Hellraiser, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Naruto, or Final Fantasy VII. Thank you for reading this ridiculously long chapter. _


	23. Airports, Art, and Scarlet Exposed

Rin decided, though her experience with them was limited to this one, first visit, that airports were the best places in the world. It went beyond her current excitement, waiting for her uncle's delayed flight to land, and her eagerness to see him again. The mixture of emotions that bounced around—heartfelt goodbyes, tearful reunions, anger and annoyance of travelers stuck in the security line—were a constant, busy reminder that the world, even the part of it confined to this sprawling, loud building, was alive and she had a place in it. The fact that nearly everyone in the vicinity looked down on her with approval of obvious sweetness and smiled to the person next to him or her, commenting softly about 'what a precious child' only made the airport in which she and Kagome found themselves waiting all the more enjoyable.

She went over to her aunt, who was still sitting on the floor, still entranced by the huge, clear plastic box containing the confiscated items of uninformed or overly optimistic flyers. She tapped Kagome on the shoulder.

"Hey babe," she said. "Can you believe someone tried to bring a crow bar on a plane?" Kagome, unable to tear her eyes away from the mass of seized possessions for a half an hour, grabbed Rin and pulled her into her lap. At first, examining the contents provided a distraction from her nervousness about Sesshoumaru's return, but she was quickly drawn to the sheer variety and absurdity of the objects. There were, what she assumed to be, the usual suspects—lighters, bottles of alcohol, pocket knives. But it was the truly surprising finds—nunchucks, bottle rockets, snow globes, a meat cleaver, several baseball bats—that fascinated her. Then the objects took on a life of their own and she imagined all the stories attached…the heavy smoker unable to light up after a flight, the souvenir bottle of wine that couldn't be drank, the heirloom Swiss Army knife, lost forever.

"You're boring, Kagome. Why do you keep looking at this stuff?"

"Not boring, honey. Look at all of it! There's a chemistry set, for heaven's sake." Kagome looked at Rin, who was visibly unimpressed, and determined that childhood patience could only be expected to stretch so far. They had arrived at the airport an hour before, only to discover a last-minute delay of Sesshoumaru's flight, and Rin had entertained herself well, watching planes take-off and land and flirting with strangers in her innocent, child-like way, but she needed more interaction now. "Let's play a game," Kagome said. "I spy with my little eye…something red."

That's better, Rin thought. She scanned the items. "The scissors with the red handles?"

Kagome made a face. "That was an easy one. Your turn."

"I spy with my little eye…um…something yellow."

They went back and forth, choosing the mostly brightly colored and easily spotted objects, until they were left with only anonymous-looking knives and toiletry bottles larger than the target three ounces.

"Kagome, how much longer do we have to wait?"

She craned her neck to look at the Arrivals board. "Oh look! His flight just got here!"

As they scrambled to their feet and hurried to the stern orange line beyond which non-ticketed persons were not allowed to pass, Kagome, now deprived of her distraction, suddenly was awash with anxiety again. Sesshoumaru had been out of the country for two and a half weeks, and during that time he had emailed her only twice and the few times he responded to her messages, it was with a one or two sentence reply. Kagome tried to tell herself it was because he was busy, that the friendship and connection they had was not her imagination, that he wasn't the cold person she had known that spring. But self-doubt, an enemy she usually could ignore, gnawed at her.

Rin, who had been so good for so long, was bubbling with barely contained exuberance. Kagome explained taxiing and deboarding, reassuring her that Sesshoumaru probably rode first class and would be one of the first let off the plane. Those few minutes were intolerable to Rin, so when she saw him, his height and unusual coloring making him impossible to miss in a crowd, she hopped down from the chair on which she stood and, before Kagome could stop her, ran toward him, orange line and security detail, be damned.

Sesshoumaru saw the diminutive, dark-haired girl charging toward him and managed to set down his laptop case in time to scoop her up as she jumped.

Rin twined her arms around her uncle's neck possessively; he was back, and, though she understood he was a busy person, she had no intentions of letting him go.

Sesshoumaru stood still and simply focused on the girl in his arms, her face, soft and warm, buried in his neck; her familiar tininess and energy were a needed remedy, comfort after non-stop business meetings and a mind-numbing series of flights. "How's my girl?"

Rin tightened her grip briefly, then drew back to look at him. Once satisfied that he hadn't changed, she said, "Good."

"Shouldn't you be in school right now?"

"Kagome said I could take today off and come to the airport with her."

"I'm glad," he said. "I couldn't ask for a better welcoming." Laptop retrieved, he shifted her weight to one arm and began walking, without setting her down. "I missed you."

Rin squealed. "I missed you so much!" She pushed her face into his neck again. "Did you bring me a present?"

"Of course. You'll have to wait at least until baggage claim though." They strode through the crowd, slowly making their way out of the corridor, then he saw Kagome.

The past two plus weeks had been an experiment, an opportunity to discern if his feelings for her were real or if he had merely idealized and romanticized the situation when he spent the weekend at the guest house because of her illness. Thinking his absence would give him the necessary space to test himself, he purposely had little contact with her, and even tried to rekindle his crush on a certain advice columnist by reading Scarlet Letter'd archives online, but he knew he far preferred flesh and blood to his imagination. Now seeing her, standing nervously, chewing on her lower lip, he was convinced not only that his feelings went far beyond friendship and physical attraction; also there was truth to the old cliché about the heart growing fonder.

When they finally escaped the crowd, Sesshoumaru wrapped his free arm around Kagome and wordlessly pulled her close, as if apologizing for his figurative distance.

She gasped at the sudden, unexpected embrace, but quickly relaxed against him. The strong arm around her shoulders told her everything she needed to know—nothing had changed. Their friendship was real, and she hadn't read him wrong.

"You guys are squishing me," Rin said, happy to be in the middle of a group hug, but judging it had gone on long enough.

"Hi," Kagome said with a warm smile when he finally released her.

"Hello, Kagome."

"How was your trip?"

"Successful. I shouldn't need to go back until next year."

"Yay!" Rin shouted. "I don't like it when you leave."

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted.

Kagome turned and saw an elderly couple nearby.

"I was standing with the dear child watching the planes a little while ago," the woman said, "and I've never seen such a beautiful family. Your daughter is a perfect angel."

Kagome knew Rin was confused about how to answer, whether to correct the assumption or graciously give thanks, so she quickly said, "Thank you! Yes, she is a wonderful child. Have a nice day."

They began walking together toward baggage claim, Sesshoumaru still carrying his niece, who had grown uncharacteristically quiet.

"Rin Rin," Kagome said, "is something wrong?"

Rin shrugged her shoulders. "Are you guys my new Mommy and Daddy?" she asked, voice small. That wasn't the first time someone had mistaken her aunt and uncle for her parents, and though she loved it when the three of them were together, she suddenly felt guilty, like she was betraying her real parents by wanting to be with Sesshoumaru _and_ Kagome all the time.

The adults exchanged concerned, awkward glances. "No, sweetie," Kagome said gently. "Kikyou and Inuyasha will always be Mommy and Daddy. And we will always be your aunt and uncle who love very much."

Rin nodded, relieved. Kagome's explanation was simple, but it helped.

As they rode the escalators and moving sidewalks, Rin brightened and told Sesshoumaru about events that occurred while he was gone, including a report on Shippou's skill at imitating their new teacher, her sneaking suspicion that her grandfather was letting her win at Crazy Eights, and a play-by-play retelling of the most recent zombie walk. "Kagome dressed me up like Dawn from Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, but as a zombie, with blood and guts all over me. See…" Rin put on her best expression of slack-jawed malevolence, causing Sesshoumaru to be grateful he wasn't drinking anything. "She even took my Piplup plushie and put fake blood on him, so I was Zombie Dawn with Zombie Piplup. But don't worry…she got him clean."

Kagome avoided looking at the man next to her and, especially, the child in his arms. Zombie Piplup was actually hiding under her futon mattress. All her best efforts at purging the fake blood—vinegar, baking soda, peroxide, soap, makeup remover—did nothing, necessitating an emergency trip to several stores that sell Pokémon dolls in order to find a replacement Piplup. Fortunately he was a popular enough character that he was generally kept in stock; Kagome shuddered at the tragedy that was averted, hating to imagine Rin's reaction to a permanent Zombie Piplup.

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru asked, "how have you been?"

"Busy," she sighed. "And about to get worse. That art show was originally to be me and a watercolorist, but I was told yesterday that she's dropping out because of a personal issue, so it's all me. A solo show is a fabulous opportunity, but it also means I've got to do several more big pieces. I've had to totally clear my social calendar—it's work, work, and more work for me. But you'll be happy to know I've been getting at least four hours of sleep a night."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru didn't think that sounded like an adequate amount. "I hope you didn't have to wait long. Thank you for picking me up, by the way. Much nicer than a driving service."

"Oh, the wait wasn't bad. And it's our pleasure to pick you up. I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise. I needed a little break, though I've got to get back into the studio as soon as we get back. _And_ your mom let me take her car. I know Mercedes are rich, old people cars, but even it needs to get blown out every once in a while. I doubt your mom's ever taken it past the speed limit."

Sesshoumaru smiled to himself at Kagome's risk taking, somewhat hypocritically perturbed that she drove fast with Rin in the car, but mostly hoping that she would want to extend that spirit of adventure to her sheltered, neglected romantic life.

XxXxX

_Dear Scarlet, I have been reading your column for several months and can no longer stay silent. I've had issues with the way you almost always take the man's side over the female for a long time (I've kept track), but two entries recently have pushed me over the edge. I thought your advice a few weeks ago to Cockblocked offensive (You basically told him to dump his boyfriend because he wasn't getting enough sex). I had a baby three months ago and my marital relations still have not returned to normal. Thank God my husband doesn't read your column! I am just so sad for all the other women out there in my position whose husbands just got a free pass from you to leave or cheat because their sex life is more important than their wives' feelings. Your response to Betrayed (the girl who thought her boyfriend's continuing to masturbate after they started having sex felt too much like he was cheating on her) last week was even worse! You wrote and I quote "As long as your physical needs are being met, Betrayed, you have no cause to feel _betrayed_. I could see your point if your BF couldn't get it up to have sex with you or if his solo flights involved an expensive phone hooker, but you gave no indication that those were issues. Masturbation, generally, is a private expression of one's sexuality, and you should not feel threatened by it. The frequency, methods, and circumstances are none of your business. You stated that he treats you well and satisfies you in bed. That should be the end of it. He is not cheating on you, and your demands that he end the behavior are unreasonable; all you will succeed in doing is to drive him to jack-off secretly and lie about it. Self-pleasure is natural and healthy—our arms are a certain length for a very good reason. Get over yourself and count your blessings." I'm sorry Scarlet, but YOU are the one who needs to get over yourself. First of all, have you even thought about all the cultural burdens placed on women and girls to be the ultimate sexual prize? Our culture bombards us with images of the perfect woman and makes us think that if we are perfect, our men will never stray, and if they do, it's our fault. Don't you have any sympathy for Betrayed, who is only part of this culture? You are only perpetuating the problem by encouraging women to accept their boyfriend's bad behavior. You're so anti-woman it's sick. The other thing. Did I understand right? Are you actually saying that God made our arms as long as they are just so we could masturbate? Signed, I Think You're a Bitch _

"Aw, fuck," Kagome said. She was sitting at a sewing table, staring at her laptop screen in disgust. Since returning from the airport, she had been able to make sufficient progress in her work schedule so she felt she could knock out her next column before Rin, having dinner with the Taisho's, would be coming back home to go to bed. She looked at the dog, lying by her feet. "A few easy questions on sex positions was all I asked for. Something that didn't require a whole lot of brain cells. Instead I get this…this…bullshit." Oberon stretched and yawned; he had no opinion. Kagome angrily began to type.

_Dear Bitch, I stand by my advice in both the examples you mentioned. Congratulations on your recent family addition. However, it's not all about _you_. To compare your situation, a married woman with a new baby experiencing normal loss of libido, to Cockblocked, a man who had been with his clearly-not-interested-in-sex boyfriend for less than a year, is nonsensical. Only a complete asshole would take my advice to Cockblocked as a free pass to leave or cheat. Anyone that assholish would do it anyway if he wanted to, so in no way am I going to accept blame for any hypothetical wives suddenly finding themselves abandoned. You also took issue with my response to Betrayed. While I agree that our society and media images objectify girls and women, I don't see how my advice to Betrayed is "perpetuating the problem." If anything, my comments to Betrayed encouraged rejection of the myth of the perfect woman. As far as being "anti-woman" and allegedly favoring the male perspective…unlike you, I don't keep a running tally of Him versus Her, partly because many of the people who write to me are gay, making gender irrelevant, and partly because I'm not an anal retentive douche…so I don't really know how to respond to your charge, other than to say What The Fuck Ever. My definition of Feminist: Someone who believes in gender equality and social justice. Nowhere in that definition does it say women are always right and/or men are always wrong. And sorry, masturbation is not "bad behavior." As stated above, it is natural and healthy, and Betrayed, instead of getting bent out of shape that her BF wants to yank it, should learn to please herself and invite him to watch. Regarding arm length and location of genitals, whether created or evolved, I refuse to believe it's a coincidence._

"Damn column." She sat back and cracked her knuckles. "Damn deadlines."

"Column? Deadline?"

Kagome almost fell off her chair. "Agh!" she screamed, spinning around to see Sesshoumaru and Rin standing in the doorway. "Stop sneaking up on me!" She glared at the useless dog. "Some watch dog you are."

"Shouldn't you be working?"

She slammed her laptop shut. "I am. I mean…I will. I was just taking a short break."

Sesshoumaru hated to take advantage of such an easy target, but couldn't help teasing. "You weren't looking at pornography, were you?"

Kagome blushed bright and hot. "Uh, yeah. Porn. That's what I was doing." She was sure he heard her say something about her column and decided it was better to play along.

"What's porn?" Rin asked wickedly, picking up on Sesshoumaru's cue to embarrass her aunt.

"You already know what porn is, you little scamp. It's your bedtime. Come give me a hug."

Rin rolled her eyes. "Daddy said it's grown-up stuff," she said with a pout. "But lots of stuff is for grown-ups."

Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru for help, with a strong current of you're-the-one-who-started-this.

"Kagome's correct, Rin."

Rin's urge to be naughty was not about to die so quiet a death. "Shippou said porn is when people take off their shirts and kiss with tongues."

"It's your bedtime," both adults said simultaneously.

Rin reluctantly gave up and hugged Kagome good night. "Uncle Sesshoumaru will you still read to me?"

"I wouldn't miss it," he said as they exited, giving Kagome an amused glance over his shoulder.

Kagome exhaled with relief and set her computer aside. Feeling the need to calm down, she put on a Van Cliburn CD, then picked up a wall hanging and arranged boxes of beads.

When Sesshoumaru came back to her studio and knocked softly on the door, she wasn't quite so surprised, having told herself that he would at least say goodnight, but the way he filled the room, quietly commanding attention, still made her heart race. "Did she go to bed okay?"

The question had almost become an alternate way they greeted each other after he put Rin to bed, a question not requiring an answer. "May I see what you're working on?"

"Please, come see. I just started sewing beads on, more or less the final touches. I've got several pieces that are at this stage, but this one has the most complex beadwork, and I wanted to get it done first."

Sesshoumaru examined the fabric panel spread out in front of him. Done with a dark background, it was a representation of a kneeling naked woman, head thrown back, clearly in the throes of ecstasy. "The figure and the colors are very sensual," he observed.

"Thanks, but wait 'til I'm done." A wave of her hand indicated boxes of different sized gold beads. "It's Danaë." She waited, unsure if he would make the connection or would need an explanation.

His lips curved in a lop-sided smile. "I see. Her father was told by an oracle that her child would one day kill him, so he imprisoned her, but without taking Zeus' shape-shifting abilities into consideration."

She was impressed; his knowledge of Greco Roman Mythology wasn't deficient. "Yeah. I'll be adding beads to look like a shower of golden rain. It will curl around her limbs and breasts, collecting at her belly and thighs. I'll probably put some in her hair too. Hope it doesn't turn out too X-rated, but I don't really care. I've wanted to do something erotic for a while now."

He wanted to see more. "Do you often draw inspiration from mythology?"

"Uh yeah, actually…or I used to." Kagome looked into his face and searched his eyes. There was a secret, deeply private part of her, a part that time and healing had made less raw and less dangerous, but it was still something that she guarded carefully. Only her closest, must trusted friends had been given access, and she realized she desperately wanted to include him in that circle. She went to the closet and reached up, bringing out a thick portfolio case. "After my suicide attempt, reclaiming my ability to do art was integral to recovery. At the time, I was trying so hard to get past feeling like a victim, but I kept gravitating toward tragic heroines of mythology and folklore as subject matter." She opened the portfolio and pulled out a stack of wall hangings, each kept separate by a sheet of white muslin. "The first who called to me was Daphne…she had a stalker too. Granted it was the god Apollo, but she still didn't want his attention."

"And her father turned her into a laurel tree so she could escape him," Sesshoumaru added.

Kagome nodded and looked through the pieces, pulling out the object of her search when it was found. The picture, done in multiple layers of fabric, was a colorful tree with long, graceful limbs and a woman's face, beautiful and serene. "So many depictions of Daphne show her mid-transformation, being pursued by Apollo, with an expression of terror. I wanted to focus on her, who she was independent of him, and I imagined that as a tree, she wasn't some tragic figure, robbed of a future of frolicking by a riverbank. She was strong and happy to be safe."

He was touched by the explanation and what was not said aloud. "It's beautiful. There's so much movement in the branches; she seems very much alive."

"Thanks," she said, blushing. "So I went through the myths and literature that I knew from my childhood fascination with them and from university, finding the tragic female figures and exploring the other aspects of them. The ways they rebelled against their situations, what remained of them, what was beautiful about them…anything other than the fact that they were so fucked by men or gods or fate. Eurydice, Semele, Persephone, Echo, Medea, Jocasta."

One by one, she showed him. Some woven, some pieced together fabric, all were intricately embellished with beads and embroidery, telling stories which she described to him in detail.

"I had a lot of trouble with Dido. She succeeded in her suicide," she said quietly. "And I was so _mad_ at her. Queen of Carthage and she stabs herself and jumps on a pyre because her lover left." She showed him a representation of a fire raging on a shoreline, but the black smoke pouring out had a softness to it and sorrowful eyes looking down at a small sailing boat. "I worked out a lot of my anger at her…and just let her be sad. She had a right to her sadness. And so I forgave her."

"You forgave both of you?" he asked gently.

She nodded, grateful he was so perceptive and understood the personal, vulnerable nature of what she was showing him. "Next I went on to Irish folklore and Arthurian legends. Deirdre and Yseult were the characters that stuck with me more than any…they were such amazing women in their wild, fatal attempts to shape their own destiny." She took out two more, the first—an ethereal, shrouded female figure mourning over blood-splattered rocks, the second—a collage of scattered images, all surrounded by embroidered honeysuckle. "Then explored Germanic and Icelandic stories. Sieglinde and Brunhilde. Those two I actually sold to a Wagner fanboy. The kind who goes to Bayreuth every year. He paid a shitload of money and assured me they would be well taken care of." Finished, she began to remake the pile, layering the art with white cloth. "So that is, in a way, a map of my recovery, how I reclaimed myself."

"I assume it worked?" It wasn't really a question, more an invitation for her to continue, should she wish.

"It did. I had felt so isolated, so alone, like no one could possibly understand what I had gone through, and these people were my imaginary friends, but they seemed real. And by exploring their stories and giving them life, I made peace with what happened to me and how I reacted." She shook her head. "I don't think there's anything worse than that feeling of being alone."

He placed his hand next to hers on the table, little fingers touching.

"I have to agree. It's paralyzing."

Kagome heard an unfamiliar, almost unguarded tone in his voice and looked at him quizzically, but said nothing; if he wanted to speak further, he would.

Sesshoumaru saw her waiting patiently, not judging. He had never shared with anyone the way the events of the past had torn him. "I'm sure you can imagine a ten-year-old boy, sent away, hundreds of miles from his family." He paused, reflective. "A seriously screwed up family, but my family nonetheless."

She covered his hand with her own. "How did _you _cope?"

He sighed, his mind heavy with memories. "I was sent to boarding school because my mother was depressed, and my father thought one less child would help. So I tried to think about her getting better, and when I'd be able to come home. With time I got used to it."

Kagome knew she didn't get better for a long time and he only was allowed home for holidays. "Poor little you." She squeezed his hand and, despite her efforts, started crying.

"Kagome…"

"I'm sorry. Just tired. And the buried emotions that these pieces stir up make me extra weepy." She sniffed loudly. "I just wish your family had had someone to step in and fix you all."

"She came eventually." He gathered her close and hoped that she took the same amount of comfort from his presence and nearness as he from hers.

She eased into his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "You give me far too much credit, but thank you. Thank you for letting me share. For understanding."

"You're a talented artist, Kagome. And an incredible person." He tilted her face up and wanted to kiss her, but knew the time wasn't right. "I suppose you need to get back to work."

"I do. And you probably have jet lag from hell," she said lightly, hoping to cast some brevity on the seriousness that surrounded them.

"I won't notice until tomorrow morning when I try to wake up. Kagome, in a few weeks, when your show is done and my work schedule has calmed down, will you have dinner with me?"

Kagome didn't want to ask if it would be dinner with or without Rin. She didn't want to think about the possibility that he wanted more than friendship, that she may have to face her fears of taking chances, that she may disappoint him. "I'd love to have dinner with you." She had become remarkably adept at feigning blindness.

"Good night." He left, but she didn't feel alone; his strength and solidness lingered in the room for a long time and kept her company.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru sat at his office desk, wondering at what point reading the daily international stock exchange report had become so boring to him, when his cell rang. It was Kagome.

"Hey! I was at a friend's warehouse near here using his power tools to cut some dowel rods for hanging my work, and I was wondering if I could drop off some forgotten forms that you could give to Rin's teacher when you pick her up from school today. I would do it, but I'd rather get home and get back to work, and I thought since you're going there later anyway—"

"Kagome," he said, cutting off her babbling, "it's fine."

"I'm in the lobby of your building. Be right up."

A few minutes later, she appeared, dressed in patched jeans and a T-shirt that said 'this is what a feminist looks like.'

"Jeez, the looks I got in the elevator, you'd think I was wearing a burlap sack."

Suddenly Sesshoumaru's mind was flooded with words he had read and things he had noticed. References to age and relationship status; mentions of a married sister close in age; unsubtle hints of sexual experience; sarcasm; humor; insight; laptop slammed shut; the word 'column' slipping out. Individually they meant nothing, but the Scarlet Letter'd he had read the week before combined with the shirt she was currently wearing was like someone had turned the bright light of Truth on for him. "You're Scarlet." It was a statement, sure and confident, not an accusation.

Kagome froze. "Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout."

"You are." A devious, wicked grin slowly formed as his certainty increased. "I don't know why I didn't notice before. You're Scarlet."

Her attempts at nonchalant denial were like a scarlet letter G for Guilty branded on her forehead; it was futile. She numbly sank into a chair. "Okay…okay. But you can't ever tell anyone. _Please_. Only Sango and my editor know."

His head practically spun with the deliciousness of this new knowledge. "Your secret is safe with me."

She straightened and looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Wait a goddam second. You, Sesshoumaru Taisho, mean to tell me, you read my column?"

"Religiously," he answered, locking eyes with her.

"I knew you were a pervert." She flinched, unable to keep up the intensity of their impromptu staring contest. "Well you can't read it anymore. In fact I'd appreciate it if you were to just forget everything you've ever read."

"I'm not going to stop reading anything," he said, amusement clear in his eyes and his voice.

Kagome frowned. He was enjoying this. "You have to. I put really personal stuff in there." She groaned, remembering with horror the column that was devoted to recounting the popping of her anal cherry, and sank back into the chair. "Fuuuuuuuck."

"I won't tell anyone, Kagome, but why all the secrecy?"

"You seriously need to ask?" she said, dumbfounded. "Would you be able to write about details of your sex life without the cover of anonymity? And do you know how many fucking freaks are out there? I mean _seriously_…like I want to get stalked again." She shuddered. "Scarlet gets marriage proposals. Mostly I get letters via email, but when I first started a lot of them were sent to a post office box. I had to open them with rubber gloves on."

"Rubber gloves?" he asked.

She sighed at his obtuseness. "Once you open your first letter that's coated in dried spunk, it's enough to make you treat them all with caution. Yes, apparently some people think a kinky advice column is ideal masturbation material. And a significant portion of them think it's fun to mail the results in." She paused and looked at him suspiciously. "Oh! And remember the letter last year from the couple whose role playing included priest getting spanked in a dungeon? Scarlet got actual death threats. I didn't even write the fucking letter…okay I did suggest they play altar boy getting spanked in a dungeon to spice things up…but my point is there are some lunatics out there."

"How exactly did you get started writing it?"

"You really want to know?"

He nodded, trying not to betray his eagerness.

"One night I was drinking where Inuyasha tended bar, and there was this drunk-as-shit guy hitting on me. He was pathetically bad at it, but kinda cute, then I noticed he had a wedding band on. So I started talking to him, and he confessed that he had just found out that his wife had cheated on him three years before. I told him that sleeping with strangers…even hot ones like me," she laughed, "wouldn't make it hurt any less. Anyway, so the next night he found me, told me he was the editor of _The Missing Link_, and asked if I would be interested in writing an advice column."

"And Sango? You mentioned that she knows."

"A couple months after I started writing it, I got a letter from a submissive, but it had a really creepy, abusive vibe to it. I needed a professional opinion about how to answer, so I showed it to her." She giggled. "It's nice to have a person to share the really outrageous, whatthe_fuck_ stuff with. The stuff that there's no way in hell I could put in the paper."

"There are letters you get that are unprintable?" he asked, beginning to plot already how he would get her to show them to him.

"Yeah," she nodded, somewhat disturbed by his apparent interest. "Some are obviously fake. They usually involve degradation of women. Some are just boring. Some are questions I've answered a lot before—I can only write about penis size so many times."

"Did your sister and Inuyasha know?"

"Of course. No secrets in our house. And I needed them. I'm fine with a little of the old slap and tickle, but they were a great resource for the harder aspects of BDSM."

He rose and walked around his desk to stand near her. "How is it that your friends haven't figured out your secret identity? It seems pretty obvious to me now, and they've known you a lot longer."

"I've learned that people make their minds up pretty quickly and they believe what they want to believe. Jak is the most oblivious one of them all. He's so convinced Scarlet is a gay man, that I think even if he saw me in the physical act of writing it, he wouldn't believe me."

The idea of watching her writing the column made his blood heat up. "Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee? I'll ask Carol to go get us some." He stood in front of her chair, so she couldn't easily escape.

Kagome felt like he was mentally undressing her. "You need to stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" he asked, without a trace of innocence.

"Like you're a big bad wolf and I'm a basket of goodies." Her shirt just came off and was tossed across the room. Heart pounding, she stood and quickly scooted around him. "I like the world how it was twenty minutes ago, when the Sesshoumaru I knew didn't read my column." And didn't scare the shit out of me, she thought. "I'm going. Home. Bye." She turned and practically ran out the door.

Now that he knew that Kagome, smart and funny and beautiful Kagome, was also the woman who had captivated and intrigued him for years, there was no way in hell he could be expected to take much more, he reasoned. But Sesshoumaru wanted absolutely nothing distracting her; she couldn't have any excuses. Thankfully her show was only eight days away.

&&&

_Thank you for reading! I do not own Inuyasha, Victorinox Swiss Army, or Pokémon. I hope the mythology, folklore, and opera references were not too out there—I tried not to dwell on them. _


	24. Big Night, Bad End, and Bonding with Rin

Kagome stood back and critically surveyed the interior of the Franklin Gallery. The day before, white walls empty, a true tabula rasa, she had measured and contemplated, plotting out how to make the space her own and best present her work. She was the choreographer of a visual dance, setting the stage and taking advantage of area and lighting. It was harder than it looked. The arrangement needed to flow, but not be too busy, so the people entering would view the first attention grabber, then naturally be directed to the next piece and the next, ultimately leading up to the showpieces, a series of large woven panels depicting scenes from Japanese mythology.

The owner of the gallery had suggested, because it was now only her art on display and fearing the space would look empty, that they curtain off the smaller room adjoining the main part of the gallery. Kagome decided, however, to use the room to hang her Not For Sale pieces, the personal ones charting her recovery that she had shown Sesshoumaru days before. She took a chance in letting him see that part of her—her vulnerability, her healing—and he told her something about his childhood, a tiny gift of trust that she suspected he had never given anyone before, and the pieces became even more cherished. His positive reaction and comments gave her the confidence she needed to introduce them to a larger, anonymous audience; she wished she knew how to thank him.

She had stayed up nearly all night for several days in a row in order to finish the final pieces, somewhat scared that Sesshoumaru would notice that the lights were still on in the sunroom at three in the morning. He made it clear that she was under no circumstances to overexert and allow herself to get sick again, saying he wouldn't hesitate to come over and force her to go to bed. Since discovering her alter ego, he had been looking at her strangely, and she was not about to test what exactly he meant by the threat…especially given his tone when he spoke of the ultimatum, almost as if he was daring her. Her ability to focus on work was primary—deciphering his attitude would come later, when she had the luxury of a protracted period of freaking out. But while she was working, she needed her wits and concentration unmuddled.

It was her first show since college and her first solo opening. The pressure to succeed had been ignored in favor of simply finishing the work, and now that the last piece was ready to be hung, her nerves, never content to lie low when given an opportunity, began to reassert themselves. She steadied and marched up the ladder, carefully guiding the wood dowel at the top of the tapestry into the fixtures protruding from the wall, jutting out like curving metal fingers. Sturdy. Dependable.

She looked over a shoulder at Bank. "Straight?"

"Very gay, actually," Jak said loudly.

Bank chuckled. "Looks great. All of it."

Kagome climbed down from the ladder and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks for the help. Another eye really helped…not to mention your ladder, power drill, masonry bits, and level. I know I have all that stuff in the storage shed, just don't have the three hours it would have taken to dig it out."

"Glad to be of help," Bank said. "Now that summer is over, business at the Inn has slowed down. And all my clients were morning appointments, so I would have been here anyway, helping that gorgeous fool over there."

They walked over to the corner where Jak was setting up the food and beverage table.

Kagome lifted up the lid of a cooler and peeked inside the containers. "The food looks great! Jak, you really didn't have to do all this. I only asked for a cheese tray." She looked at him accusingly. "And now I know you only charged me for the cost of the groceries."

"Kagome," he scoffed, "this is free advertising for the Inn. There will be a stack of brochures on the table, and if they disappear, mission accomplished." He slapped her hands away and slammed the cooler lid down before she had a chance to disturb the Shrimp-Stuffed Red Potatoes that she was digging in.

"You guys are too good to me. I'm not worthy."

"Don't be ridiculous," Bank said. "That's what friends are for. I couldn't even begin to count the numbers of times you were there for me. For us." He grinned at Jak and squeezed her hand. "Do you need help with anything else?"

"Nope. I've been remarkably organized, even with the strep derailment. Got the postcards mailed out and more business cards ordered a couple weeks ago, wrote and printed my artist's statement last night. I thought it was the worst thing I'd ever had to do…until it came time to do the price list." She shuddered.

Kagome hated pricing her work. An incident at her senior show had taught her a valuable lesson, one which mercifully was not her own experience. One of the other students had spent part of senior year in Italy and priced his work in Italian Lira, saying he didn't want the focus to be on the dollar amount—the main goal of a senior show, after all, was not sales. Unfortunately the attendees were so distracted with Lira to Dollar Conversion that they paid scant attention to his art. That fiasco stuck with her, not as a lesson to avoid silly gimmicks, but as proof that people, even those with no intentions of buying, will pay attention to the price tags on art, period.

"I have a simple time and materials formula that I use for pricing my work. This gallery has a forty-five percent consignment fee, and I hiked accordingly, but then balked at the numbers. Mrs. Taisho is an avid collector, so I asked her to have a look. She said I was 'chronically undervaluing' my work and doubled and even tripled the prices."

"Kagome," Bank said, "I've been telling you that for years. I hope you took her advice."

"Bank," Kagome said with exasperation, "she told me to ask seven thousand dollars for my largest tapestry. That's like as much as a fucking car."

Bank glanced over to the wall where the work in question hung. It was an exquisite representation of Susanoo giving his sister, Amaterasu, the legendary sword, _Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi._ "I think you could get it," he said honestly. "It's beautifully done and the subject matter is hardly run-of-mill. How did you mark it?" He had a strong suspicion Kagome's modesty was a loud, overriding voice in her mind.

"Twenty-five hundred," she answered, suddenly self-conscious.

The two men shook their heads. "Baby," Jak said, "you need to get over your insecurities." He put his arm around her. "Stop selling yourself short."

"I know, I know. But I'd rather sell something than not at all."

"Pfft. You'll make sales. Don't give your shit away."

"Two thousand plus is hardly giving anything away."

"It is, if it's worth a lot more. You have such fierceness and confidence. You need to apply it to your work." He paused. "And your sex life."

Kagome narrowed her eyes. "And what do you mean by that?"

"What the hell do you think, Miss Celibacy 2007? Let me prove my point." He got a devious look on his face. "How good is Sesshoumaru in bed?"

Kagome pulled away and punched him in the arm, regretting it immediately; her defensiveness spoke volumes.

"Oooowwwwwww! You hit harder than Sango!" he said, rubbing his arm, certain he'd have a bruise. "An attractive, single adult male and an attractive, haven't-had-sex-in-almost-two-years adult female living within yards of each other. Aren't you sleeping with him?" The point was proven.

Kagome gritted her teeth, angry that she took his bait so easily. "No!"

"And why not?" Jak challenged.

"Quit conspiring with Sango," she growled. "He isn't interested in me that way. And neither am I."

Jak tucked this information away; apparently Sango had been harassing Kagome about Sesshoumaru. A real conspiracy began to blossom in his mind. "If you say so." His tone of voice indicated utter, condescensive disbelief.

Bank knew that despite Kagome's predilection to play matchmaker for her friends, she bristled at anyone attempting to return the favor, and he decided a change of subject was timely. "So I imagine you are glad to be done with working nonstop. What are your plans after tonight? Any commissions on deck?"

Kagome sighed, grateful. "I'll take the weekend to catch up on sleep and spending time with Rin, then I've got a small commission lined up and…try to get my social life back. Really, it's been ages since I did anything. What's going on for Halloween? It's on a Wednesday this year. Wednesday Halloweens are so lame."

Bank was thoughtful, then brightened. "We had a reception booked for next weekend, but I got a call from the wedding planner today that it's cancelled." He looked at his lover. "Let's have a Halloween party!"

"Oh hell yeah!" Jak said. "Let's do it on Saturday. The Door is getting a DJ for their costume party, so no drag shows! I can't remember the last Saturday night I didn't have to work."

"Are you sure?" Kagome asked, not believing her good luck. "This is the best news I've gotten in ages. I neeeeed this."

"Of course," Bank nodded. "We haven't entertained friends in months. All the rooms will be vacant. People can spend the night so they don't have to worrying about driving after drinking."

Kagome squealed, her mind spinning at the prospect of cutting loose after being so sick, so busy, so sad. "Can I dress up?"

"Of course," Bank said. "It's a Halloween party."

"Do mine too?" Jak asked sweetly.

She smiled. It was nice to be with people who didn't think they were above donning costumes. Now she just had to work on Sesshoumaru.

XxXxX

When Sesshoumaru entered the guest house, Rin was the only person to greet him. He recognized she was wearing the black dress that Kagome had made for her parents' funeral, but it was now visibly smaller. It startled him slightly to realize the dress was the same size; Rin had gotten bigger. Of course, he reminded himself, children grow. But the reality of how much she had changed in five months and missing her first four years made him uncharacteristically melancholy.

"Are you sad?"

"No." He knelt down and returned the hug she gave him. "I just didn't realize how big you're getting. Where's your aunt?"

"Getting dressed. Still." Rin had lost count of the number of outfits Kagome had put on over the course of the past hour, and her excitement at going to an adult function had begun to atrophy.

Kagome, a dervish of nervous energy, rushed into the room wearing a simple black cocktail dress. "Is this too demure?"

He thought she looked quite elegant, but she spun around and exited before he could answer. "Has she been doing this for a while?"

Rin nodded. "I'm bored."

"Shall we hurry her along?" he whispered conspiratorially.

Rin grinned and felt her excitement rekindle.

Kagome reappeared in a long, flowing skirt and sleeveless top. "Do I look like a hippy?"

"I liked the first dress better."

Not really expecting an answer, she looked at him curiously, then shook her head. "It's too safe. I need something…edgier. Arghhhhh," she yelled to no one, "I need my sister!"

They followed Kagome into her room, the floor and bed strewn with more clothes than Sesshoumaru had even seen outside a department store, mainly black dresses. "Just pick something for pity's sake. What is wrong with you?"

"I'm so nervous I think I'm going to puke. And I hate all my clothes." Kagome had returned from the gallery satisfied, even pleased with how her work looked once hung. She ran and showered, thinking of little beyond mentally checking off last minute details. When she started getting ready, the anxiety hit, and each new outfit she put on only made her less sure, more panicked. "I mean…I know I was bad before the concert, but this is my _career_! This matters! This is a make or break show! Your mother told me last night that she invited her whole bridge club. She's like the Queen Bee of the Ladies Who Lunch. I'm grateful that she thinks so highly of my work, but I'm scared senseless that she talked me up and it won't be their cup of tea. It's not just facing the prospect of humiliation…if tonight tanks, if I don't sell something and get a few commissions..." Her voice heightened in pitch as she continued. She put her hands on his chest and grabbed fistfuls of his tailored shirt. "I don't wanna go back to making wedding dresses! I don't wanna be Bridezilla's bitch!"

He saw her eyes were frantic with desperation and gently took her hands, untangling the clenched fingers. "Kagome," he said slowly, "you need to settle—"

She shook her head. "Help!"

Rin was impressed with how well her uncle was learning to deal with Kagome's untamed side, but thought to impart a trick she had learned from her father. She picked the paperback book up from the nightstand, aimed, and swatted Kagome across her backside. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, but the sharp crack captured everyone's attention. Even the dog, lying on the bed and half covered by a pile of clothes, looked up.

"It's what Daddy would do," Rin simply said in explanation.

Kagome, frozen mid-rant by her suddenly stinging posterior, was immediately aware of the presence of Inuyasha; his strength and comfort washed over her like warm water, and she felt much calmer. Years ago, Kikyou had known best how to gentle her, how to keep her from straying too close to the abyss of her depression. Later, when the worst was over and danger past, Inuyasha proved most adept at getting Kagome out of her head. His smacks to her butt, infrequent and lacking pain, carried the necessary inappropriateness to pull her from whatever funk had taken hold. And now Rin was replicating it. Somehow getting spanked by a four-year-old was sufficiently jolting for Kagome to snap back to reality. She crouched down to Rin's level. "You, my dear, are worth your weight in gold. Ten times." She kissed Rin's cheek before blindly grabbing the nearest black dress. "Give me a minute of privacy, and we can go."

Rin looked up at her uncle and tried to wink at him like her father had winked at her mother in similar circumstances.

Sesshoumaru only just suppressed the laugh that wanted to erupt. The girl's exaggerated squint was pure comedy. "We'll be waiting. I hope your choice of shoes isn't an equally arduous decision."

As the trio walked toward Sesshoumaru's sports car, Kagome's pleas and demands to drive were first turned down and then ignored. Rin, skipping between them and holding their hands, was smiling so hard her cheeks burned. It was a good burn. A happy family burn. She wished she could step outside her body and check to see if they looked as perfect as she felt.

XxXxX

Ken Taisho stood before a woven tapestry and felt his breath catch in his throat. Before him was a representation of Susanoo slaying the dragon, Yamata no Orochi, and it was as if he had been instantly transported back to his youth, sitting with his grandfather and hearing his favorite tales of the Land of the Rising Sun. The vibrant colors, the triumphant expression, the intensity of the moment were perfectly rendered. "Kagome, I must say, I'm truly impressed. My wife was not exaggerating when she described your new work as stunning."

Kagome blushed and tried not to preen; Ken Taisho, not a man easily impressed, was complimenting her. "Thank you. And thank you for helping with Rin the past couple months; I wouldn't have been able to do this much without all of you."

"Rin is a treasure. Spending time with her doesn't require thanks." He glanced around at the crowded gallery. "You seem to have a successful turn out."

She nodded, barely believing her luck. The Franklin Gallery was teeming with art collectors and enthusiasts, friends, former clients, and even a decent showing of the country club set, part of the Taisho's inner circle. The reaction from all was overwhelmingly positive, and the gallery owner said it was the best opening in the six months he had been in business. She hadn't known whom or what to expect, but the response made her giddy.

"I told you everything would be fine. Your talent speaks for itself," Rose Taisho said. "And I'm sure you are relieved to have an opportunity to breathe. Sesshoumaru was concerned that you were pushing yourself too hard."

"Meh," she said, smiling at Sesshoumaru, "he's a worry wart. I'm tough."

He snorted, her terrified face and hysterical pleading fresh in his mind. "Tough like a frightened kitten."

She nudged him playfully with her elbow. "Now that life should be getting a little more normal, Rin and I would love to have you three over for dinner again."

"That sounds delightful, but Kagome, it's our turn to entertain you as our guest," Rose said. "I insist."

"I'd be honored," she replied.

"And after Rin goes to bed, we can resume our cribbage game. It's been weeks since we've played." Mr. Taisho smiled devilishly. "Unless you're afraid of being beaten again."

For the second time that evening Kagome had a powerful reminder of Inuyasha—now the cocky arch of his brow was worn on his father's face. "Bring it on, old man."

Sesshoumaru and Rose looked at each other with concern. They both were aware that Rin had softened Mr. Taisho's hard outer shell to the point that he let Kagome take huge liberties, but never had anyone directed such cheek at him in a public setting. No one besides Inuyasha…and they both knew how that typically had played out. To their amazement, there was no glowering, no retribution; instead Ken laughed.

Kagome laughed with him, oblivious to the shocked expressions of the Sesshoumaru and his mother. "I'm not sure how it's played, but Inuyasha said that cribbage could be a partners' game. Maybe we can convince these two to join us."

Rose tried to keep the emotion from her voice and tears from her eyes. It had been decades since all three of her living family members had done anything purely frivolous and for pleasure together, and she hadn't realized how much she still longed for it. "I haven't played in years…bridge is my usual pastime, but I think I could be persuaded."

They all glanced at Sesshoumaru, the unknown quantity.

He looked into the hopeful faces of the women. "Alright."

His parents stared at him, then each other—did he just agree without arguing?

"Rose, darling!"

They turned to see Kagura and her mother approaching. Mrs. Taisho, Mrs. Hideoshi, and Kagura all exchanged air kisses, and the group was joined by more of the members of the bridge club. Kagura turned her sights on Sesshoumaru. She sidled up and gave him a long embrace that he returned briefly.

"I can't believe how much you've had to work lately," she pouted. "Now that you're back in the country, you owe me at least a weekend at a resort to make up for all the absence I've put up with."

Sesshoumaru seethed at the implication that they were lovers. "Kagura, I'll be busy for the foreseeable future. I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere to find the attention you deserve," he said, trying to keep disgust from filtering into his voice.

Mrs. Taisho could tell Sesshoumaru wasn't pleased with the attention. For years she and Mrs. Hideoshi had tried to get their two children together, thinking them an ideal couple. They were both young and successful and their families were close, but she reluctantly began to admit that perhaps they weren't all that well suited. Ever since her elder son had moved back and taken over the business, she wanted him to marry and settle down. She knew, though not especially promiscuous, he hardly led a chaste lifestyle, and he had seldom shown more than passing interest in any one woman. At that rate he would never find a wife, but, she wondered, if not Kagura…whom?

She remembered her manners and reintroduced Kagome to her friends. "Have you had a chance to see the art yet?"

"We've only just arrived," Mrs. Hideoshi said with a wave of her hand. "Now where's that precious granddaughter of yours?"

The three Taishos were somewhat taken aback by the rude snubbing of Kagome, but she graciously said, "She's running around the sculpture garden out back with the other kids. It was very nice to see you again, but I must excuse myself. Some friends have just arrived and I need to say hello."

Sesshoumaru saw Sango and Miroku and put an arm around her waist. "I'll go with you."

The others watched as they walked through the crowd, noting the ease Sesshoumaru exhibited with Kagome, starkly in contrast to his negative reaction to Kagura.

"Are they dating?" one of the bridge members asked.

"Oh heavens no," Rose said. "They're simply friends for the sake of the child."

"I think it's more than that," Ken said. "They're like siblings. They enjoy pestering each other."

Kagura watched and knew better. There may not be something between the object of her desire and the skinny bitch yet, but she was astute as hell and had to act before it was too late. She ducked back and fished her cell phone from her purse.

"Sister dear. What do you want?"

"Naraku," she said sweetly. "Are you busy? I need a favor."

"Actually—"

"Let me phrase this another way. Get down to the Franklin Gallery on Summit now." She hung up. Her brother, a man with few scruples and even less conscience, could be charming when he needed to be. Kagome Higurashi wouldn't know what hit her.

XxXxX

Half an hour later, Naraku walked into the gallery and was immediately pulled aside by his sister. He had been on his way to the apartment of a nurse who worked for a prominent OB/GYN when Kagura called. Lucy was a great fuck and an unparalleled source of illicit information who unfortunately would have to wait. He owed Kagura far too much to refuse her. "What's so damn important?"

Kagura glanced around, checking that Sesshoumaru was not in the near vicinity. "First, the report that you had started in May about Kagome Higurashi…I hope you didn't discard anything, because I want you to continue with it."

"Are you going to pay me?" he asked dryly. Kagura had lusted after Sesshoumaru and longed for his last name ever since they were teenagers, when she saw him during one of his summer visits. He knew Sesshoumaru wouldn't ever be interested, but their mother kept the obsession well-fed with gossip.

"Yes, dammit, but it had better be worth it. I want you to dig up every bit of filth on her you can. I want to know her deepest, most dirty secrets. If she kicked a puppy when she was twelve I want to know about it. Second…I need her out of the way tonight. Find her and flirt with her."

He sighed. Seduction was never a problem, but even he had limits. "Kagura, Sesshoumaru made it clear that she was untouchable. I'm not suicidal."

"How many times have I gotten you out of jail?" she asked through clenched teeth. "You're not eligible for shock probation anymore. Do this for me or the next time you get arrested, I'll let you rot."

He was at his core a businessman, one peddling secrets and shame, and placating Kagura was an integral part of staying in business. She was also his sister. "Have you heard of the book _He's Just Not That Into You_? Maybe you should pick it—"

"Spare me the brotherly concern. Find Kagome Higurashi and keep her out of my way."

"Fine." He remembered her from the bar when Sesshoumaru told him to leave her alone. It may be a fool's errand, but at least she was sexy as sin. He spotted her in the crowd and watched, planning how to capture her interest. She was a delectable combination of smoldering sensuality and bright-eyed innocence. Maybe he _would_ end up getting a piece of ass tonight.

XxXxX

Kagome made her way through the crowded gallery to slip out for a few minutes. A social creature by nature, even she needed an occasional break. The evening was a whirlwind of meeting people, describing media and methods, explaining her inspirations, and the flurry of activity made time fly, but left her exhausted. A good, overwhelmed exhausted. The gallery owner seemed to indicate that several pieces may sell that night, something she didn't dare hope for. Added to that, Drew, Kikyou's band mate, had come and after raving about her talent, asked if she would help him write some vocal harmonies for his new band; the amount that he told her he'd pay made her jaw drop. She couldn't help but feel she was suddenly living a charmed life.

Sesshoumaru was returning a phone call while taking a turn watching Rin, Shippou, and the former downstairs neighbors play in the sculpture garden, and joining him in the cool night air seemed to her the perfect respite and reality check.

"Hey," she said, sitting next to him on a bench. "Emergency at work?"

Sesshoumaru was relieved it wasn't Kagura; she had been shadowing him the entire evening. "Hopefully taken care of. You look tired."

"I just needed some fresh air. The opening is amazing, but yeah…thank god there's only an hour left," Kagome said, taking a sip of her Shiraz. "Your parents are ready to leave with Rin soon. Can I still catch a ride home with you?"

"Of course." He didn't say _Of course…it's the beginning of my plan to seduce you tonight_. Her work now finished, there was no reason to hold back.

They watched the kids pretend to ride around on horses, clucking their tongues to mimic the sound of galloping. "They're like _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. All they need is a couple coconut halves." She looked at him quizzically, expecting some acknowledgement. "You _have_ seen _Holy Grail_, haven't you?"

"I've heard of it, but no."

Kagome added to her ever-growing list of cultural basics that she needed to expose him to; it ranked somewhere between seeing a horror film at a drive-in and bowling. "So Rin is going to her first riding lesson tomorrow with your mom. I've got to admit, I'm kinda nervous about it."

A long dark hair blew across her cheek, and he tucked it behind her ear, letting his fingers trace the line of her jaw. "She'll be perfectly safe. You worry too much."

The part of Kagome's brain that was bossy and careful told her the intimate gesture meant nothing. "Probably. It's just the unfamiliarity. I've never even been on a horse."

"Why don't you talk to my mother; she'd be delighted to take you riding sometime."

"Really? I'd hate to be a bother."

His quirked brow told her she had nothing to worry about; Mrs. Taisho's love of horses was well known. "So tell me, what sort of spell have you put on my father? Or was it Rin?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's changed. He used to be an arrogant control freak whose definition of the word fun was reading _The Wall Street Journal_. Now he's giving piggy-back rides and allowing certain people to taunt him in public."

Kagome's snort quickly turned into an attack of the giggles at his disapproving glare. "You know you could be describing yourself," she said once the laughter passed. "I guess he's just vulnerable to the wiles of Higurashi females."

As are all Taisho males, he thought. First Inuyasha, then his father, and he'd be deeply in denial to keep himself off the list. "Higurashi females are apparently a force to be reckoned with."

"Glad you can admit it," she said, patting his hand casually. "Say…that reminds me. Bank and Jak are having a Halloween party next weekend. Will you go with me? I swear it will be fun."

"I'd love to, but no costume." Best to not let her get any ideas.

"Aaawwwww come on," she whined. "Everybody else will be dressed up. You need to learn how to relax and have fun. Let your figurative hair down."

He hesitated a moment too long before shaking his head, and Kagome smelled blood. "You're considering it," she said. "I can tell. Please. Pleaseplease. Let me dress you up. I promise I'd never do anything to embarrass you."

"No."

"You know I'm going to keep at you constantly until you say yes, so why not just save me the trouble. We both know it's inevitable."

"You underestimate my resolve." She was staring at him, clearly contemplating costume ideas. "Stop that, Kagome."

"Stop what?" she asked with faux-innocent amusement. "I suppose I should be getting back in. Oh, your cute doctor friend came a little while ago. Is he single?" she asked slyly.

Jealousy is never an attractive emotion in anyone, and Sesshoumaru was no exception. "I think he's gay," he lied.

"Oh _please_…so not gay," she said dismissively. "I'm thinking about setting him up with my friend Kanna."

He hoped the relief he felt didn't reach his face. "Which one is she?"

"The petite blonde. The one who looks like she's still fifteen. We were roommates freshman year of college. God, she was so strange back then. Hardly ever said a word. It took most of first semester, but I got her to open up." Standing, she called out, "Hey kids! Time to come in! Your rides are leaving."

As they herded the protesting children back indoors, Sesshoumaru scowled. Naraku was with Mrs. Hideoshi and staring at Kagome with a lascivious smirk on his face. "Kagome, see that man with the long, dark hair near the door? Stay away from him."

Kagome craned her neck to get a better view. "Why?"

Before he could answer, his cell vibrated. It was the firm's attorney again. "I've got to take this."

"Okay. See you later." She deposited Rin with the Taishos and went to talk to Miroku and Sango, curious about the mysterious, gorgeous man and wondering if Sesshoumaru was being protective or jealous.

XxXxX

Finally the opening was winding to a close. The crowd was sparse, and Kagome, judging it safe for them to leave, went to look for Sesshoumaru. It had been a long night, and she was ready to sleep, recharge her batteries, and give more attention to life beyond her sewing machines and loom. Assuming he was in the sculpture garden dealing with work, she walked toward the back, however her eye was caught by a couple in the small adjoining room. Once adjusted to the dimmer light, she realized it was Kagura and Sesshoumaru, her body pressed against his, his hands tightly gripping her shoulders.

Kagome retreated quickly, completely dismayed at the sight and the confused emotions that grabbed and shook her. She hadn't thought of him as a serious romantic interest…certainly she found him undeniably attractive, but she had gotten used to seeing men in general as something to stay detached from. Though Sesshoumaru wasn't just some guy, she had purposely avoided considering him as anything more than a friend. And now the sight of him with someone else forced her, all at once, to confront her buried feelings. Sadness and disappointment bit and then gnawed, leaving her feeling raw, eaten; she had considered them to have become quite close and that he thought her special, and the fact that he hid something about his life, something so important, made her question if she really knew him at all. She also felt petty—selfish and childish. She and Inuyasha had been best friends, and she never begrudged his relationship with Kikyou. Sesshoumaru…she realized she didn't want to share him with anyone, least of all someone like Kagura. _Good god, am I jealous_?

She was spared further self-analysis by a rich voice in her ear.

"I believe I owe you an apology."

She turned to see a tall man with black, flowing hair and eyes that seemed to look straight into her soul. The forbidden stranger. "I don't think so. I'd remember if we'd met."

"No, we haven't met." He artfully took her hand, almost caressing. "My name is Naraku. You know my sister, Kagura."

Kagome's brows knit briefly as she made the connection. "Hey…you're the guy who tried to make my life a living hell in May."

"And I offer my sincerest apologies and assurances that it was merely a business arrangement. Had I known how beautiful you are—"

"So you're saying," she interrupted, determined not to become angry, "it's okay to ruin ugly people?"

"No, but for someone like you I'm willing to make atonement." He rubbed sinful circles in the palm of her hand.

"Oh?" Kagome eased into heavy flirting mode. He was so obvious, it seemed safe, and he provided a convenient distraction from the brief scene she'd witnessed. "And what's your idea of penance?" she purred.

He began to stroke the inside of her wrist. "I'm sure together we could come up with an appropriate punishment."

Damn, he's good, she thought.

"This shindig seems to be over. Need a ride home?"

"Honestly, I don't know." She suddenly sobered, remembering her intended ride and the elegant woman half wrapped around his body.

He sensed her pulling away from the moment and leaned in closer, smoothing a lock of hair from her forehead to keep the spell of seduction going. "Or you could come home with me. Just for a night. No strings."

She smiled a tempting half-smile. "I don't think so."

"I promise you wouldn't regret it," he said, voice smooth like warm honey.

She ran her tongue along her lower lip, escalating the tension, the teasing. "Oh I'm certain we would entertain each other…all night long." She shook her head. "But in the morning I'd regret it very much."

"Well if you change your mind," he leaned in closer, inches away, "all the bad stuff you've heard about me," he pushed her hair aside and whispered in her ear, "is true."

"Mmm…I'll remember that."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru's frustration when he went back into the main part of the gallery was simmering, threatening to boil.

First, the issue with Legal that he had been dealing with off and on for the past two days not only didn't go away, it seemed to require a trip to the office on a Saturday morning he had planned on spending at the dojo for a long-needed extended workout. Then, as he stood looking at the art Kagome had shown him the week before, appreciating her strength in displaying it, he heard the distinct sound of women's heels clicking on hard wood floor. He thought it was Kagome, coming to tell him she was ready to leave, but Kagura's arms encircled his waist. She cornered him against a wall and pulled his head down for a kiss, but when he tried to push her away, she broke into tears, crying about missing him, needing him, her life absent meaning without him. His tolerance was at an end, and as much as he would have loved to callously walk out, a hysterical woman shrieking, even if the gallery was almost empty, would only embarrass him and Kagome. He patiently explained to her that she was a family friend, but he wasn't interested in a relationship. Kagura managed to extract a promise for a platonic lunch from him before drying her eyes, and he walked out to find Kagome and invite her to go out for a drink.

The sight, when he looked to the left, made his blood run cold. She was standing nearby, Naraku hovering, his face buried in her neck. He heard her low, throaty laugh.

"I'll remember that."

He stepped forward and shoved Naraku back. "I thought I told you to leave her alone," he snarled.

Naraku calmly collected himself. "No worries. No harm done." He looked at Kagome. "Good night."

Sesshoumaru grabbed Kagome's upper arm and pulled her through the door and out into the street. Despite the chill air, Kagome's cheeks were burning. She recovered from the shock and put on the brakes. "Wait a goddam minute!" They stopped. "You're hurting me," she said, drawing back.

He let go of her arm. "Kagome, I told you to stay away from him."

"What the hell gave you the belief that you can dictate whom I choose to talk to? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Do you even know who that man was?"

"Yes, actually. Naraku was very forthcoming."

"You don't know him like I do. He's completely morally bankrupt. He wouldn't hesitate to use anyone and throw them away if it suited his purpose."

"Shit!" she said incredulously. "We were just flirting a little. You're acting like you caught us in bed together."

Unbidden, the vision of Naraku touching her and the coquettish look on her face flashed in his mind. "It appeared that fucking him was the logical next step," he sneered. The idea made his skin crawl. "I thought even you had standards, Kagome. I guess I was wrong."

She stood with her mouth agape. "Fuck. You." She dug in her purse, fumbling. "I'm calling a cab."

He couldn't believe the night had gone downhill so precipitously and instantly wished to take back his regrettable words. "Don't do that," he said gently. "I just didn't want to see you hurt. He's not like the people you know. He's not a nice person."

She sighed. "Sesshoumaru, I can take pretty good care of myself. I'm not some coy virgin, you know. I got over the animal attraction to the bad boy a long time ago."

The car ride back to the Taisho mansion was shadowed by thick, cold tension and quiet. Kagome kept hearing his words. _I thought even you had standards_. He even used a profanity, something she never thought to hear from him. The opening, her big night, had been a brilliant success…and now it felt like it meant nothing. She turned away so he wouldn't see her weakness, the tears that she could no longer contain. It would only confirm in his mind that she couldn't take care of herself.

Sesshoumaru saw the quick wipe of her hand. It was a hidden gesture, one not meant to elicit sympathy; unlike Kagura, whose tears he was inclined to believe were fabricated, used her crying to great dramatic, manipulative effect. He couldn't stand that he had hurt her. "Kagome, I'm sorry. I was completely out of line."

They pulled into the Redgrave Hill neighborhood, almost home. Kagome was being suffocated by the uncomfortable silence and as she watched the huge, elegant houses fly by, she remembered something. "Why didn't you tell me you and Kagura are a couple?" she asked softly. "I mean…you can sleep with whomever you want, it's not my business, but…you could do a lot better. No offense, she's a bitch and a half."

His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. "We're not a couple. Why do you say that?"

"I saw you together. You were practically wearing each other."

He realized she must have walked in on them while Kagura was throwing herself at him. "Our families are friends, and she is corporate counsel for my father's end of the business—that's it. Whatever you saw was entirely one-sided. I promise you, there's nothing between us."

"I turned him down," she said, a little more confidently, still sad. "When he propositioned me. As you know, I haven't been with anyone for a while. When I do choose to change that, it won't be a one night stand with a stranger who's only after one thing. I thought you knew that about me."

He pulled into the garage, and they got out of the car.

"Kagome, wait," he said, following her down the path before she could get away. "It seems that we both saw something and came to incorrect conclusions. Unfortunately, my reaction was to behave like a jackass. I only meant to protect you."

"By dragging me out of a public place and insulting me?" she challenged, then sighed raggedly. "I don't want to fight with you."

"Again, I'm sorry, Kagome. I was frustrated with other matters, and I said things I didn't intend. Is there anything I can do to make it right?"

She scrunched up her face and pondered. When the solution came, it showed first as a naughty, joyful gleam in her eyes that then spread into a wicked grin. "Two words. Halloween. Costume."

His contemplative silence, which he hoped would last forever, was really quite brief. "Alright."

Kagome burst into triumphant giggles and hugged him—apparently his response soothed her wounds. "You caved so quick," she teased. "I knew you really wanted to. What about staying in costume for Trick-or-Treating with Rin?"

He shook his head rather than answer, marveling at the length of her attention span and, after growing up in a family where grudge holding was easier than conversing, her ability to forgive.

"I'd never ask too much from you. I hope you understand that."

"Hn." How she didn't see she currently pushing him to the breaking point was beyond him.

"Just come by tomorrow morning, and I'll take your measurements and bounce some ideas off you." She hugged him again. "I'm so excited. I was swear it will be fuuuhhuuunnn." A yawn prolonged the last word into some mocking parody of fun, making him wonder what he had gotten himself into. "I hate fighting…wears me out. And I've got a neglected dog inside that needs lavish attention. Good night." She half-skippeded toward the guest house, calling out over her shoulder, "See you in the morning!"

Sesshoumaru walked into the house, thinking about the disaster that was averted. He rarely let his emotions get the better of him and was irritated that he reacted to Naraku without his usual control. The end of the evening had not gone at all how he had wanted, but things were still okay between him and Kagome. And he took some comfort that she, perhaps, was jealous of Kagura.

XxXxX

Rin, up early and unable to go back to sleep due to sheer excitement, rode her imaginary horse through the halls of her grandparents house.

Her mother had been an early riser, and therefore rarely before her parents died had she been expected to keep herself quietly occupied in order for the adults to sleep in. She discovered over the course of the summer though, that there was something nice about the being the only one awake, especially in the big house. The rooms were filled with interesting things from all over the world, things she didn't dare touch without her grandmother's express permission, but the best were the photographs everywhere. Her second favorite was her grandparents' wedding portrait. She thought her grandmother was the prettiest lady she had ever seen, prettier even than her mother and Kagome. Her favorite was actually a series of three pictures, set in a single frame, featuring her father and uncle playing in the sand at a beach. Inuyasha handing Sesshoumaru a pail of sand; the two boys digging a moat around a giant pile of sand; the two boys placing sticks and feathers on the sides and top. She had been told that they were ages three and six and that the photos were the only three of at least a dozen that pictured good behavior—the rest showed Inuyasha kicking a hole in the pile; Sesshoumaru's retaliatory throwing sand in his brother's hair; Inuyasha taking Sesshoumaru's feathers and running away; the inevitable tackling. It didn't matter to Rin that the photos were displayed selectively. She could stare at them for ages.

That morning however, she was too keyed up to be still, so she found herself in a back corridor, enjoying the swishy sound her silk slippers made on the Persian hall runner. The sounds of muffled music caught her attention, and she realized this must be where her uncle's room was located. She knocked on the door, which was quickly opened by Sesshoumaru, clad in a towel, long hair damp.

"Rin? Is something wrong?"

"No," she shrugged. "Nobody else is up yet."

"Would you like to come in? I just stepped out of the shower."

"I know," Rin said. "You're wet." She entered his room and followed him to the bathroom.

Sesshoumaru turned and saw the petite girl right behind him. "I was about to shave. Would you like to watch television?"

She shook her head. "Can I watch you shave? I used to watch my Daddy almost every day."

He was a bit surprised at the odd request, but picked her up and set her on the marble countertop.

At first Rin was confused. Her uncle's shaving routine was nothing like her father's. He put some weird soap in a wooden bowl, then used a funny looking brush to mix up something that slowly became recognizable. "My Daddy's came out of a can with a button on top."

He nodded. "This way is worth the extra time. Here," he said, raising the bowl to Rin's face, "smell."

The clean, lavendar scent, she had to admit, was very nice. His next step confounded her further. He took an odd, thin thing from a wooden box, unfolded it to reveal a long knife, and swiped it back and forth across a piece of leather. "What's that?"

He glanced down at her, not used to having an audience, but clearly amused. "It's called a straight razor."

"It looks scary." She bet her father would have loved it. "My Daddy's razor looked like a T…but bent over on top."

She watched as he continued and felt like she was now in familiar territory. He turned the hot tap on, spread the lather on his face, and used the razor to scrape it off. "My Daddy let me shave too."

"Really?" Sesshoumaru couldn't imagine letting a small child have a shaving implement, even a safety razor.

Rin nodded. "He helped me put shaving cream on my cheeks, and he gave me an old razor with no blade. He showed me how to do it, so I wouldn't get cut or get razor burn."

"Very responsible of him to teach you proper technique."

"Yep. Then when we were both done, he'd rub his face against mine, and I would tell him if he did a good job. Sometimes he missed a spot and it would scratch me a little. But he usually did it perfect."

Sesshoumaru paused and looked at her. He had no idea the simple act of shaving could provide such a bond between a father and his little girl. "Did your father ever talk about me?" he asked.

"Not much. My Mommy said it was because you guys didn't like each other, but that wasn't true. I think he was jealous that you got to live with grandmother and grandfather…but he loved you."

Sesshoumaru had to stop so he didn't cut himself. As a child, sent away to boarding school, he had been jealous of his brother for the same reason.

"Did you love him too?" Rin asked.

Sesshoumaru finished and rinsed with cold water, then wiped the blade clean and put it away. "I did…but I think it took getting to know _you_ to make me realize it." He picked her up and rubbed his face against her cheek. "How did I do?"

Rin hugged her arms around his neck, soaking up the warmth of his bare skin. "Good," she whispered.

Sesshoumaru carried Rin into his bedroom. They saw the door to the guest house swing open and the dog run out, followed by Kagome a moment later. She stood on the front step and reached her arms up and stretched, her movements graceful and strong. Then she yawned and scratched her ass. They both laughed. Sesshoumaru couldn't imagine a scene more symbolic of the woman and her personality.

"Alright Rin," he said, putting her down. "You go in the other room while I get dressed. Now that we know she's up, I'll walk over there with you, so I can be measured. Apparently I'm your aunt's newest guinea pig."

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or anything else. Thank you for reading. _


	25. Halloween Party, LateNight Cup of Tea

Kagome sighed at the sight of the Jack o' lanterns decorating the steps of the Brownstone Inn, determined to stave off her melancholy.

That day had been beautiful. She, Rin, and the dog had taken a mini-road trip an hour outside the city to visit a pumpkin patch, and the warmth of the Indian Summer sun on her skin felt like a kiss, a gift before the grey and cold of winter set in for long months. As Rin raced around the orange lumps in the field, making necessary comparisons to ensure the chosen pumpkin had the perfect size and shape, Kagome was overwhelmed by the loss of Inuyasha. They had always thought of Halloween as _their_ holiday. The enjoyment had changed over the years—drugs and extreme alcohol consumption gave way to accommodate their maturity and Rin's arrival, but always constant were scary movies, costumes, and their unshakeable belief that no one else appreciated that time of year more than they did. She put on a happy face and joined Rin, trying to recapture the excitement that she and Inuyasha had reveled in, but without her best friend, her attempts just felt forced and foreign.

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru said, "are you alright?" When he had stopped at the guest house that morning for a cup of coffee before heading to the office, she was bouncing around the kitchen, full of joyous energy and teasing with threatening hints about the costume she had been sewing for him. Now, on their way to the party she had looked forward to all week, she seemed like a different person.

"I'm fine…missing your brother." She shrugged and adjusted the large garment bag slung over her shoulder. "My first Halloween without him. Just ignore me."

"I'm not going to ignore you, Kagome. Let me take this heavy thing." He took the bag, and they continued up the sidewalk, shuffling through scattered leaves. "I've always been curious about this bed and breakfast. It was recognized by the Chamber of Commerce last year as a top local, independent business, but I've never been inside."

"It's gorgeous," Kagome said, nodding. "Bank did a bang-up job with the renovation."

"Have you known him long?" Sesshoumaru, though not one to purposely engage in small talk, thought it best to keep her engaged.

They walked up the steps, and Kagome knocked on the front door. "For years. We dated a long time ago."

Before Sesshoumaru had time to ask for clarification, even before he had time to fully process what she had said, the door swung open to let them in.

"Happy Halloween!" Bank and Jak yelled. They ushered in the guests; hugs and handshakes ensued. The entry way was lit by dozens of candles set in gothic candelabra, making shadows of the spider webs that were draped over the banister and doorways to give the room a haunted, creepy atmosphere. They wandered into the living room and found more candles, more shadowy webs, and a huge vase full of dramatic dried hydrangea paniculata and twisting black twigs.

"The place looks great! Jak, you've worked your magic again," Kagome said. "The moth-eaten curtains are a nice touch."

"Always in good taste," Bank said. "That's why I keep him around."

"Let me guess," Kagome said, studying Bank's outfit of khaki shorts, tool belt, hard hat, and tight white t-shirt. "Gay construction worker?"

"Pfft. _Straight_ construction worker."

"Oh yeah?" Kagome challenged. "Prove it. C'mere and gimme a big, wet kiss."

"Oh why not? For old time's sake." Bank growled predatorily, pulled Kagome into his arms, and dipped her low, both wearing intense expressions. Bank lowered his face to hers, much to the consternation of Sesshoumaru and the abject horror of Jak.

"For the love of god! STOP!" Jak screamed. "You can't kiss a girl like that. It's disgusting."

"Shit, Jak," Kagome scoffed. "I don't have cooties. You're such a misogynist."

"I am not a misogynist. Just a wee bit squeamish about seeing my boyfriend lock lips with…" he shuddered, unable to continue.

Kagome laughed as Bank straightened her back up. "You don't think it's fun and kinky?"

"I don't even want to talk about it," Jak said flatly. "Now show me my costume."

"Ooo you're going to love it." She took the garment bag, unzipped it, and pulled out a short skirt and cape of coarse-spun dull fabric and chest armor and over-skirt made of metal-studded black leather. "Gladiator." Jak's expression was that of a kid on Christmas morning. Kagome smiled with satisfaction, waiting for his gushing enthusiasm to peak and level off. "There's a belt with a sword, but I didn't bother with the shield. You do have some kind of leather sandals, don't you?"

Jak held the costume up, barely keeping his mania in check. "Girl…it's perfect. Where the hell did you find this?"

"A few years ago the university theater department had an auction to get rid of some old costumes and props they thought they'd never use again. It was like a gold mine."

They were interrupted by Miroku and Sango entering the room. Greetings and wishes of a Happy Halloween were exchanged, followed by Miroku staring with longing at the skimpy leather contraption in Jak's arms.

"I wanna be that…whatever it is. Interested in trading costumes?"

Sango made a conscious decision not to be annoyed. She and Miroku had done a joint costume for every Halloween since they had begun dating, but seeing him dressed in leather would more than make up for breaking with tradition.

Jak looked suspiciously at the normally attired couple in front of him. "You're not dressed up yet. What are you going to be?"

"Jack and Meg White."

An uneven trade. "Mine." He hugged the gladiator outfit tightly. "No offense, Sango," he added, then turned toward Kagome and Sesshoumaru. "What are you two going to be?"

"It's a surprise," Kagome blurted. She had been tormenting Sesshoumaru all week with lies about the costume she was designing, from the ludicrous—shower drain, consisting of a shirt covered with soap slivers, hair clumps, and shaving cream—to the almost believable and therefore far more frightening—drag queen. "Sango, let's go up and I'll help you change. Do I get the bridal suite?" she asked hopefully.

"Sorry, babe," Bank answered. "Kouga already claimed it."

"What! He's not even here."

"He's paying full rate for it." Though generous, Bank was hardly an altruist. He was a common-sense businessman and not about to refuse good money. "You're in the blue room."

Kagome grinned; the blue room had the second largest bathroom. She took Sango's hand and led her toward the staircase. "Come with me, darling. You two," she said to Miroku and Sesshoumaru, "come up in fifteen minutes."

"Oh girls," Jak called, stopping them, "I made that red wine sangria you like. It's in the fridge. And…" he paused for dramatic effect, "I've got _The Host_ on DVD to watch later."

"Korean monster movies for the win! You guys are the best!" Kagome's mood improved dramatically; she didn't miss Inuyasha any less, but her friends were a balm that helped fill the hollow.

Sesshoumaru watched the women detour toward what he assumed to be the direction of the kitchen, relieved to see that Kagome's sadness appeared to have lifted.

XxXxX

Kagome crouched in front of Sango and carefully scissored her bangs so they were perfectly straight across. "Done."

Sango stood and studied her figure in the mirror. She was wearing a sleeveless red micro-dress, white tights, and white platforms shoes. She hadn't been too happy about the inclusion of the tights, but Kagome insisted, saying her tanned legs would spoil the look she was trying to achieve. "Fits like skin. This was a great idea."

"I was inspired listening to The White Stripes while running the other day. God, Sango, your legs are amazing." She took a sip of the cool, fruity wine. "Hey, I just noticed. You're drinking. Alcohol."

Sango picked up her glass, and they toasted each other. "I got my period this afternoon, so I figured it's safe to drink a little tonight." She smiled sadly. "We only ditched the condoms a few weeks ago, but…I don't know, Kagome." She wiped at tears which seemed to spring from nowhere. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's illogical to get this upset."

Kagome wrapped her arms around her friend. "Honey, there's nothing wrong with you. And shit, you're not a Vulcan. If you are upset, there's a reason."

"I know." She buried her face in Kagome's shoulder, grateful to be in the company of someone who would let her emote and not judge. "Miroku laughed it off, joking we'll just have to try harder. Wink, nudge. He meant well, but I really just need to talk about the disappointment."

"I'm listening."

Sango sighed. "I don't want to become one of those couples who haven't conceived in six months or a year or two. I don't want sex to become a means to an end. I don't want every month to find bloody sheets or underwear and feel like I've miscarried. Miroku wants kids so badly." She sniffed, face still hidden. "I'm afraid of disappointing him."

"Sango…" Kagome stroked her straight, black hair. "You've always been a goal-oriented person, and this is something you don't have a whole lot of active control over. We can choose things to help us _not_ become pregnant, but when we want to, we just have to let it happen. Trust your body. And trust your husband. Miroku loves you, with or without kids." Kagome pushed Sango up and kissed her cheek. "Now, no more talking about disappointment. You've been off the pill for two months and using condoms for one of those. I'll cry with you if you aren't pregnant come spring, but for now, I command you to be happy."

"You're right," she said, a smile coaxed out. "And I _know_ all that. I think I just needed to say it out loud. Give voice to my irrational fears."

Kagome nodded. "Trust me, no one is more aware that fears left unspoken only become more scary."

Sango kissed her cheek and rubbed off the red lipstick mark. "You would make a good therapist."

"Nah." Kagome blushed brighter than the cosmetic smudge; it felt good to have Sango compliment her advice. "I think I'll stick to my silly column and being a friend. Therapists can't say things like, Quitcherbitchin. Get drunk with me."

While Kagome laid Miroku's clothes out, Sango said as casually as she could manage, "Sooo…is Sesshoumaru spending the night too?"

Kagome shot a scathing glance over her shoulder. "Yes. And don't start. I mean it."

"Extra defensive tonight?"

"We had a fight after the show last week," Kagome said. Her voice was quiet and self-conscious.

Sango waited to see if she would change the subject; she knew Kagome would continue if she wanted. "What happened?"

"He was being an over-protective jerk." Kagome squirmed under the weight of Sango's patient, silent stare. "I was flirting with some guy, and Sesshoumaru went all cave man on me."

Sango raised a single brow and simply said, "Some guy?"

"Kagura's brother, Naraku."

Her other brow met the first. "That guy who sabotaged you finding an apartment this spring."

"Well," Kagome said, glowering, "he's fucking hot and…I saw Sesshoumaru with Kagura. They looked like they were messing around in the dark, and it made me feel all naughty and reckless."

"So Sesshoumaru saw you and—"

"And," Kagome interrupted, "we had an argument. Very short. No hard feelings."

"Too bad it didn't end up with make-up sex." Sango easily caught the pillow that came sailing toward her head, but was unprepared for the furious barrage that followed.

"That is _it_!" The uncharacteristic razor-sharp edge to her voice had a life of its own. "I've fucking had _enough_. First you keep pestering me, and now Jak is implying that he's got something cooked up to get us in bed tonight. I swear if you two do anything to embarrass Sesshoumaru, I'm not speaking to either of you again. Sango, I love you. But if you don't knock it off…" She flopped down on the bed, unsure if she wanted to continue with the threat that was on the tip of her tongue. She heaved a sigh; fighting didn't interest her. "Confession time? My reaction to thinking he was with Kagura confused the hell out of me. And I've been too much of a weak-kneed scaredy cat to analyze why. You and Jak aren't helping. It just makes me want to pull away more."

Sango sat next to her. The last thing she wanted was Kagome to be even more stubbornly insistent that there wasn't a spark between her and Sesshoumaru. "Kagome, I'm sorry. It's just…I know he likes you. We only want you to be happy."

Kagome rested her head on Sango's shoulder, all forgiven. "When I decide to awaken my hibernating sex life, I'll probably be a basket case. If someday there is something between me and Sesshoumaru, I want it to be because it happens naturally, not because my friends are meddling idiots. I won't need to add to the inevitable self-doubt."

"Understood." Sango hugged Kagome and handed her the near-empty glass. "We meant no harm, honey. You've just helped so many of us idiots with our untidy romantic lives, I merely sought to return the favor."

Kagome attempted a smile. "You want to help me?"

"Anything."

Kagome stood and stretched. "All the sitting I've done the past six weeks has resulted in a flare-up of my sciatica. Can you try to rub some of the angst from my spasming piriformis muscle? My massage therapist was booked all week, and exercise helps, but only so much."

"Sure. Show me what to do."

XxXxX

Kouga and Ayame arrived, as did several other friends; greetings and introductions were made; Jak excused himself to put out the food. The men downstairs had exhausted the usual topics of conversation—local politics and business and, of course, sports. Sesshoumaru briefed them on the status of the arena, now mythic in the imaginations of the city's sports fans. Shop talk finished, Sesshoumaru and Miroku went to reunite with Kagome and Sango.

As they walked up the stairs to join the women, Miroku thought about the Taisho brothers. Though their distinct looks unmistakably marked them as brothers, they seemed different as night and day. Sesshoumaru was reserved and contemplative as he took everything in, his responsibility and power such an integral part of his personality that it was obvious to all who spent three seconds in the same the room with him that he commanded respect without the need to justify it. Inuyasha, on the other hand, was loud and brash, but those close to him knew not only was he deeply sensitive and caring, he was no less responsible. In the younger brother though, responsibility was like a hidden brand on the skin, still part of his fundamental nature, but something he only showed to the people who mattered. Both men were intensely private and difficult to get to know well. Both were intelligent and honorable. Miroku suspected the brothers would have been great friends eventually if given the chance.

Upon nearing the room, they heard the distinct sounds of Kagome moaning, low, inarticulate sighs of pleasure, mingled with high-pitched whimpers of pain. "Ooooohh Sango, yesss like that." The door was significantly ajar. "God Sango, it's so gooood. Aaaahh. Please…nooooohhh…don't stop." They paused and looked at each other with twin expressions of incomprehension. "Can you get even deeper? Oooh yeah. Fuuuuck yeah." They stopped and waited, both content to simply bask in the serendipitous audio voyeurism.

Sango said, "I'm worried I'll hurt you."

Kagome said, "Impossible. I neeeed the tension off that nerve." More moans, more pitiful noises that skirted the borders of agony and bliss.

"My hand is getting tired, Kagome."

"Use your elbow."

_Elbow?_ Miroku had heard enough. "This I've got to see." He pushed the door open and entered, followed close behind by Sesshoumaru. Both women were fully clothed, Kagome stretched out on the bed face down and Sango massaging her left gluteal muscle. The scene, though not expected, was a reasonable one; they were nonetheless mildly disappointed by the lack of fantasy fulfillment.

Sango saw them first, but she didn't know they had been on the other side of the door for several minutes, minds gleefully residing in the gutter. "Hey!" she said, getting up. "What do you think of the dress?"

Kagome rose and recognized their transparent faux-innocence immediately. "You perverts."

"The dress is sexy," Miroku said, skillfully avoiding the accusation of debauchery, "but only because you're wearing it." He kissed his wife on the mouth, sneaking in an affectionate ass squeeze. "What about me?" he asked Kagome.

She rolled her eyes and gestured to the red pants and white t-shirt lying on the bed. Miroku went into the bathroom to change and reappeared a minute later.

Kagome messed up his hair, adding liberal amounts of hairspray, and put a black leather collar around his neck, then led him to stand next to Sango. "Perfect." She pulled a CD out of her purse and showed Sesshoumaru. It pictured a dark-haired couple dressed in red and white, posing in front of a red background, with the words _The White Stripes_ at the top. "Their first album."

"Uncanny," was his verdict.

After Miroku and Sango left with giggles and whispers about finding an empty room, Kagome turned her attention to Sesshoumaru, who was waiting and watching her. Her heart began to pound, and her face flushed red and hot. She had made Halloween outfits for her friends for years, but unveiling the costume she had designed and sewn just for him suddenly took on great personal significance. He had agreed to dress up for the party, something he wasn't inclined to do, and she was seized with dread that he wouldn't approve. It left her feeling like a shy, vulnerable child.

Sesshoumaru frowned. Though no longer so somber, she was still acting oddly. Different from her usual blushing, charming awkwardness, she almost seemed uncomfortable around him. He didn't like it.

"Ready?" she asked.

"As I'll ever be."

His voice was friendly, and Kagome tried to relax. She carefully pulled a large mass of white fabric from the garment bag. "I thought long and hard about what you should be," Kagome said. "I kinda knew I wanted to do something mythical, otherworldly, but had a helluva time pinpointing _what_. I thought about different heroic legends and the research I'd done on Japanese mythology concerning Amaterasu and Susanoo, and the perfect idea struck me. Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto."

A smile flickered. "The Shinto god of the moon?"

Kagome nodded. "He's not as well known as his siblings, so there aren't nearly as many artistic representations. At first I was bummed out, then I realized it was a blessing. I had near total artistic freedom." She laid a pile of silk in his arms. "I chose white because it seemed…celestial, lunar." The silk flowed like liquid as he held it up to see. The long robe was the white of pearl, with geometric detail in blood red embroidery at the bottom and sleeve hems and across the left shoulder. Closer inspection showed flower shapes nestled within hexagons. "The red, I'll admit was because that's what I had loaded in my embroidery machine and I was too lazy to change it out, but I do like how the vibrancy contrasts with the starkness of the white. The beehive design is a download that I've had my eye on for a while." Explanation finished, she held her breath, praying he wouldn't reject it.

"Your work is lovely, Kagome," he said.

"So you'll wear it? Willingly?" she asked, still feeling insecure. His face was impassive, and she wished she could read his mind.

He nodded. "I consider myself lucky. Tsukuyomi is preferable to…what was the thing you said this morning? Pillsbury Dough Boy?"

Kagome's laugh was tinged with guilt. "I hope you know all that was joking. I may like to tease, but I'd never do anything to humiliate you." They locked eyes for an instant before she turned abruptly. She gave him two more pieces, a white article of clothing and a long yellow sash with purple trim. "Here's a juban to wear underneath. It's just made of cotton jersey. Should be pretty comfortable. And this length of silk can you can tie around your waist."

Sesshoumaru was glad she was beginning to regain her normal easy manner, but couldn't resist baiting her. "Where's the fundoshi?"

Kagome was shocked into silence, never dreaming that Sesshoumaru would say such a thing. "Uhhh…." The idea of handing him fabric for a loincloth had her breaking out in a cold sweat. She could hear Inuyasha's uproarious, side-splitting laughter in her head. Then she saw a gleam of amusement dancing in his eyes. "You creep," she said with a wide smile. "Find your own damn underwear." She herded him into the bathroom with playful shoves, successfully keeping her hand from swatting his ass and her mind from imagining said ass sporting a tightly twisted fundoshi.

In the few minutes he spent in the bathroom changing, she tried to breathe deeply and center, telling herself that the flirty note in his voice was her imagination. She was not yet ready to explore the idea of the two of them together, and it would not do to have him the one making inappropriate sexual innuendos. "That's my job, goddamn it," she said aloud. Still, she was grateful that his comment had snapped her out of anxiety mode.

When the door opened and he came out, her breath caught in her throat. She had always been confident of her instincts for colors and textures, but Sesshoumaru, standing tall next to her, so effortlessly filling the space, surprised even her sense of artistic vanity.

He did indeed look like a god. The silk clung to his frame in a way that accentuated the broadness of his chest and shoulders and the implied, understood strength in his arms. The color was perfect, complementing both his long hair and clear, flawless skin. Few people could pull off wearing so much of the same tone without becoming lost, and on him the effect was ethereal.

"You look really good. Come sit and I'll do something with your hair."

"I hope you don't plan on using that vile-smelling spray."

"No. You're safe." Kagome knelt behind him on the sofa and began to brush his hair. She smiled to herself as he immediately relaxed against her and closed his eyes. "So, you're a head slut just like your brother."

His mouth twitched, but he didn't open his eyes and said nothing. The brushing and her nearness were paradise, and he wouldn't risk ending either prematurely.

Kagome had always loved to touch things, exploring textures and surfaces, sometimes resorting to surreptitious stroking if the situation necessitated it. And now she had permission. Her hands caressed his smooth, glossy hair, working it through her fingers as she braided and added mother-of-pearl beads to catch the light. She could have stayed there next to him for hours, their bodies simply touching, but there was a party to attend and she hadn't even begun to get dressed. When she finally declared his hair finished, she had a feeling that he was as disappointed as she that it was over.

"Make-up?" she asked sweetly.

"Must you?"

"Don't you trust me?"

He stared at her a moment. Trust was something he gave to a select few people who had consistently exhibited discretion, loyalty, and good judgment, thereby earning his high opinion. He doubted there was currently anyone he considered more a friend and safer to trust than her. "You said earlier that you wouldn't embarrass me."

"Never. Okay…nothing that you couldn't easily laugh away," she said with a wink. "Besides, you should realize by now my ego won't let me ruin the art project that your costume has turned into." She fetched a cosmetics bag from her purse and contemplated the next step. "I think I'll take a page from Rin's playbook." She selected a magenta eye pencil and sharpened it. "Close your eyes. Won't hurt a bit. I promise."

He complied and remembered Rin's session of Beauty Parlor, wondering rakishly if Kagome would consent to sit in his lap like their niece had. "You mentioned earlier that you dated Bank."

"Yeah. This was ages ago, before all the badness. We had dinner a few times, and I had a giant crush on him." Using delicate motions, she covered his eyelid with color. "It's not like he gives off a huge gay vibe. Finally after a movie one night I got him to make out with me. Close your eyes," she chastened. She finished and moved on to the side of his face.

Sesshoumaru watched her as she drew on his cheek. She chewed on her lip to concentrate, stopping occasionally to adjust the line with little dabs of a Q-Tip. She was so close he could see the pulse fluttering in her neck and flecks of light brown in her irises. She was so close it would only take the smallest movement to bring her closer. But he dared not; anything he started would be quickly ended. She had friends waiting for her downstairs.

"He was an amazing kisser, but I could tell he had absolutely no interest in being with me. So I said, 'You're gay, aren't you.' He apologized for using me as window dressing, that he was afraid of not getting clients if he came out of the closet." She paused, examining the lines to accurately duplicate them on his other cheekbone. "We stopped the pretense and ended up becoming really good friends. Then a few years ago Inuyasha went with me to the Back Door, and who should hit on him but Jak. I introduced Bank and Jak, thinking they would hit it off, and of course I was right. After much hand wringing and late-night talks with yours truly, Bank decided to come out. And they lived happily ever after. Jak is a natural for helping run the Inn, and luckily Bank's estate-planning practice didn't suffer." She got out a blue pencil and traced a crescent moon on his forehead.

Finished, she sat back to appraise her handy-work, but instead two things became apparent. The first was his striking, haunting features. She had always thought him one of the most gorgeous men she'd ever met, but the colors on his face—the amber gift of genetics and the garnet and sapphire she added—highlighted his bone structure and symmetry to perfection. He was breathtaking. Her admiration as an aesthete was a given; her reaction as a woman made her a puddle of goo. Her second realization, which made the first more Earth-shattering, was that they were, at most, twelve inches apart and only moments before had been much closer. "You look really good." Her voice was hoarse and shaky. She fumbled for a mirror and held it up so he could see.

He didn't take his eyes from her. "You said that earlier."

"I should get ready."

He raised a hand to her face and traced the line of her jaw. "Should you?"

"I…I should." She got up and ran to the garment bag. "I'll need twenty minutes. Go claim the room next door before someone else does."

Only a matter of time and circumstance, he assured himself. "I've got a few phone calls to make. Come get me when you're ready."

"Okay. And don't smear your face!"

XxXxX

Kagome made her grand entrance into the ballroom where the party was now in full swing expecting to be congratulated on her creativity and sense of humor. Instead she was faced with confusion and blank expressions. "Come on. You really can't guess what I am?"

She was wearing a black sequin-covered top and matching mini skirt, iridescent tights, and shiny patent leather heels. Every inch of skin, including her face, was covered in body glitter. Her hair was sprayed with glitter. She even had on jeweled false eyelashes.

"A disco ball?" Bank guessed.

Kagome stuck out her tongue at him. "_No_, not a disco ball."

"Ooo I know," Jak said. "You're a glow-in-the-dark hooker."

Kagome shook her head. "No!" Her exasperation was increasing. "See. I've got fangs. _Fangs_."

Still nothing.

Sesshoumaru entered the room and handed her a drink. "I didn't know either," he said to no one in particular.

"I'm a Sparkly Vampire." She waited for the strands of pop culture DNA to connect. Her friends may not peruse the Young Adult section of the bookstore, but they paid at least moderate attention to the media. "You know," she prompted, "from _Twilight_? Get it?"

Sango, who got it, snorted. "I wish Inuyasha was here."

The others were clueless, much to Kagome's annoyance.

"What's a Sparkly Vampire?" Miroku asked.

"Come on," Kagome said in disbelief. "You must have heard of _Twilight_."

"I've heard of it, but since I'm neither a fifteen year old girl nor the mother of a fifteen year old girl, I don't know any particulars. You'll need to explain."

Kagome sighed. "The vampires in _Twilight_ sparkle."

"But vampires don't sparkle," Bank said.

"These vampires sparkle," Sango said with a wicked grin. "In the sun."

"Vampires are supposed to die in the sun," Bank and Miroku said simultaneously.

"I know that," Kagome said. "Oh never mind." Her shoulders slumped. "I've never had Costume Fail like this. Are you guys living in a cave? And what happened to your sense of irony?" Kagome's past obsession with _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and other more conventional and less sparkly vampires was well known.

Jak inspected the floor around her. "Ugh. Kagome, you're shedding glitter everywhere."

She glanced down. "Oh sorry. I'll help you vacuum tomorrow."

He wasn't convinced. "Alright, but you're not allowed to sit on any of the antique furniture." She deflated even more. He gave her a hug, taking care not to get glitter on himself. "Stop pouting. I think you look cute. And the fangs are awesome. They don't look like the usual fake teeth."

Kagome smiled, showing off her elongated canines. Finally she was getting some props. "Friendly plastic. It holds its shape really well."

Kouga and Ayame, dressed in an orange prison jumpsuit and skimpy police uniform respectively, joined them. "Hey! Happy Halloween."

"Damn," Kagome purred, "you two rock. I hope those outfits came with some handcuffs."

"No," Ayame said, "but we can improvise."

"I hate to change the subject." Bank said. "Kouga, Miroku and I are planning on sharing a hotel room for the state bar association convention in February. Are you interested? I'm speaking at a CLE and can get a double room for single room price if I choose. I need to finalize reservations soon."

"Sounds great. I'll tell my secretary to call you."

Jak stared, open-mouthed. "I wanna go! Three hot men in a hotel room? You _have_ to take me with."

Bank patted his boyfriend's gladiator ass gently. "Sorry, you need to stay here. The Inn is already half booked."

"But…but…"

Kagome patted the other butt cheek. "It's okay. We'll have a left-behind party when they're gone."

Sango snickered. Kouga, Bank, and Miroku were standing next to each other, and she couldn't resist. "So we have a Corporate Lawyer, an Estate Planner, and a General Litigator…otherwise known as Tool for Big Business, Tax Cheat Enabler, and Ambulance Chaser. Insert lawyer joke here."

"For the record," Miroku said, "personal injury work is a very small part of my caseload." He waited, resigned for the inevitable mocking.

Kagome stepped up to the plate. "What do you call a sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?"

"Imaginary?" Sango guessed.

"The caterer."

"How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?" Sango said. "Three. One to screw in the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and one to sue the ladder company."

Kagome laughed; she hadn't heard that version of the standard light bulb joke. "How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?"

Sango knew this one. "His lips are moving. What's the difference between God and a lawyer?"

"God doesn't think he's a lawyer." Kagome had heard it before, but with back surgeon as the target of derision. "How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?"

"How?" Sango asked. This was a new one for her.

"Just say _Fees_."

"Very funny," Miroku said. "Are you two finished?"

"One more," Kagome said. "A lawyer was lying on the beach in the Caribbean. He wanted to start a conversation with the man next to him so he said, 'I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed. The insurance company paid for all of it, and I decided to take a vacation.' 'What a coincidence,' the other man said. 'I'm here because all I owned was destroyed by a flood, and my insurance also paid for everything.' The lawyer considered this for a moment, and then, looking somewhat confused, asked, 'How do you start a flood?'"

"Ha, ha," Bank said, clearly not amused. "Everyone hates attorneys until they need one."

"You know we love you," Kagome said. "I'm going to the kitchen. Anyone need a drink?"

Kagome went to refill her beverage and saw Kanna. She was wearing the green schoolgirl outfit that Kagome had worn the year before. "Hey hon! You look great!"

"Kagome! I'd hug you, but I'm not interested in getting glitter all over me." The two air-kissed. "What are you anyway?"

Kagome scowled. "I'm an example of why you shouldn't reference pop culture that hasn't been turned into a movie or video game yet." She glanced around. "Did you come with dreamy Doctor Aaron," she asked under her breath.

Kanna giggled—a high-pitched, vacuous sound to mimic a stereotypical girl, sure to keep her in character. "He's meeting me here soon." She poured a drink and became more serious. "I don't know, Kagome. I work with doctors and their egos. He's cute and nice, but I don't know if I want to date one."

"Kanna," Kagome said, "he's a dermatologist. He pops zits for a living. How big can his ego possibly be? And I assure you, his bedside manner is quite pleasant."

Kanna craned her neck to see the foyer. "I think he's here. Catch you later!"

Sesshoumaru appeared next to Kagome. "Actually Aaron is a specialist in Mohs surgery, treating skin cancer." He smirked with amusement as she blushed from embarrassment.

"That totally sounded patronizing, didn't it? Don't tell him I said that."

"Of course not. You're quite the little matchmaker, aren't you?"

She recovered from her faux pas and laughed. "It's a fun way to stick my nose where it doesn't belong." She took his arm. "Let's go mingle."

XxXxX

The party went on for hours, breaking up past midnight, leaving only the core group of good friends gathered around the big screen television to watch _The Host_. When it was over, Kagome—emotional due to slight inebriation, the late hour, and the end of the movie—became weepy.

"Inuyasha would have loved it," she said after blowing her nose. "I miss them so much…" She started to choke up again.

Miroku, who was seated nearby, reached out and squeezed her hand. "We all miss them," he said. "They would be happy to know we are together tonight thinking of them."

"You're right," Kagome said. "They would be." She looked at Sesshoumaru, sitting next to her, and tried on a brave smile. She was certain that somewhere Inuyasha was watching, glad that she and his brother were part of each other's lives and raising his daughter.

"You asked me to make a video for Rin of clips of her parents," Bank said. "I made a non-Rin-safe one for you too. Over the years I captured some classic Inuyasha moments on camera. There won't ever be anyone like him. Do you want me to get it?"

Kagome shook her head. "Nah. I think I'll save it for a rainy day. I'm okay. Just being with you guys helps."

"Remind me before you leave to give the discs to you." Bank stood to refresh his drink. "If anyone else wants a copy, let me know."

"Speaking of videos," Sango said, "are we ever going to get the film society up and running again? The university is going to show _Lust, Caution_ next month."

"They are?" Kagome squealed. "I thought I'd have to wait for it to be released on DVD." She turned to Sesshoumaru. "At the risk of exposing even more of my nerdiness, I'll explain. Several years ago, Kikyou and I went on a foreign film bender and, because he is so incredibly sexy and talented, started the We Love Tony Leung Society. Part movie watching, part drinking game, all fangirl nonsense. At first it was just me, Sango, my sister, and a couple of her social worker friends, then eventually everyone started showing up."

"I think you mentioned something about this once," he said. So she likes Asian cinema, he thought, and reflected for a moment about how his initial judgment of her, that of an unrefined, vapid party-girl, was so far off the mark. He wondered, had he known of her intelligence and varied interests, if he would have accepted Inuyasha's offers to set them up on a date. And if he had, would they have even gotten along? He speculated that they probably wouldn't be able to stand each other.

"We'd meet monthly, took turns hosting, had different themes. Kinda fell apart after the events of this spring."

Bank sat back down. "Well, I think getting a group together for _Lust, Caution_ is the perfect opportunity to restart it."

"We can go out for dinner first," Jak said. "We can go to Itadakimasu for sushi."

"We always go there," Kagome said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Let's go to Maido instead. Their Daughter of the Dragon roll is the spiciest thing I've ever eaten, and I'm craving it."

"Nooo," Jak whined. "Kagome, not everyone likes it when their food hurts them. We aren't all endorphin junkies. Were you aware," he said to Sesshoumaru, "that the woman sitting next to you used to carry a bottle of Tabasco around—"

Kagome rushed over and covered Jak's mouth. "Shut up," she laughed. "Don't bust me! My hot sauce addiction was short-lived." They tussled briefly, resulting in Jak's mortified realization that he was now covered in glitter. Kagome returned to her seat, not bothering to hide her shit-eating grin. "The only reason you want to go to Itadakimasu is because you think the waiters are hot."

"Your point? Wait staff hotness factor is a perfectly rational criterion when choosing a restaurant. It's almost as important as the quality of the wine list and lack of tacky decor. And don't be so bossy, Kagome. I think we should vote."

"The We Love Tony Leung Society is a dictatorship, not a democracy," she growled. "Think of me as your overlord."

"Alright you two," Bank said, yawning. "Enough bickering. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm ready for bed."

The hosts and remaining guests made farewells and left one by one, some going up to their rooms, some going home. Kagome hung back with Sesshoumaru.

"My buzz has made me too hyper to sleep. Would you like to stay up a little longer and have a cup of tea with me?"

"I'd like that very much."

As they walked to the kitchen, Sesshoumaru abandoned the last shred of his urge to seduce her that night. He had no intention of taking advantage of a drunk woman, and though Kagome was only a bit tipsy, he didn't want her to wake the next morning full of regrets and excuses. He wanted her to respond to him with her wits intact, to make a conscious choice to be with him. He needed to know that alcohol wasn't clouding her judgment. And he needed their first time together to be the first of many, not the only. She had become more than a flirtation and potential fling, and never before had he felt there was so much at stake in his pursuit of a woman. Waiting for the right opportunity was worth the frustration. At his core, he was calculating and patient.

Kagome put water on the stove and got out cups and tea bags. "Your mother wants to come over and discuss Rin's birthday party tomorrow. She's talking about pony rides in the backyard."

Sesshoumaru laughed. The seldom-heard sound surprised him and made Kagome grin like a madwoman. His mother was finally living her dream of doting grandmother, successfully transferring her equine obsession to the next generation. "I hope you didn't have something else in mind. Nothing would make my mother happier than to indulge Rin on her birthday. The riding lessons so far have gone over well. And we have several years to make up."

"As long as I can bake the cake," Kagome said. She knew her place. She was not about to stand in the way of Rin's blooming relationship with her only living grandparents. "I just hope the weather is as nice as it was today. And I can't wait to see Oberon's reaction to a horse."

"Now that you mention the dog, did you know that my father is allowing him to sleep in Rin's room tonight?"

"Yeah, I was there when she asked him if he could. It was that or someone going over to let him out first thing tomorrow morning."

"Do you realize what that means?" She obviously didn't.

Kagome narrowed her eyes. "I know your dad is kind of fussy…"

Fussy didn't even cover it. "Hn. He doesn't like animals. At all. When we were kids, Inuyasha and I used to beg him constantly for a pet. A dog would have been ideal, but I think we would have settled for fish. Every birthday, Christmas…it was a never-ending refrain that lasted for years and fell on deaf ears. For him to allow your beast in our house must mean something…I'm just not entirely sure what."

"I must have wakened some latent love of dogs in him." The way he was conversing with her gave Kagome warm fuzzies. He was actually starting to open up to her. Must be the liquor, she thought. "I like it when you talk about your childhood. You need to do it more often."

The kettle on the stove started to whistle. Kagome poured the water and handed him a steaming cup. "Have you been busy at work? You went to the office on probably the most beautiful day of the year."

"Very busy. You wouldn't be interested."

"Try me. You're always so quiet. I like talking to you."

He studied her a minute, trying to decide if she did care or was simply flattering him. "The arena is a perpetual thorn in the side. Lately though I've been busy with a new hotel. The construction is almost finished, and so this week was spent setting up a new division to run it. The grand opening will be in February."

"Is it that building on Sixth, the one a couple blocks from your office? I read in the paper that it will be the greenest hotel in the country."

He nodded. "We've employed a lot of new technology in energy efficiency. And the living roof was designed by an award-winning landscape architect. Sometimes I think if I never hear the word sustainability again, I'll be happy, but it is worth it in the end. The publicity has been overwhelmingly positive, and this is the future not only of architecture, but also urban design."

Kagome regarded him through lowered lashes and sipped her tea. "When we first met, I thought you were an uptight, workaholic businessman whose only concern was the bottom line and profit margins. I couldn't have been more wrong."

He smiled softly. Her first impression was relatively accurate. "And I thought you were the female version of my brother. Lazy, careless, without ambition. I know now that I misjudged you both."

They were silent as they drank their tea and contemplated their friendship, which had become a vital, important one, despite their differences.

"I hope you had an okay time tonight. I know my friends and I can be hard for outsiders to take at times."

"I like your friends. Bank and Jak were excellent hosts."

"Thank you. For coming with. And letting me dress you up. I know this wasn't exactly your ideal way to spend an evening."

"I'm glad I came. Perhaps I needed to broaden my definition of fun."

Cups empty, Kagome said, "Thanks for staying up and talking. I'm used to late nights, but this is probably past your bedtime."

They left the kitchen and climbed the stairs toward their rooms. Sesshoumaru let his hand linger at her lower back—a subtle promise of things to come. She didn't shy away.

They reached their destination, two separate doors next to each other.

"Will you like to come over tomorrow afternoon? Rin and I are going to carve pumpkins."

"I'll warn you, I have limited experience. Halloween, until this year, had always been a non-holiday for me."

"No experience necessary."

"I'll come over after Kendo practice." They stood in the corridor, neither making a move to go inside. "Kagome, you said once you would have dinner with me."

Her heart sped up. Just dinner, but there was no mistaking—it was a date. Calm down, she told herself. It was Sesshoumaru, someone she trusted. "I can do dinner."

He closed the distance between them. "Next Saturday? Portabella?"

Kagome blanched. Portabella was elegant, expensive, and known as the most romantic restaurant in town. He wasn't fooling around. "Portabella?" she squeaked.

"I thought you liked Italian."

I can do this I can do this I can do this, she chanted in her head. "Portabella sounds divine." Her new courage abandoned her, and she backed away and put her hand on the doorknob.

One step at a time, he reminded himself. "Goodnight, Kagome."

"Goodnight, Sesshoumaru. See you in the morning."

She retreated into the blue room and ran a bath. It was late, but the glitter needed to be washed off. Then she remembered something.

She quickly knocked on Sesshoumaru's door. After a minute it opened, revealing Sesshoumaru wearing pajama bottoms, a confused expression, and nothing else. Kagome froze, wide-eyed, slack-jawed, and struck dumb. She had taken his measurements the week before and knew he was powerfully built, but nothing could have prepared her for seeing him topless. The fact that she hadn't seen naked male flesh that wasn't that of her brother-in-law in nearly two years only made the situation more cruel. He looked like Sex on a Stick. She feared she was having a heart attack.

"Kagome? What's wrong?"

"Uhhh…I…ummm…" She half handed, half threw the bottle of eye make-up remover. Reduced to incoherence, she spun and fled to the safety of her room. "Oh my god. Oh my _god_. What have I gotten myself into?"

&&&

I do not own Inuyasha, _The Host_, _The White Stripes_, any _Star Trek_ species, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, _Twilight_, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, _Lust, Caution_, or Tabasco. To clear up any confusion about the _Twilight_ movie, this fic thus far takes place in 2007. No actual lawyers were insulted in the writing of this chapter (only my husband, and he's a good sport). Thank you for reading!


	26. Rin's Special Day and Things Fall Apart

The Taisho's property had been transformed. Hours earlier, the lawn, a vast, uninterrupted expanse of green bordered by tall trees crowned in autumn glory, now was overrun with young children astride pretend horses in anticipation of a pony ride. Mrs. Taisho's rose bushes were obscured by a canopy draped with lavender and silver streamers and ribbon, under which were three tables, also covered in matching crepe streamers and Mylar balloons. On one table coordinating Magical Unicorn party favors, plates, cups, and napkins sat in front of twelve chairs. On another were several chafing dishes and a large white and lavender cake. The third was piled high with presents of all sizes and shapes, challenging laws of gravity. In the driveway next to the bumper sticker-covered minivan was parked a pick-up and horse trailer.

Kagome didn't know what to think about the whole extravaganza.

Rin's fourth birthday party consisted of four children cavorting at Memorial Park playground, followed by pizza delivery and cupcakes. Her presents were a set of _Flower Fairies_ books and a kid-sized Ramones t-shirt from her parents, a homemade rag doll from Kagome, finger paints from Sango and Miroku, a set of blocks and a puzzle from the downstairs neighbors and Shippou. The only large animal present was Oberon, who never had to suffer the indignity of children on his back—_he's a dog, not a horse_ was Kagome's typical reply when asked if he could be ridden. The two scenes couldn't be more different. And this was just the party—her real birthday was still days away.

"Kagome," Sango said, "I recognize that 'we're not in Kansas anymore' look on your face. It's okay." The two women were in the guest house, heating up apple cider to serve with the luncheon.

"I know. It's just…I can't help but wonder what Inuyasha and Kikyou would make of this. Like how many families could be pulled out of poverty by the amount of money spent today."

Sango gave her a little hug. "Under the circumstances, Rin's first birthday without her parents and her first with her formerly unknown grandparents, Inuyasha and Kikyou would approve."

Kagome looked through the huge kitchen window at Rin as she ran and laughed with her guests. "You're right. Birthdays are for pampering. It's the other three hundred sixty four that I need to make sure don't go out of control." Having lost their own parents far before they were ready, Kikyou and Kagome knew too well the importance of placing value on people and not possessions. Of course, they were both packrats with a love of books and clothes and an appreciation of the finer things in life, but they wanted to pass on to Rin the concept of being content with less and that it was friends and family, not things, that mattered. And she acknowledged that a part of her wanted to preserve the child exactly as she was when her parents were killed, when their influence on her had been highest. She knew it was unrealistic—change was part of growing—but she firmly promised herself that Inuyasha and Kikyou would live on in their daughter. "I won't say anything today, but I'll have to tamp down the consumerism before Christmas approaches. They're coming around though." She looked at Sango with a twinkle in her eye, cheering up considerably. "I got all three Taishos to go trick-or-treating with me and Rin."

Sango was impressed and tickled at the way her friend could still get people out their comfort zones to try new things and take chances. It began in college with Kagome's roommate Kanna's dysfunctional quiet and continued with finally, after two years of alternating between sexual tension and outright hostility, getting her and Miroku together. "Oh, really? Do tell."

"Yep. Rin and I dressed up as non-sparkly vampires; great candy haul. I found out that when Sesshoumaru and Yasha were kids, the nanny took them trick-or-treating on the few years they went. Can you believe that?" Kagome had teased that she was going out with a group of trick-or-treat virgins, but then was somewhat shocked to hear that Mr. Taisho was always too busy and his wife was too sick on that oh-so-important night in the year of a kid.

Sango nodded. "That maybe explains a lot of Inuyasha's loving Halloween so hard. Trying to capture what he never had growing up."

"Yeah. I already knew he hardly had a normal childhood, but didn't really appreciate what it meant. I couldn't imagine sending a surrogate out on Halloween." She sighed. "You should have seen Mr. Taisho though. He totally ate it up."

"Realized the fun he had missed?"

They looked on as Mrs. Taisho and her friend from the stables where she rode led two ponies, one black and one white, from the trailer. Both animals had colorful ribbons tied in their manes and tails, and the white one had a false, though fairly convincing, unicorn horn attached to its head. The kids saw the ponies and simmered with excitement, but they kept their enthusiasm tightly under control. Mrs. Taisho had given them strict instructions in advance about acting calm around the ponies. They were used to children, she assured them, but they were in an unfamiliar place and no one wanted to take any chances of scaring them. Kagome suspected that was perhaps as much for the adults' benefit. A dozen screeching kids was a frightening thing to behold.

She shook her head, but smiled softly. The two male Taisho were standing together near the big house, neither trying quite as hard as they may have a few months ago to hide their amusement. "The best was Sesshoumaru and Mrs. Taisho watching Ken with Rin on the floor afterward, organizing her loot while she explained the hierarchy. Candy bars at the top, peanut butter kisses and Tootsie Rolls underneath, lollipops and Pixy Stix under that, then jaw breakers and gumballs. Toothbrushes and money have no place. They're in purgatory. But yeah…seeing Sesshoumaru standing in the kitchen watching the display on the living room floor; it was witnessing his discovery of another part of his father. An unguarded, youthful part. I think Ken became more complete in his son's eyes."

"You seem to have had a positive effect on this family, Kagome." She gave her a playful elbow jab. "So nice to see you use your power for good instead of evil."

Kagome laughed. "Eh. They just needed a nudge in the right direction. Someone to gently kick the collective Taisho repressed ass." She turned the heat off the stove and poured the cider into pitchers. "Sango, I want to tell you something, but you need to promise not to act like a moron."

Sango's brow creased with concern—Kagome had lost the lightness in her voice. "Of course, honey."

"Sesshoumaru and I are going on a date tonight."

Sango held in her urge to scream and fist pump triumphantly. "You are ready, you know. You'll be fine."

"I know. I am." She had been ignoring the looming dinner date all week, concentrating on sewing Rin's gift and making her towering cake. Now, mere hours away, she had to face it. "I may need to call you afterward and share though. I have a feeling I'll need some unwinding. Will you be around?"

"Miroku and I are going to see a play and then dinner, but we'll be home around midnight. He had a trial all week and is preparing for a deposition today and tomorrow. We've seen each other for about one waking hour a day, so tonight is just for us. We even agreed to leave the CrackBerries at home."

"You two are the cutest. Theater, cuisine…procreation." She winked at her. "I'll try to wait for morning before I ask you to listen to my incoherent ramblings."

"Kagome," Sango said, "you can do this. Reclaim this last, important part of you." The women embraced—a long, intimate hug, loaded with unspoken words of love and friendship. "Besides, it's just dinner. You don't have to sleep with him."

Kagome got an ill-timed vision of Sesshoumaru shirtless, and her heart rate sped up. "Thank god. I think I'd spontaneously combust." She couldn't stop the blush that bloomed on her face. A goodnight kiss, one that involved two mouths, not simply her lips and his cheek, was a distinct possibility. "We should join the party." She handed Sango one of the pitchers, and they walked from the guest house into the outdoor revelry. "The lawn company was out this morning. At Mr. Taisho's request, they left a giant pile of leaves for the kids to jump in after they have cake."

"You're totally jumping too, aren't you?"

She laughed. It was good to have friends who knew her so well.

XxXxX

The Welsh ponies were a huge success. For an hour and a half, the children took turns riding the unicorn, Dilly, while Mrs. Taisho showed those waiting how to groom Toby, the black pony. The adults were amazed with how well the children listened to instructions, all talking in calm voices, whispering to Toby about how pretty his big, dark eyes were as they offered him handfuls of hay and Mrs. Taisho taught them proper brushing of an equine.

She slid a nubby rubber brush on her hand and used circular motions on the pony's back and flanks, explaining in a patient, friendly manner how important this part would be if he were really muddy. Then, starting at the top of the neck and working down, she used a stiff brush to flick off the dust and muck. Finally she picked up a soft brush and let the children have their turn, showing them the strokes to use and how to be extra gentle in the sensitive places. "He isn't head shy at all, but stay away from his eyes." When they were done, Toby's coat was glossy black, and the children, most possessing little to no horse experience, gained a new connection to an animal.

After each kid had a ride atop Dilly, they were seated and lunch was served, a medley of Pigs-in-a Blanket, Tater Tots, and Cheese Quesadillas. Kagome felt like a drug pusher, darting among the children with her tray of sugar snap peas and red pepper slices, encouraging them to _just try it…you know you want to_. Rin adored both vegetables, and thankfully it took no arm twisting or threats of a cakeless party for the kids to add some color to their plates. Once she had done her nutritional duty, Kagome sat with the other adults and felt a swell of pride at Rin's behavior.

Of the eleven friends she had been allowed to invite, two were new at her school. Rin welcomed them into the fold, paying attention to everyone, not just Shippou and Jordan and Jericho. She asked the new kids to go first during the little I Spy and tongue twister games they played while they ate and made certain they weren't uncomfortable because they didn't know the others as well. When it came time to open presents, Rin asked the shyer of the two new kids to sit next to her. It was a large group of young children to manage, and Kagome was impressed by the way Rin gave her friends equal time and didn't care if two or three were playing without her. So mature, Kagome thought. She and Kikyou, of course, shared a birthday, and extreme drama had been the defining factor of that special day all their years growing up, from accusations of attention hogging to alleged parental favoritism to tears over a perceived inequality of gifts. Fortunately as adults, less competitive and more secure with themselves as individuals, things improved greatly, and the annual event was looked forward to with excitement for weeks before.

Kagome, seated between Sango and Sesshoumaru, was content to observe and let Mrs. Taisho continue to run the show. She was a natural with the kids, and it made Kagome a little sad to know she spent her own sons' childhoods stuck in the spiral of depression and missed so much. She stole glance at Sesshoumaru, wondering if he noticed and how it affected him, but his face wore its usual inscrutable mask. She hoped that someday soon he would trust her enough to confide about lingering sadness and regrets about his youth. He had made subtle references, but she doubted that he had ever _really_ talked to anyone. She hoped…but also respected his need for privacy; Sesshoumaru Taisho was the most introspective, reserved person she'd ever met. Again, the fact that they had become friends surprised her—their rocky beginning and stark differences in personality weren't insurmountable obstacles.

She was pulled from her musing. It was time for presents.

Those from the school friends were all the same thing—Webkinz. Apparently the _in_ gift to give this year, Kagome thought, because instead of being disappointed in the lack of variety, Rin squealed with delight at each plush animal she opened. Cow, Bear, Grey and White Cat, Panda, Koala. Kagome noted the lack of redundancy and decided the children must have been plotting behind her back; there was no way a four or five year old would choose to give a female peer a Gorilla unless the other, cuter options had already been taken. Her conviction that Less is More was flying out into the ether, and she began her own plot of teaching Rin to regift. The girl already had the Elephant and the Lion. No one needed thirteen stuffed animals and accompanying virtual pets.

Once the Webkinz giddiness passed, Mrs. Taisho handed Rin the gift from Sango. Rin's enthusiasm hadn't waned—she ripped the paper off in record time. It was another Webkinz, the Reindeer.

Kagome shot Sango a dark look. "What. The fuck." She kept her voice low, so the kids and elder Taishos couldn't hear.

Sango refused a label of guilty enabler. "It's cute. And you said Barbie was banned." Kikyou had a well-known hatred of Barbie and Bratz dolls, one that Kagome shared with a diminished intensity, but had every intention of respecting.

Kagome didn't respond; her present was currently being opened. The idea came to her on a random, unseasonably cold night a few weeks before, when they discovered that all Rin's warm flannel pajamas, which hadn't been worn in seven months, no longer fit. Kagome kicked herself for failing to foresee this need, clothed the girl in sweatpants, and went the next day to a fabric store to purchase yards of several fun and cute prints, ones Rin would like. She also happened upon a major find. Serendipity, she thought, as she bought the whole bolt of rereleased limited edition flannel print, not caring about the price.

Rin giggled as she pulled out the first set of pajamas, which were festooned with chubby polar bears sledding and building snowmen. A set with enchanting green fairies followed, then a dark blue nightgown with fluffy white sheep jumping over a fence rail. Kagome held her breath as Rin pulled the last item from the box—a bathrobe. The fabric was a scene of dogs playing poker and dogs playing pool.

Sango laughed; she and Miroku each had robes made of the same fabric. They were seldom worn, saved for cold and lazy Sunday mornings and serving mainly as loved relics of their friend's sense of humor. Sesshoumaru scowled. Though his opinion of Kagome had changed considerably since he had first seen her ugly robe, the object in question had not become any less loathsome. Rin hugged her new robe tightly. The one that she had outgrown had teddy bears wearing diapers on it. Now she had a grown-up one, just like her aunt's.

"If I can bear to throw the old one away, I might make myself a replacement." Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru with a playful expression. "And I've got plenty of fabric left…for at least some pajama pants."

Sesshoumaru's scowl deepened. "I will stand by my original assessment. Most tasteless, least attractive fabric ever."

Kagome stared at him a moment. "In the kingdom of kitsch you would be a monster."

A smile played at the edge of his mouth. "Quoting Milan Kundera won't make your robe any less ugly."

She thrilled inwardly that the reference wasn't lost; he didn't disappoint. "No," she laughed. "It's _fun_. Embrace your inner dork."

"Kagome, I have no inner dork." The smile didn't quite disappear. "Yours is sufficiently developed for both of us."

Sango noticed the flirty rapport between the two, naughty and familiar, with an undeniable current of sensuality sparking between them. If Kagome was deprived of a reason to run away, if she could let go of her fears, there could be something long lasting in their future.

Present opening continued with the gift from the Taishos. Rin unwrapped a large box and, with Mr. Taisho's assistance, pulled out a pink set of junior golf clubs, the initials RHT prominently emblazoned on the side of the bag. Kagome's face twitched as Ken helped Rin take a club out and showed her how to position her hands.

Sango said, "Kagome, I know what you're thinking. Just stop. You should be happy they are bonding."

Kagome nodded, brows furrowed. She was pleased that Rin and her grandparents took to each other so well and the girl had a fuller experience of family. But she also knew that Inuyasha hated the elitist country club lifestyle in which he had grown up and had consciously rejected it. What would he think of pink golf clubs?

Sesshoumaru looked at a profoundly confused Kagome. "What is it?" he asked.

"Kagome is afraid Rin will end up a spoiled country club snob," Sango said.

"My sister sang her protest songs as lullabies. Inuyasha taught her how to bang her head when she was three," Kagome said. "Last year he taught her the first verse of _Braineaters_ by the Misfits." She laughed lightly at the memory of Rin's childish voice singing _OI! OI! OI! Brains for dinner, Brains for lunch_. "I'm worried she will turn into someone her parents wouldn't recognize."

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru said gently, "I think you are underestimating the role you have in Rin's life and the strength of your personality."

His words gave her a great deal of comfort. She needed only a reminder of what she already knew—that Rin would be a product of her upbringing, and she was, and would always be, an integral part. "Thanks," she said. "Both of you."

"And now the last present," Mrs. Taisho announced. "From your uncle."

Rin craned her neck and beamed at Sesshoumaru, then turned her attention to a large, oddly shaped box. She looked at her grandfather. "What is it?"

"I don't know. He hasn't said a word."

She tore into the wrapping paper with vigor, gasped a smile, then reverently lifted a small guitar from the box.

Kagome's breath caught in her throat. She had been to the storage shed a few days before to find the cake decorating tips and saw her sister's favorite acoustic guitar lying on a pile of boxes. The battered old case was decorated with a spray of blue bellflowers that Kagome had painted on a bored rainy day when they were freshmen in the dorms. It called to her, and she grabbed it on her way out, promising that she would start playing regularly again and wondering when Rin would be old enough to learn.

Rin smiled wide and set it back down. She ran to Sesshoumaru and threw herself into his arms, sure with the belief that he would catch her. "I love it!"

"You'll have to ask your aunt to teach you."

"Will you, Kagome?"

Kagome kept her emotions in check. "Of course, sweetheart."

Rin kissed her thanks to the three adults, then returned to her friends. It was time for cake.

Kagome rose and inspected the abandoned gift. She stroked the shiny wood and fingered the nylon strings of the quarter-sized guitar, noting the quality of the craftsmanship. Rin's tiny hand may not quite fit around the neck, but she could teach the girl a few easy chords and strumming patterns. Kagome quickly tuned it and played a few test chords, hands slightly awkward at the much smaller size. The sound wasn't bad. It was a good instrument; one Rin could grow into.

"I hope I didn't presume too much," Sesshoumaru said. He had followed her, eager to hear her opinion. "I should have asked if you were willing to provide lessons."

"A task I wouldn't entrust to anyone else," Kagome said softly. "Are you a mind reader? This gift is perfect." The ambiguity of whether it was perfect for her or for Rin hung in the air.

"Merely perceptive." Sesshoumaru, though he had said nothing, shared Kagome's concern that Rin would change. There was a part of her personality that was directly inherited from Inuyasha, a part that at first discovery had him remembering an intense desire to throttle his brother, but later gave him an odd feeling of acceptance. He would do his best to defend it. Ken Taisho, Sesshoumaru knew, couldn't wait to get his granddaughter onto a golf course to establish the fundamentals before winter and snow arrived. His mother had recently started Rin on piano. He wanted to be certain all aspects of Rin's varied background were represented and, lacking any knowledge of zombies, decided a guitar was a reasonable starting point.

"Where did you find it?" she asked. "The construction is excellent. Usually a kid's instrument is treated like a toy and pretty cheap."

"I had it custom made. Some things are worth the extra cost."

She nodded. "Like a little girl's happiness on her fifth birthday?"

"Exactly."

Kagome laid the guitar back in the box. "Shall we join the others? I think it's time to sing _Happy Birthday_."

Song sung, candles blown out, and cake consumed, Rin and her birthday guests played with her new Webkinz until the parents came to retrieve their offspring. They said goodbye to Sango and let out the dog, who chased the new scents around the lawn, intrigued, until he settled on Rin; she, having groomed _and_ ridden, smelled the most strongly of pony. His big black nose nudged and explored, knocking her to the ground and tickling her. Rin giggled and shrieked until the adults had had their laugh and Kagome called Off.

Rin got up, panting for breath, then her face fell. "We forgot about the leaves." She looked at Mr. Taisho. "Can I still jump in?"

"Go ahead." He avoided the glances of his wife and son—this level of indulgence was without precedence. It was common knowledge that Ken Taisho preferred an immaculate yard.

Rin had played in the yard with the dog that morning as the lawn company raked and blew leaves, watching as the pile grew larger and larger, matching her rising anticipation of future unbridled fun. The idea of jumping into it by herself however seemed lonely. "Kagome, will you go with me?"

"Wanna race?"

Rin's eyes narrowed. "You have to give me a head start. Count to ten." She started running across the yard.

Kagome grinned wickedly. "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten!" she blurted. She set off in hot pursuit, slowing her pace as she overtook Rin, who protested the unfairness. Suddenly Sesshoumaru ran up and gathered Rin in his arms, easily passing Kagome. They reached the pile first, and he carefully tossed his niece into the huge mass of red and gold.

"Cheaters!" Kagome followed Rin a moment later, sailing into the heap. They laughed and threw leaves at each other, then set their sights on Sesshoumaru standing just out of arm's reach. He stepped back to dodge autumn's detritus, clearly amused at the antics of the two black-haired females buried in the pile of leaves.

Leaves scattered and pile destroyed, Sesshoumaru lifted Rin out and sent her scampering to her grandparents and her presents. He gave Kagome a hand and pulled her up. "You are ridiculous," he said, picking leaves from her hair.

"I nurture my inner dork regularly." Her knowing smile suggested he was guilty of the same. "Though you claim not to have one, I know better. It may be languishing, but swooping down and throwing Rin into the leaves is proof of existence."

"Nonsense." He took care not to protest too much.

They walked back toward the mansion and the guest house as the bright sun began its descent behind the trees at the edge of the yard, lengthening shadows as the air cooled. "Soooo…your parents are taking Rin to the pool and out for pizza," Kagome said self-consciously. Sesshoumaru hadn't mentioned their date since the Halloween party, and she suddenly felt awkward next to him.

He recognized an unasked question. "Our dinner reservation is at seven. It will be pleasant tonight, and I thought we could go downtown early and walk around. There's an old storefront I acquired this week that you may find interesting. It has some architectural features unlike anything else in the city."

"Sounds great," she said, forcing her voice to stay casual. "I'll need at least an hour. I obviously need a shower," she said brushing off her sweater and creating a dust cloud. "And I have no idea what to wear." She made a note to choose somewhat sensible shoes.

Sesshoumaru looked at his watch. Four o' clock. "I'll come for you at five thirty."

Kagome helped carry in the gaggle of Webkinz and changed her mind about the regifting. Rin had already given her new toys names and was introducing Ella and Leo to her latest acquisitions. They said goodbye with hugs and kisses and a promise of breakfast together the next morning.

On her way back to the guest house, Kagome was stopped by the Taishos. After chatting for a few minutes about the success of the party, Rose said, "Kagome, Ken and I were talking about the Christmas holidays. We thought that instead of showering the child with gifts, we could take her with us to vacation at our condo in Florida for several days." She saw Kagome's immediate hurt reaction. "We, of course, wouldn't leave until the twenty-seventh," she added quickly. "We wouldn't dream of separating you two on Christmas Day."

"I assure you she will be perfectly safe with us," Mr. Taisho said, "but we wanted to ask your permission first."

Kagome nodded, thoughtful. She knew Rin was fascinated with beaches—the ocean's salty water and sand as far as the eye could see—and the idea of flying in an airplane. This would also take care of the dreaded conversation about putting the brakes on gift-giving. "Rin would love that. I'll make sure she still has summer clothes that fit her." She sighed, missing her niece already. "And thank you for asking me." She hugged them both, noting the near absence of awkwardness.

She walked back to the guest house and, followed by Oberon, entered. It was time to get ready for her first real date in nearly two years. _I can do this_. She wandered into her room, looked inside her closet, and, deciding that she needed a few minutes before facing the question of how sexy she wanted to dress, wandered back out.

There was a stack of accumulated mail that she had picked up from her post office box lying on the dining room table—a perfect distraction and way to delay the inevitable. The majority of Kagome's correspondence and bill paying was done online, and so typically her mail consisted of junk, but occasionally there was a magazine, a real letter, or a check from a gallery. She shuffled through the stack. Ads, political mailings, pre-approved credit card applications. Among the garbage that was destined for the recycling bin was a letter that didn't look like junk. The return address had the state crest and the words Department of Rehabilitation and Corrections, Parole Board, Victim Notification Section. Her heart skipped a beat. She opened it slowly to steady herself, to stay in control. It was a form letter, giving notice of an upcoming parole hearing. The receiver was advised to dial the provided toll-free number or go to the website listed below, in order to stay up-to-date on prisoner status, Victim ID and PIN required to access the system.

Kagome stumbled to her laptop on the kitchen counter. The minute that it took to power up seemed to stretch on for a torturous hour. For the first two years after the trial, she checked the website of the state Attorney General every day. Seeing the word _incarcerated_ was a security blanket during a time in her life when she needed a constant reminder that she wasn't in immediate physical danger. Eventually she felt stronger and safe enough that the crutch wasn't necessary. It had been almost a year since she had last looked at the site. With shaking fingers she logged in, ID and PIN still committed to memory.

_Mason Harrison, Parole Granted, Release Date: October 29, 2007_

She sank to the floor and put her head between her knees in an effort to not get sick. The date was almost week ago. He was already out.

&&&

I do not own Inuyasha, Mylar, Flower Fairies, the Ramones, Tootsie Roll, Pixie Stix, BlackBerry, Tater Tots, I Spy, Webkinz, Barbie, Bratz, lines from _The Unbearable Lightness of Being_, or Misfits lyrics. Thank you for reading and special thanks to Wiccan for her value as equine consultant.


	27. Picking Up the Pieces

Sesshoumaru strode to the guest house at twenty minutes after five. Finally, after waiting for what seemed like half a year, the timing was right—no looming trips out of the country, no art openings to prepare for, no excuses.

The half an hour he had spent cuddling with Rin, helping her register two of her new Webkinz online, gave him something on which to focus other than his upcoming date with Kagome, an event he had been thinking about all week. The distraction ended when Rin, who had been looking at him with increasing suspicion, asked what he was doing that night. He replied that he would tell her, but only if she could keep a secret. After Rin had nodded and solemnly crossed her heart, he told her he was taking Kagome out to dinner.

Sesshoumaru wasn't entirely certain the reason he didn't want his parents to know his plans. Perhaps it was his already-formed emotional attachment; perhaps it was the possibility that his parents would disapprove. His personal life had always been rather closely guarded, despite and because of his mother's probing little questions and unsubtle hints, though he never had cared too much about their opinions and had ever intentionally obfuscated. But there was something about this date that was different, something he wanted to keep private. Thankfully Rin seemed satisfied with the answer and didn't question him further.

After his parents had departed with Rin, he dressed for a night out, then looked for a suitably interesting distraction until it was time to retrieve Kagome. Finding none, he left, not caring that he was ten minutes early. He knocked and opened the door of the guest house, but instead of the expected wagging dog and loud music, he was met with silence.

"Kagome?" The only light came from the hallway. The faint illumination was enough—he saw her sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped tightly around her legs and face hidden, dog curled up by her feet. He rushed across the room and knelt next to her. She was trembling, breath shallow. "Kagome, what happened?" She raised her head, but didn't look at him. Even in the dim light, he could see she appeared numb and confused. Something was very wrong.

"He's out," she whispered. "The man who tried to kill me. He's out of jail."

"Kagome…" Sesshoumaru moved to put an arm around. She flinched at first, instinctively self-protective, then relaxed against him. He wished he knew the right words to say, but had little practice offering comfort and could only hold her until the shaking subsided.

"Is it really five thirty?" she asked, voice hoarse and weary.

"Nearly. Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I've been sitting here for an hour, trying not to fall apart. I don't know if I'm succeeding or failing spectacularly." She put her head back down. "Pathetic, isn't it? I knew this would come someday…I always assumed I'd have Inuyasha and Kikyou to lean on. I never imagined I'd be alone."

Gently he took her chin and turned her face to his. "You aren't alone."

"No, I'm not." She had many friends and counted him among them, but he hadn't seen her at rock bottom. "You don't have to stay."

"I'm not going to leave you like this, Kagome."

"Don't you understand?" she asked, forcing herself to look into his eyes. "This won't be pretty. I'm giving you a pass. Walk away, stay uninvolved, guilt-free."

He had to admit, it hurt that she was pushing him away. "Do you really want me to go?"

Kagome was pure vulnerability, her face about to break. "I don't want to be alone. I want you to stay." She shook her head and looked away. "I don't want you to see this side of me."

The pain in her voice stabbed deeply. "Don't be afraid of me," he said. "I want to help."

She managed a nod before the tears began to fall. Sesshoumaru pulled her close and simply held her while she cried into his shoulder. The feeling of impotence was as unfamiliar as it was hated. He had a brief fantasy of finding this man and doing permanent, grievous bodily injury.

"I just want to run away and hide…but I don't know where to go."

He briefly tightened his arms around her. "Stay here. Only your friends know where you live."

She shook her head. "He's an internet search or two from finding me. I can't put your family at risk by staying here. Oh god," she said, starting to panic, "what about Rin? I can't endanger Rin."

Sesshoumaru gently gripped her shoulders and leaned her back. He was unwilling, especially now, to entertain the thought of her moving away. "Kagome, you are safest here. Now no more talk of leaving. I'll protect you." Finally he could offer something useful.

"I don't want you to go through any trouble."

He put a finger to her lips. "Stop."

She heaved a ragged sigh. "I hate this. This fear."

"You're safe with me, Kagome. I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's more than that," she confessed. "It's more than just being afraid of him finding me again." She looked up into his face, taciturn and guarded as usual, but she also saw concern. She trusted him. "After the trial…he was locked up and couldn't hurt me, but _that's_ when I got bad. That's when I lost it. All the fear and isolation and that unshakeable sense of worthlessness…it was too much." She shuddered, remembering her slide into hell. "I am trying so desperately not to think about everything that happened six years ago, but that's what is haunting my mind. I feel like I'm reliving it. And I'm terrified of becoming that way again."

"The Kagome I know wouldn't hurt herself. You are a different person than you were then."

She shrugged. "Maybe?"

"Do you want to call Sango?"

"No," she said. "She and Miroku are out for the evening. I don't want to bother them."

He doubted Sango would consider it a bother, but didn't press the point. "Shall we get up off the floor? At least let's move to the sofa. The hardwood floors in this house are decidedly uncomfortable."

He helped her to stand, and she, appreciative of his effort to lighten her mood, attempted a smile, which quickly deflated. He was dressed in an impeccable tailored dark grey suit that complimented his coloring sublimely. She was still wearing her dust and leaf-covered clothes and knew her hair and face weren't any cleaner. "You look…nice." She winced at the lame description. "I'm sorry. I'm just not up for going out tonight. I ruined our dinner. I'm sorry."

"Kagome, you have nothing for which to apologize. We can stay in."

She looked at him, dumbfounded. "That free pass is still available. I'm just going to cry and freak out all night. Not very good company."

"You can't get rid of me that easily." Her laugh was barely audible, but a great gift nonetheless and went far in reassuring him that she wouldn't try to shut him out.

"Thanks." She sniffled and self-consciously brushed dirt off her sleeve. "I could use a shower. I don't even need to look in a mirror to know I'm filthy."

"Are you alright alone for a few minutes? I'd like to change out of this suit. I'll be back before you're finished."

She nodded. "Bathing has always helped calm me down. Hopefully I won't be a basket case again by the time you get back." She seemed frozen in place, awkward. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

Kagome chewed on her lower lip, embarrassed to even ask. "Will you walk through the house with me to make sure it's empty?" She was relieved that he merely nodded and didn't treat her like a foolish child in need of indulgence. They went into each room, opening closets, and checked the basement and attic.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked when they were back in the living room.

"I've got my fierce, fuzzy shadow," she said, scratching Oberon, who hadn't left her side, behind the ears. "Will you lock the door behind you on your way out? Shit. Do I sound paranoid?"

"No. You sound reasonable. I'll be back shortly."

"The keys are on the coffee table."

Sesshoumaru waited until he heard the sound of water running. Kagome's cell phone was sitting next to her keys. Despite having no idea what to say, he felt he had passed the first test, though knew there may be a rough night in store for them. He found Sango's number and hit DIAL.

"Hey babe, you just caught me. Need a last minute pep talk?"

"Sango, it's Sesshoumaru. Kagome just learned the man who assaulted her has been let out of prison."

"Oh, god. Oh, poor Kagome. How is she?"

"She's gotten over the first shock, but she's quite unnerved. And afraid her depression will return."

"Not surprising. I think the fact that she came damn close to killing herself has always lurked in the corner of her mind. Should I come over?"

"I'm handling it so far, but you may want to call later."

"I will. And tell her I'll come over tomorrow. Shit. First Kikyou and Inuyasha and now this. I understand she's scared, but she has come such a long way. She'll be fine; she just needs to realize that."

"What should I do for her in the meantime?"

"Keep her talking. Don't let her close up or withdraw. Her first reaction will be to feel like a burden, but don't let her push you away."

"She's already tried. I won't. Good night, Sango. Enjoy your evening out."

"If she has a panic attack, call me. I'll keep my cell with me."

_Keep her talking and don't let her withdraw_. The simplicity belied the importance.

XxXxX

Kagome, cleansed of leaf dirt and tear stains, turned off the water and stepped from the shower. Under normal circumstances, she relished the heavy heat and moisture of a steamy bathroom and the indolence it brought out in her singing voice. She would take her time, lazily applying lotion and soaking up the luxurious scent to prolong the feeling of pampering, before having to go out into the chill and real world beyond the bathroom door. This time was different. Her nakedness left her feeling exposed and she couldn't find her voice. She dressed as quickly as she could, in clothes deemed safe—well-worn jeans and one of Inuyasha's old sweatshirts. Clothes she could run in. Clothes that hid her. Clothes that gave comfort. She pulled out the blowdryer and paused, remembering horror movies where the soon-to-be victim was engaged in mundane pursuits, unaware of the danger that lurked. She berated herself for being so ridiculous, but nonetheless quickly put it away and tied her dripping hair in a ponytail.

The air outside the bathroom was colder than she thought it would be.

Sesshoumaru, now attired in more casual khakis and navy cashmere V-neck, was seated on the couch with the dog, both waiting for her.

"May I join you?" She approached with hesitation, teeth chattering.

"Kagome, you're shivering. Come here." Ignoring her gasp of surprise, he pulled her into his lap and grabbed the chenille throw on the back of the couch. "Better?" he asked, wrapping it around her.

Kagome blushed from the sudden, unexpected contact, but banished all thoughts of protesting the situation. His arms were warm and strong, his heartbeat against her chest steady. She wiggled her bare feet under Oberon. "Better."

"How are you? Talk to me."

Kagome was quiet a moment, still unsure about laying her soul bare. He knew the basics—the assault, ensuing depression, suicide attempt—and she had shown him the art she had made during recovery, an act of trust itself, but old insecurities still picked at her. "Wavering between fine and not so fine? One moment I think I am okay, then my heart speeds up and I get queasy. I hate this weakness. I hate you seeing me this way."

"You are't weak, Kagome. You never were."

"Sometimes I wonder. I've spent the past six years living in a protective bubble, one of my own making. I built it as a matter of survival, but it became a crutch, a place to hide and not face my fears."

He began to lightly stroke the damp hair at her brow, tucking strays behind her ear. "What do you mean?" _Keep her talking_.

"After I put the PTSD behind," she began, "I began to reclaim myself as a sexual person. It seemed as vital as reclaiming my art. I started out with purely physical attachments, nothing that would require taking any real emotional risks, nothing that would let another person into my heart or my spirit. I regained control of that part of my life, but I did it by avoiding anything resembling a normal romantic relationship. I purposely chose men I knew weren't interested in a commitment or men I knew, for whatever reason, I wouldn't be with after more than a few weeks. I was so careful not to get too close. But I guess I was too careful. When I _was_ ready for something more, fate played me for a fool. The first guy I went out with whom I could actually envision taking a chance on was totally wrong. He wasn't an asshole or anything, but I freaked out and retreated completely. For almost two years, I haven't let anyone get near me, on any level. And there you have a brief history of my dating avoidance. I was trying to be safe, but instead I turned into an emotional cripple."

"Stop exaggerating," he chided. Nothing struck him more than her ability to recognize her feelings and deal with them rather than pushing them aside. "You are one of the most emotionally secure people I've ever known."

She stiffened and snorted a cynical laugh. "That statement doesn't speak highly of your acquaintances."

"Kagome, look at how you bounced back from your sister and Inuyasha's deaths. In the midst of your grief, sudden new responsibilities were thrust on you; you had to juggle a move and work and supporting Rin, and you did it all beautifully. My family challenging your guardianship certainly didn't make it any easier." He paused, waiting to see if she would argue. "I'm an expert on the effectiveness of the bottling up one's emotions. My whole childhood was spent cultivating denial. You've faced a difficult situation, acknowledged your sadness, and became stronger because of it."

Kagome felt like he had opened her eyes and showed her a hidden side of herself, one she knew existed but had pushed aside. "You're right. I did okay." She relaxed again. "Thanks." Sesshoumaru's fingers were gently stroking the fine downy hair at the nape of her neck that escaped her hasty attempt at tying it back. She sighed in bliss. "Your brother used to do that. Too many times to count…hungover, sick, sad. Kikyou said he did it to her too."

"Do what?"

"Play with those little hairs. It was his modus operandi of giving comfort. And if he was in the right mood he would hum _Claire de Lune_."

Memories, long forgotten, returned with a jolt and left Sesshoumaru feeling blindsided. Throughout their childhoods, the Taisho boys had developed a sixth sense of when their mother needed to be left alone and when she could handle their company. On the good days, they would lie in bed with her while she stroked their white hair, paying close attention to the sensitive backs of their necks, as she told them stories. The brothers regarded these times as precious and ceased any fighting, neither willing to risk being sent away. Occasionally she would leave her sanctuary and venture into the music room and play, always ending with the same piece. "_Claire de Lune_ is my mother's favorite song."

Kagome heard something unexpected in his voice—the cutting, unmistakable sound of melancholy. She looked up; his face was impassive, but behind those amber eyes was intense emotion. "Sesshoumaru…I'm sorry you had such a sucky childhood."

"It had its bright spots."

"Will you tell me more sometime? Through talking to your mom and looking at photos, I've managed to fill in some blanks about Inuyasha. I don't know as much about you."

"Maybe someday."

Kagome didn't press. It had taken a long series of baby steps to get Inuyasha to open up. She recognized that, though he was pulling away, the door was left ajar.

"I'm having a hard time thinking of my brother humming anything, much less _Claire de Lune_."

She grinned. "It wasn't often. Usually he sang some silly, atonal, made-up song like _Kikyou, Don't Take Work So Seriously_ or _Kagome, When Will You Learn That Tequila Is Not Your Friend_." His deep laugh reverberated through her chest like a purr, making her laugh too. She didn't know what to think about their physical closeness and wasn't up to careful analysis, but at that time it didn't matter—it was helping. She looked up at him. "Thanks. For staying and talking to me. Sorry I got your sweater wet."

"You're welcome. Thanks for the memory. Think nothing of it."

They sat in silence, Kagome resting against him, content and confident in his presence that she could allow the sadness and fear to wash over her and still be safe. "Are you getting hungry?" she asked after several minutes. "I made you cancel dinner reservations; I suppose now I need to feed you."

Her tone was teasing, and he decided she could handle some of the same. "It's the least you can do…considering I obviously won't be getting a piece of ass tonight."

The comment shocked her, and she bolted upright. He had surprised her before, but something so wickedly funny, so entirely inappropriate had her wondering if she had been hit on the head or transported to an alternate dimension. Recovery was quick and she laughed, joyous and appreciative. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love your sense of humor. You're lucky I went to the grocery yesterday and stocked up on Top Ramen. You won't have to eat peanut butter on toast."

XxXxX

Dinner was several steps above the threatened instant ramen. Kagome made her favorite version of Pad Thai. Sesshoumaru learned the ins and outs of defrosting, peeling, and deveining shrimp. Kagome got to show off her impressive collection of imported and domestic hot sauces.

Sesshoumaru, already in love, fell even harder.

XxXxX

Dishes done, Kagome and Sesshoumaru made a pot of green tea and went back into the living room; Kagome, after a moment hesitation, took her previous spot on his lap, nestled against him. It felt right, like slipping on a beloved article of clothing.

While they were cleaning up the kitchen, Kagome had a small setback. Mr. and Mrs. Taisho returned with Rin, and Kagome feared the girl would see the lights on, come to say goodnight, and worry when she realized her aunt was upset. Sesshoumaru called his father and gave an abbreviated version of the news, followed by a request to keep Rin with them. Kagome was beset by guilt, afraid his parents would be angry that she was exposing them to possible harm, but they were only concerned for her welfare. Gratitude made her weepy, but fortunately she got over it without much effort.

Now, ensconced under the throw and sipping tea together, Sesshoumaru took satisfaction from her closeness; she continued to seek safety and comfort in his arms. "May I ask you something about Inuyasha?" Though not completely herself, Sesshoumaru thought she was doing okay, but he was unsure if talking about his brother would make her sad again.

"Of course."

"When we were kids, he used to shut himself in the bathroom."

Kagome smiled softly. "And stay in there for like an hour? Yeah, he still did it. Kikyou called it his Daily Ritual."

"My parents were convinced he had some kind of undiagnosed digestive disorder, but it turned out he just wanted to escape from our family for a little while."

"Yep. He said it was the only place in the apartment where he could have a few minutes without women harassing him." She sighed wistfully. "When I first started living with him and my sister, I thought he was looking at porn, but he mostly just wanted privacy to read comic books and not be pestered. I guess everyone needs his own little corner of the universe." She leaned over to set her tea cup on the coffee table, then snuggled up to him again. "You feel nice. I'm getting spoiled. Tell me something else."

He untied her hair and worked his fingers through the still-damp weight, spreading it across her shoulders. "Such as?"

"Tell me one of those bright spots."

He didn't have to think long. There was one memory that stuck out. One memory that he had replayed countless times his first year in boarding school when he missed his family most. A memory he could share with her. "On my mother's thirtieth birthday, Inuyasha and I called a truce and made her breakfast in bed. Breakfast consisted of what an eight and a five year old were capable of producing, meaning toast and cereal, and served in the manner we assumed everyone ate. It never occurred to us that an adult may not desire toast so covered in honey it was practically floating or Frosted Flakes with extra sugar."

Kagome laughed. "Oh shit. Did she eat it?"

"Every bit. Then she had a long cry, full of apologies and promises, got dressed, and took us to see _Return of the Jedi_. I had been waiting most of summer for my father to take me, but he was always too busy, and I lived in fear that I wouldn't get to see it before it left the theaters. It didn't matter that Inuyasha was really too young and got frightened during the fun parts. It didn't matter that _Jedi_ wasn't half as good as _The Empire Strikes Back_. I felt a little bit like a normal kid that day. When my father got home and heard what mother had done, he was amazed. She didn't leave the house very often during those years. He had some roses for her birthday and was planning to go back to work that night. Instead he blew off the shareholders meeting and took us to a steakhouse to celebrate." He could still remember the smell of the flowers and night breeze blowing through the open car windows on the drive home.

Kagome was staring at him, eyes wide and serious. "Good story."

"Sometimes it's nice to let someone else into that private corner of the universe."

"Yeah. It is." For the first time since opening the letter, Kagome felt her life wasn't spinning out of control. "Hey…it's been like five or ten minutes since I thought about how fucked up I am."

"I told you," he said. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit."

They finished the tea and stayed together, quietly talking about Rin, the glowing progress report they had received the day before from her preschool, and her grandfather's pride in her. After the third yawn in five minutes, Kagome glanced at the digital display on the DVD player.

"I can't believe how sleepy I am. It's not even ten yet."

"I saw lights on in here when I got up at six. What were you doing up so early?"

"Cake decorating. What were you doing up?"

"I usually get up at six. This morning I was hoping to work for a few hours before Kendo."

Kagome knew he frequently went to the office on weekends, but six on Saturday morning without absolute necessity seemed sacrilegious. "Your boss must really be a jerk."

A rebellious corner of his mouth curled upward. "I've managed to delegate quite a bit of authority, I'll have you know. We're just really busy right now. A lot of things are coming to a head at once."

She nodded, unconvinced. "It's a sickness. You need help."

"If you're tired, you should go to bed," he said, giving her a gentle, retributive poke in the ribs. "Catch up on some sleep."

Kagome didn't know what this new intimacy between them meant, but she didn't want it to end. _Too bad we can't stay here forever_. "I hope I'm able to sleep at all. I have a bad feeling that once I'm alone, every little noise will scare me out of my skin. I have a problem with overactive imagination when I'm stressed out." Her heart immediately started racing as soon as she thought about the words _paroled, released_. "Shit."

"Do you want me to stay?"

She sat up a little and looked at him to see if he was serious or making fun of her. "I…uh…stay?" she faltered.

"Just this night, in case you have trouble sleeping or you wake and need to talk. I'll sit with you until you fall asleep then move to the sofa. I don't mind," he said quickly when she started to protest. "Go get ready for bed. I'll let the dog out."

Part of Kagome wanted to argue—she couldn't rely on him and had to face her fears. A much louder part knew better than to refuse his offer. "There's an extra toothbrush under the sink." She gave him a quick hug and went into the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, Sesshoumaru went into Kagome's room. She was lying on half the bed and smiled up dreamily at him. The dog was already sprawled out across her legs, a black mass against the quilt. He sat on the vacant side and smoothed the hair out of her face.

"Soooo…are you some kind of masochist, hell bent on prolonging the worst date in history?"

"Hardly the worst date in history."

"Oh really," she scoffed despite being half-asleep. "Consoling a self-pitying idiot isn't fun in anyone's book."

"I thought tonight was much more than that."

Kagome nodded and closed her eyes. "You're right. It was." She reached up and took his hand, twining her fingers through his. "Stay here tonight. Don't go to the couch."

Sesshoumaru watched as her breathing slowed and sleep claimed her. He admired her inner strength and the ease and steadiness, despite burdens, with which she navigated life. She was a survivor. Her vulnerabilities softened her, but didn't weaken. He was grateful to have someone to protect, to be needed, but in truth, he needed _her_ just as much.

XxXxX

When Kagome woke, though the sun had only just began to brighten her bedroom, she felt more refreshed than she had in any morning in recent memory. Her sleep had been deep, dreamless, and uninterrupted. Sesshoumaru was next to her, barely touching under the heavy covers. He was serene in sleep, and she tore herself away, lest she give in to temptation and touch his ethereal face and, god forbid, wake him.

Kagome slid silently out of bed and slipped on her robe, motioning for Oberon to follow.

Dog let out, she stretched her arms up, embracing the world around her.

She had made it through the first night. She felt confident and grounded and oddly powerful. She felt, truly, for the first time, that though there may be trials ahead, she would be fine. Her depression was no longer a constant threat, and her suicide attempt was part of her history, not her future. Sesshoumaru had helped, but her strength was her own.

Kikyou's guitar was standing up in a corner, beckoning her. She took it out of its case and sat, feeling her sister's creative energy infused in the instrument. It wasn't an expensive guitar, but well-made for the cost. The presence of her sister was beyond price. After tuning it, she strummed a few chords of the songs she and Drew had been working on, but quickly turned to the folksongs she and Kikyou used to play together. The musical version of comfort food. It started with Dar Williams, her sister's favorite, and continued with Lucy Kaplansky and Rosanne Cash, going further back in time to Joni Mitchell and Joan Baez.

It was high time for Kikyou's ghost to assert herself. Kagome felt warm, like she had been kissed.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru woke to an empty bed and the far-off sound of music. Briefly confused, he rubbed sleep from his eyes and went into the living room.

Kagome was sitting on a chair, playing an acoustic guitar and singing. He listened, said nothing, merely absorbed the lilting sound and sublime language in the story of the song.

_An earthly nurse sits and sings,  
And aye, she sings by lily wean,  
Sayin "little ken I my bairn's father,  
Far less the land where he dwells in." _

_For he came on night to her bed feet,  
And a grumbly guest, I'm sure was he,  
Saying "Here am I, thy bairn's father,  
Although I be not comely." _

_"I am a man upon the land,  
I am a silkie on the sea,  
And when I'm far and far frae land,  
My home it is in Sule Skerrie." _

_And he had ta'en a purse of gold  
And he had placed it upon her knee,  
Saying, "Give to me my little young son,  
And take thee up thy nurse's fee." _

_"And it shall come to pass on a summer's day,  
When the sun shines bright on every stane,  
I'll come and fetch my little young son,  
And teach him how to swim the faem." _

_"And ye shall marry a gunner good,  
And a right fine gunner I'm sure he'll be,  
And the very first shot that e'er he shoots  
Will kill both my young son and me."_

Kagome finished and stopped to pet Oberon, then noticed Sesshoumaru standing near the kitchen. She put the guitar back in the case and went to him. "Good morning, sleepy head," she said playfully.

"You sing beautifully, Kagome."

"My sister had a morbid fascination with angsty folksongs. That was one of her favorites, about a shape-shifter. Something about unrequited love, and better yet, tragic love triangles had her heart doing flip flops. We used to play a lot together."

"How are you?" he asked.

"Good. Great." She looped her arm through his. "How about we go next door and wake everybody up. I wanna make a triple batch of pancakes. And a _huge_ pot of coffee."

Sesshoumaru smiled to himself. She was back. Kagome at her best.

"I'd love to."

They left the guest house together; Sesshoumaru made sure Oberon followed.

&&&

_I do not own Inuyasha, Webkinz, Top Ramen,__ Frosted Flakes, Return of the Jedi, The Empire Strikes Back, or any music by Debussy. Thank you for reading! The next chapter takes place on (American) Thanksgiving, so I hope to have it out in the next few days…given my track record, a laughable goal, but I will try! _


	28. Giving Thanks and an Obvious Culmination

Rose Taisho held up two fabric samples, unable to choose between saffron satin and crimson velvet. "I'm just not sure. Yellow is cheerier, but this red is so lush and vibrant. Either will influence the overall effect." She laid them next to the already chosen colors for the background—a variety deep, dark purples and blues. "What do you think, dear? I'm leaning toward the yellow."

Mrs. Taisho, the Chair of the Endowment and Gifts Committee of the city's Children's Hospital, had decided to commission a piece of art for the main waiting room honoring the memory of her late son and daughter-in-law. She could think of no one to whom better to grant the commission than Kagome. After clearing the necessary hurdles regarding project approval, she was now surrounded by fabric swatches, making the last choices for the beautiful wall hanging that Kagome had designed. It was a scene of a child-like figure astride a whimsical Pegasus flying through a starry night sky, and the only question remaining was the color of the contrasting accents.

Kagome nodded. "The yellow is happier. I'd say, since it's going to be seen primarily by sick kids and their worried parents, yellow is the way to go." Typically she hated when clients tried to micromanage details, but the older woman had a shrewd eye for color, and Kagome enjoyed the time spent with her pouring. While having coffee together earlier that week, Kagome confided to Mrs. Taisho about the paralyzing depression she fought after her attack, giving the two women a link that went beyond their love for Inuyasha and Rin.

"Good. It's settled. And I believe we agreed on three thousand dollars."

Kagome blushed and shook her head. "Mrs. Taisho, I can't accept that—"

Mrs. Taisho silenced her protest with a dismissive wave of her hand. "With the success of your show, you are making quite a name for yourself, and you need to stop undervaluing your work." She glanced at her watch. "I must be off. Library board meeting."

"Thank you for having tea with me," Kagome said as they walked to the door.

"Oh, Kagome, there's a favor I need to ask. Every year we go to the Hideoshi's for Thanksgiving. I received the invitation in the mail this morning, and Rin's name is on it. I understand you must have your own traditions, but it would mean so much to Ken and me if you would allow us to bring Rin." Mrs. Taisho hated asking. She didn't want to split Rin and her aunt up and prayed Kagome had someone with whom to spend the holiday. The invitation specifically named Ken, Rose, Sesshoumaru, and Rin Taisho, and it would be the height of rudeness to bring an uninvited guest. She, of course, didn't expect her friends to realize how much a part of the family Kagome had become.

"Oh. Oh…that's fine." Kagome hoped she recovered well enough to hide her disappointment. She had been planning on asking the three Taishos to the guest house for Thanksgiving dinner. "Rin will enjoy that. I'm having Sango and Miroku over, so I won't be lonely. But will you come over here later, for dessert?"

Mrs. Taisho squeezed Kagome's hand in thanks. Kagome had never been anything but gracious and accommodating in allowing access to Rin, and she felt a prick of guilt for ever trying to get custody of the girl. "That sounds lovely, darling."

"What time should I have her ready?"

"Cocktails are at three, so we will come for her at two thirty." She kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Kagome. This means so much."

Kagome closed the door and tried to think of something other than her heavy heart. Thanksgiving was a week and a half away. She had already planned on making Rin a pretty, frou-frou holiday dress for Christmas festivities, but now perhaps she would make it early. One couldn't attend a high-society function without appropriate attire.

XxXxX

Kagome was basting the turkey when she heard a knock at the door. Expecting the Taishos, she called, "Rin Baby, let your grandparents in!"

A moment later she heard Rin squeal, "Sango! Miroku! Look at my new dress! Do I look like a Sugar Plum fairy?"

Kagome laughed out loud. She had gotten tickets to _Nutcracker_ for her, Rin, and Sango, and after showing Rin some YouTube clips of the ballet, the child became moderately obsessed with the story and costumes. The holiday frock she made had a riotous skirt made of pink and purple tulle with a matching sleeveless velvet bodice. Rin, with the dress and her unruly black hair tied back with silk roses, looked sweet enough to induce a diabetic coma.

Kagome quickly shut the oven door and went to greet her guests. "I wasn't expecting you this early, but I am so glad you're here. Happy Thanksgiving!" She entered the living room to see Rin twirling about to show off her new dress, as the wagging dog stood out of her way. Sango and Miroku watched and held each other, teary-eyed. "Are you two okay?" Kagome asked.

"We're fine," Miroku said, hugging her. "Rin is…adorable."

"Yes, she is." Kagome looked suspiciously at Sango, who was close to crying. "What?"

"Nothing. Happy Thanksgiving, Kagome."

The two women embraced tightly. "You too. I'm trying out a couple new recipes, so I hope you don't mind being my guinea pigs."

"It smells incredible," Miroku said. "_Starving_. I haven't eaten yet today, and suddenly the deprivation all seems worth it. I'm going to put this," he held up a bottle of white wine, "in the cooler."

"You stay away from that turkey," Kagome yelled as he went into the kitchen. "It's got an hour to cook…you'll get worms!"

A moment later there was another knock, and Mr. and Mrs. Taisho entered and exchanged Thanksgiving greetings with Kagome and Sango. Rin launched herself at them, capably caught by Mr. Taisho.

"Are you ready, young lady?"

Rin nodded enthusiastically, then looked behind him. Someone was missing. "Where's my Uncle?"

"He's meeting us at the Hideoshi's. He had some work to do today."

Rin scrunched up her face. "He works too much."

"You'll hear no argument from me, my dear," Mrs. Taisho said with a kiss to Rin's cheek and a barbed glance at her husband. "Are we still welcome back for dessert?" she asked Kagome.

"Yes, of course," Kagome answered. "I made a Praline Pumpkin Cheesecake last night." She looked at Mr. Taisho, who she knew was on a low-fat diet because of his past heart attack. "A sliver won't hurt," she said, winking slyly. The wink was returned with conspiratorial agreement. "We are eating, if my meticulous planning pays out, at four thirty, so I was thinking coffee and dessert around six thirty or sevenish? Does that work out?"

"Perfectly," Rose replied. "We will see you then."

Rin reached for Kagome and gave her a long hug, whispering, "I love you, Kagome. We'll be back soon, and I'll make sure Uncle Sesshoumaru comes too. I promise."

Kagome got a lump in her throat watching them leave. "I need to start peeling potatoes."

Sango followed Kagome into the kitchen, where they found Miroku peeking into saucepans on the stove. Kagome scolded and swatted his hands away, then dug a sack of Yukon Golds from the lower recesses of the pantry.

"What can I do to help?" Sango asked.

"Do you have any objections to chopping walnuts?"

Miroku recognized his wife's Give Us a Few Minutes Alone look. Kagome had never been shy about discussing intimate matters in front of him, but Sango wanted to speak to her privately and see how she was handling Thanksgiving without Kikyou and Inuyasha before they shared their news. "I'm going to watch football," he said, kissing the two women.

"How are you, Kagome?" Sango asked. "I know the holidays can be a difficult time for those separated from loved ones."

"I'm fine," Kagome said with a confidence she didn't feel. "Kikyou and I tended to rely on each other when we were missing our parents...makes it even weirder not to have her and Inuyasha here. I'm sad, but determined to have fun today." She measured out some nuts and gave Sango a knife and cutting board. "I told Rin some stories about Thanksgivings past this morning. Funny stories that made us both laugh and cry, but it felt good. Cathartic."

"Feel like telling them again?"

Kagome smiled. "Just all the little things. Keeping Inuyasha from getting into the turkey before it was done. My first attempt at mashed potatoes and the results that resembled wallpaper paste…and didn't taste much better. Two years ago the discovery that the bird was still frozen inside and the hectic, last minute defrosting. The pie forgotten in the oven that burned to a crisp and Inuyasha's trying to cover up the acrid taste with whipped cream. The first year Kikyou was nursing Rin and decided she would eat meat and ordered a turkey from a local farm. It came fresh _with the feathers still attached_." Kagome laughed at the memory of her sister's horrified face. Rin had been most charmed by this particular anecdote. "By the time she was done plucking she said she'd never, ever eat meat again. I thought about having a Tofurkey on the table for old time's sake, but it seems like a waste—not even the dog will eat it." She looked at Sango gratefully. "I'm so blessed to have you guys with me. Thanks for coming over."

"We wouldn't have missed it," Sango said. "My parents are on a cruise, Kohaku is with his girlfriend, and we're grateful that you asked us over. How else are things?"

"Okay." She paused. "Sad about the Taishos and Rin," she admitted. "We've been doing some stuff together the last couple weeks. I know they aren't my family, but I guess I kinda started to think of them that way. Having them go elsewhere with Rin…just gives me the unwanted feeling of being an outsider." She sighed. "It's good to talk about this. I guess it's been at the back of my mind more than I realized."

Sango put her arm around Kagome's shoulders. "I'm sure if they didn't have this annual engagement, they would have been happy to be here."

"I know. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. And it leaves me torn between wanting to keep spending time with them, getting closer, and pulling away so I don't put my feelings any more on the line."

"Kagome, every time we make new friends, we are taking chances. You are an affectionate, loving person; it isn't in your nature to be reserved. Relax, sweetie."

Kagome nodded. "You're right. I just can't shake this feeling that I'm…flailing around without a clue. I don't want to lose the old traditions I had with Kikyou and Inuyasha, but I also didn't want to get stuck trying in vain to recreate something I'll never have again. Hence the new recipes added to the tried and true. I hope I'm doing the right things."

Sango kissed Kagome's cheek. "My two cents? You are adjusting to this wonderfully. It's difficult and may get worse, but you're doing everything right. I'd be worried if you were holed up, afraid to face the world, but here you are, entertaining, letting Rin go for the day. And you aren't ignoring your sadness; you're looking at it, feeling it, and moving forward. You are strong, Kagome."

Kagome quickly swiped at her eyes. "Shit. I refuse to do this self-pity thing." She straightened and smiled, resolute. "No whining."

"Talking to a friend isn't whining," Sango reminded her gently.

Kagome smiled with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Is it whining to boo-hoo about how much weight I must have gained in the past two days making cheesecake and side dishes?"

Sango looked at Kagome's willowy figure and thought about weight gain. She snapped her friend's butt with a tea towel. "Don't be an idiot."

They continued to chop and peel, washing dishes and wiping the counter as they went along. The mother lode of gossip was mined, namely the skyrocketing price tag of Kouga and Ayame's upcoming nuptials. Eventually the prep work was finished, so they made a pot of tea and joined Miroku. They chatted and laughed, further debating the value of a to-die-for wedding versus a down payment on a house and wondering what had happened to Kouga's normally firm grasp on frugality. Kagome began to ease into acceptance of her new normal—hanging out with her friends was familiar territory, though she had no idea why they seemed so interested in Rin's baby book.

There was something else that Sango wanted to ask Kagome about, but felt it best to not push too much and hoped Kagome would spill it on her own. Eventually her curiosity overcame her patience. "Has Sesshoumaru asked you out again?"

She shook her head nonchalantly. "I don't think he's interested in me that way anymore."

"Why do you think that?" Miroku asked. "It's not like he's a monk anything."

"It's been almost three weeks since our aborted date, and he hasn't said a word. I guess that night scared him off. Can't blame him. I wouldn't want to deal with someone so high maintenance."

"You're not high maintenance," Miroku scoffed. "Kagome, you're so easy to deal with, you're practically a guy." He shrank from the dirty looks the implied sexism of his inadvertent comment brought out.

Sango rolled her eyes, not sure with whom she was more irritated. "I refuse to believe that he's no longer interested," she said, exasperated at what she thought was Kagome's deliberate obtuseness. "He's probably just being respectful, giving you space considering what you've been through."

"I agree," Miroku said. "He seems like an honorable man. Maybe he's waiting for you to give him a signal that you aren't so emotionally vulnerable."

"Maybe." Kagome frowned at hearing herself called emotionally vulnerable. She couldn't abide the thought of Sesshoumaru pitying her. "It's just as well. We are becoming close friends and that's more important to me than scoring a date with the city's most eligible bachelor."

"You could always ask him out," Sango said.

Kagome gave her a patronizing Duh look. "I know that. But the amount of courage I'd have to summon to be the one to ask him…if he turned me down, after all the feelings and insecurities this Thanksgiving has dredged up, I don't think I'd handle it well. I'm good with the status quo. I know I need to take chances. I do." She raised her hand to silence the inevitable lecture. "But right now, I'm playing safe."

Sango smiled softly. "I don't blame you a bit. My only request is that if he surprises you and asks you out again, don't shut him out." She was confident Sesshoumaru had not yet given up on Kagome.

"I promise…if he asks me out again, I will be most receptive," Kagome said.

Miroku and Sango traded discreet looks, silently communicating, but before either had a chance to say anything, Kagome excused herself to check on the food.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru finished his cocktail and politely turned down the tuxedoed server who offered him a selection from an appetizer tray. He knew it meant a lot to his mother, considering the amount he and his father worked, for them to be together every Thanksgiving, but the Hideoshi mansion was literally the last place he wanted to be. He had only seen Kagome in passing the last few days, and the fact that he was stuck socializing with people he had little in common with beyond income ate at him. He began to wonder at what point he could leave without an early exit seeming a snub.

"There you are." Kagura appeared at his side, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I could be justified in thinking you are avoiding me, but I know that's not true. Happy Thanksgiving, darling."

He hadn't been avoiding her more than any of the other people at the party, but he suddenly wished he had. "Happy Thanksgiving, Kagura," he said, disengaging her vise-like grip. "I know as hostess, you need to see to your guests. I'll not keep you."

Kagura instantly claimed his arm. "Oh, I can spare a minute _for you_. You are special, after all," she purred, "and we have something to discuss. Your father wants me to go over some contracts with you. I wouldn't dream of business interfering with pleasure today. How does lunch next Monday sound?"

He sighed with relief. "I'm swamped next week. Literally every day is booked solid."

Kagura couldn't believe the good news. "Then I suppose that means dinner. Tuesday night? This really can't wait. Otherwise it will slow down construction on not only your father's latest venture, but it could impact negatively on the opening of the new hotel."

Hands tied and trapped, Sesshoumaru nodded in frustration.

"I think…Portabella will give us plenty of privacy. I'll speak with the owner about getting one of the alcoves reserved for Tuesday."

He groaned. "The place hardly has sufficient lighting for reviewing paperwork. Perhaps my office—"

"Nonsense, silly. I'll have it all scanned onto my laptop." The thought of the two of them huddled over a computer in a darkened corner made her giddy with girlish delight. It may be a work-related dinner, but she intended for that foot in the door to ultimately lead to her into his bed. "I don't see you have any room to argue."

"Fine. I'm going to check on my niece. I'll have my secretary call you."

As he walked toward the basement where the children were, he overheard someone say, "My goodness, what a beautiful couple. Could we be toasting newlyweds at this time next year?" He hoped his mother was nowhere within earshot. She didn't need encouragement of her fantasy that he and Kagura were more than casual family acquaintances. It almost made him want to tell his parents that he intended to pursue Kagome. Almost. He was still possessive and private about his feelings, and he didn't want to risk anything getting in the way. He had already waited out too many obstacles.

He went down to the playroom and was surprised to find Rin sitting alone on the steps. He sat next to her. "Rin, you're all alone."

"It doesn't smell like Thanksgiving here."

"I think the caterers have started to bring in the food." He had never thought of the child's usual experience of Thanksgiving; certainly this fete bore scant resemblance. "Why aren't you playing with the other children?"

Rin shrugged. The other children were toddlers attended by their nannies and older children with no interest in anything beside the Sponge Bob marathon on television. There were no four, five, or six year olds to play with. She was good at entertaining herself, but seeing the kiddie table, set up far from where her grandparents and uncle would be dining, made her stomach hurt. "I miss Kagome."

"So do I." Sesshoumaru thought for a moment and settled on a solution. He was not above manipulating a situation for the greater good. "Rin, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale. Because if you are ill, I can take you home. Right now."

Rin looked up at him confused, before comprehension bloomed like a naughty flower on her not-quite innocent face. "Uncle Sesshoumaru, I don't feel well." She crawled into his lap and whispered in his ear, "Kagome said she wants to eat at four thirty."

He glanced at his watch. Five until four. "Well, by all means, let's say goodbye to our hosts." He picked her up and carried her to the main reception room and tried not to laugh at her attempts to appear near death. "Just lay your head on my shoulder and let me do the talking."

"What about grandmother and grandfather?"

"They'll understand. No one wants to be sick over Thanksgiving. And they will see us for dessert."

Rin looped her arms around her uncle's neck and stopped worrying. She stopped worrying about the smells she had been enjoying at home and not liking the food here. She stopped worrying about Kagome's sadness and missing her parents. And she stopped worrying about spending Thanksgiving with strangers at the kiddie table.

XxXxX

Sango watched as Kagome spooned stuffing from the turkey. It looked like bacteria-laden deliciousness. "Is it safe to eat?" She had seen Kagome check the temperature and despite evidence that it had reached sufficient temperature, she still had her doubts.

Kagome glanced up from what she was doing with an expression of irritated disbelief. "Have you always been a stuffing alarmist?" The table was set, the gravy was thickening, the sides were dished up and covered in foil, waiting for the bird to be carved. Everything had come together without a hitch, but Sango's question threw her rhythm off.

"I simply don't wish to end up in the hospital with salmonella."

Kagome bit back her comment of 'show me all the dead in-the-bird stuffing enthusiasts' and instead put some in a bowl and stuck it in the microwave for two minutes. "Does Miroku want his nuked too, or are you uniquely fussy?" she teased.

Sango smiled. She couldn't wait to tell Kagome the reason she was being so careful. "He's fine with taking his chances."

Oberon, to whom the height of the counter wasn't an obstacle, nosed around in the hope that Kagome had spilled something. She resisted her impulse to give him a sample, knowing how easily bad habits became established. She typically had no tolerance for the dog encroaching on her kitchen space, but he was one of the constants that she took comfort in and wasn't going to banish him. Suddenly his big black head disappeared, and she heard the sound of the front door closing. "What the?"

"Look who decided to join us," Miroku's voice rang out from the other room.

Kagome hurried from the kitchen and saw Sesshoumaru, Rin in his arms, shaking hands with Miroku. It was a most unexpected sight.

Sesshoumaru set his niece down. "Rin wasn't feeling well."

Kagome hurried over and put her hand to Rin's forehead. "You aren't hot, sweetie. Is it your tummy?"

"I feel better now." Rin kissed Kagome's cheek and petted the dog, happy to be home. The house smelled exactly like a house should smell, and Kagome seemed happier than she had all day. She grabbed Miroku's hand and dragged him off to find Sango.

Kagome stared at Sesshoumaru, amused accusation clear on her face. "You aren't teaching the child to lie, are you?"

"Of course not," he said, not guilty in the least. "Merely recognizing Rin's need to be where she belongs."

"And where do you belong, Sesshoumaru?" Kagome hadn't intended to say it aloud, but once out, she didn't regret it.

If he was surprised at all by her question, he betrayed nothing. "I hoped to be welcome here."

"You are. Very welcome." She hesitated only a moment before stepping close to hug him. "Happy Thanksgiving, Sesshoumaru."

In contrast to Kagura, Kagome against him felt right. He enclosed her in his arms and pulled her close, soaking up every subtle curve that fit along his body and the scent of her soft black hair. "Happy Thanksgiving, Kagome."

The embrace went beyond a friendly hug. It was long and intimate, and the slowness with which he let her go spoke of future promises. Kagome felt her face flush; perhaps there still was some interested on his part. Now self-conscious, she stepped away. "We're almost ready to eat. Oh shit, I was in the middle of finishing."

Between the four adults and Rin, two extra places were added to the table; the turkey was carved; wine was poured; food-filled dishes were brought to the table.

"Okay," Kagome said, once everyone was sitting. "I have spent the past week thinking about how Kikyou and Inuyasha and I had done things in the past and what traditions I wanted to continue. We were a vegan and an unapologetic carnivore…who also happened to be a crunchy tree-hugger and an atheist…and me. I, floating between, was the one who managed to achieve balance; a feat that, at times, wasn't easy." She took the hands of Rin and Sango, seated on either side of her, and nodded to encourage everyone to do the same. "On this Thanksgiving 2007, I am most thankful for my memories, both good and bad, and that I, surrounded by my best friends and family, am actively making new, good memories to add to them." She looked at Rin. "Okay Rin, tell us what you are most thankful for."

Rin vaguely remembered this pre-eating ritual of Thanksgiving from the year before. She didn't see the point. To her it was obvious. "I'm most thankful that it's gonna be Christmas soon."

The others laughed, but not too hard. Holiday attacks of sentimentality should be primarily reserved for adults, and they were glad Rin, with the loss she experienced that year, seemed immune. They envied her ability to dismiss the past as past and her focus on the thing that is next. Proof of adulthood was the burden of clinging regret, something no child should bear.

Sesshoumaru knew it was his turn and spoke up, rejecting the bland and inclusive to focus on Rin. "I am most thankful for the opportunity to spend the first holidays of many with my niece."

A wide grin spread across Rin's face. She considered both Halloween and her birthday very important holidays, but didn't nitpick. "Me too!"

They looked to Miroku, next in the circle. "Rin took mine," he said, winking in the girl's direction. He looked at Sango a moment before continuing. "I'm most thankful that my forced period of starvation is about to be over."

"I didn't tell you not to eat before you came here," Kagome reminded him.

"But you haven't even let me have half a roll."

"I didn't want you to spoil your appetite," Kagome growled. "Besides, they say that hunger is the best sauce."

Sango cleared her throat to stop the bickering. Finally, after nearly two hours of holding her tongue, she had the floor. "I'm most thankful that…in nine months…" she wrestled with her emotions to get the next words out, "I'm going to be a Mommy."

Predictably, Kagome buried her face in her hands and burst into tears. "You whore! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, the time didn't seem right before, and I have so few opportunities to be dramatic…I wanted to save the news until now." Sango's tears, which she had carefully kept at bay, flowed freely.

Kagome got up and gave her a crushing hug. "Congratulations! How long have you known? I still can't believe you didn't tell me until now," she said between sniffles.

"My period is only three days late. I did a second pee-on-stick test this morning. We haven't told anyone else, including my parents, but I had to tell _someone_. I can keep a secret…but this had me feeling like I was going to explode."

"You'll be an awesome Momma."

"Will you be my doula?"

"I'd be honored. I'll dig out my childbirth books tonight."

Sango laughed. "No hurry. You've got until August."

Miroku and Sesshoumaru stood and did the manly handshaking and backslapping, followed by Kagome's far more affectionate method of offering congratulations.

"Miroku…I'm so happy for you." The tears were threatening to come back.

He let her cling to him a moment, before gently pulling back. "Thanks. Now don't go getting weepy on me. I'll end up starting again."

"I was wondering why you guys kept looking at Rin's baby pictures" she laughed as they retook their seats. "And now Sango's shunning potential food hazards and drinking milk instead of wine suddenly make so much sense."

Rin observed with confusion. She had no idea why Sango would pee on a stick, and in her experience, women who were going to have babies looked like they had tucked a medium-sized kickball under their shirts. "But Sango…you still have a lap."

Sango smiled and wiped her eyes. "Over the next several months, my lap is going to disappear, but honey, I promise I'll still be able to cuddle you."

"Now," Miroku said, "in the interests of my knocked-up wife's nutritional needs, can we please eat?"

They passed plates and dishes, Kagome and Sesshoumaru helping Rin. Kagome only cried twice during the meal, once to burn off some lingering sadness and once because of pure, unfiltered joy.

XxXxX

Kagome rinsed the last of the heavy pots and watched Oberon running in the backyard, flitting in and out of the dark shadows. Sesshoumaru was in the living room borrowing her laptop to catch up on a few emails, Mr. and Mrs. Taisho were putting Rin to bed, and she was left alone to enjoy a moment of peace and reflect on the day. Her first Thanksgiving without Kikyou and Inuyasha, one she approached with such methodical fierceness, so concerned about not lapsing into depression, had ended up easy and pleasant. She needn't have worried.

Miroku and Sango had said their goodbyes early. They pleaded tiredness, but Kagome suspected they wanted some time alone together to savor their first days as expectant parents. She remembered when Kikyou announced her pregnancy—Inuyasha's pride and befuddlement over the prospect of becoming a father and her sister's deep introspection and fresh mournfulness at the absence of their mother. Kikyou had kept meticulous journals during her pregnancy, detailing physical changes and thoughts on the process of growing another human and all the ensuing responsibilities. Kagome had never read them. They would be so much more appreciated, she had reasoned, if she saved the experience of living of her sister's journey into motherhood for when she herself was in that position. But she had to honestly admit that may never happen, and it would be a shame if Kikyou's words were put away forever. Kagome felt confident that, as long as she kept them safe to be given to Rin someday, Kikyou would approve Sango's access.

Dishes washed and put away, Kagome let the dog in and was overcome by a horrific realization—she had left a window open on her PC. Her column inbox. She summoned indignation mode and rushed over to the couch where Sesshoumaru was sitting. "Don't bother with denial," she snarled. "You were reading it." His single raised eyebrow and the slow, deliberate way he shut the lid of her computer and set it on the coffee table made her wonder if he was capable of feeling shame.

"Interesting column this week, Scarlet," he said. "I had no idea you were such an authority on threesomes. Does this knowledge come from direct personal experience?"

Kagome flopped onto the couch next to him and closed her eyes as if in a great deal of pain. "None of your fucking business."

He would have preferred to prolong the teasing, but she didn't seem in the mood to play along. "I didn't read anything. I saw what it was and minimized the window. You can trust me, you know." His interest, after all, was not in the questions, but her answers and insightful, humorous off-topic commentary.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, trying to detect if he was being truthful. "Yeah, I trust you." She put on her apologetic face. "Now I feel guilty."

"Don't." He paused a moment, thoughtful. "Your advice to the woman who almost cheated on her husband was unexpected."

"Really?" Kagome scooted toward him. "I didn't think it was that off the wall."

He was pleased she was willing to talk about her column. "Usually you advocate quite strongly for honesty and communication."

"I do…but this just seemed like a good time to keep the trap shut. It would have been a different story if she had screwed the other guy, but it was just a make-out session. The actual letter was longer than what made it to print and so full of remorse I could practically taste it. I doubt she would ever let anything like that happen again, so fessing up in this case seemed kinda pointless."

"So if the cheater is sorry, it's okay?"

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Did I _say_ it was okay? Let me put it this way…if my partner kissed someone else, felt like utter shit about it, and was seriously unlikely to ever repeat, I would not want to know."

He couldn't resist. "But sex is different?"

"Of course."

"What if she had done everything _but_ intercourse…should she tell then? And at what point on Scarlet's cheating scale does an offense move from ignorable to divorceable?"

She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Are you enjoying the role of Devil's Advocate?"

"Immensely."

Kagome's face broke into a huge grin. "Well, of course I draw no line in the sand…there is no black and white and every situation is judged on its own. But yeah, I'd say once genitals become involved, even just touching with no orgasm, all attempts to claim innocuousness fly out the window." Kagome squirmed with delight. "Any other stuff you'd like to ask me?"

Before Sesshoumaru could again broach the subject of her threesome experience, his parents came into the living room.

"That child is simply the most precious thing," Mrs. Taisho sighed.

"Sometimes I think your mother would spend the entire night staring at her while she sleeps." Mr. Taisho regarded the pair on the sofa with suspicion. He and his wife had obviously interrupted a rather lively exchange. He knew Sesshoumaru and Kagome had struck up a friendship because of Rin, but he had thought of their relationship as purely platonic. There was something, however, about the intensity in his son's expression that made him wonder. Rose, still under the enchantment of her granddaughter, appeared not to notice. "It's nine o'clock. Not too early, not too late. Cribbage game?"

"I'm Kagome's partner," Sesshoumaru said quickly. The four of them had played once before, and his father and Kagome made an unbeatable team. It drove the competitor in him crazy.

An hour and a few games later, Mr. and Mrs. Taisho declared their evening over. After thanking Kagome for the wonderful dessert and company, they said good night, leaving Kagome and Sesshoumaru truly alone for the first time since she had received the parole notice letter nearly three weeks before.

"Would you like to stay for a glass of wine?" Kagome asked. Though not necessarily into continuing the discussion of her former sex life, she didn't want him to leave and was relieved when he accepted her offer. She poured two glasses of Pinot, put on a Tchaikovsky CD, dimmed the lights, and lit some candles.

Sesshoumaru hid a smile. "Are you trying to seduce me, Kagome?"

A furious blush spread across her face. "Don't be ridiculous," she laughed, thoroughly unconvincing. "I was just making it cozy."

They sat, and he pulled her close. She stiffened in his arms. "It's…cozier this way," he said. The pause before _cozier_ gave the word an entirely new meaning.

She settled against him and laid her cheek on his shoulder, feeling the crisp cotton of his shirt and the heat of his skin just beneath. Her inner alarm was screaming 'you're the one being seduced!' Her inner alarm was ignored.

Sesshoumaru stroked her hair, smoothing it past her neck and down her back. This wasn't the first or even the second time they had been in this position, but it was the first time they had been in close physical proximity when he wasn't offering some sort of consolation. They were together, simply taking pleasure in one another other's company, content as candles flickered and music played. Words had become unimportant. Kagome was now adjusted to his long periods of silence, and he found himself more interested in conversation than he had ever been. They achieved balanced with each other.

"How are you?" he asked after several minutes of quiet.

"Happy."

His hand moved lower and caressed the dipping curve of her waist.

"You haven't been around much," she said softly, not moving to separate. "Rin and I have missed you."

"I've missed you too. Things should calm down at the office sometime before the end of December."

She raised her face to his. "You work way too much. Please tell me aren't going in tomorrow."

"Unfortunately, bright and early. I have a meeting at eight with my attorneys." He stared into her dark eyes, mirroring the glints of copper candlelight. "A day off is a luxury I won't have for the foreseeable future."

Kagome snuggled in closer. "I worry about you. That much work isn't healthy…even for a Type A personality. I thought the point of being the boss was you don't have to sweat the small stuff."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. She was soft, warm, and very near. "I don't have a choice. And none of this is small stuff." The amount he worked was non-negotiable. He had too much at stake—decades of school and personal sacrifice—to flinch now that his years of careful planning were finally coming to fruition. "Are you participating in the traditional Black Friday retail frenzy?" The talk of work had sucked some intimacy from the situation. He regretted that reality had to intrude, but that didn't change the fact that he had to get up at five.

"Fuck no. I make most of my gifts. And I would rather get a root canal than go to the malls during holiday shopping season." She absorbed the silent rumble of laughter in his chest. "Actually…that's not quite true. Rin and I have plans to go to OakView Mall next Friday after school so she can get her picture taken with Santa. I figure this is the last year she'll consent to sit on Santa's lap." She looked up at him with an impish smile. "And you're going with us. I'll not take No for an answer."

She had a similar, non-negotiable tone to her voice. He recognized obstinacy, a trait that had to be a dominant gene in his family, a mile away. Certainly cuddled up next to him, it was unmistakable. He didn't dare refuse. "I'll clear my schedule for Friday afternoon next. You still owe me a dinner."

Kagome smiled. "I'm pretty sure I fed you that night. I think you owe me."

"You'll get nothing and like it."

"Did you just quote pop culture?" she asked in amazement. "I'm impressed.

"You need to have your preconceived notions of me knocked down."

"You surprise me every time we talk like this." Kagome finished her wine. His glass had been empty for several minutes. "Should I open a new bottle?"

"I can't stay." After all the waiting, those three words were detested. "My alarm is going off in six hours, and I need to be prepared to deal with a fight among the firm's lawyers."

She nodded, understanding the importance of both responsibility and sleep. "Don't forget…you are expected next Friday afternoon. I'm telling Rin first thing in the morning, so no backing out."

As if I could say No to you, he thought.

They let the dog out and washed stemware, hanging on to the last few minutes of their time together before the unwelcome, inevitable goodbye.

Kagome walked him to the door, cognizant of the silence, but unsure of what to say. Before she could speak, there was a large, warm hand at the small of her back, tracing her spine and pulling her closer. He smoothed the hair from her face, tucking it behind an ear, and followed an invisible line along her jaw and down the side of her neck.

"Thank you for dinner."

He lightly grasped her chin and, obedient to the slight pressure, she tilted her face to his. The darkness made her near-blind, but she could feel him as the space that separated them became nothing. His mouth gently touched hers, almost asking permission, then, sensing no hesitation, he kissed her.

It was the obvious culmination to everything that had transpired between them that night, yet the heat and pressure of his mouth on hers still surprised her. "Wha…what the hell was that?" she stammered when he pulled back, her voice barely a whisper.

"A fitting end to a perfect evening. Good night, Kagome." He went through the door and disappeared. For weeks they had been in a holding pattern of familiarity, friendship, and unresolved sexual tension. And one kiss had reduced it to hopeful, delicious pieces. He walked away, leaving their future wide open, uncertain, huge.

Kagome locked the door and wandered into the living room as if in a trance. She sank into the spot on the couch they had, only minutes before, occupied together.

Sesshoumaru kissed her. A good kiss. Kagome leaned back, shut the world out, and hit Rewind in her brain. His fingers were warm and strong; his lips were soft and firm. The kiss was not too long, not too short. It was a real kiss, not one between Just Friends. It was perfect.

After an unknowable amount of time, she took care of her nightly bathroom ritual, undressed, and crawled into bed. The kiss was again replayed.

It was still perfect.

&&&

I do not own Inuyasha, YouTube, Sponge Bob, or quotes from A Christmas Story and Caddyshack. Thank you for reading!


	29. Lost and Found

OakView Mall, the region's largest shopping center, was considered by many to be Retail Mecca. Located in a distant suburb and anchored by Nordstrom and Macys, it covered over a million square feet and housed almost two hundred stores and attractions, including high-end luxury shops, a fifteen-screen cinema, and a huge indoor playground and climbing wall. On that particular late Friday afternoon it was crowded with people, crammed in like sweaty, bargain-hunting sardines, high on the fumes of holiday consumerism.

Kagome saw the length of the line in front of Santa's Workshop and breathed a sigh of relief; it wasn't nearly as long as she had feared.

She had been up late the night before, drinking, caroling, and carousing with Bank and Jak, and the small hangover she had been trying to ignore the whole day was asserting itself. The throbbing in her temples had begun during an argument with Sesshoumaru when they arrived at the mall. He drove straight to the valet parking, sending her into a vituperative denunciation of privilege and insisting that they park like normal people. Unfortunately the ramp was full, forcing them into the farthest reaches of the large, flat lot. The frigid walk, her guilt at Rin's chattering teeth, and Sesshoumaru's glowering disapproval didn't help. The throng and loud, annoying seasonal music once they were inside intensified the pain behind her eyes, so Kagome was pleasantly surprised that the line seemed manageable. Perhaps she wasn't meant to suffer a full-blown headache after all. "Well that's not too bad. Given that we had to park in East Jesus I figured we'd be waiting forever."

Sesshoumaru frowned down at her. "I'll remind you our parking situation is because of _your_ high-minded mulishness." Her rambling diatribe and the resulting six minute walk from the car to the doors in freezing temperatures hadn't been amusing. "And I suggest you take a better look at the line."

The line, Kagome realized, was only those who had paid the in-house photographer; the actual queue behind the cash register was much longer, zigzagging back and forth and going around a corner. "Crap." She dug in her purse for ibuprofen.

"What made you want to come here anyway? Surely you didn't expect anything different?"

"I've never been here before. I wanted to come because I heard they had a really nice multi-cultural, holiday display. Seriously…I had no idea it would be this crowded."

"Kagome," he said with disdain, "they broke the record for attendance last weekend. You could have picked a less-busy day of the week."

The irritation in his voice made her instantly defensive. "I picked a Friday," she growled, "so we wouldn't have to worry about getting Rin home early on a school night. How was I to know half the people in the tri-state area had the same stupid idea. I assumed the big crowds would show up on Saturday and Sunday. A reasonable assumption. How are you such an authority on this place anyway?" She hated how snide she sounded. In the week since he had kissed her, Sesshoumaru had only been to the guest house once—for thirty seconds to drop off Rin after picking her up from school. Kagome knew he was busy, but he gave no indication that the kiss was anything more than a one-time occurrence and if that was the case, Kagome didn't know how to feel about it. Her confusion made her peevish.

"I haven't been here in five years, since the ribbon cutting ceremony, but I stay informed of the family businesses."

Kagome's mouth hung open. "Wait…you _own_ this?"

"This is a Taisho, Incorporated property." Sesshoumaru paused, quiet a moment. "It was what my father was…devoted to when he had his heart attack. I had just finished my masters program and instead of accepting an offer I had from a firm in London, I moved back here to tie up the loose ends while he recovered."

Kagome remembered he had turned down Julliard to satisfy his father and his own sense of responsibility, and she wondered how carefully chosen his words were. "I'm sorry," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "I was out late last night, and my burgeoning headache has made me bitchy."

"I was at the office until midnight and went back at seven this morning. I'm short-tempered as well."

Rin had been watching, getting more and more upset at the hostility between them. "I'm sorry. Is it my fault you guys are fighting? I'm the one who wanted to see Santa."

Sesshoumaru and Kagome looked at each other, both instantly remorseful. In the midst of their bickering, they had forgotten Rin.

"Honey, it's not your fault at all," Kagome said and bent down to hug her.

"Rin, we both want to be here with you." Sesshoumaru ruffled Rin's hair until she lost the hurt puppy look. "Your aunt and I temporarily overlooked the fact that we are all in this together. Alright?" Rin nodded. "Shall we get in line?"

As they made their way through the teeming crowd, dodging strollers and people distracted by cell phones, Kagome nudged Sesshoumaru with her elbow. "I like it when we're on the same team. And sorry for the stuff I said about entitlement and snobbery."

He nodded once. It was oddly comforting to know that, despite the considerable warming of his feelings toward her, she could still irritate the hell out of him.

They took their place at the end of the line, and Kagome noticed that Rin was staring at the floor, moping and silent. She thought Rin seemed a little off when they picked her up at Haven, but assumed it was because she was in need of a snack. "Rin Rin," she asked, "are you okay?"

Rin shrugged.

"What is it, honey?"

"You know how Mommy said that the Santas that we see before Christmas are representatives of the real Santa in the North Pole?"

Kagome nodded. She remembered Kikyou's explanation the year before when Rin asked her how Santa could be at Children's Museum _and_ the Zoo at the same time.

"Is the _real_ Santa Claus real?" Her voice was small and worried.

Kagome bristled and her upper lip twitched. "Who have you been talking to?"

She shrugged again. "I told Brittney that I was going to see Santa today after school, and she said there's no such thing. She said Santa is a lie that grown-ups tell kids to make them act good."

Sesshoumaru had no idea how to handle the situation—this was an area with which he had absolutely no experience—and was relieved when Kagome took charge. She knelt in front of the girl and took the little hands in her own. "Rin, _I_ believe in Santa."

Rin looked deep into her aunt's eyes, and her face broke into a delirious grin. "No." She threw her arms around Kagome's neck and hugged her tightly. "I knew it! I knew Santa was real. I knew you would make it better."

Kagome blinked back tears and looked at Sesshoumaru. He seemed impressed, something that pleased her. "Of course, sweetie." She gave Rin a loud smooch and stood back up. "The line seems to be moving along okay." They scooted forward.

After a moment, Sesshoumaru whispered into Kagome's ear, "You are a talented liar."

Kagome winked at him. "What makes you think I'm lying?" she whispered back.

"Can we play I Spy?" Rin asked. It was their default standing-in-line game. Kagome and Sesshoumaru's frustration and impatience had disappeared, and now that Kagome had restored her faith in the correct order of the universe, all was right in her world again. "Uncle Sesshoumaru, you can go first."

"How do we play?"

Rin rolled her eyes. She had never met anyone who didn't know how to play I Spy. "I'll go first," she grumbled, impatient. "You'll see." Her Uncle read bed-time stories and gave shoulder rides almost as good as her Daddy, but he still had a lot to learn. She looked around at the sparkling decorations in the store windows and the people everywhere. They would be able to play for hours. "I spy with my little eye…something shiny."

XxXxX

Rin, for an hour and a half, watched the line in front of them shrink as her excitement level grew. The trio waited together, playing I Spy and other time-wasting games and engaged in general people watching. In Rin's estimation, the place was almost as interesting as the airport. Sesshoumaru had returned a few calls he deemed important, then informed them that he was officially no longer at work and switched his phone off. Kagome acted silly, making a great show to congratulate him and say the first step was the hardest. Rin was afraid that he would get mad that she was teasing him, but he only smiled a little and shook his head. Finally it was her turn to sit on Santa's lap, and she knew exactly what to request.

The seed had been planted the day after Thanksgiving when she overheard Kagome talking to Sango on the phone. _All I know is that if he kisses me again, I'm doomed. _Rin didn't think she sounded very doomed at all. The seed germinated when her uncle brought her home from school that Wednesday. Kagome was in the kitchen making lasagna, and he left quickly before he could be invited for dinner. He had told her he needed to go back to work, but Rin knew he really wanted to stay. And she knew Kagome wanted him to stay too. Now her idea was in full bloom.

She and Santa exchanged pleasantries. He asked her name and age. She told him that she had moved and, after receiving reassurance that he would find her new house on Christmas Eve, asked what cookies she should leave out by the tree. Then the all important question. "Rin, what would you like for Christmas this year?"

She didn't miss a beat. "I want my aunt and uncle to get married and for him to come and live with us."

Santa stared at her a moment and asked about her parents. After Rin told him they died that spring, Santa asked her to point out her aunt and uncle. Kagome, visibly as giddy and bouncy as the children around her, was clutching Sesshoumaru's sleeve and taking a picture with her phone. "Ah…I see. You look very much like your aunt. I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do. They must care about you a great deal."

Rin nodded and gave him a peck on the cheek; it was good enough. She returned to Kagome and Sesshoumaru, took their hands, and led them away.

"What did you ask for from Santa?" Kagome didn't bother to mask her nosiness.

"Not telling." Rin wasn't exactly sure if the same rules for wishing on the first star of the night applied to Santa, but she wasn't about to take chances. And she couldn't really tell the truth anyway.

Kagome laughed and hugged her. She took Rin's refusal to share as a sign that the girl was still a Believer. "Little creep."

They walked through the Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and Yule displays, slowly making their way to the second floor to do a little shopping. Sesshoumaru took Rin into the Lavin store to pick out something to give to his parents, and Kagome bought a stick of cocoa butter at The Body Shop for Sango. "Kikyou swore up and down it kept her pregnant belly from getting stretch marks," she said. Purchases made and safely stowed in Kagome's large shoulder bag, they continued to wander and window shop.

"I'm hungry," Rin declared at length. The big, soft pretzel Kagome had bought her while they waited in line had been consumed long ago, and she wondered if the two adults could hear the violent rumbling of her tummy.

Kagome checked the time on her cell phone. "No wonder…it's way after six. We'd be getting ready to eat dinner right now if we were home."

"Can we eat here?" Rin looked at Sesshoumaru hopefully. She knew he, like her grandparents, wanted to give her everything she asked for, but she was also aware that Kagome had been telling all three Taishos that they needed to say No to her more often. She wasn't sure if food counted.

"Fine by me," he said.

They went in the direction of the nearest elevators, Rin between the two adults, holding hands and swinging back and forth. She was happy, happier than she had been since Thanksgiving and the delicious thrill of pretending to be sick. The afternoon had turned out wonderfully. They waited with the crowd, watching the numbers above the two elevators until one of the doors yawned open and a large group spilled out. "Can I push the button?" Rin asked as they shuffled in among the mass of other shoppers.

"Sure honey," Kagome replied. "The food court is on the third floor."

Sesshoumaru frowned. He despised fast food. "Let's go to P. F. Chang's instead."

"The wait at the downtown Chang's is two hours on a good night," Kagome groaned, as she was jostled to the back of the elevator. "This place is packed. Rin can't wait that long to eat."

"I can have us seated within ten minutes."

She glared at him, hating a repeat of the parking lot conversation. "Cutting the line is unfair."

"While I admire your sense of justice and equality, this ridiculous need to ignore the advantages I can offer has grown stale." She was unbelievably sexy when argumentative, and he was nearly overcome by an urge to kiss the intractability off her face, but in an elevator crowded with people was hardly the time or the place. "Now quit being so stubborn."

"But…what kind of message is that sending to Rin?"

"The message it sends Rin is that her uncle cares about her needs and wants to feed her." When the door opened at the third floor, he gripped her arm firmly and ignored her look of indignant disbelief. Half of the people exited, and he didn't allow her to follow. "Just let me do this," he said with as much patience as he was capable of.

"But…"

He could sense her resistance was crumbling. "Don't worry, Kagome. No one will mistake you for anyone other than a proud member of the unwashed masses."

She saw the amused warmth in his eyes and grinned. "I love it when you talk like that."

The elevator came to a final stop at the fourth floor, where P. F. Chang's and the cinema were located. The last of the riders stepped off and dispersed.

"I don't think they have a children's menu," Kagome said. "I hope they do half portions…although cold Chinese leftovers are my favorite breakfast. What do you think, honey? In the mood for spicy?"

They looked around. Rin was nowhere in sight.

XxXxX

Rin surveyed the food court with trepidation. Her experience with fast food was limited to the few times her father had convinced her mother that an occasional Happy Meal wasn't going to ruin her health. She recognized the golden arches, but beyond that she would need some help in choosing. "Kagome? What will I like?" She glanced back. Instead of her aunt there was a group of women wearing frumpy Christmas sweaters. "Kagome?" she said, a little louder. She scanned the crowd for her uncle, fully expecting to see his tall form walking toward her, but neither he nor Kagome appeared.

She quickly figured out that the restaurant Sesshoumaru had mentioned was on a different floor and she had gotten off the elevator too soon. She ran back to the elevators and squeezed into one just before it closed. When the doors opened, Rin was the first person out, but realized too late that it had gone down, not up. She was back on the second floor. She spun around in time to see both elevators close and continue down to the first floor.

All around her the holiday music and decorations that earlier seemed so cheery and fun now only brought chaos and confusion. She was in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers, and the two people she trusted to never let anything bad happen to her weren't there. Rin's heart pounded loud in her ears and she felt like she was underwater. For the first time in her five years, she was lost and alone.

XxXxX

"Shit." Kagome said, her face turning a shade paler. "She got off on the food court level."

"The stairs are this way." Sesshoumaru grabbed Kagome's hand and led her toward a brightly lit exit sign.

She stopped short. "Wait. What if she tries to come up here? Should one of us stay in case?"

Sesshoumaru looked at the elevators. The numbers indicated they were both on the third floor and going down. "I think we'll have better luck if we try to go after her. The elevator won't be back up here for several minutes." He pushed through the line of would-be diners and gave the hostess at P. F. Chang's a business card, telling her that if a small black-haired girl got off the elevator to keep her there and call him.

The scene at the food court was a nightmare. It was swimming with people, more crowded than the area around Santa's Workshop. They split up and searched through the sea of humanity—Kagome checked the restrooms and people waiting in line for food, and Sesshoumaru combed through row after row of tables. Ten minutes later they met at the stairs.

"She's not on this level," Sesshoumaru said. "You go down to the second floor, I'll check the first."

"Sesshoumaru…we _can't_—"

"Kagome, stop." Sesshoumaru grasped her arms and forced her to look into his eyes, refusing either of them to lose control. "We haven't lost her," he said, his voice steady and determined. "We'll find her. Meet me back here in twenty minutes."

She nodded weakly; he almost had her convinced.

Kagome went to the second floor and tried to keep tight hold of the panic that curled around her like icy fingers. She peered in every store, hoping to catch sight of a small girl or some miraculous sign that pointed the way, but saw only faceless bodies that weren't Rin. Everywhere, everything wasn't Rin. Her nervous agitation wouldn't let her walk slowly, yet she was terrified that she wasn't looking closely enough and would miss her. When she realized she was back at her starting point and her niece was still lost, the world began to spin. _Please let her have gone down to Santa_. _Please let him find her. Please, please_. "Please."

Back on the food court level, her heart fell. Sesshoumaru was waiting for her, alone. The worry that broke through his usually stoic, placid features shattered the remains of the calm she was clinging to. Panic and her morbid imagination began to overwhelm her, and she started to shake.

"Kagome," he said, again grasping her shoulders to keep her from losing herself, "it's okay." He had seen her upset before, but her stricken expression threatened to rob him of his last bit of self-control. An unbidden image of Rin looking for them, crying and vulnerable made it worse. "We have to stay calm. We'll find her. Let's go down to the customer service desk. By now she's asked for help and someone took her there."

Kagome shook her head, eyes wide with fear. "What if…what if it's him? What if he followed me?" she whispered. "What if he took her?"

Sesshoumaru was incredulous a moment, then his face hardened. There was no doubt about the _he_ she was referring to. "The security center is on the first floor."

They hurried down. Within a few minutes they were standing among a handful of mall cops, all attention trained on the several dozen video screens showing the security cameras set up throughout the mall and parking lots. Unfortunately the screens were black and white and the description of a cute, petite black-haired girl wearing a bright yellow puffy coat made it difficult for a stranger to spot anything.

"Is that her?" a guard asked, pointing to a screen in front of him. It showed Rin, wiping tears and licking a lollipop, walking with a tall, balding man. The mall cops looked at them.

"I...it's her…but I don't know who that man is." Kagome's knees buckled, and Sesshoumaru caught her as she swayed.

"I'm going after her. Which parking lot is that?"

The pair disappeared from the screen. "It's the far west portion of Lot Five," a guard said, "but if we wait a minute, we'll see if they come back into view in camera seventeen or camera eighteen. Then we'll know the fastest way to reach them. Where they are now is in the middle of a couple different exits."

Sesshoumaru seethed. His instinct was to immediately run to her rescue, but without a more pinpointed target, he was guessing at best and blind at worst. Inaction was unacceptable, but getting there too late or to the wrong place was unthinkable. "Why aren't they coming back into view?" It had been an intolerably long minute.

"There are small areas not covered by surveillance," another guard said. "Maybe he's parked in one of the blind spots. We should be looking at the other screens too, at the cars exiting. If we can get a license plate number, the State Highway Patrol can issue an Amber Alert."

The words Amber Alert hit Kagome like a punch to the gut. She buried her face in Sesshoumaru's chest, sure that if not for his arm around her she would have fallen. They were living every parent's worst nightmare. "Please get her back."

"I will." He looked back at the screens, but they didn't change. "I'm not waiting. Call me when they come back onscreen and tell me which direction to go." He guided Kagome into a chair.

As Kagome took her phone out of her pocket, it rang. The number was unfamiliar. "Hello?" she said, coasting numbly on auto-pilot.

"Kagome? This is Alec, Shippou's other dad," the voice at the other end said. "I've got Rin with me. I found her wandering around the second floor. She said she got separated from you. I wanted to call right away, but I realized I had left my cell in the car. She's upset and cold, but she's okay."

Kagome released a long-held breath. "_Ohmygod_. Oh my god." All the panic and dread and guilt were replaced with a relief so intense she had to put her head down on her knees to control the trembling.

"She's okay. We're at my car, which is closest to…the Macy's entrance at ladies shoes. We'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Kagome looked up at the faces watching her and mumbled an explanation that Rin had been found by a family friend. She and Sesshoumaru blurted quick thanks to the security crew and set out for Macy's.

As they walked, Kagome let loose a cathartic string of obscenities, then pulled a silver flask from her bag and drank deeply. "Holy fuck. Maker's Mark never tasted so good." She extended the flask to Sesshoumaru.

He was used to her tendency to curse like a particularly vulgar sailor, even gaining a reluctant, horrified appreciation for the creative foulness of her mouth. He accepted the flask and drank, letting the amber liquor coat his nerves. It dulled the dangerous knife-edge of the tragedy they had dodged enough to ease back into the safeness of reality. "Do you always carry bourbon in your purse?"

"Not typically. I went out caroling last night with Bank and Jak. Had to have something to keep me going in the cold."

As they got closer to the shoe section of Macy's, Kagome began to walk faster until she was practically running. Rin saw her from across the space and took off, flying into her arms. Kagome caught her niece and held her small body close. Rin started to sob.

Kagome sank to the floor. "We're here, honey. We've got you."

Sesshoumaru reached them a moment later. Rin was crying, and Kagome rocked her gently, hushing with soothing sounds.

"I want Mommy," Rin cried. "I want Mommy and Daddy. I want my Mommy and Daddy."

Kagome found her center, her strength. The accident that killed her own parents, the absence of Kikyou and Inuyasha were again stabbing her, reopening the wound of death and loss, but this she had faced down before. And this was comfort she knew how to provide. "Baby, I know. I know." She simply let her cry, whispering that she missed them too, apologies, and promises of safety.

Sesshoumaru knelt next to them. Years ago, a frightened boy away from home, he had schooled himself not to show emotions, thinking that if he didn't let the pain show on his face he could better push it away. It had become second nature, but now his façade was in danger of cracking. Rin's pleas for her parents cut into a part of him that had been long buried. The hurt child. The child alone. Fortunately his relief at finding Rin made it easy enough for him to once again ignore his feelings of the past. He took Kagome's hand, and she squeezed back. They were each other's support.

Rin lifted her tear-stained face from Kagome's bosom and looked at her uncle. He put his arms out to her, and she crawled into his lap for a fresh burst of sobs. After a minute, they stood, none paying mind to the crowd that had gathered to watch the drama unfolding.

Kagome recovered sufficiently to remember their savior standing nearby. "Alec, thank you. So much." They shook hands, then embraced awkwardly.

"I know we've never actually met, but I recognized Rin from volunteering at Haven."

"I just thank heaven you were the one to find her…and completely blame myself that we got separated."

"No worries. It happens to the best of us. Rin's a brave girl." He backed away and gave them space. "I've got a flight tomorrow and need to do all my shopping before the mall closes. Take care."

"Thanks again," she said. "Give my best to Jason and Shippou."

Sesshoumaru shifted Rin to one arm and put the other around Kagome. "Let's go home."

XxXxX

Back at the guest house, Kagome heated up leftovers for them while Sesshoumaru distracted Rin with petting the dog and encouraging her to tell him about the snow fort she and Inuyasha had built after the first major snowfall the year before. Rin, someone who under normal circumstances ate up every minute of bedtime attention like a glutton, was even more clingy when they tucked her in and insisted that they both stay with her—no songs, no stories, just them sitting on either side of her little bed until she fell asleep. Kagome and Sesshoumaru were painfully aware of her need for reassurance and stability and were too happy to oblige. Both felt at fault for the elevator flirtation that accounted for their lapse in supervision.

Kagome rubbed Rin's back and saw that her eyes were growing heavy. "I don't know what you're doing tomorrow night," she said softly to Sesshoumaru, "but I got a text from Sango on the ride home. Seems her positive pregnancy test has left her unable to stay awake past eight, and now I have an extra ticket to the Nutcracker ballet. If you aren't busy, would you like to go with us?" Rin snapped to attention to hear his answer.

Sesshoumaru stroked the unruly dark hair. "Go to sleep." He had worked fourteen hour days that past week in order to ensure his weekend was relatively clear and he could spend time with them. There was nothing he would rather do. "I'd enjoy that; it's been years since I've seen it. I've got to go to the office in the morning…but would you like to get dinner first? Maybe at Arabesque? I'll have Leon ask the chef to work up a children's menu."

Kagome quirked a smile. "You mean you're not going to your mother's bridge club holiday brunch tomorrow morning?"

"God no," he said with a laugh. "Don't tell me you got roped into it."

"Not unwillingly. I like your mom. And I'd love to do dinner first…but I made a total ass of myself the last time I was in Arabesque."

"If memory serves, you gave my family a well-deserved public shaming. Don't feel you aren't welcome there."

Kagome was thoughtful. "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

They were quiet as Rin's breathing deepened and the worry that creased her brow disappeared.

"With her eyes closed, she looks exactly like you. Only aged forward twenty odd years."

Kagome was struck by a memory of Inuyasha checking in on a sleeping Rin. He and Kikyou had just returned from the airport after their trip to New York, and he took the steps two at a time to see Rin, even though she had long since been in bed. _Kiddo, you look just like Mommy when you sleep_. She felt tears, too long held back, hot behind her eyes. It was high time for a breakdown. "I think she's out."

They took care not to wake Rin as they left the room and parental duties temporarily behind. The emotional weight of the evening had taken its toll. Kagome slumped against the wall of the darkened corridor and put her face in her hands. Sesshoumaru pulled her close and held her, both still needing the other, as though they were the only people capable of understanding what they had been through.

Kagome shook her head violently. "I don't want to ever feel like that again," she said. "I want to die when I think about what could have happened."

He silently concurred. "Don't think about that then," he said. He took her hands and pulled them down from her face. "It's my fault. I can't believe I didn't see her getting off the elevator."

"Sesshoumaru, don't blame yourself. I should have been watching her better. She's my responsibility, and I let her down."

"She's not your responsibility alone. How about we agree that we are equally at fault, thankful that this ended well, and resolve to never let it happen again?"

Kagome sniffed back her tears. "Agreed." She looked up at him. "And what about you?" she asked gently. "Back on the floor of Macy's, you seemed so…sad. Like someone I'd never met before."

He didn't know if she was that perceptive or if he had become less unreadable. "I'm alright now."

"I noticed. But you can only repress for so long. If you'd like to talk, I'm a good listener."

He smoothed black strands of hair away from her face and caressed the angled edge of her jaw. "Not tonight." He had had enough drama; it was time to move on to other, better things.

She nodded. She was patient. "Would you like some tea?" If he could still repress, she could still be in denial.

"Not particularly." He rubbed his thumb across the fullness of her bottom lip and waited to see if she'd flinch.

Kagome stayed still as he lowered his face to hers and waited to see if the second kiss was as nice as the first. His lips were smooth and warm; it was good. Though the contact was brief, his intentions were obvious—this was meant to be the start of something. She opened her eyes slowly when they parted. He was still so close. "And what was that? You can't possibly say anything about this evening has been perfect."

He smiled secretly at her reference to their first kiss. "It isn't over yet." He kissed her again, longer, lingering over her mouth.

Kagome pulled back. Even in the dim light of the hallway, she could see heat and passion vivid in his amber eyes. "But…you don't even like me." Denial was raging against the dying of the light.

"I changed my mind about you a long time ago, Kagome."

He moved closer, and she tilted her face to meet him halfway. This kiss she returned, hesitant at first, recognizing a familiar, if neglected, act. She reached up and laid her palms along the sculpted lines of his cheekbones, threading her fingers through the long hair at his temples, as their mouths became hotter, frenzied and needy. When their tongues touched and they finally, fully took in the other's taste, Kagome moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself into him. She was aware of every place their bodies met, the way her slender curves fit so perfectly against the lean, hard planes of his chest and abdomen. Her first coherent thought was lusty delight that he was such a good kisser. Her second was that her entire being was now fiery with desire and it seemed a crime against nature that they were still vertical. The dam had been breached and soon there would be no holding back.

She stopped and rested her forehead against his, breathless. "Wait," she panted. "If we don't stop now…you know where this is going?"

His answer was to reclaim her mouth. With little more than a pivot of their bodies, they were through Kagome's bedroom doorway and tumbling onto her bed. They landed side by side, hair tangled together, and quickly resumed their explorations. Sesshoumaru was relieved she responded to him with such passionate, gentle aggression. Kagome thrilled to learn that he shared her love of biting and being bitten.

He laid her back and settled above. The room was dark, but the unfiltered moonlight coming through the window glinted in her deep, dark eyes and lent a glow to her ivory skin. He had never seen anyone so lovely. He kissed her mouth again, then turned his attention elsewhere, first to the jaw line he had stroked minutes before, then to her throat. Working his way down, he teased the smooth flesh, eventually focusing on a pulse point and the raging blood under her skin. Kagome writhed and moaned beneath him, her fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He would have preferred to take his time, slowly undressing and kissing every inch of her over the entire night, but her impatience was infectious. There would be time for deliberate indolence in the near future.

Kagome tried to be still, tried not to rip the buttons apart, but he was making her crazed with a fierce need she hadn't felt in ages. It would hardly have been fair, had she not loved every second of it. The torturous attention lavished her on her neck, the sucking and kissing and nibbling, made her a slave to his lips and teeth and tongue and the wonderful, intolerable sensations that coursed through her body and centered between her legs. She felt his hand move down her side to graze the outer curve of her breast, then it stopped and lingered, playing circles with the roundness and tight nipple. She groaned his name and arched into his hand, yearning for more and needing to give back. Buttons finally dealt with, she slipped her hands down his chest and pulled his undershirt up to touch the contours of his muscled abdomen. The naked torso that had reduced her to incoherence after the Halloween party was now hers to enjoy.

The contact shook him, and he produced a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a hiss. His reaction to her small, confident hands and the way she ran her palms and fingers over his ribs to his back, stroking and discovering, made him realize that the assumption that he was seducing her was false. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she desired it as much as he did. He had hardly expected a wilting virgin, but her eagerness, after so much waiting and wondering, was a powerful drug. And he only wanted more. More of her; more of her wanting him.

Kagome felt herself swooning. The raw, unguarded noise he made turned her on as much as his mouth and his hands. In the few times she had seriously entertained thoughts of him as a sexual partner, she assumed he would be closed off and cold; the man with her now was anything but that. Not only did she find him beyond sexy, he was attentive and responsive in ways that surprised her. And ways that made her mind reel with what it would be like when silly barriers like clothing were no longer present. I could be in serious trouble here, she thought. It's much easier to keep one's defenses up if one's partner remains detached, and Kagome was confronted with the notion that there could be more to this encounter than simple casual sex. "Wait," she whispered. "Please."

He stopped kissing her collar bone and looked up. "What's wrong?"

Instead of the feared irritation, she only saw concern on his face. "I need to ask you…_this_…what is this? For you. Is it about needing to let off some steam because of what happened tonight? Because if it is, that's fine. I just need to know."

"Kagome," he said, shaking his head wearily, "you idiot." After wanting her for months and not keeping his wishes from her for the past several weeks, it seemed to him she was being deliberately obtuse. "This is about us; nothing else." He kissed her gently. "What is it to you?" He was almost, _almost_ afraid to hear her answer.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I haven't had sex in two years, give or take. And for a long time, when I did it was glorified one-night-stands or flings with negative emotional commitment. I still carry a lot of baggage and am sorely out of practice at intimacy, but I'm good with finally breaking the drought. If this is just for tonight, I can handle it. But if it is, I need to know that you are at least going to give me the time of day tomorrow."

"I would never treat you like that," he said, stiffening. "I thought you knew me better than that."

Kagome felt him pulling away—the last thing she wanted. "I do. I just needed to cover my bases." She drew him closer again and kissed him. "Now stop pouting before I change my mind and throw you out."

He put an end to her teasing by biting her upper lip. A delicious bite that made her squirm. "I'll make sure you don't change your mind."

She smiled in the dark. "You're pretty confident of your skills in bed." She purred as his hand slid under her sweater and stroked her flat belly, toying with her navel. Point proven. "I think you have too many clothes on."

"Same to you," he said.

They quickly sat up. Kagome straddled his legs before he had a chance to move. She eased the linen Oxford over his broad shoulders and revealed a sleeveless undershirt. "Good god, you're made of sexy." She had a weakness for the tastelessly named wife-beater on a well-built male body and considered asking him to keep it on, but decided her little fetish could wait until the next time. He let her slide the knit cotton up slowly, trailing kisses up his sternum, until the shirt was pulled off and tossed aside. Kagome leaned forward and put her arms around his neck to catch the hair that fell and pooled like silk in her hands. _Yes, made of sexy_. Her mouth found his again, and she felt his hands at her back, traveling up and down the length of her spine, lifting her sweater and the camisole underneath.

Kagome reluctantly stopped kissing him, sat back, and pulled off the layers, leaving her topless. She immediately felt exposed and vulnerable; her breath caught in her throat. She abruptly looked away and fought the memories of shame that assaulted her. Then his arms were around her, bringing her close, and his hair fell over her shoulder. He stroked the back of her neck, just holding her until her breathing calmed. She felt safe again; she trusted him. "I'm sorry I'm such a wreck." She gave a short laugh. "I swear I'm not trying to be confusing on purpose."

"You're not a wreck." He tilted her face up. Her eyes were wide, but no longer filled with fear. "I just don't want you to have any regrets."

"No regrets." She took his hand and guided it to her chest and brushed her tongue over his lips.

No further encouragement was needed. Sesshoumaru circled her waist with one arm and caressed her breast with his other hand, memorizing the curves and softness, the smooth skin and the sensitive peak. Their kisses became longer and deeper. Her doubts were forgotten, and once again their world centered on need and desire. Kagome, flushed and panting, pressed forward with her hips, grinding rhythm into his hard, prominent erection. She wondered if he had any idea how wet she was.

Sesshoumaru groaned. The motions of her hips were making him insane. "Kagome…"

"Let's get under the covers."

Her jeans and his pants were quickly removed and blankets thrown back. Kagome gasped at the sudden cold of the sheets. "_Fuck_." He shook his head and didn't bother to conceal his amusement. "Come here, potty mouth." He gathered her shivering body to him and held her tightly. They stretched out their limbs, chest against chest, letting their hands explore the new expanses of naked skin.

Sesshoumaru sighed. He had spent most of his life with a feeling of dissatisfaction, a vague sense of being incomplete, but he had never been able to identify the nature or source. Restlessness, a desire to succeed was what he had assumed it to be. However as he acquired more power and moved toward the pinnacle of his career, the feeling increased instead of subsiding. And now he knew. He was missing someone with whom to share himself, to help take away the hollow burden of loneliness. He had found her, and she was lying with him, open and willing and wanting.

The soft caresses gained an urgency that, now that they were together between sheets, seemed primal. Hands wandered lower, tracing the dip and swell of a waist and hip, the sensuous power of a finely formed ass. Kagome curled her top leg over his hip and pressed her belly into the heat of his hard cock. The itch between her legs was driving her to distraction, and as if he could read her mind, his fingers found her wet folds, dragging slowly over her opening, teasing her clit.

The effect was electric. It was too much. "I need you," she moaned. "I need you in me. _Now_. Do you have a condom?"

Her question had the effect of a slap to the face. All his condoms were in his room in the other house. "No. Shit."

"Don't worry," Kagome laughed. "I've got some. They're in a box under my bed. You do _not_ get the Scarlet Award for Preparedness." She rolled over to the other, very cold side of the bed and leaned down to retrieve the necessary item.

He heard her fumbling around and gave silent thanks that he didn't have to throw on clothes and venture into the freezing chill of the night, though he would have done it in a heartbeat. After a half minute that seemed an eternity, she was back, kissing him and ripping a condom package open. She stroked his cock, swirling moisture around the tip, and rolled the condom on. Normally she would have loved to prolong the foreplay, but this night was different. There would be future opportunities; right now the only thing that mattered was satisfying the immediacy of their craving for the other.

They rolled together, so that she was on her back, legs open, him lying on top. She put her arms around his neck, and they locked eyes. Behind the lust, there was understanding and acceptance. They were friends first and now to be lovers. He kissed her and paused, giving her a chance to change her mind. She smiled and said, "I'm sure."

He entered her slowly, inch by inch, until their hips were touching. She was slick and hot and perfect. He wanted so badly to give up his tight grip on control. "Alright?"

"Alright," she answered. "I confess I'm worried that in two years I've gotten a little rusty. I hate to think I'm bad in bed."

"I have no prior experience to compare of course, but rusty isn't an adjective I'd use to describe you. You needn't worry about your reputation." He kissed her. "What's that smirk for?"

"You talk an awful lot during sex."

He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. "Coming from you, Kagome, that's pretty rich."

She laughed. "Shut up and fuck me."

His self-control was abandoned. They moved together, thrusting and pressing. Mouth at her neck, nails raking across his back. He had found what he had been blindly searching for, and now it was time to lose himself in her. He grabbed her hips and angled her body, deepening penetration. Her legs, which had been so often the subject of his fantasies, were now wrapped around his waist. Her voice, whispering and moaning his name, was beautiful. She was with him, his; nothing else mattered.

Kagome, who had shunned real life lovers for safer pleasures, was reminded of the joys of being with a partner—the weight of someone else's body on her own, another's smell, hands touching her, the sounds of gratification in her ear—a presence to hold and cherish and share the delirium as it rose and crested. She felt vulnerable and safe, confused and certain. It was so good to be fully alive again.

Afterward he lay back and pulled her onto his chest. Breathing gradually returned to normal, but they stayed together in their world apart.

"Sesshoumaru," she said, "I'm glad it was with you."

There were no words he would rather have heard.

&&&

I do not own Inuyasha, Nordstrom, Macy's, Lavin, The Body Shop, P. F. Chang's, McDonald's menu items or logos, Maker's Mark, Dylan Thomas quotes, or anything I may have overlooked. Thank you for reading!


	30. Nutcracker, Two Swords, Discovery

My sincere apologies for the tardiness of this update. I wanted to have it done six weeks ago, but Real Life has a tendency lately to kick me when I'm down. Thank you all for your continued interest in this fic.

&&&

Oberon woke up, yawned, and moved back to his half of the bed, no longer relegated to the tiny portion by Kagome's feet. He liked the human male who had been spending time with his owner and the small one, and he didn't even mind sharing the part of the bed that he usually claimed. However, the man was gone now, and, just like a comfortable couch, an empty spot on a bed should not go to waste.

The movement roused Kagome, who blinked sleepily and focused on the alarm clock. Just after two a.m. She sighed and slid deeper under the covers. Still another five or six hours of sleep before Rin woke and the day began. She was just beginning to float back into the realm of sleep, when white hair and warm, talented hands tickled her brain. She sat up, gasping and heart pounding with half-panic brought on by the abrupt return to full consciousness, and realized she hadn't been lapsing back into a pleasant dream, but replaying what had happened a few hours before. She glanced at the empty pillow next to her. Sesshoumaru wasn't there.

Kagome breathed deeply and settled back down with a bemused smile. She last remembered lying with her head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his breath and heartbeat as he played with the silky hairs on the back of her neck. He must have left sometime after she had fallen asleep. Safely alone, the blush on her face cooled, and she let her mind wander. The sex was definitely nice, she decided. Probably a lot more than simply nice, but she didn't want to place too much importance on a single, already significant act. Her period of self-imposed celibacy was over, at least for the moment, and Kagome was vigilant about safeguarding her emotions. Certainly the experience had been enjoyable. But there was no reason for her to assume it would happen again, and inflating it into something wonderful only increased the chances she would end up hurt. It is what it is, she told herself, nothing more. Satisfied that her protective barriers were still functioning, she closed her eyes and relaxed, though a noisy part of her screamed with ecstasy _Idiot! It was amazing! Think of how great it will be when you find out what each other really likes!_ When sleep finally claimed her, Kagome was being tortured by her dual halves, one sternly reminding that she should be careful and one couldn't wait to be alone with him again.

XxXxX

"Kagome?" Rin climbed up on the bed and wedged her body between her aunt and the dog. "Kagome, wake up."

Kagome opened an eye. She had been enjoying a light, dreamless sleep. "Hey, honey." She quickly glanced at the alarm clock. Seven thirty. "How are you this morning?" She reached for her robe hanging on the corner of the headboard and slipped it over her shoulders. "Not feeling too afraid anymore, I hope." She grabbed Rin and pulled her under the covers. To her relief, the girl didn't seem to have any immediately recognizable negative effects from the incident at the mall. In fact, Rin seemed to be quite excited about something.

"Is it true or did I dream it?"

"Dream what?" Kagome yawned.

Rin sighed with impatience. "Is my Uncle going to go to the Nutcracker with us?"

Kagome snorted a laugh. "Yes, he is. Not a dream. And we three are going out to dinner first."

Rin smiled and snuggled in closer. She had woken up and hoped that the ephemeral memories of her aunt and uncle's bedside conversation were real and not something she made up while under the influence of sleep. There were too many times when she dreamed of her parents alive, only to wake to her reality. This was much nicer. "When are we going to grandmother's brunch?"

Kagome hugged Rin tight, the dark, soft hair tickling her face. She inhaled deeply. Her niece may have bounced back from her time being lost, but Kagome was shaken. There was still an acute need to just feel her close, physically touching, soaking her and reassurance up like she never had to let go. "We have plenty of lazy cuddle time. It's at ten thirty, so I'll give you a bath in a couple hours. You should have a piece of toast to tide you over though." Kagome hoped she might be able to do a little cleaning or throw a load of laundry in before she had to get Rin ready and decide what to wear herself.

Anything to serve as a distraction.

The women who played bridge with Mrs. Taisho were an intimidating group. They were all highly educated and wealthy, belonging to the upper social strata, with very traditional attitudes about decorum. Kagome had been around them a handful of times and found them to be polite and somewhat friendly, and a few of them had even commissioned art from her. She also had an unsettled, nagging feeling like she was being judged and didn't measure up. She typically didn't care too much how anyone stereotyped her; she had no apologies to make. But she liked Mrs. Taisho and had to admit that she wanted her to like her back. The older woman was calm and reserved and had begun opening up, asking about her sister and the life she and Inuyasha had together. Kagome had confided in her about her own depression. She was the closest thing to a mother that Kagome had had in a long time.

Then a mortified realization poured through her, freezing the blood in her veins. She knew that at first all the attention of Mrs. Taisho and her friends would be on cute, little Rin, the only grandchild present. Inevitably though, the conversation would turn back to their favorite topic—Sesshoumaru and when, for the love of heaven, would he settle down and make one of their daughters happy. And Kagome would have to listen without blushing, listen without awkwardly betraying herself. She would have to listen and try not to show guilt that she had been naked with her hostess's son only twelve hours earlier. Kagome would have contemplated somehow faking sick, but all she could think of was the tight grip of his hand at her hip and his hot mouth at her neck. And the way he smelled and the way he tasted. And afterward, lying together, feeling safety and satisfaction.

Suddenly Rin pulled back and stared at her aunt.

"What?" Kagome blanched. Rin's unwavering, curious gaze made her feel like she was undergoing a wordless interrogation. She hadn't even gotten out of bed yet and already she was breaking into a cold sweat.

Rin's eyes widened, and she squealed. "Nothing." She burrowed in close.

Kagome held her niece's small body and kissed the top of her head. She could have sworn Rin muttered something about Santa working fast.

XxXxX

"Wow." Rin stopped in her tracks and stared open mouthed at the Taisho's formal dining room, which had been transformed into something that Rin could only think of, after prolonged exposure to the tacky, over-the-top seasonal kitsch at the mall the day before, as a Christmas Wonderland.

Kagome grinned and gave Rin a gentle push to join the holiday brunch. Rose told her a few days before that her team of interior designers was coming to decorate the mansion for Christmas. Though someone to do the dirty work of hanging the outdoor lights and getting the tree straight seemed kind of handy, Kagome couldn't imagine paying anyone to do a job that had always been such a source of enjoyment. Some of her best memories connected to Inuyasha and Kikyou were drinking Baileys and hot chocolate and decorating their apartment for the holidays, music playing gently and pot of soup simmering on the stove. She had to admit however as she surveyed the dining room, the professionals did an amazing job.

The table and sideboard were adorned with glittering beaded ribbon and shiny rhododendron leaves, the rich gold and green vivid against the ruby of the poinsettias on display. The chairs were covered in lush chintz fabric that matched the table runner and placemats. Boughs of mixed evergreen framed the windows, and candles were placed on all the sills. At the far end of the room was a large Douglas fir, decorated with white lights, a variety gilt bulbs, and the same beaded gold ribbon. The effect was elegant, festive, and, above all, tasteful. Kagome was impressed, and she wondered if there was another tree elsewhere in the house that was decorated with Taisho family mementos. This one, though stylish, was rather impersonal, like a scene from a magazine, not a real home.

"Are we going to have a Christmas tree, Kagome?"

"Yeah, sweetie. But it's only the first of December. A little too early for holiday decorating, in my opinion. We're still eating Thanksgiving leftovers." Rin's harsh, impatient expression told Kagome that she didn't care what was in the fridge. "I'll go to the storage shed next week sometime."

"Oh little Rin Taisho, look at you!" a loud voice called out.

They had been noticed. Rin frantically grabbed Kagome's hand as her grandmother's friends descended upon her. She generally liked attention, especially from adults, and understood that her position as a long-lost granddaughter, now found, was unique. But one could only be expected to put up with so much covetous cheek pinching, and Rin expected them to be used to her by now.

"Have you ever seen anyone so precious?" Mrs. Hideoshi said to the other women.

"A perfect little angel," Kagura agreed.

"I could just eat you up!" another one said.

Rin's experience told her the last comment was the sort that was often followed by pinched cheeks and she moved to hide her face against Kagome's leg but was soon spared. Mrs. Taisho was joining them. "Grandmother!"

"Rin, darling." Rose bent down and kissed the round cheek. "Your hair is adorable."

Rin nodded and let the ringlets of hair tickle her neck. She had finally persuaded Kagome to give her a few curls with the hot rollers and hoped the hairstyle would last until the ballet. "Kagome did it."

Rose straightened and embraced Kagome tightly. "Thank you so much for bringing Rin. We mother hens do enjoy doting on the young. And it's lovely to have you, Kagome."

"Oh?" Kagura said. "Is Miss Higurashi staying for brunch? I assumed she was merely dropping off the child."

"Of course she's staying," Mrs. Taisho said lightly. "Kagome is fast becoming one of the family. Can I offer you something to drink, dear?"

Kagura and Mrs. Hideoshi's twin scowls spoke loud accusations of social climbing and made Kagome feel like a particularly unwelcome red-headed stepchild. Or, more accurately, a nanny who didn't know her place. Over the course of that morning she had made peace with the fact that she and Sesshoumaru had had sex—both of them wanted it, a condom was used, they would stay friends—she had no reason to feel bad. Now it suddenly seemed she was in a spotlight labeling her an Overreaching Intruder and the night before was the hugest mistake of her life.

The ingredients for mimosas were on the sideboard, and Kagome wondered if anyone would notice if she grabbed the champagne and drank it straight from the bottle, skipping the OJ and glass altogether. She felt Rin give her hand a squeeze, a silent, child version of a comforting pep talk. Mrs. Taisho, who hadn't seen the Hideoshi women's disapproval, continued to smile welcomingly at her. _I'm stronger than this_. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said, "I'd love a cup of coffee. Thank you."

The brunch went better than Kagome had expected it would. Mrs. Taisho was a gracious hostess and made sure that Kagome, who didn't know many of the others very well, felt at ease. The women who had commissioned projects were eager to hear about the progress of the work, one offering a generous bonus if her wall hanging could be ready before she hosted her alumni cocktail party. They were all curious about Kagome's art and materials and asked her opinions on the latest trends in design. Modest about her own work, Kagome accepted their compliments with poise and spoke knowledgeably. She felt that she had impressed some of them, though she couldn't shake the feeling that others didn't think she belonged. She accepted it. The opinions of a select few mattered far more than that of strangers. This wasn't her world, but she was making an attempt, and Mrs. Taisho's approving nod gave her confidence.

After the plates had been cleared, the conversation turned to country club gossip, and Rin, bored, began to twirl and imagine she was a ballerina.

"I spoke with Sesshoumaru earlier this morning," Mrs. Taisho said with an amused smile. Though she adored her boys, she had always wanted a girl, and Rin's graceful antics granted years of wish fulfillment. "He told me that he is going to The Nutcracker with you tonight."

Rin nodded as she teetered dizzily. "Sango was supposed to go with us, but she's tired all the time, so my Uncle is going instead. I'm gonna wear my Sugar Plum Fairy dress."

Kagura, seated nearby with her mother, watched with increasing worry. She didn't feel threatened by Kagome Higurashi _per se_. She was, after all, prettier, had a better body, was more accomplished and successful, came from a good family, and was certainly more refined. But the skinny bitch had one path to Sesshoumaru that she didn't—the niece. Kagura decided to take matters into her own hands; waiting could prove a fatal misstep. With a syrupy-sweet smile on her face, she leaned down next to Rin. "Hello, Rin. My name is Kagura. I'm a special friend of your uncle. How would you like to go shopping with me someday? Or tea? I am sure we could be best friends."

"Uhmm…" Rin didn't know how to answer. She had the distinct impression that Kagura didn't like children and she had other reasons for asking.

"Rose, darling," Mrs. Hideoshi said too loudly to be anything other than a remark the entire room was meant to hear, "I think your son has finally come around. He and Kagura had dinner this week at Portobella."

"Oh really?" Mrs. Taisho was surprised. She wanted nothing more than to see Sesshoumaru settled and happy, but she if had to pick one of the two young women in the room to have captured his interest, it wasn't Kagura.

"Yes," Kagura said coyly. "And we have plans for next week as well. Under the excuse of work, of course, but I think we all know his true intent."

"Two dates with Sesshoumaru Taisho?" one of the guests giggled. "With his reputation, that's nearly as good as a marriage proposal."

"Kagura and I thought," Mrs. Hideoshi said, "that perhaps it is best that she and the child begin to spend some time together. If you know what I mean."

Rin didn't understand the implication, but she knew she didn't like it. She looked at Kagome, who doing her best to pretend she hadn't heard, but Rin knew she had. Her aunt's skin was ashen, and she was swimming in a sea of anger and confusion.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru, buried beneath a pile of spreadsheets, contracts, and proposals, spent the morning reviewing the last decisions regarding the newest hotel before shifting the responsibilities off to the appropriate parties. He normally got a sense of closure from the task, a feeling of a job finished, but he was too preoccupied to gain much satisfaction. Tedious paperwork, however important, couldn't compete with thinking about Kagome. And sex with Kagome. And future sex with Kagome.

The night before was precisely what he had been craving, not just since summer, when he first noticed how attractive she truly was, not since autumn, when he realized how deeply he cared about her. For fifteen years he had dated. Rarely had any woman been more than a passing attraction; never had any relationship been serious. He was no stranger to the physical pleasures of sex, but he had never felt an intimacy with another person like he did when Kagome was in his arms…or afterward when she rested against his chest and told him she was glad he was the one she was with. He hadn't even understood how badly he wanted it—the closeness, the connection—and now that he had had a taste, he was unwilling to lose her. _She'll need immediate and frequent reinforcement_ was Sango's advice. He was looking forward to dinner and the ballet with Rin, but in his opinion that night, alone with Kagome, Rin safely fast asleep in her bed, couldn't come fast enough.

He picked up the list of recent commercial real estate closings, but within minutes found himself staring out the window thinking about soft black hair and long legs. "Dammit," he muttered. This level of distraction was both uncharacteristic and frustrating. Deciding to call it a day, he left to go to the dojo. Distractions were dangerous there, and he hoped that perhaps physical exertion would clear his mind and finally allow him to focus. He hoped he wouldn't end up battered and bruised.

Hours later Sesshoumaru, after a long, demanding afternoon of sparring with his Sensei, had bathed and changed. He barely managed to knock on the guest house door, when Rin opened it and flew into his arms. She was wearing the dress from Thanksgiving and her hair was a swarm of curls.

She gave him a peck on the cheek. "See my hair? If you pull one of the curls, it bounces back." Rin stretched a black spiral out, then let it spring back into shape, adding a 'boing' sound effect.

He laughed softly. "Very stylish."

"Rin Rin," Kagome said, entering the room, "your grandmother wanted to take a picture of you in full night-on-the-town regalia. Why don't you run over there for a few minutes, then we'll leave." She helped Rin on with her winter coat and mittens and watched through the leaded glass panels in the door as she scampered down the path to the big house. Once satisfied that she had made it safely, Kagome turned to face Sesshoumaru.

She was dressed in a burgundy cocktail dress with a strapless beaded top that brought out the rich color of her hair. He couldn't wait to get it off her. "Do we have time?" he asked rakishly, closing the distance between them.

"Woah." Kagome took a step back. "Keep it in your pants, Romeo. We need to talk."

He knew then that he had been mistaken. She had sent Rin to his mother so they could be alone, but not for a quickie. The realization, after spending the majority of the day fantasizing about her, was a bucket of cold water dumped on his head. She was already regretting what had happened between them and the rejection stung, making him instantly defensive. "So talk."

His curt reply concerned Kagome; the preemptive conversation she thought was such a good idea was being derailed. "Sesshoumaru, I really didn't want to make a big deal about this." She sighed sadly. "But after thinkng on it all day, I just want to get it out into the open and avoid any awkwardness when we should be out with Rin having fun."

"I don't know what there is to discuss," he said dryly. "You regret what we did last night and no longer wish to—"

"Wait," she interrupted, narrowing her eyes. "Don't make assumptions about how I feel. I enjoyed the hell out of last night, and I'm not at all saying I wouldn't welcome further…encounters. But I went to your mother's brunch this morning and Kagura was there."

He was glad it seemed that perhaps she wasn't shutting the door on him, but had no idea what Kagura had to do with anything. "Kagome—"

"I know having sex once doesn't give me any claim to you, and I certainly am not looking for a serious relationship after not having dated for almost two years. In fact…it would almost be better if you were seeing other people too," she said thoughtfully. "Regardless. I'm not the clingy, possessive type and you should know from reading my column that I don't approve of mind games and I'm big on communication. I swear I'm not expecting or even asking for monogamy, just honesty. That said…I am not interested in being the third corner of a romantic triangle that involves Kagura."

"What?"

"I know you two are dating. She and her mother very generously gave all the details of your dinner the other night." At the restaurant you were going to take me to, she added in her head. "Everything from the bottle of wine you shared, to how close you sat together, to how cute you were when you talked about Rin. And how excited she is for your upcoming plans."

"_What_? Kagome, there's a misund—"

She ignored his increasing confusion and plowed on. "It's not that I'm jealous of her. Okay, I _am_," she admitted. "Maybe not jealous as much as _what the fuck_. I mean, Sesshoumaru, you could have anyone. I know she's gorgeous and all, but hot damn, I don't know if I've ever met anyone who is that fake, mean, and generally unhappy." She held up her hand to silence his protest. "Sorry to be so blunt. Anyway…I don't want to stop seeing you, and I know no matter what we'll stay friends, at the very least because of Rin. As I said, I'm not demanding exclusive rights to you because we screwed one time. Nor am I attempting to dictate whom you can and cannot see. But I _am_ asking for honesty, and I'm honestly telling you that Kagura scares the shit out of me. She's not the kind who is interested in sharing her toys. In fact, I'm reasonably certain she's obsessed with you."

Sesshoumaru knew better at this point than to do more than patiently wait for her diatribe to play out and the opportunity to correct her mistaken impression.

"I like you…a lot. And I am also very careful of my emotions right now and that level of drama in my life wouldn't be healthy. I trust you. I do. And it's not like I'm some kind of wimp," she added quickly. "But I'm not looking for trouble either." Kagome sighed with the relief of letting out her pent-up misgivings, then remembered something else. "Oh…another thing. She thinks Rin is a convenient little way to get closer to you. I'll be damned if I'm going to give that entitled, vindictive woman unfettered access to my niece. Just saying."

"Finished?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

Kagome nodded.

"Are you ready to hear me out?"

"Yes."

"And are you willing to believe what I tell you?" He took a step closer.

"Of course…if it's believable." She took a step back.

"Kagura is a family friend and my father's corporate counsel. I've mentioned this before."

"Yeah. A couple months ago. Circumstances change, as last night should illustrate quite clearly."

"We were merely discussing work matters outside the office. Because of scheduling difficulties, dinner was the only available option."

"Oh right," she challenged, "at Portobella, 'cause with the dim lights and romantic music, it's just like the cigar room at the country club or the golf course."

He shook his head and took another predatory step forward. "It was strictly business."

"Well the way they were talking today, it sounds like planning your engagement party is just around the corner." She took a step back, but felt the wall against her back.

"Kagome, I promise you, there is nothing between me and Kagura. There never was. You say you trust me…I don't know what more I can do to convince you." He lifted her hair from her neck and gently caressed the smooth, warm skin. "And by the way I'm not interested in dating anyone. Other than you."

As his mouth covered hers and her arm encircled his shoulders, Kagome idly decided that she liked his method of persuasion. He and Kagura were only friends. The dozens of requests for clarification she meant to direct at him were cast away, but a part of her mind knew they couldn't spend the next half an hour in seclusion. They had a little girl to collect. "We'd better go," she said breathlessly, pulling back.

He reluctantly released her. "Only if we can resume later."

"Promise." She winked at him and grabbed her coat. "Can I ask you something? Did I fall asleep on you last night?" Kagome locked the front door, and they walked toward the big house.

"For a few minutes. I had to be up early this morning, so I left when it became apparent you were out."

Kagome felt her face get hot despite the cold air; something had been at the back of her mind, gnawing like a rodent. "I didn't drool on you, did I?"

He tried, without success, not to laugh. "Not telling."

XxXxX

Rin, perched on a mound of winter coats, craned her neck to see around the person seated in front of her. The view was still primarily blocked. "Can I stand up in my seat?"

"Rin, come here." Sesshoumaru pulled her into his lap. "Is that better?"

Rin was now up considerably higher and the view was amazing. She could see the whole stage and even the heads of some of the musicians in the orchestra pit. She nodded and hugged him tightly. "Can I stay here the whole time?" she asked softly.

Sesshoumaru looked into Rin's pretty gold eyes. He reminded himself not to be a pushover. "As long as you sit still you can stay here."

Kagome chuckled. Rin's inability to sit still when excited was legendary. "To be fair, you should give her fifteen minutes into the first act before you evict her." Kagome traded places with the coats so she was sitting next to them. "Thanks for coming with us. I'm glad you were available."

"I'm thankful you had an extra ticket."

"Yeah…Sango hated to bow out, but she said if she's sitting she can't stay awake for more than thirty minutes at a time. Especially in the evening." She smiled sadly. "It's kind of melancholy for me. Sango, Kikyou, and I went together to The Nutcracker every year. The first time was seven years ago, when we three girls dragged Miroku and Inuyasha out for dinner and some culture." She laughed at the memory and, aware of Rin's presence, left out the part where she and Inuyasha got stoned in the car beforehand. "Inuyasha started getting heavy eyes before Herr Drosselmeyer even made an appearance. You have to admit…the first act is a little slow. Anyway, Kikyou kept poking him so he'd stay awake…which was fine until he realized that Sango let Miroku totally fall asleep and he was actually snoring a little. So Inuyasha said, more loudly than he intended, 'how come he gets to sleep and I don't?' and a bunch of people around us shushed him." She looked at Rin, who was mesmerized; this story was one she'd never heard. "My sister had this icy look that could strike fear into anyone, and she let Inuyasha have it. He managed to stay awake after that out of sheer terror, but was no more interested in the dancers than he had been at the beginning. So he started ripping up his program and throwing the little wads of paper at Miroku. It was decided unanimously at the intermission that the boys would spend the remainder of the performance at a nearby bar and from that point on the ballet was Girls' Night Out. And Inuyasha and Miroku made it their night to stay in and play poker and watch _Fight Club_."

"What's _Fight Club_?" Rin asked.

"At the risk of talking about Fight Club…it's a movie about men. Being men. Or something." Kagome couldn't imagine discussing _Fight Club_, one of Inuyasha's favorites, with Sesshoumaru, someone she was quite positive had never seen it, much less with a child. "Let's just say it's very different than the ballet."

The house lights dimmed, and Rin began to squirm. Sesshoumaru adjusted his hold on his niece and reached for Kagome's hand. A moment later the conductor raised her baton and the strings began to play the first familiar notes.

XxXxX

Kagome smoothed the fading curls from Rin's brow as the child struggled against droopy eyes. Staying was a habit that neither of them had been particularly eager to let go. Kagome knew Rin, once she had been properly kissed and tucked in, was capable of falling asleep on her own, and when she very busy, their bedtime ritual was necessarily brief. Something about staying there, watching the impishness of the child's features change into a picture of peace and innocence as she sang lullabies and told stories, often kept her from leaving.

That night Kagome was in no hurry to leave her niece.

When they had returned from the ballet, Sesshoumaru kissed Rin goodnight and said he needed to respond to a few important emails he had received during their evening out and went into the mansion. Kagome, sitting on the edge of Rin's bed and humming softly, grew increasingly agitated. She and Sesshoumaru had found themselves alone together in the guest house after Rin had gone to bed many times, but the reason he was there in the first place was always the same—because of their niece. Now there was no convenient excuse for him to be there and them to be alone together. If he did come to the guest house, it would be for no other reason than to see Kagome, but she didn't know whether he was coming back or not, and the lack of certainty drove her crazy.

Sure…he had only said goodnight to Rin, and she had assumed, perhaps logically, since he didn't say the same to her, he would be back. She had, after all, left the front door unlocked based on that chance. But she hated the idea of waiting for him, trying to decide if she should just lock up and go to bed. He said earlier, when they were kissing, he wanted to resume the interaction. Her insecurities had her flailing, unsure if he meant that night or in general. Despite his obvious interest, she hesitated to admit the former was distinctly possible. How long should she wait? At what point would puttering around on the possibility he would show up become pathetic? Oh my fucking god, she thought, no wonder I stayed out of the dating scene for so long; this is ridiculous.

Worse than waiting, possibly in vain, was the notion of calling him to see if he planned to return. She couldn't imagine a misunderstanding that would carry more mortified embarrassment. _Oh…okay…see you around_. It would be like freshman year of college all over again. His work was important, and she was unwilling to test her place on the hierarchy.

Rin's breathing deepened, and Kagome kissed her forehead and rose. She quietly closed the bedroom door, taking care to leave it open a crack, and went to face the, in her mind, empty living room.

She need not have fretted; Sesshoumaru was sitting on the couch, petting the dog at his feet. He had opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses and lit several candles. She smiled. Not merely because he had stealth mode mastered, not merely because her doubts of his intent vanished, but also the fact that he had let himself in and looked at home carried no air of presumption; his presence, so large and solid and assured, seemed perfectly natural.

Sesshoumaru looked up and saw her, still radiant in her red dress, now with bare legs and feet. He handed her a glass of wine and motioned silently to the couch that they had so often shared. Kagome sat next to him, folding her legs under, and sipped the wine.

"Mmm…this doesn't taste like something I can afford to regularly keep in stock."

"I brought it."

"Thank you," she said, setting her glass down on the coffee table. "You're going to spoil me." She picked up the bottle and examined the label.

"You're welcome." She certainly recognized and appreciated the finer things in life, and he looked forward to providing them. Picking up her glass again, she avoided looking at him. They were at a sexually charged Square One. "Are you going to enroll Rin in ballet classes?" Safe, neutral territory was always their niece.

Kagome laughed. Rin had pirouetted and jetéd from the Art Center to the parking garage and talked nonstop about the dancers the whole ride home. "Kikyou was of the opinion that ballet was too rigid for young bodies. I'll give this little obsession a few weeks to see if it will burn out. Kids are pretty fickle about their interests…though she's still into the horse thing, so maybe her attention span is maturing." Kagome saw Sesshoumaru's use of Rin as conversation and raised him an equally easy topic of conversation. "How was work today?"

He recalled his inability to concentrate and the reasons for it and became less happy with small talk. "Unsatisfying," was the one-word answer. He reached over to the hand in her lap and stroked the sensitive skin at her inner wrist. "Have you been busy lately?"

Kagome's pulse sped up—his deft fingers touching such a small area of flesh caused a disproportionate reaction. She couldn't have pulled her hand away for any amount of money, should she have even wanted to. "Busy, but not crazy. I've got a few appointments this coming-up week, and I need to carve out a few hours where I can go to the storage shed and dig out my Christmas decorations. I always say it shouldn't take more than twenty minutes…it never works out that way. One of these days I'll be able to go in there and get what I want instead of looking through boxes and having a long, teary attack of sentimentality."

"Rin mentioned something about putting up a Christmas tree next weekend and told me about the tree you had last year. I thought you said Inuyasha was an atheist."

"Oh, he was," she said. "And he took great pleasure in celebrating a Very Merry Giftmas. Kikyou was down on the whole commercialism and materialism of the holidays, but it only took a few days of him calling her a Grinch the first year they dated that she relented and got into it along with us. We had a number of joyful, irreligious HanuSolstiChristmaKwanzaKahs together." Why should he be the only one to play? she asked herself and began to trace little circles on the palm of his hand. Her insecurities had faded away into a dim, abandoned memory, but she wasn't ready to move beyond couch flirtation. The talking and touching were far too enjoyable. "Enough about me. Why does it seem like whenever I ask you questions, _I_ end up in babble mode. Tell me something… a memory from your childhood. It can be good or bad."

He frowned. His childhood was something he didn't voluntarily think about; talking about it was even more rare. "I don't have anything interesting to share." He abandoned her hand and began to caress her collar bone in long, slow motions.

Kagome gently removed his hand and placed it back on hers. "Oh no you don't," she chided. "Spill it."

He sighed in resignation; there was a look of determination in Kagome's eye that he by now knew not to try to dismiss. The first memory that presented was one of a Christmas many years before, his last before being sent to boarding school. Sesshoumaru emptied his wine and refilled both their glasses. "The Christmas I turned nine—"

"Oh goody," she interrupted, scooting in close to enjoy the story.

He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. If he had to speak of this, he could at least soak up the nearness of her soft, inviting body. "I only wanted one thing. A yellow "The Force" lightsaber."

"Really?" Kagome leaned back and stared at him. "It's so odd to think of you as a kid at all, much less a kid who did normal kid stuff and wanted normal kid toys. Didn't they make a Pretend Property Acquisition Kit or Real-Estate-Tycoon-In-a-Box that year?"

"Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head quickly.

"Then...quiet."

Kagome saw a flash of vulnerability cross his features and, on impulse, leaned forward to kiss him, the contact briefly shocking them both. They had been carefully upping the ante, one small, delicious step at a time, but that kiss was a breach of the informal, unwritten rules. And, as they stared into each other's eyes, that kiss threatened to hijack the conversation. "I'm sorry. Don't stop." She sat back. "I'll be quiet."

Sesshoumaru sighed. This was something that he wanted to share with her, to trust her…but part of him just wanted to throw her over his shoulder, carry her to bed, and use her to force the past back into its proper, hidden place. The dark, serious eyes looking at him with such intensity convinced him to continue. "In 1983 Kenner came out with the _Return of the Jedi_ model of the lightsaber, replacing the yellow one with green to reflect the color of Luke's new weapon in the last movie. I told my father exactly which one I wanted—the discontinued yellow model, without the _Return of the Jedi_ sticker. On Christmas morning that year, opening presents, I saw the size and shape of a certain box and knew exactly what was in it. It _was_ a lightsaber, but instead of the one I asked for, he gave me the new green one. I was mildly disappointed, but immediately assumed the one I wanted wasn't available in stores anymore, and I focused on being happy to get one at all. That happiness lasted the minute and a half that it took Inuyasha to open _his_ long, narrow box."

"Oh no."

He nodded. "Inuyasha hadn't even asked for one. He wanted a plush Ewok. I tried to get him to trade, but my father stepped in." Sesshoumaru could still remember protesting the unfairness. His father thought he was giving him the better toy since it was a brand new version, and when he saw his older son's anger, he told him to stop acting like an ungrateful brat.

"So what happened?"

"I spent the majority of the next half a year with a huge chip on my shoulder, trying to get _my_ sword from Inuyasha. It was the only thing I had ever asked for, and, not only did I not get it, I had to watch my stupid little brother trying to use it."

Kagome thought she heard in the tone of his voice a hint that he was poking fun at his childhood brooding. "Did you ever get it from him?"

"No. That spring my father had started to talk about sending me to boarding school. I had other things on my mind." His voice now had a sad, serious edge.

The handful of times he spoke of growing up, Inuyasha used words like _guilt_, _blame_, and _silence_. Kagome knew he loved his family, but it had always been apparent he hadn't made it through his early years unscathed. Sesshoumaru, it seemed, was no different. "How long did it take for you to forgive your father?" She laced her fingers through his, hoping that now that he was beginning to confide in her, he wouldn't stop.

He was quiet a moment. "It was hard to stay angry when I missed him so much."

"So you've never forgiven him," she said gently.

Forgiveness…for working too much, for not fixing his mother, for sending him away, for refusing to allow him to follow his dream. "He thought he was doing the right thing."

She reached up and touched the side of his face. The flickering candlelight angled and hollowed out his serene, impassive face. His beauty and the grief in the molten gold of his eyes pulled at her soul cruelly, magnetically. "It's hard to be hurt by the people we love."

An old wound, long scabbed over, had been scratched open. Less messy than he feared it would be, but he was already eager to put the memory behind. "Kagome, I don't want your pity."

"Sympathy and empathy aren't exactly pity. And this is no more about pity than it was when you were listening to me talk about my past."

"A privileged little boy receiving the wrong toy isn't comparable to getting beaten to near death and debilitating depression."

She shook her head and moved nearer, sliding her hand to the back of his neck. "That's not the point. This is what friends do." She stopped when their faces were inches apart. "I was afraid you weren't going to come back tonight."

"I was afraid the door would be locked."

She quirked a brow. "I call bullshit. You knew damn well I would be waiting for you. And besides, I can't see you having enough patience to let a locked door be a deterrent."

He laughed and slipped his arm around her back, pulling her against him. "Kagome, you have no idea how patient I've been."

Kagome had drawn him out of his stoic shell, and instead of creating a wedge between them, they were left closer and more connected. The air of regret and sadness had evaporated, replaced by her innate playfulness. "Well then…time to reward your patience." She kissed the corner of his mouth, a swift, flirty kiss that left him no time to respond. With a rustle of silk taffeta, she was sitting in his lap, licking and nibbling her way up his neck.

The speed at which she had taken control of him and the reaction she elicited was dizzying. Sesshoumaru groaned, a throaty sound like a wild animal. The erection he had been fighting all day finally had no need to be restrained, and in an instant he felt himself grow hard against weight of her leg. There was a discernable positive side to the torturous denial, he decided, as her tongue followed the edge of his ear and her fingers made short work of the buttons on his shirt, and it was _so_ worth the prolonged frustration. There was no dinner reservation, no excited little girl, no reason to stop.

He tried to stay still and enjoy her skillful explorations, but the wait and anticipation had made him greedy. He unzipped and peeled the bodice of her dress down, playing along the furrow of her spine, tracing downward to the small of her back and sexy, subtle swell of her backside. In the dark the night before, he had been near blind, happy to simply be able to touch and taste her. Now he could finally see the rich curves and dark peaks of her breasts. The black hair that tumbled onto her shoulders. The sensual depression at the base of her throat. The graceful length of her neck. He could finally see the look of ecstasy on her face—the fluttering eyes and flush of lust coloring her cheeks—as she moaned his name.

Like she could read his mind, Kagome whispered, "I want to see too." She pushed his shirt over his shoulders and suddenly their efforts to undress increased in importance. They fumbled with a belt buckle and a stuck dress zipper, punctuated by giggles and mild curses. Soon they were surrounded by a nest of discarded clothes, a condom retrieved from a pocket and laid conspicuously on the coffee table. The urgency that had consumed them the night before was replaced by the need to be slow, to discover the other. Kagome learned that Sesshoumaru was adept at multi-tasking. He kissed her neck as his hands kneaded her breast, sweetly tormenting a nipple, and sought the hot, dripping folds between her legs. And her inability to do the same was confirmed—his long fingers teasing inside and his thumb rhythmically circling her clit left her a ragdoll making high-pitched, incoherent sounds, unable to do anything but focus on her own wickedly shattering pleasure. When she was again lucid, she kissed him fiercely and smiled. "Now you."

Sesshoumaru was amazed. Never before had he been with anyone as responsive, anyone so sure of what she wanted and so unafraid to get it. She was straddling him, slowly lowering and rising, riding the just head of his cock, and he thought he would lose his mind. He wanted to slam into her, over and over, but she pinned his arms against the back of the sofa and every time he tried to press up and into her, she bit his lower lip and scolded.

"Be still. Just let me." She kissed him and smiled again. "I know what I'm doing, you know. You're in good hands."

He gave up control; he trusted her. Gradually she lowered until every inch of him was surrounded by tight heat and wetness. Kagome stilled, then rotated her hips, rubbing her clit against him. "You feel incredible." She let go of his arms and leaned back, resting her hands on his knees, arching her back. She raised up and lowered, establishing a rhythm, slow and measured at first, then more furious.

Sesshoumaru watched as she quickened the pace, the slim curves of her breasts bouncing, the circling of her hips driving him to the brink. He'd never seen anything so sexy. She was worth every bit of waiting. She gasped and leaned forward, muffling her screams by biting his shoulder. The clenching pulse of her orgasm around his cock pushed him past the edge. He grabbed her around her waist and thrust up, shuddering until spent.

Kagome rested her forehead against his and tangled her sweaty limbs around him. "I'll say it again. You're going to spoil me."

He held her close and breathed in her scent. "You deserve to be spoiled."

She shifted so he could take care of the used condom. "I hope you won't hate me for kicking you out."

The fallout was inevitable. "I won't pretend to like it, but I understand. Rin can't know about this yet."

She nodded. "I'd love nothing more than to bring you to bed and sleep and fuck some more and sleep some more, but you can't be here in the morning. She's five. She cares about you. Very much. I hate pretending and I don't want to stop seeing you, but we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or next month. It's not fair to her."

He dressed and gathered her close to kiss her goodnight, but he couldn't help but wonder if she was more concerned about protecting Rin or, in light of her worries about him and Kagura, keeping herself distant and detached.

%%%

Thank you for reading. I do not own Inuyasha, Fight Club, or Star Wars weapons, characters, or species. Or anything I've overlooked.


	31. Serendipity

Chapter written, but in need of a final edit. Mistakes will be fixed in the morning. Thanks for your patience.

%%%

Kagome stepped around piled boxes and plastic bins and cursed herself for not keeping the storage unit more organized.

That May, when she moved Inuyasha and Kikyou's possessions, she had taken care to pack and label meticulously and arranged the boxes so those she would likely need to access weren't buried. Since then she had been making semi-regular visits to U-Store-It number 134 to retrieve specific items—Rin's birth certificate and Social Security information, Kikyou's sheet music, photo albums, cake decorating tips—and often she ended up rifling through random boxes and reminiscing, then repacking haphazardly. The result was that currently the place was chaos and nothing was where she thought it would be.

"Finally." She found the main object of her search, two large storage bins labeled Winter Holiday in Kikyou's neat lettering, along the wall opposite the door. A quick check showed lights and a tree skirt in one and ornaments, stockings, and various other seasonal items in the other. Kagome resisted the urge to dig. She had to pick Rin up from school in less than an hour, so her time there had to be carefully spent, and the Christmas paraphernalia could certainly wait until she and Rin were home.

"I really should try to tidy this mess."

After twenty minutes, she had fixed the tape on a few boxes, straightened a mattress and bikes that had slumped, cleared a path to the door, and found other boxes of interest. Proud that she accomplished something productive, she decided she had a generous ten minutes to indulge in exploration. Next to the Christmas bins were several large boxes containing relics from Kikyou and Kagome's childhoods and things that had belonged to their parents. School drawings; report cards; old family photos; marching band memorabilia. Kagome knew better than to consider opening any of those boxes. They were the definition of a timesink...and an emotional one at that.

An old blue metal footlocker caught her eye. It was Inuyasha's and attracted Kagome like a moth to a flame. Inuyasha, Kagome knew, wasn't overly sentimental, and the objects within were probably a mixture of mementos and borderline trash, but it was a perfect way to spend the next ten minutes. She opened the lid carefully, bracing for the gut-punch reaction of seeing her best friend's personal belongings, the things he deemed worth keeping.

The top layer was fairly recent. There were concert and music festival ticket stubs, souvenir flyers from past zombie walks, a photograph of toddler Rin wearing his Misfits t-shirt like a dress. She continued to look, digging deeper, traveling further into the past. Mardi Gras beads; beer coasters; poker chips. Graduation tassel; three postcards from her; a bundle of letters from Kikyou. She felt like she was reading a wordless history text. Under the stuff she recognized as being from the last decade were things that she assumed were from his high school years. More concert ticket stubs; two backstage passes; a dirty baseball; a yearbook. Then she found an old manila folder. She took it out to add to the cabinet where all Inuyasha's legal and business papers were filed and saw, there at the bottom, bent slightly in order to fit, was a yellow lightsaber.

Kagome gasped, knowing she wouldn't have even given it a second thought without having heard the history. Her fingers itched to pull it out, but instead she closed the lid. Inuyasha had hung onto it for twenty three years, and she wasn't sure that he'd want it removed. She sighed, wishing he had told her his version of the story, if he even remembered. It was doubtful that he had known how much his brother had been hurt over that Christmas so long ago.

She got up and looked in the folder to see if its contents were things she could add to an already existing file, then realized they were almost all magazine and newspaper clippings…and they were all about Sesshoumaru. There was the program from his graduation from prep school. "Why am I not surprised," Kagome said aloud when she read he was the valedictorian. She found a clipping about a fencing competition he won; several about academic awards he had received; another about a piano competition he had won. There was a Congratulations Graduate card. _Inuyasha_, it read inside, _I won't make it to your ceremony. Mom told me you were accepted into university. I'm proud of you. S_. There were articles about Taisho, Inc. making an imprint on urban real estate and a dozen on the revitalization of the downtown business district. Four different magazine articles had the same title—_Top Thirty Under Thirty—_with Sesshoumaru in the number one spot. The final article made Kagome wince. It was from the local newspaper's Style section and titled _The City's Most Eligible Bachelors—Who They Are and How You Can Nab One_. She recognized Inuyasha's scrawl at the top. _Hahaha! Note to self—tease the living shit out of brother dear ASAP_. Kagome grinned, and her eyes filled with tears. "Inuyasha," she whispered. "I miss you so much." He had stayed involved in his older brother's life, an observer, a fan, an annoyance, albeit often from a distance. Suddenly it seemed okay, like she had permission, to take the lightsaber from its hiding place.

She quickly retrieved the toy, full of dings and dents but still in decent condition, an obviously well-loved, carefully preserved piece of his childhood. She put it and the manila folder at the top of one of the Christmas storage bins.

Once the car was loaded, she glanced around before turning off the lights. The place had become a sanctuary of sorts, with so many other treasures to be mined. The storage shed was a ten-by-fifteen foot museum of her life, inhabited by living, talking ghosts.

XxXxX

Sango stifled a yawn as she finished up paperwork. She had twenty minutes before her last client of the day, then she would pack up early and go to her first prenatal yoga class. The shock had worn off, and the reality of her pregnancy, thus far made notable by a preoccupation with thoughts of her own mother and a husband with a permanent grin on his face, had set in. The warm fuzzies were also accompanied by frequent trips to the toilet, queasiness, and fatigue. Sango read that those irritations were common and would likely ease in a few weeks, but she remembered Kikyou talking about how important yoga was to maintaining her energy level. Sango had always been athletic, and she looked forward to staying active.

"Ms. Mori," the receptionist said over the intercom, "Kagome Higurashi is here. I sent her up."

"Thanks, Angela." She and Kagome had barely talked since she called her the day after Thanksgiving, exploding with the news that Sesshoumaru had kissed her. Sango had listened patiently, biting the I Told You So response in favor of simply basking in Kagome's reaction. She called the kiss 'swoon worthy' and, more importantly, said she hoped they would have an opportunity to do it again. Sango had heard nothing from her friend in almost a week, and the metaphorical cup that held her curiosity was near full.

Kagome knocked lightly and breezed in. "Hey, Momma! I come bearing gifts." She opened her yellow backpack and pulled out several books. "I was at the storage shed yesterday to get our holiday shit and grabbed Kikyou's pregnancy and childbirth books. I'll get her maternity clothes the next time I'm there. You won't need them for a few months."

Sango picked up the top book. "_Active Birth_," she read, "_The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally_."

"Kikyou said that one helped a lot, but if I were you, start with the Henci Goer book. She addresses a lot of issues having to do with choosing a caregiver and place of birth. Simkin and Kitzinger are indispensible for general knowledge, and the Barbara Harper book is a great resource if you're thinking about a water birth."

Sango stared at the stack. "Thanks for bringing them." She flipped through the pages and found a photograph of a woman with a baby half-in, half-out. It was mesmerizing and amazing and scary as hell. She snapped the book shut. "That's…a little overwhelming," she said, voice slightly higher-pitched than usual. "Good thing I have months to get used to it all."

Kagome nodded sympathetically. "How are you feeling? Still tired?"

"Yeah, but I've given up trying to fight it. Coffee makes me ill, so I just sleep when I need to." A playful smile toyed with the corners of her mouth. "It's been kinda nice, actually."

Kagome sat down on the couch, a wide grin on her face. "Do tell."

"Our habit had been, after dinner, to go for a walk or watch a movie or, if we felt motivated, get a bit of work done on the house. Dinner is the one meal that I've not had any problem eating, but afterward I can't keep my eyes open for anything. So I go to lie down for a few minutes, and I wake up an hour later with my loving husband curled up behind me, stroking my hair. Yesterday after work he went to our Bikram class, which literally makes me puke now…I found out the hard way…and when he got back he lit a bunch of candles in the bedroom and waited for me to wake. Then he gave me the best, most erotic massage ever." She sighed, remembering his warm, capable hands rubbing sleep from her muscles and kindling a lust she hadn't felt in weeks. "Miroku's always been affectionate, more than I've ever been. Now he's so calm and attentive. I swear I've never seen him this happy. It makes the nausea bearable."

Kagome crossed the room and gave Sango a long hug. "You deserve all your happiness. Both of you."

Sango hugged her back, wondering when Kagome would let herself have her turn, if not at marital bliss, then at least at a chance for romance. The kiss was a step in the right direction. "Sorry I cancelled on the Nutcracker. Did you find someone else to take my ticket?" She had hoped that Kagome would have asked the handsome man next door.

Kagome took a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and flopped back on the couch. "The Nutcracker was awesome. The new danseur noble is fucking hot, and the costume and set redesigns were gorgeous. Rin squeed through the whole thing, and yeah…Sesshoumaru came with us."

"Any more kissing?" she asked as casually as she could. The curiosity cup was overflowing.

"A lot more kissing." Kagome couldn't meet her gaze. "Okay…we had sex."

This was exactly what Sango wanted to hear—Kagome was crawling out from under her shell—that it was with Sesshoumaru was even better. "_Finally_! Let me guess. After the Nutcracker?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes. Sango seemed to be enjoying this far too much. "Oh, so there was design on your part when you told me you were too tired? Was bailing on the Nutcracker some kind of bizarre attempt at long-distance pimping?"

"Quit being paranoid," Sango scoffed. "I assure you I didn't fake exhaustion to get you two together. Now give me some details."

"Yes, Nosy McNoserman, we had sex after the ballet," Kagome laughed. After sitting on this information for so long, it felt good to share. "Actually that was the second time. This first was the night before, after a near-tragedy at the mall."

"Wait. That was a week ago? Why am I just hearing this now?"

For days, guilt had been nibbling at Kagome for not calling Sango right away to tell her. There weren't secrets between them, and at times, because of Sango's therapist background and understanding about depression, Kagome felt she could confide in Sango more honestly than with any of her other friends. But there was a sharp anxiety about her new relationship with Sesshoumaru, and she had needed to keep it quiet for a few days, hugged close and protected, like a scared animal. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just wanted to wait before saying it out loud. There was a real possibility that we were only having a weekend fling. I didn't want to call you on Sunday and gush about how great it was, then have to call you on Tuesday and cry that it was already over and done. I wanted to wait and see if it would happen again."

"Kagome, I'm sorry." It was Sango's turn to feel guilty. "You don't have to apologize. I know you have your reasons. May I assume since you are telling me now that it wasn't limited to last weekend?"

Kagome smiled deviously. "Last night was the third time. And the fourth. He emailed me yesterday, apologizing for working so much and asked about Rin. I texted him back saying she missed him and asked him over to dinner. He said he was going to be at the office late. So I said that if the light in my studio was still on when he got in, he should stop by for a few minutes."

Sango's brows rose in mock indignation. "A booty call?"

"Yes. I'm a shameless hussy."

Kagome recalled her nervousness as the night got later and later. It was well past midnight when she heard his car pull up the driveway, and she thought her heart would beat out of her chest in the two minutes it took for the front door to open. She met him in the entryway, and they didn't make it past the living room before they sunk onto the floor, hastily laying the thick throw on the hardwood and shedding clothes. They let their mouths and hands wander and explore in the dark, then he was lying back and she was stretched out above him moving slowly, moans stifled with kisses. Afterward she was relieved there was no self-consciousness, only more acceptance and easy small talk concerning Rin and work, until their idle hands needed more. She stroked him to hardness again, and they moved to the couch. When they had finally burned out their hunger, they barely spoke. Kagome was sad that it was nearly two and his departure back to the mansion was imminent. She had wanted to see him, not merely for the reassurance that he still was interested in her, but also missed his presence in her life. She wanted so badly to ask him to stay she could practically taste the words. But she couldn't risk Rin discovering them in bed the next morning. Not until she knew with more certainty that Rin wouldn't jump to conclusions about the three of them. They dressed slowly, savoring the last minutes together with long, deliberate caresses and kisses.

"You're bosom is heaving," Sango said, yanking Kagome from her lusty, melancholy reverie. "So…_good_?"

"Damn good. He is without a doubt the hottest guy with the best body I've ever been with, but shit, Sango…it's _really_ good. He doesn't have that weird male-ego I'm So Good-Looking That I Don't Have To Actually Do Anything vibe that's unfortunately common among attractive men. And better yet, he knows the location and function of the clitoris and doesn't need constant reminding." She and Sango laughed; both were aware that specific knowledge wasn't to be taken for granted. "It's more than that though," Kagome said, again becoming serious. "I care about him. And I think he cares about me. It's nice being with someone when there's an emotional connection. I'd forgotten how nice it can be. And I'm pretty comfortable knowing that we'll stay good friends no matter what happens."

"Well, I'm thrilled for you." Sango fought the urge to fist pump in triumph. "You seem really happy. Any chance of something serious?"

"Nah," she said, shaking her head. "We're just two adults having fun. He works constantly. I swear the man works twenty-three hours a day. A good thing. I'm certainly not looking for a big long term relationship. And he's not boyfriend material. From what I've been able to glean from Mrs. Taisho's bridge club, he doesn't keep to any one woman for longer than a couple dates. A legendary player apparently. We're temporary, and I'm cool with that."

"Are you sure?" Sango asked, thoroughly unconvinced. "He seemed like he was into you way more than for a few hook-ups."

"He said he wasn't interested in anyone other than me…but it's not like he'd be the first guy to tell me what he thinks I want to hear." Kagome didn't mention that he sent her flowers that morning. "And it doesn't matter. We are from totally different worlds. A relationship would never work."

Sango was disappointed Kagome was so dismissive of their future, but kept hope that she would come around. She was quite confident that Sesshoumaru thought her anything but temporary. "Your worlds seem to have collided quite well. You two have struck up a very real friendship. Why wouldn't your worlds continue to mesh?"

"Sango, the women in his social circle go for mother-daughter botox treatments. That's not who I am or ever will be."

"And are you so sure that's who he is? You were wrong about him before."

Kagome straightened and scowled. She was perfectly comfortable inhabiting Kagome Denial Land for the time being, and Sango wasn't cooperating. "I feel like this has turned into a therapy session. Are you going to bill me?"

Sango sighed. Kagome was opening up and taking chances at her speed, and she knew better that to push. "I'll give you the friend-rate. Dipshit," she added affectionately.

Kagome laughed—a loud, grateful laugh. Denial Land was a lonely place. "I love you, Sango."

"I love you, Kagome. Just keep your mind and options open. He's not behaved according to your expectations so far. Don't assume he won't keep surprising you."

"No assuming, merely keeping my head on and not doing the Oh My Fucking Gawd He's Perfectly Fucking Perfect thing. He's coming over tomorrow for dinner and to help with tree decorating. Rin's beside herself. I'll call you Sunday and give you a play-by-play." She noticed the time. "Oh shit. Speaking of the kid, I've got to pick her up."

"I've got a client coming any minute." They hugged and kissed. "As soon as this tired thing is past, we should go to lunch or a movie or something. I've been really introspective lately, and it's making me feel kind of isolated."

"I'd love to go to a movie." Kagome hugged Sango again, more tightly. She didn't want any distance between them. "_No Country for Old Men_ is still playing at the cheap theater."

Sango shuddered. "Maybe something a little less violent. I don't know how much blood my stomach can handle."

"I guess that means _Sweeney Todd_ is out."

Sango tilted her head thoughtfully. "We can stay in and rent something?"

"That would be great," Kagome said before planting one last wet kiss on Sango's cheek and grabbing her backpack. "We're due for a Tony Leung marathon. Gotta run. I'll call you this weekend."

Sango watched her go, glad that she had turned a corner and was enjoying herself. She hoped Kagome's assessment of Sesshoumaru's dating behavior was incorrect, that he wasn't the stereotypical commitment-shunning rich guy. She was tempted to call him and ferret out his point of view, but didn't. It wasn't her place to meddle. At least not yet.

XxXxX

Rin, insulated from the early December chill by her winter coat and woolen layers, played a one-foot counting, jumping game on the stepping stones that led from the guest house to the mansion. Her aim was to get to one hundred before she had to switch legs, but her excitement was proving to be a rather large distraction. That morning her grandmother had taken her shopping for a new swimsuit for their trip to Florida, and her grandfather had shown her on the map where they were going and talked about the beach and ocean waves. She was going to ride in a plane _and_ go to a beach in winter. And to top it off, the Christmas tree was up and her uncle was coming to decorate it with her and Kagome said it was supposed to snow that night. Rin felt like the luckiest girl alive.

Her jumping leg was starting to get tired, but before she had to decide if she wanted to continue the game, the back door of the mansion opened and a tall figure came striding out. "Uncle Sesshoumaru!" He grabbed her as she leaped at him, both familiar with the motions of their routine welcoming. She hugged him tightly. "I missed you," she whispered into his neck.

Sesshoumaru held her close for a long, precious moment. The amount of energy contained in such a petite package continued to amaze him. He knew he would never get over the impact of holding her, someone so small but so alive and full of love—his brother's daughter, now a crucial part of his life. "I missed you too." He hadn't taken her to school in two weeks and hadn't seen her at all since the Nutcracker, and her tiny body gave him immense comfort. "I'm sorry I've been at work so much. It will be different soon."

Rin loosened her hold and nodded. Kagome had told her he was busy and she wasn't allowed to pout or look sad or otherwise try to make him feel guilty. "Will you stay for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Will you stay longer than that…for a movie? Kagome said I'm old enough to watch _The Iron Giant _now."

"Yes. I'd like that."

Rin paused, her aunt's admonition echoing in her ears. "Will you read me a story and tuck me into bed?" She hoped her voice was free of any guilt-inducing overtones.

He nodded and stroked the dark hair poking out from under her stocking cap. "What are you doing outside by yourself?"

"Kagome asked me to come out here and play for a few minutes so she could say some bad words. She's frusterated."

Sesshoumaru smiled; he had grown quite fond of her innocent, childish mispronunciations. "Oh, really. Let's go inside." He carried Rin through the door and kept hold of her while he greeted the dog to keep her from getting whacked by a tail. There was a tall fir tree set up in front of the bowed window and the delectable aroma of baking bread emanated from the kitchen.

Kagome was sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by a swarm of green wires and electrical cords. She looked up with a scowl on her face. "Hi."

He almost laughed. "Are you finished swearing or do I need to cover Rin's ears?"

"It's just these…_forking lights_." She grabbed a handful and shook them in outrage. The lights blinked on and off, taunting her. "For starters it took me the better part of an hour to untangle them. I know I didn't put them away all knotted up. It's like they acquired sentience sometime over the past year and had an orgy in the storage shed. The first strand I plugged in only had a few lights that didn't come on, but when I replaced the bulbs, the whole thing quit. So I put the other bulbs back in and it worked perfectly. Every single light." She shook her head. "The second and third strands were good enough, so I didn't mess with them. The fourth only half worked, but I found a broken bulb and once it was changed out, it was fine. So I connected all four of them together, plugged them into the extension cord, and now none of the lights are coming on. And I can't figure out why," she growled through clenched teeth.

Sesshoumaru set Rin down and helped her off with her coat. "Why don't you simply throw these in the trash and buy new ones?"

She looked at him like he suggested discarding Rin. "_What_? I'm not going to throw out perfectly good lights." She turned her attention back to the perfectly good, incongruously offending objects and resumed inspecting bulbs for some tiny clue that would be the solution to her problem. "They worked last year. Besides, buying new ones would mean admitting defeat."

Sesshoumaru and Rin looked at each other; they knew not to interfere with Kagome when her mind was made up, even if it meant watching her implode.

"Wanna see the pictures I drew today?"

They sat together, and Rin showed him pictures of horses and unicorns, sand castles and sailboats. Sesshoumaru was impressed by her developing sense of proportion and use of color and detail. "Is that you swimming in the ocean?"

She nodded with enthusiasm. "That's my new swimsuit. It's got polka dots." She pulled out a picture of a tall white-haired man and a small dark-haired girl holding sticks and surrounded by green grass and what appeared to be floating triangles. "Grandfather said he would take me golfing too."

Sesshoumaru recognized the golf clubs and putting green flags and laughed to himself. The old man was a junkie going through golf withdrawal. He and Inuyasha had never particularly cared for the game, and now his father had a vessel to pour his love of links into. "I'm sure you three will have a nice trip."

"Will you come with us next time?"

He hadn't been to his parents' condo since the first year they owned it. Family vacations were a distant childhood memory, one that carried a certain amount of fond nostalgia, but primarily made him sad to think of how much had changed since the years when all four Taishos live together. He looked into Rin's hopeful, expectant eyes. Perhaps things could change again, he thought, then realized it had already begun. "We'll do something—"

"Son of a butt dragging…mother scratcher…sheep-eating douche balloon…" Kagome looked up at them, embarrassed that she had mumbled more loudly than she intended. "Sorry. I'm running out of spare bulbs."

Rin twirled a finger near her ear to indicate Kagome had gone crazy. "She's making words up, isn't she?"

"I don't know what she's doing," he said. "Your grandmother told me that you are making a lot of progress with hands together on the piano. She even said you are picking it up better than I did when I was your age."

Rin squirmed with happiness. She had been hoping her grandmother would tell him how proud she was of her accomplishment. "How come you don't play anymore?"

Sesshoumaru paused, thoughtful. For the past five years, he only played when he was alone. Not enrolling in Juilliard was one of the most difficult decisions he'd ever been forced to make, and he took out his guilt over abandoning his dream and his resentment toward his father by giving up playing altogether, as if he were punishing himself for not standing up to him. He instead went to Harvard and directed his efforts toward excelling academically. It wasn't until after his father's heart attack and he moved back into his parents' house to help with the family business that he considered playing again. He remembered the first time he was the only one home and was drawn to the Steinway in the music room, the piano that had been his first instrument. His hands shook—he had been afraid to learn how much he had forgotten, how bad the neglect. He sat and played a chord, ivory smooth and cool beneath his fingers, a whispered word of forgiveness. And like reunion with an old friend, he continued to play for three hours, reacquainting and reconnecting. "I still play, but don't tell anyone." He was aware of Kagome, failing at the pretense of not listening. "Maybe someday I'll show you."

Rin swallowed hard. He seemed sad, and she didn't understand why adults were so complicated, over such seemingly simple matters. "Will you listen to _me_?"

"I'd love to. I'll come home early tomorrow, and you can show me what you've learned. I know your grandmother is an excellent teacher."

"And then maybe we can play outside together?" Rin couldn't be sure if her uncle was the type who liked snow, but she knew nothing would be gained by not asking.

"Maybe."

Rin smiled—at least the answer wasn't a No. She took out more of her drawings. There was a series of pictures of Shippou and other friends from school; pictures of ballet dancers; one of her, Sesshoumaru, and Kagome building a snowman. They were frequently interrupted by Kagome and her awkward, toothless attempts at Rin-safe cursing. She was hard to ignore and drew their fascinated horror like a faux-potty-mouthed magnet.

"Pit licking…bucket muncher."

Sesshoumaru frowned; this had gone on long enough. "I'll go buy new lights."

Kagome glared at him and stuck in the last bulb. "Okay," she said, brightening. "Third time is the charm. If this doesn't work, I'll consider giving up." She plugged the extension cord into the electrical outlet, connected the lights, and plugged the end strand into the extension cord. Nothing happened. "SOCK PLUCKER! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!" She began to yank the strands apart, furious flames practically shooting from her eyes.

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru said, "have you considered the problem may be the extension cord?"

She froze. The denial of failing to notice something so obvious was tempting, but instead, tail between her legs, she grabbed a different electrical cord. She was neatly divided between wanting the lights to work and a strong abhorrence of feeling silly, and hazarded a glance at Sesshoumaru. His single raised brow and shadow of a smirk on an otherwise aloof face made her simultaneously turned on and annoyed. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" he asked. His tone of voice was colored by nonchalance, amusement, and seduction.

"Stop…_that_." Kagome bit the bullet and plugged the replacement into the wall. The lights glowed immediately, punctuating her embarrassment. "Hell's bells." Sesshoumaru rose and offered a hand to pull her up. She smiled gratefully and took it. "I was just about to think of that." She stretched up and kissed his cheek. "I'm glad you could come. Tall people are useful in tree decoration."

"So that's why I'm here? My height?" he said, teasing. "How did you get the tree in the stand anyway?"

"Jak was with me. And I helped him get the one in Inn up." She turned to Rin. "Lights, baby! We have lights!" She held her arms open, and Rin jumped up.

Rin put one arm around Kagome's neck and reached out with her other, pulling Sesshoumaru in closer. His strong arms encircled them and she felt Kagome relax and lean into him. She had not been ignorant of the weighty, significant tug between her aunt and uncle during their brief exchange about the lights. It was something that hadn't been there before, but wasn't unwanted by either. Rin didn't exactly understand it, but she knew whatever this new dynamic meant, she was happy. "Can we hang ornaments on the tree now?"

"Let's eat first," Kagome answered. "All that work to keep my vocabulary sanitized made me hungry."

Sesshoumaru laughed out loud, a sound still so infrequent in its occurrence that Rin and Kagome hugged each other harder. "Kagome, you're the model of propriety," he said, voice pointed with sarcasm. "I hope you're proud of your self-restraint."

Kagome felt his hand wander lower and caress her ass. She was holding Rin with both arms and was powerless to direct his attentions back upward. "Like you're one to talk," she chided. "Let's eat." She kissed Rin. "I promise we'll deck the halls right after clean up. Then we can put on a movie."

"Popcorn?"

"Of course." She kissed Rin again and looked up at Sesshoumaru. "You can stay?"

He didn't know if she meant for the movie or for something after. "Yes." It didn't matter; he would take whatever she gave.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru helped Rin into bed and tucked blankets around her, cocooning her in thick, warm quilts. The sun had gone down hours before, and the bedroom was chilly. "What book would you like me to read?"

Rin shrugged. "Uncle Sesshoumaru?"

"What is it?" The nightlight in the corner illumined concern in her eyes and a creased brow—enough for him to see that she was apparently bothered by something. Both Rin and Kagome cried during _The Iron Giant_ when titular character sacrificed himself to prevent a bomb from hitting the town, but at the end Rin was all smiles because it appeared he was being put together again. "Are you still sad?"

"So…the Giant came back to life even though he got blowed up? Will he find Hogarth again?"

"I am sure that they will find each other," he said with a confident nod. He couldn't stand the thought of her being sad and was grateful she only needed clarification.

She was quiet a moment. "But my Mommy and Daddy won't come back."

Sesshoumaru heaved a long, ragged sigh and wished Kagome was in the room—he had no idea what to say and she had walked this path with Rin many times. He gently peeled the covers back and picked the girl up, cuddling her and smoothing her hair. He could at least do that. Over the course of the evening the constant lifting her up to the tree, then taking turns sitting on their laps during the movie made her smell like a combination of Kagome's perfume and his shaving soap. He inhaled deeply as he tried to comfort her, taking in the scent. "Humans don't work the same way as robots," he said. He knew the statement was plainly obvious, but hoped she understood he was trying. "You still have lots of people who love you though. Rin, I know I'm not your father, but I promise to take care of you. And I won't ever leave you."

"I know." She stayed still and felt safe. "Uncle Sesshoumaru, at the end…did Hogarth's mom and Dean…did they get married?"

"I think so. The implication was that they were together."

"Are _you_ ever going to get married?"

"Uhhh…maybe someday," he stammered. "I haven't thought about it very much."

"I think you should. I think you should marry Kagome."

For the third time in three minutes she had him floundering for words. "Oh…do you?"

Rin nodded. "She's nice and she knows how to be silly. And she's good at making people feel better."

"Those are good qualities," he said, smiling softly. "But there's a lot more that goes into that decision." He sought to end the conversation; it wasn't one he was prepared to have. "Now you need to go to bed. It's late. And I don't think it will start snowing until you're asleep."

"Pfft. It's snow, not Santa."

Properly chastised by an impatient eyeroll, he tucked Rin in again and kissed her forehead, then just sat on the edge of the bed, contemplative while the child's breathing grew slower. _Marry Kagome_. He used to wonder if he would ever find anyone with whom he would want to grow old, someone who would make him forget his restlessness. But he had never dated anyone who even seemed remotely able to fill the role, and pondering unanswerable questions had never suited him. Could it be that not only she existed, but that she was nearer than he realized?

XxXxX

_Dear Scarlet, I never thought this would happen to me. It sounds like a nympho housewife's fantasy, but I swear, every word is true_.

"Oh for fuck sake. This isn't _Penthouse Letters_." Kagome startled to see Sesshoumaru standing in the doorway to the living room watching her. "Hey! Did Rin go to sleep okay? You were in there a while. I poured you a glass of wine. I hope I wasn't being too presumptive."

He sat next to her and took the glass of red wine she held out. "She had a few lingering questions about the film. She's fine." He hoped it was true. Rin fell asleep quick enough, which gave him a small amount of satisfaction. "What are you doing?" he asked, though he had a strong suspicion.

Kagome thought about shutting her laptop, but he already knew her alter ego, so she didn't see the harm. "Working on my column. I don't know what it is, but the ratio of reasonable, clearly articulated questions to idiocy has taken a hit this week. Never mind the complete fuckery." She glanced at him slyly. "Wanna hear one?"

"I won't stop you."

"Oh please. Don't act so casual, Mr. I Read Your Column Every Week." She grinned and, setting her laptop aside, kissed him. "You're really cute when you act uninterested." She cleared her throat and read.

_Dear Scarlet, I never thought this would happen to me. It sounds like a nympho housewife's fantasy, but I swear, every word is true. My husband was out of town last week and after my shower, I got a craving for pizza. I called the pizza delivery and proceeded to shave my pussy. After a half an hour there was a knock on the door. I was expecting a pimply teenager, but the man standing there was six foot five, muscular, and looked like the boy-next-door crossed with a porn star. He was so fucking hot, and I was only wearing a bath robe. It was pink and frilly and left nothing to the imagination. I brought him into my kitchen and gave him the money, but he didn't have the correct change. "You can keep the rest as a tip," I said. He put the box down on the counter and said, "I see a tip I'd rather have." I questioned him about what he meant, because I've never had sex with anyone but my husband and I'm a wee bit innocent. He showed me exactly what he meant. He gave my swollen lips a bruising kiss and pinched my nipples through the gauzy fabric. "I can't. I'm married," I said. "You know you can," he replied. He shoved his fingers up my wet cunt and before I knew what was happening I was screaming in the most intense orgasm I've ever felt. Suddenly I had a craving for cock that put my earlier craving for pizza to shame_. Yada yada yada giant schlong. Yada yada yada kitchen counter. Yada yada yada kids' bedrooms. _My husband goes out of town a lot. The sex was amazing, but the pizza wasn't that good. What should I do? Signed, Extra Cheese_.

"You can see why I'm fairly dismissive." She closed the lid and set her computer on the coffee table before he could comment. His interest in her column, after she had remained anonymous for so long, was distinctly off-putting. "Are you working tomorrow? Sunday is supposed to be a day off." Time for a change of subject.

"Yes, again. Early, again." He gathered her close and relaxed; Scarlet could wait. If he had to get up before the crack of dawn, he intended to take advantage of the current downtime. "But I think this is the last weekend of working twenty-plus hours."

"That's good news." She curled up against him. "I worry about you."

"It's been insane the past few weeks, and I apologize for not being around. I had the bright idea to advance the opening of the new hotel, and everyone was foolish enough to agree with me."

"Why? What?" She was happy that he was talking about work and genuinely curious.

"The voting on the referendum is set for mid-January. The hotel was supposed to open in February. The polling on the referendum is still running quite close, and I thought it would be a good opportunity for positive coverage if the hotel held its grand opening before that, and even better publicity for the cause if we opened the building to the public for a New Year's Eve party. We managed to get all the deadlines pushed up, permits applied for in time, and I secured the mayor's promise that this would be the official city event for the holiday."

Kagome's laugh bubbled. "You're a master of propaganda. Bribing the city with a big party to get your stupid tax passed. Brilliant."

"Glad you approve," he said sardonically. "In addition to the public party, there will be an invitation-only event in the penthouses on the upper floor. I'd like you and your friends to come. I hope you don't already have plans."

"Thanks. And no…I don't think anything is going on already." She was pleased that he wanted her to be a part of something so important, so important to his family. Then she remembered something. "Oooo I was at the storage shed the other day and guess what I found!"

"Your paddleball."

"No," she said, impressed that he mentioned her absent, long-sought crutch. "I looked for it, but I think it's gone forever. No, I found this." She reached under the couch and pulled out a yellow lightsaber. "I think he'd want you to have it." Kagome took his hand and, uncurling his fingers, placed the black base in his palm.

His breath caught in his throat, but he tried not to show how much it mattered to him. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

She sat up and brushed the hair back from his brow and kissed his vulnerable, beautiful face. "Whatever you want. Give it to Rin. Teach her some aikido kata." She laughed lightly. "She has everyone else tutoring her in something. She needs a part of you too, you know."

He was touched. He knew what Inuyasha meant to her and the trust she must have in him to give such a gift. "Rin was right about you. You are good at making people feel better."

She looked at quizzically. "Huh?"

He pulled her into his lap, so she was straddling him. "Don't worry about it, Kagome. She just gave me something to think about." He took the combs and ties from her hair, sending the black satin mass cascading onto her shoulders. "I need to be at work absurdly early tomorrow morning so I can come home and play with Rin in the snow before it gets dark. We don't have much time."

She began to unbutton his shirt, deliberately indolent. "Don't rush me," she said, calling his bluff.

He didn't.

&&&

I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own _Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally_, _No Country for Old Men_, _Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street_, _The Iron Giant, _or _Penthouse Letters_. Thank you for reading.


	32. Cinema, Baby Story, Sango to the Rescue

Hong Kong Cinema, A Baby Story, and Sango to the Rescue

Sango was happy—she felt physically better than she had in weeks and was finally out among friends. The fact that she was drinking tea instead of the fragrant mulled wine Kagome had made didn't even bother her; she was thrilled she could smell the rich spices and citrus without experiencing the urge to vomit. "Hey, hon," She said as she walked into the kitchen to see if Kagome needed any help. The We Love Tony Leung Society was meeting for the first time since before the deaths of Kikyou and Inuyasha, and Kagome was making popcorn for the large group sitting in her living room. "Can I do anything?"

Kagome measured popcorn kernels into a microwave popper. There were several large bowls lined up on the island countertop, looking like a row of ceramic baby birds with mouths open, waiting to be fed. "Thanks, babe. Could you make sure the butter on the stove doesn't scorch?" She donned oven mits, put the lid on the popper, and stuck it in the microwave. "This thing is getting hot. Making popcorn for fifteen people is no small task. I've got four batches done, three more to go."

"Thanks for doing this," Sango said. "You have no idea how much I needed some socializing."

Kagome gave Sango a long hug, happy to have a moment of privacy with her. "Well, we had been talking long enough about reviving the film club. This seemed like the perfect opportunity. I'm glad you're here though. Can we talk a minute?"

"What's up?" she asked as she refilled her tea cup.

Kagome ladled some wine from the kettle on the stove into a glass. "I got a letter yesterday. From Mason Harrison's mother."

Sango couldn't hide her gasp of surprise. This was not at all what she was expecting, though Kagome didn't seem overly distraught. "What did it say?"

"He turned his life around while in prison, addressed his anger and objectification issues, and understands how badly he messed me up. She said he respects my privacy and doesn't want to upset me, hence it was she and not he who was writing the letter. He's in the process of moving out of state to start over, and she promised he would never try to see or speak to me. She even gave me the contact information of his parole officer in this state and the new out-of-state one."

"Did you follow up? Make sure they weren't fake?"

"Hell yeah," she laughed dryly. "It's for real. I talked to both of them. He's gone."

"Kagome, that's great news!" Sango said, hugging her tightly. "You must be so relieved."

"I am," Kagome said. "There's something else she wrote that's bugging the shit out of me though." At the sound of the microwave beep, she took the popper out and poured the contents into a bowl, then repeated the process. "She said that shortly after he was released from prison, some guy started coming around, asking a bunch of personal questions about me. Questions about the assault and my sexual habits. And any other boyfriends I had that he could contact."

"What? _Who_?"

She shrugged. "Do you remember four or five years ago, that one article that came out about Arrow that portrayed me and Kikyou like she was the saint and I was the sinner? Well Drew told me last week that the guy who wrote it is now planning an unauthorized biography of Kikyou. Drew told him to fuck off, but I assume he's the one and this is part of his research…though I seriously can't fathom why digging up dirt on me is so important, even if he's still going with the Kagome Is An Evil Whore angle. Anyway…Mason's mother said he didn't tell the guy much. Not that he could. It's not like we were involved beyond him trying to kill me." She gripped her glass tightly and sipped the warmed wine. "I'm trying to put this away. He's gone from my life, and I'm glad as hell, but the idea that there's someone out there talking about me to the guy who…" She shook her head and rubbed a temple. "I just want some fucking closure. I'm alright. I really am. I just can't stand the thought of being pulled back down when everything is going so great for me right now."

Sango felt her blood heat up in anger. Why was Kagome, who never hurt anyone, the one subjected to such difficulties? "All I can say is focus on the good news. You're safe. You don't have to worry about him ever again. As far as this journalist goes…there's nothing negative that he could possibly write that anyone who knows you would believe."

"I know. It's just…the Taishos have a reputation to keep up. I would hate for some trashy, sensationalist book to reflect badly on them. And the thought of this guy finding out about my relationship with Sesshoumaru gives me the dry heaves. Not to mention how it could affect Rin."

"Don't worry about the Taishos," Sango said. "They own half the city. One stupid book would mean less than nothing to them."

Kagome responded to the beeping microwave. "Maybe." She straightened and smiled with a confidence she didn't quite feel. "I'm okay. Ready to watch a movie and forget about everything."

"Is Sesshoumaru coming tonight?"

Kagome grinned. "You're so subtle. Yes. He should be here any minute. He had a fundraising dinner for the mayor's reelection campaign tonight, but he said he'd leave early. I didn't realize how politically connected the Taishos were. I mean I knew they were rich and powerful, but they have a lot of influence. Ken remarked the other day that Sesshoumaru would probably end up seeking public office in a few years. He's at the pinnacle of his career and he's ambitious. It's the logical next step." She got the last batch into the microwave.

"Kagome, your tree is beautiful!" They turned to see Jak join them.

"Passed inspection?"

"With flying colors. Rin's little hand-made ornaments are adorable. Can I have a beer? That wine, though delicious, went straight to my head. It's Boyfriend's turn to get drunk tonight, so I need a beer and then I'll probably mooch tea from Sango so I can drive later." He sidled up to Sango and kissed her cheek.

"Just because I love you, I'll share my tea. Next time you guys can ride with us. As long as I've got to be the designated driver for the next nine months, someone may as well benefit."

"Thanks, Mommy. I can't wait for you to have a big belly." He sighed dreamily. "Miroku is already so cute the way he looks at you."

Sango bit back her retort. Though the prospect of future roundness was exciting, she dreaded the inevitable patronizing comments and people wanting to touch her abdomen. Jak would probably be one of the worst offenders.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and descended on the popcorn, only to have his hands slapped away by Kagome. "Owwww." He stopped and peered closely at the area between her neck and shoulder. "Oh, holy shit. Is that a hickey?"

Kagome pulled her shirt up to her chin. She had seen the discoloration peeking out from her collar that morning, but it was small and not that dark, and, she had hoped, not noticeable.

Jak's face broke into a devious smile. "Are you finally getting laid? Oh my _gawd_, is it _Sesshoumaru_?"

Kagome scowled at him and his glee. "Yes. He'll be here soon and if you say so much as one fucking word…"

"Don't be so paranoid, silly. It's not like I'm in middle school." Jak and Sango giggled and high-fived each other.

"Yeah, I can tell," Kagome said, rolling her eyes.

"I just need to tell Bank. I'll be discrete, I promise," he said quickly, before she could protest.

Kagome shook her head. "So much for my privacy. Just _please_ don't embarrass us."

Jak recognized that she was serious and toned the taunting down. "Honey, I would never." He put his around her shoulders. "Is he nice to you? Are you happy?"

Kagome let him play the role of concerned brother. It felt good to have someone take Inuyasha's position of vigilant protector. "I am happy." She kissed his cheek. "Now I'm going to go grab a scarf. Stay away from the popcorn!" she called as she went to her room.

XxXxX

"Alright," Kagome announced once Bank sat down. She ignored his obvious, comically sexual wink. "Everyone is present and has a beverage. As the Benevolent Dictator of the We Love Tony Leung Society, I would like to thank you all for coming tonight and welcome our guest, Sesshoumaru Taisho."

Sesshoumaru acknowledged Kagome's greeting with a polite nod.

"First, the formalities for those of you who are new. We meet bi-monthly at the homes of various members to celebrate the work of actor Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, who is, in the words of Robert de Niro, Asia's answer to Clark Gable. We have four rotating themes—Tony Wears Pretty Clothes, Tony Gets Laid, Tony Kicks the Bucket, and a random category for movies that don't tidily fit into the other three categories…Hard Boiled for example, which happens to be the movie we're screening tonight. Any volunteers for February's meeting?"

Kanna raised her hand. "I know my apartment is kind of small, but I think we could all fit."

"Kanna's it is. The theme is Tony Wears Pretty Clothes. We need three or four movies titles."

"_Hero_," Bank suggested.

"We just watched _Hero_ this spring for the Tony Kicks the Bucket theme."

"Alright…_The Magic Crane_."

Kagome frowned. "The special effects in that make me want to rip my eyeballs out, but okay. That covers the obligatory wire-fu entry. What else?"

"_Happy Together_," Jak said enthusiastically.

"The clothes aren't pretty enough. Save it for Tony Gets Laid."

"Fine," Jak groused. "You're so bossy, Kagome. Do the clothes in _In the Mood for Love_ meet your approval?"

"Perfectly. What else? We need at least one more."

"We haven't watched _Tokyo Raiders_ in a while," Sango said.

"Ooo…he does look damn fine in that. Okay that's three. We've got martial arts, serious drama, and campy action. Kanna, you choose."

"I've never seen _In the Mood for Love_."

"_Really_? Well that settles it. Mandatory viewing." She paused to see if there were any objections and, hearing none, continued. "Let me know the date, and I'll email everyone. Okay. Are we ready? And anyone who feeds the dog popcorn will get his or her ass thoroughly kicked." Kagome grabbed the remote, turned off the lights, and took her place on the sofa next to Sesshoumaru. He immediately pulled her close. She felt self-conscious at first; it had been a long time since her friends had seen her romantically connected to a man. Everyone was looking at the television screen and ignoring them, so, not fearful of imminent discovery, she relaxed against him. After a few minutes of his idly stroking her leg, she was grateful for the darkness. She blushed just imagining the teasing Jak would dish out if he caught them flirting and touching during the movie. By the end of the carnage at the tea house scene, the hem of her skirt was eased up and his hand naughtily teased her knee and inner thigh.

Kagome was all inner turmoil. The feathery touches were divine, and she didn't want him to stop, but she was unsure of the changing nature of their relationship. She felt that over the past couple of weeks, spent stealing precious minutes alone together in the midst of their busy lives and caring for Rin, they had progressed to something more than simply friends with benefits, that perhaps he was in it for more than casual sex. And strangely that progression made her feel vulnerable. The more that was one the line, the more she instinctively wanted to deny and withdraw and hide. Why are emotions such messy things, she fretted. She shooed his hand away. "Watch the movie," she whispered.

XxXxX

After the film ended and the majority of the guests had gone home, the usual suspects lingered, talking and drinking.

"I hope the body count wasn't too high for you, Sango," Kagome said as she stood and stretched. "I wasn't thinking when I picked _Hard Boiled_. Sorry."

"I'm fine," she replied. "The stylized gun violence isn't the problem as much as blood and gore. Though I think I'm ready to do something fluffy…or at least something that doesn't feature death so prominently."

Kagome thought for a moment. "There's a photographic exhibition of Second Wave American Feminists at the League of Women Voters that I've been hoping I'll find the time to see. We could go, then get dinner. There's a new vegetarian place nearby that's gotten great reviews."

"Sounds fun," Sango said.

"Sounds like poker night," Miroku blurted out. "No offense." He looked at Kouga. "You up for it?"

"Hell yeah. Bank? Jak?"

Bank nodded, but Jak said, "Unless it's strip poker, I'm not interested. I'll hang on to my money, thank you very much. Do it on a Saturday night when I'm already working at the Door."

"Suit yourself. Sesshoumaru," Miroku asked, "would you like to join us? I don't know if you have your brother's good fortune at the poker table; he pretty much took all our money on a regular basis."

Sesshoumaru was somewhat surprised at being included. "Thanks, I'd like that. Though I have nothing close to Inuyasha's luck at cards."

"Good," Kouga said. "I like that it's not a foregone conclusion I lose my cash to a Taisho. I'll bring the cigars. I've still got some Fuente Hemingways left from my brother's bachelor party."

"Nope," Sango said shaking her head resolutely. "The last time you guys smoked cigars in my house, I thought I was going to puke for four days. And I wasn't even pregnant then. You can bring chicken wings or bacon or something."

"Strippers?" Kouga said, half joking, earning himself an evil glare from Ayame. "Kidding." He kissed her affectionately. "You're all I need babe. That reminds me…we finally have a date for the wedding."

"June ninth. Mark your calendars," Ayame smiled. "It wasn't easy working around so many different schedules, but we found a date that works for everyone."

"A June bride!" Jak exclaimed. Weddings, despite high divorce rates and other hypocrisies, had always brought out the romantic in him; the fact that it was a primary source of business only increased the appeal. "You're having at least the reception at the Inn."

"Of course," Ayayme said. "We wouldn't dream of doing it anywhere else. And a garden wedding sounds beautiful."

"I'll book it tomorrow. June is already starting to fill up," Bank said, stifling a yawn. "We should get going. I'm half-sloshed, we have guests this weekend, and it's already past eleven."

The others agreed, and they said their goodbyes, loaded with innuendo and more obvious winks, leaving Sesshoumaru and Kagome alone.

As the door closed, Sesshoumaru gathered her into his arms. "I've been waiting to do this for two hours," he said before kissing her. The fundraiser he had attended was beyond boring, full of irritating, self-important sycophants currying favor. Knowing that a pleasant evening with Kagome and her friends was the reward at the end of the tedium made it bearable.

"Better?" she asked cheekily when they finally parted.

"Much. Your friends are a close-knit group." He was somewhat envious. There were a few men from prep school and university with whom he continued to exchange an occasional email, but the contact was far from personal or regular and they lived hundreds of miles away. Though most of his peers admired him, close friends had always been difficult to make.

"We are. It takes a lot to stick together after college, when people tend to grow apart. We consciously decided not to fall into that pattern. I think though…they are your friends too," she said gently. "Invitations to poker night don't go out to just anyone. For them it's a male bonding rite as important as it is juvenile."

Kagome sighed. She had kept their relationship quiet, secret…guarding it from the glaring light of outside eyes so she could process it slowly, on her own terms. Now the truth was out. Her friends knew, and he was accepted and liked by them. No longer only a part of her private, at home life, he was now interwoven with her equally important social existence. Her worlds were meshing. She knew this was a good thing and she _should_ be pleased. But instead of feeling lucky and shined upon, there was a spotlight blinding, highlighting her inadequacies. _I'm not ready for this_.

"Kagome, are you alright?" She suddenly seemed like a smaller version of herself.

"Just my usual fucked up bullshit. I've been working too much lately and am sleep deprived. Ignore me."

"I'm not going to ignore you. Do you want to talk?" Sesshoumaur didn't push. Her need to take intimacy at a careful pace deserved respect.

"No." She slid her arms around his waist and pressed her body against his, burying her face in his shoulder. "I want to forget." _I want to be a normal girl who never was stalked and beaten, who never tried to kill herself, who didn't actively sabotage her romantic life_. Kagome was aware it wasn't him; it was her own issues, her own insecurities that made her so scared and unsure. How ironic that he, inextricably bound up with those fears now, was the very thing she wanted to seek comfort in.

XxXxX

Rin and Sesshoumaru, seated together on a Louis XIV divan, stared at the misshapen red and gold object on Mrs. Taisho's antique coffee table. Somehow Kagome's Christmas gift didn't look quite like they expected. Rin had spirited Kagome's bag of decorating supplies out of the guest house after dinner, delirious with the happy secrecy of wrapping the present she and Sesshoumaru had purchased together on their way home from school that day. Unfortunately, neither had any experience in wrapping gifts. The twelve by eight by one inch box was enshrouded in a full thirty by thirty sheet of paper, held secure by an overabundance of inexpertly applied tape. It looked like a small, lumpy pillow had been wrapped by blind, mitten-wearing monkeys.

"This is why the universe created gift bags," Sesshoumaru said. He knew declining his mother's offer to help was a bad idea.

"Kagome's a peeker. It has to be wrapped up," Rin said. "Maybe it would look better with a ribbon." She dug in the bag and fished out a spool of gold raffia. She wound it around several times and, with her uncle's assistance, tied it into a big, floppy bow. "At least it hides the tape," she said with a shrug. "I think she'll like it." She added an adhesive gift tag and wrote. "To Kahg…oh…may. From Rin." She watched Sesshoumaru sign. "You have a lot of Ss in your name."

"I suppose I do," he said.

"S is my worst letter. Shippou says I'm a lucky duck 'cause my name is easy to write. Was it hard for you to learn your name?"

"I really don't remember; that was a long time ago," he answered with amusement. He was still getting used to the way the child's mind worked—her innocence and curiosity and need to make sense of the world and people around her. "Your grandmother may remember."

Rin nodded. "She remembers a lot." She climbed on his lap, a nice, safe place. "She told me a whole bunch of stories about my Daddy and you when you guys were little."

"What did she tell you?" He was not immune to his own curiosity.

Rin smiled as his arms tightened around her. "That when you took baths together you would have splashing fights and sometimes make a flood."

Sesshoumaru had vague memories of bath times past, an opportunity for his and his brother's animosity to be directed toward fun, even if it meant certain punishment for getting water everywhere. "We were a little difficult to handle at times."

Rin shook her head. "She said you were good mostly. Can _you_ tell me a story about you?" Rin, knowing her uncle wasn't the most talkative person in her acquaintance, summoned The Look. The corners of her mouth turned down and her lower lip pouted; her eyes became golden pools of hopeful melancholy.

Sesshoumaru tugged the sunken corners of her mouth up, making her laugh. "That's unnecessary." He took a deep breath and asked, "How does a story about when you were a baby sound?" Rin nodded. "When you were a couple weeks old, your parents held a party to celebrate your birth. Your grandparents were still maintaining their ridiculous silence regarding your father, so I went alone." He let himself momentarily become lost in the memory.

_It was a mid-November Saturday afternoon, and he stopped by the Welcoming Ceremony on his way to look at a piece of property that was a lynchpin in his plans of remaking the downtown business corridor. Upon entering the address on the invitation, he was immediately spotted by his brother. Inuyasha strode over, carrying a bundle swaddled in a pink and yellow blanket. _

"_Congratulations, Inuyasha."_

"_Thanks for coming," he said, a wide grin on his face. "Wanna hold your niece? For the past hour she's managed to stay asleep despite being passed among three dozen people."_

_He hesitated. The bundle looked innocuous enough, even sturdy, but he knew beneath the cotton flannel was a person who would break if held incorrectly._

"_Don't be scared. I was freaked the first time I held her. I promise, she won't fall apart. She fits right in the crook of your arm."_

_He reluctantly, awkwardly held out his arms, and Inuyasha placed his daughter in them. He wondered at how much his brother must trust him to allow him to hold something so small and precious. Once transferred, the baby seemed not so foreign. She was tiny, but solid. Her face was not much more than a rosebud of a mouth, round cheeks, and closed eyes that consisted of long, dark lashes, all crowned by an airy growth of black hair. Part human, part otherworldly creature. "She looks like her mother."_

"_Yeah. But if she wakes up, you'll see…Taisho eyes. I didn't contribute much to her looks, but I fully intend to have her get my personality." He laughed. "Sesshoumaru, I've never been as happy in my whole life as in the past two weeks. It's not like I'm really that useful. I just hang out and wait for Kikyou to need me. Rin nurses and sleeps and that's about it. I change a few diapers, which isn't as gross as I thought it would be. We take naps together…the three of us. Rin and Kikyou sleep and I lie next to them and stare. For two or three hours, I just stare at them and love them and think that I'm the luckiest bastard who's ever existed. I thought I was happy when she was pregnant and feeling the baby kick and shit…I had no clue. I was born to be this guy. This husband. This father. I'm going to be a great dad."_

_They locked eyes and so much that would never be said aloud was communicated. Through all their disagreements, they were both survivors of a highly dysfunctional household, now well along their own separate paths. He blinked to keep his eyes from tearing like Inuyasha's were. "Again. Congratulations, Inuyasha. You'll be a fine father."_

"_I know you said you are on your way somewhere. Mom and Dad really didn't want to come…"_

"_I won't apologize for them." He handed Rin back and felt that his arms seemed emptier than before he held her, that something was transferred to the child and left him. Like she had briefly tapped into an unknown part of him and quickly sealed it up._

"_I know. Just tell them she's healthy. She's a good baby. And the door is always open."_

"I got there and your father put you into my arms. I'd never held a baby before."

"I was the first baby you ever held?"

"You are the _only_ baby I've ever held. You were little and beautiful and fast asleep. I told him congratulations, and he told me how happy you made him. He said you were a good baby and you made him feel like he would be a good father. He really loved you." He understood that now-unsealed part of him. "I really love you."

Rin knew there was more to the story. Words not spoken…loss, sadness, regret. But at the heart of it all was love.

XxXxX

Kagome scowled as she wandered through the big house, looking for Rin. It was getting late and the girl needed a bath before bed, and Kagome looked forward to spending a relaxed hour with her niece, an hour not staring at fibers and a loom, at fabric and thread. Once again she was working nonstop and fearing burnout, but the extra money would be worth it in the end. Just another couple days and life would get back to normal…unfortunately that meant she would no longer have work as a refuge and would have to face her emotions.

She finally found Rin in Mrs. Taisho's sitting room, curled up on Sesshoumaru's lap like a kitten. He was stroking her hair, and they were chatting quietly. She couldn't clearly hear what was said, but every so often Sesshoumaru would respond to Rin with a low chuckle. They appeared so content and at ease with each other, so bonded; they belonged to one another. She felt like an intruder.

She cleared her throat. "Hey, baby girl, time to say goodnight."

"Awww, Kagome," Rin whined, "not yet."

"Sorry, hon," she said, walking into the room. "Tomorrow is a big day. You want to be well rested for the last day of school before winter break party, don't you?"

"I guess," Rin conceded. In truth, she had been giddy with excitement all week. Kagome had been sewing a large floor covering for the classroom that had a big, colorful circle on the outside edge made up of different animals, marking places where each kid should sit. The inside of the circle was a giant play mat with a forest scene that was actually a giant maze. She couldn't wait to give it to her teachers.

Kagome saw the present on the table and glared at Sesshoumaru. "I told you not to get me anything," she said with irritation.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at her rudeness, then noticed dark circles under her eyes and sunken cheeks. For the past several days, though his work schedule was winding down, she was now the busy one and had blown off most of his attempts to arrange lunch or a late-night rendezvous. "This is from Rin _and_ me. Are you sleeping enough?"

"Yeah, Kagome," Rin chimed in. "Don't be such a Grinch."

"Sorry," she said to Sesshoumaru. She sat next to them and pulled Rin onto her lap. "You're right. I'm sorry. That was a grouchy thing to say. My only excuse is tiredness. I've been spending late hours in the studio." She gave Rin a little hug. "Your grandparents are in the library. Why don't you go kiss them goodnight, then we can go home and you can have a bath."

Once Rin had given him a hug and left, Sesshoumaru grasped Kagome's chin, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were wide and glassy with the mania that often accompanies exhaustion. "You mentioned before that you were sleep deprived. Have you been working too much?" It was as much an accusation as a question.

"A lot, but not too much," Kagome said with a dismissive wave. She flinched away from his hand and stood. "I've had a lot of holiday deadlines. Anyway…like you're one to talk, Mr. Works Fourteen Hours A Day."

"You'll recall what happened the last time you weren't getting enough sleep. You ended up ill."

"I really don't need a lecture. I'm a big girl." The irritation was creeping back into her voice. "I finished the gift for Rin's class today, and I only have one rush-job left to finish. For one of your mother's friends. This woman found out that I had finished a piece for her neighbor and decided she needed _her_ commission before the weekend and their Christmas party. And she offered a huge bonus. Fuck if I understand these society people and their need to constantly one-up each other," she said, shaking her head. "But…dangle money in front of me and watch me dance. Thank god I started it already and only have eight or ten hours left. I'll catch up on sleep over the weekend."

Sesshoumaru frowned and did the math; she would be up most of the night. Knowing he could give her everything and she would never have to work again made her want of money as a reason for her current state seem sour and unnecessary. But she had honored his busy schedule and was entitled to the same consideration. She however was obviously not herself, and he cared too much to let her turn away. "Do you want me to give Rin her bath and put her to bed tonight? Give yourself a chance to sleep for an hour or two? I promise I would leave you be so you could get back to work." He gently brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.

His consideration and the worry etched in his face made a painful lump rise in her throat. "No. Thanks. I need to spend some time with her…and give my fine motor skills a rest. My fingers were cramping up. And I'm afraid that if I lie down, I won't get up again." She felt horrid for withdrawing, but it was best to stick with the original plan—spend some time with Rin, then get back to work. An end to the madness was in sight. "I'm sorry I'm such a downer. I'm alright. Nothing a pot of coffee can't fix." She pasted on a smile that she hoped was persuasive. "Goodnight."

Sesshoumaru watched her leave. After the emotional connection he and Rin had achieved and the things she told him, it felt wrong to simply let Kagome go. He sensed that she was trying to distance herself from him, but he attributed it to fatigue and stress from the holidays. He had waited patiently it get to this point in their relationship and was not about to let her get away from him.

XxXxX

Kagome knocked on Sango's office door and peeked in. "Hey. Your receptionist said you were in between clients."

"Come in," Sango said. "I've got an hour break."

"I found a couple more of Kikyou's pregnancy books and thought I'd bring them over on my way home." She pulled two books from her bag and set them on Sango's desk.

When Kagome stepped into the sunlight coming through the window, Sango saw that she had deep, dark circles under her eyes and an ashen skin tone. "Kagome, I'm sorry, but you look like absolute shit. How much sleep have you had?"

"None. I was up all night and most of the past three nights." She held up a hand. "Don't start. I had a five hundred dollar bonus on the line. I took Rin to school, helped with the end of the year party, hung the tapestry I completed at five fucking a.m. thankyouverymuch, went to the bank to deposit my lovely check, and now I'm going home to sleep. I don't even have to pick up Rin, so I'm set for a long afternoon nap. Then no more deadlines until after the first of the year. I may actually go to bed early tonight."

"Five hundred dollars? I don't blame you a bit," Sango laughed. "Thanks for the books. And thanks again for taking time to do the film society get-together in the midst of your busy schedule. It meant a lot to me."

"My pleasure. I needed a sanity-preserving night off. I hope you had fun."

"I had a great time. It was especially nice to see you and Sesshoumaru interact as a couple. You two are cute overload. Things are still good?"

Kagome sighed. "Things…are great. He is intelligent, caring, and has a disarming sense of humor. His oral skills are unmatched, sex is phenomenal, and afterward when I get all chatty…he _listens_ to me and even converses with me. The roll-over-and-fall-asleep male stereotype has been destroyed. I swear he was a woman in a past life." She looked at the floor. "Too bad I need to break up with him."

Sango was shocked; she had seriously believed Kagome was done with running away from a healthy love life. "Wait, _what_? Kagome? Why in the world do you need to break up with him?"

"I need to do it now, before we get more emotionally attached," she said as if it were perfectly reasonable. "Rin suspects something is up between us, and I can't have her cultivating this mythology that we are going to be a happy family of three someday. I don't want her more confused and upset than she needs to be when we move out."

Sango's confusion increased. "Why exactly would you not be a happy family of three? And what's this about moving?" This was not good news, she thought. Kagome was too calm, too certain.

Kagome nodded. "My show was successful beyond my wildest expectations, I made a lot of money this month between commissions and gallery sales, and I have work lined up well into next year. Not having to pay rent was a huge help. I've got twelve thousand dollars in my savings account, which should be a tidy sum toward a down payment of a nice, little three-bedroom condo." She set her bag down and poured herself a cup of cold coffee. "It should have been like this from the beginning. Rin and I living on our own, with the Taishos a significant part of her life. Not this fake nuclear family that we aren't." She sipped the coffee, made a face, and set it down.

Sango rose slowly. Her friend was trying to trivialize, but the slight shaking of her hands betrayed her. "Kagome…what's going on here? And don't try to bullshit me. I won't let you use Rin as an excuse."

Kagome had kept her tone casual and matter-of-fact in an attempt to disguise her true feelings, but when she realized Sango wasn't buying it, the façade began to crack. "I…Sango," she faltered. She sank into the couch and buried her face in her hands. The wall had fallen apart. "I'm falling in love with him."

Sango sat next to Kagome and gently pried the hands away. "Honey, that's a _good_ thing."

"No, Sango, it's not," Kagome insisted. "It's a fucking scary thing."

"So…you were comfortable when this was just sex, and now that it's not just sex, you're afraid?"

"In a nutshell, yes. The less you care, the less you can get hurt. I like him…_a lot_," she paused and blinked back tears. "I want to be with him, _I do_, but I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than ever feel like I did before."

Sango understood the reference. _Before_ was PTSD. "Kagome, it's okay, but that's not you anymore and you can't ignore a significant part of living forever. You're just scared."

"Hell yeah I'm scared! I am scared fucking shitless."

"Okay okay…I know you're afraid, but why this fear of him breaking up with you?" She decided to try humor to lighten the mood. "You've been dumped plenty of times. Why the unnecessary scrutiny?"

Kagome's glower was a weak, pale imitation of her trademark scowl. "Yeah, I've been dumped a lot. But only one time post-depression, and that was a guy I had only kissed a few times. This is different, and the longer I stay, the greater the chances I'm going to completely freak when he is done with me."

"Why do you think that's so inevitable? He seems as happy with you as you are with him."

"_Why_? Because I'm not good enough for him."

Sango was incredulous. "Kagome, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," she said point blank. "What brought this on?"

"Oh…my stupidity? I finished working last night and instead of getting an hour sleep, I looked at this file I found with all sorts of stuff about Sesshoumaru. Lots of articles about how he is god's gift to the state and local economy, and one was a gossip column about the women he's dated. Who their parents are, which sorority they belonged to, which charities they are on the boards of. All women who don't just fit in to that society, they embody it. One day he's going to wake up and silly, quirky, foul-mouthed Kagome isn't going to cut it. I can't do this on such unequal footing. I think I could handle a relationship with a schmo like me, but not him."

Sango took a deep breath. She hadn't seen Kagome worked up into such a frenzy of paranoia and illogic since college. "Honey, you are glossing over the fact that he isn't with any of them. He's with you. Look at Kikyou and Inuyasha. They were really happy despite the differences in upbringings."

"Inuyasha turned his back on that blue-blood lifestyle. He chose Kikyou over it. Sesshoumaru isn't Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru _is_ that lifestyle."

"I'm sorry. I don't believe you," Sango said, shaking her head. "I remember too clearly how angry you were when there was an implication that the Taishos didn't think your sister was good enough for their son. There's something else that you haven't said."

Kagome could no longer hold back the tears. "I want so badly to be healthy and normal and make a relationship work, but I'm so afraid." She grabbed a tissue from the end table and wiped her eyes. "Gahhhhhh! I'm still so fucked up about all of this. After years of feeling like I'm almost normal, I realize that I'm _not_. Normal people take chances and sometimes get hurt, but I'm too afraid. I'm practically falling apart just talking about it. It's me and my issues and my history, and I don't want to drag Sesshoumaru and Rin down with me."

Sango pulled her close and let her sob. "Have you talked to him about your insecurities?" She strongly suspected she hadn't.

"Hell no!" Kagome scoffed through her tears. "I don't want him to think I'm some clingy chick in constant need of validation or trying to push the relationship faster. I'm not like that. Or at least I used to not be. I don't even know what I am anymore. That's why I need to do this. I'm so afraid of becoming someone I don't want to be. I don't want to be someone who would try to kill herself. Not again."

Sango continued to hold her until the tears seemed to have run the course. "Sweetie. I understand your need to protect yourself. I do. You are afraid of someone you love hurting you and that hurt pushing you into a dark place. Kagome, you're afraid of something might never happen."

"I know," she whispered, "but it might. That's enough."

Sango stood up and got Kagome a glass of water. "I think you are overtired and letting your fear of fear get away from you. You've faced down harsher stuff than this before. Honey, I think also you've been through a lot this year, and falling in love wasn't something you expected. It caught you off guard. But sometimes good things come at inconvenient times. Kagome, let it happen. Don't run away from someone who obviously cares for you."

She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know."

The ambivalence gave Sango a little bit of hope. "Just don't do anything before you have a chance to catch up on sleep. I think the unknown will seem less scary when you don't look like walking death." She stroked Kagome's cheek and encouraged her to look her in the face. "And you should tell him how you feel. You at least owe him that."

Kagome pulled another tissue from the box and blew her nose. "I don't know what sleep will do. This has been eating at me for a week now. It's all I thought about last night while I was working." She smiled through the second onslaught of tears. "Thanks for listening to me though."

"Go get some sleep."

Kagome nodded and kissed her friend. As soon as the door closed and footsteps faded, Sango picked up her phone and found Sesshoumaru's number.

"Hello, Sango," the voice at the other end said.

"Sesshoumaru, the situation is desperate. Do you have a few minutes?"

&&&

I do not own Inuyasha or Hero, The Magic Crane, Happy Together, In the Mood for Love, Tokyo Raiders, Hard Boiled, or Fuente Hemingway. Thank you for reading!


	33. Transparency, Sharing Sleep, Fast Cars

Unburdened by the demands of a noisy alarm clock, Kagome woke with a delicious slowness, fading in and out of sleep for twenty minutes until her consciousness finally cleared out the cobwebs and realized something wasn't right. In addition to the usual heavy mass of dog lying across her legs, there was a dim glow coming from the other side of the bed. She blinked sleepily as the white-haired figure next to her came into focus. "Sesshoumaru? What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to wake up."

"What time is it?" She turned over and saw that it was a quarter after eight, and in her cloudy, post-nap haze briefly wondered if it was a.m. or p.m. "Shit!" She bolted upright, clutching blankets to her naked chest. "I only meant to sleep for a couple hours, not almost five. Rin—"

"Rin is fine," Sesshoumaru said. "My parents took her out to dinner and they are putting her to bed right now." He shut his laptop lid and switched on the small lamp on the bedside table. "How do you feel?"

"Groggy, but better." She slipped her tattered robe on and took a long drink from the bottle of water next to the bed. "Now, I'll reiterate. What are you doing here?"

"Sango called me this afternoon," he said simply.

Kagome's look of confusion lasted only a split second before her face morphed into an ugly shade of rage. "Fuck. Fuckfuck_fuck_. I'm going to kill her. How _dare_ she."

Sesshoumaru grabbed her arm before she was able to clamor out of bed. "Calm down. She's concerned about you."

She scowled and shook off his hand. "And what did my ex-best friend say to you?"

"Not much." That wasn't too far from the truth; Sango had been intentionally vague. She had phoned him and said that Kagome was upset. He recalled Kagome's crankiness from the evening before and responded that he knew she was overtired and not acting like herself. Sango told him that something else was going on, but refused to specify, adding a rather large hint that Kagome was planning on looking for another place to live. It was literally the last thing he had expected, especially in light of his conversation with Rin the evening before, and the news that he was sorely mistaken about the status of their relationship shook him to the core. Something had happened, and as he sat next to her while she slept, he answered emails and replayed the past week in his mind, trying to understand what had gone wrong. They had both been busy, but were able to carve out time to be together; there was no fight, no event to which he could attribute her desire to move from the guest house. He had had no indication that she was dissatisfied with their increasing intimacy. "She merely said we needed to talk."

Kagome was relieved that Sango had only betrayed her trust in a big way, not an earth-shattering, the-sky-is-falling way. She could still do this neatly. "I think we should go back to being just friends."

His face turned into a hard, practiced mask. He expected as much, but expectation didn't make the hearing easier. "I didn't know you were so unhappy."

His expression was unreadable, but there was pain in his voice, and Kagome realized she was a fool. It could never be done neatly. She felt tears, hot and fearsome, behind her eyes. "I'm not unhappy. It's…complicated," she said lamely. "At the risk of sounding like an asshole, it's not you, it's me."

He took a tiny bit of comfort in the fact that she seemed far from certain; Stubborn Kagome was not someone he wanted to deal with when the topic was ending their fledgling relationship. "You're going to have to do better than that."

Kagome knew she could simply lie. She could say that they weren't sexually compatible or that she wasn't interested in monogamy and wanted to see other people…or anything else to avoid telling him that she was choking on fear. But he deserved the truth, never mind that she doubted she could ever lie convincingly to him. "I…I'm afraid. I can't stand the thought of you hurting me."

His eyes narrowed with confusion. "Kagome, why do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

"Because you will," she said, as if it were a fact. "At some point in the future…I don't know if it's in a week or six months…you're going to realize that we had our fun, but you have stature in the community and society has expectations of you, and it's high time you played by the rules and got yourself a Trophy Wife."

The conversation was proceeding like nothing he had imagined, and her false impressions had taken him aback. "Is that what you think of me? That I'm nothing more than a conformist?"

She shook her head. "You know what I mean."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"You'll want someone you can be proud to take out to your fundraisers and charity benefit balls. Someone who is young and beautiful and has family ties and money and the right connections and doesn't swear and drink and doesn't make her own clothes and doesn't drive a mini-van disguised as a political statement and doesn't have a shameful…" She stopped and tore her gaze from his, tortured by her perceived failings. "Someone like Kagura."

Sesshoumaru stroked her cheek, encouraging her to look at him again. "I've told you, I don't know how many times, there is nothing between me and Kagura."

"Maybe not…she's just an example. I mean someone who comes pre-approved by your social circle. I don't."

"I don't care about that. I never have."

"That's my point. You _will_. Someday you will."

"Let me get this straight. You want to cease romantic and sexual contact with me and ignore what we've come to mean to each other over the past month." He paused a moment, thoughtful. "The past several months…because Kagome, you have to admit that we haven't been just purely platonic friends in a long time. You want to do this because you think I'm going to one random day decide other's opinions matter more to me than my own happiness and that the vain, shallow people I've avoided my whole life will suddenly become whom I want to tie my future to? This is what you are afraid of?"

His voice had an amused, relieved tone that annoyed her and, incongruously, also made her feel better. "Well, when you say it that way it sounds stupid. In my head it's perfectly reasonable."

He laughed softly and kissed her. "Kagome, I can't predict the future. I do know that I will want to be with you tomorrow. And the next day and the day after that. And if and when our relationship ends, it will be because we both know it has run its course, not because you don't have a trust fund." He was surprised that she even thought this way, though in retrospect, her confidence had often been at loggerheads with her self-doubts. "Don't you know how important you are? My life, before May of this year, consisted of my career, made interesting by a few pleasures, namely working out and reading your column. I thought I was satisfied, but I had no idea how hollow my existence really was until you and Rin came crashing into my life, upending it, and showing me what is truly valuable. You are nothing like those women, and I don't want you to be. I thought you understood that."

Kagome let herself be pulled into his warm, welcoming arms and rested her forehead on his shoulder. "I do. But…"

"Where did this anxiety come from?"

"I got a letter recently. It kicked awake my insecurities, and while I was up late night after night this past week, they grew and festered. I should have talked about it with you."

"What was in the letter?"

"To summarize…on the bright side, the man who beat me up will never bother me again. On the fucked-up side, some guy who has previously written about Kikyou, with me starring in the role of the slutty villainous sister, is now planning a book. Despite a few regrettable decisions, I'm not ashamed of my sexuality…but the potential bullshit in a future book and what it would mean for your family made me crazy with worry."

"I don't care about that. At all."

"But what about your parents? If we are seen in public together as a couple, the tongues of the gossip pages and blogs will quickly wag. Do they want to be connected to someone like me?"

"You need to stop thinking of yourself as that different from anyone else. You're a successful working artist who is very capably raising her orphaned niece, no small feat…hardly a social pariah."

"Oh really?" she challenged. "I can't see your parents finding out about my column and thinking it makes me well-rounded person."

"Kagome, I doubt my parents have ever picked up a copy of _The Missing Link_, much less read your column."

"I don't know whom this guy is talking to and what garbage that book will bring up about me. What about rumors of threesomes and assorted kinkiness? How much can they handle?" She leaned back and looked at him. "How much can _you_ handle?"

"I've been aware of your vibrant history for a long time; I'm not afraid of it. And Scarlet has been a source of endless fascination and speculation since I first read your column." Her pretty blush was well worth admitting his obsession with a sex-advice columnist. "Don't worry about my parents."

"They only recently stopped looking at me like I was shit on the bottom of their shoes. I don't want to get back on their bad side."

He laughed out loud. "You have a great talent for exaggeration. My parents love you."

"Maybe they love the woman who is raising their granddaughter. What about when they learn she's knocking boots with their only living son?"

"Stop being paranoid."

"It's difficult. They rejected Inuyasha because they disapproved of my sister, and they hadn't even met her. I don't want to cause problems between you and them."

"First, my parents' issues with my brother went far deeper than his relationship with your sister. Second, they've spent the past eight months…the past eight plus years eaten by regret. Don't you think they've learned anything?" His arms tightened around her. "Kagome, don't you realize what you've done for my family? It's more than simply allowing us to have access to Rin. You've given us an enormous amount of peace of mind about my brother's life and helped us heal regarding our family history and his death. My mother thinks of you as her daughter and is happier than I have ever seen her. My father acts like he is twenty years younger and is only a shade of the argumentative, domineering, surly old man he used to be. You've given me the parents I've always wanted."

Kagome shook her head and buried her face in his shoulder. "I did what I thought Inuyasha would have wanted. Now I feel like a neurotic diva."

"Will you please stop the self-deprecation?" He grasped her chin and raised her face. There was still so much vulnerability. "What can I do to prove you can trust me? Name it."

Kagome thought for a long moment before she made her request. "Play for me," she whispered.

"What?"

"Piano. I want to hear you play."

His first reaction, almost instinctive, was to refuse, to continue to keep his talent hidden. It was safe buried deep and kept only for himself. But she had already encouraged him to disinter and face painful memories; he wanted to share this with her too. "Alright," he sighed, ragged and cathartic. "Get dressed." He stood and retrieved his computer. "I'll be waiting for you in the music room."

His abrupt departure left Kagome worrying she had pushed too far, too fast. She knew he had complex feelings about his father and much of that was symbolically tied to the piano. "I fucked up," she told the uninterested dog. "He opened the door a crack to me, and I smashed through the window. I'm such a clumsy idiot." She picked up her jeans from the floor, praying he would forgive her.

XxXxX

Ten minutes later, Kagome tip-toed into the music room, feeling like a criminal. Sesshoumaru was already seated, ramrod straight, on the bench in front of the Steinway. She sat next to him. "You don't have to. I'm sorry—"

He kissed her mouth to shut her up. "I wouldn't if I didn't want to." He kissed her again, longer and less aggressively. "No one has heard me play in fifteen years. I'm glad it's you."

She smiled shyly and took a deep breath. "I promise from this point forward I will stop being a paranoid, whiny, insecure drama queen. Or at least I'll try," she added with a wink.

He quirked a brow, pleased she finally seemed to be snapping back to herself. "Glad to hear it. I prefer normal Kagome to the paranoid, whiny, insecure drama queen variety. Now go sit over there." He waved a hand at the chaise to the left. "I don't need you in my way."

"Are you mad at me?"

"You're breaking your promise."

"Sorry." Kagome fled to the chaise, stretched out, and closed her eyes. The held-breath silence seemed to last an eternity, and for a moment she thought he changed his mind. Then…sound. The serious, sonorous chord and haunting triplet brought instant recognition. "Ah, Beethoven," she sighed and let the beauty of the _Moonlight Sonata_ wash over and surround her. She didn't listen as a critic, judging the nuances of his interpretation. She listened as the receiver of a precious gift.

When she was in high school, Kagome went through phases of favorite composers, reading about their lives and the history that influenced them and listening to their music, and Beethoven was no exception. She had a particular fondness for his _Sonata Fourteen in C-Sharp Minor_ and taught herself to play the first, most well-known movement on the piano. Her father said she played with great emotion, but let her fiery nature get in the way of technical correctness. The piece, in Sesshoumaru's hands, was measured and appropriately grave, but the passion of the melody ran through like a pulse, necessary and inseparable and expertly controlled.

She couldn't imagine a more fitting piece for him to play.

XxXxX

Mr. and Mrs. Taisho, arm in arm, left Rin's bedroom after indulging her with as many stories as she wished and staying until she fell asleep. They had been planning every minute of their upcoming trip with their granddaughter with a religious fervor, meticulously mapping out trips to the beach and Disney World, fantasizing about a child's wonder at riding in an airplane and seeing the ocean for the first time. Their excitement was almost on par with that of their first Christmas spent together.

"Winter weather in Florida can be so unpredictable," Rose mused. "I'll talk to Kagome about making sure she sets aside enough clothing to deal with any possibility. At least we know that we'll be able to swim in the indoor pool in Orlando. She was so excited for her new swimsuit and…" She stopped mid-sentence, interrupted by an unexpected sound. Music, not recorded, was coming from the first floor of the house. Rose Taisho felt her breath catch, and she fumbled for her husband's hand. She hadn't heard the sound in more years than she cared to enumerate, but she knew the source—it had a familiar DNA, unique like that which gave him his white hair and his amber eyes. "He hasn't given it up," she said, astounded.

Her elder son had a rare gift. She, a musical prodigy herself and his first teacher, should know. She had been relieved and thrilled to learn that he had found a teacher with whom to continue lessons when he went to boarding school, and he demonstrated his considerable progress while home on visits. Her soul swelled with a mother's and a teacher's pride when he had been accepted to Juilliard, and likewise was crushed when he chose to attend Harvard instead. When he returned to live at home and told her that he had stopped playing, her heart broke, as though he had rejected her. And now, the sound of his playing was a balm, soothing years of her own hurt and disappointment.

Rose slipped off her heels and, pulling her husband behind, silently padded down the stairs to the music room and peered in, just as the tempo increased and the second movement began. Sesshoumaru was seated at the piano with his back to them. Kagome was reclining with her eyes shut in rapt concentration. The Taishos retreated to the corridor and listened.

After a minute, Ken gathered his wife in his arms and whispered, "I understand the significance of his playing, but I need to ask…what is going on between those two?"

Rose kept her voice quiet. "I don't know. I suspect they may be lovers…only because Sesshoumaru seems so content lately. I've had my suspicions for some time now."

"And why am I the last to know?" he asked, amused.

"You are the last to know, because you, as typical," she said half-gently, half-defiantly, "choose what you want to see."

He couldn't argue; she was, of course, correct. "Yes, I'm a blind, old fool." There was so much in his life that he willfully ignored until too late—his wife's illness, his younger son's learning disability, his elder son's desperate wish to remain at home…the fact that the real strength and happiness of his family lay with the four of them together, not isolated, and tragically it was too late for them to be made completely whole. "They make a good couple. Balance is important." He sighed and pulled her closer. "I wish I had learned that lesson thirty years ago. I could have saved us all a lot of misery." He wiped the tears from his wife's cheeks. "I'm sorry. For everything."

"I know." They had worked through a lot of feelings about their marriage and family in therapy years before, but the grief, though addressed, wasn't far beneath the surface, especially since Inuyasha's death. "There are other apologies you need to make though."

"Apologies perhaps twenty years overdue." He and Sesshoumaru had not ever discussed, or even acknowledged, the past—his sending his son away and his insistence that he pursue business instead of music were the worst sins, but hardly the only—and they existed comfortably that way, so alike in their ability to pretend and ignore. He knew though, they would eventually have to pick apart the false healing that lapsed time had brought. "I've done so much wrong by our sons."

Rose reached up to touch his beloved, melancholy face. "That little girl upstairs is our second chance. We are both righting wrongs."

The third movement, almost vehement in its energy, had them silenced again. "He is brilliant," Rose said after a minute, shaking her head in amazement. "His skill is truly masterful. I'm just so…happy he continued to play, even if he kept it secret." She couldn't be jealous that he chose Kagome, and not her, to listen.

As if he knew what she was thinking, Ken said, "I'm sure he realizes we can hear. It's not a secret anymore." He kissed her with a passion that matched the music in the background. "They deserve their privacy. Let's go to bed."

Rose didn't try to hide her smile. In the past months her husband had become more affectionate than he'd been since the early days of their marriage. "It's only nine," she teased. "I thought you had some work to do."

"Work can wait until tomorrow. You are more important."

As they walked away, holding hands and continuing to listen, Mr. Taisho said, "That woman in there…what is it about her? She's breathed life into this house."

"She's special. I think even our obstinate son is not immune."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru let the last notes echo around the room and settle like dust. The stillness that followed was a hungry void, magnifying the intensity of his playing and leaving him raw and relieved. He went to where Kagome lay, her face hidden beneath her hands. "Kagome." She startled out of her trance and stood, eyes bright with tears that slipped out as soon as she was upright.

"Did I play that poorly? I don't think I've ever made anyone cry before."

She laughed and sniffled. "I assumed you would play well…I had no idea. I don't have any pretty words yet. I can only say Thank You." Her arms circled his neck and she pressed her body against his. "Thank you."

He let her cling to him, then held her at arm's length to gauge her reaction. "Spend the night here with me." After their late nights together the past weeks, as they dressed and discussed who was acting as Rin's Taxi the next morning, he had hoped and hinted for an invitation to stay. Kagome always insisted he leave and return to the mansion, saying they needed to keep his parents and Rin unaware. Sesshoumaru knew part of her reason was fear of getting closer, but after playing, and playing _that_ piece, he felt reckless. And he didn't plan on taking No for an answer.

She paled and swallowed audibly. "You mean like I sleep here and wake up really early and sneak back to the guest house so no one hates me?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, I mean like I have the first Saturday morning in recent memory where I don't have any reason to set the damn alarm clock and I want you to sleep here and enjoy it with me."

"Are you sure? Your parents will know."

"Good. I'm done with secrecy. Go home, get ready for bed, and come back. Bring the dog with you." He would accept no excuses.

XxXxX

Kagome crept up the staircase, grateful that all the lights were off and maybe the Taishos were in bed and wouldn't hear the dog's claws clicking on the hardwood. She felt like a criminal for the second time in a little over an hour. Sesshoumaru had left his door partially open, and she entered the first room of the suite, trying to remind herself that she wasn't a trespasser. Unlike the time, she recalled with a blush, she showered there and he arrived home at a most inopportune moment.

Oberon went on a sniffing frenzy, his nose leading him from the leather sofa to the desk and finally into the bedroom proper. Sesshoumaur's voice came from the other room, murmuring something to the dog, and Kagome had no choice but to follow. There was no light coming from the bathroom, and she realized he was already in bed, waiting for her. She set her water bottle on the nightstand and heard the dog lie down with an exaggerated sigh. Betrayer, she accused silently. Not even her faithful companion would give her a convenient excuse to leave. I _want_ to stay, she told herself. _I want to stay and trust and be happy and have a normal relationship_. _I can do this_.

She quickly undressed and slid between the sheets, seeking his body for comfort against the chill. "Mmm…warm, naked man."

"Good god, your feet are cold," he said and put his arms around her. "Did you walk over here barefoot?"

"It _is_ winter," she reminded him. "I think we're supposed to get close to two inches tonight."

"All the more reason to sleep in."

Kagome scooted closer and kissed him, testing for awkwardness. They had been in bed together before, but it was after a prolonged period of foreplay or at least a needy make-out session in a different room of her house. It was a little strange to be in bed with him without being in a heightened state of arousal. A little strange, but not bad. "I like your bed," she said. "Nice firmness to the mattress. And good sheets."

"Glad you approve," he said, nuzzling her neck. Her attempts at small talk were endearing.

"I've got a thing for high thread-count, luxury sheeeeeaaaahhhh," she yawned, "sheets. Sorry. Staying up all night is the gift that keeps on giving."

Sesshoumaru lifted his face from the fragrant, tangled mess of her hair. "Roll over." Her body fit perfectly against his, back to chest, like the last, missing piece of a puzzle. "You're tired. Let's just go to sleep."

Kagome melted into his arms and sighed. She felt safe, enclosed. Prior to that night, their purpose of being in bed together was sex. This…her presence to simply share sleep with him…seemed to be a more intimate act than anything they had done up to that point.

Kagome's heart pounded in her chest. The evening had been a turning point—he had told her and demonstrated that he was not interested in the casual affair that had been her starting point. He was committed. She was free to let herself fall head-over-heels, blindly, stupidly in love and love being in love. There was nothing holding her back. And it scared her. _I want this_. _I can do this_. She repeated it in her mind, a chant as their breathing slowed and she relaxed both body and mind. "I'm trying. I'm trying not to be afraid."

"I only ask that if you are going to dump me, I want it to be because I'm acting like a jerk, not because the people whom you dated before me were jerks. And not because you are afraid I may act like a jerk in the future."

"Agreed," she said. "So don't be a jerk."

His answer was to kiss the back of her neck. They lay still, calm but not sleeping, and he loosened his hold around her. His hand strayed, tracing lines on her soft skin from neck to shoulder, down ridges of ribs, taking care not to tickle. He lingered at the hollow of her waist and the sexy rise of her hip. "For someone so slender, you have very curvy hips."

"Is that a polite way of saying I have a flat chest and a fat ass?" His sharp sigh made her instantly regret voicing her body-image insecurities.

He rose up on an elbow and turned her to look at him. "Kagome, only you could mistake pillow talk for criticism. You're beautiful."

"Sorry. I'm a little sensitive about my chest size."

"You shouldn't be." To demonstrate he kissed down the side of her neck and went lower, stopping to lavish attention on a pert nipple. "I'm more of a leg man, anyway."

She squirmed in bliss as he tormented with teeth and tongue and gradually turned his focus to the other breast. Sleep was looking less and less likely. "As long as you don't see tit fucking as an integral part of your sex life."

He remembered the man who wanted to buy her implants. "Sango told me about the breast fetishist. Clearly delusional."

Kagome froze for a long second and started to get up. "I'll be right back. I need to go kill Sango."

He laughed and grabbed her around the waist, pinning her beneath him. "You're not going anywhere. Sango was just trying to help. You should be thanking her."

She scowled at him. "You're both lucky it's not in my nature to stay angry. I suppose this is karma for me playing matchmaker for so many years." The scowl turned into a smile. "You should have seen the shit I pulled to get her and Miroku together. Remind me to tell you about it some time."

"You're a very cute hypocrite." He chose his next words with conscious deliberation. So much had been happened that night, it seemed right, a logical continuation. "I love you, Kagome."

Had she not already been lying down, Kagome was sure she would have fallen. "What did you just say?" she asked breathlessly.

"You heard me."

The entire night had been a series of fairly significant revelations and events that went far in killing her stubborn misgivings about their relationship. His statement simultaneously shocked, delighted, and scared the piss out of her. She threw caution aside and jumped, head first, into the maelstrom of emotions. "I love you too." She assumed she would immediately wish the words unsaid, but she liked the sound, the taste in her mouth. "I love you," she repeated.

"I know," he said, matter-of-fact. "Rin told me last night."

"_Oh_? And what did Rin say?"

"I asked her how you feel about me, and she said that you love me. So I asked her if you love me like you loved her father, and she said No, you love me like _her mother_ loved her father."

Kagome blinked back tears. "Clever little Rin."

"Very clever." He kissed her and she kissed back—their first official in-love kiss. "Would you mind terribly if we didn't go to sleep for a bit?" he asked, stroking her jaw and neck.

"I would be terribly disappointed if we did." She hooked a leg around his and brought him closer, threading her fingers through the long hair that curtained them. "Thank you for tonight. You play beautifully…sublimely."

"I confess I was surprised by your request," he said as he returned to tasting the shape and softness of her breasts.

"Really? What were you anticipating?"

He looked up to her face. "I thought you would have asked to drive my car." Even in the near dark he could see the surprise and glee in her wide eyes and immediately wished he hadn't said anything.

"I can drive _your_ _car_?"

His gravid pause made her teeth chatter in expectation.

"Maybe."

XxXxX

At three o' clock, the agreed-upon time, Sesshoumaru went down to the garage and saw that Kagome was already there, so visibly animated she reminded him of a wind-up toy. An extremely sexy wind-up toy. "You look like you're going to a costume party. Or a dominatrix convention."

Kagome, dressed in a drapey black mini-skirt, tall black leather boots, and a black leather trench coat, grinned. "All the world's a stage, baby, and I need to look the part. I've been smitten with this car for a year, and I'm sure as shit not going to wear jeans and a sweatshirt when I finally get the opportunity to drive it."

"Let's get this over with," he said, tossing the keys to her. He hoped he hadn't betrayed his own eagerness. That morning when he agreed to let her drive his car, her childlike enthusiasm was infectious, and her rambling about the sequential manual gearbox, engine power specs, and lowered center of gravity reminded him she already possessed knowledge and appreciation of performance automobiles. Now, her positively _not_ innocent outfit had his desire, as well as his curiosity, piqued. She certainly had been nothing but surprise after pleasant, serendipitous surprise, and he felt like he was embarking on the world's most erotic test drive.

Kagome opened the car door and slid in, setting a CD on the console. She had been inside Sesshoumaru's BMW M6 more times than she could count, but always in the passenger seat. The thought of having that much horsepower and torque at her disposal made her giddy. "I am _so_ happy," she squealed and leaned over to plant a loud, wet kiss on his cheek.

Sesshoumaru watched as she fiddled with the electronic seat controls, all three mirrors, and even adjusted the tilt of the steering wheel. "You're making me regret this already. I've got the computer settings how I want them. Just don't touch anything else."

"Relax," she said. "You told me I could drive your car; don't start being a party pooper now." She put the key in the ignition and pressed the start button, smiling in ecstasy as the engine roared to life. "So throaty," she purred. "I don't know if I've ever heard a sexier sound."

"Kagome, you've been in this car dozens of time," he said, as she backed out into the bright daylight. "You already know how it sounds."

Kagome paused to apply lipstick and donned dark sunglasses. "I know how I'm gonna _make_ it sound. I've fantasized about Launch Control—"

"No," he interrupted emphatically. "This is the first time you've driven an automobile of this caliber. Don't even think about disengaging the DSC."

Kagome stared at him, open-mouthed. "When did you turn into such a toothless old man?"

He scowled. "We aren't on the Autobahn, Kagome. The speed limit in this neighborhood is twenty-five."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to peel out. You need to trust me." She kissed him again and, after quickly wiping off the red mark, slowly cruised down the driveway, then out of the neighborhood toward the highway. "It's weird not to have a clutch. I mean I'm used to an automatic, but this is different."

"You'll get used to it quickly." When he realized she wasn't going to pretend to drag race on Arborview Drive and she was actually quite adept at using the precision shifter, he relaxed considerably.

Kagome drove up the on-ramp, merging with the other cars, and frowned. Traffic was heavy for a late Saturday afternoon. "GAH!" she screamed. "The Saturday before Christmas, I'm in my dream car, and my fast is shot down by last-minute holiday shoppers."

Sesshoumaru understood her frustration. The on-ramp nearest the Redgrave Hill neighborhood was one exit away from a burgeoning shopping area and office park, and back-ups were frequent and irritating. It was one of the reasons he left so early and came home so late. He had never had patience for sitting behind backed-up cars. "It should ease up in a mile."

She changed lanes, squeezing in between cars, and smiled at the quick acceleration. "I could never do that with the mini-van. Ah," she sighed, as the traffic cleared out, "here we go." She inserted her CD. "I spent a good hour today making this in anticipation of driving your car. Gotta have a soundtrack to go with the outfit." The acoustic guitar opening of Metallica's _Fade to Black_ filled the interior. "Hope you don't mind heavy metal. It's what Inuyasha and I would always listen to when we went driving." Kagome peered at Sesshoumaru out of the corner of her eye and was relieved to see he appeared more amused than annoyed.

"I can't have you thinking you'll need to cut up my food for me," he said sardonically. "What do you think of the car so far?"

"I think I'm in love with it. But we'll see in a few minutes if it's a mere crush or a long term thing."

She took an exit he wasn't expecting—one that led them into a predominantly rural area. The landscape was hilly and covered with a blanket of brilliant white snow, but the curvy two-lane road was clear thanks to the afternoon sun.

"Inuyasha showed me this place," Kagome said. "We used to come here a lot when he first got his MINI Cooper. That car's handling was a blast," she said, smiling with reminiscence. "We had so much fun with it."

Sesshoumaru settled back and enjoyed himself. The snowy winter scenery was beautiful, Kagome was delirious to finally be driving the car as it was meant to be driven, and he didn't even mind the music that much. It felt good to trust her and relinquish a little his vise-tight grip of control. "Try the paddle shifters."

Kagome put both hands on the steering wheel and downshifted into a sharp turn. "God! I love these!" she laughed, her expression nothing short of euphoria. "It's like an amusement park thrill ride that I get to control." She slowed down for a four-way stop that was approaching. She looked at him. "There's no one around. You know you want to let me."

He sighed and shook his head. "You know what to do?"

"Yeah…I spent hours watching videos of Launch Control on YouTube." She brought the car to a stop and deactivated the Dynamic Stability Control. "I feel like I'm about to have sex for the first time," she said, skipping the CD forward a few tracks. Once the gearbox was set, she pushed the shifter forward and pressed the accelerator pedal to the floor. Black Sabbath's _Supernaut_ blared just as the tachometer reached fifteen hundred. She released the shifter and sent them rocketing forward. She was white-knuckled with adrenalin-fueled happiness. "Shit! What a rush! Kinda like detonating a bomb to move some furniture, but damn that was fun." She was pleased to see Sesshoumaru seemed to be enjoying the ride as much as she.

A round-about path took them back to the highway, several miles farther away from the Redgrave Avenue Exit than where they left. After maneuvering around moderate traffic, Kagome spotted a half mile of open road ahead of them. She grinned widely and floored it.

Sesshoumaru watched as the needle climbed toward one hundred. "You will pay any speeding ticket you happen to incur."

"Eh," she said dismissively. "That's what Miroku's for."

"I doubt Miroku could fix a ticket for forty-five over," he laughed.

She laughed with him and slowed down as the cars in the distance ahead of them became closer. "If I even thought about going that fast in my car, it would have shaken into a thousand pieces. I supposed my carbon footprint is big enough. Time to go back to being plain old Cinderella." She took the exit and came to a stop at the red light at the bottom of the off-ramp. "Fuck. The past hour was orgasmic," she said, bosom heaving. "Better than sex."

"Gee, thanks." He didn't realize it was possible to be jealous of a car.

She looked at him with a naughty grin. "Wanna have sex in the backseat?"

XxXxX

On the top level of an empty downtown parking garage, a dark silver BMW sedan with fogged-up windows swayed imperceptibly as the late-afternoon sun descended below the city skyline, casting long, concealing shadows. The occupants inside were nearly fully clothed and sweaty, one of them trying not to let his paranoia get the best of him.

When Kagome first made her devious proposal, Sesshoumaru immediately refused. Knowing that he owned the only Stratus Gray Metallic BMW M6 in the area, discovery of them having sex in a public place in the middle of the day would have been a disaster. When she told him she wasn't wearing any underwear under her skirt, only thigh-high black stockings, his resistance began to crumble. Her hand inching up his leg and the echo of her voice calling him an old man sealed the deal. Fortunately the roof of his parking garage was deserted and the buildings were likely unoccupied on the Saturday afternoon before Christmas. Sesshoumaru had never had sex in any car, never mind this one, though he wasn't about to tell her that. Kagome seemed to know what she was doing. After stowing Rin's booster seat in the trunk and spreading out the towel that was under it, she whipped a condom out of a pocket and asked him what he was waiting for.

"Admit it," she whispered in his ear as she sank down on his length. "You find the risk of getting caught a turn-on."

"No, actually. I'm trying not to think about it at all." He threw his head back and closed his eyes to focus on the sensations of her circling hips as she rode him. "You're objectifying me, aren't you?"

"Of course not, Mr. Perfect Car. Now stop talking. Or make some kind of engine revving noise."

They laughed together, both happy to have someone to trust and confide in and joke with and love.

And screw senseless seventy feet off the ground.

XxDWSxX

I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own Disney, BMW, any Metallica songs, MINI, YouTube, or any Black Sabbath songs. If you'd like to listen to the Beethoven sonata Sesshoumaru played,I found a YouTube link of Murray Perahia playing all three movements. The video quality isn't that great, but the audio is amazing. Copy and paste, removing the spaces between the Ws. w w .com/watch?v=hjmTMgERioY This chapter does not endorse exceeding the posted speed limit. Thank you for reading. Reviews are, as always, very much appreciated.


	34. Christmas, Forgiveness, Compatibility

Equality has never been a defining feature in the relationship between children, their excitement level, and sleep. Whether the night before the first or last days of school, a birthday, Christmas, or other special day, as excitement grows, the corresponding ability to fall asleep shrinks. Logical explanations that the event in question will come more quickly "if you just go to sleep" rarely work in the face of heightened alert. Rin Higurashi-Taisho, who bolted up in bed when she realized it was finally Christmas, was no different. She had experienced this phenomenon the night before, after being tucked in by her aunt and uncle. Several reassurances of adequate cookies left for Santa and a glass of warm milk did little to ease her firm grip on wakefulness, and after she got up twice, interrupting Kagome and Sesshoumaru cleaning up after dinner and, later, watching a movie, the reassurances turned into gentle threats that Santa doesn't stop at houses with conscious children present.

The same imbalance was now in play. Rin knew it was early and she should probably try to go back to sleep. It was still dark, not that it mattered. It was always dark in the morning now, the sun only beginning to rise when she was on her way to school. No, she decided, it was time to get up and do her child duty of waking the adults for the commencement of Christmas morning and the opening of presents. Rin climbed out of bed and padded into Kagome's room. She had another purpose in addition to getting the Christmas morning ball rolling—to confirm her sneaking suspicion that Sesshoumaru had been staying overnight at their house. School had been out for four days, and Kagome was letting her sleep until she woke, and by that time, if her uncle _had_ stayed, he had already left to go to work. When she questioned Kagome about it, her aunt blushed and squirmed and hesitated, ultimately saying, "Rin, would you like to make some more Christmas cookies?"

Now was her chance. It was too dark to see much, but she felt certain Kagome had someone in bed with her in addition to the dog-shaped mound by her feet.

Oberon's thumping tail jarred them awake. Kagome buried her face in the pillow and groaned. "Nooooooo."

Sesshoumaru's head appeared over Kagome's shoulder.

Rin smiled and waved at him. His wink made her smile harder; she didn't think he even knew how to wink. "Can you guys get up now so we can open presents?"

Kagome stretched her neck to look at the digital clock. "Bunny, it's only five. We can't get your grandparents up this early. _I_ can't get up this early. Go back to bed."

The arrangement was that the five of them would spend the day together, beginning with gifts and a big breakfast. Mrs. Taisho declared that Kagome and Rin's tree had a more personal touch and their living room was cozier, and she and Mr. Taisho would be over between seven and seven-thirty. Their gifts had already been brought over and stowed under the tree; it was all settled. Kagome was touched, flattered, and plagued by nerves. The Taishos knew about her and Sesshoumaru's relationship, but she set for herself the impossible standard of perfection as Christmas host, cleaning obsessively and planning gourmet meals.

She was so nervous the night before that Sesshoumaru, much to his enjoyment, was forced to distract and calm her with a massage that, spurred by her encouraging demands, became longer and increasingly erotic.

She had relaxed under his talented hands, telling him how to touch her and trying not to think about last Saturday morning, the morning after the night she spent at the big house. She had gotten up to let the dog out, whispering entreaties to every god she could think of that no one else was up yet. Of course, her luck didn't run that way. Both Taishos and Rin were in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee cake that was baking in the oven. She felt like she was sporting a tattoo across her forehead that read _I was having sex with your son twenty minutes ago_. The inviting odor of cinnamon and coffee smelled like her own guilt, and she wished she could curl up and disappear. Mr. Taisho was the one to break the ice and put her out of her misery. "May I offer you a cup of coffee, Kagome?" he asked with an amused twinkle in his eye. Kagome didn't trust her inner poise enough to know she wouldn't turn bright red when her lover's parents came over to celebrate Christmas…especially after the things she was telling him to do to her.

"I can't," Rin said, employing The Look. "I'm awake."

Kagome sighed and glanced at Sesshoumaru, who nodded. She had warned him that the addition of Rin sometime in the wee hours was a distinct possibility. "Sweetie, if you promise to try to go to sleep, you can come in here and cuddle with us."

Rin jumped up, grinning like a maniac. Kagome and Sesshoumaru parted and made way for her to burrow beneath the covers and absorb their warmth and nearness. She loved her grandparents and looked forward to their trip, but nothing made her happier than to be ensconced between her two favorite people, replicating the feeling she had when with her Mommy and Daddy. They weren't exactly the same as her parents, but she knew they were as close as she would ever get again. The Christmas wish told to Santa had almost been achieved.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said gently when she quit wiggling, "I plan to start spending more time here from now on. Is that okay with you?"

The question was like being asked if cake and ice cream were acceptable substitutes for lunch. Kagome snorted. Rin simply nodded and smooshed her face into his chest and the soft white hair that fell over his shoulder.

"Such an affectionate head-butt," Kagome said, adjusting the quilt so Rin was covered up. "Merry Christmas, you two. I'm going back to sleep."

Sesshoumaru was used to his alarm clock going off early and didn't try to fall asleep. Instead he recalled his brother's words. _I just stare at them and love them and think that I'm the luckiest bastard who's ever existed._ He watched as Rin closed her eyes and fumbled for Kagome; he watched Kagome instinctively draw her closer, protective and comforting. Their breathing slowed and they settled back into sleep, the woman and child, so connected to each other. But rather than feel like a voyeur or intruder, he felt like he belonged…to them and with them.

_I think you should marry Kagome_.

Rin's words echoed in his mind. Perhaps I should, he thought. The idea of long-term commitment with her was appealing. A year ago, he would never have imagined spending his life with a woman like Kagome—someone so different, both in upbringing and personality—but now the thought of living without her made him extremely uncomfortable. He remembered a Scarlet column that he had read months before. _Is this face the last thing I want to see when I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I wake? Is this person so special that I want to grow old with her? _ He realized he couldn't fathom a future without her as an active, intimate participant. She was more than special; she was irreplaceable.

However, Kagome was a great unknown quantity. They had been making steady progress in their relationship and were both happy, but he feared a marriage proposal would be a giant step forward, one that she was not ready to make, one that would send her fleeing away again.

XxXxX

Kagome glided in and out of her living room, refilling coffee cups before the last few presents were opened. She was pleased with how the morning had gone.

They had been prepared when the Taishos came at twenty after seven—the tree lights were plugged in, Windham Hill Celtic Christmas music played softly in the background, and coffee was brewing. Awkwardness was kept to a minimum, largely to due Mrs. Taisho's innate graciousness and Rin's exuberance. Kagome realized they didn't disapprove of the fact that Sesshoumaru, with his untidy hair and bare feet, had obviously slept there, and with that realization she was able to relax and truly enjoy their company. The guests and the hosts made themselves comfortable, Oberon surprising everyone by lying in front of Mr. Taisho and resting his huge canine head on the man's foot. As the morning played out it became more familiar, like the family Christmas Kagome recognized…minus Inuyasha and Kikyou, but warm, friendly, and full of cheer.

Rin had the biggest pile of gifts, receiving the expected trove of toys, books, doll clothes, art supplies. Oddly, the dog had the second largest quantity—bones, squeaky toys, a huge new dog bed from the Taishos so, it was explained, when Kagome wasn't home, he could spend more time at the big house.

"No point in him being all alone," Mr. Taisho said. It seemed to Kagome that the dog and the older man adored each other, and she wickedly thought of getting Mr. Taisho an _I Love My Granddog_ t-shirt.

Kagome had given the Taishos two framed photographs. One was a color print of Inuyasha and Kikyou sipping champagne at their wedding and one was a black and white of Inuyasha and infant Rin napping together. She hadn't originally intended to include the first, but after spending time with Mrs. Taisho, she understood they had no resentments, only genuine regret and curiosity about her sister, and they would welcome a picture of their son with his wife on their wedding day. They had given her a Coach patchwork bag with nickel hardware that made her swoon. It was a beautiful piece, and her thanks were heartfelt. Sesshoumaru gave his father cufflinks and his mother earrings, both topaz, Rin's birthstone, set in platinum. From his parents he received a leather gym bag and a two-seat spring season subscription to the opera.

"Well, we're almost done," Kagome said, looking playfully at Sesshoumaru. "I have one more gift and it's for you."

"Can me and Uncle Sesshoumaru give you ours first?" Rin, sitting on her uncle's lap, asked.

Kagome accepted the lumpy flat box, eying it with a raised brow. "It's the wrong size to be a replacement robe…"

Sesshoumaru laughed softly. He had taunted her the past few mornings that her tacky robe needed to die a quick, painless death. "You don't know how much I wanted to."

She smiled and tore open the paper. "A paddleball!" she squealed. "Yomega eXtreme! Oh my god…you guys are the best!"

Sesshoumaru and Rin looked at each other and grinned. "Let's see a demonstration of these skills you purportedly have," he said.

Kagome gathered her dignity and stood. "I haven't done this in at least a year, so I may be rusty." She started tapping the ball, gained confidence, and quickly began doing tricks—direction changes, switching of hands, behind her back. "Admit it," she said. "I rule."

"Let me try!" Rin said, running to join the fun.

Kagome positioned her hand and showed her how to flick her wrist, but Rin scowled at her lack of quick success. It was definitely harder than it looked. "Takes a lot of practice, honey," she said. She knew Rin had to be getting hungry and hoped to avoid a meltdown brought on by the tragic combination of an empty belly and frustration. "Would you like to give your Uncle his gift from us?"

Rin abandoned the toy without a thought and got the last present from under the tree. It was wrapped neatly, the size of a large shoe box.

"It isn't a robe, is it?" Sesshoumaru asked as he wrapped the box. Kagome had accused him of having an unconscionable lack of dogs playing poker and dogs playing pool in his wardrobe and hinted she had done something about it.

Kagome looked away with as much feigned nonchalance as she could muster, secretly watching his face to see his reaction.

Inside the box was a twill-weave wool scarf, dark gray with a subtle pattern of gold running through. "Did you make this?"

Kagome nodded. "Hand-spun and hand-woven. Do you like it?" she asked anxiously. "Rin helped me choose the colors."

He lifted the scarf from the box and fingered the fibers, luxuriously soft and smooth. It was perfect. "Very much. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I noticed your Burberry plaid was looking a little frayed."

"I'm hungry," Rin announced, bored with talk of clothing and accessories. "What's for breakfast?"

Kagome ruffled the girl's unruly hair. "Belgian waffles with candied almonds and pomegranate syrup and tempeh bacon."

Rin was good with any food that had 'candied' as a prefix and she had approved the syrup when Kagome made it the day before. But tempeh bacon sounded like something her mother would have made and her father would have gagged on. "What's that kind of bacon?"

Kagome was aware that Mr. Taisho was on a restricted diet because of his past heart attack and had deliberately chosen a low-fat meat alternative. "It tastes just like the real thing. Okay that's a lie," she confessed, shaking her head. "It tastes nothing like bacon. But it's good. Okay, edible. Very edible," she added, her voice rising in pitch. "Anyone want Baileys with their coffee? Or a Screwdriver? I've got orange juice." Her doubts about the menu had resurfaced.

"Kagome, let me help you," Rose said. She laid a hand on her husband's knee before he could stand. "You and Sesshoumaru stay here and…talk," she said pointedly. "Rin, come into the kitchen with us."

Mrs. Taisho had been carefully poking her husband, encouraging him to talk with Sesshoumaru before they left on their trip. The death of their younger son convinced her that necessary conversations should not be postponed. He didn't disagree that the talk needed to happen, but he was a proud, closed person with an intense dislike of uncomfortable, uncontrolled situations, and their son was made the same way. However, sometimes shit needed to be disturbed in order to move on, and Mrs. Taisho, knowing they both would prefer to never bring up the past, decided to agitate. In a refined, passive-aggressive way, of course. She made her exit, leaving them to carry on.

Ken Taisho, alone with his son and lacking any business-related topic to bring up, took a deep breath. "You seem happy. She's a delightful girl," he said after a minute of silence.

Sesshoumaru, immediately suspicious of his mother's convenient exit and father's discomfit, had no intentions of being cooperative in discussing his private life. "Yes, it's been nice to see Christmas from a child's perspective."

"I meant Kagome," Ken said dryly, "though I suspect you know that." He shifted in his chair and stood, wishing he had taken Kagome up on her offer of an alcoholic beverage—it would have been worth the look of disapproval that he was sure to earn from his wife. "Years ago, I would have told you, you could do better."

"Years ago, I would have cared about your opinions regarding my personal life."

Touché, Mr. Taisho thought. "I'm glad we are different people now."

The statement was as close to an admission of being mistaken as Sesshoumaru had ever heard from his father. He went to stand by him. Though his relationship with Kagome had nothing to do with his parents, he was relieved they didn't disapprove. "So am I. I am glad we've moved on."

Ken Taisho knew they had reached some satisfying connection and he could let the matter drop. He also knew his wife would find the exchange inadequate. It _was_ inadequate. He turned and looked at his son, so like him in too many ways. "Sesshoumaru…" He paused and wished for the perfect words to bridge the years of silence. They were surprisingly simple. "I'm sorry."

Sesshoumaru felt blindsided. This wasn't about Kagome; it was about their past, something he'd prefer to leave ignored and buried. "Father—"

"It's too late for me to say the things I should have said to your brother, and I regret that every day. But it's not too late for us. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I tried to control you when you were eighteen. It was wrong of me to dictate your decisions about your own future when I should have been supportive of you." He waited, hoping Sesshoumaru wouldn't tell him to stop. "I'm more sorry that I sent you away when you were young. Aside from shutting Inuyasha out of our lives, it was the biggest mistake of my life."

The scab, now scratched open, revealed the hurt and sadness that he had attempted to repress for so long. "Why did you?" Sesshoumaru asked, voice straining and hands clenched around the coffee cup in an effort to keep them from shaking. "I wasn't a bad kid."

The look of hurt on his son's face tore at him. "No. You weren't. Neither was your brother," he said. He stared out the window at the sky, which was just beginning to lighten. Now that he had started, the apology felt natural, like the words had been in his mouth for years. "I can't explain myself other than to tell you that I was afraid. My wife was ill and I didn't know what to do, and that scared me to death. I thought I was doing the right thing to help her. I thought she would get better. I thought it was temporary. I understand now I was foolish in thinking that I could solve the problem on my own. My patriarchal pride didn't want to admit how damaged my own family had become and that this was something I couldn't fix. I was wrong, and you suffered. I'm sorry."

Sesshoumaru was appalled that pain he had kept tightly under control for years was so dangerously able to rattle him. "I still have nightmares," he said quietly. "I still wake up in the middle of the night, convinced I'm ten years old and haunted by rejection and loneliness."

Ken sighed sharply. "Sesshoumaru, if I could do anything to change the past, I would. For years I tried to excuse myself by taking your success as proof that in the long run it was for the best. You received the best education money could buy; you had opportunities only available to elites. Deep down, I knew better. I took your childhood, your family away from you, and I'll always be guilty of that sin. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I've waited this long to tell you."

Sesshoumaru had never expected to hear those words and was unprepared for his reaction. They were just words, after all, but those words gave him acknowledgement and permission to feel hurt, and with that came the first steps toward closure. He laid a hand on his father's shoulder. "I forgive you."

The two men embraced, tightly and for a long time, interrupted by the sounds of Rose and Kagome sobbing.

"It would seem we have a couple of eavesdroppers," Ken said. He grinned like he hadn't in years. "Your mother…she's a force to be reckoned with. I'm glad she insisted I not hide from this conversation."

Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder at his mother and Kagome in the kitchen, wiping their tears and trying to pretend they weren't listening. Rin rolled her eyes at them. "So am I," he said.

XxXxX

The remainder of Christmas was pleasant. They played with Rin's new toys and dressed her dollies. Sesshoumaru went outside to teach Oberon to fetch one of his new toys, much to Kagome's patronizing disbelief. She was of the opinion that the dog was incapable of retrieving, and Sesshoumaru was determined to prove her wrong. Dinner was game hens and braised root vegetables, followed by a chocolate cake Mrs. Taisho brought, and they finished the day with _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ and _The Nightmare before Christmas_.

Now, Kagome and Sesshoumaru were alone, enjoying the soft light from the tree and sharing a bottle of wine as music played in the background. Rin was spending the night at the big house, her little suitcase was packed, and Sesshoumaru was set to drive her and his parents to the airport early the next morning to catch their six thirty flight.

"I'm trying to decide if I want to wake up with you at five or if I want to stay asleep," Kagome said. "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I want to say goodbye to Rin at the airport. She's so excited…I hope she's able to sleep tonight." She laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm going to miss her."

"It's only for five days, but I'm going to miss her too," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "She's an amazing child."

"So. You and your dad had a talk." She decided the best way to combat melancholy was a change of subject. "Are you okay?" she asked gently.

"I'm fine." He pulled her closer. The conversation with his father hadn't been easy on either man, but he already felt things between them were lighter, as if they had swept away ancient egg shells that had been so much a part of fabric of their relationship they didn't realize how chronically on edge they had become.

Kagome searched his eyes. He didn't want to talk about it, and she accepted that. It was enough to see him less guarded, less careful. She kissed him. "Time brings healing, but no more so than forgiveness does."

They stayed quiet, lightly touching and listening to Handel's _Messiah_. "This is my favorite chorus," Kagome said when the sopranos began singing _And he shall purify_.

"Hm…mine too."

"I have something else to give you," they said simultaneously.

"You first," Kagome blurted out. She had doubted that he would let Christmas get by with only giving her an inexpensive toy, especially after their mutual declarations of love, but hoped it was nothing extravagant. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with the Taishos' wealth and it wasn't that their relationship was new; she had merely hoped he went for something personal, rather than something showy and impressive.

Sesshoumaru rose and got a gift bag hidden under his coat.

Kagome held her breath and pulled out a hardcover book, _The Painted Body Kama Sutra, A Photographic Reverie_. "Ooo I don't have this one," she said, smiling and visibly relieved. "Yay! Something for my collection." She turned the pages slowly, looking at the familiar poses that always struck her as so new and amazing with each different version. This one was less the classic advice book and instruction manual than an essay of countless color photos of nude couples entirely covered in bright, fantastical body paint, demonstrating the positions. The images were gorgeous, sensual and elegant with an artistic polish and almost dream-like quality. It was perfect. "These photographs are breathtaking. Thank you." She reached under the coffee table and came up with a gift-wrapped box, similar to one containing the scarf. She would peruse the book more thoroughly later. "Now you."

Sesshoumaru opened it to see flannel dogs playing poker and dogs playing pool. He looked at her and was unsurprised to see an impish expression.

"You couldn't possibly think, after all the crap you've given me about my robe, that I wouldn't do this. Your comment the other morning…I quote, 'I can't decide if it is the general repulsiveness, the kitsch on principle, or the shabbiness that I find more distasteful.' It's like you were begging me to make you this. And they're pajama pants by the way, not a robe."

He shook his head to silence a laugh. "I suppose I should be grateful that the print isn't sports cars." He set the box aside. He was accustomed to her sense of cheeky humor by now, if not utterly and completely turned on by it. "Come tomorrow morning it's going to be quiet around here."

Kagome took his cue and set her gift next to his. "How will we ever occupy ourselves?" She climbed on his lap, her legs straddling his hips. She began to undo the buttons on his shirt as she kissed her way up his neck, nibbling skin and coaxing content sounds from him. "You know…I've not done all the positions in this book. That's something we could do to pass the time." She pressed against the growing bulge in his pants with slow, tantalizing circles. "You should count your lucky stars I do yoga on a semi-regular basis. Some of those positions require a lot of flexibility."

"I consider myself beyond lucky," he said, easing her sweater up to trace the path of her spine up to her bra strap, which was deftly unhooked. The motions of her hips and the sensations her teasing mouth were creating in him proved that statement wasn't an exaggeration. "I don't doubt we'll find ways to pass the time."

"I've got some body paint," she whispered. "We could take pictures—"

"No." His hands captured her round breasts, squeezing firmly. "No paint. No pictures."

Kagome moaned and felt like she was turning to mush at his not too gentle, not too harsh treatment. There was a time in her life when she wouldn't have been able to handle anything but the most benign of erotic caresses. She was glad she had found someone to trust and put it behind her. "I'd accuse you of being boring, but that would be a total lie." She eased his shirt down his shoulders and palmed the smooth skin, exploring his muscled arms and chest. She bent her head down and let her mouth follow her hands.

"What?" he asked. He thought he heard her stifling a giggle.

She laughed. "Man nipples. So useless, so fun." And so sensitive, she thought with a smirk as she played her tongue around a hardening nub and switched to the other side. The responses her aggressive little bites were wringing from him were utterly arousing. "You could let me tie you up. No photographic evidence, I promise."

"Good god, Kagome," he panted. The combination of her body and her mouth and the ideas racing through his mind made him feel like he was falling, out of control. He liked it more than he cared to admit. "What the fuck are you doing to me?"

Her heart froze. He never swore. "I'm sorry," she said, straightening. After the anal play of the night before, she thought he would be receptive to light bondage and felt horrible that she suggested something that made him uncomfortable. "Do you want me to stop? If kinky talk is too much—"

"No." He stroked her chin so she would look at him. "I don't want you to stop." He had had his share of women in his bed, but never the same woman for more than a handful of occurrences and had scant real experience with the more adventurous, less vanilla side of sex. "Don't be afraid of scaring me off. I'm not as prudish as you may think I am." He drew her close and claimed her mouth, kisses greedy and demanding.

"Sesshoumaru," she asked when they finally parted, "can I tell you a secret?"

He nodded and brushed the hair from her face, opening her, exposing them.

"I like the missionary position…with you," she said, blushing. "I like your weight on me. I like to look at you and feel you and smell you. I like to hold you and wrap my legs around yours. You never make me feel I'm passive or beneath you. I know that sex position is thought of as boring…I hope you don't think so."

"Kagome…nothing about you could ever be boring."

"Wanna spend the night?"

"I thought we had already established that as a given."

She smiled, awkwardness gone. "It's still fun to ask. I think we should let the dog out and unplug the lights and turn off _Messiah_. We should get ready for bed and you should model those PJs for me…I need to make sure the length is right. Then I will slowly peel them off you and I'm sure you can figure out what comes next."

"Based on recent conversation, either missionary sex or you tying me up."

She laughed and hugged him tightly. "They aren't necessarily incompatible." She had a vision of him, his wrists chained to her headboard, pounding her into lust-filled oblivion from above. "That can wait. Tonight I want your hands free. I want you to touch me." She kissed him. "Merry Christmas, Sesshoumaru."

He adjusted her arms around his neck and walked toward the bedroom, making sure those long legs were twined around his hips. Lights, dog, music could wait an hour.

A/N

I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own Windham Hill, Coach, Yomega eXtreme, Baileys, _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ or _The Nightmare before Christmas. _Thank you for reading. Reviews, as always, are very much appreciated.


	35. Catching Up, Barriers Gone, Cute Feet

Kagome and Sango found an empty table, nestled in a corner to lend some privacy, at their favorite Memorial Park coffee shop and sat. The bustle of Christmas was over and they looked forward to catching up.

"Okay, so I told you about my fabulously awesome Christmas. How was yours?" Kagome said, shrugging off her coat. "How's the family?"

"Mine was great, though maybe not as good as yours," Sango said with a grin. Kagome had babbled nonstop while they stood in line, talking about how her fears were unfounded and the Taishos were nothing but kind to her and how happy Rin was that Sesshoumaru was around more and how good it felt to be in love. Sango had only to listen and nod encouragement. "All the extended family was there, complete with cousins I didn't even know existed. It was a really nice family get-together, especially since my parents were gone on their cruise over Thanksgiving. Kohaku brought his girlfriend to meet everyone, which was a godsend, because it took a little focus off me and my pregnancy." She shook her head. "All the well-meaning, unhelpful advice gets old fast. Birth horror stories, unasked-for opinions on baby names, people giving me the stink eye when I had a cup of coffee. It's like once a woman conceives she suddenly becomes community property and people feel entitled to question everything she does."

"Yeah," Kagome said, blowing on her hot coffee. "Kikyou used to say she wished she had a t-shirt that read, 'I'm not pregnant—it's a beach ball under my clothes. Now leave me alone.' Just ignore people who aren't giving you positive energy. And realize that no one means any real harm."

"I know," she said. "It was just irritating to be judged every time I turned around. I still had a nice day though. The food was great, Kohaku's girlfriend is a sweetheart, and my parents gave me a gorgeous leather laptop bag that I've had my eye on for a while. Apparently my dear husband notices more than he lets on…including my catalogue perusal."

Kagome laughed. "You're just now realizing this? I knew from the moment I met him that Miroku was a master at silent observation. I'm glad you had a good time, despite having to run the pregnancy approval gauntlet." Kagome took an experimental sip and recoiled from the scorching heat. "So what baby names are you thinking about?"

Sango grinned slyly. "Miroku and I have decided not to tell anyone."

"What. The. Hell. You can't keep secrets like that."

"Watch me," she said, ignoring Kagome's indignant frown. It had been Miroku's idea—one she wholeheartedly was in favor of. They enjoyed their friends and social lives, but inside they were both intensely private people, and this decision was one they wanted to be only between the two of them. "I'm still doing a lot of reading and research about pregnancy and birth…and figuring out child care. It's a daunting task. Miroku would love to be a stay at home dad if we didn't depend on his income so much." She removed a steaming tea bag from her cup and spooned in honey. "I'm thinking about going down to Monday, Wednesday, Friday and working half day on Saturday. I know I could get Saturday appointments; some people just don't have weekdays free. That would let me stay home Tuesday and Thursday and not take a huge hit in income. My mom has already committed to one day a week, and Miroku is checking into the possibilities of working half days on Fridays." Sango sighed. "It's such a dilemma. The best daycare in the neighborhood wants a commitment of paying for four days a week, but I'd only need it for one and a half. It's a maze of confusion…and I'm not even showing yet."

Kagome nodded. "You may want to talk to Jak."

"Be serious," Sango scoffed.

"I am. He watched Rin bunches of times when she was itty bitty, especially during those months of Kikyou's last tour before her hiatus. Her little face would always light up whenever she saw him, so I'm thinking he interacted with her a lot. He lives in the neighborhood, usually doesn't have anything going on mid-week, and is always up for making some extra cash. He could be a good option for Wednesday."

Sango's expression went from dubious to curious. "I'll discuss it with Miroku. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm a little intrigued. Speaking of Rin, have you heard from her?"

"This morning. The Taishos call twice a day. They're currently at the Magic Kingdom and apparently Rin has gotten so many sea shells and sand dollars and Florida memorabilia and Disney _stuff_, the Taishos had to buy another suitcase. She got presents for Shippou and Jordie and Jerie and a Stitch doll for me." She smiled softly. "A few months ago I would have been jealous. I admit it," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I would have felt inadequate and guilty that I couldn't provide her that experience and jealous someone else could. But now…I'm just happy that she's happy. I talk a lot to Mr. and Mrs. Taisho too. I think this trip is helping them make up for being absent from so much of their own sons' childhoods, not erasing mistakes, but they are pouring love and attention into Inuyasha's daughter. They said she is being really good, no problems with eating or sleeping, no acting out when told No." She sighed and the smile deepened. "I guess I'm secure enough in how things are that I'm taking her easy transition not as rejection of me personally, but a reflection that I've got a great kid on my hands and I've been raising her right."

"Kagome, you've done better than right. You helped Rin through some major adjustments, when you yourself were dealing with a huge burden." Sango reached across the table and squeezed Kagome's hand. "That takes a lot of caring and a lot of strength. You should be proud that she's having a good time."

She teared up instantly. "I am. And my feelings are only a tiny bit hurt when I say 'Goodbye honey, I love you and I miss you' and she responds 'Bye, we're gonna go get ice cream now.'" The women laughed together.

"So apart from missing Rin…tell me about the rest." _The rest_ Sango referenced was made apparent by a naughty grin and arched brow.

"Girl, that first day…hotdamn. We had sex for like ten hours."

"Ten hours." Sango's voice was flat with skepticism.

"Well, not in a row," Kagome said, somewhat defensive. "We took obvious time for bodily needs and talking and napping and stuff. I can safely say we stayed naked most of the day. We even ran out of condoms."

_Kagome looked in her nightstand and groaned. "Oh shit."_

"_What?" he asked._

"_I forgot to add a certain item to my shopping list. You wouldn't happen to have any prophylactics in your shirt pocket, would you?" _

"_No, we used the last one a few hours ago. I may have some in my room." He reached over for his pants, lying on the floor next to the bed, but Kagome stopped him. _

"_Sesshoumaru…" She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Condoms were a sex security blanket, one she relied on through college and beyond. The practical safety applications were obvious, but there was an additional symbolic barrier…one she thought she was ready to negotiate her dependence on. "I would understand if you don't want to…we could just have oral sex or play with toys the rest of the night if we've exhausted the condom supply. But…I'm on the pill," she said shyly. "We could, you know…not use them. I tested negative for everything this summer and I'm a reliable—"_

_He kissed her hard and gave a short laugh. "You have no idea how happy you've just made me."_

_She made a face, a goofy scowl. "Oh really…is it that much better?" she asked._

"_Imagine taking a bath. Imagine taking a bath wearing a plastic bag."_

_She was thoughtful a moment, then moved so she was sitting in his lap in lotus position, legs around his waist, the wetness between her thighs pressed against his hard cock. She adjusted her body and let him slip inside, feeling every slow inch as their bodies became flush against one another. He shuddered with the pleasure of this new feeling and held her tightly. "After dinner," she whispered, "let's take a bath together." A whole new world of fascinating possibilities took shape in her mind._

"Earth to Kagome," Sango said.

"Huh?" she said, snapping back to the present.

"You spaced out for a second. You ran out of condoms…" she prompted.

Kagome chewed her lower lip, knowing the import of what she was about to say. "And we decided to skip them."

"_Wow_," Sango said. This was big news. "You must really trust him. I know your condom policy." Beginning their first week of college, Kagome's reputation, one as a tireless condom crusader with a motto of No Glove—No Love, preceded her. "Besides sex, how have the past three days gone?"

"Life back to normal for the most part. Work, eat, play, sleep. It's funny strange…there's this ginormous mansion next to us, but we've spent all our time at the guest house." She stared out the window at passing cars. "I feel like we're playing house. I did a load of laundry today, and there were boxers and men's socks and undershirts in it. We get up together and have coffee before he leaves. I'm teaching him how to cook. He's a quick study…in a lot of ways." She shook her head to avoid another reminiscing sexual daydream. "Yesterday afternoon I was taking a break from work, making a pot of tea in the kitchen. I had just let the dog out and heard Sesshoumaru's car. A minute later, out the kitchen window I saw a flash of orange, then Oberon ran by. Then he ran back. This was repeated. It took me a minute to register what was going on, and I was floored. He taught my dog, my laziest-dog-ever, to fetch."

Sango couldn't hold back her giggle, so happy and amused. "Sounds like he has become an integral part of your life."

"Sango, it's been years since I had a boyfriend, but even then…I've never been in a relationship like this. I've never been so relaxed, so reassured of mutual trust. I'd chalk it up to maturity, but I know from my column that forty year olds can act like selfish, game-playing children just as much as seventeen year olds. It's more than he's intelligent and, when forced, funny and kind. He's got a buried affectionate side that I've been seeing more often. And he doesn't do the boorish, condescensive Men Are From Mars bullshit that I've always hated. It's respect and tenderness, and acceptance when I show him the same. He treats me as an equal. Sorry," she said, suddenly self-conscious. "I sound like a sappy idiot."

Sango looked at Kagome like a mother bird might regard a fledgling. She had let go of a lot of fear and, frankly, stubbornness and was now finally getting the happiness she deserved. "You don't. You sound like you are in love for the right reasons with the right guy. I'm happy for you." Sango paused, a guilty shadow crossing her face. "Kagome, I need to tell you…I called him after you came to talk to me a week ago."

"I know." Kagome had no interest in prolonging Sango's confession; she had gotten over herself soon after she realized how right Sango had been in alerting Sesshoumaru to her intentions of a break-up. "Thanks for being a good friend. I was pissed as hell for five seconds, but fortunately someone was able to shake sense into me. Enough about me and my drama. How are you feeling? You look awesome."

"I feel great," Sango said. "Nausea, tiredness gone. It's weird…I am very aware that I'm pregnant, but I don't have any more of the yuckiness and I'm not showing. Now that I'm not running to the nearest toilet to puke, strangers don't know I'm pregnant. Right now it feels very private, like a joke Miroku and I are sharing. Thank god for the not showing yet—I don't have to go out and buy a maternity evening gown for New Year's Eve. I can still fit into the dress I wore to the Barrister's Ball four years ago. The style is classic, so I'm simply not going to worry about wearing a dated dress."

Kagome knew that dress; she had made it. It was floor length, black with bold red accents, and had a form-fitting bodice that extended to mid-thigh with a flared taffeta skirt. "That's a little fancy, isn't it?"

"Kagome, haven't you seen the invitation? It's clearly a black-tie event."

She hadn't. "Ooohhhhh…fuuuuuck," she said, like a vulgar balloon deflating. She went from confused over her mistaken assumption to horrified about her wardrobe. The above-the-knee, hanky-hem, black cocktail dress she planned on wearing wouldn't do. She mentally searched her closet and began to panic. "What am I going to wear? WhadamIgonnawear? _WhadamIgonnawear_?" She scanned the coffee shop and didn't find an answer. "I need to make a dress. New Year's Eve is two days away, and I need to make a stunning, perfect dress."

Sango rolled her eyes. "Or you could, you know, just buy one."

Rebel Kagome bristled. "Hell no! I don't want to look like everyone else." She knew she and Sesshoumaru would be seen together, and there would be certain presumptions made. As much as she rejected conforming to the lavish lifestyle of his social circle, she was not about to show up as someone who was out of her league. "It's gotta be flattering, obviously. Classic, but not conservative. For a formal event, New Year's Eve is less rigid, so I can have some fun with the design. I don't want to stand out too much, but I don't want to fade away either." She stared off a moment, plotting. "To the fabric store, I go."

Sango knew Kagome, despite frequent freak-outs, thrived under pressure and tight deadlines. During freshman year in the dorms, she thought her roommate's twin was merely an epic procrastinator, but once she got to know Kagome better, she realized the woman loved being challenged. She laughed. "Knock 'em dead, babe. I know you can do it."

XxXxX

Kagome sorted through her patterns of bridal, bride's maid, and mother-of-the-bride dresses, pulling out pieces and laying them together—a skirt from one dress, a bodice front from another, mismatched straps from yet another. Like a couture Dr. Frankenstein creating a hybrid gown from disparate parts, her true genius was only to be recognized by those who could appreciate the effort it took to match unrelated pieces. To everyone else, it would merely be a gorgeous dress. Two days was not enough time for her to put her own signature touch on it with beading or embroidery, so she instead chose a lacy ribbon that she had squirreled away for such an occasion. She would use it to embellish the bodice, criss-crossing artfully to accentuate the bolder of the two straps. The whole thing was taking shape in her mind, from the champagne lace against the deep grey viscose silk she had picked out at the fabric store, to the shape of the gown, with a reasonably low, plunging neckline and flowing drapery of the skirt. It was a good look, well balanced and emphasizing her long, slender build. Now she only needed to make it. No easy feat, considering Rin and the Taishos were expected back the next day.

She heard the bathroom door open; Sesshoumaru was done with his shower. She got up to join him in the living room, but first tucked away her patterns and yardage so he wouldn't see them. Though there was no need for secrecy, she had a perverse desire to keep evidence of the gown hidden until the big night. She reluctantly turned off the light, torn between the excitement of getting started on the dress and spending every minute with Sesshoumaru before their privacy was swept up with the return of Rin.

He was stretched out on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, dressed only in pajama pants that, Kagome noticed with no small amount of happiness, were flannel of a familiar canine print.

"Did you have a good workout?" she asked as she took her spot next to him. "You seem more…laid back than usual. And, uh, nice jammies." The last bit slipped out.

Sesshoumaru was too tired to respond to her last comment. He could have defended his choice of clothing by asserting that he only donned them to please her, but the truth was that the distastefulness was more than made up for by the fact that they were soft, warm, and fit him perfectly. "Sensei thought I seemed distracted today and decided I needed a lesson on staying focused. I had my ass handed to me by a man older than my father. I'm already sore. Tomorrow won't be pleasant at all."

Kagome snorted. "Good to know that young whippersnappers who exercise absolute capitalist power can still be taken down a peg." She snuggled up nearer. "But seriously…I'm jealous. I haven't had a decent workout in over a week. Since it's gotten so cold, I haven't been able to run, and my Pilates instructor is on vacation."

He winced as he put an arm around her. "Come to the DAC. I'll leave a guest pass at the desk for you. You have to pay extra for personal trainers and masseurs, but the pass will give you access to all the machines and classes and the sauna."

"Really? I may just take you up on that. I'd love to hit a treadmill for forty-five minutes. Too bad I can't take the dog. He's languishing." She shot an apologetic glance toward Oberon, lying nearby. Her glance was naturally drawn to Sesshoumaru's feet, propped up on the coffee table. They were clean and as finely formed as his hands. She couldn't believe she hadn't yet taken the time to notice them. "You have cute feet."

It was a statement of either his fatigue or his self-control that the only part of his body that moved was his eyes to give her a sideways glare. "Nothing about me is cute."

Kagome hid her amusement. "Not cute as in ponies and puppies. Cute as in…_sexy_."

He was somewhat assuaged, if only by her playfulness. "Foot fetish, Kagome?"

"No," she said quickly. Too quickly. "Okay, not exactly a foot fetish…I just know how erogenous feet can be. They take a lot of abuse as we go about our daily lives, supporting our weight and bearing the brunt of our activity. Then when we strip off shoes and quit demanding so much, they are really sensitive. All those little bones are receptive to gentle treatment. They elicit a rather powerful reaction."

"I confess I've never given feet much thought. Other than that mine are aching."

"I have a unique appreciation for feet," she said with a wry smile. "Would you like a foot massage?"

A massage to any part of his body sounded divine. "I won't turn one down." It wouldn't do to seem overeager.

Kagome slapped her hands together and jumped up. She had no issues with the appearance of eagerness. Within a minute she had dimmed the lights, put on music, and retrieved a bottle of massage oil. "Okay," she said, kneeling down and pushing his feet from the coffee table, "off with your pants."

"_What_?" he asked. This added instruction was clearly not expected.

Kagome slid the table out of the way. "We both know how this will end up. As cute-sexy as your feet are, I'm not going to be content with my hands on only them. And besides that, I haven't given you a proper blowjob yet."

Sesshoumaru didn't need to be told twice. Dog-patterned pajama bottoms hit the floor, and he settled, naked, back into the couch, too focused on his good fortune to be self-conscious. He had indeed been distracted at the dojo; he had been all day. The question of how to bring up the topic of marriage with Kagome had loomed in his mind at the expense of everything else, and it seemed he was more than merely lucky that his preoccupation would now earn him this lavish attention.

Kagome picked up his right foot and set it in her lap, then poured a small amount of massage oil in her hand. It was warm in her palm and smelled faintly of cloves, the first time she'd used it since purchasing it a few months before. She first used both hands, rubbing oil over his skin, using only the smallest amount of pressure and taking care not to tickle. His feet, with high arches and sharp ankles, had graceful shape and length. Strong feet, she thought. Good feet. His skin was smooth and firm, and she decided Sesshoumaru must treat himself to pedicures often.

She smiled softly. She and Inuyasha and Kikyou had regularly given each other foot rubs and back rubs; they were all athletic and therefore subjected to the body aches and pains that come with strenuous exercise, and comfort with touching and being touched had been part of the intimacy of their household. However, Inuyasha, unlike his brother, had feet that looked like he had never worn a shoe a day in his life. They weren't gross…just so heavily callused and inordinately ticklish they seemed emblematic of Inuyasha himself—tough, hard layer sheltering the sensitivity within.

Once the oil was applied evenly and Kagome felt Sesshoumaru begin to truly relax, she increased the pressure, starting with her thumbs on the top of his foot. Gradually the strokes became harder and worked the flesh lower, muscle and tendon pliant beneath her fingers. She paid close attention to his instep, knowing it was likely where he was most sore, and rubbed the oil into his skin, channeling warmth and languor. The next recipients of her skillful handling were his toes. She plied each one individually, firm enough to not tickle, light enough to not hurt.

Kagome was intrigued. He responded with appreciation as she assumed he would, and with the beginning of an erection, but she also sensed a vulnerability she hadn't expected. His body was relaxed, and with his eyes closed he was wonderfully, erotically unguarded. She spent several more minutes caressing his foot, attentive to the way he sighed and moaned and the way he fell under her spell. She turned to the other foot and repeated the play. Oil, light stroking that deepened, bit by bit bringing him to a state of complete letting go. She knew he trusted her—this was yet another layer, further proof of what they had come to mean to each other.

She turned to his lower leg. The calf muscle was dense and well formed, but stiff. The time for subtlety was over. She used the strength in her fingers and the heel of her hand to press hard, in broad circular motions.

He tensed up at the first sign that she wasn't going to go easy on him, then relaxed through the twinges of pain as she worked out the tightness. It was a good hurt, and he felt the soreness he had acquired from the extreme sparring session dissipate under her fingers. "How did you become so adept at this?" he asked after several minutes of blissful surrender. His mind about their long-term future was even more made up, despite the fact that he still hadn't spoken with her about it. That glaring oversight would be addressed at a more convenient time

"Lots of practice," she said, laying her hands on his other leg. "Your brother was particularly good at getting tied up in knots. He carried a lot of tension in his neck and shoulders." She kept kneading his flesh until it seemed this particular job was done and it was time to move on to other body parts. She slid her palms up his thighs, encouraging them to part so she could fit comfortably between his legs. In the faint light she could see his cock hardening to full length as she made her way upward. Oh…this will be fun, she thought. And she intended to take her time and enjoy every second.

Kagome considered oral sex to be one of the great pleasures of having a partner, and they had already incorporated it into their usual foreplay. However, she hadn't yet brought him to orgasm that way—it was a situation that needed remedy. Most people could give a decent blowjob if they wanted to, but a _good_ blowjob was close to an art form. And she was, after all, an artist. The first time she'd given him head had been a series of sensual experiments. Every man has different needs, after all. Mapping his sensitive spots, his _too_ sensitive spots; learning his tolerance for teeth, the way he liked his foreskin sucked between her lips. Now, versed in his geography, she knew how to make him hers. Nothing, in her experience, was more erotic than a slow buildup of desire, prolonged teasing with lips and tongue and teeth. Nothing a greater turn-on than expectation. Her hands, free of oil, were joined by her mouth. She rubbed and licked and nibbled, inching her way up his legs, first one then the other.

His fingers twined in her hair, and she paused. "For the record, you may put your hands on my head…hell, pull my hair a little if you want. But you may not force my head down. I hate that. And I'd love it if you cum in my mouth. No warning required."

He buried his fingers deeper into the thick mass of her hair as she returned to her exquisite torment, and he again questioned his good fortune. He had never had a lover so open and communicative, unafraid of expressing desire and dislike. A lover who knew what she wanted and gave the same. And he had never been with anyone who was so good at getting him out of his shell. It ceased to surprise him anymore that the perfect woman for him, his equal and someone who balanced him, was very different than he.

When Kagome reached her destination, Sesshoumaru was so aroused and on edge he could barely contain his reaction. She, daring and naughty and testing, rewarded his patience with continued teasing. She let the tip of her tongue trace invisible lines along his testicles, barely touching. She sucked and played with the loose, sensitive skin. He groaned and twitched, and she could tell he was straining to stay still. Kagome decided he'd had enough. Everyone has a point when fun, sexy torture becomes annoying or, worse, a turn-off, and she consciously avoided that point. She would have to wait to discover the joys of Sesshoumaru on the receiving end of ass play at some time in their future.

Without further preamble, Kagome took his cock in her mouth and swirled her tongue around the smooth, taut head. The sounds he made turned from agonizingly tense to relieved and satisfied, hopeful. That combination of sounds would never get old. She lowered her head, taking him deeper into the wet warmth of her mouth. She continued slowly, up and down, applying pressure to the throbbing veins on the underside of his cock with her flat part of her tongue, taking more and more of his length. She cupped and rubbed his balls with one hand and slid along his cock, mimicking the motions of her mouth, with the other. She found a rhythm, up and down, caressing with her tongue, tasting and touching. He didn't last long.

"Kagome, I'm going to…" The half statement was equal parts warning, declaration, and compliment.

Kagome slowed and lightened her touch while he came, letting him flood her mouth. Hot, salty, familiar. It really had been too long since she'd given a blowjob; she couldn't imagine anyone she would rather share such an intimate, deliberate act with. She swallowed and kept moving, but with ultimate tenderness and slowness, waiting for him to stop pulsing. Already she couldn't wait to do it again.

She climbed up on the couch next to him and smooched his cheek. "You're welcome to spend the night here. I know the thermostat has been turned down next door for the past several days. I'm not coming to bed for a while though. I need to spend some time sewing. Last minute, important project. See you in the morning." She kissed him again and disappeared.

Sesshoumaru sat sprawled on the couch for a half an hour, enveloped in post-orgasmic glow and not interested in moving from his spot. She was unlike anyone he had ever met.

Her abrupt departure, when he would have preferred to hold her and perhaps talk about their future, cast a small shadow—he was faced, for the first time, with the possibility of her saying No. The concept was upsetting, but rather than go to the empty mansion next door or seek her out in her workroom, he retreated to the bed he had begun to, hopefully, think of as theirs.

XxXxX

Kagome cursed herself for not paying better attention to the layout of the Downtown Athletic Club. The place was huge, and she wandered around looking for the women's locker room, ready to admit herself lost. She had attended a beginner Kettlebell class and run two miles on the treadmill. Now she felt like her muscles were shredded, she was drenched in sweat, and she wanted nothing more than to find the women's locker room and take a shower.

"Thank god," she said, when she saw a sign bearing the familiar stick-like figure in a skirt, and hurried toward the entrance. In her haste, she almost bumped into two well-dressed women making their way to the same place.

"Watch where you're going," one of them snarled.

"I'm so sorry," Kagome blurted, then realized she recognized one of them. "Oh…hi, Kagura." She was immediately aware of her red, flushed face, her baggy, unflattering t-shirt, and the several tendrils of hair that had escaped the confines of her ponytail and were now plastered against her face. Kagura, dressed in a red Versace power suit, looked like she had just come from a salon. The situation couldn't have been more awkward.

"Kagome…hello. I didn't realize you had a membership here."

"I don't," she said apologetically, though she had no reason to feel that way. "Sesshoumaru lent me a guest pass."

"I see." Kagura eyed Kagome's appearance with a smirk and didn't bother to introduce her to her friend. "Don't let me come between you and the shower."

"Uh…yeah. I'm a little sweaty after my workout."

"A little."

They walked in and Kagome grimaced when she saw her locker was near Kagura's. She had hoped to go back to anonymity. She quickly retrieved her bag with shampoo and body wash. "Good to see you again," she said brightly, trying to salvage some of her dignity. "Maybe we'll bump into each other at the party tomorrow."

"I doubt that," Kagura scoffed. "There's an invitation-only fete at the hotel, and I don't plan on attending the event open to the public." She stopped and her eyes narrowed imperceptibly. There was more to this woman than she had realized. She plastered a fake smile on her beautiful face. "Oh, Kagome…are you going to be at the private party?"

"Yeah," Kagome said, not buying Kagura's suddenly friendly tone. "I'm going with the Taishos and Rin. I need to get back home and finish sewing the lace on my dress before they get back from Florida. We're picking them up from the airport later today."

"Wait," Kagura said, now amused. "You are _making_ your dress?"

Kagome cringed. She had always hated her tendency to overshare when feeling uncomfortable, especially at the worst times. She wished she could erase the feeling that she had done something wrong, but Kagura inexplicably intimidated her. She wanted to say, 'The dress I'm making will be the envy of almost every woman there.' Instead she merely nodded.

"How very quaint of you."

Quaint was a word that had never, ever been attached to Kagome before. It was a label that slid off her like rain, however the mocking derision in Kagura's voice hit home. She didn't doubt her sewing abilities, but the back of her mind was plagued by insecurities. She didn't care what those people thought, but she cared about _him_. This was his world, and she didn't want to reflect badly on him. It was best just to leave quickly. Kagura was not her friend and never will be. A shower was even more necessary. "Well, see you tomorrow."

"Yes, I've got an appointment with my personal trainer and at two hundred dollars an hour, I really shouldn't make him wait. Tell Sesshoumaru that I had a wonderful time at our lunch yesterday. And I can't wait until next week." She smiled as Kagome walked away.

"Who was that woman?" Kagura's companion asked. "She looks like a fish out of water."

Kagura answered loudly, hoping Kagome could hear. "The aunt of Ken and Rose Taisho's granddaughter. She's been living on their property since this spring. They generously took her and the child in because she couldn't support the two of them financially…though one has to wonder how much longer she can possibly justify imposing on them. A few of my mother's friends have started referring to her as The Freeloader," she lied.

Kagura was thoughtful. She refused to believe that Sesshoumaru would be attracted to someone like Kagome Higurashi, but the fact that she was going to the airport with Sesshoumaru and attending the private party with the Taishos didn't sit well with her. Kagome was insinuating herself in the family. This wasn't good. Her and her parents' relationship with the Taishos was her great advantage in winning Sesshoumaru, who was persisting in his stubbornness about meeting with her for any reason but business. No, this wasn't good at all.

"Oh, I just remembered a phone call I needed to make. I'll see you tomorrow." She picked up her cell and called Naraku. He had better answer promptly, she steamed.

It only rang once. "Sister, dear."

"Save the family affection. Is your report ready?"

"I'm putting the finishing touches on it."

"Good. I want it tomorrow. Bring it to the party."

A/N

I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own anything connected to Disney. Thank you for reading! Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated.


	36. New Year's Eve

Naraku arrived at Hotel West Landen at the arranged time and scanned the lobby looking for Sesshoumaru. There were workers everywhere, milling about with a mixture of focus and confusion, putting the last touches on the space before the New Year's Eve bash. Even in the chaos, the tall, white-haired man wasn't difficult to spot.

That morning Kagura had called, hunger thick in her voice, to ask about the report and hint that he should give her a sampling of some of the dirt he had dredged up. The plan, as she envisioned it, was for Naraku to deliver the documents into her hands at the party, then seduce Kagome or, at least, get her away from Sesshoumaru and out of Kagura's way.

Naraku however had other intentions.

In the course of his investigation, he had followed Kagome on several occasions. She was a sexy little thing, and the prospect of getting her in bed certainly had its appeal, but the day before, he had seen Kagome and Sesshoumaru together and realized then that seduction would be impossible—the two of them were obviously in love. He doubted there was any information contained in his extensive report that would cause Sesshoumaru to feel differently toward her. Certainly there were juicy details, the very things that interested Kagura so much, but, after seeing the way Sesshoumaru smiled at Kagome across the street and put his arm around her when they met on the corner, he couldn't imagine Sesshoumaru caring about rumors and innuendo. It _did_ give him an idea. A man in love is a man with a weakness…a weakness Naraku intended to exploit for his own gain.

"Thanks for meeting me," he said. "I know this is a hectic day for you so I won't take up any more time than necessary."

"Naraku," Sesshoumaru said, "what's this about?"

"My sister, despite being the smartest woman I know, is still fooling herself into thinking you two are destined to be together."

Sesshoumaru shook his head wearily. "I've done nothing to encourage—"

"Oh, I know. But this isn't really about her, per se."

"What is it about then?" Sesshoumaru asked, cool and curious.

"Do you remember back in May, your father hired me to research the background of a certain Ms. Kagome Higurashi?"

"You were told your services were no longer necessary."

Naraku chose his words with care. He sought a partnership of sorts and didn't want Sesshoumaru to think of him as an adversary. "A couple months ago, Kagura asked me to finish it. I'm not one to ignore fraternal duty and affection and she was very persuasive, so I did. I'd like to make you an offer. Instead of giving it to her, I'll sell it to you."

Sesshoumaru's expression hardened. "I doubt there is anything you've discovered about Kagome or her past that I don't know about. And I don't care."

"Did you know there was a domestic violence call made to her apartment in two thousand one and the cop on duty concluded that she was fucking your brother?" He noticed Sesshoumaru's lip curled involuntarily. Oh yes, Naraku knew exactly how to choose his words.

"Their relationship wasn't like that."

Naraku smiled silkily. "Probably not…but do you really want my sister to have access to something like that? I've seen you and Kagome together and I'm not blind; you know you want to protect her. Even if you don't care about the conclusions of some cop, the accusation can still inflict a lot of damage. _You_ may not believe it, but perhaps Ms. Higurashi would like to minimize the damage done to her reputation."

"And why are you offering it to me? What happened to your brotherly love?"

Naraku sighed, purely to show he was above the petty drama that Kagura sought to cultivate. The hook was baited, and Sesshoumaru was listening. "You obviously aren't and won't ever be interested in my sister. For all her flaws, Kagura is still family, and I hate seeing her act so pathetic while she moons after you, possibly making a fool of herself tonight. And I can't stand playing a part in her game of self-delusion. To be honest though, the main reason I'm offering this to you is because I'm a businessman. I sell to the highest bidder and more important I prefer not to piss off the wrong people. While I shudder at the thought of crossing my sister, the way the poll numbers are trending, the arena referendum will pass and you will soon wield the most power and influence of any man in the state. I'd rather not make an enemy of the Great Sesshoumaru Taisho." Naraku noted that Sesshoumaru was not yet biting, so he pulled his trump card. "I heard some noise that there was a journalist doing research on your late sister-in-law for a tabloid-type, lowest-common-denominator article or even a book. I would hate to have to shop this around when we could finish right here and now."

Sesshoumaru sighed with irritation. The party was in six hours and he still had a lot to do before he could even think about getting ready. This was a distraction most inconvenient. Kagome was nervous about being accepted by his peers and would be mortified if her past was made public, especially in a way that would cause her embarrassment, something Kagura would ensure if she got possession of the report. He was planning to bring up the topic of their future when the madness of the party was over, and the last thing he wanted was for her to balk at her place in his life. Insulating her was paramount. Naraku was a shrewd player—he knew exactly how busy Sesshoumaru was and that he didn't have the time to bother with bargaining or threats. "Your price?"

"I think twenty-five thousand is fair. That amount is a pittance to you in the grand scheme and is large enough to make it worth incurring Kagura's wrath."

"Do you have it here?"

"I can get it."

"Have you shown it to Kagura?"

"No eyes other than my own have seen it. I couldn't do anything that would decrease its value after all." Naraku tried to keep his smug satisfaction from reaching his voice; the plan had gone perfectly.

"I'll have the money transferred. Take it to the front desk and have it sent to my room. I, of course, want all the copies. And I know I needn't tell you what will happen if this information finds its way elsewhere." He lowered his voice to a murderous whisper. "I'll have you buried."

Naraku didn't doubt Sesshoumaru was serious. Somehow the tables had turned, and he wanted nothing more than to finish the deal and leave. "I may be an immoral bastard, a title I accept, but I have a reputation that I intend to protect as well. Once money exchanges hands, I exercise complete discretion." Not to mention needing to keep secret the illegal acts he had to undertake in order to copy confidential legal documents, he thought.

Sesshoumaru didn't particularly trust Naraku, but he didn't want to take any chances that Kagome could be hurt. They were sharing a room at the hotel that night. He needed to make sure he destroyed or hid the report before she arrived.

XxXxX

Jak and Bank rapped on Kagome's front door and let themselves in. They stopped to greet the dog, then followed the loud sounds of Stevie Wonder, Kagome's current favored getting-ready-to-go-out music, to the rear of the house.

"Hey!" she called from the bathroom. "I'll be ready in a minute."

"Take your time," Bank said. "It's only quarter after—"

He was interrupted by Kagome as she flew past them, giving them each a brief kiss on the cheek, and went into the bedroom. She dabbed on perfume oil and checked her hair in the mirror. Flitting around her bedroom like a hummingbird, she slipped on a pair of strappy silver heels and filled a clutch handbag with necessities—lipstick, her phone, a packet of tissues, a tin of Altoids. She opened a jewelry box and rifled through the contents, humming an indistinct melody. The two men had known Kagome long enough to recognize that the speedy nonchalance in her routine was an act. Something was bothering her and she was trying her best to ignore it.

"How are you?" Bank asked. "And don't say fine. You're wound tighter than a closeted politician."

Kagome straightened and turned toward them, but her attempted smile crash landed. "I'm so nervous I feel like puking." She held different earrings up to her face with shaking hands. "Which earrings? I don't think I'm capable of decision making."

Bank stepped forward and took an elaborately beaded pair of earrings from her hands and replaced them with simple pewter hoops. "This dress is gorgeous. Did you make it?"

"No," she said, far more loudly than necessary. "I bought it. At a goddam store."

As she put in the hoops, Bank noticed Kagome had removed all the small wire circles and studs from the piercings that usually adorned the edges of her ears. "Is this just general nervousness, Kagome, or do you want to talk about it?"

She exhaled, long and ragged, and flopped back on her bed. With horror she remembered she had spent an hour on her hair and quickly sat up. "This is about the fact that tonight is the first time Sesshoumaru and I will be seen in public as a couple. I…overheard some things that people are saying about me yesterday. Part of me wants to tell high society to fuck off and part of me craves their approval. I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm afraid of what people will think. I'm afraid of violating some unwritten rule of how important people behave."

"Shit, Kagome," Jak said. "You're not meeting the queen for fucksake. This is a New Year's Eve Party. Everyone there is going to be wasted." He sat on the bed next to her and gave her an encouraging hug. "You look amazing. Your homemade dress is killer and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Those important people will be blown away by your skills and your fierce self. Sesshoumaru likes you for you. He'll be proud to have you with him, so enough with the insecurities."

"You're right. You'rerightyou'rerightyou'reright." She stood and stretched, much more successful in smiling convincingly. She just wished she wouldn't have to see Kagura. Something about that woman made Kagome's confidence level collapse on itself, like a building imploding, one painful brick at a time.

"Of course I am. How about some liquid bravery? Want to do a shot before we leave?"

Kagome laughed, already at ease. "Sounds like the perfect medicine. Whiskey? A client gave me a bottle of Glenfiddich 30 for Christmas." She grabbed their arms and led them out of the room.

"Miroku and Sango came over for breakfast today," Jak said as they went into the kitchen. "I have to admit I was pretty shocked when they asked me if I'd consider babysitting their offspring. I don't exactly give off a good with kids vibe, but apparently your recommendation goes a long way."

"You were great with Rin all those times you babysat," Kagome said. "I thought you might like the extra cash." She pulled a bottle from the liquor cabinet as Bank took out three shot glasses.

"Oh, extra income is always welcome. I just feel like a fraud, like someone wants me to handle something dangerous, but I don't have the right license."

"Why? All you need to take care of kids is common sense and kindness. I know you think you are the patron saint of the misanthropes, but Jak, you're one of the best people I know."

"Stop it," he scolded. "You're going to make me cry. You're a great friend, Kagome."

"To friendship," Bank said. "And despite the fact that this year brought tragedy, I think it's going out on a high note. To the future." They raised the glasses up to toast and drank.

"Thanks, you guys. I needed that. All of it." Kagome grabbed her coat and said goodbye to Oberon, offering assurances that the Taishos would bring him to the big house when they got home and she would see him in the morning. "You both look super sexy, by the way," she said as they walked to Bank's car. "I don't think I've ever seen Jak in a tux before."

"He does look damn fine, doesn't he," Bank said, patting Jak's ass. "He looks even better _out_ of his tux."

"I'm the one who is supposed to make the inappropriate, sexually charged remarks," Jak tutted. "Kagome…if you let us borrow your boyfriend for a night, we'll let you watch."

Kagome threw back her head and laughed at the cold, bracing air. "Let's go to the party."

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru had a deep level of personal satisfaction as he assessed the crowd in the largest ballroom of the new hotel. For weeks he had worked nearly nonstop to get the venue ready to open and host this party. It was a strategic gamble—if anything had happened to jeopardize the success of the night, it could mean an embarrassing defeat for the arena referendum. But his diligence and planning had paid off. The public party was heavily attended, full of revelers off and on the dance floor, enjoying the music of a DJ Kagome had recommended. Lines at restrooms and beverage vendors were short; security was present, but not obtrusive; the local media coverage was thorough. He couldn't have hoped for a better turnout and reception.

Content, he rode the elevator back up to the private party. When he left, his parents had arrived and taken over duties of welcoming the guests. They had Rin in tow and she was, predictably, the belle of the ball. He knew his father was more than capable of managing the ritualized pressing of hands and requisite small talk, but he was ready to join them and present the Taisho family as a united whole. The marketing savvy part of him was aware of the photo ops, images of them that would grace the pages of the business and social sections of the newspaper for the next few days. A larger, more important part of him enjoyed the thought of them together again. The close family he had always wanted. Only one person was missing…and she should be there soon.

"Uncle Sesshoumaru!" Rin ran across the room when she saw him and jumped into his arms. "You came back."

"I told you I was only going to be gone for a little while," he said, hoisting her up. His parents and Rin had returned from their vacation late afternoon the day before, but he only had had time to eat dinner with them before going back to work. Before she allowed him to leave, Rin had extracted a multitude of promises that he would be less busy and available to her soon. He looked forward to enjoying her post-trip clinginess and affection. "Is your aunt here yet?"

Rin nodded. "She's with Bank and Jak. They just got here." She leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "Kagome looks really pretty. Even grandfather said so."

Sesshoumaru looked toward the bar and spotted her. _Pretty_ didn't even begin to do her justice—she was stunning. Her hair was up, in a style similar to the ringlet curls she had given Rin, but hers had been teased and threaded with what looked like tiny pearl beads, giving an air of sophistication to the curls that cascaded around her shoulders. Her dress was deep, lustrous grey, with a contrasting embellishment sewn on the tight bodice that tapered to the low dropped waist and flared at the swell of her hips. The skirt was long, swirling loosely and accentuating her tall, slim body. He finally understood what had kept her studio off-limits the past two nights. What drew his attention however was her face. Her skin was clear and radiant; her eyes sparkled with laughter. She had that endearing Kagome-combination of shining happiness and a touch of awkward self-consciousness.

As if she could feel the longing in the heat of his gaze, she turned and saw him holding Rin. She said something to the two men she was with, then glided over.

"You clean up well," he said, causing Rin to roll her eyes at the understatement.

"Thanks." The smile on her face reflected the joy in her voice and subtle glittering in her hair. "You…don't look so bad yourself." Kagome had seen Sesshoumaru in a tux before, though only in pictures. He looked like the universe had invented that particular piece of men's formal wear specifically to be worn by him. She couldn't wait to get off him.

The simmering lust in Kagome's expression telegraphed her intentions, despite their very public location and the presence of Rin. He chuckled softly and shook his head. "Rin assured me earlier that she had an adequate nap today and she would have no problems staying awake until midnight." Conversation was best kept at a neutral, non-pornographic level.

Kagome snorted, lust not extinguished but cooled. She made a deal with Rin that she could help ring in the New Year only if she took a long, rare mid-day nap. Fortunately the Taishos had indulged her wishes to stay up past her bedtime while on vacation and, combined with the flight home, her messed-up sleep schedule ensured that she crashed hard that afternoon. "Stay up all night, sleep all day…little rock star. Just like your Daddy." Kagome affectionately pinched Rin's round cheek, making her giggle and squirm.

"Sounds like someone else I know."

"That's only when I have work," Kagome laughed. "And I haven't slept in in months."

Rin was excited with the prospect of doing such a grown-up thing as celebrating New Year's Eve until midnight. The year before, she remembered, she was told _Happy New Year, Baby! It's the first of January. Let's let your Daddy and Kagome sleep for a bit and we'll light a candle and tell each other our hopes for this year_ as her mother woke her up for breakfast. She was seized by a sudden constriction of Missing. Missing her Mommy and Daddy. It felt like something was squeezing her across the middle and tightening her throat. "Please can I stay at the hotel with you guys?"

"No, sweetie," Kagome said, gently stroking Rin's hair. She recognized the veil of sadness that shadowed the small face. The look of an orphan, one she had personal knowledge of. "Some other night the three of us will stay at a hotel, but not tonight. I think we'll stick with the plan of you going home with your grandparents after midnight. This party will go on for a while, and there is no way I'm letting you be up that late. We are here together now. That's the important thing." Kagome was relieved that Rin didn't protest further. She missed her niece and was thrilled that the girl was able to attend the party, especially after their separation, but out late on New Year's Eve was no place for a child, and she had plans for after that didn't accommodate a third, sleepy, cuddly individual.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said, "we'll do something together tomorrow afternoon. I don't have to work, and I want to see all the treasures you brought home from Florida." She seemed satisfied and he bent to put her down. "Now go to your grandparents. We'll be along in a minute."

Rin kissed him and scampered off. Sesshoumaru reached into a pocket and pressed a keycard into Kagome's palm. "Room 701. Your overnight bag is already up there. There are some people I'd like to introduce you to now though. Political and business acquaintances mainly, but I do have a few friends that I'd like you to meet as well."

Kagome blanched and nodded. His parents had already introduced her to the mayor, and though she felt she handled herself well, with no noticeable faux pas, she was a tad overwhelmed.

"I need to warn you…it won't take long for conversation to turn to matters of business investments and the market. I won't mind at all if you would prefer to spend your time with your friends. I'll be tied up with obligations until nearly midnight, and I'd rather you enjoy yourself than be bored putting up with me and my responsibilities as host."

Kagome relaxed immediately. _Hello, good to meet you_ she could do. Nodding and feigning interest in topics she found tedious…not so much. "Thanks. I wouldn't mind taking Rin down to the big, public party to dance with the other commoners."

He laughed. "Make sure you are both down there and on the stage at 11:50 for the countdown to midnight."

Kagome had a thought regarding certain customary behaviors at midnight on New Year's Eve and bit her bottom lip. "Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Of course."

"Are we going to kiss?" She blushed and felt like a middle schooler. "Well…I…would understand completely if you don't want to do a public display of affection. If you don't want people to get the wrong idea. Not that it's wrong…you know…if you—"

Her babbling was cut short by a firm kiss. "Does that answer your question?" It was a kiss that left no room for interpretation.

Kagome became aware of a very loud silence around them. She could almost feel the gravity and weight of the staring eyes and unspoken words. Sesshoumaru appeared unconcerned with anything and anyone other than her. It was nice, she had to admit, though she would have preferred to be alone and naked with him and his smoldering eyes. "Loud and clear."

"Good. Ah…there's the Lieutenant Governor and his wife. I need to play host with my parents. Come with me."

As they walked across the room, Kagome put the keycard in her clutch. Sesshoumaru realized he still hadn't gotten a chance to go up to the room and deal with Naraku's report. It hadn't been there when he was getting changed into his tuxedo, but surely it had been delivered by now. He hoped he would get ten minutes to go take care of it before he and Kagome retired to their room. He figured he had until sometime after midnight.

XxXxX

Kagura's smile exuded confidence and charm. A sparkling white and glossy red badge of privilege. She was born to this life, and this life had its benefits, at the moment surrounded by fawning admirers attending the most exclusive party of the year. To everyone around her, she was pleased with the situation.

Inwardly however, she fumed.

She had thought everything would go perfectly. Naraku would give her the damning evidence, and she in turn would present it as a gift to Sesshoumaru, who would then realize that the skinny bitch was trash and that she, Kagura, was the only woman worthy of him. It wasn't a complicated scenario.

She was so convinced of her own superiority, she couldn't imagine it not unfolding without a hitch.

Of course she hadn't imagined that her brother would betray her.

She wasn't exactly surprised—Naraku was a complete bastard after all. But he refused to give her even a single detail, just a tidbit that she could use to malign Kagome, and, insult to injury, told her he was motivated by her well being. _I'm doing you a favor. Letting you have this would be a rope to hang yourself. Sesshoumaru is not into you and the report won't make any difference. I'm keeping you from looking like a desperate idiot in front of everyone._ His false concern was unpalatable, and she would make certain he regretted his disloyalty.

Kagura had been nurturing her crush on Sesshoumaru for years, sparked when they were mere teens and kept alive during years apart and his continued aloofness, kindled by a few dates and their mothers' romantic notions. She had let her crush live on pure fantasy and stubbornness, and she was not about to admit defeat. She may no longer have the nuclear weapon of the report in her hands and was therefore unable to control the timing, but, according to her brother, Sesshoumaru was still going to see it. She could still _do_ something to debase the Higurashi woman.

The best option, she knew, was the rumor mill. Most of the people in the suite had been at the beach or skiing the past two weeks. The Caribbean and Aspen were voids of local society gossip, and the need to learn what had transpired in their absence, fueled by copious amounts of alcohol, was a convenient tool. If Sesshoumaru was not the one to be manipulated, she could turn to the weaker link. Kagome.

Kagura surveyed the scene and saw the perfect vector—a chattering buxom blonde and her equally empty-headed friends. Bethany Faircloth had been linked to Sesshoumaru romantically that summer. Nothing came of it after only one date, but Kagura knew the woman was an easy cog in the jealousy machine. She made her way to where Beth was drinking champagne with her friends.

Air-kisses exchanged, the women were thankful to have another participant in their game of speculation. "Kagura," Bethany said, "who is that woman with Sesshoumaru? She looks familiar, but I can't place her. Trina told me he kissed her. Here. On the mouth. I thought he was dating you."

Kagura couldn't have asked for a better opening. "Let me tell you what I heard about her."

XxXxX

Bethany looked across the room and sighed. There she was, the poor, parentless child, sweet and safe in her grandfather's arms. Nothing that Kagura told her was surprising. Everyone knew of the Taisho's charitable generosity. The girl, of course, was family, but the fact that they took in the aunt, who was apparently destitute and mentally unsound with promiscuous skeletons in her closet, only reinforced their altruism. When she expressed concern that Sesshoumaru had developed romantic attachments to someone so beneath his stature, Kagura laughed and assured her that Sesshoumaru would never seriously connect himself to such a person, adding in a low voice that, knowing his ruthlessness in the business and real estate worlds, most likely meant he was using the woman to gain a foothold with the niece in order to eventually seek guardianship.

Bethany didn't consider herself someone who aired others' dirty laundry, which showed how little self-awareness the woman possessed. She saw her brother and his girlfriend at the bar and couldn't hurry over quickly enough, gossip burning a hole in her tongue.

XxXxX

"Rose, darling."

Mrs. Taisho turned to see one of her acquaintances from the country club join her and her friends. "Celia," she said, "Happy New Year. I'm so happy you were able to make it."

"Of course." The women embraced. "I just heard the news. You and Mai must be so pleased that Sesshoumaru and Kagura are finally getting serious."

Mrs. Taisho shook her head. The party was successful and she was enjoying herself, but this rumor troubled her. It was the second time in ten minutes that one of her friends had said something similar. "I'll admit that at one time that was indeed hoped for, but not anymore. He's seeing Kagome Higurashi. And I'm very happy for them."

"Oh? I was under the impression that she was penniless and had some…issues." The guest waved her hand indistinctly.

"Good heavens, no," Rose said. "She's a wonderful woman and well on her way to a becoming an established artist."

"Celia," one of the other friends said, "she's the one who did the new holiday wall hanging in my foyer. The abstract holly piece that you were admiring yesterday."

"_She_ did that?" Celia shrugged. "I just heard Caryn saying that the only reason your family is putting up with her is for the sake of your dear granddaughter. And that Kagura and Sesshoumaru—"

"No," Mrs. Taisho interrupted firmly. "I don't know how or why there is a mistaken idea about the arrangement Kagome has with us, but I can assure you that she has been a delightful addition to the family and is doing _us_ a favor by living on our property. She has been incredibly helpful in coming to terms with the loss of our younger son. I can honestly say she has brought about nothing short of a miracle for my family." She saw her husband nearby. "I'm sorry. Please excuse me a moment. Ken is currently unoccupied, and I need to speak with him."

She pulled Mr. Taisho aside. "Ken, have you seen Kagome and Rin lately?"

"They went down to dance an hour or so ago." He gave his wife an affectionate hug. "I overheard someone saying the strangest things. Apparently Kagome is taking advantage of our hospitality, is unfit to care for Rin, and is forcing herself on Sesshoumaru," he said, chuckling. "Have you ever heard anything so absurd?"

"I hope you corrected them." Rose didn't share the humor in the situation, despite the ridiculousness; she was too familiar with the damage gossip could do.

Mr. Taisho, thoroughly chastised, nodded.

"It appears the grapevine has gotten hold of some falsehoods. I plan to nip this in the bud. Completely unacceptable that people, our friends, believe slander like that." She kissed her husband's cheek and subtly wiped off lipstick. "Perhaps you should speak with Sesshoumaru. I think he would like to know what is being said."

XxXxX

Kagome, Rin, and Sango waited for the packed elevator to empty before exiting. Kagome and her friends had been downstairs at the public gathering, loving the music and manic celebration. Dozens of people they knew were there, all in various stages of drunken partying. She was having a ball, but as it got later and rowdier, she wanted to return Rin to the more sedate atmosphere of the private party. She thought after the swelling crowd and loud music that the suite would be a welcome refuge where she could carry on a conversation and spend a few minutes with Sesshoumaru.

"Where are they?" Rin demanded, anxious to show her grandparents and uncle her kitschy New Year's Eve tiara and noisemakers.

"Over there, Rin Rin." Kagome pointed to a large table across the room where Mr. and Mrs. Taisho were seated. "I'll be there in a few minutes." She watched Rin to make sure she made it to her destination.

"Hey girls," Jak called, waving nearby. He and Bank, attracted by the open bar and free food, had come back up earlier. "Just eighty-seven minutes left of this year."

"Damn. Were we down there that long?" Kagome scanned the crowd and saw Sesshoumaru, talking with a group of state senators. "Sango, is it my imagination, or were people staring at me in the elevator?"

Sango had a rule of never encouraging Kagome's insecurities, but this time she didn't think her friend was being paranoid. "Maybe. Don't pay any attention though."

"They were probably just curious about Sesshoumaru Taisho's new significant other," Bank said quickly.

"It's wasn't quite curiosity…more like…disgust and pity."

Bank and Jak exchanged glances. They had heard the rumors. "We're going to the bar," Jak said. "Want a drink?"

"God yes. I need one. Whiskey and diet."

"Club soda with lime."

Kagome couldn't shake the feeling that she was on display and that heads were turning to stare at her. "I guess I was expecting this. Do I still look okay? No lipstick on my teeth? No boogers?"

"You look fabulous," Sango said. "Just relax and enjoy yourself, honey."

Kagome raised a brow and smiled rakishly. "I suppose I should take advantage of the attention and try to drum up some clients. Mrs. Taisho's friends who hired me have given glowing recommendations and they all want to commission more work."

"That's the spirit," Sango said. "Oh no!" She spotted her visibly irritated husband talking with a man in a corner. "Miroku is talking to a lawyer he absolutely loathes. I'm going to go rescue him. Be right back."

XxXxX

Kagura was content to let gossip move as gossip moves—the more people who grab hold of a story and pass it along, the more tabloid, the more shocking it tends to become. As long as she was not seen as the instigator, she was fine. She told Bethany and her friends, all clearly jealous of the interloper, that she and Sesshoumaru had been dining together regularly and fed them a few other lies and half-truths, just enough of the right building blocks for them to construct a fabulous, scandalous story. And as she chatted with fellow party-goers and learned what was being said, she was not disappointed. There was even speculation about when she and Sesshoumaru would announce their wedding date and how quickly Kagura would ship Rin off to boarding school. She, of course, made sure to artfully deny an imminent engagement; she had to preserve the belief in Mrs. Taisho, who was staunchly defending Kagome's character, that she was not the source of the rumors.

Making her way back from the powder room, she felt like she had been handed a late-Christmas present—Kagome was standing a few feet away, alone. She pounced. "Hello, Kagome."

"Hi, Kagura. Nice to see you. Happy New Year."

"Your dress is spectacular," Kagura purred. "When you mentioned that you were making it, I didn't realize it would look like a real gown." She laughed lightly. "This isn't at all what I was picturing. I had no idea you were so talented." Kagura was capable of ass-kissing flattery when it suited her. Or at least, her version of it.

"Thanks," Kagome said, not wanting to know what Kagura had had in mind. She didn't know whether she was being insulted or complimented.

"Kagome," she said. "I need to speak with you. Friend to friend. I never contribute to gossip, but I thought you'd want to know about the rumors circulating. I've tried to keep them from spreading. I've told people that you are actually a very sweet girl and completely harmless."

Kagome despised the creepy condescension and feigned sincerity in Kagura's voice. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kagura sighed. "My brother was hired to investigate you. I don't know any specifics, but I believe some of the information he learned is less than favorable. I know you care about the Taisho family and your niece. At least until the arena referendum is passed, don't you think you should distance yourself from them? Ken and Rose have been so generous to you. I'm sure you don't want to make them look like fools."

Kagome tried to hold her temper in check by digging her nails into the palms of her hands. "I care about the Taishos very much," she said through clenched teeth. "They are my best friend's parents and my niece's grandparents. I wouldn't do anything to hurt them." The last thing she wanted was a confrontation, but she wasn't going to let Kagura intimidate her anymore. "Why do I think this sudden fake friend thing has more to do with the fact that Sesshoumaru and I are together? The Taishos have accepted me. Get over it. And anything that your cretin of a brother finds out about me is either something I'm not ashamed of or a bold-face fucking lie. I doubt the Taishos and Sesshoumaru care about other people's mistaken beliefs, other than to correct them."

Kagura stared at her with cold, flat hatred in her eyes. So the girl had a spine…but that didn't mean she wasn't finished. "You go ahead and tell yourself that. Don't say I didn't warn you when you find yourself used up and spit out. If Sesshoumaru is actually interested in you, which by the way I find difficult to believe, he'll tire of you before too long. The cute, quirky image you like will grow old and stale. Then what? Real men want real women. Not a waifish artsy _girl_ who can't afford to buy her own clothes."

Kagura spun and left before Kagome had an opportunity to get in a farewell Fuck You.

"Hey babe, here's your drink," Jak said. "Are you okay? You look a little flushed."

Kagome took her drink and downed it in two gulps. She breathed deeply and as the liquor calmed her anger, it was replaced by hot, devious doubt. "I don't know. Apparently there is a bunch of bullshit being told about me."

"Kagome," Bank said, "it's not that bad, just a few people blabbing. Mrs. Taisho is telling everyone how awesome you are and that you have their support."

Sango and Miroku joined them a moment later. "Did I just see you tell Kagura off?" Miroku asked. "I only see that look on her face when someone crosses her in the courtroom."

"I think that journalist asswipe hired Naraku to dig up shit about me." Kagome's panic level began to increase when she realized that her worst fears may be coming true. "Sango, what if Naraku figured out somehow about Scarlet? What if people find out about my column?" The pitch of her voice was starting to rise.

Sango took the ice-filled glass from Kagome's hand and forced her to look at her. "First, no freaking out. Stay calm. How many people know about Scarlet? Only a few, and none of us would say a word."

"I know but…in the information age, it doesn't take someone slipping up. He could hack into the paper's computer system. He could—"

"Kagome, I've read everything you've ever written. Even if that happened, and you shouldn't assume it did, you should try not to worry. You give sound, thoughtful advice. Yes, it can be racy…perverted," Sango added for the sake of veracity, "but there's nothing you need to regret. It's by far the most popular thing in _The Missing Link_; you should be proud of it."

The two women realized Miroku, Bank, and Jak were staring, mouths gaping.

"Wait…_what_?" Miroku said.

"You're Scarlet?" Bank echoed.

"Yes, I'm Scarlet," Kagome said, irritated that they were focused on her secret identity and not the fact that someone had potentially violated her privacy. "And you all are idiots for not realizing it." She leveled her gaze at Jak. "You especially. How many times have I asked you some sex-related question, wanting a gay man's perspective, only to have a nearly identical issue appear in the column the following week?" She shook her head. "You three won't mention this to anyone else."

"Of course not, Kagome," Bank said, recovering first. "You know you can trust us."

"Listen…I'm getting a headache. I've got ibuprofen in my overnight bag. I'll be back in a little while."

"Do you want me to go up with you?" Sango asked.

"No. I'm okay." She fed on the confidence boost she had gotten from standing up to Kagura. "I can't rely on you guys forever. I'll be back soon."

Kagome steeled herself and took the stairs to the seventh floor and went into room 701. There was only a single lamp on, but even in the dim light she could tell the room was spacious and well furnished. The curtains had been left open, showing a gorgeous view of the courtyard sculpture garden. Her bag was lying on the bed, but what drew her attention was a thick folder and CD-ROM on the desk. Her heart hammered as she picked it up and opened to the first page. It was an invoice.

_Payment of $25,000 received, 3:00 pm, 31 December 2007_

The second page was an overview of the contents. Three things jumped out and rattled her bones.

_State v. Harrison, defense documentation, witness statements, trial transcript pp 12-793_

_Police report, domestic dispute, 300 block of Mercymore Avenue, 15 September 2001; interview with Officer Dale Fischer, 1 October 2007 pp 794-797_

_Interview with Mason Harrison, 7 November 2007 pg 822_

The journalist she thought had been investigating her was a mistake. It had been Naraku from the beginning, apparently at the behest of Sesshoumaru. Kagome felt like the floor beneath her gave out and she was left alone, to spiral down.

XxXxX

"Sesshoumaru, may I have a word?" Ken Taisho found his son having a heated exchange with a recalcitrant member of the city council, but he decided an interruption was warranted. They stepped into a quiet corner. "Your mother and I naturally expected there would be gossip making the rounds tonight about you and Kagome. Unfortunately much of it has to do with some mistaken impressions of Kagome and your relationship. Your mother is speaking with everyone she meets to contradict the falsehoods, but we both thought you should know."

"That explains whispers about Kagome and the inexplicable congratulations I've received on my engagement to Kagura. We've had a handful of business lunches together." Sesshoumaru shook his head, wondering if Naraku had broken his word or if people were simply running away with the collective, elitist imagination. "This is out of control. Is Kagome back?" He wondered how much she had heard and the damage done.

"Rin is with your mother, and she said Kagome came up with her, but I haven't seen her since nine thirty."

"I'm going to find her. It's quarter after eleven. We'll meet you downstairs in a half an hour for the countdown."

Bank, Jak, Sango, and Miroku were sitting at a table in the other room; Kagome wasn't with them. As he walked toward them, Kagura appeared in front of him, wearing a wide, predatory grin.

"Alone at last?"

He grasped her upper arms and moved her out of his path. "Kagura, I respect you as a friend of the family and an employee of the corporation. I have nothing else to say to you, other than stay out of my personal life and if you ever utter another unkind word to or about Kagome you'll find yourself out of a job and ostracized from society."

He ignored her stuttering protests of innocence and swiftly walked to the table. There was no time for courtesy. "Do you know where Kagome is? I've been tied up playing host and didn't realize that people I thought were friends are vipers in disguise."

The group at the table understood he had heard some of the rumors and was clearly irritated. "She went up to your room," Sango said. "Ibuprofen mission. She should have been back by now though."

Sesshoumaru had a crippling sense of dread. Naraku's report was most likely sitting in an obvious place in room 701. "Shit."

XxXxX

Kagome was sitting on the bed, surrounded by papers. She didn't look up at Sesshoumaru when he entered the room. "You paid for this?"

"Kagome, it's not what you think."

She met his eyes. Hers were full of sadness and disappointment. "I don't know what I think. Here's a sample of what I've been reading." She picked up a sheet. "This is Naraku's summary of the defense at the trial of the man who tried to kill me. 'The defense wanted to paint a picture of Mason Harrison as the true victim. Good, clean-cut boy seduced by Kagome Higurashi, who they intended to show dominated him sexually and coerced him into a deviant lifestyle. The night in question was an unfortunate event of consensual sexual sadism that had gotten out of control. This line of defense was not allowed, and I wonder how successful it would have been. The photographs that they said were Higurashi at bondage parties dressed in black leather were actually her twin sister. She called the cops several times to report that he was harassing her. And though the interviews of her previous sexual partners indicate she was kinky, none said she was very interested in BDSM. But given that she was no virginal angel, had they been able to sit a jury with a few slut shamers on it, there would have been a decent chance that he would have gotten a divided jury.'"

She traded it for another. "Here's the police report from the night of my suicide attempt. It says, 'the two parties indicate the confrontation was overblown and both had calmed down.' No arrests. However, there's an interview with that cop, dated October of this year. 'Officer Fischer,'" she read, "'reveals that the police report left out information. They had both been upset. The male, Inuyasha Taisho, had hastily bandaged hands and visible blood on his shirt. The female, whose name is not remembered but he was told was the sister of Taisho's wife, was crying and apologizing repeatedly. Neither cooperated with questioning. There was a bloody knife in the sink. The male victim asked that Officer Fischer leave the woman alone, that she had been through a lot and she would be okay. Officer Fischer does not acknowledge that he was influenced by the last name of the victim, but I suspect the only reason that Kagome Higurashi wasn't arrested for assault or taken to a psychiatric ward was because a Taisho told him to leave them be. He strongly implies that he believed they were involved in some sort of torrid affair behind the wife/sister's back, and I got him to admit that he knew how powerful the Taisho's were and that arresting either would mean opening a can of political worms that, as a rookie cop, he wanted nothing to do with.'"

Kagome began to gather up the papers, still avoiding looking at him. "What _should_ I think? I told you about the things that had happened to me. Did you think I was leaving something out? Did you think I was lying?"

"No, Kagome. Of course not."

"Then _why_? Why did you hire him to write this?"

"I didn't. I wouldn't. I haven't even seen it until now. And I meant to get rid of it before you came up here."

"Oh…you were just going to hide it from me?" she asked harshly. "Don't you think I have a right to know that it exists?"

"Kagome, I'm sorry. May I sit?"

Kagome hesitated. The spiny fingers of betrayal, which had threatened to choke her while she was reading, still clutched tightly. "Go ahead," she said, not moving to make room for him.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Is that a serious question? No, I'm not okay. Why do you have this? Why is this in our room?"

"Naraku came to see me today. He said Kagura asked him to continue the investigation of you he started earlier this year. When he realized he could make some money, he offered to sell it to me instead. He said there was some potentially unsavory content, and I thought it would be better if it were in my possession rather than Kagura's. So I agreed and asked him to have it delivered here. I didn't mean for you to see it. At least not tonight."

The cruel fingers began to ease their grip. Her world made sense again. "Are there other copies?"

"I don't think so."

"You trust him?"

"Not really, but I didn't see that I had much choice. I wanted to protect you from embarrassment."

"Sesshoumaru…you can't fight my battles for me." She picked up a paper. "Twenty-five _thousand_ dollars. Fuck." She glared at the report, deep in thought. After a long moment, she looked at him with a determined glint in her eyes. "I can pay you back half of it now. I have about that much in savings. I can have the rest paid off by this time next year."

"Kagome, I'm not taking your money."

"I can't let this be, Sesshoumaru. I can't be obligated to you like this."

"You're not obligated. It doesn't matter."

"It does. It matters a lot. I'm not…mad at you…but this is too much."

He knew it was more than just pride; her self-respect, their equality were on the line. He understood, but he was still not going to let her pay him. "It's not, considering it was at my family's request that he started digging up dirt on you in the first place. Think of this as making things right for what we put you through this spring. Or at least a gesture. Trying to take Rin away from you was inexcusable."

He moved closer to her, and she let him draw her close.

"The funny thing is," she said, "I don't even think this report is that bad. There aren't any mentions of my suicide attempt and depression or that I write an anonymous sex-advice column. That was my real fear. That my history and sexuality would be open for public scrutiny. But, other than my college transcripts, a rather thorough list of past clients, and the few speeding tickets I've had, it's mostly just a lot of bullshit. Inuyasha and I would never have betrayed Kikyou, even if we hadn't regarded each other as siblings. And given the amount of evidence presented at the trial, only a repressed misogynist would believe the story that I was some sex-crazed femme fatale." She paused, thinking of the bullet she dodged. "Of course, I'm still glad that _I_ have it and not Kagura."

"I'm sorry it happened this way," Sesshoumaru said. "I didn't want this kind of drama to ruin the night. But I'm glad to know that your past is still private and your secret is still safe."

"Yeah…but apparently Kagura was busy anyway." Her voice took on a hard edge. "I heard that I was grist for the rumor mill tonight, despite you spending twenty-five thousand fucking dollars to keep things quiet."

"Don't worry about what people say. My parents are in damage control mode."

"Damage control. The words make it sound like you are ashamed of me. Kagura told me I should separate myself from your family for the sake of the arena vote. That I reflect badly on you."

"Nothing could be further from the truth. Think of us as a united front, defending a family member. Because that's what you are." He paused, then reached into a pocket and pulled out a small, hinged box. Though not an impulsive person, he couldn't wait any longer. It felt right. "Kagome, I really didn't want to do it like this. I've been carrying this around for the past two days, waiting for the perfect opportunity…" He took her hand and pressed the box into it. "Will you marry me?"

The blood drained from Kagome's face as looks of disbelief and confusion took turns. "Wha…_what_? Marriage? Where did this come from? We've only been together for a month."

He didn't know what to expect, but he had hoped for a more positive reaction. "Maybe we've only been sleeping together for a month, but you've been important to me for much longer. Since Christmas, I haven't stopped thinking about our future, and your importance to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in it. Not simply as a friend, not simply as Rin's aunt."

"But…" Some of the color began to return to her face, and she tried on a small, tentative smile. "But what about your parents? You said they think of me as family, but are you sure they're on board. I mean, it's one thing to have a silly, freaky woman living next door _temporarily_—"

"My father said this morning, and this is a direct quote, 'When are you going to ask her? Rin wants a baby cousin.'"

Kagome turned white as a sheet. A marriage proposal was a shock—she hadn't ever considered herself having mother potential. "Okay…I…wow. How long can I think about this?"

"As long as you need."

Kagome stood and went to the window. She took a quick assessment. She loved him. She loved the Taishos. She knew Rin would be ecstatic. She knew, despite their differences, they were compatible, both in and out of bed. He didn't fight dirty. He was getting better at communication. He respected her; he valued her opinion; he treated her as an equal.

Above all, she loved him.

Kagome hesitantly opened the box, fearing a huge, gaudy, in-your-face diamond, like she had seen on the hands of so many women at the party. She let out a small, surprised gasp when she saw the ring. It was a black opal in an intricate filigree setting. The gemstone glittered in the shining city lights as if it had life. She gently pulled the ring from its velvet cushion and slipped it on her finger. Like Cinderella trying on a glass shoe, it fit perfectly. Kagome turned to him, standing anxiously, and nodded.

He crossed the room in three strides and pulled her into his arms. "You had me worried."

"The ring is beautiful. How do you know me so well?" she asked, circling her arms around his neck, pressing her body to his.

"You taught me to listen." He kissed her. "So yes?"

"Yes. Yes a million times." She laughed; the evening had not turned out anything like she thought it would. "Can we have a small wedding?"

"We can have whatever we want." He kissed her again, regretting that they had to go back to the party. The intense relief that she hadn't said No made him horny.

Kagome pulled back. She placed her hands on either side of his face and stared into his eyes. "Are you sure? I mean…are you really sure? Because I only want to do this once."

"I've never been more sure of anything. Are you?"

"I'm freaking fucking out…but yes. I'm sure." Her smile turned melancholy. "I wish they were here."

He understood the reference. "My brother actually offered on several occasions to set me up with you. He said we'd make a perfect couple. I thought he was being dense."

"Inuyasha could be pretty wise," Kagome said, tightening her arms around him, her best friend's brother, her lover. "I suppose we should get back to the party. What time is it?"

He let her go with some reluctance and looked at his watch. "Oh shit," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her out the door. "We've got to run. It's eleven fifty one."

XxXxX

Kagome and Sesshoumaru waded through the sea of humanity that filled the large ballroom and joined the Taishos and Rin, held by her grandfather to avoid being trod upon, on the stage. The mayor, council members, Taisho Incorporated bigwigs were also there, ready for the countdown to midnight that would begin in three minutes. The music and noise were too loud for conversation, so Kagome, blushing furiously, merely held her left hand up for inspection. She could almost hear Rin's high-pitched squeal when she realized what it meant. After long hugs and a few tears from her future in-laws, Kagome searched the crowd for a glimpse of her friends. They had seen the display on the stage and were already pushing their way to the front of the ballroom. The politicians and businessmen offered their congratulations to Sesshoumaru with handshakes and slaps on the back.

The large digital clock that had been brought in for the night showed 11:59, causing a spike in the noise and excitement level.

Just as Sango, Miroku, Jak, Bank, and several other friends climbed the stage, the DJ cut the music and began the countdown.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight!" The crowd added its collective voice.

"Seven!"

Kagome, who had become separated from Sesshoumaru, craned her neck to see him.

"Six!"

Sesshoumaru reached out and pulled her to him.

"Five!"

"Four!"

Sesshoumaru didn't feel like waiting. He tilted her chin up and covered her mouth with his.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!" Balloons fell; confetti was thrown. It was the one night a year when noisemakers lost a small portion of their obnoxiousness.

"Happy two thousand eight!" the DJ yelled over the mike, his voice beginning to crack. The opening words of Prince's 1999 came over the speakers, much to the crowd's delight.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru parted and immediately grabbed Rin and planted kisses all over her face. The three were then swarmed by the group of friends.

XxXxX

An hour later, the party continued, but the size of the crowd had been halved. The overwhelming opinion was that the celebration was an unqualified success. There was the usual number of problems associated with a high concentration of drunken individuals, but no violence or damage to the property occurred. The hotel was booked; taxis constantly rotated, pulling up to the doors and leaving a moment later with riders going home; those who remained seemed more interested in sobering up than drinking more. The mayor was already talking about making this party a city tradition.

Rin, with half-hearted, yawning protestations, had left with the Taishos shortly after midnight to be put to bed. Kagome was dancing with Sango, Jak, and Kanna.

Sesshoumaru stood back and watched. For all the credit he deserved in the accomplishment, rushing the hotel opening and orchestrating the party, none of it mattered. He only had eyes for Kagome, who, a minute before, had run up to him, kissed him hard, whispered loudly in his ear, and went back to dance.

_I love you too, Kagome_.

A/N

I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own Glenfiddich products. Just one chapter (epilogue) left. Sorry for the extreme length of this chapter-nearly 10,000 words-I thought about splitting it, but didn't. Thanks for reading. Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated.


	37. Baby Makes Four

Baby Makes Four

_Dear Scarlet, My wife and I decided to become a vegetarians a few months ago. I only lasted a couple days, but she took it a step further and is now a vegan. She promised she wouldn't become one of those Holier Than Thou types (like all her damn hippy friends), but now when she gives me head, she refuses to swallow. Because I eat meat. She says she doesn't like how I taste anymore compared to when I tried the veggie thing. I feel like she's breaking her promise. Do I really taste any different? Because I feel like she is making it up to punish me for wanting to eat something besides rabbit food all the time. Do you think she's out of line? How do I get her to finish a blowjob again? Signed, Meat Eating Man_

"Oh shit. Do I want to touch this one?"

Sesshoumaru, seated next to Kagome on the sofa, looked up from his newspaper. "Hm?"

"Vegan versus meat eater. Good things rarely come of it."

"I thought you were working on your column."

"I am." She screwed up her face, thoughtful, and began to type.

_Dear Meat, I understand that you are disappointed that your wife's dietary change has negatively impacted your sex life. I can't address your flavor and how it relates to what you consume, since I've never sucked your cock. There is a general semen-y taste, and, though I've never done a blind experiment, I'd say that each individual man has a quality that makes him unique. It may or may not be associated with food intake. This is all beside the point—it is up to your wife what she decides to ingest. Plenty of women decline swallowing because they don't enjoy it, not because they seek to punish their partners. Rather than address your sense of entitlement, I would prefer to offer a compromise. Assuming she enjoyed swallowing before becoming vegan and she would like to resume the practice, ask her if she would do it if you refrained from eating meat that day. It's not going to kill you to eat vegetables/grains/tofu for a day once a week or every few days or however often you'd like this particular item back on the sex menu. If she determines it isn't good enough, you could offer to give up dairy as well. Or maybe she would agree to let you come in her mouth and then she could spit and rinse. What you two really need to do though is sit down and discuss if this is about oral sex or possible mutual resentment about diverging lifestyles. I once knew a couple who was half almost-vegan and half never-vegan. They worked out their differences and accommodated each other beautifully. You and your wife can too._

Sesshoumaru tried to see what she had typed, but the angle was wrong. After almost a year of marriage, he could finally sit next to her while she was Scarlet and not initiate sex before she finished. Unfortunately the _Wall Street Journal_ was not sufficiently interesting at the moment.

"Good god," Kagome muttered. "Can I please get a two week moratorium on penis insecurity posts?" She slapped away the hand that was pushing her skirt up and caressing the exposed flesh. "I thought you were learning patience," she said to him, more amused than annoyed. She began typing again. After a few minutes, Kagome set her laptop on the coffee table and stood. "Do you want anything from the kitchen?"

"No, thank you."

He watched her in the kitchen as she put away now-dry dinner dishes while water on the stove heated. Even doing something as mundane as making tea, he found her sexy as hell. As soon as her back was turned, he leaned over and read the words on her computer screen.

_Dear Penis Envy, Those male enhancement ads and spam that insist women want/prefer/need a large cock exist to make you feel shitty in order for you to buy their product or service. Of all the individual factors that contribute to a guy being decent in bed, penis size is at the bottom of terms of actual importance and the top in terms of mythology and created, artificial anxiety. If only there was a pill for ability to locate the clitoris, have a tongue that doesn't get tired, listen to cues, and take an interest in the other person's orgasm… Seriously, I'd rather screw an attentive guy with a four-inch dick than a huge guy with no imagination, a bad attitude, or even bad breath. I will admit that, sure, some people prefer a well-hung partner, but perhaps the reason is they too have bought into the fiction that bigger is always better. Or maybe all their experience with small penises is that they are connected to insecure, whiny men. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but what I'm trying to say is You Can Be A Great Lover, Even If You Aren't Packing A Giant Third Leg. My current partner is slightly smaller than average in the size department, but we have plenty of fun in the sack because he doesn't worry about it. Instead of fretting that women will kick you out of the boudoir when they see you naked, work on your confidence. _

He wanted to scroll up and see the wording of the original question, but he heard the whistle of the teakettle and Kagome coming back. He waited for her to set the steaming teacup down before he grabbed her. "Slightly below average, am I?" he said, nuzzling her neck.

"I love how predictable you are." She straddled his legs and began to unbutton his shirt. "Remind me to take out that sentence before I send it to my editor." She moaned and arched her back as he kissed up her neck and teased the skin under her sweater. Until his hands reached her chest. "Ow…be gentle with the boobs."

"Still sore?" he asked.

"Yeah. I know I've only been off the pill for two months and it will take a little while for my cycle to normalize, but I thought my period would come four days ago." Kagome stopped short and sat up, a blank look on her face. She blinked twice, then stood, leaving Sesshoumaru more than a little perplexed. "I'm going to run to the pharmacy. Be right back," she said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do at seven forty-five on a Saturday evening.

She grabbed her purse and was out the door before he could even comment.

XxXxX

Twenty-two minutes later, Kagome strode in and walked through the living room without even glancing at Sesshoumaru. He heard the bathroom door close and resisted the urge to follow her. He tried to read the newspaper, but the words ran together in a jumble of incoherence. After two minutes he gave up and simply tried not to get too excited. He did not have to wait long.

"FUCK!"

It was not what he anticipated, and Sesshoumaru had no idea how to interpret the shouted expletive. She certainly did not sound pleased. But he would have anticipated a negative to produce a different kind of upset—disappointment or sadness, not near-anger.

Kagome walked into the living room and sat next to him, movements slow like she had been drugged. "I'm pregnant." She looked up at him, a bewildered expression on her face. "I'm fucking pregnant."

He was at a loss to explain her reaction. "Kagome, what's wrong? I thought…that's what you wanted. What _we_ wanted."

Kagome snapped out of the land of My Life Has Just Changed Forever and back into the present. She realized he was confused and worried, and she felt horrible. "It is," she said quickly, shifting so she was sitting closer to him. "It is. I guess I'm just in shock. I thought it would take longer. I had visions of monitoring basal body temperature and charting ovulation. I thought we'd be trying to conceive for months." She sighed. "I thought I'd have more time to get used to the idea. I'm just afraid I'm not ready to be somebody's mom." She let him pull her onto his lap and hold her close.

"You were ready two months ago," he gently reminded her. "And you already are somebody's mom. Just because Rin isn't your daughter, doesn't mean you haven't been acting as her mother for going on two years."

"I know…I'm just a little freaked." Kagome lifted her head off his shoulder, face lit by a scared smile. "I'm pregnant," she giggled. "I'm going to have a baby." The smile gained confidence. "We're going to have a baby."

This was what he had been waiting for. The excitement, the hope, the giddy expectation. "Should we go next door and share the news? Rin is probably still awake; it's not even eight thirty."

Kagome shook her head and leaned against him again. "Can we wait and tell them at breakfast tomorrow? I want this to be just us tonight. Our little treasure to horde in peace for the twelve hours before we tell your mother and all hell comes undone."

"Good idea." Mrs. Taisho's hints that they should hurry up and procreate had begun the day they returned from their honeymoon and in the last six months turned into a full-scale assault of long drawn-out, unsubtle sighs. All her friends had baby grandchildren to cuddle and none of them were getting any younger and her greatest fear was dying before she could hold another infant Taisho. Never mind that she was barely in her mid-fifties with no health problems. "As long as we tell her that we only just found out. I think if she knew we sat on this information overnight, she may kill me. I'm glad you know how to handle my parents better than I do."

Kagome laughed. Her self-conscious apprehension quickly turned to pensive bliss. They sat without talking, occasionally looking at one another and grinning, all out-of-control and happy. It did not take long for their closeness, the heat of their bodies to overcome the new parent-to-be fuzzy happiness and soon they were naked and moaning, buried and lost in each other.

Afterward, Kagome pulled the throw over them to stay warm and keep the rest of the world out, if only for a few more minutes. "Sesshoumaru…what would you think about us adopting Rin? I mean, as you said, we act as her parents. We're bringing a baby into the household. Maybe we should make it official."

He nodded. He had begun to think of the three of them as a nuclear family since the day after their engagement. "We should probably ask Rin first."

"I agree."

Though there was never any doubt what Rin's answer would be.

XxXxX

Sango felt the sweat run between her breasts, soaking the silk of her dress, and decided she had had enough. She scooped her son up, distracting him with tickles and kisses, and returned to the table where her friends sat. "Tag," she said to her husband, depositing their offspring in his lap, "you're it."

"Daisuke," Miroku chuckled, "are you wearing Mommy out already?" Daisuke immediately squirming, trying to get down and back in action, answered his question. Miroku set him on the grass and followed as the boy was off again, straight to the koi pond that Sango had been trying to keep him from.

Kagome nudged Sesshoumaru with her elbow. "Go with. You need the experience."

Sesshoumaru rubbed the swell of her belly and kissed her before getting up. Kagome's body had finally begun to visibly change, and he had a difficult time keeping his hands off her. "I'll be back."

Sango sighed and picked up her gin and tonic. The ice had melted but it was still cold. "Late-summer weddings should be banned. Thank god, I'm not pregnant this year. Isn't the humidity getting to you, Kagome?"

"Nah," Kagome said. "I'm fine. Do you want to go inside to the air conditioning?"

"No, I'm better already just sitting in the shade." She finished her drink. "And not chasing my little monster."

Kouga stood and stretched. After spending the past hour in the ninety-degree heat, a few minutes in the air-conditioned inn sounded quite nice. "Sango, let me get you a new drink. Ayame, Chardonnay? Kagome?"

Kagome's pleasant expression soured. So far, midway through her second trimester, her pregnancy had been an easy one. She had little nausea in the early months, was able to sleep as much as she needed, and had no problems with heartburn or swelling. Her body was a source of constant amazement—the glow of her skin and thickness of her hair; the new curves of her breasts and abdomen, complete with a darkening line that started at her navel and ran south; the fetus inside that kicked and moved, proof that she was indeed growing a baby. The thing Kagome did not like was the prohibition against social drinking. She had allowed herself a half glass of red wine at dinner two nights before, meaning, for her, this wedding was a strictly alcohol-free event. "Jack and Sprite," she growled.

Kouga could not help but laugh. "I forgot the code words. Is that an iced tea or a lemonade?"

"It's a fucking club soda with lemon." She sat back and pouted. "Stupid pregnancy."

"Just another four months," Sango said. "Of course, then you'll be nursing, but…_what is he thinking_?" She had been watching Miroku and Daisuke as they played by the koi pond. Miroku was currently letting him dip his feet in. Daisuke tried to climb all the way in, but Miroku kept a hand on his shoulder, much to his son's irritation. Sango knew how this would end—with a soaking wet kid.

"Goddam they're cute," Kagome said. She could not stop grinning; she would have a father-baby combo of her own soon.

"I can't believe he took his first steps a few weeks ago," Ayame said. "He's walking like a pro."

"I know. At first, it was great. He was so adorable toddling around. Now I get tired just watching him. He never stops moving. I had no idea with his newfound ability would come the destruction of life as I know it."

Kagome snorted at Sango's exaggeration; she had no idea how much worse it would get. "I remember when Rin became mobile. Wait until he learns how to climb."

Sango took a mental inventory of her house, worrying about bookcases and ladder shelves and steps to the basement. "My poor cats. They aren't going to be able to escape him. He's going to turn one next week. Miroku and I thought about trying for baby number two soon. He thinks a two-year gap is ideal. But I don't know if I can handle being pregnant while he's so active. It doesn't help that the boy has no fear of anything. I can't take my eyes off him for a second."

"Oh!" Ayame exclaimed. "Do it anyway! Kouga and I are going to start trying to conceive next month, after my sister's bachelorette party. We can all be pregnant together."

Sango pondered the benefits of companionship during pregnancy weighed against extreme exhaustion. "I'll think about it. I guess he's not going to slow down for a long time."

"Hey, girls!" Jak said. He, Bank, and Kouga were loaded down with drinks. "There's a lull before the cake is served, so we can sit for a little while. Kanna looks like an angel. You outdid yourself on the dress, Kagome."

Kagome's dissatisfaction with her non-alcoholic beverage nestled among the cocktails and glasses of wine was ameliorated by Jak's praise. He knew how to appreciate costuming. "Thanks! She's ethereal in white, isn't she?" Kagome loved being able to exercise her creativity in dress design and Kanna, with her pale skin, platinum hair, dark eyes, and innocent, youthful features, was a perfect canvas. "Aaron can't stop looking at her. They're going to have some gorgeous photos."

Jak handed her the club soda and gave her a swift kiss. "Your baby bump is really starting to show. So cute."

"Yep. I can't fit in my jeans anymore. Even the ultra-low-rise ones."

"Well you look fabulous," Bank said. "How do you feel?"

"Still tired. All the time. I'm fine in the morning, but mid-afternoon I start feeling worn out. By dinnertime, I'm exhausted. I haven't been able to stay awake past nine for four months. I gave Sesshoumaru permission to fuck me while I'm asleep, but he says he prefers me conscious. So we have lots of morning sex."

"Hi, Rin!" Sango announced, so Kagome could clean up her language and change the subject.

"Hey, baby," Kagome said as she whipped around, hoping Rin had been out of earshot a moment earlier. She pulled Rin onto her disappearing lap. "How you holding up? Is my flower girl wilting in the heat?"

The heat was not Rin's problem. Standing for pose after pose of group photos, long after the novelty of being a member of the wedding party had begun to deteriorate, was the problem. "I'm okay. You guys didn't take this many pictures when you got married."

Kagome smiled at the memory. Her and Sesshoumaru's wedding had been smaller and much less formal than the lavish affair they were attending. Only closest friends were invited; Kagome followed her sister's example and eschewed white; the wedding party consisted of Sango and Miroku; an intimate dinner and drinks followed the exchange of vows. Though she could have had the fanciest fairy tale wedding that money could buy, Kagome thought their simple ceremony and reception were perfect. "We did things a little differently."

Rin nodded. She had been thrilled when Kanna asked her to be her flower girl. The dress was pretty and poofy, and she loved the attention during the procession down the aisle of the cathedral, tossing flower petals and encouraging the much-younger ringer bearer to come out from his hiding place. Now though, hot and tired of standing still for the camera, she appreciated Kagome and Sesshoumaru's easy, casual wedding. She just wanted to eat cake and go home. "Where's Uncle Sess…my Dad?"

The attention of everyone seated around the large table was now focused on Rin. The word _dad_ was new.

The adoption had been finalized a few months ago. When it was first proposed, Kagome and Sesshoumaru explained to Rin that it would not change anything about who her parents were or her relationship to them. Rin mostly understood this; she had three friends at school who were adopted. At first, calling her uncle _dad_ was an experiment to see how this new title would affect the way she thought about her father. He still felt like her father and she still missed him so hard it hurt. But calling her uncle Dad felt right. It did not take away any of the love she had for her parents or make her remember them any differently. Now it was simply a matter of overcoming habit. Rin noticed that everyone was staring at her with indulgent, surprised expressions, and she looked to Kagome for help.

"Go ahead, honey."

"Inuyasha is my Daddy. He'll always be my Daddy. And Sesshoumaru is my Dad now. I can have both."

Kagome could have sworn half her friends looked away with tears in their eyes. The occasional reminder that two people were missing from their group and that hole would never be filled never failed to affect them. "Perfect explanation. And to answer your question, he's with Miroku and Daisuke." She gestured to the general direction of the pond. "But honey, you may need to be in another photo session, so I think you'd be better off keeping your dress away from there."

"Rin Rin," Kouga said after collecting himself, "are you going to call Kagome Mom as well?"

Rin shook her head. "Kagome will always be Kagome."

It was Kagome's turn to get teary. She pulled Rin closer, buried her face in the girl's hair, and inhaled deeply. "There's no one I'd rather be," she whispered.

"Rin, do you want a brother or a sister?" Bank asked, christening the official-ness of this new level of the Higurashi-Taisho relationship. He and Jak had been dating for seven years and a committed couple for six. They were happy together, successful, and knew that their experience with the next generation was limited to their family and friends' children. Rin, however, was special. She was the remaining piece of a couple he had thought eternal. "And what would you name him or her?"

Rin smiled and shrugged. She had been preoccupied with this question for months. Her best friend, Jordan, had a little brother whom she loved. Shippou, her other best friend, was a boy. She liked boys. But a big part of her wanted the baby to be a girl, if only because she knew the clothes were better. "I think I want a sister. And I think her name should be…Ponyo. She's a cute little fish-girl in a movie I saw last week with Dad and Kagome."

Kagome laughed. "Ponyo _was_ really cute, but I don't think your Dad would go for it."

"Anything is better than the name you came up with," Sesshoumaru said, retaking his seat next to Kagome. He held out his arms to Rin, who eagerly crawled into them. She knew her days of having unlimited access to their laps were numbered, both because of the new baby and because she was almost seven—a bit big to be acting like a little kid.

"What is your name, Kagome?" Ayame asked.

"Rook," Kagome said defiantly.

"_Rook_?" Jak said. "Like the bird…or the chess piece?"

"Either…neither," Kagome said with a shrug. "I went on a Robotech binge a few weeks ago. I just like the name."

"But it's not a name," Sesshoumaru said. They had been through this multiple times already. And rather than convince her to consider other, more conventional, but no less creative ideas, he discovered his wife's unreasonable stubbornness had no limits, including saddling a possible daughter with an unwieldy name.

"It's a name if I say it is." Kagome put on her Don't Even Try It scowl.

"So what's your boy name?" Sango asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?" Jak asked.

"Because I don't want a boy."

Sango frowned. An itchy defensiveness poked her. "Why not? Boys are fun. I love my little boy."

"Yeah, why not, Kagome?" Bank said. "Nothing's wrong with boys."

"Nothing is wrong with boys. I just don't want one. I want a girl." Kagome smoothed her hands over her small, round belly possessively. "I want a girl. I want a girl and I want to name her Rook."

Jak looked from Kagome to Sesshoumaru and back to Kagome. "How does he put up with you?"

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru, playful and challenging. "He knew he signed up for goofy names when he married me."

Sesshoumaru shook his head to stifle a laugh. There were moments when she caught him off guard, when she grabbed the place she occupied in his heart and squeezed, reminding him how amazing she was. "I don't recall that in our wedding vows."

"It was part of the prenup," Kagome said, trying to maintain a straight face. There was, of course, no prenuptial agreement. "In the fine print."

"As fascinating as this marriage and breeding banter is," Jak said, voice ripe with sarcasm, "we should get back inside. It'll be cake cutting time shortly, and I need to make sure the bride and groom are ready."

"I need to get my son cleaned up," Sango said, grabbing her diaper bag. "And my husband apparently." Both Miroku and Daisuke were wet and flecked with green slime from splashing in the water.

"And you ask why I don't want a boy. Exhibit number one." Kagome conveniently ignored the fact that Toddler Rin would have done exactly the same thing.

"So they're done traumatizing my fish?"Jak said without meaning it; Daisuke had full access to the pond on his babysitting days. "The koi poop in that water, you know. Use the tub in our bathroom to wash him off. We'll wait to cut the cake."

"I'll help," Kagome said. "That looks like a two-person job." She got up and, after kissing Rin and Sesshoumaru, went with Sango.

Rin perked up at the mention of cake. This was what she had been waiting for. "Kanna said I could have a big piece with a frosting flower on it."

"I suppose you'll be needed for some pictures of the wedding party with the cake," Sesshoumaru said. He carried Rin toward the inn.

"Dad…do you want a boy or a girl?"

He thought for only a moment. "Rin, I just want the baby to be healthy. That's more important than if it's a boy or a girl." He smoothed a wild curl from her face. "I hope what Kagome said didn't bother you. She will love the baby just as much as if it's a boy."

Rin nodded. "I know. She was mostly being silly. Kagome is made of love."

He couldn't think of a better way to describe her.

XxXxX

When the day finally came, it was more or less a surprise. Of course, no one can be entirely prepared for the birth of one's child, and Kagome and Sesshoumaru were aware that the baby would arrive at some vague point in the future. Kagome was due on December tenth, which was over two weeks away. They regarded it as less of a date and more of a window, and, still carrying high, she thought she would stay pregnant until well into the third week of December. She and Sesshoumaru had spent the last month fantasizing that their baby's birth would be sometime shortly before Christmas, wondering if it would be cold, if there would be snow on the ground, if Rin would still be in school. All their speculation certainly was in a cheerfully oblivious, post-Thanksgiving context.

The day began like a normal fourth Monday of November. Kagome had an assortment of cookbooks spread out on the kitchen counter, and she was busy making her long holiday shopping list as Rin and Sesshoumaru got ready for school and work. When they came into the kitchen, Kagome was climbing up a step stool to take inventory of the upper shelves of the pantry.

"Would you like some help?" Sesshoumaru chose his words with care. She had frequently reminded him that she was pregnant, not broken or sick, and capable of performing normal household chores and going to the gym. He quickly learned not to question her judgment. His protectiveness, or over-protectiveness according to Kagome, these past few months had taken a backseat to his desire not to piss her off. It did not take long for him to trust her body and her instincts to not overdo.

"Do you mind taking this?" She handed him a heavy bag of cornmeal. "And can you dig out the stand mixer some time before Wednesday? I think it's almost thirty pounds and I probably shouldn't be lifting that much at this point."

He gave her a hand as she stepped down, happy that she paused to let him stroke the vast expanse of her belly. "You look different."

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked, automatically touching her face.

"Your body. Your front has a different shape."

"The baby must have dropped. That would explain why I can breathe a little easier this morning." She clutched her lower abdomen and made a face. "And why I have to keep going to the toilet."

"Are you alright?"

"A little crampy. I blame the Four Onion Soup we had for dinner last night."

Sesshoumaru and Rin looked at each other with suspicion. As long as they had known her, Kagome had a stomach of iron. They had gone to an amusement park together that summer, and Kagome had shocked and horrified them by eating a deep-fried bacon cheeseburger, followed by a platter of chili cheese fries and fried cookie dough on a stick. It was not an isolated occurrence.

"Don't worry. The baby is just resting her head in interesting new places. Like my colon and bladder." She half-scurried, half-waddled down the hall toward the bathroom, followed closely by the dog who had not left her side since she had gotten up that morning. "Besides, I think I'd know if I was in labor!"

XxXxX

Kagome's day did not begin to deviate from normal until, two hours later, she was staring at a chest freezer full of organic, free-range turkeys. She wanted a big bird and was trying to picture whether the eighteen-pound turkey she had her eye on would fit in her roasting pan when a low, dull pain made her breath catch.

"Crap. Not again." She grabbed her purse and hurried to the bathroom. She hoped her nearly full cart would still be there when she returned.

Once inside the bathroom, which was mercifully unoccupied, she got a surprise. Two days before, she had noticed the beginnings of a slight discharge, a normal part of the end of pregnancy. However the mucus she now saw was streaked with blood. Her heart hammered as it dawned on her that her cramps were not the result of indigestion. She was in labor and had been all morning. She washed her shaking hands and splashed water on her face, then fished her cell phone out of her purse.

"Please answer. Please answer."

"Hello, Kagome."

"Sesshoumaru, I think I'm in labor. I just had my bloody show."

After a long pause he said, "Okay, I'm on my way home."

"Wait! I'm not home. I'm at Whole Foods."

Another, shorter pause. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"No, wait. Just meet me at home in half an hour. I need to finish shopping."

"Kagome—"

"I'm fine. I am. See you in a bit." She hung up before he could say another word.

Kagome took several deep breaths and went in search of her cart. After wandering the aisles for ten minutes, she finally found it in the meat section, where she had abandoned it, and realized she was far too distracted to operate an automobile safely. She got out her cell phone again.

"Kagome?"

"Can you come get me? I think I shouldn't drive."

"I'm already on my way to the car."

"Are you sure it's okay? I don't want you to miss something important."

"What could possibly be more important than this? I'll be right there."

Kagome grabbed a random turkey and stuck it in her cart. She dug out her list. The only thing left was the dairy section. She added a gallon of milk, two pounds of unsalted and a pound of salted butter, and a pint of heavy cream to her cart and checked out. She had not had another contraction and contemplated calling Sesshoumaru back to tell him it was maybe a false alarm, when she was stopped by a tightening across her abdomen. _One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand…twelve one thousand_. Short and not painful, but unmistakable. She sat at a table by the sliding glass doors and watched the time on her cell phone, waiting for another contraction to determine how far apart they were.

"Kagome. Hi."

She looked up. It was Kagura. The two women had seen each other several times over the past almost two years. Social situations, the ground-breaking celebration for the arena, at the Downtown Athletic Club. The meetings were cold at first, though they now regarded each other civilly and at a distance.

"I had heard you were pregnant, but I didn't realize how far along you were. Congratulations. When are you due?"

"Actually…I'm in labor."

"Right now?"

"Yeah," Kagome said, a little breathless.

"Oh my god. Do you need anything? Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. Sesshoumaru should be here any minute."

"Ummm…" Kagura floundered. Leaving a woman, even one whom you had actively hated two years earlier, in labor alone seemed like bad form. "Would you like me to sit with you until he gets here?"

"Oh…thanks. I'd like that." Kagome smiled as Kagura took the seat next to her. "It's just early labor. I've still got a way to go."

"You're so relaxed. I'm pretty sure I'd be freaking out right now if I were you."

Kagome laughed. "Well, it doesn't hurt yet. But I think I'm prepared. As much as I can be." She had stopped being intimidated by Kagura a long time ago. The fact that she was hugely pregnant, dressed in her sister's paint-splattered maternity jeans, sitting next to sophisticated, elegant Kagura did not even bother her. "There is a favor you could do for me, if you don't mind. Could you find the manager and ask him not to have my car towed? It's the red Audi Avant. I'll have someone come get it in the next day or so."

"Consider it done."

"So…are you here to avoid the last-minute Thanksgiving shoppers?"

"I'm here to get lunch." Kagura could not stop the blush that bloomed across her cheeks when she thought about her real reason for being at Whole Foods. "Okay…I've got a huge crush on the guy that works behind the sushi counter," she confessed.

Kagome was surprised that Kagura had shared such a personal detail, but she did not miss a beat. "Yuki? He's a doll. Totally crushable."

"You know him?"

"We chat for a few minutes whenever I come in. Which is like three or four times a week, so yeah…he's a nice guy."

"We've gone on a couple dates." Kagura's blush spread. She felt like a school girl. "He's the brother of one of Naraku's girlfriends. I haven't even told my parents about him. I'm an adult woman, and I'm afraid of my mother's reaction to finding out that I like a guy who isn't a doctor or a lawyer or a businessman." Her blush disappeared, to be replaced by cool caution. "Stupid, isn't it." There was a flash of vulnerability on Kagura's face before she sealed up again.

"Nah. But you may be surprised at how people, especially parents, can act in ways we don't expect. If you're mom is anything like Rose Taisho, she'll be _thrilled_ if you are happy."

"You may be right. God knows my brother has been enough of a black sheep that anything I do will pale in comparison." Kagura sat silent. The ease of conversation between them prompted her to want to get something off her chest that had weighed on her for over a year. "Kagome…I know this is a weird time to say this. You could have had me fired for being a giant bitch to you and you didn't. I'd like to say thank you for that…but I'd also need to say I'm sorry for what I did. I won't make excuses. I crossed more lines than I can enumerate, and I like to think I've changed a lot since then." She reached for Kagome's hand. "We're very different people, but I would like to be friends. If you'll let me."

Kagome squeezed back. "I'd like that."

Sesshoumaru's car pulled up in front of the exit doors, brakes screeching and commanding the attention of everyone nearby. Kagome rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I think you are in capable hands now. Congrats again. And good luck."

"Go get your sushi," Kagome said with a wink. "Good luck yourself, Kagura. And thanks for the company." Kagome hauled herself up just as Sesshoumaru stormed through the doors.

He had a role other than a passive observer of his wife's nutritional needs, midwife appointments, and changing body. Now he was an active participant, even if, for the moment, a mere chauffeur. "Are you okay?"

"Get out of cave man protection mode," Kagome warned, recognizing his intensity. "I need to get home without a reckless driver behind the wheel." Before he could retort, Kaogme closed her eyes and counted in her head. _One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand_… "Eight seconds. And I think it was close to fifteen minutes since the last one. We've got plenty of time."

Relief softened his features. He had been tormented by nightmarish scenarios from the moment she told him she was not at home, torments that had gotten worse when she stubbornly hung up on him. "No precipitous delivery on the side of the highway?"

"Nope. I've got over a hundred dollars worth of groceries in the cart right now. My main concern is getting them home and into the refrigerator."

"You have warped priorities," he said as they walked through the doors into the bright autumn sunshine. Once the bags were loaded into the trunk, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "So…baby today?"

"Today or tomorrow." She buried her face in his shoulder, wondering about all the unknowns the upcoming hours would bring. "We're in this together. Don't leave me, okay?"

He titled her face up and kissed her. It was his best answer.

XxXxX

Once safely home and groceries properly stored, Kagome and Sesshoumaru sat together for an hour, sharing a pot of tea and timing contractions. Kagome was pleased that they did not stop, but duration and length between was all over the map. After two thirty-second, seemingly back-to-back contractions, she did not feel a thing for eighteen minutes.

"Well, so much for having the baby before lunch," Kagome said. During her doula training years before, Kagome had heard plenty of anecdotes that short labors were incredibly intense and many of the women who shared their stories said that they would have preferred a ten-hour experience with a long, gradual build-up toward transition to their mind-altering three-hour labors. Kikyou was in labor for twenty hours, and, even though the harsh pain was only a small fraction of that, Kagome thought the idea of being done in only a few hours an appealing, if unlikely, one.

Sesshoumaru, for his part, was grateful for a calm before the inevitable storm. His panicked drive to the grocery was a fading memory to their reality. His wife was relaxed and happy; they were home; the midwife had been called. Kagome was the star of the show, and he was ready to slip into his supporting part in the play—to trust her and listen to her and give her what she needed. For someone who was so used to taking control of a given situation, who could assess and assign instinctively, he found the prospect of watching her without being able to stop her hurt a daunting one, but living with Kagome the past two years had taught him a lot about the art of letting go. "How many times have you told me the past two months that babies come when they are ready? That patience is important?"

"You're right." As much as Kagome wanted the baby out and in her arms, she knew birth had its own schedule, its own rhythm. One that deserved reverence and respect. "Let's leash the dog and go for a walk. Hopefully that will get this labor into a regular pattern. While you change, I'll call your mom and dad. And Sango and Bank."

"Do you still want him to film the birth?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "In a big way I'd like a record of our baby being born…but I just don't know what I'll want when I'm in the throes of active labor. I'm already feeling really private. Like I just want it to be you and me."

"And the midwife," he said quickly.

She laughed. "And Juliet. And I told your mom that she was welcome and Sango said she'll be here if it isn't too late. She's even more tired with the first trimester of this pregnancy than she was her first. Ooo…another contraction."

Sesshoumaru looked at his watch and scribbled some numbers on the piece of paper that was their official record of the progression.

"Okay, it's over. How long?"

"Thirty-seven seconds."

"Longest one yet! Go change out of your suit. I'll get the dog leashed." He kissed her and reluctantly left the room. Kagome looked at the dog at her feet and scratched behind his ears. "You knew this morning, didn't you? You knew before I did." Oberon stared at her with vigilant brown eyes. She felt Inuyasha's presence nearby, on the periphery, but part of her soul. "My steady, protective dog. I'm lucky to have all three of you."

XxXxX

They walked for two hours, strolling slowly and holding hands, stopping to rest as Kagome needed. They let the dog off leash when they got to an open green space so he could chase squirrels and get vigorous exercise, but he was far more interested in staying near Kagome. By the time they returned to their house, jokey, excited Kagome had been replaced by one who was all serious business. Unable to talk during contractions, she could only breathe, deep and even. In the pauses between, which were getting progressively shorter and less satisfying, she helped Sesshoumaru prepare their bedroom for the birth.

"I'm glad I didn't put off getting everything ready," Kagome said. "I've been so busy with work, I was tempted to wait until after Thanksgiving, but Juliet said to have it all done three weeks before the due date." She opened a sealed paper bag labeled _Bedding_. "I would hate to be in a panic right now about washing and drying all these sheets and towels and blankets."

Together they made the bed—two fitted and two flat sheets, with a shower curtain spread out between the set layers. On top of that, they piled pillows and set the warmest blankets nearby. Kagome stopped for a contraction, and Sesshoumaru laid out the contents from another bag on the trunk. The purpose of some of the items was obvious; others, not so much. A thermometer, Betadine, towels and washcloths he understood. A large mixing bowl, a cookie sheet, and a package of adult diapers were more mysterious.

He picked up the last paper bag. It read _Baby Clothes_ in Kagome's large, neat script, and had a drawing of some smiling flowers that he recognized to be additions made by Rin. Two weeks before, the three of them went shopping for the baby. They came home with an infant car seat, a jogging stroller, a baby monitor for when they were at the big house, and a rather large layette in gender-neutral colors. Kagome washed all the clothes that evening and let Rin pick out the sleepers and blankets that she would put away for the birth day.

He felt his breath catch as he pulled the clothes out. The day had been a series of events—a set of small, significant steps, beginning with her first phone call that morning and continuing as her contractions became longer and she began to complain of pain. Each step brought a certain amount of fright and anxiety—worry that he was not with her, worry that something would go wrong, worry that he wouldn't be able to help her. This little step, laying out the first clothes their baby would wear, was the first time that afternoon a bit of the simmering anxiety was forgotten, as if the clothes had some hypnotic, calming power of suggestion. There were two plain onesies; two brightly colored pairs of socks; two long-sleeved nightgowns, one red and one orange; and a knit cap that resembled a ladybug. He picked up a sock. It was barely bigger than his thumb.

"Can you believe how tiny?" Kagome asked. Standing behind him, she wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned against his back.

Sesshoumaru turned and put her arms around his neck and held her. "How are you feeling? Hungry?"

"I guess I should eat. I kinda skipped breakfast, and pretty soon I'm not going to want food." Another contraction came, and he supported her while she hung on him, swaying and breathing. "This isn't too bad, but I liked it better when it didn't hurt at all."

He laughed softly and kissed her. "What can I do for you?"

"Will you fill up the tub? I want to be in water."

"I thought you wanted to wait until labor was further along." They had not planned for a waterbirth, but Kagome thought she would keep the option on the table.

"I changed my mind. Funny…I spent so much time learning how to give comfort to laboring women and did so much preparation for myself. But I really had no idea what it would feel like, what I would want."

Twenty minutes later, Kagome sat immersed in warm water, sipping red raspberry leaf tea and nibbling peanut butter toast. Sesshoumaru set out the silk robe she wanted to wear after her bath and put on a CD she had made of music to listen to while in labor. He was expecting to hear Enya or Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares or something similarly ethereal, but was not surprised that Kagome had chosen "Rooster" by Alice in Chains as the first track. She was still as unpredictable as she had been that night at the restaurant when she had confronted him and his parents in all her profane glory.

"This is so much better," she said. The contractions were still coming, regular and getting harder, but the water helped her relax during them and she did not feel so drained afterward. Sesshoumaru knelt down at the side of the tub and held her hands as her eyes closed and her breathing deepened. He brushed wisps of black hair from her face. She smiled shyly at him when she returned to normal. "Get undressed and come in with me."

XxXxX

_Lost again, broken and weary  
Unable to find my way  
Tail in hand, dizzy and clearly  
Unable to just let this go_

_I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown  
Catch me, heal me,  
Lift me back up to the sun  
I choose to live..._

_I fell again, like a baby  
Unable to stand on my own  
Tail in hand, dizzy and clearly  
Unable to just let this go_

_I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown  
Catch me, heal me  
Lift me back up to the sun  
I choose to live...  
I choose to live...  
I choose to live..._

_Catch me, heal me  
Lift me back up to the sun  
Help me survive the bottom_

Their limbs were twined around each other, bodies touching everywhere, strands of white and dark hair tangled and floating on the surface of the water. They kissed, slow and long. Sesshoumaru caressed her back, her neck. She grew limp and moaned through the pains, followed by sweet sighs as he just held her and whispered encouragement.

For the first time in his wife's pregnancy Sesshoumaru felt like he had a real purpose, that they were in it together. His heart swelled with his need to protect her. "One closer to being finished."

"So peaceful," she said, lifting her head from his shoulder. "Can we stay like this forever? Just the two of us."

"I don't know about forever. We can stay here until the water gets cold."

"You and your logic."

"You and your magic."

"We make a good combination."

XxXxX

As they dried off, they heard the front door and excited voices.

"My mother and Rin." Sesshoumaru quickly pulled on his pants. It would not take long for the newcomers to discover their location.

"God, is it five already?"

A moment later there was a knock on the door and Rin said, "Can I come in?"

"Sure, sweetie. How were school and your riding lesson?"

"Good and good." Rin bounded in, and Kagome hugged her until a contraction forced her to brace herself against the bathroom sink and slip back into concentration mode.

When it was over, she looked in Rin's eyes and smiled reassuringly. "Honey, I know you said you wanted to be here and that's wonderful. But I'll remind you that anytime you get scared because of the bad words I'm saying and the noises I'm making or if you get bored…because this is a long process…anything you want, just ask one of your grandparents to take you next door. I need your Dad here with me. But I'm going to be fine."

Rin petted Kagome's huge belly. "I know."

"Will you do me a favor?" she asked, absently smoothing Rin's hair. "Make your Dad a sandwich. He hasn't eaten since breakfast and I can't have him getting tired on me."

Rin nodded and went to Sesshoumaru. When she turned seven, she told him she was too big for being picked up like a little kid and cuddled. She decided she could make an occasional exception; he looked like he needed a hug. She raised her arms, and he smiled and picked her up. It felt good to be in his strong arms again. "I only know how to make peanut butter and jelly. Maybe Grandmother will help me make a grilled cheese."

"I'd be delighted to help," Rose said. She was standing in the doorway, teary-eyed with emotion. Kagome looked so beautiful, wrapped in red silk with her hair loose and damp. "Is there anything else you two need?"

"Can you turn up the thermostat?" Kagome shivered, and Sesshoumaru shifted Rin and put an arm around her. "Oh god," she said, looking down at the floor. "It's time to call Juliet back. I think my water just broke."

XxXxX

An hour later Rin answered a knock at the door. It was the midwife. Rin had accompanied Kagome to two of her prenatal appointments, and she had been charmed to learn that this woman was there when she was born. Juliet even told her a little story about her father giving her her first bath when she was one day old, shortly before her parents took her home from the birth center.

"Hi, Rin. How are you?"

"Good. I've been helping get tea and cold washcloths."

"How's Kagome?"

"She hurts and she's getting tired, but she's calm. My Dad isn't though. I think he'll be happy that you're here."

Juliet laughed. "That's to be expected of first-time fathers."

Rin led her into the bedroom where Kagome was leaning against Sesshoumaru. Juliet watched for a minute, then greeted the couple. She took a hand-held Doptone from her bag and listened to the fetal heart tones. "Kagome, if you can stand it, I'd like to get a listen during a contraction."

Kagome had time to nod and sit on the edge of the bed before the next one started.

"Sounds great," the midwife said, standing after a minute. "I'm going back to my car to get the oxygen tank and a few more things. Be right back."

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru and snorted. He looked like he had been handed a reprieve from a death sentence. "Feel better?"

"I'm simply glad the professional is here," he said, sighing cathartically. "I don't want to be in charge anymore."

Kagome laughed as much as she, in the midst of active labor, was capable. "When have you _ever_ been in charge?"

XxXxX

"If you fucking touch me anywhere, I'll cut your balls off and feed them to the dog."

Sesshoumaru backed away slowly, as if he were near a wild animal. He had been rubbing Kagome's shoulders during a contraction. When she thrashed her head from side to side, he took it to mean it was an intense one and he rubbed harder. Apparently he could not have been more wrong. "You liked being touched that way in the tub," he said in his defense. The situation was very different from the intimacy of being together in the water hours ago.

"I'm sorry," Kagome panted. "It's distracting now. Lower back is the only place it feels maybe okay. I just don't want to be touched at all." She was kneeling on the bed, resting her upper body on her exercise ball. The contractions were on top of each other with little time in between to recoup. "Ahh…not again." She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed raggedly. "I want my mother," she whispered. Her voice was high-pitched and shaky. "I want Kikyou."

Sango quickly took up the space that Sesshoumaru had previously occupied and grabbed Kagome's hand. "I'm here, honey. Slow down and breathe. That's the way. Just breathe." She tried to remember all the things Kagome had done to help her when she was in labor. The most important thing was just having her friend next to her, encouraging and calm, reminding her to stay focused. "You're doing great. I know how hard this is and you're doing beautifully."

After a minute, Kagome lifted her head and attempted a weak smile at Sango. Mrs. Taisho was sitting near her, and she fumbled for her mother-in-law's hand. "I'm glad you're here. Both of you."

Sesshoumaru was touched that his mother and his wife were connecting. Mrs. Taisho had cried with joy when Kagome told her that she wanted her at the baby's birth, and he knew how important it was for Kagome to have support, especially having had lost her own mother. And he was stabbed by his own inadequacy. He had done so well seeing to her comforts and needs, but now he felt out of place, an intruder in this uniquely female domain.

Juliet laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled sympathetically. When she agreed to take Kagome, whom she remembered fondly from Kikyou's birth, as a client, she was excited. She was also a little apprehensive—Sesshoumaru Taisho was the most powerful man in the city, if not the entire state. However, when they met, she was impressed by Sesshoumaru's quiet strength, his lack of pretention, and his respect for his wife's judgment. And until a minute ago, his perfect ability to read Kagome's cues. "She's going through the worst part right now. Transition is rough on everybody. Why don't you take a break and boil some water for hot compresses. If I'm not mistaken, her second stage isn't too far away."

"Thanks," he said, grateful that Juliet did not make him feel even more redundant. He left their room with something productive to do, knowing Kagome was in good hands. He put a kettle of water on the stove and went into the living room. Rin was curled up asleep on the sofa, her head resting on her pillow next to his father, who was reading _The Economist_.

"Is everything going alright?" the older man asked, setting the magazine aside. He was perfectly content to stay away from the action in the other room and entertain Rin. They told her she was allowed to skip school the next day and stay up until the baby was born. Three hours of watching Kagome breathe deeply and walk around got old fast. They put on _Howl's Moving Castle_, but once Rin's normal bedtime was past, not even Calcifer's cute sassiness could keep her eyes open. "How is Kagome?"

Sesshoumaru slumped in the chair next to the sofa. "The midwife says everything is fine. She checks the heart rate every so often and says it sounds good. Kagome is doing great." He was silent a moment. "I've never felt so powerless in my life."

Ken Taisho laughed gently. "Welcome to fatherhood. You've gotten by easy so far. This one is no trouble compared to you and your brother." He stroked Rin's hair, taking care not to disturb her. "Sesshoumaru, were you ever told about the day you were born?" He did not wait for an answer. "You almost arrived in the car on the way to the hospital. I spent the drive begging your mother not to push, that we were practically there, and she just had to wait a few more minutes. They barely had time to get her into a room, then the nurse told her she wasn't allowed to push until the doctor got there. You mother said, and I'll never forget it, 'go fuck yourself.'"

"Wait," Sesshoumaru said. "_Mother_ said that?" Rose Taisho rarely raised her voice. The idea of her saying a vulgarity was completely foreign.

"Yes," he chuckled. "The nurse ended up delivering you because your mother refused to wait another minute. I was so proud of her."

"I was threatened with castration a few minutes ago."

Ken nodded. "You probably deserved it."

Sesshoumaru joined his father's laughter. The past two years saw the two men developing a close relationship, one that they both had wanted for years but had been too afraid to actively pursue.

"When your brother was born, it was different," Ken said, sobering. "Your mother was so sick. She could have died. Talk about powerlessness. I would have done anything to trade places with her, but of course my only option was to wait and pray. You know…this isn't about you. She's doing something incredible. Something you and I will never fully understand, but she still needs you." He gestured toward the kitchen. "I'll take care of the water. Go to your wife, Sesshoumaru."

"Thanks. Dad. You're a good father."

Ken watched his son go back to the bedroom. He watched Rin sleep. For over thirty years he wanted to be told that. The fact that he had finally earned it made the words even more important.

XxXxX

The pain subsided, as it had every time before that. Just when she felt like the push and pull would take control and she would drown, the hurt would ease and she knew another was done and she had time, if only a handful of seconds, to prepare for the next. Kagome, still leaning on the large rubber ball, opened her eyes slowly. Sesshoumaru was close to her again. "You came back," she said, smiling softly.

"I'm here."

"Don't leave me."

"I won't leave."

She took his hand and placed it on her cheek. "Never."

"Never." He moved the sweaty hair plastered to her forehead and kissed her.

"How's Rin?"

"Asleep on the couch."

She closed her eyes and breathed heavily. He kept hold of her hand, but otherwise was careful not to distract her from focusing. The peak of the contraction intensified with a deep, primal pressure. "Oh god…ahh…I feel pushy." She panted as the pain subsided. "I want to push."

Juliet knelt by the edge of the bed. "Kagome, I just want you to breathe through the next contraction and tell me how it feels."

Kagome nodded. When the next pain came, she tried blowing but shook her head. "I can't," she said, panicky. "I can't not push."

"Okay, good. Go ahead. Follow your body's instincts. Don't force it—just push as you feel the need." She went to the stack of birth supplies on the trunk and ripped open a package of Chux pads. "What feels good? Do you want to stay where you are?"

"This," Kagome said after a minute. "Pushing feels good. But I want a different position." She tried moving and hesitated. "Ugh, my knees are killing me." She had been kneeling in front of the makeshift birth ball for almost two hours.

Juliet motioned for Sesshoumaru to help her up. "We talked about a semi squat at your last prenatal." She laid the pads on the foot of the bed. "Let's try that."

They maneuvered to the edge of the bed, with Juliet on the floor and Sesshoumaru sitting behind Kagome, letting her rest upright against him as he supported her weight.

"Hey Bank," Kagome said, surprised and not-surprised. She had no idea how much time had elapsed while she inhabited what many women called Labor Land, a trance-like state where her whole world consisted of breathing and coping and relaxing, one contraction at a time. "When did you get here?"

Bankotsu, standing quiet in the corner with the dog at his feet and a camera in his hand, said, "Hey babe. A half an hour ago. Jak sends his regards."

"Oh my god, Kagome, I can see the head already." Juliet put on a pair of sterile Neoprene gloves and wrung out a hot compress. "It won't be long before you're done. Don't hold your breath. Just breathe the baby down. You're doing great."

Kagome looked behind at Sesshoumaru. "Don't let me fall."

"Never." He twined his fingers through hers. "You're incredible."

She waited for the next urge to become unbearable and let her body and her instincts take over. "This is better. I can do this." This new rhythm, pushing and resting, gave her a shiny sense of control, and she was amazed at how much the pain had lessened. She took deep breaths and blew out as she pushed, then relaxed against Sesshoumaru until the next.

"Great pushing. Okay go slow. The head is starting to crown." With a rush of fluid the whole baby was out. "Oh god! So much for a controlled delivery of the head." Juliet immediately placed the baby on Kagome's chest, as she parted her robe so the baby was touching her skin. She quickly suctioned each nostril and wiped the scrunched, pink face with a towel. It was enough to produce a strong, angry howl.

Kagome leaned back and sighed. "Out. He's out. I'm done." She looked over her shoulder at a somewhat shocked Sesshoumaru and kissed him. "We're done!"

The bleating newborn cry was an otherworldly sound that was so full of life, Sesshoumaru could barely breathe. Even after the hours building up to this inevitable point, it still seemed a miracle that there was suddenly a new person in the room. From his position, he had not seen much before the baby was given to Kagome, and now the little body was covered with a towel as Juliet dried amniotic fluid and blood. "You said _he_. Is it a boy?" His tried to keep his voice measured and calm.

The baby had thick white hair and a less-than-pleased expression, pure fury and drama. "I'm getting serious male Taisho vibes from this one," Kagome said with a laugh. She moved the towel aside and grinned. "We have a son."

"We have a son," he echoed, amazed. Sesshoumaru felt like the universe had shrunk to nothing but him and Kagome and their infant. Just as intimate as the bath they had taken together, but now the baby was on the outside, visible and crying. He was no longer an abstract, unknowable part of their future. He had size and color and sound. The beginnings of his own identity. Sesshoumaru touched a tiny, long-fingered hand. "Oh Kagome." He thought he would be overcome by the intensity of the emotions of touching his child for the first time. He looked up, saw his mother and Sango sobbing in each other's arms, and laughed instead. Kagome seemed happy, but he did not know how much was simply relief to be finished. "Are you disappointed?"

Kagome gave him a look of amused incomprehension, then shook her head. "How can I be disappointed? Look at him. He's perfect. Just because I wanted a girl, doesn't mean I don't want him." She kissed the little head, smoothing the damp, white hair. "Rose, would you go tell the duo in the living room it's a boy? And they can come in soon."

Sesshoumaru and Juliet spread towels and Chux pads on the bed and helped Kagome recline on a pile of pillows. Juliet put a knit hat on the baby's head and covered him and Kagome with a fresh, thick towel. After the cord stopped pulsing, she clamped it. Kagome insisted that she be the one to cut the cord, the tie that bound her and her son for nine months. Then Juliet just let them be. Barring problems, she let mothers and babies stay undisturbed as much as possible during the first hour or so after birth. "Don't forget you still have a placenta to push out," she reminded gently.

The baby, lying front down, skin-to-skin on Kagome's chest, gradually stopped crying and began to open his eyes, blinking at his new surroundings. Kagome felt her heart clench when he looked at her, as though she was staring straight into her own soul. It was a profound, lovely, almost physical pain. "Hi, baby boy," she whispered. "Look at how beautiful you are." She picked up a hand and the tears began to fall. "I didn't even know I wanted you," she choked out.

Sesshoumaru stretched out next to Kagome and kissed her. She laid her head on his shoulder and wept for a minute as he stroked her hair. "What do you think of him?" she asked.

He locked eyes with his son. He suspected they would be the same shape as his, but the color was almost black. He felt like he could look into them forever. "I didn't know it was possible to be this happy."

XxXxX

There was a soft knock at the door. "Are you ready?" Rose asked.

"Come in!" Kagome called. "Come in and meet our baby boy!"

She had delivered the placenta without any problems and now had warm blankets covering her lower half. Juliet massaged her abdomen and, for now, was satisfied at the amount of uterine contraction. Kagome was relieved to learn that, despite a speedy birth and nuchal hand, she had barely a first-degree tear that did not require repair. She was high on post-birth elation, and the only things keeping her from wanting to dance around the room were her lurking exhaustion and the tiny baby on her chest.

Rin clamored in and went straight to Sesshoumaru, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. He hugged her to him tightly. When her grandparents woke her, she was confused at first. She had been dreaming that Kagome gave birth to a litter of kittens and did not understand why her grandparents had laughed when she asked how many and what color they were. It did not take long for her to wake up completely, and she grinned at her sleepy mistake. A brother, they told her. She had watched enough birth videos to know what to expect and was not afraid, but she was secretly glad they let her sleep through the bloody part.

"Hi, sweetie," Kagome said. "We have a little boy."

Rin watched her new brother rooting around on Kagome's chest. His movements were clumsy but effective. It did not take much searching before he found a nipple, and as soon as he did, he began to suck enthusiastically. "Can I touch him? I washed my hands."

"Go ahead, honey. You can talk to him too. He'll recognize your voice."

Rin got closer. "Hi little brother. It's Rin." She petted his head. It was covered with wild white hair. She was reminded of her Daddy and Dad's baby books. "His hair is cute. What color are his eyes?"

"They're dark," Sesshoumaru said. "I think he might have Kagome's brown eyes."

"I hope he has something of mine," Kagome said. "He looks all Taisho to me." She smiled as he sucked, paying attention to his mouth position and latch on. "He's already nursing great." She covered her other breast with her red robe and looked over at the Taishos, standing nearby with their arms around each other. "Come closer."

Sesshoumaru stood and embraced his parents. He had kept his emotions visibly in check for the past half an hour, but holding his mother nearly destroyed the wall he had built around himself. Perhaps because too many of his childhood memories about her involved her bedridden state, he had always thought of her as fragile, delicate. He was a bit abashed to realize she was nothing of the sort. "So the Taisho tradition of white-haired boys running around, causing trouble continues," he said once he had regained control.

"As does the tradition of dark-haired women who love them," Rose said, kissing her son's cheek. She sat on the bed and pulled Rin onto her lap. "What do you think of your baby brother?"

Rin had promised herself that she would not be jealous of the new baby, but part of her was nonetheless scared of being eclipsed. She snuggled in her grandmother's arms, more secure in the knowledge that would never happen. "I like him. What's his name?"

Kagome and Sesshoumaru stared at each other, struck silent with the realization that they had been prepared for the birth in every way but one.

"Uhhhh…"

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said, "we don't have a name picked out, because someone, who shall remain nameless, refused to entertain this possibility. Do you have any suggestions?"

Rin thought for a long moment. Howl, she knew, was out of the question, as were Pikachu, Umbreon, and Ash. She had to say a real, human name, but every name she could think of had an actual person she knew attached to it. "What was my other grandfather's name?"

Kagome's tears came back, unbidden. She did not think about her father as much as she thought about Inuyasha, but when she did, it was always fondly and with a small amount of guilt for not remembering her dead parents more often. He was an affectionate, indulgent father, preferring to set a good example for his twin daughters than by exercising a firm hand. He had given them a love of music. He taught them there is value in art. He had encouraged Kagome to think of herself as different from, not a lesser version of, her sister. He was her first defender, her first cheerleader. "His name was Benjiro."

"Benjiro Higurashi-Taisho," Ken said. "A good name."

"I think so too," Sesshoumaru said. Kagome talked about her parents infrequently and always referred to them as My Mom and My Dad. He had only heard her say their names once, toasting them on what would have been their thirtieth wedding anniversary. "Kagome?"

She swallowed hard, hot tears. There was only so much she could stand at once. She would have a good missing-her-parents cry sometime soon. "I like it…but only under the condition that we never, ever call him Benji." She remembered when she was ten and they had just moved. All the kids at the new school called Kikyou _Kikyou_ and they called Kagome _Kags_. She went home frustrated and feeling sorry for herself and, after much coaxing, confessed to her father how much it bothered her. He commiserated and told her a story about when he was a kid and how he had hated his nickname. _Don't allow other people to define you, Kagome. You are your own person_. She stroked her baby's cheek as he continued to nurse. "Benjiro. I think it means peaceful. I think it's a fine name."

XxXxX

Once Benjiro seemed to have nursing figured out, it was time for the newborn exam. He did not care for it and loudly voiced his displeasure at being taken from the warmth and comfort of his mother's chest. Juliet performed the exam on the bed next to Kagome, who looked on proudly.

"Yep. Total Taisho."

"What do you mean?" Sesshoumaru asked indignantly. "You have never seen me scream like that."

Kagome nudged him in the ribs. "I have seen you, your brother, and your father," she glanced at Ken and winked, "in various states of anger, self-righteousness, and other distress. There is a strong family resemblance. See the crease between the brows and the curl of the upper lip? Unmistakable."

"Kagome's right," Rose said. "And I have seen you scream…exactly like that."

Sesshoumaru thought for a moment that his father might come to his defense, but they both knew better than to stand against the combined force of the two women.

Juliet weighed and measured the baby, took his temperature and listened to his heart, checked for anomalies, evaluated reflexes and hip flexion. Nine pounds exactly, twenty-two inches long, and healthy baby was the verdict. Benjiro was then diapered and dressed. He was swaddled in a blanket, and as soon as Kagome picked him back up, he began to fall asleep, worn out from the effort of adjusting from a dark world of water to a new one, a world of light and air. She turned to Sesshoumaru. "Ready to hold your son?"

Sesshoumaru took a deep breath and let Kagome initiate the transfer. He exhaled slowly. They would have a lifetime together, but this moment in time could never be replicated. He cradled his new son, torn between excitement at the prospect of watching him grow and wanting to keep him tiny and protected forever. Miroku told him that fatherhood is an exercise in melancholy. _They change so fast it makes you want to freeze time, and the only thing that makes watching them grow up bearable is that it just keeps getting better_. He traced a faint brow. "Hi little guy."

Kagome sighed with bliss. She would remember Sesshoumaru's expression, confused and happy and intensely affected, for the rest of her life. He had changed appreciably in the years they had known each other. He had become less reserved and closed. More willing to let his emotions show. Still, few things penetrated the remaining part of his shell to such a deep level.

"Can I hold him too?" Rin asked, her voice hopeful. She needed another dose of reassurance that she would not be forgotten.

"Of course, Rin. Come here." Rin carefully climbed on Sesshoumaru's lap, and he placed the baby in her arms, keeping hold of them both. "I'm glad I got to hold you when you were this size."

Rin could not stop smiling—she had nothing to worry about. "He's kinda heavy. I thought he would be like a stuffed animal. He's more like a stuffed animal soaking wet." She ignored the grown-up laughter. She preferred to focus on her Dad's strong arms around her and the baby sleeping. Peaceful, Kagome said. Benjiro was a good name.

The Taishos were hovering, practically salivating in anticipation of holding their grandson. Kagome checked to see that Bank was still filming and announced, "Since the baby is in such capable hands, I'd like to take a shower."

Juliet and Sango helped her into the bathroom. The midwife watched Kagome for dizziness from blood loss and, deciding she was safe with Sango, went to get her a clean robe and some maxi-pads.

"He's beautiful, honey," Sango said. She started to cry—a combination of happiness, missing her own son, and pregnancy hormones. "And Miroku says Congratulations."

Kagome hugged her friend, her own tears were only seconds behind. "I love him so much, Sango."

"I know. _I know_."

"Can I borrow some of your baby boy clothes? Maybe that cute little blue hooded towel with the Cookie Monster face? And those adorable overalls?"

"You're welcome to whatever you want."

They laughed and dried their eyes. "Do you want something to eat? You must be starving."

"Actually I just want to shower and brush my teeth and go to bed. It's after midnight and I'm bone-tired. I'll have a big breakfast." She yawned. "You must be tired too. You should have Bank drive you home. Come tomorrow with Miroku after work and get your car."

"Good idea." Sango turned the water on and set some towels out. "But I can't leave until I get a chance to hold that baby." Sango waited in the bathroom while Kagome showered in case she needed anything. She rubbed her belly, already starting to feel a lot more round than it did even a couple days before. She was eleven weeks along and looked like she did at five months with Daisuke. Not a bad thing, she decided. This would be her last pregnancy—she and Miroku planned a family of two children—and she intended to enjoy every beautiful, uncomfortable, amazing moment.

XxXxX

Sesshoumaru and Kagome lay under the comforting weight of several blankets, their two children asleep between them. Rin was curled up next to Sesshoumaru; Benjiro was in a pillow-free space near Kagome's head. Oberon was in his customary position at Kagome's feet, careful to avoid the new little person at the top of the bed. Kagome turned a table lamp on the lowest setting. She was not yet confident enough to mother a newborn in total darkness. The new parents stared at each other, smiling and quiet, processing their emotions and unable to fall asleep, despite tiredness.

"It's finally just us," Kagome said. Bank and Sango left shortly after Kagome got out of the shower. The Taishos removed the bloodied towels and trash and top layer of sheets and shower curtain, took care of the dog, and went back to the big house with promises of helping with breakfast and laundry the next day. The midwife stayed for another hour, filling out paperwork. She left after she was sure everyone was stable, saying goodbye and she would be back the following afternoon unless they needed her sooner. "How are you?"

"Happy. Overwhelmed."

"I know what you mean. I didn't know I could feel so many things at once. I've done this super-special, crazy-amazing thing, but really…I have only done what mothers have been doing for millennia. I am part empowered, part humbled. Also part over-tired and part Holy Shit—there's a baby in our bed."

Sesshoumaru laughed softly. "I'm still wondering how I got away with having this much happiness. I haven't done anything to deserve it."

"Sesshoumaru…do you ever wonder whether we would have this if they hadn't died. We weren't exactly in the same social circles to have much contact with each other. Would we have ever started dating?"

He sighed, lost in thought. "I'm sure Rin would not be here as our daughter. I doubt we would be living together in this house."

"I hate to think that so much of my present overflowing happiness is dependent on their dying. I would like to think we would have found each other anyway."

"My brother and your sister would not begrudge our happiness for a second, Kagome. And I refuse to contemplate a reality where you are not a vital part of my life." He reached out for her hand. "I like to think that Inuyasha would have found some other way to get us together."

"He was pretty tenacious." She twined her fingers through his. "The only thing that matters is this. Us." She yawned, long and lung wrenching. "I need to sleep."

"Go to sleep, Kagome." He watched as her dark lashes fell against her skin and her breathing slowed. She had given him more than he could possibly appreciate in a thousand lifetimes. Thanksgiving was still a couple days away, but he was certain he was the most grateful person on earth.

A/N

_I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own Wall Street Journal, Jack Daniels, Sprite, Robotech characters, Whole Foods, Audi, Betadine, Enya, Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares, A Perfect Circle lyrics, Doptone, The Economist, Howl's Moving Castle or any of its characters, Chux pads, any Pokemon characters, or any Sesame Street characters. It is done. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story, through the many long pauses between updates, and especially this last, monstrous chapter. Thank you to any and all reviewers—you often kept me going during periods of writing malaise. Your supportive words have more power than you can possibly understand. And last thanks to my husband, my vault of information for all things legal and automotive._


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